Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted October 8, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 8, 2015 I will second the Tara Brach stuff! And me too on some further study of her stuff. And so.......I took the bike on out........training has commenced! It is going to be awhile I think until I am ready for the "tour de SA" or the triatholon though......and as with most of my encounters with physical exercise and release.........it took the beginning 10-20 minutes until those wonderful endorphin's kicked in. Hoping today......well tonight for you....... AliG finds you well enough. Sometimes.......at least for me, that is totally good enough. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Hibari Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Free, thank you. The depression has come back with a vengeance. It's really blindsided me. I was not prepared for how quickly it can hit - feels like a tsunami. Hi Ali, I was in a wave of my own so I missed your posts. I just wanted to say hi and let you know I am thinking of you and offering my support from a distance. I know that healing from antidepressants is such a delicate process. During and after, from what I have read, we can be affected by the smallest stressor until we get really solid. You will get through this and find your balance again. H 9/2013-4/2014: After moms death, was prescribed a series of meds for short periods of time that didn't work. Zoloft, Lexapro, Nortriptyline, Liquid Prozac, Cymbalta. 1/2014-9/2014. Clonzapam: Given Lamictal, stopped Clonzapam at .125mgs 1/2015-4 2017 Remeron: 41.25 -0.025mgs 7/2015-11/2018 Lamictal: 200mgs-0.05 mgs Had paradoxical reaction to Lamictal wd, broke my heart to take a benzo but wasn't sleeping. 3/28/2019 -2/5/ 2021 Clonazapam: 0.625mgs-.00115 Med Free July 27th, 2022**Severe Setback due to surgery/ anesthesia. 9/7/22-10/4/22 Trazadone 50-100mgs for sleep, 10/13/22-11/13/22 Trazadone 1 mg to stabilize 10/4/22-11/20/22 Remeron 7.5mgs (for sleep doesn't work) 11/20/22 7.3 - 12/31/22 6.3 2023: 1/18/23 6.1 - 6/6/23 3.6 6/16 3.4 6/28 3.0 7/12 2.7 7/28 2.5 8/11 2.2 8/23 2.0 9/5 1.8 9/16 1.6 9/30 1.4 10/13 1.2 10/26 1.0 11/9 0.8 11/22 0.6 12/6 0.4 12/23 0.2. 2024 1/4/24 Remeron/Mirtazapine free Additional Support: Armour Thyroid 75mgs, Magnesium Glycinate 300-500mgs, L-theanine Link to comment
AliG Posted October 8, 2015 Author Share Posted October 8, 2015 Free. I'm not sure what it is but I have a resistance to meditation. I will try however it won't come easily.Tara Brach - I will check the link. I think with abuse/trauma we are wired differently. The fight/ flight response becomes almost normal to the point of not noticing it anymore. I have literally felt like I was having a heart attack at times and just had to run. I live on high alert constantly. Drugs and withdrawal have amplified that to a new level. Cortisol is high. I have insomnia at night and anxiety during the day. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted October 8, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 8, 2015 Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
direstraits Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I can relate to a lot of what you say,Ali...that feeling of always being " on alert" not able to feel relaxed. I think alot of mine was due to caring for achild that you didn't know how long she would be here. and before that,a dysfunctional family that could make life miserable at times...life can be so unfair and difficult..we have to be strong and believe it can get better...sending you love and healing thoughts,ds went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
calithebold Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Hi Ali, I also have a strange reaction to meditation. It makes me anxious. It sounds weird I know. I have recently started doing yoga and I was very resistant to the breathing at first, felt embarrassed and couldn't do it but gradually I was able to do it without that and now as soon as I start I relax into it. Funnily enough I still can't meditate, lol! All medications:: Xanax (1995-96), Aropax (1995-96), Mellaril (1997-2000), Efexor (1997-2002), Seroquel (2000-now), Lithium Carbonate (2000-now), Avanza (2002-05), Epilim (2005), Seroquel-XR (2000-now), Zyprexa (2002-14), Raberprazole (2000-now prn), Crestor (2009-15), Gabapentin (2009-12), Lamictal (2010-now), Abilify (2011-now) Lyrica (2012-now), Diazepam (2010-now prn), Saphris (2014), Respiridone (2014), Chlorpromazine (2014) Neulatil (07/2016) Current medications: Lithium Carbonate 750mg; Seroquel-XR 600mg, 800mg 04/16, 600mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 200mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 500mg 04/16; Lamictal 250mg 200mg150mg 04/16; Lyrica 300mg; Abilify 20mg 30mg 11/15 Zoloft 25mg 04/16 ceased after a week due to severe suicidal thoughts; Seroquel 25mg prn; Diazepam 40mg CT Jan 2013, 5mg occasionally, (massive med changes