Caesar65: Escitalopram withdrawal within only 5 weeks after taking it for 18 years/unbearable symptoms since 1 year after withdrawal/advice urgently needed!

[manymoretodays]

2 hours ago, Caesar65 said:

I feel calmer after I was in hot pool or so, for a while,

 

Yay, calm is nice. 

 

I did get a chance to back read here today.

Caesar65, Please avoid any unnecessary additions of herbs or supplements of any kind right now.

 

Your method of 1 gtt(approximating 1 mg) in then 10 mL of water may just have to do for now.  And then you take 5 mL to finally get the 0.5 mg which was recommended/suggested here.

 

You managed to get 17 days or so in with 1 mg, which yes.......might have been too much.  Now you are getting regular with the timing you take the medication at, as well as the dose we wanted you to try to begin with. 

I did also see that you were a weak metabolizer of escitalopram, which might just mean, for now, that it may take a bit longer for you to achieve a nice new steady state/or even concentration day to day of the decreased dose.  We often go with keeping a drug change the same for 4 to 7 days......for you it's possible it may be a whole 7 days until you level out to really reflect the 0.5 mg dose that you've been on for 4 days now......am I correct with that?  Are we on day 4?  Anyway........keep up with the 8 am timing for it.  And would say......let's get you to a full week, 7 days.........on this same dose, at least.

 

No 5HTP, tryptophan, herbals, or anything please.  No additions.  Take away that night time mixture of herbs + melatonin too.  If you can get just straight melatonin, no additions.....and wish to continue that......that would be okay but only at 0.25 mg or 0.33 mg.  I don't think you should ever consider 5HTP or trytophan either.  You don't need less controlled(than a pharmacy made) precursors to things that might change serotonin receptors and serotonin now.  It's just not a good idea.

 

It's important right now to get rid of any variables other than just the 0.5 mg of escitalopram, taken at the same time, mixed the same way.  And I am okay with you doing how you had been.  Consistent method and measurement is helpful.  If we get to the point where this is helping at all......we can fine tune your measurement then.  Or figure a way to measure from the medicine bottle with a syringe then.

 

I feel okay about, if at 7 days.......with everything consistent, no new additions of stuff, and still not improved at all, or sleeping.......then backing down to 0.25 mg.  Which was initially suggested for a reinstatement before Gridley had to take off for awhile to take care of his health.

 

You can back scroll too, when here and get to some of the non-drug sleep tips and calming tips, and begin to try some.  I did see magnesium and omega 3's in your official notes.  Note type of magnesium and dose, and with the omega's note the sum total of the DHA/EPA.  Just so we know.

 

Do not add anything else right now.  If you trialed the 1 drop of lavender already in a glass of water, and just drank half.......that would be okay.  Let's not confuse us, or you, with additions of anything else at all now, besides some of the milder additions.  Omega's, magnesium, a bare minimum of lavender(if you already tried that with even slight relief).

 

You went out to a hot pool?  That would be grand.  If you can do relaxing soaks in a tub at home.....even better.  I'd avoid too long in a spa type hot pool right now.  Your autonomic nervous system is not at it's best. 

 

Sheesh.....you've been at it a long time with WD symptoms......but during your time here have been over trialing other things too, in hopes of a miracle cure. 

 

My thoughts are:  Get to the full 7 days of 0.5 mg escitalopram, if everything is still so unchanged.....then at that point go down to 0.25 mg.  With your same method of mixing that the pharmacist so kindly helped with.  That will be measureable with your 1 mL full syringe twice, and then just to the 0.5 mL mark.

I'm holding out a little hope that somewhere in these next 10 days and you being real consistent and regular with your dosing, and no new trials of anything........you'll level off perhaps to just a little improvement......and then you can stay put with a nice little reinstatement.  Sometimes improvements show after a whole month.  And they often are not complete cure alls but just enough to give you strength for using and finding more effective non-drug/ non ingested things.  I mean you know too, it's awhile since you came off the escitalopram.......this reinstate is not the end all cure.  There isn't one once WD has reared itself.  Yet......there's still hope it might help a little.

 

In reading through your pages here I can see you are a smart guy Caesar65, and well read now on what is going on........I mean you are still in there, since your arrival here.  And you'll be back to feeling better one day.

 

Keep doing the notes.  I'd, if me........get to day 7 with 0.5 mg.  And then at that point if nothing really is better, insomnia still such an issue.......go another week at 0.25 mg, decrease the dose.......which is where I wish you started anyway.   From what I back read......you are just getting real consistent......in the past less than a week even......and that might just pay off soon, or you'll sense improvement.

 

Hold on.  And I am so putting it out there, praying.......Sleep Caesar65......sleep......  Not even a chance of a doze?  During the night or day?

 

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

Edited April 28, 2023 by manymoretodays
typo's spelling

[Altostrata]

Do you feel better or worse taking 0.5mg compared to 1mg?

[Caesar65]

On 4/28/2023 at 2:18 AM, manymoretodays said:

Hold on.  And I am so putting it out there, praying.......Sleep Caesar65......sleep......  Not even a chance of a doze?  During the night or day?

