savinggrace Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 Bailey, I feel suicidal almost all the time...in other words...if I die right now that would the best thing that could happen. I would never go to the hospital because I would likely be given more or different drugs and/or just strapped in a bed to suffer. Also the worst outcome for me would be a failure for my suicide attempt to work...forcing hospitalization and losing control over what happens to me. Working through the strong urge to harm yourself is so very hard; they are the longest days I have to endure. If I have any energy at all, I force myself to distract myself with mindless projects that just take time or mindless tv, etc. Sometimes my very very worst day is miraculously followed by a much better day. I always tell myself that "tomorrow will be better" and it usually is. Meanwhile, do you know that you are responding well to your hormones, especially testosterone? I may have needed it at the time, many years ago, but the first day I took it I was up the entire night. My body read it as a stimulant. I have steered clear of hormone therapy, even though my blood work has always indicated a need, because it always de-stabilized me further. Food for thought. Tomorrow will be better, Grace 1 amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-present tapered trileptal aggressively for a year; now intermittently; interacts w/ other drugs currently 2024 still on 96 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. Current dose of diazepam is 8.8 and valium is 5.7. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 14 Author Share Posted February 14 4 minutes ago, savinggrace said: Bailey, I feel suicidal almost all the time...in other words...if I die right now that would the best thing that could happen. I would never go to the hospital because I would likely be given more or different drugs and/or just strapped in a bed to suffer. Also the worst outcome for me would be a failure for my suicide attempt to work...forcing hospitalization and losing control over what happens to me. Working through the strong urge to harm yourself is so very hard; they are the longest days I have to endure. If I have any energy at all, I force myself to distract myself with mindless projects that just take time or mindless tv, etc. Sometimes my very very worst day is miraculously followed by a much better day. I always tell myself that "tomorrow will be better" and it usually is. I know that my wanting to go to the hospital is somewhat irrational because they can't really help me there.They'll urge me to go inpatient and that, to me, seems like a fate worse than death. I would feel much worse with the meds they would foist on me. I was thinking of the ER as a holding place while I'm not safe and not as an entry to admittance. At least in my most desperate, acute times that's what I'm thinking. My brain is both telling me to seek help and/or to make it all stop somehow. The akathisia can be insane and I'm often convulsing with it, my limbs are going different directions and I also feel like I'm internally vibrating or being electrocuted. I'm trying to learn how to endure through it and hold onto hope for the future, that it won't always be like this. 4 minutes ago, savinggrace said: Meanwhile, do you know that you are responding well to your hormones, especially testosterone? I may have needed it at the time, many years ago, but the first day I took it I was up the entire night. My body read it as a stimulant. I have steered clear of hormone therapy, even though my blood work has always indicated a need, because it always de-stabilized me further. Food for thought. Tomorrow will be better, Grace I so wish I weren't on HRT. A functional medicine doctor put me on it before the bottom dropped out. I've reduced it quite a bit and am at a much lower dose than prescribed. However, I'm now holding steady instead of dropping it altogether because I fear making myself much worse by going cold turkey on the cream. I'm trying to give my nervous system a chance to stabilize by keeping everything the same after so much upheaval with the too-drastic (doctor directed) drop in Paxil. It's basically a survival strategy at this point rather than wanting to continue with it. Once I stabilize, I'm going to wean off HRT altogether. Thanks so much, @savinggrace. I appreciate you. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