in April 2016 due to a hospital admission). Supplements: Fish oil 4000mg, Magnesium 100mg , Niacinamide 1000mg, Slippery Elm 800mg , B12 1000mcg, Zinc 50mg, B6 100mg, Vitamin D 2000IU, Calcium 1200mg, P5P 100mg, Vitamin C 2000mg, Vitamin E 400IU Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted October 11, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 11, 2015 I think there are misconceptions about meditation. That it is about controlling your thoughts. I, too, have a resistance to meditation, and so my favorite meditations are moving meditations. Karate, Tai Chi, Chi Gung, Yoga. While I am thinking, concentrating about my body and breathing - there is no time to worry about what to do about intrusive thoughts. I recommend classes, as it is hard to learn to meditate on your own. It's like skiing - it's easier to do when you have someone to follow. That said, there are some pretty useless meditation classes out there. The many guided meditations on YouTube seem to be a good entry point. And it's more spiritual, but I like the Danny Searle meditations on his Path to Ascension YouTube Channel. I may not believe everything he does, but the meditations are pleasurable, and for that short time, you are taken away from your problems, and into a cosmic space of peace and well being. Ali, you wrote (in BlueBalou's thread): I'm exactly the same. I've had bad experiences, as well. I just thought if you haven't had therapy , that it might help .It does seem to help some people, some of the time. I've been traumatised too from very young. I keep getting told that I need "therapy", to get over the "past", but whenever I try it , I end up in a "heap". !! For me , it doesn't work, but I thought it might help you. Cognitive distortion: ("it doesn't work') No, it has not worked for you in the past. This does not mean that it won't help you in future - it just means that you haven't had a good fit yet. If you are shopping, how many frocks must you try on before you find the one you like, that suits you, that makes you feel better? Some of those frocks might be painful, too (they are for me, anyway! Sometimes trying them on is traumatic!) How many shops must you visit before you even find one you want to try on? Therapists are much the same - as long as your retain your power, your choices, and don't let them "take you over," I still believe that the right therapist can help you. Believe me, I have seen some destructive therapist/client relationships - I know they are out there. But I've seen some amazing, uplifting, positive ones, too. And the good thing about a good therapist - they challenge you to try things you wouldn't ordinarily do. And it's not always about dragging up old dirt, either. Sometimes it's more about what do you need to shift in order to be a better person. * Ah! The Tour-de-SA! Sounds promising! I thought of you yesterday as I picked up a friend from a retirement village, and her friend was cruising around the village on her retro-cruiser. There are awesome bike tours in England where you only ride a short distance each day, have breaks for Devonshire tea, and sleep in a B&B at night. Posh bike tours! It's awesome that you've gotten back to the gym for spinning classes! It sounds like that is definitely lifting your mood and challenging some of your anxiety (so that it doesn't take over). And your son - you said he is okay? So - it was a temporary crisis and he won't be taking medication? If so, what a relief that is! I can't imagine being in your shoes, knowing what you know - and having to fight the world to protect your son from the current systemic worldview on psych drugs! You are getting better, I can see it from here! It may seem rough at times, but 3 steps forward, 2 steps back = is still progress! "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
AliG Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Thanks JanCarol. I'll get back to you on all that. I need to process it. Thank you. Thank you all. MMT , Hibari , Free , Tilly , D/S, Cali & J.C. for your ongoing support ! Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AliG Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 JanCarol, Moving meditation sounds much more my style. I have been doing Yoga, and find that really great for body/ mind, particularly the Ashtanga style that is active and fast paced. I like the physically challenging classes. I'm not really into the very sedate classes. As far as therapy goes I'm sure you are right I haven't found the right fit.To try again feels like such a daunting prospect after so many fails. Putting yourself out there time after time with high expectations only to have them quashed by the ineptitude of the profession both psychiatrists & psychologists is emotionally draining and debilitating. I really don't want to go back for more at this point in time. They can do a lot of damage and re- traumatize. As I said, I do think it can work for " some of the people , some of the time" and I think for those who haven't tried it maybe they will get lucky and find a psychologist/ counselor. I'm disillusioned and can't go into it with any sort of positivity. Maybe when I'm in the right frame of mind I could try again. On another note " Tour de S.A " training coming along. I love spinning although it nearly wipes me out. My son is ok for now. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
