apace41: tapering Zoloft / sertraline

[Frogie]

Hi Andy:

 

Just wanted to stop by and say thank you for being there for me, even every 10 minutes that I post something.

 

You are the best.

 

You deserve a HUGE window and I keep hoping for one for you.

 

Thanks again...

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[AmyK]

Andy, thankyou for sharing. I have felt like you on many, many days. Just counting down, and pretending, "faking" it with family.

I dont have anything wise to say, except you are not alone! And that it wont last forever. I could not ever see my taper come to an end. But soon I am there. And your day will come too. Just keep on.

Many hugs,

Amy

[apace41]

Just wanted to stop by and say thank you for being there for me, even every 10 minutes that I post something.

 

You are the best.

 

You deserve a HUGE window and I keep hoping for one for you.

 

Thanks, Frogie.  That was sweet of you.

 

Here's hoping that your hoping pays off.  

 

Best,

 

Andy

[apace41]

I dont have anything wise to say, except you are not alone! And that it wont last forever. I could not ever see my taper come to an end. But soon I am there. And your day will come too. Just keep on.

 

In my estimation, Amy, contrary to your statement, this is pretty wise.  

 

Thanks for always coming by and getting me to post.

 

So excited for you to be done.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Shep]

The other difficulty for me is that my outlet in the past has always been exercise and sports. If something was bothering me I would go out and run or lift or play soccer or... With all the pain I have in my body and the limitations of my hips and knees, I am extremely limited in what I can do.  I try to get to the gym a couple of days a week, but it's mostly stretching and a little cardio and a little lifting.  Not very satisfying.

 

So, long story short I am continuing to work my regular work schedule and I come home each day and basically spend my time on the computer and watching TV. Then I have a less than satisfactory night of sleep and I get up and do it all over again.  Weekends are pretty much the same without work (more sports on TV) except that I struggle through a list of chores from my wife (who doesn't "get" withdrawal so I don't discuss it).

 

 

 

 

Hi, Andy.

 

I'm sorry you're very so low right now, but glad you have ways of holding onto hope.That's very important. 

 

Just a thought. From my own experience with dp/dr, being too mentally "closed in" with activities such as watching tv and spending time on the computer can be counter-intuitive to what dp/dr needs from us. I always like to think of this symptom as a teaching experience. It may be telling you something, if you listen closely. 

 

You also mentioned an uptick in anger. I have that too and long walks in nature do help that, too. I wonder if spending a lot of time watching sports may be intensifying this. Sports can be very stimulating to the nervous system. Also, watching a sport that you can no longer play can ramp up anger and make you feel powerless. At least it does for me. 

 

Are you able to go for a long walk in the evening around nature? Dp/dr needs nature and to find "grounding". This is when the most mystical elements of dp/dr can be explored and at times, nature really "calms" dp/dr in ways that nothing else can. This can also help the anger. And it gets you away from the tv and computer for awhile. 

 

Are there other sports that you might be able to enjoy at this point? Something that won't be too taxing and ramp up symptoms, but something that would get you out there and still in the game. Do you play golf? Or go bowling?  I say this as someone who was a long-distance runner before I got sick, so I do know how you feel. When I had to stop running, I hit the worst phase of my depression. I went into withdrawal from the runner's high I could no longer get whenever I needed it. I replaced it for long walks through the city and through a local park and that helps. Also, playing guitar and keyboard helps - even though these aren't sports, they are physical activities that work the fingers and you have to connect to the mind, so it's the mind/body connection that being stimulated. Very, very important for neuroplasticity. 

 

Perhaps finding a low-impact sport to replace your running and soccer could give you a way of helping with symptoms, as you mentioned being "a fixer". If the fatigue is too much now, perhaps not now but later on. It's good to stay in the game, even if you have to change games in order to participate. You'll be back to running and playing soccer as you heal, no doubt about that. 

 

I'm glad you got a good report from your cardiologist. 

 

Sending healing vibes your way. I hope you get a break from this soon. 