savinggrace Posted February 14 Share Posted February 14 Oh, Bailey. I am so sorry. I am tortured by severe, disabling spinal/hip pain, so although it is not akathisia, I know what the torture of being helpless to end it feels like. My son just recently got off of all anti-pyschotics; he had been on various "cocktails" for a year. They gave him the worst akathisia. The akathisia is getting better as time goes on...it will for you too. In fact, the reason I ended up on benzos is 21 years ago I had restless leg syndrome so bad I felt like I was going to kill myself. My psych put me on klonopin and the restless legs went away, but what a price I paid! If only we had a do-over. I am not sure (at least at my ER) that if I went in suicidal they would just hold me in the ER...I was in the ER with severe COVID a month ago and there was no room for holding suicidal patients. My worry about admitting myself is losing all control about what happens to me and there is no predicting what that might be. When it comes to perceived mental illness (or withdrawal) there is so much misinformation about what to do, and really no answers so you are at the mercy of whomever your doctor is. I agree that you don't want to upset the applecart now by making any changes. I was just sharing that the hormones may be a piece of the big puzzle. Each individual hormone is one of the pieces as in anything you ingest, food or supplements or medicine. Does a hot shower/cold shower/brisk walk help the akathisia? Gosh, it's a terrible thing. I just had to make another change (in dose) from brand name to generic. 2 weeks later, with only .3 change in dose, like a cross-over, my body is starting to settle down. I didn't taper anything...just working on brand-generic cross-over. Oh, how I wish I could go back many decades and see the future and re-write it. Stay here, Bailey. I know you don't want to but it will get better. Nobody can tell you when. I hope you have at least one supportive person in your life. Grace amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-present tapered trileptal aggressively for a year; now intermittently; interacts w/ other drugs currently 2024 still on 96 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. Current dose of diazepam is 8.8 and valium is 5.7. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 15 Author Share Posted February 15 @savinggrace Yes, if we could only go back and see the future. We were following our doctors' instructions. I'm sorry to hear you had such an awful case of COVID. I hope you're feeling better. And I agree that WD is not understood and the treatment for people like us is dangerous at best. I'm glad to her your son's akathisia is getting better with time. I think mine will lessen, too. Not soon enough, of course. Thank you for the encouragement. Oh, and you asked about support. I do have a very supportive sister who is my strong advocate. I'm very thankful to have her in my corner. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 16 Author Share Posted February 16 @LotusRising OK, I'm ready to start the castor oil pack tonight. How much oil did you use initially? I want to start out conservatively given how hypersensitive I am to everything. Did you drizzle it around the pack/cloth? I bought the Queen of Thrones castor oil but decided to go with a different, less expensive organic cotton flannel castor cloth during this trial period. If it goes well, I'll upgrade. 2 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 16 Moderator Share Posted February 16 I use 1T and drizzle it in the middle of the pack. You can be conservative by only leaving it on for 15 minutes at a time to start. Heat is supposed to help absorption and I use a warm cloth afterward to remove the oil. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 16 Author Share Posted February 16 9 minutes ago, LotusRising said: I use 1T and drizzle it in the middle of the pack. You can be conservative by only leaving it on for 15 minutes at a time to start. Heat is supposed to help absorption and I use a warm cloth afterward to remove the oil. Thank you, @LotusRising. 1 tablespoon/1T sounds good. I'll give it a 15 minute go tonight with a heating pad. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 17 Author Share Posted February 17 23 hours ago, Bailey said: Thank you, @LotusRising. 1 tablespoon/1T sounds good. I'll give it a 15 minute go tonight with a heating pad. @LotusRising OK, so the castor oil experiment has gone awry. I did it for only 15 minutes with heat and washed the oil off afterwards. I thought I was OK and then developed a lot of pain within an hour. I'm still in a lot of pain 18 hours later and have akathisia (head, neck and torso jerking). Another example of hypersensitive reaction? I seem to be very good at those. Yet another time that I try to help myself and it massively backfires. I'm not sure what to do, if I should go to the ER or wait it out. I know you can't say necessarily. It seems like I can't catch a break. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Xcaretuk Posted February 17 Share Posted February 17 4 hours ago, Bailey said: @LotusRising OK, so the castor oil experiment has gone awry. I did it for only 15 minutes with heat and washed the oil off afterwards. I thought I was OK and then developed a lot of pain within an hour. I'm still in a lot of pain 18 hours later and have akathisia (head, neck and torso jerking). Another example of hypersensitive reaction? I seem to be very good at those. Yet another time that I try to help myself and it massively backfires. I'm not sure what to do, if I should go to the ER or wait it out. I know you can't say necessarily. It seems like I can't catch a break. That’s a shame Bailey. Sorry can’t help with any advice with the castor oil packs but I am thinking the pain may wear off in time. Our bodies are so sensitive at this time. Just wanted to say I am thinking of you, keep hanging in. Things will improve… 1 1998(approx.) 