freespirit Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Ali, I agree with JC--there are many misconceptions about meditation. A lot of folks get performance anxiety, believing they won't be able to do it "right"...and tend to think that it's about emptying your mind and being free of thoughts. There are many, many styles of meditation and perhaps something like loving kindness or guided imagery or taoist meditations (that move energy) might be more to your tastes. They are more active forms of meditation, where you are doing something... I was also going to suggest some type of moving meditation, but you're already doing that. It doesn't even need to be meditation in any kind of traditional sense. One of my good friends suffers from anxiety, DP/DR (not from WD) and he finds the best way to calm his mind is by cooking. For another friend, it means working in her garden. I think some of us relax more through doing, at least at times. For a number of years, I haven't wanted to do mindfulness practice. That started for me around the time my Mom died and I had the car accident. I got very anxious about just sitting there...so I started using other kinds of practices...now, I'm slowly coming around to wanting more quiet and stillness again. You know my feelings about therapy. I tried valiantly for 25 years. I had a couple of decent counselors, but a lot of really terrible ones. I'm afraid the damage far outweighed the small benefits. I am more empowered by being my own therapist, and also, by finding ways to work through the body instead (acupuncture, qi gong, exercise, chiropractic, meditation, massage)...all of these I believe, can do the same things, in releasing what is held there...I think the therapy challenges for those of us with trauma is much higher than the average person..and a lot of the therapy for PTSD that's been used, has been shown to actually make things worse. It's all a very personal decision, but I would never go back to a therapist again. In fact, I tell friends if there was a disaster and the only 2 people left alive on the planet were a therapist and me...I'd be living on the other side of the earth from that therapist..lol. Here's a meditation for today: https://www.facebook.com/radio.connectfm/videos/725011300901691/?fref=nf Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
AliG Posted October 11, 2015 Author Share Posted October 11, 2015 Free, Thank you, as always for your beautiful thoughts ! I will come back to address them fully , when I'm clearer, and less " cog fog" !! Too tired , to answer properly, right now . Love & hugs. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
melanie Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hi AliG, I'm sorry for what you are going through at the moment. The depression thing on top of the insomnia. Think about your children, you must be strong for them. Especially for your girl, who can't imagine living without you... If you are resistant to meditation, maybe you could try this book: http://www.amazon.com/Being-Happy-Andrew-Matthews/dp/0843128682 Andrew Matthews "Being happy. A handbook to greater confidence and security". The guy lives in Aussie BTW. Read the book about 10 times I think... Very simple, with drawings, changes your perspective on life. Awesome read. Or this one for your insomnia: http://www.amazon.com/Say-Good-Night-Insomnia-Drug-Free/dp/0805089586 Gregg D. Jacobs "Say Good Night to Insomnia. The Six-Week Drug Free Programme Developped at Harvard Medical School". You may get the latter on Kindle. Big hugs to you. You're in my thoughts. Mel 1990-1992 Anafranil. OCD under control, extreme social phobia. Hospitalized for the 1st and 2nd time (out of 3). 1999-2002: Prozac 20 mg. Stopped due to severe anxiety. Increased benzo consumption. 2003-2005: AD free (therapy). Feeling good, started working. Persisted 9 yrs in full-time job. 2005-2007: Ixel (milnacipran). SNRI. 2007-2011: Lexapro 10-15 mg. Fatigue and anxiety. Mania. Insomnia. Acne. Shopoholism. Polydrugging with different meds. 2011-2013: Effexor 37,5-150 mg (mostly 75 mg). SNRI. Fatigue and depression, terrible acne with scars, now gone. April 2013: Wellbutrin 150 mg. Hot flashes, extreme appetite, aggression. May 2013 - May 2014: Prozac - from 10 mg to 0 mg, very harsh taper. Functioning great but EXTREME ANXIETY. From May 2014: tried different ADs to replace Prozac, nothing worked, terrible side effects (Seroxat, Zoloft, Luvox, Brintellix, Doxepin, Trazodone). May 2014 back to benzos (Valium) in hope of improvement, aggravated depression and anxiety. Sept. 2014: Lexapro 2,5 mg, highest dose 5 mg for 1,5 months (Spring 2015). Steady decline, anxiety, fatigue. Diagnosed with OCD, dysthymia, social phobia, anxiety disorder, insomnia, eating disorder (first bulimia, then anorexia). Current meds: Seroquel 6,25 mg for sleep - 5 mg since Nov. 5, 2015. Lexapro 1,25 mg since Aug. 4th 2015. Valium, Ambien prn, tapering. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9984-melanie-should-i-reinstate-lexapro/ Link to comment
