Mentor Catina7 Posted March 12 Mentor Share Posted March 12 9 minutes ago, Bailey said: but she said she had no experience with psych med withdrawal You don't necessarily have to have specific experience with it. As long as the acupuncturist knows to not put the needles in any places that will activate your nervous system it should be doable. Keep doing the tapping. It may take a long time to work, but just try your best. I know it's hard, but try to keep yourself as calm as possible; you will heal faster. Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 3 hours ago, LotusRising said: I didn't sleep for sooo long, only small chunks here and there, so I can relate to how that affects mental status and ability to reason with our thoughts. This is all temporary! Please try to reassure yourself of this. I'm glad to hear you have the notes up. I got so angry one time, I remember tearing them all up because I was so sure that I would never improve. But I have Bailey, it's like and day. Please keep directing your energy to hope whenever possible ❤️ Please get yourself outside for a walk and let me know how it goes. I did get out for a 30 minute walk. I'm still quite agitated, anxious and scared for tonight since last night was so bad. I usually have terror wake ups throughout the night but last night was terror plus agitation and rage. My mind was in a hyper excitable state which is not my norm. I'm trying, trying so hard to direct my mind toward hope. Did you ever wake up in terror? That's what happens to me. If yes, what did you do? I go to sleep and then wake up about 60 minutes in panic and have to go to the bathroom. I'll have to go three different times in the night even though I cut off drinking waaay before bedtime, like 6-8 hours. And, as I said, last night was extreme agitation. Lots of rumination and negative thoughts. Being upset with everyone about everything recently. And in the wee hours are when SI thoughts are the most challenging. Thanks so much @LotusRising. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 26 minutes ago, Catina7 said: I know it's hard, but try to keep yourself as calm as possible; you will heal faster. I'm certainly trying in every way I know @Catina7. Tapping, breathing exercises, movement to move the akathisia energy out, exercise, getting outside, sticky note encouragement that I read out loud every day and more. I so hope I can sleep tonight. Nov. 5 was the last night of normal sleep. Getting some sleep would really help. I'm nervous about tonight given how frightening last night was. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 12 Mentor Share Posted March 12 20 minutes ago, Bailey said: I'm certainly trying in every way I know @Catina7. Tapping, breathing exercises, movement to move the akathisia energy out, exercise, getting outside, sticky note encouragement that I read out loud every day and more. I know you are, bless your heart. ❤️ Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 12 Author Share Posted March 12 5 minutes ago, Catina7 said: I know you are, bless your heart. ❤️ Thank you for the encouragement @Catina7. It means a lot. And in this oh-so-fragile state, I guess I can't get enough. ❤️ 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Xcaretuk Posted March 12 Share Posted March 12 Hi Bailey, Keep at it Bailey, you Will get better… sending hugs 🌺 1 1998(approx.) 20mg Paroxetine, 1998 -2015 various unsuccessful tapers, 2015 app 6 month taper to 0, 2015 approx 6 months later reinstated original brand after debilitating neurological delayed WD symptoms. Made worse after surgery.2023 Famotidine, Cetirizine, New Generic, muscle relaxer. March/April19th June, 2023 - 23rd July, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 20mg to 15mg (on 15mg for 35 days), no significant symptoms. 24th July, 2023 - 26th July, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 15mg to 12.5mg (on 12.5mg for 3 days), no significant symptoms. 27th July, 2023 - 3rd September, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 12.5mg to 10mg (on 10mg for 39 days), no significant symptoms. 4th September, 2023 - 15th September, 2023: Paroxetine Dosage reduced from 10mg to 5mg i.e. 10mg every other day (on 5mg for 12 days), although not noted, must have experienced some symptoms, as I decided to return to previous 10mg dosage on the 16th September. 16th September, 2023 - 25th November, 2023: Dosage increased from 5mg to 10mg i.e. 10mg every day (on 10mg for 71 days), symptoms start dates: Late September sweating, shaking and right side upper back pain., 5th October 23: Upper back pain worsening,21st Oct 23: Night time symptoms: insomnia, nausea, sweats, headaches, some anxiety (predominantly in the mornings)27th Oct 23 admitted to hospital with 1st hypertensive crisis with severe frontal headache (now suspected of withdrawal ) BP 225/115. Admitted twice more with high BP . Doctors at a loss for cause. Given anti nausea, anti anxiety and sleeping tabs in hospital. . 