Bailey Posted January 1 Posted January 1 Hi, I'm new here. A friend found this site for me a few weeks ago. I wish I had found it many many years ago. I'm in extreme crisis. I did a drop on Paxil from 20-10mg in October 2023. The bottom dropped out in November. I caught a virus and that's when things started to spiral. I think it was a virus and not just withdrawal because I had a high fever and a lot of coughing in addition to body aches but maybe I'm wrong. My physician brought me back up to 15mg on November 18 but I switched to the equivalent 7.5ml liquid at that time because I couldn't split the tiny pills evenly. Not confident I'm doing the syringe properly either. I am totally destabilized and in dangerous shape. Constant high level terror, anxiety, shaking, electrical current running through body, insomnia, suicidal thoughts, hopelessness at finding help. Waking up is terrifying. Lots of akathisia. I've been to the ER twice but don't want to go in-patient for fear of having more meds poured in that will make me much sicker. I realize now that I wasn't tapering properly even though I was doing it with a doctor. I wish I had found the tapering info. here much sooner. If I can stabilize, I will taper differently after I figure it all out. Right now it's the urgent matter of stabilizing and surviving. My nervous system seems to be an out of control freight train every hour of the day. No idea what to do. 1 Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 1 Moderator Posted January 1 Hi @Bailey and welcome to SA, Glad you've found us We have lots of information here on the site and we've all been in a similar situation. Thank you so much for creating a signature, this helps us out immensely. To confirm, are you still on the xanax XR - it looks like you're on .5mg? If so, when do you take this? As you have found out, a reduction from 20mg to 10mg is a very big jump. We suggest a harm reduction tapering approach here, whereby we do not recommend tapering now more than 10% of your current dose each month. See Why taper by 10% You might find these other links helpful as well: The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization Keep it simple, slow and stable What is Withdrawal Syndrome? Symptoms and Self-care What date in October did you drop to 10mg? What date in November did you go back up to 15mg - did you switch directly to liquid at this time? 4 hours ago, Bailey said: Not confident I'm doing the syringe properly either. What is happening with the syringe? 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, suggestions/comments are based on personal experiences. This is not medical advice. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's ***
MarlyDutchie Posted January 1 Posted January 1 Is your liquid 2mg per 1ml? What does the bottle say? And why are you doubting the syringe? Paroxetine: 1995: seroxat at 11 yo for three months (?!). 2008: Jan: started 10mg, was hell (incl acathisia, dyskinesia). 2009: Feb: started taper, May: 0mg, July: went downhill fast (WD?), Dec: started 10mg again. 2015 + 2017: up to 20mg and down to 10mg, no WD. 2021: June: started taper, aug: 2,8mg, short WD, hold on 3mg, more emotional ever since and more frequent panic attacks. 2023: Jan 26: started taper, March 9: 2,2mg, got WD, hold, WD got worse, March 25: 2,5mg, April 4: missed a dose, 2x suicidal crisis April 11 and 23, severe WD ever since. Reinstatement 0,1mg microsteps after six months: Sept 5: 2,6mg to Dec 25: 3,0mg and hold. I think almost 90% recovered after reinstating. Benzo’s: 2002-2021: using appr. 5-10x 10mg oxa a year. 2008 + 2009: 3x 10mg oxa daily for two weeks when starting Prxt, no WD. 2008: used 10-20mg Dia for a few days for severe orofacial dyskinesia and akathisia (when starting Prxt + high dose Metoclopramide and severe underweight), WD? 2022: 15x 10mg oxa. 2023: March 1-24: around 60mg Oxa total. After March 25: oxa daily around 5-30mg, April 12: switched to 1mg Lora daily (crisis), April 23: 3mg Lora daily (2nd crisis), April 27: 2,25mg Lora daily, May 12: tapered further. June 20: reached 1mg Lora daily, got WD, July 01: 1,25mg Lora daily, no relief. Aug 25: 1,5mg Lora daily, got better after 5 days. Dec 5: 1,7mg Lora daily. 2024, started taper: Feb 01: 1,63mg. March 03: 1,599mg. March 24: 1,566mg. Apr 26: 1,557mg, May 1: 1,548mg —-—> Oct 9: 1,41mg (liquid microtaper: 4 steps of 0,5% every 5 days, followed by 10 days stabilization. So minus -2% each month). Intermediate metaboliser (‘bit more slow’) on CYP2D6 (*1/*4) and CYP2C19 (*1/*2). Extensive (‘normal’) on CYP3A4.