[apace41]

Thanks, Shep, as always for your kind words and insights.  It is a challenge at this stage because even the lower impact things you mention are difficult at this stage. The hip pain and back pain makes golf less than enjoyable (while I've always been decent I usually find myself tired and frustrated by the 11th hole in any event!).  I manage to get some exercise which invariably makes me feel better about myself and life (even if it does come with some pain in the aftermath).  I really need to get my head together and find a good restorative yoga class that I can start with.  The inability to act that comes with withdrawal is rearing its ugly head in that regard.

 

As far as sports on TV, you may be right but I confess to being a diehard fan of my local teams and I would probably be watching most, if not all, of the games if I were 100%.  So I live a little bit with FOMO (fear of missing out).  I have the advantage of living on a farm property with 180 acres and animals (cows/horses) behind me (we don't own that -- just the view) so I can "see" nature out my back window.  Just ordered a new hammock so I will be able to combine the resting and nature out there -- just have to take advantage as the weather gets better.

 

In a lot of ways, the process of recovery is about distraction and the passage of time.  All of the non-drug coping mechanisms are helpful as ways to cope and distract from what is happening so that healing has time to take place.  I was not born as a soul with a great deal of patience and having been raised in New York compounded my genetics in this regard.  So, when something like withdrawal hits with its typical recovering at the speed of a glacial melt, I am not particularly well-equipped to deal.  I suppose that will be one of the positives that comes out of this journey. 

 

Thanks for caring, Shep.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[AliG]

A . I'm not going to send words of wisdom as I know that you already know them . Suffice to say that I'm hoping the best for you. You're a smart dude - you know the story.

Hang in there.

Sending love and light . Ali 

[apace41]

Thanks, Ali.  You are one of the true rock stars of SA and I appreciate all of the things you do for the board.

 

Glad you stopped by.  Hope you are "traveling" well.  Gave you my best Aussie.  

 

Best,

 

Andy

[AliG]

 Yes. travel well.      That may be my term and not an Aussie - ism . I'm not sure. Whatever !      I'm sure you know what it means.

[Shep]

  I really need to get my head together and find a good restorative yoga class that I can start with.  The inability to act that comes with withdrawal is rearing its ugly head in that regard.

 

 

 

This is so much better than any of my ideas! Awesome. I hope you do find a restorative yoga class that will help.

 

Finding motivation is hard during withdrawal. But if you find ways of helping out with the pain, that may be a gamechanger for you.

 

Where you live sounds amazing, being able to heal around the calming influence of nature. 

[apace41]

Thanks, Shep.

 

I've finally decided to take a big step in the mindfulness direction.  Bought Full Catastrophe Living on Audible.

 

Gotta try and work on some better grounding in the hopes of alleviating some of the detachment.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Flowers]

Sounds good to me Andy.  I haven't heard of this one but I do Headspace and it helps me a lot. Never thought I would be able to do it but with practice it came.

 

Good Luck and let us know how you get on.

 

Flowers xxxx

[apace41]

Thanks, Flowers.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Frogie]

Hi Andy:

 

I know you said you were going to be gone for a few days.

 

But, I just found out that when I post something, for some reason, everyone thinks that I need an immediate response.

 

I don't know how else to ask a question, but to put it on my thread. I never expected it to be answered immediately or by just you. I'm only asking for advise like everyone else on this forum is doing.

 

I know everyone is healing here, and have their own problems.

 

I'm a very caring person if you know me. I don't wish bad things on anyone.

 

I'm sorry if I have "spent " you. That was not my intention at all.

 

I will stop posting, if that will help. When I do post like day xx, nausea or no nausea, that is for me. I'm keeping track for myself. No one needs to respond on that.

 

I hope you are doing well, and have a HUGE window, you deserve it.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[apace41]

So, it's June 1 and time for a monthly update.  

 

The withdrawal process continues to be the most perplexing thing that anyone can possibly fathom.  As a logical thinker, it run so counter to my very being to deal with something so seemingly unpredictable, random and mercurial.  Having said that, I think that if one believes in "the Universe" delivering what you need when it arrives, there is probably a good argument that learning to accept what happens in withdrawal, along with the notion that once has to abdicate a significant amount of "control" over one's life during the process, is exactly what I needed at this stage of my life.  At some point, when I am fully healed, I hope to be able to look back at this period and see that it was what put me in the proper position to more fully enjoy and appreciate the final chapters of my life.  Right now, of course, like most of you, I frequently cast about with anger and frustration, but my monthly entry is a time for quiet reflection as opposed to those more challenging emotions.