Thank you! 🙏🌹 Thank you for your wonderful assistance, can’t express enough my gratefulness. I started the first day March 25th, when I made my hardest descision ever, to reinstate although my strong inner resistance with 0,25 mg.

But because of my despair, I wanted to try. Then the next days 0,5 mg and then this dose of 1 mg, that I reduced again to 0,5 mg for a few days, because the anxiety and all the terrible feelings almost knocked me down. And then pushing through again with 1 mg, it was a big mistake. Until now there is no relief. Sometimes I think what would happen if I had taken 1 -  2 drops from the beginning like suggested from my doctor. He still thinks, that such small doses can’t have any effects, because I was on 20 mg. Well, but I do !!!! Because I feel the strong effects of the „small doses“! 
My ZNS is highly sensitive, and probably severely damaged. 

And until now, there is still no sleep anymore, not at all. I always feel fully being awake. Very often strong heart beating periods with heart palpitations occurs, that seems like keeping me wake. 
What I am wondering is, that I am able to swim sometimes, but it doesn’t make me tired enough to sleep, too. I always used to have had a good feeling after swimming, but this well - being feeling is also totally gone. And now I get muscle cramps, like I never had before. 
This kind of Insomnia, I never had before in my whole life, it’s unbearable.

And this strong Constipation, I never had that strong before, and there are kinds of skin rashes aso. With my Best wishes and gratefulness , Caesar. 
 
 

 

[Caesar65]

11 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Do you feel better or worse taking 0.5mg compared to 1mg?

Better, for sure. But only compared with 1mg. No relief at all and still severe insomnia and constipation. 

[Caesar65]

27th April 23 
0700 a.m. „woke up“ totally exhausted, weakness

0800 a.m. Lexapro 0,5 mg, feeling debilitated, no clear thinking, weakness

1100  a.m. heavy heart beating, heart palpitations, no clear thinking, drowsiness, confused, magnesium 300 mg 

2:30 p.m. lunch anxiety, no concentration, strong heart beating with heart palpitations , weakness, restlessness

0500 p.m. teatime Omega Capsules, strong heart beating 

0700 p.m. dinner, no concentration, restlessness

0830 p.m. swimming, weakness, muscle cramps, 

1100  p.m. heavy heart beating with palpitations and extreme anxiety /  

1200 p.m. herbal capsule sleep with melatonin 1 mg/ valerian/ hop

0100 p.m. going to bed / no sleep all night /  3 times WC

0330 p.m. still awake, totally exhausted 

0520 p.m. still awake! 

 

[LostInCanada]

@Caesar65 you may have missed the suggestion from MMtodays to stop taking that herbal mix with melatonin. Take just a pure melatonin and a smaller dose...just .25 mg or .33 mg. Melatonin can have a paradoxical reaction if too much is taken. These little things may make a difference.🙏

[Caesar65]

22 hours ago, LostInCanada said:

@Caesar65 you may have missed the suggestion from MMtodays to stop taking that herbal mix with melatonin. Take just a pure melatonin and a smaller dose...just .25 mg or .33 mg. Melatonin can have a paradoxical reaction if too much is taken. These little things may make a difference.🙏

Thank you, haven’t missed it, I didn’t take it today anyway, there is no sleep at all. 
I feel so unreal, doing things against my will. Everything changed to the wrong direction. Why do I feel so bad? Why did I take Lexapro for so long? 

[LostInCanada]

@Caesar65 don't think about the what ifs. We can only move forward and I have to believe it will get better for you. The body is amazing... Just be kind to yourself. 

[Caesar65]

28th April 23:
0700 a.m. „woke up“ totally exhausted, weakness

0800 a.m. Lexapro 0,5 mg, feeling debilitated, no clear thinking, weakness

1100  a.m. heavy heart beating, heart palpitations, no clear thinking, drowsiness, confused,

0200 p.m. lunch strong anxiety, no concentration, strong heart beating, weakness, restlessness, 

0500 p.m. teatime Omega Capsules, strong heart beating, 

0730 p.m. dinner, no concentration, restlessness, strong anxiety, 

0100 p.m. heavy heart beating with palpitations and extreme anxiety /  

1200 p.m. herbal capsule sleep with melatonin 1 mg/ valerian/ hop

0100 p.m. going to bed / no sleep all night /  3 times WC

0245 p.m. still awake, totally exhausted 

0530 p.m. still awake! 

[Caesar65]

29th April 23:
0830 a.m. „woke up“ totally exhausted, weakness

1000 a.m. Lexapro 0,5 mg, feeling debilitated, no clear thinking, weakness

1100  a.m. heavy heart beating, no clear thinking, drowsiness, confused, restlessness

0200 p.m. lunch strong anxiety, no concentration, strong heart beating, weakness, 

0400 p.m. extremely restlessness, confusion, with inability to make decisions! 