20mg Paroxetine, 1998 -2015 various unsuccessful tapers, 2015 app 6 month taper to 0, 2015 approx 6 months later reinstated original brand after debilitating neurological delayed WD symptoms. Made worse after surgery.2023 Famotidine, Cetirizine, New Generic, muscle relaxer. March/April19th June, 2023 - 23rd July, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 20mg to 15mg (on 15mg for 35 days), no significant symptoms. 24th July, 2023 - 26th July, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 15mg to 12.5mg (on 12.5mg for 3 days), no significant symptoms. 27th July, 2023 - 3rd September, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 12.5mg to 10mg (on 10mg for 39 days), no significant symptoms. 4th September, 2023 - 15th September, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 10mg to 5mg i.e. 10mg every other day (on 5mg for 12 days), although not noted, must have experienced some symptoms, as I decided to return to previous 10mg dosage on the 16th September. 16th September, 2023 - 25th November, 2023: Dosage increased from 5mg to 10mg i.e. 10mg every day (on 10mg for 71 days), symptoms start dates: Late September sweating, shaking and right side upper back pain., 5th October 23: Upper back pain worsening,21st Oct 23: Night time symptoms: insomnia, nausea, sweats, headaches, some anxiety (predominantly in the mornings)27th Oct 23 admitted to hospital with 1st hypertensive crisis with severe frontal headache (now suspected of withdrawal ) BP 225/115. Admitted twice more with high BP . Doctors at a loss for cause. Given anti nausea, anti anxiety and sleeping tabs in hospital. . 1st Nov 23: , heart palpitations, some anxiety.. 7th Nov 23: Anxiety was now becoming more frequent (not severe). 26th November, 2023 Dosage increased from 10mg to 20mg possibly first time taking 20 mg of Extine, new manufacturer. 3rd Dec 23 - 18th Dec, 23: Started taking 7.5mg - 15mg of Oxazepam when anxiety became unbearable only took 8 in total now stopped. Symptoms now more severe have head pain rather than headache. .Electrical shocks through body overnight accompanied by head pain. Sheer terror,. Sore eyes. 23rd Dec 23: All symptoms remain the same i.e. severe except for the last 2 days where my anxiety levels have not been as severe/ extreme and somewhat manageable (later in the day).22 Jan 24 Have some windows now but still suffering from all day head pain, upper back pain, waking up inner restlessness and terror , nausea, intermittent feelings of fear and wake up 12.30 am every morning and sometimes up to 3 times a night with weird tingling down arms and back, pounding heart head pain and nausea. 2nd March 24, head pain/eye pain everyday and all day and & night wake ups.. Mild Akathisia early morning,, upper back pain, sweats. Anxiety much better. 21st April 24, drop 2.25% drop to 19.5 mg to test help with head /eye nerve pain and new symptom tinnitus. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 18 Moderator Share Posted February 18 20 hours ago, Bailey said: OK, so the castor oil experiment has gone awry. Shoot, are you certain it's from the castor oil pack? 20 hours ago, Bailey said: I thought I was OK and then developed a lot of pain within an hour. I'm still in a lot of pain 18 hours later and have akathisia (head, neck and torso jerking). Are these all new symptoms, or symptoms you've experienced before? How are you now?? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 18 Author Share Posted February 18 49 minutes ago, LotusRising said: Shoot, are you certain it's from the castor oil pack? Are these all new symptoms, or symptoms you've experienced before? How are you now?? @LotusRising Yeah, it was the castor oil pack and these intense symptoms (the abdominal pain) were new to me. I'm too hypersensitive for castor oil, it appears. I was able to talk with my doctor this morning and she said she's not surprised that the castor oil pack impacted me because castor oil causes contractions, even transdermally, and sent my intestines into a state. She said castor oil is used sometimes to jump start labor contractions. She said the oil is certainly a popular remedy for constipation and works for many but that my system is too sensitive for it. She’s having me drink ginger and fennel tea this morning to see if things calm down. I think it's helping. By the way, a while back you had mentioned trying a pediatric dose of acetaminophen (Tylenol) before going with the adult version. I bought some children's Genexa acetaminophen to have on hand right after that and it got me through the night last night. I'm glad you had mentioned that. Genexa bills itself as a clean medicine company that leaves out that doesn't use the artificial ingredients that other brands use. I just learned of it. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 18 Moderator Share Posted February 18 Darn, that's too bad. I'm sorry you had that reaction. It was quite helpful for me. But yes, it sounds like you are still just too sensitive. I'm glad the baby dose of tylenol helped you through it. I had to use baby doses for a while as well after having a strange reaction to the adult dose. I'm happy to hear things are settling. Did she have other recommendations for the GI symptoms you're dealing with? You were having trouble with constipation I think? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 18 Author Share Posted February 18 7 minutes ago, LotusRising said: Did she have other recommendations for the GI symptoms you're dealing with? You were having trouble with constipation I think? @LotusRising Unfortunately no answers for eliminating. I'm too sensitive to take anything like senna leaf/senokot. I've tried several dietary measures she thought might work -- leafy greens, extra virgin olive oil, drinking lots of warm water, frozen blueberries for the fiber (also the nutrition and low sugar contents) but nothing has made a difference. I've always had trouble in this area but now things are at a total standstill. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 18 Author Share Posted February 18 19 hours ago, Xcaretuk said: Just wanted to say I am thinking of you, keep hanging in. Things will improve… Thank you so much @Xcaretuk 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
savinggrace Posted February 19 Share Posted February 19 Bailey, Have you tried ground flax seed for your constipation. I struggled daily with severe constipation until I tried ground flax. (Important to grind it right before eating) I make muffins with ground flax and oatmeal and eat 2-3/ day. It keeps things moving. I have gastroparesis and IBS. I also cannot touch dairy as it greatly constipates me. Grace 2 amitriptyline from 1980-2002, intermittent use of benzos over 2 decades prior to 2002 2002-2010 Klonopin 1-2 mg., ambien 10--20, mg, remeron 4 mg. and trileptal 300 mg 2011 Stopped ambien and crossed over to valium 17.5 mg. (updosing 2.5 mg. to cover ambien C/T ) tapered valium w/ long holds to 12.74 mg. from a high of approximately 20-30 mg/day 2015-present tapered trileptal aggressively for a year; now intermittently; interacts w/ other drugs currently 2024 still on 96 mg. trileptal and 4 mg. remeron Currently on benzo hold as I have to cross-over from brand-name valium to generic diazepam. Current dose of diazepam is 8.8 and valium is 5.7. I had to up-dose the total valium/diazepam from 12.74 to 14.5 where I have stayed since June 2023. I am crossing over to generic at a somewhat tolerable rate of .3mg/month after about 2 months of trial/error w/ updosing. I am not currently tapering; will continue to cross over. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 19 Author Share Posted February 19 1 hour ago, savinggrace said: Bailey, Have you tried ground flax seed for your constipation. I struggled daily with severe constipation until I tried ground flax. (Important to grind it right before eating) I make muffins with ground flax and oatmeal and eat 2-3/ day. It keeps things moving. I have gastroparesis and IBS. I also cannot touch dairy as it greatly constipates me. Grace Thank you for the tip. I'm glad something has worked for you. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 19 Moderator Share Posted February 19 How are you doing today @Bailey? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 20 Author Share Posted February 20 16 hours ago, LotusRising said: How are you doing today @Bailey? I think my gut is getting better from the castor oil pack, which likely caused my intestines to cramp up in my hypersensitive state. Still a little bit crampy today but hopefully it'll all get worked out. Thank you so much for checking. The fresh ginger-fennel tea has been surprisingly soothing and pain relieving. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 21 Author Share Posted February 21 @LotusRising I need help getting out of a panic/terror loop. I have to switch to the new hormone replacement cream. Some U.S. FDA rule made everyone switch to a new carrier cream. The pharmacist said she had to rewrite the formula. I started the switch yesterday and have been panicking ever since. I'm so sensitive to little shifts and don't know how much more horror and torment I can endure if things get worse. Things are already so extreme and I'm already destabilized. I didn't sleep and keep getting life ending images in my mind. I don't know how to change the script in my mind and body. My routine is to put a dab of cream on 3x a day and I am going to start with replacing just one of the dabs each day this week and keeping the old cream for the 2 dabs. Had I known anything about what was to come, I wouldn’t have agreed to this cream. It was because of significant muscle weakness that a functional medicine doctor put me on it. I had been to my family doctor and a neurologist, too. This was before the withdrawal bottom dropped out I thought I was doing something positive for my health. But now I know it's put me in more jeopardy. I also now know that the weakness is from the Paxil. I wish I could simply stop the cream but I'm too afraid to mess with hormones in this fragile state. And I don't know how to stop the panic about it all right now. This wasn't even my pattern before withdrawal but now I'm paralyzed with fear. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Comfyquilt Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Hi @Bailey I’m sorry I don’t know anything about the cream. Just wanted to let you know I am rooting for you. I hope things calm down and stability is heading your way. 1 Aug-Oct 2018 - 22 doses of Ativan (0.25 mg) stopped CT .Nov 2018 - Zoplicone 7.5 mg (stopped CT Dec 18) .Dec 2018 - 5mg Valium (tapered to 0.25 mg felt good so stayed on this dose for a long time) .Dec 2021 - Pregabalin one week CT .Jan 2022- Mirtazapine 3.75 mg, 2 weeks then 2 week taper. Updose Valium to 15 mg .June 2022 - 10mg Valium, currently tapering March 2022-Dec 2023 - Tapered 13mg over 19 months down to 1.5 mg. Nov 2023 made error with liquid and solid dose. Updosed by 60% by accident. Dec 2023 - 1.5 mg Valium Feb 2023- 4mg Valium, 400mg Gabapentin. 1.5 mg Mirtazapine (discontinued after short taper) Link to comment
laura77 Posted February 21 Share Posted February 21 Hi @Bailey, so sorry to hear what you're going through. I wondered if you thought the Xanax might be playing a role (tolerance?). x 2019-2022: Sporadic valium abuse, not prescribed, usually not more than once a month or 2. July 2022: Terrible withdrawal symptoms after ONE high dose (only had 2 other doses that year) of around 100mg. I may be mistaken as I got covid 2 weeks after this high dose. Initially thought symptoms were covid, later doctors and charities said it was the valium which I'd started taking 10mg 2-3 times a week after the covid positive test. Went on it daily in Sept to get off it. From this time it was prescribed. Yo-yoed around different doses as now no dose was working. Kindled. Finally tapered from 30mg. Was already unstable on 30mg, shaking, screaming, aka, extreme chemical anxiety June 2023: 0mg valium after rushing taper. Still in hell. July 2023: 50mg trazodone Sept 2023: 50mg trazodone and 30mg mirtazapine. Life is unbearable, do not know how I'm alive Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 21 Author Share Posted February 21 35 minutes ago, laura77 said: Hi @Bailey, so sorry to hear what you're going through. I wondered if you thought the Xanax might be playing a role (tolerance?). x Thank you @laura77. I don't think so based on history but of course can't say for sure. Adding that to the issue I've raised (getting out of a terror spiral) is not going to serve me well in this moment. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 21 Moderator Share Posted February 21 5 hours ago, Bailey said: My routine is to put a dab of cream on 3x a day and I am going to start with replacing just one of the dabs each day this week and keeping the old cream for the 2 dabs. I definitely think it's a good idea to replace one dab at a time. It's easy to assume the worst and get panicky with change, but sometimes nothing at all happens! If you have to change the cream, you have to change it, but I think you've made a very reasonable decision to do it slowly. Different things work for different people. When panic creeps up for me, I remind myself it's a feeling that will pass and it can't hurt me. If I can change that script and then distract myself by going for a walk, that seems to help. It's important to remember and accept that these feelings will pop up from time to time, but it ALWAYS passes ❤️ Have you heard of Claire Weekes? This post has some info. I know everything feels raw and magnified in withdrawal, but it really will get better. I think you mentioned your sister is a support person for you? Have you reached out to her? 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 23 Author Share Posted February 23 On 2/21/2024 at 2:07 PM, LotusRising said: Have you heard of Claire Weekes? This post has some info. I know everything feels raw and magnified in withdrawal, but it really will get better. I think you mentioned your sister is a support person for you? Have you reached out to her? Agreed, everything is huge and terrifying in WD, especially things that could possibly make you feel even worse. It's also hard to avoid/get out of looping fears, especially in the wee hours of the morning. Thank you for the Claire Weekes info. I did a very quick skim. When I'm more able to read/watch YouTube, I will look at it. As always, thank you for your encouragement. I truly appreciate you. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Comfyquilt Posted February 23 Share Posted February 23 @Bailey thinking of you and sending big hugs your way. It’s so hard to be in the terror loop, sometimes a bath and warm tea can help or simply wrapping up like burrito and having someone hug you. I’m so sorry for your suffering. I hope this all eases soon 💖 1 Aug-Oct 2018 - 22 doses of Ativan (0.25 mg) stopped CT .Nov 2018 - Zoplicone 7.5 mg (stopped CT Dec 18) .Dec 2018 - 5mg Valium (tapered to 0.25 mg felt good so stayed on this dose for a long time) .Dec 2021 - Pregabalin one week CT .Jan 2022- Mirtazapine 3.75 mg, 2 weeks then 2 week taper. Updose Valium to 15 mg .June 2022 - 10mg Valium, currently tapering March 2022-Dec 2023 - Tapered 13mg over 19 months down to 1.5 mg. Nov 2023 made error with liquid and solid dose. Updosed by 60% by accident. Dec 2023 - 1.5 mg Valium Feb 2023- 4mg Valium, 400mg Gabapentin. 1.5 mg Mirtazapine (discontinued after short taper) Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 27 Author Share Posted February 27 @LotusRisingI know you can't recommend things but I'm wondering about experiences with the following: Experience (what you've gleaned from this site) with antihistamines (for WD acute symptoms), magnesium infusions, NAD infusions (or patch) or even ketamine lozenges? They terrify me, but I'm barely hanging on to life and my doctor is recommending these measures. I am close to unaliving myself or taking myself to the hospital where they would surely put me in psych. Through the night last night I was thinking of taking life ending measures or calling 911. I'm also wondering about experience with beta blockers as an emergency measure. I'm stuck in a terror and akathisia loop (so much bodily movement in addition to the internal stuff) and need something to disrupt this or I'm afraid I'll follow through with the worst. A complicating factor is that my doctor had me stop my HRT cream b/c she thinks it's probably activating (estrogen and testosterone). I don't know if stopping is causing impact or if it's the terror of the possible effect of stoping or combination of both. I just know that things are really bad and I can't see my way out. I've tried all sorts of distraction, exercise, breath work, etc. Things are haywire and extreme. With these extreme, never-ending, and relentless symptoms, the common (valid) encouragements on this site to hang in there b/c this will pass are difficult for me to take hold of. I feel like I need more concrete steps and strategies to stay alive. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted February 27 Mentor Share Posted February 27 @Bailey, while you wait to hear back from @LotusRising, I just want to encourage you to keep hanging in there. What you're experiencing is not going to last forever. I am including a list of resources that are given through the Akathisia Alliance website. I hope they will help you to hang in there. https://akathisiaalliance.org/resources/ Hugs...Catina ❤️ 1 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 27 Author Share Posted February 27 Thank you @Catina7. I never actually know who to include in my tags and I appreciate you responding. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Belajazi Posted February 27 Share Posted February 27 1 hour ago, Bailey said: @LotusRisingI know you can't recommend things but I'm wondering about experiences with the following: Experience (what you've gleaned from this site) with antihistamines (for WD acute symptoms), magnesium infusions, NAD infusions (or patch) or even ketamine lozenges? They terrify me, but I'm barely hanging on to life and my doctor is recommending these measures. I am close to unaliving myself or taking myself to the hospital where they would surely put me in psych. Through the night last night I was thinking of taking life ending measures or calling 911. I'm also wondering about experience with beta blockers as an emergency measure. I'm stuck in a terror and akathisia loop (so much bodily movement in addition to the internal stuff) and need something to disrupt this . @Bailey have you tried anything for akathisia??? Propanolol did nothing for me. But every individual response differently I am also barely surviving. Just hang in there . Lots of prayers.🙏 Watch living under chemical influence blog where a guy cole bear akathisia 7 years ,5 tapering years with akathisia and 2 years after cessation now he is akathisia free. I am bearly surviving.when i am hopeless i just watch his vidoes. I know it is very difficult but we can't do nothing just Patience and prayers. 1 . 2018 took prozac olanzapine for only 3 months . 