Hopefull Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Hi AliG, Thank you for stopping by my thread to offer support amongs your own suffering and family troubles. Your post about your daughter saying to you , that she could not survive without you, in this world has brought me to tears. It resonates with me. Your words of encouragement mean a lot to me. I would like to thank all the people on this site, for the support and encouragement to others in need, amongst your own suffering. I hope AliG that all the pain and suffering you are going through, will be a distant memory in the future. I hope that you can resolve your concerns with your son. You obviously love your children very much. Just hang on to the hope that one day all of this suffering will be a distant memory. Best wishes, Hopefull. DRUG HISTORY: November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction). January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey). January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering. October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg. September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed. September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised. February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Hopeful, thank you. Your encouragement and support are very much appreciated. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AliG Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Fresh, thank you. Maybe you're right and a lot of us are SSRI orphans. I'm sorry you also lacked family support and missed out on family events. It was probably for slightly different reasons but never the less the end result is the same. Maybe we do have to lose or almost lose everything before we are to tune into what we need and also to examine and question life. I do believe that there is a bigger picture / higher purpose meaning to all this suffering. I just haven't worked out what it is yet! Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AliG Posted September 10, 2015 Author Share Posted September 10, 2015 Ali, I don't think you need to apologize for being more emotional or for posting your concerns about your son...both are part and parcel of withdrawing from drugs and trying to find your way in your life. For the past several years, friends have been telling me how strong I am and point out certain things I fail to see for myself. I haven't in the least felt strong, through most of it. But maybe what builds within us is a different kind of strength..which is less a "power over" and more a "power to". And sometimes, that means the power to just feel how difficult it all is. Or the power to just keep swimming, even though it all feels upstream. I appreciate how much you are on other people's threads, cheering them on and offering words of wisdom. FreeSpirit, Thank you. I appreciate that. Without even knowing it you have helped me become a little stronger myself. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 ((Ali)) thanks for posting on my thread...good thoughts to you x 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Flowers Posted September 10, 2015 Share Posted September 10, 2015 Ali - so sorry that life is complicated for you at the moment. Just wanted to say that whatever the problem we are all here for you and will support you the best we can. No one need ever be alone again now we have found SA. Sending hugs xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
freespirit Posted September 11, 2015 Share Posted September 11, 2015 FreeSpirit, Thank you. I appreciate that. Without even knowing it you have helped me become a little stronger myself. Thanks for saying this Ali. We all need mirrors at times, to show us the beauty and strength that already resides within us. Here's to you finding more of your inner resilience. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
laineyk Posted September 12, 2015 Share Posted September 12, 2015 Hi thank you for stopping by on my post. it seems like we all are being tortured right now I spent the better part of the day in my bed feeling sick There has got to be a better way to healing 2006-2012 50mgs zoloftskipped doses every other day for a year and started having anxiety again in March 2012back on at 50mgs Dec 2013started taper from benzos April 2014 per Heather Ashton method (c/o from kpin to diazepam)March 2015 started 1.25mg lorazepamTapered off Zoloft in May off in 4 weeks...5 weeks later crashing AGAIN. Dr wanted to start Gabapentin tried it 7 daysSymptoms :burning eyes, anxiety, pounding heart, dizzy, strange head feeling, internal shaking, Overall UNWELLTaking lorazepam 1.25mg daily Link to comment
Pugknows Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 If you find a better way, Lainey, let us all know. Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