1st Nov 23: , heart palpitations, some anxiety.. 7th Nov 23: Anxiety was now becoming more frequent (not severe). 26th November, 2023 Dosage increased from 10mg to 20mg possibly first time taking 20 mg of Extine, new manufacturer. 3rd Dec 23 - 18th Dec, 23: Started taking 7.5mg - 15mg of Oxazepam when anxiety became unbearable only took 8 in total now stopped. Symptoms now more severe have head pain rather than headache. .Electrical shocks through body overnight accompanied by head pain. Sheer terror,. Sore eyes. 23rd Dec 23: All symptoms remain the same i.e. severe except for the last 2 days where my anxiety levels have not been as severe/ extreme and somewhat manageable (later in the day).22 Jan 24 Have some windows now but still suffering from all day head pain, upper back pain, waking up inner restlessness and terror , nausea, intermittent feelings of fear and wake up 12.30 am every morning and sometimes up to 3 times a night with weird tingling down arms and back, pounding heart head pain and nausea. 2nd March 24, head pain/eye pain everyday and all day and & night wake ups.. Mild Akathisia early morning,, upper back pain, sweats. Anxiety much better. 21st April 24, drop 2.25% drop to 19.5 mg to test help with head /eye nerve pain and new symptom tinnitus. Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 13 Moderator Share Posted March 13 5 hours ago, Bailey said: Did you ever wake up in terror? That's what happens to me. If yes, what did you do? Yes, I did. I had to go out for walks in the middle of the night. It was the only thing that seemed to help somewhat. Or, I would colour while listening to binaural beats, which seemed to be calming for me as well. 5 hours ago, Bailey said: go to sleep and then wake up about 60 minutes in panic and have to go to the bathroom. Ditto, this was my experience for many months. It will definitely pass. I sleep well now, mostly, except for perimenopausal stuff that wakes me. I will think of you tonight and send you restful, sleepy, calm vibes ❤️ 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 13 Author Share Posted March 13 Thank you so very much for your encouragement @LotusRising. I appreciate you. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 13 Author Share Posted March 13 On 3/11/2024 at 12:47 AM, Boges11 said: Sending love and hugs. Keep holding on, things do get better, just try not to add much to your system as I’m now having to taper off Mirtazapine after being given in psych ward for aka SI and it’s horrible and not sure how I’ll get off. So keep what you can to a minimum and know the acute level SI aka will run out of steam and it will lessen and then fade for good. Hugs and love. Lots of prayers for God to heal all of us. Keep reading out. Thank you so much for the encouragement, @Boges11. I really appreciate it. Yes, I hope the aka runs out of steam. For you, too. How are you? Praying for both of us. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
DaisyMcCubbing Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 @Bailey I'm so sorry it's so bad right now. Please know I'm out here thinking of you. ♥️ 1 1990(?) - 1992 Imipramine 1992 - 2022 Paxil in dosages from 10mg to 40mg (Plus lots of other meds tried over the years: Wellbutrin, Prozac, Lexapro, Cymbalta, Effexor,Buspar, Celexa, Dexedrine, Lamictal, Lithobid, Remeron, Provigil, DextroStat, Ambien, Lorazepam) 2023 Paxil: August 29 9.2mg; September 26 8.8mg; Novermber 7 8.4mg; December 5 8mg 2024 Paxil: January 17 7.6mg; February 13 7.2mg March 26 6.8mg Link to comment
Moderator LotusRising Posted March 17 Moderator Share Posted March 17 @Bailey How are you doing? 2003-2009 on and off various SSRI's for short periods, Ativan prn 2010-2011 Ativan, up to 1.5mg/day - tapered off without issue 2013-2021 ativan 1-1.5mg 10-12x/month, daily starting Oct 21 to help with buspar WD 2016 - Effexor 75mg, short-term 2021 Mar -Jun Buspar ADR at high dose, tapered 3 months 2021 Aug Wellbutrin 150mg for 5 days (ADR), then MIrtazapine 7.5mg for 7 days (ADR) Oct 22/21 - Direct switch ativan to clonazepam (don't do this) Tapered clonaz Oct/21 - Apr/23 - 0mg! Supplements: omega-3, mag-glycinate "Believe that your tragedies, your losses, your sorrows, your hurt, happened for you, not to you. And I bless the thing that broke you down and cracked you open, because the world needs you open" - Rebecca Campbell *** Disclaimer: Please note, my suggestions/comments are based on my own personal experiences. Please consult a knowledgeable