calithebold Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hope you got some sleep last night Ali *hugs* All medications:: Xanax (1995-96), Aropax (1995-96), Mellaril (1997-2000), Efexor (1997-2002), Seroquel (2000-now), Lithium Carbonate (2000-now), Avanza (2002-05), Epilim (2005), Seroquel-XR (2000-now), Zyprexa (2002-14), Raberprazole (2000-now prn), Crestor (2009-15), Gabapentin (2009-12), Lamictal (2010-now), Abilify (2011-now) Lyrica (2012-now), Diazepam (2010-now prn), Saphris (2014), Respiridone (2014), Chlorpromazine (2014) Neulatil (07/2016) Current medications: Lithium Carbonate 750mg; Seroquel-XR 600mg, 800mg 04/16, 600mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 200mg 04/16, 400mg 04/16, 500mg 04/16; Lamictal 250mg 200mg150mg 04/16; Lyrica 300mg; Abilify 20mg 30mg 11/15 Zoloft 25mg 04/16 ceased after a week due to severe suicidal thoughts; Seroquel 25mg prn; Diazepam 40mg CT Jan 2013, 5mg occasionally, (massive med changes in April 2016 due to a hospital admission). Supplements: Fish oil 4000mg, Magnesium 100mg , Niacinamide 1000mg, Slippery Elm 800mg , B12 1000mcg, Zinc 50mg, B6 100mg, Vitamin D 2000IU, Calcium 1200mg, P5P 100mg, Vitamin C 2000mg, Vitamin E 400IU Link to comment
ladybug99 Posted October 11, 2015 Share Posted October 11, 2015 Hi AliG. Thank you soooo much for stopping by my thread. So nice of you. I'm sorry to read you're not feeling that great. Just keep reminding yourself that this WILL pass. This is temporary. I will say a prayer for you that you get some well needed rest tonight. I'm still up for the big bash at Flower's Beach! What a great celebration that'll be when we all heal! Sending you lots of healing hugs, Ladybug99 ADs for approx 20 yrs. Klonopin .05mg 2009-2013 Last dose Aug 2013 APRIL 21, 2015: switched from Paxil cr 25mg (equiv to 20. mg regular paxil) to liquid Prozac 20 mg. Took prozac for 5 weeks. Didn't work. MAY 21. 2015: switched back to Paxil - liquid 5mg for 1 week. Then upped to 7.5. Waiting to stabilize at this. Tapered off prozac in 2 weeks. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted October 12, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 12, 2015 Hi AliG. Thank you soooo much for stopping by my thread. So nice of you. I'm sorry to read you're not feeling that great. Just keep reminding yourself that this WILL pass. This is temporary. I will say a prayer for you that you get some well needed rest tonight. I'm still up for the big bash at Flower's Beach! What a great celebration that'll be when we all heal! Sending you lots of healing hugs, Ladybug99 Flowers beach?? That sounds so perfectly balanced.......a beach with flowers. Yes, thank you for stopping by my thread too AliG. Always nice when you are in da house. And your son........my son.......what a coincidence.......maybe not........and sometimes I am so very thankful for this shrinking world of ours, with commonalities across the globe............. Monday. Just a bit shaky here.......hoping for my usual hope that arrives on Monday.........after all, we have this whole week now........plenty of time, plenty of hope............ Love, MMT Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
AliG Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hi All, Thanks for the thoughts & concern. Free .Your thoughts on therapists rival mine. Let's not go there again. It's self preservation. Melanie. Thank you so much for those links.They do sound good. I'll let you know how I go. Cali .Thank you so much for your support. Ladybug. Thanks. Reading Dan's update, reminded me of our planned celebration on Flowers Beach LOL. M.M.T. In da house was Dalsaan's idea -new member was a bit outdated. Flower"s beach, is named after Flowers ( S.A.). She lives in Spain, near a beautiful beach and a bunch of us decided we would have a party there one day when we have healed. I'm trying to do Dalsaan's100 things. Just one or two daily can be good. Sometimes it only takes one helpful thing to move you forward. I can feel a slight shift in my mood which is encouraging as it's only been a week so far of the horrid depression. I'm very happy to kick it to the kerb. It's really so hard to tell after so many years on and off A/Ds if it's iatrogenic. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
