Mentor Catina7 Posted February 28 Mentor Share Posted February 28 19 minutes ago, Bailey said: Hard. I've been up since 3am. I'm on the east coast, USA where it's almost 9am. It felt like something was exploding within me. I haven't stopped moving. I've ridden the recumbent bike, jumped and run around the basement, screamed, yelled, gone walking, constant walking around the house. Still convulsing badly with head, neck and torso jerking. Terror on the inside. Thanks for checking. I'm on the East Coast too. What you're going through no human should have to endure, but others have been there and come through on the other side. Tell yourself that giving up is not an option. Keep focusing on things you can do to get through this, and continue trying to distract yourself. This horror will pass eventually, and there is a sweet reward waiting for you if you endure. We're all here for you and care about your well-being very much. 2 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Belajazi Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 1 hour ago, Bailey said: Hard. I've been up since 3am. I'm on the east coast, USA where it's almost 9am. It felt like something was exploding within me. I haven't stopped moving. I've ridden the recumbent bike, jumped and run around the basement, screamed, yelled, gone walking, constant walking around the house. Still convulsing badly with head, neck and torso jerking. Terror on the inside. Thanks for checking. @Bailey are you taking 0.5mg xanax?? I can feel your pain. . 2018 took prozac olanzapine for only 3 months . 2021 took paxil 12.5mg and xanax for year.2023 in july took prozac 25mg and olanzapine 3mg for only 3 days cause akathisia . july 2023 took sertalline 100mg and olanzapine 2.5mg for a month cause ocd and akathisia . august 2023 took lexapro 5mg only for 2 days cz extreme akathisia .August 2023 took paxil Cr 12.5mg cause agitation and kolonopin 0.5mg. october 2023 cut pill haf6.25mg .December 2023 cut 1/4 (3.125mg) coated pill as per psy advice.last December quit cold turkey after 7 days then reinstate(3.125mg).January 2024 contine 3.1mg paxil cr .january 5 -2024 as per psy took pill 3.125mg at other day(skiping days) for 15d. January 20-2024 skiping dose at gap of two days . feb 5-2024 1/4 of paxil cr 3.125 and kolonopin continue 0.5mg also taking pregabalin 100mg from September 2023 till now 10-feb-2024: switch to home-made 1ml paxil solution. +0.5mg k+100mg pregabalin Akathisia, depression, anxiety,throat choking, extreme fear,physical pains. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 29 Author Share Posted February 29 On 2/13/2024 at 1:32 PM, Tale said: Hi Bailey, I've read your thread and I am so sorry you are going through this. I am in a similar position, feeling like this will never end. But I think we will make it! It just takes a lot of time. Sending lots of love and hugs! Were you or are you on HRT @Tale 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Tale Posted February 29 Share Posted February 29 2 hours ago, Bailey said: Were you or are you on HRT @Tale I was taking estradiol and norethisterone (progestin) orally until November last year. I was unaware I was taking a progestin because no doctor told me. I was only ever supposed to be taking estradiol. I found out and I read online it was fine to discontinue (I don't think it is). I switched to estradiol patches because it is safer and I thought it would be fine. I definitely had withdrawal from that, but it is a bit confusing since I was also suffering from AD withdrawal. I still don't really know what symptoms were from what, but they are finally going away after 3 months since I did the switch and also 2.5 months from my last AD dose reduction. I did notice some symptoms I've had for a very long time vanish 2 months after removing the progestin: my skin got a lot better and my digestion also seemed to improve somewhat. I know it may sound depressing that you could be feeling worse for 2 or 3 months... Hopefully everyone is different and your experience could be very different. I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I don't think I have enough experience to give you advice. I guess you have to decide whether to reinstate HRT or stop and commit to that for a long time with no changes. I wish all the love to you. I know this is very hard. ❤️ November 22th 2023 - stopped norethisterone after 6 years September 2018 - sertraline 50 mg (not anymore) Spring 2022 - 4 month sertraline taper August 2022 - escitalopram 10 mg December 2022 - escitalopram 20 mg February 2022 - two week transition to bupropion (not anymore) March 2022 - escitalopram 5 mg reinstatement, bupropion cold turkey escitalopram taper: 1/Apr/23 4 mg, 1/May/23 3 mg, 18/May/23 2 mg, 9/Jul/23 1 mg, 13/Aug/23 0.9 mg, 24/Aug/23 0.8 