1830 p.m. teatime Omega Capsules, strong heart beating, 

0730 p.m. dinner, no concentration, restlessness, strong anxiety, 

0800 p.m. inability to make decisions, restlessness, magnesium 

1100 p.m. heavy heart beating with palpitations and extreme anxiety /  

1200 p.m. tea for sleep

0200 p.m. going to bed / no sleep all night /  3 times WC

0330 p.m. still awake, totally exhausted 

0400 p.m. still awake/ totally desperate

[Catina7]

You are SO brave and strong for enduring what no person should have to endure.  WHEN you improve, you will be a better person because of it and will be able to help OTHERS who are going through the same thing!  Envision the success story that you will get to write.  

 

I've felt what you're feeling...the complete lack of sleep and the overwhelming anxiety and heart palpitations when my withdrawal symptoms were at their worst.  I didn't know if I could keep hanging on.  After about three months my symptoms improved.  I still have anxiety, but I am able to sleep 8-10 hours a night now.  

 

Don't lose HOPE that you will improve.  Your brain just needs time to adjust.  I think if we know that we WILL eventually get better, it helps us to keep enduring.  

 

Be kind and gentle with yourself today.  I am thinking of you with warm, healing thoughts...

[Caesar65]

I can’t bear it anymore, there is no sleep at all. Just exhausting laying in bed, but fully awake. Never ever had that kind of insomnia ever before, this began with reinstating, since April. 

And severe constipation, confusion in my head, I am restricted very massively through that I can’t decide what to do even in everyday matters! I waste the whole day with this terrible feelings! 😢 What is this?! 
and there no concentration, I can’t read the newspapers, want to do much stuff, but can’t do it ; great Forgetfulness! extreme anxiety, but that anxiety was also before reinstating; strong heart beating with palpitations; massive restlessness!
I barely can  sit still and relaxed anymore; and also I am not able to start what I wanted to do, I always hesitate for hours! I hesitate to take the daily dose, too, try to delay taking it; And much more to tell. 

Full of despair!
What is going on with me!? 

Oh my God help me! 

 

 

[Altostrata]

You might decrease your escitalopram dose to 0.25mg, see if that is more helpful.

[Caesar65]

Thank you. 

I forgot to ask:

What do you think about my daily notes, I just  continued writing, without klicking the - quote -? Because you didn’t mention it.
And the point of not being able to make decisions? 
And when I decrease to 0,25 mg could I become even worse from now? 😢 

I am sorry to make inconveniences. I don’t function anymore. 




 

[manymoretodays]

17 minutes ago, Caesar65 said:

And when I decrease to 0,25 mg could I become even worse from now? 😢 

 

I don't think you'll worsen Caesar65, with a decrease.

And good to do your notes.  I'd say for at least the next week.

Try to add in to them, to the right of the times, when you eat, as well as get out, what you did, and those times when you feel any improvement too.  Certainly if you are using any non-drug coping, put that to the right too.

 

Glad you've had your heart checked out too......I did read that you had done that.  Helpful to know that it is just autonomic dysfunction.

 

Not easy I know.  I think you are making some progress in coping.  I do.

 

You are in protracted WD my friend. 

Edited April 30, 2023 by manymoretodays

[Caesar65]

4 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

 

I don't think you'll worsen Caesar65, with a decrease.

And good to do your notes.  I'd say for at least the next week.

Try to add in to them, to the right of the times, when you eat, as well as get out, what you did, and those times when you feel any improvement too.  Certainly if you are using any non-drug coping, put that to the right too.

 

Glad you've had your heart checked out too......I did read that you had done that.  Helpful to know that it is just autonomic dysfunction.

 

Not easy I know.  I think you are making some progress in coping.  I do.

 

You are in protracted WD my friend. 

Thank you, my dear! I feel like being totally disabled, and not logical thinking. 
But what about this terrible symptom, that I already had last year, and has become very worse more and more since reinstating, and is restricting me, totally disabling me! 😢 The point not being able to decide anything, even simple things, are causing anxiety and panic, and I feel restlessness very extremely.
It seens to me like a psychotic symptom or something like that ?! 
And getting 0,25 mg with this syringe, I hope I do it right. So from tomorrow on I shall reduce? Just filling the water solution 5 times but only half full. 
And if I continue writing here without the quote setting, like I answered also to Alto, am I doing that right? 


 

[manymoretodays]

Use the same pharmacist directed mixture.

1 drop(gtt) in 10 mL water. 

That's approximating 1 mg in 10 mL water

Then using a 1 mL syringe, after stirring the liquid a bit, draw up 2.5 mL

1 mL + 1 mL + 1/2 or 0.5 mL will equal 2.5 mL

Which is?  You know.  0.25 mg

 

Tomorrow is fine to start, as I think you've done 7 days with 0.5 mg now.

1 hour ago, Caesar65 said:

and has become very worse more and more since reinstating, and is restricting me, totally disabling me! 😢 The point not being able to decide anything, even simple things, are causing anxiety and panic, and I feel restlessness very extremely.