starburst Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 AliG I am yet to find a good therapist. I know they must be out there but I haven't found them yet. The last one I had spent more time checking his phone whilst I had to write down how certain pictures made me feel (so childish) I need to find one like Robin William's character on "Good Will Hunting" :-) I come here and find a lot of comfort reading about other people's experiences. It is a place of safety for me. I try to distract myself all the time but I just 'sold' all my distractions (my large collection of expensive dolls) and don't really know what to do with myself at the moment! I am trying gardening but am struggling getting dirt under my fingernails (Obviously I am not a true gardener!) I've looked at those adult colouring books and thought they might be a good idea. It really is all about getting through the day and finding things to distract my brain from its negative thoughts. I walked all the way around Fremantle today with my top inside out. The big 'size 18 Millers' was hanging out for all to see. I had to laugh about it when I got home and my husband pointed out my mishap. Not as bad as the time I went out and my knickers lost their elastic and all I could do was squeeze my legs together long enough to get back to the car. I swear nothing like that happens to other people. Those book recommendations you were given look good. I do like a good self help book. I am a bit of a book addict, especially with the kindle. Take care xx Link to comment
AliG Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hi Princess. LOL You make me laugh, with your clothes & underwear " adventures" !! Regarding the gardening , if you're serious, you have to wear gloves ! Problem solved . I used to love gardening. I had a beautiful garden. It's still, not bad, but a little neglected. I need to get back into it, in a big way . I love books as well, and have quite a collection, including some " self - help" books. I'm trying NOT to add to the collection, so I'm into " Kindle". However, for me they're not as satisfying as the " real" thing. There's nothing like flipping , real pages of a real book ! Let me know if you find a good therapist, and I'll fly over ! Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
melanie Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hello Ali, Thanks for stopping by my thread. I'm sooo glad you're feeling better and the depression lifted at last... The human condition... the Buddhist say life IS suffering and it should be accepted as such ("dukkha" - cravings, anxiety, usatisfactoriness, unease, frustration). The only rescue from this suffering is awareness of the present moment (mindfulness) and giving up our cravings and desires. If we stop constantly running after something, we won't experience a state of frustration and all the above feelings. If we're just content with what we have at the moment. And concentrate on the present moment, just feeling grateful for what we still have. Oh, and I just read they advise to refrain from intoxicants (drugs, alcohol), cause it leads to the loss of mindfulness... how very sadly true... Well, that's a great oversimplification of their philosophy, but just wanted to give you some food for thought... for your insomniac nights. And definitely order that Andrew Matthews book! That's not as complicated as Buddhism.... It's written like for children, with drawings! That's also a suggestion for Princess, another book addict - just like me. I prefer paper books to Kindle but... let's move with the times and get all this radiation from electronic devices! Anyway, don't have any more room for paper books in my tiny flat... Thank you for your presence and compassion, dear Ali, you're in my thoughts... Mel 1990-1992 Anafranil. OCD under control, extreme social phobia. Hospitalized for the 1st and 2nd time (out of 3). 1999-2002: Prozac 20 mg. Stopped due to severe anxiety. Increased benzo consumption. 2003-2005: AD free (therapy). Feeling good, started working. Persisted 9 yrs in full-time job. 2005-2007: Ixel (milnacipran). SNRI. 2007-2011: Lexapro 10-15 mg. Fatigue and anxiety. Mania. Insomnia. Acne. Shopoholism. Polydrugging with different meds. 2011-2013: Effexor 37,5-150 mg (mostly 75 mg). SNRI. Fatigue and depression, terrible acne with scars, now gone. April 2013: Wellbutrin 150 mg. Hot flashes, extreme appetite, aggression. May 2013 - May 2014: Prozac - from 10 mg to 0 mg, very harsh taper. Functioning great but EXTREME ANXIETY. From May 2014: tried different ADs to replace Prozac, nothing worked, terrible side effects (Seroxat, Zoloft, Luvox, Brintellix, Doxepin, Trazodone). May 2014 back to benzos (Valium) in hope of improvement, aggravated depression and anxiety. Sept. 2014: Lexapro 2,5 mg, highest dose 5 mg for 1,5 months (Spring 2015). Steady decline, anxiety, fatigue. Diagnosed with OCD, dysthymia, social phobia, anxiety disorder, insomnia, eating disorder (first bulimia, then anorexia). Current meds: Seroquel 6,25 mg for sleep - 5 mg since Nov. 5, 2015. Lexapro 1,25 mg since Aug. 4th 2015. Valium, Ambien prn, tapering. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9984-melanie-should-i-reinstate-lexapro/ Link to comment