Bailey Posted January 1 Author Posted January 1 @LotusRisingYes, I'm still taking the xanax .5mg er (down from prescribed 6mg in hospital). I take that in the morning around 6:30am. I had a manufacturer change for this med on Dec. 7, 2023. I dropped Paxil from 20mg to 15mg on Oct. 14 and then down to 10mg on Oct. 21. The bottom dropped out around November 5 after a virus (I think a virus). I tried to go back up to 20mg that week but it was fuel to the fire. The doctor put me back down to 15mg but switched to liquid on Nov. 18. So, yes, the switch to 15mg (7.5ml liquid) and the liquid version happened on the same day. Thank you for the warm welcome to SA. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 1 Moderator Posted January 1 It's not uncommon for a virus to destabilize your nervous system when it's already struggling. This happened to me when I got covid, but it was thankfully short-lived. I don't want to give you too much reading material, but this link might help you understand what happened when you went back up to 20mg Hypersensitivity and Kindling When do you take your dose? Have any of your symptoms improved or resolved since holding your dose? 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, suggestions/comments are based on personal experiences. This is not medical advice. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's ***
Bailey Posted January 1 Author Posted January 1 @MarliesDutchNew here and hoping I'm doing the replies correctly. Yes, it looks to be 2ml to 1mg. I got an EZY dose syringe that has a stopper for 7.5ml so I draw till it stops. I seem to be going through the 30-day supply to quickly, however. I don't know if that's the syringe or if the added amount of the tip is throwing things off. I push out the syringe into my mouth. There's always an amount left in the tip. I've been leaving it so as to do the same thing every day. However, I don't know if that amount left in the tip after pushing out the liquid each day is actually the same each day. All of the possible variances are very scary to me right now in this hyper-reactive state. Since I'm trying to stabilize, I want to continue to do exactly the same thing every day. I hope that makes some sense. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Bailey Posted January 1 Author Posted January 1 @LotusRisingI take it in the morning at 6:30 at the same time as the xanax. The one thing that's a little better is that I get a little more sleep. I went for about a month where I didn't sleep at all. The days are brutal and it's hard to see improvement, however. Thanks for the info. on the virus' possible effects. That helps. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Bailey Posted January 1 Author Posted January 1 @LotusRising I got an EZY dose syringe online that has a stopper for 7.5ml so I draw till it stops. I seem to be going through the 30-day supply too quickly. I don't know if that's the syringe or if the added amount in the tip is throwing things off. I push out the syringe into my mouth. There's always an amount left in the tip. I've been leaving it so as to do the same thing every day. However, I don't know if the amount left in the tip after pushing out the liquid each day is actually the same. Since I'm trying to stabilize, I want to continue to do exactly the same thing every day. One day, I pulled back the syringe a second time and pushed the tip amount into my mouth and I felt more electrified and worse that day. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 1 Moderator Posted January 1 1 hour ago, Bailey said: There's always an amount left in the tip. I've been leaving it so as to do the same thing every day. That sounds right. I wouldn't worry about the amount left in the tip. The syringe should be designed in such a way to account for this, but I would stick to the same brand of syringes throughout your taper. Once you've drawn out the correct amount, I would hold it upside down to ensure you've got the correct amount and then flick it until there are no bubbles. If you're still having trouble, it wouldn't hurt to review your technique with your pharmacist. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, suggestions/comments are based on personal experiences. This is not medical advice. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's ***
Bailey Posted January 1 Author Posted January 1 Thank you @LotusRising. That's a relief to hear about the tip not being as big an issue as I thought. I'm finding in this unstable state that I have a lot of fear about doing anything wrong and making things worse. As for drawing the liquid, I'll be sure to turn upside down and flick the syringe. The oral suspension comes with directions to shake well which does lend itself to air bubbles. Thanks again. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
MarlyDutchie Posted January 1 Posted January 1 2 hours ago, Bailey said: @MarliesDutchNew here and hoping I'm doing the replies correctly. Yes, it looks to be 2ml to 1mg. Does the bottle say: - “2ml to 1mg” (see your quote) or - 1ml to 2mg Just checking if this is a typo!! Because if your quote is correct and you are taking 7,5ml then you are taking not enough. “2ml is 1mg”, so 7,5ml would only be 3,75mg. And not 15mg. If you made a typo, and the bottle says “1ml to 2mg”, then you’re taking indeed 15mg with 7,5ml. Paroxetine: 1995: seroxat at 11 yo for three months (?!). 2008: Jan: started 10mg, was hell (incl acathisia, dyskinesia). 2009: Feb: started taper, May: 0mg, July: went downhill fast (WD?), Dec: started 10mg again. 2015 + 2017: up to 20mg and down to 10mg, no WD. 2021: June: started taper, aug: 2,8mg, short WD, hold on 3mg, more emotional ever since and more frequent panic attacks. 2023: Jan 26: started taper, March 9: 2,2mg, got WD, hold, WD got worse, March 25: 2,5mg, April 4: missed a dose, 2x suicidal crisis April 11 and 23, severe WD ever since. Reinstatement 0,1mg microsteps after six months: Sept 5: 2,6mg to Dec 25: 3,0mg and hold. I think almost 90% recovered after reinstating. Benzo’s: 2002-2021: using appr. 5-10x 10mg oxa a year. 2008 + 2009: 3x 10mg oxa daily for two weeks when starting Prxt, no WD. 2008: used 10-20mg Dia for a few days for severe orofacial dyskinesia and akathisia (when starting Prxt + high dose Metoclopramide and severe underweight), WD? 2022: 15x 10mg oxa. 2023: March 1-24: around 60mg Oxa total. After March 25: oxa daily around 5-30mg, April 12: switched to 1mg Lora daily (crisis), April 23: 3mg Lora daily (2nd crisis), April 27: 2,25mg Lora daily, May 12: tapered further. June 20: reached 1mg Lora daily, got WD, July 01: 1,25mg Lora daily, no relief. Aug 25: 1,5mg Lora daily, got better after 5 days. Dec 5: 1,7mg Lora daily. 2024, started taper: Feb 01: 1,63mg. March 03: 1,599mg. March 24: 1,566mg. Apr 26: 1,557mg, May 1: 1,548mg —-—> Oct 9: 1,41mg (liquid microtaper: 4 steps of 0,5% every 5 days, followed by 10 days stabilization. So minus -2% each month). Intermediate metaboliser (‘bit more slow’) on CYP2D6 (*1/*4) and CYP2C19 (*1/*2). Extensive (‘normal’) on CYP3A4.