 

This doesn't sound like psychosis.  You'll be on the lowest end possible of reinstatement dose, and may begin to level off from those 17 days on 1 mg

 

That is my hope.  A day at a time.  Notice the good, dream about the better, and eventually so it may be.

 

You're doing fine.  Quotes are good.  If it's got a date and then times on the left, and everything else under the Sun on the left, with names, dosages, supplements(names-dosages), and activity, improved hours or minutes, non-drug coping, going out, eating and whatever else to the left of a time, Alto will see that.  AND.....you may get a better feel too, for what helps, what hinders, and it will make it clearer to you too how to best work around your symptoms or find relief from time to time.

You'll get clearer in the head Caesar, and more decisive and logical.  And find ways to help with the anxiety and panic when they come, that don't involve ingesting anything.  Most all of us do.

 

Sunshine here.  Sunday.  And a whole lot of yard/garden work to do for me.  With joy.  Over months.  Many more things too.....to get to.  Piece by piece.  Little by little.

 

Sending healing vibes.  Sanity.  Relaxation.  Music.  Cats. 🙂

 

 

[Caesar65]

8 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Use the same pharmacist directed mixture.

1 drop(gtt) in 10 mL water. 

That's approximating 1 mg in 10 mL water

Then using a 1 mL syringe, after stirring the liquid a bit, draw up 2.5 mL

1 mL + 1 mL + 1/2 or 0.5 mL will equal 2.5 mL

Which is?  You know.  0.25 mg

 

Tomorrow is fine to start, as I think you've done 7 days with 0.5 mg now.

 

This doesn't sound like psychosis.  You'll be on the lowest end possible of reinstatement dose, and may begin to level off from those 17 days on 1 mg

 

That is my hope.  A day at a time.  Notice the good, dream about the better, and eventually so it may be.

 

You're doing fine.  Quotes are good.  If it's got a date and then times on the left, and everything else under the Sun on the left, with names, dosages, supplements(names-dosages), and activity, improved hours or minutes, non-drug coping, going out, eating and whatever else to the left of a time, Alto will see that.  AND.....you may get a better feel too, for what helps, what hinders, and it will make it clearer to you too how to best work around your symptoms or find relief from time to time.

You'll get clearer in the head Caesar, and more decisive and logical.  And find ways to help with the anxiety and panic when they come, that don't involve ingesting anything.  Most all of us do.

 

Sunshine here.  Sunday.  And a whole lot of yard/garden work to do for me.  With joy.  Over months.  Many more things too.....to get to.  Piece by piece.  Little by little.

 

Sending healing vibes.  Sanity.  Relaxation.  Music.  Cats. 🙂

 

 

Thanks a lot for your kind words!  I want to do so much, but I feel blocked. I would also like to enjoy any work, too. It is good, that you are doing fine, and can do that, that is wonderful.
But I feel totally overwhelmed just with little things😢 And then there is this severe point of not being able to decide, what to do. This can result in dangerous situations caused through this. In the end, hours are gone, and I was in terrible anxiety and restlessness, and totally blocked from any action, and I did: nothing! 😢 It is hard to explain, this terrible uncanny feeling. And people get very disappointed through my behaviour, nobody understands this.
I hurt feelings without my intention! 😢 I also want to write the other wonderful people here at SA who have been writing me lately, I still couldn’t do it, and I am suffering because of this. 

I think for hours, if I f.e. should go to the city and buy something, and on the way I turn around and this circle goes on and on several times, can you imagine?

It seems like there is something inside me, which has the power about my intentions and prevents me massively from doing any normal actions. It’s scary. Have you ever heard about these strange symptom from anyone else? 

But first I like to ask you about the herbal product Ashgawanda, could it perhaps be an option to get sleep back🙏? I stopped with melatonin 1 mg, but the lavender tea didn’t help so far, the lavender water, too. 
I guess you will probably not recommend it, but I hope you don’t mind if I ask. 
There are also Combined Products including Ashgawanda, Passionflower and Lavender. I did not take Ashgawanda yet. 

1 hour ago, manymoretodays said:

supplements

 

 

 

 

[manymoretodays]

5 minutes ago, Caesar65 said:

But first I like to ask you about the herbal product Ashgawanda, could it perhaps be an option to get sleep back🙏? I stopped with melatonin 1 mg, but the lavender tea didn’t help so far, the lavender water, too. 
I guess you will probably not recommend it, but I hope you don’t mind if I ask. 
There are also Combined Products including Ashgawanda, Passionflower and Lavender. I did not take Ashgawanda yet. 

 

No.  Not while you are in this lowering dose of reinstatement phase.

And.  Later.  Research.  Stick with single ingredient only.  Start low.  Go slow.  While you are NOT making any other changes.

How to Do a Site Search on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I've been here since 2015 now.  8 years!  Wow.  And have never seen any one at all report reversal of protracted withdrawal syndrome from any herb or supplement mix.  That cure we'd I'll love to see does not exist.  And sometimes, some of that stuff does more harm than good.