practitioner to discuss decisions regarding your medical care *** *** Please do not send me PM's *** Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 17 Author Share Posted March 17 I'm having a very hard day with lots of akathisia and terror. Very little sleep with lots of agitation and fear last night. This morning when I got up I was convulsing and jerking all over the place. A little less intense this afternoon (3pm east coast USA right now) but body still moving and jerking. Trying to cling to hope. Certainly hoping tomorrow will be lighter. Thanks for checking @LotusRising 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 17 Mentor Share Posted March 17 (edited) Thinking of you @Bailey. I wish we could take it all away for you. Your endurance and perseverance are encouraging to all of us. I am confident that you're going to keep pushing through each day, moving your way out of the darkness. One day the light will shine a little brighter. Hang in there. ❤️ Edited March 18 by Catina7 Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 17 Author Share Posted March 17 Thank you so much for your encouragement, @Catina7. It means a lot. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Boges11 Posted March 17 Share Posted March 17 Hugs, right there with you @Bailey. im so sorry you have aka so bad and may it lift for us soon! hugs and reach out as you need to, lean on whoever you can. This is so inhumane and we are here for each other. hugs- k 1 Prior to March 2020 - no meds in 37yr life., no anx or dep. mar’20- hospital with Covid like sym- panic attack- adverse reaction to ceftriaxone AB-rash and tongue swelling Never was covid, likely stomach bug Apr ‘20- told see psychiatrist after hospital(didn’t know one panic attack shouldn’t) .75mg K and 5mg Lex May ‘20- switched to 25mg Sertraline mid June ‘20- .75-.625mg K by psych in week spiraled ended up in ER; 10mg Trazodone for sleep, tapered over 2wks july’20- Sert taper 25mg-18mg - aka terrible didnt know what it was ;Dr change to 5mg Prozac- aug’20-tapered 5mg Proz next 4 weeks, 1/4 pill a week. Aug’20- Sept 5mg ambien tapered off over a month in Sept 2020. 12mg Seroquel given and immediately tapered over 3ks in Oct 20. Jan ‘21- 2wks 10mg Elavil for sleep; eye issues so CTd per Dr- 6wk Wd. Mar’21- slow K taper .635mg to .005mg-Aug’23 ;may’22 drop .01mg/mo the last .16mg- severe acute, akathisia,in dark closet for 10 wks -eyes severe any light aka worse. beta blockers once -worse, spec clonidine-severe reaction. Severe SI and attempt - Psych hospitals Nov/Dec23- multiple meds one off, Depakote 10 days 250mg, ECt twice ugh muscle relaxer ketamine and propofol 12/2/23- psych hosp 7.5mg Mirtazapine for severe aka, myoclonic jolts, eye issues and no benefit . 12/10- forced 15mg 5 days, 7.5 since 12/15/23 .home 12/18. covid + 12/22/23. Neg 12/30. hell on mirt adverse effects(severe RLS, aka worse,brain racing/swirling, eye flashing, jolts) after dose Comp liq early Feb; 6.1mg 5/10/24 Severe neuro issues, aka on and off 100+ symptoms thru K taper and on Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 18 Author Share Posted March 18 @Boges11 Would it be OK if I DM'd you some questions? Totally fine if that's not good for you in any way. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 18 Author Share Posted March 18 15 hours ago, Boges11 said: Hugs, right there with you @Bailey. im so sorry you have aka so bad and may it lift for us soon! hugs and reach out as you need to, lean on whoever you can. This is so inhumane and we are here for each other. hugs- k @Boges11 Would it be OK if I messaged you some questions? Totally fine and understandable if that's not good for you in any way. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 @LotusRising Having me go in-patient is on the table for my savage and si akathisia. I sometimes feel (and look) like wild animal with rabies, especially for first few hours of the day. It's so explosive and violent, tbh. And the internal horror and terror is beyond anything I can put words to. Torment doesn't even begin to cover it. If this happens, that I go to the ER and/or am in-patiented (being discussed by family), any recommendations? Do you know if any of the moderators/admins would have experience in this area? 