mg, 11/Sep/23 0.72 mg, 9/Oct/23 0.648 mg, 16/Nov/23 0.616 mg, 11/Dec/23 0.6 mg, 20/Apr/24 0.591 mg, 27/Apr/24 0.583 mg Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 29 Author Share Posted February 29 1 hour ago, Tale said: I was taking estradiol and norethisterone (progestin) orally until November last year. I was unaware I was taking a progestin because no doctor told me. Thank you @Tale. My doctor just had me stop my estrogen and testosterone cream as she thought they could be activating. I'm going through the roof right now with the impact. Tuesday was my first day off. I had gone down quite a bit in November-Dec. in the confusion of chaos of severe withdrawal. I lost track of things. I'm hoping that I'll adjust to stopping this lower amount more quickly. It feels really scary and of control right now. Awful that they didn't tell you about the progestin. Ugh. Thanks again. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted February 29 Author Share Posted February 29 On 2/27/2024 at 7:12 PM, LotusRising said: Hi @Bailey, I was terrified to put anything into my body too, but I did try a beta blocker for a short time without much luck. I know they work for others though and people do seem to get relief from antihistamines as well. For what symptoms were they suggested? I would be hesitant about anything going directly into my bloodstream, so infusions would be a no for me and I've not heard anything good about ketamine. Have you tried searching the site? There may be others that have tried them and had a positive experience. If you try the beta blocker or the antihistamine, I would start with a small dose to test the waters. @LotusRising The beta blocker is to disrupt the extreme akathisia and maybe slow things down. My doctor had me stop the hormone cream which I did on Tuesday. She said that the testosterone and estrogen were activating. I was on a small amount (as seen in signature) and she thought it would be OK to stop. My other option was to switch to a new cream that the FDA had come up with. She thought that would be worse for me. However, I feel a whole new level of chaos today. I feel very unstable. Violent convulsing, non stop movement, writhing, zero sleep, out of this world terror. I was up all night last night running around the basement. The low dose ketamine lozenge l is supposed to interrupt the suicidal ideations and provide a reset (so I'm told). I'm really struggling with this and that's why the doc recommended it by a holistic psych found on Mad in America. I'm trying to stay out of the psych ward and out of the morgue. I don't know if these things are the way forward but I'm trying to figure out what to do under the circumstances. The NAD is supposed to help with withdrawal symptoms but I'm too afraid on an infusion. I'm so sensitive -- hypersensitive right now. Thanks for the encouragement to keep reaching out. I'm all upside down, especially now with the hormone issues, and will need to do that. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 1 Moderator Share Posted March 1 I'm sorry you're having such a tough time! If you were to try something, maybe you go with the one that might help the worst symptom? 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 1 Author Share Posted March 1 7 hours ago, LotusRising said: I'm sorry you're having such a tough time! If you were to try something, maybe you go with the one that might help the worst symptom? thank you @LotusRising 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 1 Mentor Share Posted March 1 Thinking of you @Bailey...how are you doing? I hope you're hanging in there okay. 1 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Xcaretuk Posted March 2 Share Posted March 2 Hi Bailey, How are you coping? Did you try Propranolol? Thinking of you 1 1998(approx.) 20mg Paroxetine, 1998 -2015 various unsuccessful tapers, 2015 app 6 month taper to 0, 2015 approx 6 months later reinstated original brand after debilitating neurological delayed WD symptoms. Made worse after surgery.2023 Famotidine, Cetirizine, New Generic, muscle relaxer. March/April19th June, 2023 - 23rd July, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 20mg to 15mg (on 15mg for 35 days), no significant symptoms. 24th July, 2023 - 26th July, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 15mg to 12.5mg (on 12.5mg for 3 days), no significant symptoms. 27th July, 2023 - 3rd September, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 12.5mg to 10mg (on 10mg for 39 days), no significant symptoms. 4th September, 2023 - 15th September, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 10mg to 5mg i.e. 10mg every other day (on 5mg for 12 days), although not noted, must have experienced some symptoms, as I decided to return to previous 10mg dosage on the 16th September. 