melanie Posted September 14, 2015 Share Posted September 14, 2015 Hi AliG, Haven't gone through all of your thread, but read a passage about your daughter, who said she couldn't live without you. It's so beautiful. I wouldn't be able to live without my Kitty, she's like a daughter to me... I have no kids, no family. That's what gets us through - love... You've got to be strong for your kids and keep yourself free from this pharmaceutical poison. Your brain is healing, you helped me with maths on my thread. 1,25 mg Lexapro instead of 1,5 mg, remember? My brain is still so foggy, I wish that fog disappears one day. I wish it so strongly... x Mel 1990-1992 Anafranil. OCD under control, extreme social phobia. Hospitalized for the 1st and 2nd time (out of 3). 1999-2002: Prozac 20 mg. Stopped due to severe anxiety. Increased benzo consumption. 2003-2005: AD free (therapy). Feeling good, started working. Persisted 9 yrs in full-time job. 2005-2007: Ixel (milnacipran). SNRI. 2007-2011: Lexapro 10-15 mg. Fatigue and anxiety. Mania. Insomnia. Acne. Shopoholism. Polydrugging with different meds. 2011-2013: Effexor 37,5-150 mg (mostly 75 mg). SNRI. Fatigue and depression, terrible acne with scars, now gone. April 2013: Wellbutrin 150 mg. Hot flashes, extreme appetite, aggression. May 2013 - May 2014: Prozac - from 10 mg to 0 mg, very harsh taper. Functioning great but EXTREME ANXIETY. From May 2014: tried different ADs to replace Prozac, nothing worked, terrible side effects (Seroxat, Zoloft, Luvox, Brintellix, Doxepin, Trazodone). May 2014 back to benzos (Valium) in hope of improvement, aggravated depression and anxiety. Sept. 2014: Lexapro 2,5 mg, highest dose 5 mg for 1,5 months (Spring 2015). Steady decline, anxiety, fatigue. Diagnosed with OCD, dysthymia, social phobia, anxiety disorder, insomnia, eating disorder (first bulimia, then anorexia). Current meds: Seroquel 6,25 mg for sleep - 5 mg since Nov. 5, 2015. Lexapro 1,25 mg since Aug. 4th 2015. Valium, Ambien prn, tapering. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9984-melanie-should-i-reinstate-lexapro/ Link to comment
Martina23 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Ali Hi, How are you? Thank you for all your support & encouragement, I am so happy to have such a friend as you. I hope you are feeling better meanwhile. I like very much that you are always so supportive to others, I find it great. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Skylarblue75 Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Stopping by to say hi Spring of 1998 place on birth control pills for irregular bleeding, high testosterone and one ovarian cyst, stayed on until April 2004, told to take hormone holiday, conceived first son 4 months later-VERY BIG SUPRISE, was told wouldn't be able to have childern or would need reproductive doctor to help. Got pregnant again 2006 with second son easily, then was on/off birthcontrol again until October 2011, concieved 3rd son in October 2011(tried many times to get pregant again when 2nd child was close to 2yrs, hormone problems started again after 2nd child, along with thyroid enlargement. Spring of 2001 celexa 10 mgs-rx'd by pcp for complaints of chronic fatigue, irritability and weight gain, stayed on until June 2005, switched to Lexapro 20mgs for PPD, stayed on Lexapro 6-7 months, couldn't afford to see psyh dr. and Lexapro, saw PCP switched back to 20mgs celexa in 2007, remained on until November 2011, was c/t off due to 3rd pregnancy, baby had umbilical cord defect, seemed ok during pregnancy, except for crying jags here and there. Our miracle baby was born July 20th 2012, healthy except with reflux. One month later the anxiety,restlessness,horrible crying, insomnia and the deepest depression ever. That started the psyh drug nightmare-benzo's,antidepressants, sleeping pills, mood stablizers. Nothing help made me worse, doctors just kept changing the meds frequently. 4 mental health hospitalizations, rapid detox off benzos Jan 2013, horrible withdrawal and still suffering withdrawal symptoms NO ONE BELIEVES ME, I feel like ive been on one consistant drug withdrawal for the past 2 years January 2014 slow titrate up of lexapro to 20 mgs-horrible side effects!!, was just rapidly taper by current pysh off to pursade me to try an MAOI-no way!!! Was told should consider ECT Link to comment
laineyk Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 me too want to know how you are 2006-2012 50mgs zoloftskipped doses every other day for a year and started having anxiety again in March 2012back on at 50mgs Dec 2013started taper from benzos April 2014 per Heather Ashton method (c/o from kpin to diazepam)March 2015 started 1.25mg lorazepamTapered off Zoloft in May off in 4 weeks...5 weeks later crashing AGAIN. Dr wanted to start Gabapentin tried it 7 daysSymptoms :burning eyes, anxiety, pounding heart, dizzy, strange head feeling, internal shaking, Overall UNWELLTaking lorazepam 1.25mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted September 17, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 17, 2015 Calling all AliG's. One ringy dingy, two ringy dingy(from another old comedy show here in the States). I do hope you and loved ones are doing well. And would also love to hear any kind of small peep from you..........or large vent. A bit of that insomnia for me last night, but productive.........meaning it resulted in some further meaning and processing of my day yesterday..........as well as some lessons in myself and how to best "eat crow" and be who I might become one of these days. I went to a conference for professionals(and peers) here in the States. And on the positive side I heard so much of what I suppose I already knew somehow........of how to help others, really help others, hold their hands(or not), and walk with them, stay with them for as long as it takes to find what is needed for healing/recovery. I do believe one of the speakers even said something to the effect of........"you really have to throw out all that you were trained in to make/be effective change". So mostly for today........I think I will underwhelm myself a bit. Take it easy. Relax. And hope that you are doing well enough and will vent us all very soon. Love, MMT Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