 

I find myself "cycling" between feeling decent and feeling unwell on a very rapid basis.  Sometimes this happens multiple times in a single day.  I suppose they are "windows" and "waves" of a sort but I believe most people describe those as lasting for a more meaningful period.  I'm not sure.  In any event, I have no doubt that if I were to go to a psychiatrist and simply describe my day I would be labelled very quickly "Bipolar 2" and sent marching with a complement of Zyprexa, Ability or Seroquel (or, given what I've seen over the years on this site, all three!).  Owing largely to this site, I realize that I am not bipolar -- just in withdrawal.

 

My symptom list seems to grow.  I feel a little like the kids in med school who contract "the disease of the week.'  Maybe I'd be better off never looking at Glenmullen's list of symptoms as it probably triggers my hypochondria (which, ironically, is itself a symptom for me).  My primary symptoms are:

 

My other symptoms include:

 

• Varying levels of disordered sleep (from complete insomnia last Spring to where I am now which is usually about 6 hours a night give or take)
• Anxiety that comes and goes, most notably health anxiety that comes and goes in waves (a sensation will one day convince me I'm having a heart attack and not affect me the slightest the next)
• Dp/dr that seems to be pretty constant although varying in degree
• A fair amount of anhedonia
• Periodic depression and hopelessness
• Increased fatigue
• Numbness and tingling in the extremities
• A sense of weakness
• Periodic tongue and mouth issues, combined with some difficulty getting thoughts out (exacerbated by dp/dr where I "see myself' having the conversation)
• A general sense of "slowness" where it feels like everything I'm doing is in slow motion
• Joint pain all over but especially in the hips (which my orthopod would like to replace but I'm holding out because I'm sure some portion (probably not all) is due to the withdrawal and not arthritis))

There are others that come and go at a very rapid rate.  I will have a symptom on waking and sometimes it will be gone by mid-morning.  The ones I listed are the ones that are regular visitors.

 

The things I do to try to cope are (in no specific order):

 

• Exercise -- I walk 15-20 minutes every morning and try to get to the gym in the late afternoon 3-4 days a week.  My workouts are nowhere near as physically demanding as they used to be, but they are good maintenance.  I could not do what I used to do because of the hip pain, and I'm fearful that too much of a workout would be triggering
• Heartmath -- I try to get in at least one 5 minute session as a means of working on training to improve heart rate variability (demonstrated to have a positive effect on the autonomic nervous system)
• Meditation -- I try to get in a 5-10 minute meditation immediately after the heartmath session; I never feel like I'm doing it "right" but am hoping that I'm still deriving benefit
• Breathing exercises -- I try to remember to do them when I'm taking my morning walk but am not as good about it as I'd like to be.  I think breathing properly can help in so many ways
• Journaling -- I am trying to keep track on a daily basis of how I'm feeling and also track my taper
• Learning -- I continue to read as much as I can about the brain, psych meds, healing and neuroplasticity as I believe that learning new things enhances the growth of new connections in the brain and allow for faster recovery
• Affirmations -- I subscribe on line to several sites that provide me positive quotes of the day and the like that allow me to divert from work stress and have a "positive interlude"
• Gratitude -- I subscribe to "Happyfeed" which prompts me in the late afternoon to stop and jot down 3 things that happened during the day that were good.
• Yoga -- I started up two weeks ago at a Saturday morning "gentle yoga" class (missed last week but intend to keep going) as the benefits of yoga/breathing and the positions as a form of discipline, muscle stretching, etc. is hard to refute
• CBT -- I went for 5 weeks to a CBT practitioner and we did some work that gave me some good ideas about reframing thought processes, etc.