16th September, 2023 - 25th November, 2023: Dosage increased from 5mg to 10mg i.e. 10mg every day (on 10mg for 71 days), symptoms start dates: Late September sweating, shaking and right side upper back pain., 5th October 23: Upper back pain worsening,21st Oct 23: Night time symptoms: insomnia, nausea, sweats, headaches, some anxiety (predominantly in the mornings)27th Oct 23 admitted to hospital with 1st hypertensive crisis with severe frontal headache (now suspected of withdrawal ) BP 225/115. Admitted twice more with high BP . Doctors at a loss for cause. Given anti nausea, anti anxiety and sleeping tabs in hospital. . 1st Nov 23: , heart palpitations, some anxiety.. 7th Nov 23: Anxiety was now becoming more frequent (not severe). 26th November, 2023 Dosage increased from 10mg to 20mg possibly first time taking 20 mg of Extine, new manufacturer. 3rd Dec 23 - 18th Dec, 23: Started taking 7.5mg - 15mg of Oxazepam when anxiety became unbearable only took 8 in total now stopped. Symptoms now more severe have head pain rather than headache. .Electrical shocks through body overnight accompanied by head pain. Sheer terror,. Sore eyes. 23rd Dec 23: All symptoms remain the same i.e. severe except for the last 2 days where my anxiety levels have not been as severe/ extreme and somewhat manageable (later in the day).22 Jan 24 Have some windows now but still suffering from all day head pain, upper back pain, waking up inner restlessness and terror , nausea, intermittent feelings of fear and wake up 12.30 am every morning and sometimes up to 3 times a night with weird tingling down arms and back, pounding heart head pain and nausea. 2nd March 24, head pain/eye pain everyday and all day and & night wake ups.. Mild Akathisia early morning,, upper back pain, sweats. Anxiety much better. 21st April 24, drop 2.25% drop to 19.5 mg to test help with head /eye nerve pain and new symptom tinnitus. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 4 Moderator Share Posted March 4 Hi @Bailey Just checking in to see how you're managing? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 @LotusRising Struggling so very much. Akathisia has my body all over the place today. Thoughts aren't in a good place. I've been up since 5am exercising to move the energy out - jumping, running around the basement, using the recumbent bike, screaming, punching pillows, going outside for a walk, breathwork. I don't feel like I'm going to make it (trying to tell myself otherwise). I'm pretty short on hope at the moment. Thank you for checking. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 4 Moderator Share Posted March 4 I'm sorry to hear this. Does the extra energy dissipate later in the day? 59 minutes ago, Bailey said: I'm pretty short on hope at the moment. I think a lot of us have felt this way for sure. Do you ever watch Angie Peacock videos? She just released her most recent video. It's worth a watch, or a listen, if you can tolerate it. It's about hope. 1 hour ago, Bailey said: I don't feel like I'm going to make it (trying to tell myself otherwise) You're going to make it Bailey. It's your best option, even if you feel like it's not attainable. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 4 Mentor Share Posted March 4 1 hour ago, Bailey said: I don't feel like I'm going to make it @Bailey.... YES, you WILL make it. Remember, if we think we can't, we are right...... If we think we can, we are right. Your life is worth fighting for, so keep fighting. It will not last forever. For what it's worth, sending you thoughts of strength and healing. -Catina ❤️ Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 4 Author Share Posted March 4 42 minutes ago, LotusRising said: @LotusRising It's after 3pm and the akathisia is not dissipating today. Sometimes it does. I'm not able to watch videos yet but will watch the A.Peacock one when I can. Listening is challenging too. My doctor did prescribe the propranolol which is supposed to help with the akathisia. I don't know how much of a chance I should give it before deciding it's not helping or making things worse. We started with a very small dose and are increasing it to see if it makes a dent. I'm really scared. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Belajazi Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 15 hours ago, Bailey said: @Bailey have you tried propanolol??? . 2018 took prozac olanzapine for only 3 months . 2021 took paxil 12.5mg and xanax for year.2023 in july took prozac 25mg and olanzapine 3mg for only 3 days cause akathisia . july 2023 took sertalline 100mg and olanzapine 2.5mg for a month cause ocd and akathisia . august 2023 took lexapro 5mg only for 2 days cz extreme akathisia .August 2023 took paxil Cr 12.5mg cause agitation and kolonopin 0.5mg. october 2023 cut pill haf6.25mg .December 2023 cut 1/4 (3.125mg) coated pill as per psy advice.last December quit cold turkey after 7 days then reinstate(3.125mg).January 2024 contine 3.1mg paxil cr .january 5 -2024 as per psy took pill 3.125mg at other day(skiping days) for 15d. January 20-2024 skiping dose at gap of two days . feb 5-2024 1/4 of paxil cr 3.125 and kolonopin continue 0.5mg also taking pregabalin 100mg from September 2023 till now 10-feb-2024: switch to home-made 1ml paxil solution. +0.5mg k+100mg pregabalin Akathisia, depression, anxiety,throat choking, extreme fear,physical pains. Link to comment