2021 took paxil 12.5mg and xanax for year.2023 in july took prozac 25mg and olanzapine 3mg for only 3 days cause akathisia . july 2023 took sertalline 100mg and olanzapine 2.5mg for a month cause ocd and akathisia . august 2023 took lexapro 5mg only for 2 days cz extreme akathisia .August 2023 took paxil Cr 12.5mg cause agitation and kolonopin 0.5mg. october 2023 cut pill haf6.25mg .December 2023 cut 1/4 (3.125mg) coated pill as per psy advice.last December quit cold turkey after 7 days then reinstate(3.125mg).January 2024 contine 3.1mg paxil cr .january 5 -2024 as per psy took pill 3.125mg at other day(skiping days) for 15d. January 20-2024 skiping dose at gap of two days . feb 5-2024 1/4 of paxil cr 3.125 and kolonopin continue 0.5mg also taking pregabalin 100mg from September 2023 till now 10-feb-2024: switch to home-made 1ml paxil solution. +0.5mg k+100mg pregabalin Akathisia, depression, anxiety,throat choking, extreme fear,physical pains. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted February 27 Mentor Share Posted February 27 (edited) 1 hour ago, Bailey said: Thank you @Catina7. I never actually know who to include in my tags and I appreciate you responding. You're very welcome. I didn't want to step on LotusRising's toes, but I wasn't sure when she'd be available to respond. From my own experience and time spent on this site, one thing I have learned is that the best "cures" are simply TIME and PATIENCE. If there were a miracle cure that worked for everyone, then you'd better believe the site would be telling it to the world. Edited February 27 by Catina7 2 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Administrator KenA Posted February 27 Administrator Share Posted February 27 Keep hanging in there @Bailey I know it's scary, but just remember that "This too shall pass" Everything you are experiencing is just temporary and will pass at some point! Like @Catina7 said, time and patience are the keys to this. Also try distraction if you can. That's what helped me a lot. Distracting to pass the time and keep my mind from focusing on the symptoms. You can do this! 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted February 27 Mentor Share Posted February 27 @Bailey, if you're able to I want you to listen to this supportive meditation that is narrated by Chris Paige. He endured akathisia for a long time and is now fully recovered. I hope it will give you some comfort and hope. PLEASE don't give up! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wHuwGnc1F9A 1 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Xcaretuk Posted February 27 Share Posted February 27 8 hours ago, Bailey said: @LotusRisingI know you can't recommend things but I'm wondering about experiences with the following: Experience (what you've gleaned from this site) with antihistamines (for WD acute symptoms), magnesium infusions, NAD infusions (or patch) or even ketamine lozenges? They terrify me, but I'm barely hanging on to life and my doctor is recommending these measures. I am close to unaliving myself or taking myself to the hospital where they would surely put me in psych. Through the night last night I was thinking of taking life ending measures or calling 911. I'm also wondering about experience with beta blockers as an emergency measure. I'm stuck in a terror and akathisia loop (so much bodily movement in addition to the internal stuff) and need something to disrupt this or I'm afraid I'll follow through with the worst. A complicating factor is that my doctor had me stop my HRT cream b/c she thinks it's probably activating (estrogen and testosterone). I don't know if stopping is causing impact or if it's the terror of the possible effect of stoping or combination of both. I just know that things are really bad and I can't see my way out. I've tried all sorts of distraction, exercise, breath work, etc. Things are haywire and extreme. With these extreme, never-ending, and relentless symptoms, the common (valid) encouragements on this site to hang in there b/c this will pass are difficult for me to take hold of. I feel like I need more concrete steps and strategies to stay alive. Oh Bailey this really is an awful time for you and the terror is so acute it feels unbearable I know. I have had those thoughts about unliving myself like many of us have had (never had them before withdrawal) I stopped my progesterone cream and tablets in withdrawal (was told to by a DR who was treating me for a suspected PE, which I didn’t have in the end) and for me I believe it didn’t have much impact. Catina7 has come up with good suggestions and I am sure one of the Mods will be able to help. Please hang in there. @LostInCanada 1 1998(approx.) 20mg Paroxetine, 1998 -2015 various unsuccessful tapers, 2015 app 6 month taper to 0, 2015 approx 6 months later reinstated original brand after debilitating neurological delayed WD symptoms. Made worse after surgery.2023 Famotidine, Cetirizine, New Generic, muscle relaxer. March/April19th June, 2023 - 23rd July, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 20mg to 15mg (on 15mg for 35 days), no significant symptoms. 24th July, 2023 - 26th July, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 15mg to 12.5mg (on 12.5mg for 3 days), no significant symptoms. 27th July, 2023 - 3rd September, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 12.5mg to 10mg (on 10mg for 39 days), no significant symptoms. 4th September, 2023 - 15th September, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 10mg to 5mg i.e. 10mg every other day (on 5mg for 12 days), although not noted, must have experienced some symptoms, as I decided to return to previous 10mg dosage on the 16th September. 16th September, 2023 - 25th November, 2023: Dosage increased from 5mg to 10mg i.e. 10mg every day (on 10mg for 71 days), symptoms start dates: Late September sweating, shaking and right side upper back pain., 5th October 23: Upper back pain worsening,21st Oct 23: Night time symptoms: insomnia, nausea, sweats, headaches, some anxiety (predominantly in the mornings)27th Oct 23 admitted to hospital with 1st hypertensive crisis with severe frontal headache (now suspected of withdrawal ) BP 225/115. Admitted twice more with high BP . Doctors at a loss for cause. Given anti nausea, anti anxiety and sleeping tabs in hospital. . 1st Nov 23: , heart palpitations, some anxiety.. 7th Nov 23: Anxiety was now becoming more frequent (not severe). 26th November, 2023 Dosage increased from 10mg to 20mg possibly first time taking 20 mg of Extine, new manufacturer. 3rd Dec 23 - 18th Dec, 23: Started taking 7.5mg - 15mg of Oxazepam when anxiety became unbearable only took 8 in total now stopped. Symptoms now more severe have head pain rather than headache. .Electrical shocks through body overnight accompanied by head pain. Sheer terror,. Sore eyes. 23rd Dec 23: All symptoms remain the same i.e. severe except for the last 2 days where my anxiety levels have not been as severe/ extreme and somewhat manageable (later in the day).22 Jan 24 Have some windows now but still suffering from all day head pain, upper back pain, waking up inner restlessness and terror , nausea, intermittent feelings of fear and wake up 12.30 am every morning and sometimes up to 3 times a night with weird tingling down arms and back, pounding heart head pain and nausea. 2nd March 24, head pain/eye pain everyday and all day and & night wake ups.. Mild Akathisia early morning,, upper back pain, sweats. Anxiety much better. 21st April 24, drop 2.25% drop to 19.5 mg to test help with head /eye nerve pain and new symptom tinnitus. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted February 28 Moderator Share Posted February 28 Hi @Bailey, 9 hours ago, Bailey said: Experience (what you've gleaned from this site) with antihistamines (for WD acute symptoms), magnesium infusions, NAD infusions (or patch) or even ketamine lozenges? They terrify me, but I'm barely hanging on to life and my doctor is recommending these measures. I was terrified to put anything into my body too, but I did try a beta blocker for a short time without much luck. I know they work for others though and people do seem to get relief from antihistamines as well. For what symptoms were they suggested? I would be hesitant about anything going directly into my bloodstream, so infusions would be a no for me and I've not heard anything good about ketamine. Have you tried searching the site? There may be others that have tried them and had a positive experience. If you try the beta blocker or the antihistamine, I would start with a small dose to test the waters. 9 hours ago, Bailey said: Things are haywire and extreme. With these extreme, never-ending, and relentless symptoms, the common (valid) encouragements on this site to hang in there b/c this will pass are difficult for me to take hold of. I feel like I need more concrete steps and strategies to stay alive. Yes, I hear you. I remember feeling this way too. It's a scary place to be, but I really do believe it will get better for you on the other side of this ❤️ I still want to encourage you to dig really deep, deeper than you ever have, to find the strength to keep going. Have you read through any of the success stories lately Success Stories What are you most looking forward to when this journey becomes more manageable? Do you have any future plans, or things you want to accomplish? This kept me going many times. I knew there had to me more than the awful mess of symptoms. We're here for you. Please keep reaching out ❤️ 2 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted February 28 Mentor Share Posted February 28 Hi @Bailey, how are you doing? Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 28 Author Share Posted February 28 11 minutes ago, Catina7 said: Hi @Bailey, how are you doing? Hard. I've been up since 3am. I'm on the east coast, USA where it's almost 9am. It felt like something was exploding within me. I haven't stopped moving. I've ridden the recumbent bike, jumped and run around the basement, screamed, yelled, gone walking, constant walking around the house. Still convulsing badly with head, neck and torso jerking. Terror on the inside. Thanks for checking. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
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