Bailey Posted January 1 Author Posted January 1 14 minutes ago, MarliesDutch said: If you made a typo, and the bottle says “1ml to 2mg”, then you’re taking indeed 15mg with 7,5ml. @MarliesDutch Yes, that was definitely a typo. The bottle doesn't specify (wish it did) but my doctor looked it up when writing the prescription and said that 7.5ml oral suspension was the equivalent of a 15mg tablet. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Grog Posted January 2 Posted January 2 Hello, Well I can tell you from my experience that what you are going through is normal. I too went through the brain zaps, anxiety, and other symptoms. And I can tell you it does get better with time, but it does take time. I too went to the emergency room multiple times, only to be told that there is nothing wrong with me. It's a lot to work out and can be tiring. So here are a few tips that i think might help. 1) watch a lot of comedies. All you are going through is going to be tough and wear you down, which will slowly erode your mental state. I suggest taking every opportunity to laugh. Its what got me through the hardest days. 2) try meditation. Keeping a clear mind is important, or at least it is for me. Meditation can help with that. Nothing too fancy, just find a comfortable quiet spot, take a seat, close your eyes and try to keep your mind clear of all thoguhts for 15-30 minutes a day. It will be hard at first, but like with all things, it will get easier with practice. 3) Arm yourself with knowledge. This one you are already doing or else you wouldn't be here. Arming yourself with knowledge is the best thing you can do to help fight the fears and anxieties you are dealing with. Educate yourself on withdrawl, on depression, on anxiety, and especially on the medicine you take. For me it took some of the fangs out of the beast. I wasn't so afraid of my symptoms if I knew the process of what I was experiencing. Plus I'm sure ther is an added benefit in keeping your brain occupied. I hope this list helps you in the months to come. I will not lie to you, it will probably be difficult. But take heart in knowing that it will get easier in time, and ther is light at the end of the tunnel. Yours sincerely, Grog Started taking Paxil 7 or 8 years ago. Wanted to get off, so doctor told me to take 1 pill every other day for a week, then 1 pill every 2 days for a week, then stop completely.
Bailey Posted January 2 Author Posted January 2 Because of my severe withdrawal symptoms, my sister came in got me and brought me to her home in a different state. She made an appointment with a psychiatrist through the local hospital system. We are both unfamiliar with this doctor. It's actually a virtual appt. today. Any thoughts or advice? I am terrible shape and desperately need help but not more harm from doctors. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator Emeritus Onmyway Posted January 2 Moderator Emeritus Posted January 2 Hi @Bailey I've merged your new intro topic. Pls do not start any new topics. Every member gets a single intro topic. You should post anything related to your case here. What do you expect from this doctor? S/he may deny your experience as many in the US do. Hope it goes well. Keep us updated. "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate
Bailey Posted January 2 Author Posted January 2 Thank you @Onmyway. Where do I post further things? I'm new and trying to figure things out but am so overwhelmed with acute symptoms. I'm not processing well. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator Emeritus Onmyway Posted January 2 Moderator Emeritus Posted January 2 Hi Bailey, right here is good. You can just type in the box under the last message here. I will be following your topic from now on. I may not be able to respond the same day but will do my best to respond promptly. Omw "Nothing so small as a moment is insurmountable, and moments are all that we have. You have survived every trial and tribulation that life has thrown at you up until this very instant. When future troubles come—and they will come—a version of you will be born into that moment that can conquer them, too." - Kevin Koenig I am not a doctor and this should not be considered medical advice. You can use the information and recommendations provided in whatever way you want and all decisions on your treatment are yours. In the next few weeks I do not have a lot of capacity to respond to questions. If you need a quick answer pls tag or ask other moderators who may want to be tagged. Aug 2000 - July 2003 (ct, 4-6 wk wd) , citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn, wellbutrin for a few months, trazodone prn Dec 2004 - July 2018 citalopram 20 mg, xanax prn (rarely used) Aug 2018 - citalopram 40 mg (self titrated up) September 2018 - January 2019 tapered citalopram - 40/30/20/10/5 no issues until a week after reaching 0 Feb 2019 0.25 xanax - 0.5/day (3 weeks) over to klonopin 0.25 once a day to manage severe wd March 6, reinstated citalopram 2.5 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 mg for sleep 2-3 times a week Apr 1st citalopram 2.0 mg (liquid), klonopin 0.25 once a week (off by 4/14/19- no tapering) citalopram (liquid) 4/14/19 -1.8 mg, 5/8/19 - 1.6 mg, 7/27/19 -1.5 mg, 8/15/19 - 1.35, 2/21/21 - 1.1 (smaller drops in between), 6/20/21 - 1.03 mg, 8/7/21- 1.025, 8/11/21 - 1.02, 8/15/21 - 1.015, 9/3/21 - 0.925 (fingers crossed!), 10/8/21 - 0.9, 10/18/21 - 0.875, 12/31/21 - 0.85, 1/7/22 - 0.825, 1/14/22 - 0.8, 1/22/22 - 0.785, 8/18/22 - 0.59, 12/15/2022 - 0.48, 2/15/22 - 0.43, 25/07/23 - 0.25 (mistake), 6/08/23 - 0.33mg Supplements: magnesium citrate and bi-glycinate