 

I get it Caesar, all that you are describing.  And I still get hit at a milder level perhaps......at least once a year.  In fact I am doing my best now to get it all in perspective.  I still have to ask for help when needed.  I can pay a little for help when needed too.....but of course I have to be comfortable with interactions, and can't control when they come, or noise levels involved, and so many things.

I just keep prioritizing relationships.  All my relations.  My dear son/Sun had his 31 st birthday friday.  And a wonderful lunch was had.  6 of us.  Some now out of law relations, and one of his old friends since they were 4 and 6 year olds.  And his Dad.  We've been divorced for quite a while.  We are amicable.  And in forgiveness, at least I am.  I thanked him for my son/SUN.  And seeing some members of his family was so great.  With Covid and the now newish normal(certainly not complete yet) I have not seen them for too long.

 

Yesterday.  Got the mower, the grass cutting machine going. 

 

I have not achieved my perfect part time job yet.  And may never.  I think I am older than you.  And had the experience of so many medications/drugs over so long........I MUST be patient.  And I am.  Emotions are still a bit irregular lately.  I'm sensitive to too much at once. 

And just getting back to a better routine.  Still always hoping for a full year of better stability.  Have not quite got there yet.

 

I think most German speakers, do pretty well with reading English.  I don't know.  I have a cousin who lives in Germany......and really likes the order there, the cleanliness/tidiness.  He's been there since early adulthood.  And I wish we had it all figured out to fix withdrawal.  Strides are being made in "deprescribing" as well as "less prescribing",  and many work hard to collect more data, write articles, and hopefully some day in the future......what has happened to you, and me.......won't.  Of course you are more acute/earlier and one drug all along, and I suspect younger.......which bodes well for your Caesar65.  It really does.

 

I should update my success story and will soon, as that's my place for narrative about me, now 6 years and 4 months off all of it.  Thanks for the space.  And I know how every interaction can help.

 

In healing, in patience, in hope and faith, and courage and fortitude.  Survivors to thrivers!

 

mmt

 

 

[LostInCanada]

@Caesar65 I went through a similar time of indecisiveness. I would wonder if I should drink some water first or make the bed first. I couldn't figure it out like it was some big problem needing to be solved.  It will get better... It has too. ❤️

[Caesar65]

11 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

 

No.  Not while you are in this lowering dose of reinstatement phase.

And.  Later.  Research.  Stick with single ingredient only.  Start low.  Go slow.  While you are NOT making any other changes.

How to Do a Site Search on Surviving Antidepressants

 

I've been here since 2015 now.  8 years!  Wow.  And have never seen any one at all report reversal of protracted withdrawal syndrome from any herb or supplement mix.  That cure we'd I'll love to see does not exist.  And sometimes, some of that stuff does more harm than good.

 

I get it Caesar, all that you are describing.  And I still get hit at a milder level perhaps......at least once a year.  In fact I am doing my best now to get it all in perspective.  I still have to ask for help when needed.  I can pay a little for help when needed too.....but of course I have to be comfortable with interactions, and can't control when they come, or noise levels involved, and so many things.

I just keep prioritizing relationships.  All my relations.  My dear son/Sun had his 31 st birthday friday.  And a wonderful lunch was had.  6 of us.  Some now out of law relations, and one of his old friends since they were 4 and 6 year olds.  And his Dad.  We've been divorced for quite a while.  We are amicable.  And in forgiveness, at least I am.  I thanked him for my son/SUN.  And seeing some members of his family was so great.  With Covid and the now newish normal(certainly not complete yet) I have not seen them for too long.

 

Yesterday.  Got the mower, the grass cutting machine going. 

 

I have not achieved my perfect part time job yet.  And may never.  I think I am older than you.  And had the experience of so many medications/drugs over so long........I MUST be patient.  And I am.  Emotions are still a bit irregular lately.  I'm sensitive to too much at once. 

And just getting back to a better routine.  Still always hoping for a full year of better stability.  Have not quite got there yet.

 

I think most German speakers, do pretty well with reading English.  I don't know.  I have a cousin who lives in Germany......and really likes the order there, the cleanliness/tidiness.  He's been there since early adulthood.  And I wish we had it all figured out to fix withdrawal.  Strides are being made in "deprescribing" as well as "less prescribing",  and many work hard to collect more data, write articles, and hopefully some day in the future......what has happened to you, and me.......won't.  Of course you are more acute/earlier and one drug all along, and I suspect younger.......which bodes well for your Caesar65.  It really does.

 

I should update my success story and will soon, as that's my place for narrative about me, now 6 years and 4 months off all of it.  Thanks for the space.  And I know how every interaction can help.

 

In healing, in patience, in hope and faith, and courage and fortitude.  Survivors to thrivers!

 

mmt

 

 

Urgent message! 🤯😩 Dear Friend, I am totally scared! And I did it wrong!
Unfortunately I noted that I always took to much with the 1,0 ml syringe, because I filled it completely and then emptied it 5 x in a glass of water. So it was always  more than 0,5 mg! When I fill the syringe completely, than it is 1,1 ml !? 
That means I took mistakenly more than 0,5 mg. 
And today I reduced to the 0,25mg. But probably this will be to fast!! 
The syringe should have been filled only until the marker.
And now we have already 1330 hrs in the afternoon. 
Sad greetings from Germany 

C65

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

You'll get over this in a few days.

 

@Caesar65 you might note: Every post you've made in this topic expresses panic over something. Suggest you make an effort to put things into perspective before reacting in alarm.

[manymoretodays]

Caesar,

 

If you were taking close to 1/2 of the full volume, with the water and 1 drop......you did okay.

Nobody gets it all perfect.  Keep working for accuracy, and note in your notes/drug and symptom diary that you may have taken a bit more on the day it happened last, that you went over the lines of 1 mL when you measured.

 

You do need to measure just to the line of 1 mL 1mL again and then 0.5 mL when your next dose is due.  Just to the line.

That will approximate the .25 mg dose.

And you've already figured that out.  Why panic??

If you are completely unable to do this with the drops and measuring correctly, you might try having your pharmacist further assist in diluting and going over with you how to measure your new dose of just 0.25 mg

 

And yes, go to 0.25 mg dose as planned.

 

I understand your distress but yes, try not to make an emergency sense of urgency out of everything.  Don't hit the reply button until you've calmed down.  You can type and type and edit and edit until then.  Maybe it will be calming.  I hope you get to post from and keyboard and actually type.  I find typing on a keyboard calming.

 

 

 

[Caesar65]

8 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

@Caesar65 you might note: Every post you've made in this topic expresses panic over something. Suggest you make an effort to put things into perspective before reacting in alarm.

I am so sorry, but I can’t help it to react like that. I am so much restricted because of my symptoms, that I don’t react in a normal way. And because I can’t sleep at all!
I am sorry to bother you. 
And because of the important fact of using small doses for reinstating and what negative effects an increase or decrease may cause, and that I am going through I worry very much about to make everything worse from now. Please don’t be angry with me. I really appreciate your help and I need it. The main problem was, that I exceeded the line always, so it was not only this day that I took to much. 
 

[Altostrata]

1 minute ago, Caesar65 said:

I am so much restricted because of my symptoms, that I don’t react in a normal way. And because I can’t sleep at all!

 

Please read other Introductions topics. Many of our members are in the same situation.

[Caesar65]

23 minutes ago, manymoretodays said:

Caesar,

 

If you were taking close to 1/2 of the full volume, with the water and 1 drop......you did okay.

Nobody gets it all perfect.  Keep working for accuracy, and note in your notes/drug and symptom diary that you may have taken a bit more on the day it happened last, that you went over the lines of 1 mL when you measured.

 

You do need to measure just to the line of 1 mL 1mL again and then 0.5 mL when your next dose is due.  Just to the line.

That will approximate the .25 mg dose.

And you've already figured that out.  Why panic??

If you are completely unable to do this with the drops and measuring correctly, you might try having your pharmacist further assist in diluting and going over with you how to measure your new dose of just 0.25 mg

 

And yes, go to 0.25 mg dose as planned.

 

I understand your distress but yes, try not to make an emergency sense of urgency out of everything.  Don't hit the reply button until you've calmed down.  You can type and type and edit and edit until then.  Maybe it will be calming.  I hope you get to post from and keyboard and actually type.  I find typing on a keyboard calming.

 

 

 

Dear MMtodays,

Please don’t be angry with me, but I got in panic, because I noted today, that I always exceeded the line in the syringe! How could I be so stupid?! I can’t believe it! 
Because I am so much restricted, and since I can’t sleep anymore, I don’t function in a normal way anymore. I am very grateful for your help and need it! 
You are a wonderful person, I feel it. And you give me so much encouragement. 
But I already was higher than the 0,5 mg, and now probably I reduced to fast down to 0,25, that is what I worry very much about.

I deeply regret the inconvenience caused. I can’t help it, to get in panic, but I promise to try to calm down, with the keyboard. 

 

[Catina7]

On 4/30/2023 at 10:24 AM, Caesar65 said:

I can’t bear it anymore, there is no sleep at all. Just exhausting laying in bed, but fully awake. Never ever had that kind of insomnia ever before, this began with reinstating, since April. 

And severe constipation, confusion in my head, I am restricted very massively through that I can’t decide what to do even in everyday matters! I waste the whole day with this terrible feelings! 😢 What is this?! 
and there no concentration, I can’t read the newspapers, want to do much stuff, but can’t do it ; great Forgetfulness! extreme anxiety, but that anxiety was also before reinstating; strong heart beating with palpitations; massive restlessness!
I barely can  sit still and relaxed anymore; and also I am not able to start what I wanted to do, I always hesitate for hours! I hesitate to take the daily dose, too, try to delay taking it; And much more to tell. 

Full of despair!
What is going on with me!? 

Oh my God help me! 

 

 

 

[Catina7]

1 minute ago, Catina7 said:

 

Sorry, I made a mistake in my above post!

 

@Caesar65 I hope you read this, and don't worry about replying since you're in great distress.