AliG Posted October 13, 2015 Author Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hi Mel, Thanks for the thoughts . I do have a few books on Buddhism. I should " dust" them off and have another look . I do know the " Four Noble Truths" are all about " suffering." Existence, cause, elimination and the way that leads to elimination. ( of suffering ). Happy days ! LOL. Mindfulness is " the bomb" with them. They love it ! Seriously though, it is the way, I think. Baby steps, for me. I'm trying ! Yoga , is a start. I will order some of those books. Thanks again. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
PapaBear Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hi AliG, I am glad that you are feeling better. Your posts make me often smile. Cheers, PB - Paroxetine since more than 10years - 20mg for the first five year, then 10mg since - Several attempts to withdraw cold turkey following doctor's advise - Last attempt in spring 2015 to reduce 10 -> 5 -> 2.5 -> 0mg within 2 months -> Extreme wd problems - Reinstated with 10mg then down to 5mg again 04/01 5mg (tingling and muscle problems) 07/20 5mg (less problems) 08/20 4.95mg (muscle tightness, no more tingling sensations) 12/28 3.27mg (muscle tightness, numb feeling in feet and hands, light tingling sensations Link to comment
Prestorb Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 (((HUGS))) to you AliG! Yes, it will pass eventually even though I hope that is sooner rather than later. Hang in there and be kind and gentle to yourself in the meantime. Cling to the belief (like a lifesaver) that one day this will be in the past forever, because it truly will. Then your spirit will blossom fully and you will be able to love and be loved as never before. There are benefits (maybe that is not quite the right word) beyond this walk through the fire and I know you will understand that eventually. In the meantime, know that we are sending prayers and wishes for healing to you....hang in there fellow Withdrawal Warrior! 2005-2009, Lexapro 10 - 20 mg, CT WD w/severe depression and anxiety: 2010-2015, Paxil, 30 - 40 mg, tapered off at 10 mg/week, moderate anxiety and depression: 2010-2015, Clonozapam 0.25 mg, as needed for anxiety and sleep: 1/10/2015, Zoloft 25 mg, tried to increase to 50 and 75, but nausea and dizziness: 2/13/2015, Paxil 5 mg, added back after 2 weeks at zero to reduce WD: 2/28/2015, Paxil 10 mg, increased from 5 mg to reduce WD, HOLDING: 3/04/2015, Zoloft discontinued (reduced to ~12.5 mg on 2/19, ~6.25 mg on 2/26, then zero): 4/26/2015, Paxil starting 10% taper (no scale so was inadvertently at 20% taper, yikes!): 4/30/2015, Paxil 10 mg, reinstated (WD disappeared between August 2015 and May 2016) 5/02/2016, Started 10% taper, reinstated to 10 mg on 5/11/16: 4/29/2017, Last dose of Paxil (working with holistic psychiatrist, lots of supplements to aid WD): Primary symptoms: apathy, demotivation, anhedonia, fatigue, stress intolerance, moderate social anxiety 7/1/2018 Finally feeling like myself again, success!!! Praise God! Even with the stress of relocating recently, I am feeling pretty good most of the time now. Granted, I eat healthy, I exercise, I don't drink caffeine or alcohol and I try hard find a healthy balance of quiet and social times. Hang in there and keep the faith, you can do it too! Link to comment
freespirit Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Good for you on the yoga Ali. I hope it's a path that leads you wherever you need to go. People tend to think of Buddhism as being some very grim religion. But to correct something, the Buddha didn't say that life is suffering. He said that suffering is a part of life. Not all of life is suffering, but we tend to create a good deal of it with our minds. What he taught was not only the cause of suffering, but the path to the end of it. Mindfulness is an important part of the path, but not the only part. In the western version, the heart practices haven't been given as much due...but I think, they are a very significant piece. Maybe what would be helpful Ali is to rename or reframe around meditation. You could consider it activating or exercising your parasympathetic nervous system. Just as you would exercise both sides of your body, you can exercise both sides of your brain! Otherwise, things are out of balance..and we end up going through life kind of lop-sided. It's true that both trauma and WD for most of us, over-activates the stress response. But that isn't the end of the story--change is possible. I totally get how it feels stronger to be in fight/flight or to be doing something that builds physical strength. I had severe trauma in my childhood, that left me in that fight/flight/freeze mode for much of my life. I started having the worst insomnia when I started therapy (that should have been a clue to me..lol)...meditation helped somewhat, but it was qi gong that