DaisyMcCubbing Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 @Bailey How are you doing this morning? 1990(?) - 1992 Imipramine 1992 - 2022 Paxil in dosages from 10mg to 40mg (Plus lots of other meds tried over the years: Wellbutrin, Prozac, Lexapro, Cymbalta, Effexor,Buspar, Celexa, Dexedrine, Lamictal, Lithobid, Remeron, Provigil, DextroStat, Ambien, Lorazepam) 2023 Paxil: August 29 9.2mg; September 26 8.8mg; Novermber 7 8.4mg; December 5 8mg 2024 Paxil: January 17 7.6mg; February 13 7.2mg March 26 6.8mg Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 5 Author Share Posted March 5 40 minutes ago, DaisyMcCubbing said: @Bailey How are you doing this morning? A little better, thankfully. Thanks for checking. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
DaisyMcCubbing Posted March 5 Share Posted March 5 So glad to hear it. 1 1990(?) - 1992 Imipramine 1992 - 2022 Paxil in dosages from 10mg to 40mg (Plus lots of other meds tried over the years: Wellbutrin, Prozac, Lexapro, Cymbalta, Effexor,Buspar, Celexa, Dexedrine, Lamictal, Lithobid, Remeron, Provigil, DextroStat, Ambien, Lorazepam) 2023 Paxil: August 29 9.2mg; September 26 8.8mg; Novermber 7 8.4mg; December 5 8mg 2024 Paxil: January 17 7.6mg; February 13 7.2mg March 26 6.8mg Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 6 Mentor Share Posted March 6 23 hours ago, Bailey said: A little better, thankfully. This is fantastic news! Just keep hanging on...things will get even better eventually. One day you WILL be looking back at this. 🌺 1 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Comfyquilt Posted March 8 Share Posted March 8 Hi @Bailey hoping things are a little better! How are you? Aug-Oct 2018 - 22 doses of Ativan (0.25 mg) stopped CT .Nov 2018 - Zoplicone 7.5 mg (stopped CT Dec 18) .Dec 2018 - 5mg Valium (tapered to 0.25 mg felt good so stayed on this dose for a long time) .Dec 2021 - Pregabalin one week CT .Jan 2022- Mirtazapine 3.75 mg, 2 weeks then 2 week taper. Updose Valium to 15 mg .June 2022 - 10mg Valium, currently tapering March 2022-Dec 2023 - Tapered 13mg over 19 months down to 1.5 mg. Nov 2023 made error with liquid and solid dose. Updosed by 60% by accident. Dec 2023 - 1.5 mg Valium Feb 2023- 4mg Valium, 400mg Gabapentin. 1.5 mg Mirtazapine (discontinued after short taper) Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 8 Mentor Share Posted March 8 How are you doing @Bailey? Thinking of you... ❤️ Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 8 Author Share Posted March 8 Thank you @Comfyquiltand @Catina7 for checking. It's been really rough. Those times where you feel everything is going wrong and that you couldn't possibly be healing. Hopefully some lighter days ahead so that I can regroup. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 8 Mentor Share Posted March 8 9 minutes ago, Bailey said: Hopefully some lighter days ahead so that I can regroup. That's the spirit, and I'm glad to see that you're able to look forward with some hope. As I said before, one day you will be looking back at this and be able to help the next person who will be needing your advice. Hang in there @Bailey. One minute at a time, one step at a time. You'll get there, just keep going. 1 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Comfyquilt Posted March 9 Share Posted March 9 @Bailey I know the exact feeling so so well. I hope better days are ahead for you and I’ll pray for you tonight ❤️ 1 Aug-Oct 2018 - 22 doses of Ativan (0.25 mg) stopped CT .Nov 2018 - Zoplicone 7.5 mg (stopped CT Dec 18) .Dec 2018 - 5mg Valium (tapered to 0.25 mg felt good so stayed on this dose for a long time) .Dec 2021 - Pregabalin one week CT .Jan 2022- Mirtazapine 3.75 mg, 2 weeks then 2 week taper. Updose Valium to 15 mg .June 2022 - 10mg Valium, currently tapering March 2022-Dec 2023 - Tapered 13mg over 19 months down to 1.5 mg. Nov 2023 made error with liquid and solid dose. Updosed by 60% by accident. Dec 2023 - 1.5 mg Valium Feb 2023- 4mg Valium, 400mg Gabapentin. 1.5 mg Mirtazapine (discontinued after short taper) Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 9 Author Share Posted March 9 8 hours ago, Comfyquilt said: @Bailey I know the exact feeling so so well. I hope better days are ahead for you and I’ll pray for you tonight ❤️ Thank you so very much for your encouragement and prayers. It really helps. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Boges11 Posted March 11 Share Posted March 11 Sending love and hugs. Keep holding on, things do get better, just try not to add much to your system as I’m now having to taper off Mirtazapine after being given in psych ward for aka SI and it’s horrible and not sure how I’ll get off. So keep what you can to a minimum and know the acute level SI aka will run out of steam and it will lessen and then fade for good. Hugs and love. Lots of prayers for God to heal all of us. Keep reading out. 2 Prior to March 2020 - no meds in 37yr life., no anx or dep. mar’20- hospital with Covid like sym- panic attack- adverse reaction to ceftriaxone AB-rash and tongue swelling Never was covid, likely stomach bug Apr ‘20- told see psychiatrist after hospital(didn’t know one panic attack shouldn’t) .75mg K and 5mg Lex May ‘20- switched to 25mg Sertraline mid June ‘20- .75-.625mg K by psych in week spiraled ended up in ER; 10mg Trazodone for sleep, tapered over 2wks july’20- Sert taper 25mg-18mg - aka terrible didnt know what it was ;Dr change to 5mg Prozac- aug’20-tapered 5mg Proz next 4 weeks, 1/4 pill a week. Aug’20- Sept 5mg ambien tapered off over a month in Sept 2020. 12mg Seroquel given and immediately tapered over 3ks in Oct 20. Jan ‘21- 2wks 10mg Elavil for sleep; eye issues so CTd per Dr- 6wk Wd. Mar’21- slow K taper .635mg to .005mg-Aug’23 ;may’22 drop .01mg/mo the last .16mg- severe acute, akathisia,in dark closet for 10 wks -eyes severe any light aka worse. beta blockers once -worse, spec clonidine-severe reaction. Severe SI and attempt - Psych hospitals Nov/Dec23- multiple meds one off, Depakote 10 days 250mg, ECt twice ugh muscle relaxer ketamine and propofol 12/2/23- psych hosp 7.5mg Mirtazapine for severe aka, myoclonic jolts, eye issues and no benefit . 12/10- forced 15mg 5 days, 7.5 since 12/15/23 .home 12/18. covid + 12/22/23. Neg 12/30. hell on mirt adverse effects(severe RLS, aka worse,brain racing/swirling, eye flashing, jolts) after dose Comp liq early Feb; 6.1mg 5/10/24 Severe neuro issues, aka on and off 100+ symptoms thru K taper and on Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 @LotusRising Could you spare some words of hope for me today? 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 On 3/11/2024 at 12:47 AM, Boges11 said: Sending love and hugs. Keep holding on, things do get better, just try not to add much to your system as I’m now having to taper off Mirtazapine after being given in psych ward for aka SI and it’s horrible and not sure how I’ll get off. So keep what you can to a minimum and know the acute level SI aka will run out of steam and it will lessen and then fade for good. Hugs and love. Lots of prayers for God to heal all of us. Keep reading out. I am praying for the Mirt. taper. Thank you for sharing with me. I was given that years ago and reacted pretty violently to it. Hugs and love to you. I'm trying to have and praying for hope. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 12 Moderator Share Posted March 12 Hi @Bailey, what is happening for you today? The same? If it feels like a loss of hope kind of day, please read through the success stories. Listen to Baylissa meditations. Both are invaluable during really difficult days. I spent a lot of time reading them on days where all I could do was curl up in a ball and lay in bed. Repeat positive affirmations "I am healing" "I am strong" - write them on stickies and put them up everywhere. Get out for a walk, even if it's just a short one - it can really change your perspective and get you out of the repetitive thoughts. Is there somewhere outside you can go that's calming or by the water? Is it warm enough to connect your bare feet to the ground? It will get better Bailey, it really will. There is always hope ❤️ 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 38 minutes ago, LotusRising said: Hi @Bailey, what is happening for you today? The same? @LotusRising This is really raw: I feel like I'm sort of moving into new and scary territory while not shedding any of the old struggles. I didn’t sleep much at all and had so much torment, terror, agitation and rage through the night. This morning I was screaming at the top of my lungs and punching pillows. I hurt my neck and shoulder with all the rage which will probably interfere with sleep tonight. I actually haven't really slept since this all started in November. Just drifting off for a little bit to nightmares and then waking up in panic. Last night waking up to both panic and rage. I would have been carried into the ER kicking and screaming and would've been