 

I would love to be able to report that all of the foregoing have turned my life around in a measurable way and I have seen great progress in my recovery.  Alas, that would be an untruth and would not serve me or anyone else here.  I have very small, sometimes barely noticeable, glimpses that things will be okay.  They are fleeting and leave almost as soon as they arrive but they do serve to change the game for me.  I can look back at them and believe that there will be a good outcome.  The question that continues to arise is "when" and "how long?"  I continue to stick to my knitting, work at my job and do the things I always did as a husband and father, only without feeling very connected to it all and with a great deal more effort being required than prior to this process.  For example, my wife decided our kitchen cabinets could use painting and, rather than hire my contractor, I decided to do it myself.  Very big job but I am slogging through it.  I notice at times that I am a little more connected to it than I would have been a little while ago, but it's hard to say.  I do find the distraction helpful as spending a lot of time thinking about how I'm feeling is definitely not good for me.  

 

I frequently find myself wondering how much of what I feel is the result of my benzo taper and how much is the result of my SSRI taper.  It is very, very difficult to parse this all out and gives me an incredible sense of awe when I think about people like Rhi and Shep who were polydrugged with 4 and 5 meds.  I am amazed that people come through it and that gives me hope for healing.  I have come to conclude that it, other than from an academic standpoint, what is the cause of my current symptoms is not really important because the answer would not drive different action on my part.  I have tried a ton of different supplements and tossed most of them after a few days, feeling agitated and concluding they didn't help and might be harming.  I still take the following:

 

• Vitamin C
• Vitamin D
• Fish Oil
• Magnesium
• Curcumin
• L-theanin
• Valerian 

These are generally "safe" for most people from what I've seen and will counteract some of the inflammatory processes that have been going on in my body for some time.  Given my generally very good diet and the other things I do, I believe the inflammation is due to the drugs and the destruction of my autonomic nervous system.  The only thing that is likely to heal that (in addition to the coping strategies which will provide modest support) is time.  

 

And so I soldier on with the hope that things will start to lift as I get lower on the medication.  My current taper program is to drop .2ml (.4mg) every week in a microtaper with one week hold at the end.  Credit to Tom (BrassMonkey) for this "slide" approach that allows for something approximating a true microtaper.  I have reduced to 16mg so my next reduction (Saturday) of .4mg will be a 2.5% reduction.  I recognize that I get a little lower I will need to make smaller reductions but these are good for now and easy because the syringe is well-marked in.2ml increments.  

 

I confess to being absolutely shocked at how difficult this process is and having some moments where I can't even fathom being off the drug and feeling better, but I believe that it is out there so I continue on.  Regardless, the alternative seems worse to me.  When I read success stories of people like Tom and Pug I am both heartened (for them and for the rest of us) and jealous as all get out.  

 

What I wouldn't do for a good cup of coffee in the morning and nice cold beer at night!

 

With that thought, I will take my leave.

 

Best to all,

 

Andy

[brassmonkey]

Small glimpses, ripples and peepholes. That's how it all starts. Now they will just build from there.  Glimpses into realizations, peepholes into windows and with any luck the ripples won't develop into waves.  It's been along painful slog, but I can see from this post that the corner is being turned.  You're doing everything you can to "out wit and out play" now it's just a matter of "out lasting". I truly am tearing up being happy for you.

 

Brass

[apace41]

As has often been said, Tom, "from your lips to God's ears."
 

As always, I appreciate your support and encouragement. Glad you had fun in China and that you are recovering from the sinus hit you took.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[divalee]

So, it's June 1 and time for a monthly update.  

 

The withdrawal process continues to be the most perplexing thing that anyone can possibly fathom.  As a logical thinker, it run so counter to my very being to deal with something so seemingly unpredictable, random and mercurial.  Having said that, I think that if one believes in "the Universe" delivering what you need when it arrives, there is probably a good argument that learning to accept what happens in withdrawal, along with the notion that once has to abdicate a significant amount of "control" over one's life during the process, is exactly what I needed at this stage of my life.  At some point, when I am fully healed, I hope to be able to look back at this period and see that it was what put me in the proper position to more fully enjoy and appreciate the final chapters of my life.  Right now, of course, like most of you, I frequently cast about with anger and frustration, but my monthly entry is a time for quiet reflection as opposed to those more challenging emotions.