Bailey Posted January 2 Author Posted January 2 Thank you so much @Onmyway. I don't know what to expect from this doctor. I'm quite nervous. At the very least, I need to continue getting the liquid paxil I'm on so I can hopefully stabile. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 2 Moderator Posted January 2 Hi @Bailey Please be cautioned that doctors, especially psych doctors, are often misguided in their approach to handling antidepressant WD and will often try to prescribe more medications to correct the problem. However, what your CNS needs right now is stability, and this won't come from adding in more drugs. I thought a psych doctor would be more knowledgeable about the WD process since they prescribe these medications for a living, but I was sorely mistaken. The link below might help: 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, suggestions/comments are based on personal experiences. This is not medical advice. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's ***
Bailey Posted January 2 Author Posted January 2 Thank you @LotusRising, It's hard to feel like I'll ever be stable and it's tempting to try other things. I suspect they will make me much worse which is unimaginable but probable. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Bailey Posted January 2 Author Posted January 2 Update: Had doctor appt. and things went as you'd expect. She didn't listen to my withdrawal story and even asked questions a number of times that I had already answered. She wanted to switch meds and add meds even when I told her I was hypersensitive and couldn't tolerate that. She did agree to continue prescribing my meds, however. I do need that since I'm in a new state and didn't have a prescriber here. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 2 Moderator Posted January 2 @Bailey I'm glad you had the confidence to advocate for yourself. This is important and isn't always easy to do. And good she will prescribe, this is what you need. 2 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, suggestions/comments are based on personal experiences. This is not medical advice. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's ***
ForestLily Posted January 3 Posted January 3 Hi @Bailey your experience sounds quite similar to mine and I just want to share my support and let you know that many of us here have been in your shoes and understand what you're going through. I know it doesn't feel like it at the moment, but it will get better and you're doing the right thing to focus on stabilizing. I'm glad you found this site (I wish I'd found it sooner too, believe me)! The information shared here has been hands down the most helpful and consistently accurate that I've found. I switched to a liquid formula of Paxil as well, a bit later in my taper, and even making that change from tablet to liquid at the same dose took a while for my system to adjust to. Try to keep taking it one day at a time, or even one hour at a time or one breath at a time if needed. I don't know if this will help right now, but something I did in the early stages was to create a color-coded calendar (I made one in a spreadsheet, but a paper calendar would work too). I didn't feel up to tracking each symptom, so I just marked each day as red, yellow, or green. Red days were the absolute worst, yellow was not great but more manageable, and green I felt more or less "ok" for portions of the day. Most of the days were red at first, and in fact I think I actually created the calendar to demonstrate to my doctor that things were NOT GOOD, but later when I was convinced I wasn't making progress I looked back and saw the yellow gradually appear more often, then some greens, and it gave me a visual to show that I was in fact improving. You have support here, so please stay in touch and let us know how it's going! 1 2008-2014 paroxetine 20mg 2014 March to May paroxetine fast taper to 0, bad crash in November, reinstated 20mg 2014-2019 paroxetine 20mg 2019 paroxetine Sep 20mg Oct 15mg Nov 10mg; acute withdrawal - found this site and decided to hold at 10mg 2020 July 10mg Aug 9.5mg Sep 8.5mg Nov 7.6mg Dec 7mg; .25mg xanax and .25mg hydroxizine as needed 2021 paroxetine Jan 6.6mg Feb 6mg; .25mg xanax and .25mg hydroxyzine as needed, switched to a liquid suspension 2022-present continued to taper about 10% every 6 weeks, holding when needed, currently at 0.72mg; .25 Xanax maybe a few times a year, no alcohol since October 2023