direstraits Posted September 17, 2015 Share Posted September 17, 2015 Hi Ali, thinking of you ...hope you're doing OK...xo went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 Hi All, Thank you all so much for the support & encouragement. The worry over my son sent me into a wave. Symptoms that I thought were gone returned with a vengeance. However, I'm moving forward again. My son is fine and I can continue focusing on my recovery. I've started on L- Arginine and it seems to be helping. I'm also trying tumeric tea.Tumeric seems to be good for so many things, including mood, with no apparent downside although it's wise to start in small doses. Namaste. I love this. Roughly translated, it means the spirit within me salutes the spirit in you. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Namaste Ali.. How about warm milk or almond milk with turmeric honey and tiny bit sea salt? Lovely .. 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
AliG Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 LOL. . Love . Let's have a Tumeric "Tea Party". Scones , jam & cream - optional !! Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
direstraits Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 glad to read that things are better with your son and you can focus on your healing again. thanks for your concern for me on my thread...I was writng when you posted! take care...XO went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 Thanks , D.S. I was worried about you . You have sounded so down. It will be ok.!! We will all get through this ! I'm so sorry your symptoms have returned , but it's only for a while. Remember the " windows". Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Rosie20yearsago Posted September 18, 2015 Share Posted September 18, 2015 Hi Ali, Glad things are better with your son, and also with you! Hope the arginine and turmeric help! Thanks for your support, I really appreciate it! Rosie <p>Became depressed and anxious after persistent bulliying at school. started with fluoxetine 20 years ago(1995), when I was 21, was changed to seroxat(citalopram) 20 mg after a couple of years or so because of side effects. This enabled me to get through university and beyond but whenever I tried to stop, usually tapering, I never got past one year off meds. This time I stopped around Christmas 2014. I did taper but very fast I guess, from 40 to 30 to 20, then 10, then 5(I think), over a few months. I cannot remember precisely. I stopped while moving from the Netherland to Holland so am no longer under any medical supervision. However I am trying a reinstatement; I tried 1mg from the 29th of June for ten days, 2 mg from the 11 th July 2015, 1.8mg from 10th Aug, 1.6mg from 16th Sept. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 18, 2015 Author Share Posted September 18, 2015 Thanks Rosie. I'm Glad you're doing well . I'm happy you had such a nice " holiday". Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted September 19, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 19, 2015 I tried the turmeric in a black bean dish. Hmmmmm.........I think it was good........both the food and the turmeric. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
luv2knit Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Just stopping by to say "Hi", Ali!! XOXO Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Pugknows Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 ((((Ali)))) I hope you sleep peacefully tonight, sweetheart. Rest your mind and body, even if sleep hasn't found its sweet spot yet. It will return to normal soon. Life has a way of working out, even when we can't control the events. Our brains are the same way. They will figure out how to get back on track without our help. You'll be fine, Ali. We will all be better versions of ourselves, versions we could not even imagine. Love, Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
AliG Posted September 20, 2015 Author Share Posted September 20, 2015 Windows & waves . 2 Am - As usual, No sleep! I just keep telling myself - this too shall pass. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