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 20 Mentor Share Posted March 20 @Bailey, If you go to the ER you can expect to be offered some type of drug - A Beta blocker, benzo, or another SSRI. Also, because they most likely will not understand antidepressant withdrawal syndrome, they will want to run whatever tests they have at their disposal. I'm not telling you to not go, but I just want you to be aware of what to expect if you do go there. If you feel that being in a medical environment will somehow keep you from harming yourself, then that is your decision to make, but they will try to treat you with more drugs, which could worsen things for you. Of course, you can just refuse anything they want to give you, but they will be bewildered why you would refuse it because in their eyes it will help. Please hold on to the knowledge that you have gained from this site. We care about you very much and hope that you will continue to keep us updated on what's going on with you. Time and patience will be your greatest healers, and we are always here to support you. Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 38 minutes ago, Catina7 said: @Bailey, If you go to the ER you can expect to be offered some type of drug - A Beta blocker, benzo, or another SSRI. Also, because they most likely will not understand antidepressant withdrawal syndrome, they will want to run whatever tests they have at their disposal. I'm not telling you to not go, but I just want you to be aware of what to expect if you do go there. If you feel that being in a medical environment will somehow keep you from harming yourself, then that is your decision to make, but they will try to treat you with more drugs, which could worsen things for you. Of course, you can just refuse anything they want to give you, but they will be bewildered why you would refuse it because in their eyes it will help. Please hold on to the knowledge that you have gained from this site. We care about you very much and hope that you will continue to keep us updated on what's going on with you. Time and patience will be your greatest healers, and we are always here to support you. @Catina7 What if family insists you go? When Akathisia is at its worst, I would be the kicking, screaming one being brought through the doors. I also heard my sister and her friend talking about a facility in MD. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 20 Mentor Share Posted March 20 I will respond later. I have to leave soon to put down my cat of 15 years. I'm sure @LotusRising will respond when she gets a chance. Hang in there! Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 40 minutes ago, Catina7 said: I will respond later. I have to leave soon to put down my cat of 15 years. I'm so sorry about your cat @Catina7. Big hug. ❤️ 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Mentor Catina7 Posted March 20 Mentor Share Posted March 20 1 hour ago, Bailey said: I'm so sorry about your cat @Catina7. Big hug. ❤️ Thank you. I'm back now from the vet and am a total wreck. Back to your situation....does your family understand at all what's going on? What do they think the hospital will do for you? Disclaimer: This is not professional medical advice but is based on personal experience only. 1994 - 2017: Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Paxil, Wellbutrin, Zoloft, Seroquel, Buspar, Lorazepam, Xanax, Ambien 2005-present: Trazodone 50 mg 2017: Effexor XR 37.5 >> 75 mg 2020 (March): Began 10% monthly taper of Effexor XR (got down to 12 mg) 2021 (September): Completely crashed. Went back up to 37.5 mg but in doing so I kindled myself 2024: 1/1: 35.6 mg (-6 beads) | 2/1: 33.8 mg (-11 beads) | 3/1: 32.1 mg (-16 beads) | 4/1: (-18 beads) | 5/1: (-21 beads) Reasons for starting psych meds: PMDD/Depression, Generalized Anxiety Disorder Other medications: Levothyroxine 75 mcg Supplements: Dr. Berg's Electrolyte Powder on occasion Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 1 hour ago, Catina7 said: Thank you. I'm back now from the vet and am a total wreck. Back to your situation....does your family understand at all what's going on? What do they think the hospital will do for you? Again, so sorry about the loss of your feline friend. They hope that the hospital or hospital would do something different. I've been in a dire, extreme state for so long. And the akathisia is crazy and is absolute torment, torture and horror. It would be just hoping that something different, a different path would work. My friends think this, too. They say this can't continue like this. I'm in dire straits most days and most hours of every day. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 Hi @Bailey I've read through parts of your intro and I've wanted to help. I kept hoping you would have some relief by now. Have you cut coffee and caffeine completely out? Including green teas and chocolate? No CBD or alcohol? I get the cortisol rush anywhere from 2am thru to 8 am. Are you practicing good sleep hygiene - blackout curtains/blinds, no devices 2 hours before bed, same time to bed and rising? This has helped me immensely. No strenuous exercise, just gentle nature walks or 20-30 minutes walking on a treadmill. For my restless legs and burning I do self massage with an organic lavender lotion. As for the drug: is the suspension liquid using the same manufacturer as the pills you were using. I react horribly to different manufacturers. Some struggle to transition to liquid and have to revert back to the pill. Can you purchase a scale (gem 20 on Amazon) and go back to dry cutting using the scale and a one-sided razor blade? Because you changed dose and method it might be too much for your system. Another member on paroxetine is struggling for over a month with the change to liquid as well. Have you looked at anything from Claire Weekes? Her book Hope and Help for Your Nerves is excellent. Accepting and not fighting the symptoms has helped me alot. Have no expectations for yourself. Love yourself without judgement and be kind. So sorry you are dealing with this.♥️ 1 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 3 minutes ago, Bailey said: They hope that the hospital or hospital would do something different. Unfortunately they have been schooled by big pharma. You need time and patience and understanding. It is an iatrogenic illness. Drug and doctor induced. 2 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 @LostInCanada Thanks for responding. Absolutely no caffeine since January 5. No CBD or alcohol either. I switched to liquid on November 18 2023. I was having trouble cutting the tiny tiny pills in half so my doctor switched to liquid when putting me at the equivalent of 15mg. That said, I think the syringe I'm using probably pulls in more than the 7.5ml/15mg. I didn't know anything about picking out syringes either when this started. It's a kid's EZY Dose syringe off of Amazon that stops at 7.5ml which I thought would be helpful and was why I got it since the pharmacy didn't provide one. I doubt it's precise, though, and it has a sort of large tip. I've been trying so hard to do everything exactly the same way every day in order to stabilize and haven't made changes. I don't have a scale and it's beyond me to figure that out in my extreme condition. I'm pretty sure I couldn't get those super tiny pills weighed accurately. I keep hoping that my body is making adjustments to both the drop, which I now know was too big, and the liquid formulation. I had no idea that there was an adjustment to different formulations. I just did what my doctor said. I wish I could go back up to 20mg (and then taper the right way) but when I tried back in November about a month after the drop to 10mg, I believe I had a kindling response. It was awful. So, my doctor put me back up to the 15mg liquid equivalent, 7.5ml (pretty sure a different manufacturer than the pills). So many mistakes. I simply had no idea about anything. I wonder if there's something else I could be doing. I've wondered about trying to go back to a pill form but not sure if that would set off another big shift to my hypersensitive system, and, like I said, I wouldn't even know how to do it accurately. My akathisia is explosive and suicidal. I'm in desperate, dire shape when I get up. It's like something is exploding in me and I try to move the energy out in my convulsive state. I can't even walk straight and crash into walls because of the convulsions and limb jerking. Oh yes, dark bedroom in the basement so no light is coming in and bedtime is 10pm every night. No screen time before then. I sleep in terror and wake up a lot in terror. No real sleep to speak of. I really thought by now that I'd be experiencing more glimmers of healing. My doctor also had me drop the last of my hormone cream 3 weeks ago which I'm sure isn't helping. The U.S. FDA changed formulations and she thought that would be worse on my system and also said the hormones were activating. I feel without hope and only have barely a toe-hold on life. Do you think if I keep everything the same (i.e., the liquid) that I can still heal? Should I seek out help and try to do something different? I'm also in these paralyzing thought loops about all this. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 @Bailey you will heal if you keep everything the same. It may just take longer because of the immediate change to liquid. Usually it is recommended to go gradually from pill to liquid but that is in a perfect world. "We" have all made so many mistakes. I use the term we loosely since all of us have been thrust into an extreme situation with absolutely no medical help. I know you feel like you should be doing something but right now doing nothing but staying the course is best. My lowest darkest moments were experiencing SI. Keep reminding yourself this is the drug not you. Your body knows what to do and it will heal. I am positive you are also battling hormonal