Bailey Posted January 3 Author Posted January 3 @ForestLily Thank you so much for your encouraging words. Things are so debilitating right now and it's hard to imagine ever getting out of this dark place. I wake up shaking violently and in terror. Later in the day may or may not get better. If you had this, what did you do? I feel like I don't know how to keep going in this condition. Again, thank you for the encouragement. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
ForestLily Posted January 3 Posted January 3 @Bailey I'm so sorry you're going through this. I know it feels like it will never end and that you won't be able to cope, but that is not true. You will heal! Keep going! In my case, I didn't have the early morning cortisol spikes that a lot of people experience, but I did have extreme anxiety and panic for a while. I was working with an integrative psychiatrist for my taper (thought they would know how to taper the "right" way but they didn't - although it could have been worse), so I did take additional medication and supplements that they prescribed for anxiety. I was unaware at the time that adding additional medications and supplements could cause kindling or otherwise disrupt the nervous system healing process, and it's possible some of those things actually made it worse or protracted my withdrawal. I tried it all! EFT (tapping), meditation, walking, an app for anxiety (I'll try to find the name of it). Tapping was sometimes helpful - you can find videos on YouTube, Brad Yates is one. For me, a big thing was just convincing myself that what was happening was in fact withdrawal and not me losing my mind. It seems so obvious now, but it did not at the time. So I really immersed myself in research. I read Recovery and Renewal by Baylissa Frederick. I also found some validation in the documentary Medicating Normal. And forced my loved ones to watch it as well. 😆 Some resources on this site that might be helpful (moderators might have other suggestions!): Sudden fear, terror, panic, anxiety, or sensory overload from withdrawal Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms I hope something here might help at least a bit. I'll be thinking of you, and sending strength! 2008-2014 paroxetine 20mg 2014 March to May paroxetine fast taper to 0, bad crash in November, reinstated 20mg 2014-2019 paroxetine 20mg 2019 paroxetine Sep 20mg Oct 15mg Nov 10mg; acute withdrawal - found this site and decided to hold at 10mg 2020 July 10mg Aug 9.5mg Sep 8.5mg Nov 7.6mg Dec 7mg; .25mg xanax and .25mg hydroxizine as needed 2021 paroxetine Jan 6.6mg Feb 6mg; .25mg xanax and .25mg hydroxyzine as needed, switched to a liquid suspension 2022-present continued to taper about 10% every 6 weeks, holding when needed, currently at 0.72mg; .25 Xanax maybe a few times a year, no alcohol since October 2023
Bailey Posted January 3 Author Posted January 3 Thank you so much @ForestLily. I appreciate you. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Bailey Posted January 3 Author Posted January 3 @ForestLily I am looking at integrative psychiatrists right now in desperation. I know I can't handle supplements and really want to find someone who knows what they're doing. I'm in Virginia, too. Have you found anyone in VA or online that you'd recommend? I want to ask about who you might avoid but I know that's tricky. I'm currently looking at free range online. Others in Northern Va seem to be fully booked and not taking people. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
ForestLily Posted January 3 Posted January 3 @Bailey I remember coming across the Free Range Psychiatry in my search as well. I will PM you about the group I used. I am still seeing them, as they prescribe my liquid Paxil, and they're really not bad, so I don't want to disclose anything in the public forum to either recommend or avoid. Have you seen this post about recommended doctors? 1 2008-2014 paroxetine 20mg 2014 March to May paroxetine fast taper to 0, bad crash in November, reinstated 20mg 2014-2019 paroxetine 20mg 2019 paroxetine Sep 20mg Oct 15mg Nov 10mg; acute withdrawal - found this site and decided to hold at 10mg 2020 July 10mg Aug 9.5mg Sep 8.5mg Nov 7.6mg Dec 7mg; .25mg xanax and .25mg hydroxizine as needed 2021 paroxetine Jan 6.6mg Feb 6mg; .25mg xanax and .25mg hydroxyzine as needed, switched to a liquid suspension 2022-present continued to taper about 10% every 6 weeks, holding when needed, currently at 0.72mg; .25 Xanax maybe a few times a year, no alcohol since October 2023