ChanceLucky Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Hi AliG, Haven't gone through all of your thread, but read a passage about your daughter, who said she couldn't live without you. It's so beautiful. I wouldn't be able to live without my Kitty, she's like a daughter to me... I have no kids, no family. That's what gets us through - love... You've got to be strong for your kids and keep yourself free from this pharmaceutical poison. Your brain is healing, you helped me with maths on my thread. 1,25 mg Lexapro instead of 1,5 mg, remember? My brain is still so foggy, I wish that fog disappears one day. I wish it so strongly... x Mel Same here. I haven't read the whole thread but I saw that passage and got teary too. It was touching. I hope you're hanging in there AliG. -I was on an SSRI (most recently Celexa at 40mg/day) for about 15 years for anxiety. I tapered off over about 8 months and in 2015 and had worsened anxiety and well-being once off it. In the fall of 2015 (I believe) I did a low dose reinstatement and was doing better. I stayed on roughly 1 ml (2 mg) for a while but eventually lowered it to .5 ml and was on this for a long time. -Around late mid May (2017) my anxiety was worse and I increased the Celexa to 1.5 ml. At first, I felt significantly better but I developed a hand tremor. I also was having some attention and concentration difficulties. In mid July (over about 2 weeks) I tapered off of the Celexa and was off it for about 2 1/2 weeks before I started to feel an intense increase in anxiety and my hand tremor returned. -Aug 13, 2017 I did a low dose reinstatement of 0.5 ml a day and am currently still taking that. Initial response is good. -Early September 2017 to present - hand tremor returns and attention and concentration are impaired. Feeling of unbalance/unsteadiness from using treadmill. Mild changes to sexual performance too. -Sept 18, 2017: 0.4 ml Celexa. Everything is generally improving although hand tremor is worse. Attention, concentration, and anxiety are good. -I am also on Wellbutrin (200 mg/day) for anxiety and take a Benadryl at night for sleep and allergies. Eventually I'd like to be off everything. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9730-chancelucky-antidepressant-withdrawal-social-anxiety-pessimism/ Link to comment
AliG Posted September 20, 2015 Author Share Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks Chance. Appreciate that !! Hanging in & on !! LOL. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ten0275 Posted September 20, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 20, 2015 ali, hi. thank you for stopping by my thread and dropping the giant love-bomb on it. truly, it was so generous of you to offer such kind thoughts - it really cheered me up on a day when i myself am feeling some symptom patterns. i am thankful if anything i have written has helped even in the slightest. this site is such a beacon, it truly is. alto and the other moderators are full of time-tested wisdom and it is always amazing to see people begin to understand how psychiatric drugs have injured them - and that there is a sane, albeit arduous, path to healing. it is true - i have been through a great deal. one of the things i love about this site is that i don't really even need to explain that statement to anyone - because everyone knows what i am talking about. that's what makes this such a community - not just a website - a community. we are able to offer love and support to one another because we have all walked the walk. walk a mile in my shoes? you already have! so thank you again for the kind words, not only offered to me but to everyone. we all wish we had the magic wand to wave that would take away the pain for everyone - but we don't. instead, we think of one another, we offer knowledge from our own journeys, we stop by a thread to say "hi" and offer encouragement during the darker days, and we let others know that there is a place in our hearts for their healing. i think that is the biggest gift of all. much healing to you. hang in there, dave 1996 - .5mg Ativan as needed, 7.5mg Remeron daily2008 - .5mg Xanax, Ativan discontinued, Remeron continued2012 - .5mg Xanax, .25mg Ativan 3x daily, Remeron continued2/2012 - Jumped from Remeron, continued .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily4/2012 - Began rapid taper of .5mg Xanax .25mg Ativan 3x daily6/2012 - Jumped from Xanax and Ativan, voluntary hospitalization followed7/2012 - 2nd voluntary hospitalization, reinstated Remeron, bumped to 30mg, also given risperidone.8/2012 - discontinued risperidone, tried gabapentin, dicontinued gabapentin, Remeron 30mg continued10/2012 to current - tapered Remeron 10% every 4 to 6 weeks (sometimes more time) using liquid compound12/2014 - 2mg Remeron 1/16/2015 - 1.9mg Remeron 8/1/2015 -1.6mg Remeron - 03/1/2016 - 1.5mg Remeron - 1/2/2017 1.3mg - 5/7/2017 1.2mg - 5/13/2017 - syringe size change - 6/8/2017 - 1.1mg - 7/10/2017 - 1mg - 9/1/2017 - 0.9mg - 10/22/2017 - 0.8mg - 11/22/2017 - 0.7mg - 2/2/2018 - 0.6mg - 3/13/2018 - new compound pharmacy - 5/20/2018 - 0.5mg - 8/31/2018 - 0.4mg - 11/16/2018 - 0.3mg - 12/24/2018 - 0.2mg - 4/1/2019 - 0.1mg - 5/1/2019 - .05mg - 0mg achieved 2019-06-15. 🤞 Link to comment
AliG Posted September 20, 2015 Author Share Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks Dave, As usual, you make me laugh & cry at the same time !! Your words mean a lot to me. You have cheered me up , on a night where I'm struggling. Thank you. You have no idea, how much I appreciate your thoughts & encouragement. We do seem to have very " big hearts" around here. I'm sure it's because we understand each other, as you said. We have all " walked the walk", and will come out of this as stronger, and much more compassionate people. Maybe, that's the plan ? ! Who knows, but thanks again. I'm wishing the best for you. Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
