Moderator LotusRising Posted March 26 Moderator Share Posted March 26 3 hours ago, Bailey said: My family is talking about making me go in-patient. What do YOU want to do? Please know this is your decision. Although I'm sure they're well-meaning, it is ultimately your decision. I think it's important to consider what you hope to achieve from going to the hospital and decide if you think it's right for you or not. It's not an easy decision, but whatever you choose, we are here to support you ❤️ This thread below might have some useful info: 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 26 Author Share Posted March 26 12 minutes ago, LotusRising said: What do YOU want to do? Please know this is your decision. Although I'm sure they're well-meaning, it is ultimately your decision. I think it's important to consider what you hope to achieve from going to the hospital and decide if you think it's right for you or not. It's not an easy decision, but whatever you choose, we are here to support you ❤️ This thread below might have some useful info: Thank you @LotusRising. I'll take a look. I'm actually staying with my sister. My akathisia is pretty disruptive and it's hard to see that I'm getting any better. My sister thinks I've gotten worse. She's tired, angry and doesn't know what to do with me. Being taken off hormone cream last month hasn't helped. Low dose but I feel the haywire factor has gone up since then. I'm hoping things settle a bit. I'm deathly afraid of the hospital because I've been that route. I'd love to stabilize some way some how. I just don't know how to do that. I remain unable to function very much at all on my own. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 26 Moderator Share Posted March 26 Yes, I understand and I can definitely relate. I was very unwell for a long time and not sure how I would have coped without my family. It took me months to achieve any kind of stability and without a doubt it was difficult for my family, but I was quite stubborn about not wanting to go. Like you, I was scared. I was scared about getting worse than I already was, so I clung to hope that I would improve and took my tiny windows as evidence that it was going to happen. What does your sister think will happen at the hospital? Is she understanding of your fear about going? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 26 Author Share Posted March 26 26 minutes ago, LotusRising said: Yes, I understand and I can definitely relate. I was very unwell for a long time and not sure how I would have coped without my family. It took me months to achieve any kind of stability and without a doubt it was difficult for my family, but I was quite stubborn about not wanting to go. Like you, I was scared. I was scared about getting worse than I already was, so I clung to hope that I would improve and took my tiny windows as evidence that it was going to happen. What does your sister think will happen at the hospital? Is she understanding of your fear about going? Thank you so much for sharing from your experience @LotusRising. It gives me hope. None of us thought I'd be this unstable and unwell for this long. I think my sister understands my fears but also doesn't know what to do with me and wonders if I'll ever get better without doing something different. I also don't have another place to go unfortunately. She said today that something has to change and she had a name of a place. Maybe tomorrow will be different. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 26 Moderator Share Posted March 26 10 hours ago, Bailey said: She said today that something has to change and she had a name of a place I think it's really difficult for other people to really grasp what's happening in our bodies. What does she mean by something has to change? What place is she talking about? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 26 Author Share Posted March 26 1 hour ago, LotusRising said: I think it's really difficult for other people to really grasp what's happening in our bodies. What does she mean by something has to change? What place is she talking about? Yes, very difficult @LotusRising. Impossible. She told me today I am dragging her down with me. She said she can't take it anymore -- especially the unpredictability of the akathisia anger. She had the name of a psych hospital. It's pretty ugly this morning. She's crying. She's yelling at me. She told me I'm ruining her oasis of a home. I don't know what to do. I don't have the ability to absorb it. I don't have another place to go to. I feel unwanted, unsafe, overwhelmed and a complete burden. I get why she feels the way she does and am sure I'd feel the same way, but I don't know how to process it in my compromised state. Any thoughts from you or others are welcome. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Comfyquilt Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 @Bailey I am so sorry to hear that your family is being unsupportive. It’s impossible to understand unless you’ve felt it. It’s not something that magically goes away overnight (oh how I wish this was the case). I don’t know what State of the US you are in but have you tried maybe having a consult with a psych (and your sister) who might understand? I will put some links here to doctors (not personally vetted but I have heard good things) below: https://taperclinic.com https://freerange.org https://www.trueyoupsych.com maybe this will help ❤️ sending prayers and love 2 Aug-Oct 2018 - 22 doses of Ativan (0.25 mg) stopped CT .Nov 2018 - Zoplicone 7.5 mg (stopped CT Dec 18) .Dec 2018 - 5mg Valium (tapered to 0.25 mg felt good so stayed on this dose for a long time) .Dec 2021 - Pregabalin one week CT .Jan 2022- Mirtazapine 3.75 mg, 2 weeks then 2 week taper. Updose Valium to 15 mg .June 2022 - 10mg Valium, currently tapering March 2022-Dec 2023 - Tapered 13mg over 19 months down to 1.5 mg. Nov 2023 made error with liquid and solid dose. Updosed by 60% by accident. Dec 2023 - 1.5 mg Valium Feb 2023- 4mg Valium, 400mg Gabapentin. 1.5 mg Mirtazapine (discontinued after short taper) Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 26 Author Share Posted March 26 Thank you @Comfyquilt. I'm in Virginia. I really appreciate your supportive thoughts, love and prayers. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Comfyquilt Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 @Bailey of course ❤️ hang in there dear one. It will pass, it’s just long and horrid. Maybe a consult with one of those psychs might help you get back to some stability. The doctors I listed there all understand psych med WD and might have some ideas about your akathisia and how to manage it. Aug-Oct 2018 - 22 doses of Ativan (0.25 mg) stopped CT .Nov 2018 - Zoplicone 7.5 mg (stopped CT Dec 18) .Dec 2018 - 5mg Valium (tapered to 0.25 mg felt good so stayed on this dose for a long time) .Dec 2021 - Pregabalin one week CT .Jan 2022- Mirtazapine 3.75 mg, 2 weeks then 2 week taper. Updose Valium to 15 mg .June 2022 - 10mg Valium, currently tapering March 2022-Dec 2023 - Tapered 13mg over 19 months down to 1.5 mg. Nov 2023 made error with liquid and solid dose. Updosed by 60% by accident. Dec 2023 - 1.5 mg Valium Feb 2023- 4mg Valium, 400mg Gabapentin. 1.5 mg Mirtazapine (discontinued after short taper) Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 26 Moderator Share Posted March 26 (edited) @Bailey Amazing suggestions from @Comfyquilt. I would definitely look into this. I'm sorry it's so difficult. I know our situations put a lot of extra pressure on family members, but hopefully one of the above providers will have some good ideas. A psych hospital does not seem like a good idea to me. Edited March 26 by LotusRising Added last sentence 2 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Foxrage94 Posted March 26 Share Posted March 26 Sorry to hear you're still struggling I'm having a similar situation and haven't stabilized at all I've been told to use seroquel to help my insomnia is so bad and my dpdr has never been so bad same as my harm ocd I never thought paxil could do this as I wasn't warned I wish I was like u and had stuck to getting of this horrible drug but I was only at 5mg for 4 days and after the breakdown from the way too fast taper I was put back up to 20mg to try and stabilize and this was last October I've never felt like this or this suicidal in my life I'm really struggling to hold on I have family and a partner but my mind doesn't care about that when I feel this messed up u know I hope u find help I'm in the UK I've tried to be admitted to the psych wards but they won't have any of it at all at this point zopiclone doesn't help me sleep and diazepam doesn't calm me down the tinnitus is atrocious aswell I'm proud that there's people like u that are still trying to fight its so hard not to turn to bad stuff when u feel this way I'm now stuck and I don't know whether to just drop the paroxetine at this point go back up to 40mg or start weaning I'm too scared too try seroquel but maybe it could stop the constant intrusive thoughts and insomnia who knows stay strong message me if u need a chat 1 Previously used sertraline,prozac,citalopram,zopiclone,temazepam,lorazepam,diazepam ive only used benzos a few times over the years never extended use currently using 2mg diazepam a day to try help with acute withdrawal from paxil doesnt help much Paroxetine 40mg 2017 Paroxetine 40mg - 5mg 2023 1 month taper. Hospital 3 times since september last year Back on 20mg since October 2023 was only on 5mg for 3 days then straight back to 20mg doctors advice Been Suicidal,Numb,Harm OCD,Diarrhea,Nausea,Dizzy, Told to go up to 30mg. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 27 Author Share Posted March 27 19 hours ago, LotusRising said: @Bailey Amazing suggestions from @Comfyquilt A psych hospital does not seem like a good idea to me. Agreed on both counts @LotusRising. Thank for always sharing your experience. It really helps me to see that you had similar awfulness for many months and came through. This is taking an awfully long time, much longer than any of us expected and I think that's what's brought on the pressure for doing something different (eg., my sister wanting me to go to a psych hospital). Some days I think maybe if I made a change, it would get me headed in the right direction. But then I also think it could send me in the opposite direction. Thanks again. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 27 Author Share Posted March 27 17 hours ago, Foxrage94 said: Sorry to hear you're still struggling I'm having a similar situation and haven't stabilized at all I've been told to use seroquel to help my insomnia is so bad and my dpdr has never been so bad same as my harm ocd I never thought paxil could do this as I wasn't warned I wish I was like u and had stuck to getting of this horrible drug but I was only at 5mg for 4 days and after the breakdown from the way too fast taper I was put back up to 20mg to try and stabilize and this was last October I've never felt like this or this suicidal in my life I'm really struggling to hold on I have family and a partner but my mind doesn't care about that when I feel this messed up u know I hope u find help I'm in the UK I've tried to be admitted to the psych wards but they won't have any of it at all at this point zopiclone doesn't help me sleep and diazepam doesn't calm me down the tinnitus is atrocious aswell I'm proud that there's people like u that are still trying to fight its so hard not to turn to bad stuff when u feel this way I'm now stuck and I don't know whether to just drop the paroxetine at this point go back up to 40mg or start weaning I'm too scared too try seroquel but maybe it could stop the constant intrusive thoughts and insomnia who knows stay strong message me if u need a chat @Foxrage94 I can relate to so much of what you're saying and I'm sorry and angry we have to go through this. Have you asked the moderators for their input regarding reinstating the paxil and also the other meds you are taking and have questions about? Maybe they can help you sort out next steps. I'm glad they're here for us. Interesting that you've tried to get admitted to the psych ward in the UK but can't. It's the opposite here in the U.S. They're ready to admit a person in a heartbeat but that's not necessarily a good thing considering their protocols. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 29 Moderator Share Posted March 29 Hi @Bailey Just checking in to see how you're doing? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 29 Author Share Posted March 29 1 hour ago, LotusRising said: Hi @Bailey Just checking in to see how you're doing? Another really rough day. Hoping things get a little calmer. Right now I'm just trying to hang on minute by minute. Thanks for asking @LotusRising Also, can I just vent? Today has been especially annoying because friends keep trying to give me advice (almost like they feel their role is to teach me something because I'm having a hard time) as if they know best even though they have not even 1 millionth of an idea what I'm going through. I feel misunderstood and angry. And of course everything is magnified in withdrawal. Can you relate? 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 29 Moderator Share Posted March 29 11 minutes ago, Bailey said: Can you relate? Yes, I can absolutely relate!!!! I know it comes from a place of trying to help, but mostly what I need is understanding and validation. "I'm sorry this is so hard" "I'm here for you" - that kind of thing. I don't need people to try and fix something that will only fix itself over time. I think what we go through is just too unbelievable for others to fathom. I'm sorry. We're all here for you and we understand ❤️ 1 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 29 Author Share Posted March 29 2 minutes ago, LotusRising said: Yes, I can absolutely relate!!!! I know it comes from a place of trying to help, but mostly what I need is understanding and validation. "I'm sorry this is so hard" "I'm here for you" - that kind of thing. I don't need people to try and fix something that will only fix itself over time. I think what we go through is just too unbelievable for others to fathom. I'm sorry. We're all here for you and we understand ❤️ Thank you SO much @LotusRising.Yes, absolutely on the validation and understanding. I know people want to help but it's not helpful. I really appreciate your sharing with me and also that I can share this in the safety of this space with people who understand and support. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 25 minutes ago, Bailey said: friends keep trying to give me advice (almost like they feel their role is to teach me something because I'm having a hard time) I have felt like a few of my friends now view me as their "personal project". Like they will snap their fingers, make a suggestion and I will be 'fixed'. I am so grateful for this site because we all get it. Did Mark email back yet? Did you watch the video? 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/ 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 29 Author Share Posted March 29 3 minutes ago, LostInCanada said: I have felt like a few of my friends now view me as their "personal project". Like they will snap their fingers, make a suggestion and I will be 'fixed'. I am so grateful for this site because we all get it. Did Mark email back yet? Did you watch the video? Yes on the personal project front! I'm grateful too for this site where we get it and can truly support each other. These are the voices that I can listen to and be encouraged by because we know how unfathomable and savage things are. I haven't heard back from Mark yet. I've saved the link for the video but haven't watched it yet. I go in and out of being able to watch things. When I do watch anything, it's super super light and not related to withdrawal. I hope my capacities expand. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 29 Share Posted March 29 3 minutes ago, Bailey said: I go in and out of being able to watch things. When I do watch anything, it's super super light and not related to withdrawal. I hope my capacities expand. I was unable to even watch tv for months. In the last year and a half I have watched maybe 6 movies. For tv now it is basically HGTV and food network. So it is getting better and you will too. ❤️ 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/ 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 29 Author Share Posted March 29 5 minutes ago, LostInCanada said: I was unable to even watch tv for months. In the last year and a half I have watched maybe 6 movies. For tv now it is basically HGTV and food network. So it is getting better and you will too. ❤️ Oh, that's so good to hear that it gets better -- thank you for sharing your experience. It truly helps. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 @LotusRising or other mods, is there really hope that I'm healing? Even though I've made so many mistakes? It's best to keep holding with what I'm doing in order to stabilize? I feel that not only the drop in paxil but the switch to a manufacturer's liquid (at same time) was a terrible mistake (with doctor and she and I didn't know). I feel especially that if I hadn't switched to a manufacturer's liquid, i might have been somewhat OK by now. Is it likely that my body adjusting? i wish I were back on a pill form but I'm guessing trying to get there would be further destabilizing. I don't have any padding, so to speak, to tolerate further upheaval. I really thought I'd be at a place of some stability after all this time. Is there evidence to suggest that it's 1)normal to still be destabilized? 2) that I'll heal? I can have hope? One of my recurring and terrifying thought loops, especially in the middle of the night, is that I've made a terrible mistake(s) that can't be fixed because I'm too destabilized and hypersensitive to make changes. So, I'm stuck. I try to change the thought but my withdrawal brain makes it tough. Can you relate? Being very vulnerable here. Most everything scares me right now. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 @Bailey you will heal. It will take time because of the various factors described. I posted the following on another member's intro. It is good to understand how paroxetine affects the body. It is an anticholinergic drug. Anticholinergic medications (shorthand: "anticholinergics") are drugs that block and inhibit the activity of the neurotransmitter acetylcholine (ACh) at both central and peripheral nervous system synapses. Anticholinergic drugs inhibit the parasympathetic nervous system by blocking the action of ACh so that it is unable to bind to receptor sites. They interact with muscarinic cholinergic receptors in the brain, secretory glands, heart, smooth muscle, and eyes. Typical symptoms of anticholinergic medications include dry mouth, constipation, urinary retention, bowel obstruction, dilated pupils, blurred vision, increased heart rate, and decreased sweating The symptoms you are dealing with are from the dosage changes etc and your body is trying to fix it. Your body is doing what it needs too despite how horrible it feels. Just avoid anything that causes more stress. Eat healthy. No caffeine or even OTC drugs especially no other drugs that are anticholinergic. That includes antihistamines, advil, etc. if possible. Don't overdo exercise, cleaning, anything. 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/ 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 3 hours ago, Bailey said: I've made a terrible mistake(s) that can't be fixed because I'm too destabilized and hypersensitive to make changes. Please be assured that you haven't made any mistakes that can't be reversed. Nor are they huge compared to many on here that have healed. ♥️ You are doing well. The cortisol rush in the morning (2am-8am) is brutal and causes this surge in thinking, panic, shaking etc. It is very common in WD. We are going to be okay. 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/ 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 56 minutes ago, LostInCanada said: Please be assured that you haven't made any mistakes that can't be reversed. Nor are they huge compared to many on here that have healed. ♥️ You are doing well. The cortisol rush in the morning (2am-8am) is brutal and causes this surge in thinking, panic, shaking etc. It is very common in WD. We are going to be okay. Thank you @LostInCanada. I'm always so afraid that the combination of things I'm doing isn't right -- that I should change something but can't because of how unstable I am. I keep wondering if I'm truly headed in the right direction given how long this is taking to reach any level of stability. Having a brain in withdrawal that sees threats all around doesn't help either. I'm still not really sleeping at all. Just snatches here and there interrupted by having to go to the bathroom despite stopping liquids 8 hours in advance to avoid the trips. Then I'm up, my heart is pounding and I'm in these terrible doomsday thought loops that I can't seem to shake off no matter how hard I try. And yes, the cortisol in the morning brings out the worst in my akathisia and panic. It's awful. Again, thank you. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 1 hour ago, LostInCanada said: The symptoms you are dealing with are from the dosage changes etc and your body is trying to fix it. Your body is doing what it needs too despite how horrible it feels. Just avoid anything that causes more stress. Eat healthy. No caffeine or even OTC drugs especially no other drugs that are anticholinergic. That includes antihistamines, advil, etc. if possible. Don't overdo exercise, cleaning, anything. I'm eating a really clean diet @LostInCanada. I took myself off of caffeine in early January. Eating is still hard because I feel worse and more anxious even though I eat small, protein based meals. No carbs. No sugar, gluten, dairy, no processed food. I'm pretty hungry a lot of the time but am afraid to eat very much because of how it makes me feel. My doctor recommended that I start taking an antihistamine at night (Benadryl) so that I would start getting some sleep. I haven't had a regular night since early November. I've been afraid to do that, though. I'm hoping my body will gradually start moving into better sleep but nighttime is scary because I wake up, have terror, can't get back to sleep. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 28 minutes ago, Bailey said: My doctor recommended that I start taking an antihistamine at night (Benadryl) so that I would start getting some sleep Benadryl is an anticholinergic medication. I did take half a child's dose when I had multiple wasp stings. It over activated me and put me in a wave. Others have taken it with no issues but they are not on paxil. 30 minutes ago, Bailey said: I haven't had a regular night since early November. I haven't either for more than 7 years after a medication mix up. At present I sleep about 1 to 2 hours then wake, then sleep about 1-2 hours etc. About once every 2 months I get a 4 hour stretch. I just make sure I go to bed before 10 pm and rise at 7-8 am. I am able to stay functional doing that. Your body will get there. I repeat to myself I am safe which helps me during my shakes, anxiety etc. Patience, acceptance, love. ❤️ 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/ 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 30 Mentor Share Posted March 30 35 minutes ago, Bailey said: No carbs. @Bailey, when I cut out carbs and was in ketosis my anxiety was through the roof. My body didn't like it at all, but it took me a long time to realize that it was causing some of my issues. As soon as I added back in some carbs I felt calmer and was able to sleep better. Maybe you could try to add in some healthy complex carbs to see if that might make a difference. Just a thought... 1 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 3 minutes ago, LostInCanada said: Benadryl is an anticholinergic medication. I did take half a child's dose when I had multiple wasp stings. It over activated me and put me in a wave. Others have taken it with no issues but they are not on paxil. @LostInCanada So, the Benadryl was activating, not sedating? Like a paradoxical effect? 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 2 minutes ago, Catina7 said: @Bailey, when I cut out carbs and was in ketosis my anxiety was through the roof. My body didn't like it at all, but it took me a long time to realize that it was causing some of my issues. As soon as I added back in some carbs I felt calmer and was able to sleep better. Maybe you could try to add in some healthy complex carbs to see if that might make a difference. Just a thought... What kinds of complex carbs did you add back in @Catina7 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 30 Share Posted March 30 5 minutes ago, Bailey said: paradoxical Yes it was for me though I never had that reaction from gravol. 1 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/ 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 2 minutes ago, LostInCanada said: @LostInCanada is the main issue with Benadryl and other things you mentioned is that they are activating and can set one off? 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 30 Mentor Share Posted March 30 (edited) 23 minutes ago, Bailey said: What kinds of complex carbs did you add back in @Catina7 Sweet potatoes, brown rice, steel cut oats, and some apples. If you're worried about blood sugar spikes, you can first cook the potatoes, rice, or oatmeal and then cool them in the fridge overnight. After that, when you heat them up again they become a "resistant starch" and it doesn't spike your blood sugar as much. Edited March 30 by Catina7 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 30 Mentor Share Posted March 30 (edited) Deleted by me. Edited March 30 by Catina7 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 30 Author Share Posted March 30 2 minutes ago, Catina7 said: Sweet potatoes, brown rice, and some apples. If you're worried about blood sugar spikes, you can first cook the potatoes and rice and then cool them in the fridge overnight. After that, when you heat them up again they become a "resistant starch" and it doesn't spike your blood sugar as much. Interesting. I didn't know that about keeping them in the fridge overnight. Yes, it's the blood sugar spikes. I get so uncomfortable. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (kindling?) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. May keep on as prn. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 30 Mentor Share Posted March 30 Link that discusses resistant starch and the many health benefits: https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/resistant-starch-101#health-benefits Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
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