Bailey Posted January 3 Author Posted January 3 Thanks @ForestLily. My friend saw the list recently and contacted two of the doctors in the area for me. They had no idea they were on the SA list and wondered why they were even on the list. Worth it to keep looking, though. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Bailey Posted January 3 Author Posted January 3 @Grog Thank you so much for your helpful and encouraging note. I look forward to being in a place where I can watch some comedy or watch anything. I haven't been able to watch or stream anything. For some reason, most everything is still overwhelming and agitating. But, I hope that time comes soon where I can do that and the other things you mention. I'm educating myself in bits and pieces as I'm able and do try to quiet myself as much as is possible right now. Thanks for the reminder that as impossible as it seems (and it does seem impossible in this moment), that things will get better. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 3 Moderator Posted January 3 7 hours ago, Bailey said: They had no idea they were on the SA list and wondered why they were even on the list. Do you know which doctors were contacted? We can certainly remove them to keep our list up to date 2 hours ago, Bailey said: I haven't been able to watch or stream anything. For some reason, most everything is still overwhelming and agitating. But, I hope that time comes soon where I can do that and the other things you mention. I had to avoid TV and most music for quite some time, but shortly after I came to the site, someone gave me this link and I honestly listened to it over and over. It was very calming. You might give it a try if you feel up to it. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, suggestions/comments are based on personal experiences. This is not medical advice. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's ***
Bailey Posted January 4 Author Posted January 4 @LotusRising Thank you for this video. I'll definitely give it a try. I really want things for distraction. The time goes so slowly. It's hard in this state to find things that I can focus on and not be overwhelmed by. As for doctors, Eric Taswell, MD in DC said he was not sure why he's on the list and he's also not taking patients. I'd have to check the other name. Thank you so much. 1 Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Bailey Posted January 5 Author Posted January 5 I wake up in terror and convulsing (though it's not a seizure), electricity shooting through my body. Limbs moving involuntarily and inability to walk correctly. This morning has been exceptionally bad. It's been 5 hours. I've tried to exercise and even went outside for a sort-of walk to try to let out whatever is happening. I don't know what to do. I'm trapped inside a body I can't get out of. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Bailey Posted January 5 Author Posted January 5 @LotusRising A holistic doctor has recommended I take fish oil and high doses of magnesium, and l-Theanine. I'm incredibly hyper sensitive right now. Also, even under normal circumstances I can only take small amounts of what other people can tolerate. He said I really need to do the high amount of magnesium for the severe symptoms I'm experiencing. I'm pretty scared to try this. Thoughts? I'm greatly struggling today and have bad akathisia. I'm in a place of terror. I can't think clearly and am so overwhelmed. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
Moderator LotusRising Posted January 5 Moderator Posted January 5 @Bailey Omega 3's and magnesium are really the only supplements we recommend. What does he mean by a high dose? Did you tell him you're sensitive? Here's the info we have on supplements: Omega 3 Magnesium If you decide to take supplements, I suggest starting only one at a time and working your way up to a full dose. For reassurance, I take both omega 3 and magnesium and did not have an issue with either, but I know some members do. 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods 2010-2011 Ativan 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, suggestions/comments are based on personal experiences. This is not medical advice. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's ***
Bailey Posted January 5 Author Posted January 5 @LotusRising 800mg of magnesium glycinate and 1200mg of l-Theanine (400mg x 3) and 2 capsules of fish oil but no amount specified for that one. Also CBD. Yes, I told him I was sensitive and in a hypersensitive state as well. Paxil Reductions: December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventional doc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Doctor switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interfering with sleep and causing other side effects. May 23, 2024 - cross taper from mfr. liquid paroxetine to capsule form begun. 5ml liquid + 5 mg capsule (in place of 7.5ml dose of liquid). New doctor (deprescribing type) felt strongly that the mfr. liquid was/is an issue. June 11: 2.5ml liquid + 10mg capsule. June 16, 2024: fully on the capsules now, no liquid. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg; June 17 2024 : switched to magnesium citrate CALM powder to hopefully get things moving; Aug. 10, 2024 - switched back to magnesium glycinate and taking 200mg
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