really changed things. I don't have the hair-trigger response to things that I used to have...even while I'm still in wd. I believe that once wd has receded, I'll be dealing with an entirely different nervous system than I've had through the first 60 years of my life...I think it's going to get a lot better than it ever was. We are more flexible and resilient than we believe we are...change is always possible. But yes, taking baby steps is the way to go. Remeron for depression. Started at 7.5 mg. in 2005. Gradual increases over 8 years, up to 45 mg. in 2012.Began tapering in June 2013. Went from 45 to 30 mg in the first 3-4 months. Held for a couple of months.Started tapering by 3.75 mg every month or 2, with some longer holding periods. Eventually went down to 3.75 mg. about April 2014. Stopped taking Remeron August 2014. Developed issues with histamine a week after stopping--symptoms reduced through diet and a few supplements. Currently having issues with a few foods. Most of the histamine intolerance has resolved or is at least, in remission. Current Medications: Current Supplements: Cannabis (CBD and THC), Vitamin C, D, Quercetin, CoQ10, Tart Cherry, Probiotic, Phytoplankton oil, magnesium, Methyl B. What has helped me most: spending time in nature, qi gong, exercise, healthy diet, meditation, IV vitamins, homeopathy, massage, acupuncture, chiropractic, music, and cuddling my cats.. My introduction: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/8459-mirtazapine-withdrawal-freespirit/#entry144282 Please note: I am not a therapist or medical practitioner. Any suggestions offered come solely from my personal experience in recovering from childhood trauma, therapy, and AD use. Please seek appropriate care for yourself. “After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver Link to comment
starburst Posted October 13, 2015 Share Posted October 13, 2015 Hey Ali I ordered one of Andrew Matthew's books on my kindle last night. I sat and read through some of his little 'nuggets' before I went to bed. It is so easy to read. I went to bed smiling and slept well for the first time in four nights. Gardening gloves, yes, that would be a good idea. I wonder if they do them in designer fashion style? see, I told you I was not a 'true gardener'. Link to comment
melanie Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 But to correct something, the Buddha didn't say that life is suffering. He said that suffering is a part of life. Not all of life is suffering, but we tend to create a good deal of it with our minds. [quote name="freespirit" post="186650" timestamp="1444771119" But to correct something, the Buddha didn't say that life is suffering. He said that suffering is a part of life. Not all of life is suffering, but we tend to create a good deal of it with our minds. Hey Freespirit, I liked your post and thoughts about Buddhism, mindfulness, active meditation. But... could you give me a link relative to what you stated above? About what Buddha said about suffering and life? It's not that I want to argue (absolutely not!), but I have an inquisitive mind, even more inquisitive with the cog fog lifting... I feel utterly confused having read the above part of your post... Though our primary goal is to taper meds, we've got to get these philosophical/religious issues straight if we bring them up. I admit I could be wrong... As Socrates once said: "I know that I know nothing".... Sending you a little link, which would confirm what I said in my post: http://buddhism.about.com/od/thefournobletruths/a/dukkhaexplain.htm Wish you lots of healing, great to meet another person interested in Buddhism... Mel 1990-1992 Anafranil. OCD under control, extreme social phobia. Hospitalized for the 1st and 2nd time (out of 3). 1999-2002: Prozac 20 mg. Stopped due to severe anxiety. Increased benzo consumption. 2003-2005: AD free (therapy). Feeling good, started working. Persisted 9 yrs in full-time job. 2005-2007: Ixel (milnacipran). SNRI. 2007-2011: Lexapro 10-15 mg. Fatigue and anxiety. Mania. Insomnia. Acne. Shopoholism. Polydrugging with different meds. 2011-2013: Effexor 37,5-150 mg (mostly 75 mg). SNRI. Fatigue and depression, terrible acne with scars, now gone. April 2013: Wellbutrin 150 mg. Hot flashes, extreme appetite, aggression. May 2013 - May 2014: Prozac - from 10 mg to 0 mg, very harsh taper. Functioning great but EXTREME ANXIETY. From May 2014: tried different ADs to replace Prozac, nothing worked, terrible side effects (Seroxat, Zoloft, Luvox, Brintellix, Doxepin, Trazodone). May 2014 back to benzos (Valium) in hope of improvement, aggravated depression and anxiety. Sept. 2014: Lexapro 2,5 mg, highest dose 5 mg for 1,5 months (Spring 2015). Steady decline, anxiety, fatigue. Diagnosed with OCD, dysthymia, social phobia, anxiety disorder, insomnia, eating disorder (first bulimia, then anorexia). Current meds: Seroquel 6,25 mg for sleep - 5 mg since Nov. 5, 2015. Lexapro 1,25 mg since Aug. 4th 2015. Valium, Ambien prn, tapering. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9984-melanie-should-i-reinstate-lexapro/ Link to comment