changes. It sounds like you are doing so much right. Though in a dark room I sleep with a red night light. That has helped me with moments of terror. Also telling myself I am safe, it is just my body over reacting with adrenaline. ♥️ 1 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 35 minutes ago, Bailey said: I had no idea that there was an adjustment to different formulations. Call the pharmacy to find out the manufacturer when you were stable. See if it was the same manufacturer through your rapid taper and now. If it is a different manufacturer see if you can go back to the original one. If it is the same manufacturer then you know that is not causing any issues. I have the manufacturer's name on my file and double check everytime. Also always check drug name and dosage. I have had the pharmacy get it wrong as well. ❤️ 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 (edited) 26 minutes ago, LostInCanada said: Call the pharmacy to find out the manufacturer when you were stable. See if it was the same manufacturer through your rapid taper and now. If it is a different manufacturer see if you can go back to the original one. If it is the same manufacturer then you know that is not causing any issues. I have the manufacturer's name on my file and double check everytime. Also always check drug name and dosage. I have had the pharmacy get it wrong as well. ❤️ @LostInCanada As for the pill form, I had been stable on 2x10mg tablets and worked with those to go down to 10mg in October and November. There wasn't a manufacturer change for the too rapid taper. But then I was switched to liquid on Nov. 18. There's only one manufacturer for the liquid. That's been the same since Nov 18. Is that what you mean? Should I stay with that so I can stabilize on it? I imagine the pill form I was on back in early I'm hoping I'll stabilize with all these changes. I feel like I've made every mistake possible even though it was with a doctor (of course). I'm getting scared as I think about it and type because I have these terrible paralyzing thought loops that have really picked up in recent weeks. Did you have that? What did you do? The red light is a good idea. Edited March 20 by Bailey 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 3 minutes ago, Bailey said: That's the same each month Yes that is what I mean. Good that's consistent. The pill could be the same manufacturer. In Canada no one makes the liquid. Each pharmacy just grinds whatever pill up and puts it in a suspension like Ora plus. So having a manufactured liquid is much more consistent. 👍 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 5 minutes ago, LostInCanada said: Yes that is what I mean. Good that's consistent. The pill could be the same manufacturer. In Canada no one makes the liquid. Each pharmacy just grinds whatever pill up and puts it in a suspension like Ora plus. So having a manufactured liquid is much more consistent. 👍 @LostInCanadaOh, I see. Yes, I think there's just one manufacturer for the liquid in the U.S. and that stays the same. So I've been destabilized but on the same manufacturer liquid since Nov. 18 2023. Hopefully things will even out. Thanks for the reassurance there. As I said in my earlier response, I've started to get into these terrible terrifying thought loops in recent weeks. This is fodder for one of those. Did you have those and what did you do? I get paralyzed. I was never like this before. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 12 minutes ago, Bailey said: I'm getting scared as I think about it and type because I have these terrible paralyzing thought loops I did. I just tried to keep talking to myself with reassurance and not overly fight it. I would repeat this too will pass. Would it help to write the thought down and then when you are going to think about it say no it's written down and I will take care of it later? I tried to apply some CBT methods which did help a bit. The problem is it is a drug response that isn't rational. Deep breaths and exhaling through the mouth is still my best go to. Because I cold turkeyed from 30 mg, reinstatement of 5 mg resolved the worst symptoms and honestly after 15 months I am still stabilizing and healing. You will get better. 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