 

I find myself "cycling" between feeling decent and feeling unwell on a very rapid basis.  Sometimes this happens multiple times in a single day.  I suppose they are "windows" and "waves" of a sort but I believe most people describe those as lasting for a more meaningful period.  I'm not sure.  In any event, I have no doubt that if I were to go to a psychiatrist and simply describe my day I would be labelled very quickly "Bipolar 2" and sent marching with a complement of Zyprexa, Ability or Seroquel (or, given what I've seen over the years on this site, all three!).  Owing largely to this site, I realize that I am not bipolar -- just in withdrawal.

 

My symptom list seems to grow.  I feel a little like the kids in med school who contract "the disease of the week.'  Maybe I'd be better off never looking at Glenmullen's list of symptoms as it probably triggers my hypochondria (which, ironically, is itself a symptom for me).  My primary symptoms are:

 

My other symptoms include:

• Varying levels of disordered sleep (from complete insomnia last Spring to where I am now which is usually about 6 hours a night give or take)
• Anxiety that comes and goes, most notably health anxiety that comes and goes in waves (a sensation will one day convince me I'm having a heart attack and not affect me the slightest the next)
• Dp/dr that seems to be pretty constant although varying in degree
• A fair amount of anhedonia
• Periodic depression and hopelessness
• Increased fatigue
• Numbness and tingling in the extremities
• A sense of weakness
• Periodic tongue and mouth issues, combined with some difficulty getting thoughts out (exacerbated by dp/dr where I "see myself' having the conversation)
• A general sense of "slowness" where it feels like everything I'm doing is in slow motion
• Joint pain all over but especially in the hips (which my orthopod would like to replace but I'm holding out because I'm sure some portion (probably not all) is due to the withdrawal and not arthritis))

There are others that come and go at a very rapid rate.  I will have a symptom on waking and sometimes it will be gone by mid-morning.  The ones I listed are the ones that are regular visitors.

 ...

 

Dear Andy, I had no idea what you are going through.  This is the first time I am reading your monthly review. 

 

You are doing everything you can to help yourself - you are an inspiration.

 

I have some of those symptoms you have - my worst one is visual disturbance and my head is never clear - I have many symptoms but I persevere, just like you are doing

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers that these WDs will leave you sooner than later.

 

Stay well and take good care of yourself.

 

Lee (f)

xxxx

[Shep]

So, it's June 1 and time for a monthly update.  

 

The withdrawal process continues to be the most perplexing thing that anyone can possibly fathom.  As a logical thinker, it run so counter to my very being to deal with something so seemingly unpredictable, random and mercurial.  Having said that, I think that if one believes in "the Universe" delivering what you need when it arrives, there is probably a good argument that learning to accept what happens in withdrawal, along with the notion that once has to abdicate a significant amount of "control" over one's life during the process, is exactly what I needed at this stage of my life.  At some point, when I am fully healed, I hope to be able to look back at this period and see that it was what put me in the proper position to more fully enjoy and appreciate the final chapters of my life. 

 

 

Andy, 

 

This is such a beautiful piece of insight. It has a "letting go" vibe to it and I have to wonder if perhaps this is one reason you are sleeping better now than you were last spring. 

 

I think this journey has many "evolutionary" aspects to it and from that standpoint, you are doing phenomenally well. 

 

 

 

• Gratitude -- I subscribe to "Happyfeed" which prompts me in the late afternoon to stop and jot down 3 things that happened during the day that were good.
• Yoga -- I started up two weeks ago at a Saturday morning "gentle yoga" class (missed last week but intend to keep going) as the benefits of yoga/breathing and the positions as a form of discipline, muscle stretching, etc. is hard to refute

 

 

 

 

 

Gratitude is powerful. I never heard of Happyfeed. Is that a phone app? 

 

I'm so glad you are doing a "gentle yoga" class. I hope it helps with your hip pain. I didn't realize it was so bad your ortho doc mentioned replacement. Wishing you much healing so it doesn't come to that. 

 

I frequently find myself wondering how much of what I feel is the result of my benzo taper and how much is the result of my SSRI taper.  

 

 

 

You are about 2.5 years off of benzos, so you very well may see improvements as you head into your third benzo-free year. That seems to be a pattern from everything I've read on benzo forums. 

 

And as you've seen on my intro thread, I'm seeing some major improvements and that may be because I'm two years off all drugs, but specific to benzos, I'm nearing the 3rd year mark off all benzos and z-drugs. And some of my benzo-specific symptoms are improving now. 