ChanceLucky Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Thanks Dave, As usual, you make me laugh & cry at the same time !! Your words mean a lot to me. You have cheered me up , on a night where I'm struggling. Thank you. You have no idea, how much I appreciate your thoughts & encouragement. We do seem to have very " big hearts" around here. I'm sure it's because we understand each other, as you said. We have all " walked the walk", and will come out of this as stronger, and much more compassionate people. Maybe, that's the plan ? ! Who knows, but thanks again. I'm wishing the best for you. Ali. Thanks Chance. Appreciate that !! Hanging in & on !! LOL. Well that's good. I just wanted to add that you seem like a really compassionate, genuine person. -I was on an SSRI (most recently Celexa at 40mg/day) for about 15 years for anxiety. I tapered off over about 8 months and in 2015 and had worsened anxiety and well-being once off it. In the fall of 2015 (I believe) I did a low dose reinstatement and was doing better. I stayed on roughly 1 ml (2 mg) for a while but eventually lowered it to .5 ml and was on this for a long time. -Around late mid May (2017) my anxiety was worse and I increased the Celexa to 1.5 ml. At first, I felt significantly better but I developed a hand tremor. I also was having some attention and concentration difficulties. In mid July (over about 2 weeks) I tapered off of the Celexa and was off it for about 2 1/2 weeks before I started to feel an intense increase in anxiety and my hand tremor returned. -Aug 13, 2017 I did a low dose reinstatement of 0.5 ml a day and am currently still taking that. Initial response is good. -Early September 2017 to present - hand tremor returns and attention and concentration are impaired. Feeling of unbalance/unsteadiness from using treadmill. Mild changes to sexual performance too. -Sept 18, 2017: 0.4 ml Celexa. Everything is generally improving although hand tremor is worse. Attention, concentration, and anxiety are good. -I am also on Wellbutrin (200 mg/day) for anxiety and take a Benadryl at night for sleep and allergies. Eventually I'd like to be off everything. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9730-chancelucky-antidepressant-withdrawal-social-anxiety-pessimism/ Link to comment
freespirit Posted September 20, 2015 Share Posted September 20, 2015 Just wanted to stop by and say hi Ali. I'm glad to hear your son is doing better. Sorry your sleep is still such a problem. I admire your fortitude! I get so grumpy when insomnia goes on and on...though I'm getting more patient than I used to be. I feel grateful to sleep as well as I do these days..not always straight through, but much better than a year ago. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
Pugknows Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Hey Ali, One thing about sleep is that, eventually, it rights itself. You need sleep to survive and thrive and your brain is all about surviving. You will sputter off and on with sleep issues post withdrawal, but it will resolve. Hang in there, night owl. Hoot! Hoot! I'm right here with you, eye bags and all! Love, Pug January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Hopefull Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hi AliG, Just wanted to say thank you for your kind words. I wish you all the best, healing will come to all of us. Hugs, Hopefull. DRUG HISTORY: November 2013- Zoloft, ( Bad reaction). January 2014 - March 2014 Seroquel.( Quit Cold Turkey). January2014- Mirtazapine, I was taking 15mg at one stage, reduced to 7.5mg, Pgad reactions to Mirtazapine. Doctor kept increasing it to 37.5mg, until July 2014. No improvement, experiencing panic attacks, on 37.5 mg. I had enough by October 2014. Began tapering. October 2014- Started tapering Mirtazapine from 37.5mg. September 2015- Down to 4mg of Mirtazapine. Crashed. September 16th- Up dosed to 5mg. Held this dose for almost 5 months. Stabilised. February 2016- Began tapering again. From 5mg to 4.5mg of Mirtazapine. (Rocking the boat, again)! Lol. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted September 23, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted September 23, 2015 I am feeling pretty hopeful that you are getting some good sleep as you are not in the house? I read something funny today about being an upstairs neighbor, which I am, in a way.........to my associate here at home. And I do swear that I really am not making much noise so far...........oh, just the coffee prep and skating around in my slippers, and this squeaky computer chair rolling about, and the usual up and down and in and out for the darn ciggies..........oh the listening to some good morning music............ Seems he is up early in any case, at least briefly........judging by the door squeaks and slamming of his bathroom door, etc. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
AliG Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 Hi all.I haven't been around as much because I'm sleeping again. I don't expect this to last indefinitely but it gives me hope. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
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