LostInCanada Posted March 20 Share Posted March 20 9 minutes ago, Bailey said: I was never like this before. This is how we know it is not some relapse but is indeed the drug and withdrawals. 20 yr+ Paroxetine/ Dec2018-May 2022 20 mg/ May 2022 30mg/2022.07.28-2022.08.24 30mg to 0mg/ August 24-29 2022 10mg Prozac/2022.11.28-2022.12.04- 5mg Paroxetine/Dec 5&6/22 10mg Paroxetine/ Dec 8&9/22 10mg Prozac/ 2022.12.07 to 2023.07.01 5mg Paroxetine TAPER 23.07.02-58mgpw/4.9mgai/ 23.07.21-4.8 mg/23.07.28-4.73 mg/23.08.04-4.65 mg/21.09.23-4.58 mg/27.10.23-4.56 mg/5.12.23-4.54 mg/2.1.24-4.52 mg/9.1.24-4.51 mg/17.1.24-4.49 mg/26.1.24-4.47 mg/6.2.24-4.46 mg/19.2.24-4.44mg /4.4.24-4.43mg/28.4.24-4.4mg/5.5.24-4.39 mg 8am-probiotics/9am-paroxetine, 200mg mag bisglycinate/ 1000mg Vitamin D/noon-1000 mg algae oil (500mg DHA/10mg EPA/620mg Omega 3)/5pm-75 mg DGL/200mg calcium citrate/8pm-.25 mg melatonin "... your strength will be in keeping calm..."-Isaiah 30:15 I am not a medical professional just your peer. The suggestions I give are based on personal experience and/or the well documented experience of others. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 4 minutes ago, LostInCanada said: I did. I just tried to keep talking to myself with reassurance and not overly fight it. I would repeat this too will pass. Would it help to write the thought down and then when you are going to think about it say no it's written down and I will take care of it later? I tried to apply some CBT methods which did help a bit. The problem is it is a drug response that isn't rational. Deep breaths and exhaling through the mouth is still my best go to. Because I cold turkeyed from 30 mg, reinstatement of 5 mg resolved the worst symptoms and honestly after 15 months I am still stabilizing and healing. You will get better. Thank you for the reassurance @LostInCanada. Yes, I suppose I could write it down though that's fearful, too. I suppose it'll just keep going round and round no matter what so maybe I should give it a try. That you reinstated a bit makes me wonder if I should try that. I really wish I could go back up to 20mg and just have the tablet, not the liquid. But, I did have a really bad reaction when I tried. Thanks again. 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
Bailey Posted March 20 Author Share Posted March 20 1 minute ago, LostInCanada said: This is how we know it is not some relapse but is indeed the drug and withdrawals. Ah, OK. That's important. Thank you. 1 1996 Effexor XR 1996-2012 Prozac and Klonipin 2012: physician took me off Prozac rapidly. Severe (unrecognized) withdrawal. Went inpatient and was poly-drugged -- rapid changes of SSRIs, antipsychotics and benzodiazepines. 2012 Paxil 40mg 2012 Xanax XR 6mg 2019 Xanax XR .5mg (tapered down to this level since being prescribed in 2012) 2014-2022 Gabapentin (tapered down to zero from 1800mg) May 2023 HRT - estriol, estradiol, testosterone, progesterone. Dec. 8, 2023 - stopped progesterone pill (started having awful reactions); inconsistent with estrogen and testosterone combined cream in confusion of severe withdrawal symptoms. Dec. 14, 2023: Estrogen/testosterone cream: Back on about 1/4 amount I was taking previously of estrogen and testosterone cream (1.5 pumps out of 4 -- full amount seemed to ignite some kind of fire in my hyper sensitive state); did not resume progesterone (b/c of bad reactions after taking in WD) December 2022: Paxil 40 to 30mg (went OK); May 2023: Paxil 30 to 20 mg (went OK); Oct. 14, 2023: Paxil 15mg; Oct. 21, 2023: Paxil 10mg (done w/ conventionaldoc -- bottom dropped out 3 weeks later) Nov. 9, 2023: tried reinstating to 20mg but reacted very badly (probably kindling) November 18, 2023: 7.5ml (15mg equivalent) *switch to manufacturer's liquid, Novatium* Conventional psych doc switched me to 7.5ml liquid b/c tiny pills were splitting unevenly - further destabilization by both switching to liquid and changing dose at same time. November 2023 - present: *severe* withdrawal symptoms, akathisia Dec. 6 - manufacturer change on alprazolam er (further destabilization?). Normal mfr very difficult to find now. Jan 6 2024 - stopped coffee and all forms of caffeine. Eliminated dairy, processed foods, sugar. Gluten intolerant so no gluten. Low fodmap diet for gut issues, daily leafy greens, a lot of protein to avoid blood sugar spikes after meals and also for akathisia. Feb 27 2024 - doc had me stop hormone cream. FDA-required formulation had changed and she was worried about my transition to something new. She also said that the estrogen/testosterone hormones are activating. I had already dropped a good bit in dose early in withdrawal (Dec 14 2023 above) b/c it got lost in the chaos of early withdrawal. March 2024 - doctor having me try propranolol for akathisia. First as needed starting around Mar 7 and then daily starting around Mar 23. (aka very bad in morning especially) Apr 2 2024 - stopped daily propranolol. Think it was interefering with sleep and causing other side effects. Will use as prn. supplements: magnesium glycinate 150mg - trying to taper up by 25mg each week or so. Link to comment
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