 

So hang in there. You may very will see improvements before you're completely off your AD, especially since you're being so careful with your taper and have done long holds when you needed and you're farther out from your benzo jump date. You're already seeing improvements in sleep and that's a great sign.

 

Good luck with your painting project. That sounds like a great distraction and one day, you'll be sitting in your kitchen looking at that paint job with a cup of coffee in your hand and the knowledge that you survived something that millions of people don't. 

 

And that's really powerful.

 

Sending healing vibes your way. 

[AliG]

Sending love.Keep on.

[apace41]

Dear Andy, I had no idea what you are going through.  This is the first time I am reading your monthly review. 

 

 

 

You are doing everything you can to help yourself - you are an inspiration.

 

I have some of those symptoms you have - my worst one is visual disturbance and my head is never clear - I have many symptoms but I persevere, just like you are doing

 

You are in my thoughts and prayers that these WDs will leave you sooner than later.

 

Stay well and take good care of yourself.

 

Lee (f)

xxxx

 

 

Thanks, Lee.  I appreciate your visiting.

 

As you know so well, we are all going through something and it's no walk in the park.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[apace41]

 

And as you've seen on my intro thread, I'm seeing some major improvements and that may be because I'm two years off all drugs, but specific to benzos, I'm nearing the 3rd year mark off all benzos and z-drugs. And some of my benzo-specific symptoms are improving now. 

 

So hang in there. You may very will see improvements before you're completely off your AD, especially since you're being so careful with your taper and have done long holds when you needed and you're farther out from your benzo jump date. You're already seeing improvements in sleep and that's a great sign.

 

Thanks for all the support, Shep. 

 

As you know, yours is one of the stories that provides great hope for me.  I am optimistic that as I get further away from the benzo and lower on the SSRI that things will start to accelerate for me.

 

Healing vibes right back at you.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[apace41]

Sending love.Keep on.

 

Thanks for that, Ali.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Flowers]

Hi Andy

 

I like reading your updates because you write so beautifully and always find the right words to describe how you are doing.

 

I think you are so strong to be able to achieve all the things you do while not feeling well.

 

Like you my days are a rollercoaster of feeling OK and then sliding back into feeling awful and then back again. I have also been  wondering if these are windows/waves as previously things didn't used to change for me on an hourly basis but rather days or weeks.

 

I like the Happyfeed idea. It is so easy to concentrate on the negatives when we are feeling rough. 

 

I hope you find the yoga helpful. I used to do it and felt like I had had a long warm bath by the end of the session. The only classes I can find here start at 830 at night and that is just too late for me. 

 

I am interested to know  what is behind your decision to carry on tapering when you are far from stable? Are you hoping to feel better as you get down to lower doses of the drug? 

 

I really hope that one morning soon you will be in your kitchen admiring your painting, drinking coffee and thinking about a nice cold beer later on that evening!

 

Take care Andy - you are my inspiration.

 

Flowers xxx

[AmyK]

Andy, you are doing so well. This won't last forever. Sending healing thoughts and hugs.

 

Amy

[apace41]

I am interested to know  what is behind your decision to carry on tapering when you are far from stable? Are you hoping to feel better as you get down to lower doses of the drug? 

 

Flowers,

 

Thanks so much for the visit and the kind words!  You are so nice.

 

I have tried several VERY long holds -- as long as 9 months at one point and I never really saw a ton of improvement. That led me to believe that I need to work to get the drug out of my system so I restarted my taper.  I do not taper recklessly so that when I am symptomatic at a higher level I do not reduce.  But, even though I'm not "stable" I still reduce if I'm at my "withdrawal normal" (as Tom/Brassmonkey would say) or somewhere reasonably close.

 

There is no science to all of this so reasonable minds can clearly differ on the steps to take at any time.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[apace41]

Andy, you are doing so well. This won't last forever. Sending healing thoughts and hugs.

 

Amy

 

Thanks, Amy.  I watch your progress closely and am so delighted your are almost off completely.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Flowers]

 

I am interested to know  what is behind your decision to carry on tapering when you are far from stable? Are you hoping to feel better as you get down to lower doses of the drug? 