1. You WILL get through this...believe that!
2. Try to think positive thoughts.  I know it's hard but it will really help you, promise!
3. Be grateful for the little things even if it's just being thankful that you're still breathing and have your five senses.
4. Know you're not alone.  There are others out there suffering similar things.
5. Try not to worry about tomorrow, but just concentrate on each moment as it comes.
6. Be kind and gentle with yourself.  Show yourself some compassion.

I think about you every day and am sending you much love and support!!! 🥰

[manymoretodays]

4 hours ago, Caesar65 said:

Dear MMtodays,

Please don’t be angry with me, but I got in panic, because I noted today, that I always exceeded the line in the syringe! How could I be so stupid?! I can’t believe it! 

 

Not angry Caesar.  Just a busy morning for me in U.S. mountain time.   Trying to be concise and efficient doesn't always come off kindly......I'm with you Caesar, cheering for you, awaiting improvement.  BTW, it's coming.......just around the next bend with this new decreased dose more carefully measured.

Don't talk about yourself with the word "stupid".  Please.  Live and learn and you are.

 

All in all, good reason to still go with the 0.25 mg dose today and for the next 6 days at least.  It will get clearer if you've had too much, if you level off on this lowered dose.  And you may.

 

I'm a little nervoid today too, or nervous.  Stressed is all.  Engaged some outside help- lovely Samoan folks, Pacific Islander with strength.  And they are starting to do some xero-scaping in one area of my small property, and tree work.  And then I have the usual Monday, monday stuff on the ground to get too. 

It's all good.  Hang on Snoopy. 

What are you grateful for Caesar65?  Have you got a house to live in.  Enough to eat.  Enough money to get by until you can get back to work.  Some good friends.  Additional family?  I know the loss of your Mum was tough, and what you had to witness.  Lost my own Mum-----almost 2 years ago now.... however, I had her for a whole 63 years and she was able to live independently with our help, my brother and sisters, and I.  She's with me a lot right now......in spirit.  And the missing makes me cry.  Then I'm back to almost normal.

 

Okay.  I'm back to offline work.  Maybe back later or it might not be til early tomorrow.

Go to music Caesar.....try and see what type calms you.

Start here:  Music therapy/music for wellness and healing

Edited May 1, 2023 by manymoretodays

[Caesar65]

5 hours ago, Catina7 said:

Sorry, I made a mistake in my above post!

 

@Caesar65 I hope you read this, and don't worry about replying since you're in great distress.

1. You WILL get through this...believe that!
2. Try to think positive thoughts.  I know it's hard but it will really help you, promise!
3. Be grateful for the little things even if it's just being thankful that you're still breathing and have your five senses.
4. Know you're not alone.  There are others out there suffering similar things.
5. Try not to worry about tomorrow, but just concentrate on each moment as it comes.
6. Be kind and gentle with yourself.  Show yourself some compassion.

I think about you every day and am sending you much love and support!!! 🥰

Dear Catina! I thank you so very much for your kind words! 

Allow me sending you hugs and love and support to you also! 

I know of course, that I am not alone with my problems, there are many others who are suffering, too! And I like to write them, I feel so deeply touched, if someone like you writes me in such an inspiring way. I am full of despair: I can´t take action to  what I intend to do!

 

I feel so helpless and and disabled also in all normal actions, that I rapidly get panic attacks, I probably would not have under normal conditions. But nothing is normal anymore, it gets worse. I am prevented to start my urgent every day business, I can´t concentrate anymore, I want to call somebody, but I can´t.

I have this heavy symptom, that it takes me hours to make any sponteneous decisions, even just for normal things, and time goes by, is wasted. 

I want to do anything, but I am not able to start and just do it. And that makes me fully desparated! Because I can´t sleep at all, I am much more restricted than I already was. And until now I found nothing, that helped my severe insomnia, which started after the reinstating of Escitalopram. I never ever had that in my whole life before, and it makes everything worse for me, and all this other symptoms/side effects since reinstating.

Once again thank you for all your messages, and I wish you the very best, Stay in Touch! 

With my best wishes and Symphathy, Caesar 

[Caesar65]

7 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Please read other Introductions topics. Many of our members are in the same situation.

I

[Caesar65]

1 hour ago, Caesar65 said:

I

 

8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Please read other Introductions topics. Many of our members are in the same situation.

I know, that there are many members in same situations, and they also cry for help. And I feel deep symphathy for them all, but even writing has become much more strenuous now, then it already was, because of this Insomnia. 

I feel, like I am not myself anymore. 

 

But since this Insomnia, the simple things to handle are even much more difficult, even just simple things. And I was already very restricted massively. I am in great fear, that I damaged my reinstatement, my aim was to go to a dose, which give me the long awaited feeling back, that I could say: I feel well.

I felt so shocked about myself today, I am sorry. And I was in great fear, that I reduced to fast from the 0,5 mg which has been actually more, because the 1,0 ml  syringe was filled and emptied over the line,  all the time, when I expected to get a 0,5 mg dose. 