sedated immediately. My mind was (and still is a bit) frenzied and suicidal, looking about for ways to get out of my tormented, tortured body. It feels like a descent into madness. I've never experienced anything like it. And the slightest thing anyone says sets me off and sends me into intense into looping anger. I can't reason with myself. It's very magnified and out of proportion. It seems to be getting worse. i wish I could lie in bed and rest but my body is too activated, anxious, terrified all the time. I do have a number of sticky notes up in the bathroom for encouragement. I read them aloud a few times a day. I'll try to get out. Everything feels overwhelming and it feels like too many mistakes were made to recover from all this. Looping terror if I consider the past and meds. It's certainly dragging on and I don't see progress. I keep wondered if I should be doing something different. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Tale Posted March 12 Share Posted March 12 Hi Bailey, Some time ago I thought the torture would never end. But one day I realized I was feeling quite well after so long. I believe you will eventually reach that day. Don't give up. You'll make it! Lots of love ❤️❤️ 1 November 22th 2023 - stopped norethisterone after 6 years September 2018 - sertraline 50 mg (not anymore) Spring 2022 - 4 month sertraline taper August 2022 - escitalopram 10 mg December 2022 - escitalopram 20 mg February 2022 - two week transition to bupropion (not anymore) March 2022 - escitalopram 5 mg reinstatement, bupropion cold turkey escitalopram taper: 1/Apr/23 4 mg, 1/May/23 3 mg, 18/May/23 2 mg, 9/Jul/23 1 mg, 13/Aug/23 0.9 mg, 24/Aug/23 0.8 mg, 11/Sep/23 0.72 mg, 9/Oct/23 0.648 mg, 16/Nov/23 0.616 mg, 11/Dec/23 0.6 mg, 20/Apr/24 0.591 mg, 27/Apr/24 0.583 mg Link to comment
Administrator KenA Posted March 12 Administrator Share Posted March 12 Hang in there @Bailey. It does get better with time. Just remember to breathe! This too shall pass! 1 2010-2011 - Tramadol - Can't remember dosage 2011 - CT Quit Tramadol 2011-2019 - St Johns Wart - Started out at 3 Pills a day (300 MG) and increased to 6 per day over the years August 2019 - CT Quit St Johns (Told by Hospital Dr to Stop Taking due to increased BP) September 2019 - Citalopram 10mg - Approx 2 weeks - CT Quit September 2019 - October 2019 - Clonazepam .5mg - Approx 3 weeks - CT Quit Drug Free Since October 5th 2019 Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 12 Moderator Share Posted March 12 1 hour ago, Bailey said: Everything feels overwhelming and it feels like too many mistakes were made to recover from all this. Looping terror if I consider the past and meds. It's certainly dragging on and I don't see progress. I keep wondered if I should be doing something different. I know it feels like too many mistakes have been made, but if you look at some of the other stories here, it has no bearing on your ability to recover. Trust me, I made my fair share of mistakes at the beginning of all of this. But here I am, surviving and thriving. One day that will be you too. I didn't sleep for sooo long, only small chunks here and there, so I can relate to how that affects mental status and ability to reason with our thoughts. This is all temporary! Please try to reassure yourself of this. I'm glad to hear you have the notes up. I got so angry one time, I remember tearing them all up because I was so sure that I would never improve. But I have Bailey, it's like and day. Please keep directing your energy to hope whenever possible ❤️ Please get yourself outside for a walk and let me know how it goes. 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 12 Mentor Share Posted March 12 @Bailey, Have you ever considered trying acupuncture or EFT Tapping? I found both to be helpful when I was really in a bad place. Both can be very soothing and healing for the nervous system. Also, anything that can activate the vagus nerve would help too. Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 1 hour ago, Catina7 said: @Bailey, Have you ever considered trying acupuncture or EFT Tapping? I found both to be helpful when I was really in a bad place. Both can be very soothing and healing for the nervous system. Also, anything that can activate the vagus nerve would help too. @Catina7I've been doing some tapping today. I can't say that it's helping. I haven't found a person near me for acupuncture. It's also hard to know when I'll have a window in which I'll be still enough for it. I did call and ask a practitioner but she said she had no experience with psych med withdrawal (I wanted to be honest) and didn't want to treat me. She didn't have recommendations for other places. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
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