 

Flowers,

 

Thanks so much for the visit and the kind words!  You are so nice.

 

I have tried several VERY long holds -- as long as 9 months at one point and I never really saw a ton of improvement. That led me to believe that I need to work to get the drug out of my system so I restarted my taper.  I do not taper recklessly so that when I am symptomatic at a higher level I do not reduce.  But, even though I'm not "stable" I still reduce if I'm at my "withdrawal normal" (as Tom/Brassmonkey would say) or somewhere reasonably close.

 

There is no science to all of this so reasonable minds can clearly differ on the steps to take at any time.

 

Best,

 

Andy

 

Andy you are very brave and I now understand.

 

I take all this information onboard as I know sometime in the future I am going to have to make decisions regarding continuing to taper.

 

Flowers xxx

[AmyK]

What dose are you at now, Andy? Your signature says 19 mg. Is that right?

[apace41]

What dose are you at now, Andy? Your signature says 19 mg. Is that right?

 

Thanks for the reminder, Amy!  I updated to where I currently am at 16mg.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[AmyK]

Good! Look at the progress, Andy.

Hugs!

[Blondiee1915]

Hi Apace41 -. I wanted to stop by your thread and see how you are doing .  Hope your taper is going well .  I did not read your whole thread, but your last post caught my mind - holding for 9 months at the time and not seeing much progress .  I feel like I am in the same boat .  I held for 5 months and then decreased my med .  I am not sure if this is WD normal but I do feel how perhaps I just need to get the drug out of my system.  Completely understand you .  Hopefully you are seeing progress in your recovery and doing well 

thank you so much for stopping by my thread and offering insight and support .  

[apace41]

12 hours ago, Blondiee1915 said:

Hi Apace41 -. I wanted to stop by your thread and see how you are doing .  Hope your taper is going well .  I did not read your whole thread, but your last post caught my mind - holding for 9 months at the time and not seeing much progress .  I feel like I am in the same boat .  I held for 5 months and then decreased my med .  I am not sure if this is WD normal but I do feel how perhaps I just need to get the drug out of my system.  Completely understand you .  Hopefully you are seeing progress in your recovery and doing well 

thank you so much for stopping by my thread and offering insight and support .  

 

Thanks for coming by and visiting, Blondiee.

 

It's a tough and long road and right now I've been getting jostled around quite a bit.  Have been feeling "off" and having a variety of symptoms day after day for the past several weeks/months.  Of late, the cycling of symptoms has been exaggerated and very irritating.  As I've said to several privately, I feel like I'm walking through the Glenmullen checklist of symptoms and ticking them off one at a time!  

 

Hopefully, it will pass for both of us soon.  I sense that even though we are tapering different meds our primary symptoms are similar.

 

Hang in there, Blondiee. Better times are coming.

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Frogie]

Hi Andy:

 

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.

 

I just wanted to stop by and send love and healing thoughts your way.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[apace41]

7 minutes ago, Frogie said:

I'm sorry you are having such a rough time.

 

I just wanted to stop by and send love and healing thoughts your way.

 

Thanks so  much for your compassion, Frogie.  It's been a very difficult stretch for me the past several months.  Hopefully, I will turn a corner soon and start to see some improvements.  The relentlessness of withdrawal is the biggest part of the challenge.  When you are seeing improvements or at least feeling stable it's a lot easier to practice all the mindset and coping strategies.  When you feel like you're happy to survive each day it's harder to do the things you know you should.

 

Anyway, hopefully it will lift soon, and I REALLY appreciate your stopping by.

 

So happy for your improvement!

 

Best,

 

Andy

[Frogie]

Andy:

 

 I understand every word you wrote. It is so hard to even want to be a person when you are not feeling well.

 

 I don't know how you do it. Have a job, a family, and all of us to deal with. I commend you for everything you do.

 

 You will have a turning point soon, just like I did. It took me a looong 74 days, but I did it and so will you. Like I said, I couldn't have done it without you, being there for me on a daily basis when you felt like s**t.  You will never know how much you are appreciated.

 

Now it's your turn. You will like I said. Nice and slow, like you told me. 

 

Sending lots and lots of healing thought your way.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx