JayP80: My journey so far.

[JayP80]

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health. 

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I think what the doctors did to you regarding your drugs was terrible - the direct switches with no gradual bridging, putting you on a drug carousel, increasing doses when you were already having the side effects, etc.  Unfortunately, many doctors are notorious for doing this sort of thing.  We will try to help you sort this out. 

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs and supplements you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  Please only give us drug names, dosages, and dates, as best you can remember.  Just provide a very brief summary of the information you gave us in your intro post in a list format.  Please read the link below for instructions.  

 

How to List Your Drug History in Your Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and be very cautious about changing our doses: 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

Tapering is best done extremely slowly, and we generally taper by 10% of the current dose no more than once every 4 weeks, so that the reduction becomes exponentially smaller.

 

 Why Taper by 10% of my Dosage  

 

Tips for Tapering Lexapro

 

You asked about supplements.  We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

On 3/7/2024 at 4:13 AM, JayP80 said:

I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck

It is quite likely that your symptoms are being caused by all of the drug changes and switches, not to mention the adverse reactions you have had to these drugs.  Your nervous system is probably confused and destabilized by all of this.  The best thing to do at this point, is to stop making any drug changes/switches, and stick with your 10 mg of Lexapro for a while.  This should allow your nervous system to stabilize. Then, once you are stable, you can do a very slow and cautious taper of the Lexapro. That's the way out of this mess.  If you watched the video in the second link I gave you, it will help you understand why your brain has become destabilized.  

 

It is very important to avoid alcohol, and any other mind altering substances.  Don't skip or miss any doses, and take it at the same time each day.  Try to avoid excess stress and drama, and do things that calm and soothe you.  Eat a clean healthy diet, do gentle exercise (walks outside are great), and get plenty of fluids.  The way to have healing is time and natural self care.  The bad news is it takes a lot of time, but the good news is that there is healing eventually.  Hang in there. 

[JayP80]

@getofflexThank you so much for your reply and words of encouragement. I have just tried to do my Signature but it's not seeming to save. Can someone advise? I'm sticking to 10mg Escitalopram to stabilize but i'm not sure what stabilized feels like as I currently have tremors all over, vibrations, slight brain zaps and constant muscle spasms and cramps in my calves, and when I exercise they get worse after. Also sporadic spasms over body, and pain in body all over. Thank you again.  

[OffPills]

Hi @JayP80,

 

What terrible symptoms you describe! I also have been on citalopram for a long time, and when reading your signature, I’m thinking that your symptoms can easily still be the withdrawal from stopping citalopram last year. In my case a lot of wd symptoms started months after stopping citalopram.

 

I hope you’ll start to feel better soon. stay strong!

[JayP80]

@OffPills Thank you for your response. It’s hard to distinguish what I’m withdrawing from. My only saving grace is I’m only 10mg Escitalopram now so hopefully the other drugs are out of my system and this one is the last. Have to hopefully stabilise on this before moving down. It’s so hard. But have to imagine life getting better. I physically hate my doctors and health care I’ve had but the anger won’t help. It’ll make it worse. Just got to recognise the good moments when they appear. All the best OffPills. I hope you succeed. Here if you ever need to chat. 

[OffPills]

You’re welcome @JayP80!
 

What I forgot to mention is that I think it was wise to stop the Buspirone, not only because of the side effects, but you were put on a cocktail of meds, not good in my opinion. Your doctor decreasing the dose of escitalopram from 20 to 10mg overnight was also a big jump. 
 

Let’s hope you will stabilize and feel better soon. And thank you for your kind words!

 

 

[getofflex]

4 hours ago, JayP80 said:

so hopefully the other drugs are out of my system

With psych drugs, the issue isn't just getting the drugs out of our system.  It's that the brain needs to readjust as we taper off drugs, which takes much longer than just getting the drugs out of our system.  Please carefully read this link:  How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

I do see your signature, so it looks like it's been saved.  Thank you.  

 

4 hours ago, OffPills said:

decreasing the dose of escitalopram from 20 to 10mg overnight was also a big jump. 

This will probably not be a big issue. This is because even at only 10 milligrams of Lexapro, just about all of your serotonin receptors are affected.  The large reductions become more of an issue when we go under 10 mg.  

 

9 hours ago, JayP80 said:

i'm not sure what stabilized feels like as I currently have tremors all over, vibrations, slight brain zaps and constant muscle spasms and cramps in my calves, and when I exercise they get worse after. Also sporadic spasms over body, and pain in body all over.

You are not stabilized now based on these symptoms.  Stability is when we are not having major ups and downs, or major symptoms.  We may still feel bad, but it's bearable, and somewhat the same day to day.  This link explains it more:  Stability

 

9 hours ago, JayP80 said:

when I exercise they get worse after.

In that case, I would back off the exercise - intense exercise can exacerbate withdrawal symptoms.  I also have exercise intolerance, so I mainly go for walks outside.  Someday, you should be able to exercise more intensely. 

[Farm24]

22 hours ago, JayP80 said:

@OffPills Thank you for your response. It’s hard to distinguish what I’m withdrawing from. My only saving grace is I’m only 10mg Escitalopram now so hopefully the other drugs are out of my system and this one is the last. Have to hopefully stabilise on this before moving down. It’s so hard. But have to imagine life getting better. I physically hate my doctors and health care I’ve had but the anger won’t help. It’ll make it worse. Just got to recognise the good moments when they appear. All the best OffPills. I hope you succeed. Here if you ever need to chat. 

Are your muscle contractions only in your calves?

[OffPills]

On 3/12/2024 at 12:11 AM, getofflex said:

This will probably not be a big issue. This is because even at only 10 milligrams of Lexapro, just about all of your serotonin receptors are affected.  The large reductions become more of an issue when we go under 10 mg.

Could be, but this is not my experience after 20 years of SSRI’s. Tapering when above 10mg is hard and can have serious wd symptoms. It does seem to get more difficult to taper further after 10mg yes, because of the ‘receptor occupancy’, but stating that its ‘probably not an issue’ to taper with big steps like 50% is bad advise, and contradicting to the 10% taper. 

[getofflex]

On 3/13/2024 at 3:20 AM, OffPills said:

because of the ‘receptor occupancy’, but stating that its ‘probably not an issue’ to taper with big steps like 50% is bad advise, and contradicting to the 10% taper. 

I didn't say that that is was OK to taper with big steps like 50%.  I'm not advising that people do this.  What I said was, in his particular case, since he had already reduced from 20 mg to 10 mg, as advised by his doctor, that it is that it was probably not a big issue for him.  He has already indicated that he had adverse reactions to all the antidepressants.  When one has an ADR, we generally advise that they avoid the very high doses.  Twenty mg. of Lexapro is a high dose.  And, I said "probably", so this is my guess.   I appreciate the fact that your experience is different.  

 

 

 

 

[Farm24]

On 3/7/2024 at 5:13 AM, JayP80 said:

I hope you are well. I am on Escitalopram 10mg reduced overnight from 20mg. After being on this specific medication for 7 months and having been on Citalopram from the age of 22. Meaning I have been on an SSRI for 22 years. Last year after my breakdown in April (I’m actually thinking it might have been my medication stopping working that caused all this) I was put on Venlafaxine immediately without any tapering off citalopram for 2 weeks (Actually wanted to commit suicide due to that drugs side effects) I was then put on Sertraline without any tapering off Venlafaxine. That caused incredibly unpleasant side effects. In August without tapering again I was put on Escitalopram 10mg then two months later upped to 20mg to “give it a go” by psychiatrists. Not one of these medications have worked and have made me worse. Come more recently I suggested I wanted to wean off Escitalopram because I felt constantly in fight or flight. That was about a month ago. I was then prescribed buspirone 5mg x 3 a day and had my Escitalopram reduced to 10mg overnight, no tapering. A week into that regime I stopped Buspirone of my own accord and am currently on just the 10mg of Escitalopram that hadn’t been working in the first place. I actually think I’ve been withdrawing from all the antidepressants since April in some peculiar way. Since I first started antidepressants in 2002 I haven’t once had a doctor review my medication, not once have they asked me about coming off, the only time things changed is to up my medication or “give another” on a go. Today I have chronic muscle twitches, that don’t stop. My mind is clearer bizarrely and less brain fog but my physical symptoms are another matter, I’m aching considerably, I wake up shaking in the morning, and the cold makes my body shiver uncontrollably. The muscle twitches in my legs are 24 hours a day every minute. I try to go to the gym but it’s hard as my calves cramp. I have contacted a nutritionist as I’ve had dozens of blood tests thinking something must be out of sync, deficient. I’m on a good diet plan of protein and high fibre. And supplements. I currently don't know where to turn or what to do, as I am now on 10mg Escitalopram only, I don't know whether to go up gradually to try and resolve these physical constant muscle spasms/twitches even though the medication itself offered me no relief from anxiety/depression etc and actually made me 100 times worse, or to taper down. Either way I'm stuck. My body is a mess, that was once absolutely fine, it's now all over the place. Something that’s keeping me going is knowing someone is highlighting the daily struggle of these drugs and the complete disregard for the patients that are prescribed them. I hope this email reaches you all in good health. 

How are you doing now?