I still can´t believe it, that this could happen. I feel like a Fool. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Caesar65]

5 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Not angry Caesar.  Just a busy morning for me in U.S. mountain time.   Trying to be concise and efficient doesn't always come off kindly......I'm with you Caesar, cheering for you, awaiting improvement.  BTW, it's coming.......just around the next bend with this new decreased dose more carefully measured.

Dear MMtodays, my Guardian Angel, 

I thank you so much for everything,  and I feel eased, that you are not angry with me.  Once again, I am sorry, I was so much in panic, got overexcited, was totally shocked about myself. 

And I thought, how can I be that foolish, not being able to handle simple things anymore. And I thought, my reinstatement developed wrong, because I always took more than the supposed 0,5 mg. 

And because of this Insomnia, I feel so 

 

 

 

[LostInCanada]

@Caesar65 this is such a stressful time for us all. Be kind to yourself. It's going to be okay. Day by day. 🙏

[Caesar65]

7 hours ago, manymoretodays said:

Not angry Caesar.  Just a busy morning for me in U.S. mountain time.   Trying to be concise and efficient doesn't always come off kindly......I'm with you Caesar, cheering for you, awaiting improvement.  BTW, it's coming.......just around the next bend with this new decreased dose more carefully measured.

Dear Mmtodays, 
thank you so much for everything, and I feel eased, that you are not angry with me. 

And I am glad, that I can continue with a dose 0,25 mg and there is no need to be afraid.

 

But first I thought because of my mistake I might be forced to stay again on 0,5 mg for a while and will not get rid of the terrible insomnia and the other new developments of side effects symptoms since reinstating. 

And then I got in panic. 

I am very grateful for your help and support, you are my Guardian Angel!

Your healing words are so much inspiration for me, I feel the power, I am very highly sensitive.

Once again, I am sorry, I was so much in panic, got overexcited, was totally shocked about myself.

And I thought, how can I be that foolish,

not being able to handle simple things anymore. 

And I thought, my reinstatement developed wrong, because I always took more than the supposed 0,5 mg.

And because of this Insomnia, I feel so bad and much more massively disabled, than I already am. And I thought, I destroyed my aim, my hope to feel relief, and got in panic. Only because of this little overdose through mistakenly exceeding the line of the syringe, and I was in extreme fear, and thought, if I always had more than the supposed 0,5 mg, maybe that caused worse symptoms and will create stronger withdrawal symptoms after I reduce to 0,25. In case I was on 0,6 or 0,65 because the syringe was emptied completely over the line, then the step to reduce may be to rapidly if I reduce to 0,25. I guess you know what I mean. And because I was so confused and with the numbness in my head, I can't think normal, everything seems to be delayed. 
And the reason for my fear of thinking is, because I always read about the withdrawal symptoms getting much worse if a reduction is made too rapidly. 

It is wonderful that you had your mom for so long, and she had good care by you and your family. I always think of my beloved mom, who would be by my side in this difficult times, like I always was with her. And I cry, I miss her so much, and yes, you feel the spirit, but it hurts me so bad, when I think how she passed. Being all alone in a small room, because of the Covid Restrictions. There's a lot more to tell but can't do it now.

RIP Mom and Dad! I pray for your mom, too! She will be with you, yes, you are right, they both are with us in spirit.

 

And Music! I love music, classical music, Motown Sound, but also Rock, Gospel and my Favourite Diana Ross: Ain’t no mountain high enough…! 
But since last year I barely listen to music anymore. 😥 

Best wishes from Caesar🌹

[Caesar65]

On 4/24/2023 at 7:27 AM, AmitV said:

 

Sleep is actually the most important aspect of recovery from withdrawals or adverse reaction in your case. It's unfortunate that you're still going through this. As much as there is a huge list of do's and don'ts recommended by SA. Nothing will speed the process up until your nervous system and your brain will heal which occurs at a lightning fast speed during good sleep.

 

At this point I would recommend you start looking at options to get your sleep intact. Start with the tea's, if they don't work then take half diphenhydramine (OTC antihistamine sleep aid). Half should do the trick with your 4-6hr broken sleep pattern. Try these options before considering prescription alternatives. 

 

You may find that just 2-4 nights of good sleep utilizing an aid may get you back into a comfortable sleep pattern.

My dear Amit, 

which teas do you mean? And diphenhydramine is similar to doxylamin?

I have to say, that since today, I feel extremely worse, it is developing extremely unbearable. My heart is beating heavyli and heart palpitations are lasting for hours.

My sleep is completely gone, I am exhausted but fully awake, I have a hard time to write, I feel very disabled. I can’t work, and my head seems to be empty, it’s undescribable, how I feel. And I know there are many people suffering in the same way, like I do. But we need to express ourselves. To give each other support and healing words. I am deeply touched by all the messages, want to write back to everyone, to all the wonderful people, but I can’t think clearly, I can’t take any normal and spontaneous action, it is like I am blocked from inside. 
I need sleep, but there is none. 
Greetings from Germany, C65