melanie Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Hi Mel, Thanks for the thoughts . I do have a few books on Buddhism. I should " dust" them off and have another look . I do know the " Four Noble Truths" are all about " suffering." Existence, cause, elimination and the way that leads to elimination. ( of suffering ). Happy days ! LOL. Mindfulness is " the bomb" with them. They love it ! Seriously though, it is the way, I think. Baby steps, for me. I'm trying ! Yoga , is a start. I will order some of those books. Thanks again. Ali, yoga is good for starting. And mindfulness is everything you do while consciously being in the present moment... Rejoicing in everything you do... well, seems impossible. I guess Freespirit's suggestions are worthwile.. Though she added a bit of confusion to my very tired, overmedicated and "rebuilding itself" brain. With a comment on Buddha's conception of suffering... Sorry to overstuff your thread with Buddhism... x Mel 1990-1992 Anafranil. OCD under control, extreme social phobia. Hospitalized for the 1st and 2nd time (out of 3). 1999-2002: Prozac 20 mg. Stopped due to severe anxiety. Increased benzo consumption. 2003-2005: AD free (therapy). Feeling good, started working. Persisted 9 yrs in full-time job. 2005-2007: Ixel (milnacipran). SNRI. 2007-2011: Lexapro 10-15 mg. Fatigue and anxiety. Mania. Insomnia. Acne. Shopoholism. Polydrugging with different meds. 2011-2013: Effexor 37,5-150 mg (mostly 75 mg). SNRI. Fatigue and depression, terrible acne with scars, now gone. April 2013: Wellbutrin 150 mg. Hot flashes, extreme appetite, aggression. May 2013 - May 2014: Prozac - from 10 mg to 0 mg, very harsh taper. Functioning great but EXTREME ANXIETY. From May 2014: tried different ADs to replace Prozac, nothing worked, terrible side effects (Seroxat, Zoloft, Luvox, Brintellix, Doxepin, Trazodone). May 2014 back to benzos (Valium) in hope of improvement, aggravated depression and anxiety. Sept. 2014: Lexapro 2,5 mg, highest dose 5 mg for 1,5 months (Spring 2015). Steady decline, anxiety, fatigue. Diagnosed with OCD, dysthymia, social phobia, anxiety disorder, insomnia, eating disorder (first bulimia, then anorexia). Current meds: Seroquel 6,25 mg for sleep - 5 mg since Nov. 5, 2015. Lexapro 1,25 mg since Aug. 4th 2015. Valium, Ambien prn, tapering. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9984-melanie-should-i-reinstate-lexapro/ Link to comment
melanie Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Hey Ali I ordered one of Andrew Matthew's books on my kindle last night. I sat and read through some of his little 'nuggets' before I went to bed. It is so easy to read. I went to bed smiling and slept well for the first time in four nights. Princess, I'm delighted you found Andrew Matthews helpful... If I can be of any help, I feel my life is worth living... x Mel 1990-1992 Anafranil. OCD under control, extreme social phobia. Hospitalized for the 1st and 2nd time (out of 3). 1999-2002: Prozac 20 mg. Stopped due to severe anxiety. Increased benzo consumption. 2003-2005: AD free (therapy). Feeling good, started working. Persisted 9 yrs in full-time job. 2005-2007: Ixel (milnacipran). SNRI. 2007-2011: Lexapro 10-15 mg. Fatigue and anxiety. Mania. Insomnia. Acne. Shopoholism. Polydrugging with different meds. 2011-2013: Effexor 37,5-150 mg (mostly 75 mg). SNRI. Fatigue and depression, terrible acne with scars, now gone. April 2013: Wellbutrin 150 mg. Hot flashes, extreme appetite, aggression. May 2013 - May 2014: Prozac - from 10 mg to 0 mg, very harsh taper. Functioning great but EXTREME ANXIETY. From May 2014: tried different ADs to replace Prozac, nothing worked, terrible side effects (Seroxat, Zoloft, Luvox, Brintellix, Doxepin, Trazodone). May 2014 back to benzos (Valium) in hope of improvement, aggravated depression and anxiety. Sept. 2014: Lexapro 2,5 mg, highest dose 5 mg for 1,5 months (Spring 2015). Steady decline, anxiety, fatigue. Diagnosed with OCD, dysthymia, social phobia, anxiety disorder, insomnia, eating disorder (first bulimia, then anorexia). Current meds: Seroquel 6,25 mg for sleep - 5 mg since Nov. 5, 2015. Lexapro 1,25 mg since Aug. 4th 2015. Valium, Ambien prn, tapering. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9984-melanie-should-i-reinstate-lexapro/ Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Fresh Posted October 14, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 14, 2015 Don't mean to hijack your thread AliG , but here you go Melanie. http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/bs-s03.htm . The Buddha taught people to recognise that suffering is part of life and that it cannot be avoided Now , back to the AliG story . . . 1987-1997 pertofran , prothiaden , Prozac 1997-2002 Zoloft 2002-2004 effexor 2004-2010 Lexapro 40mg 2010-2012Cymbalta 120mg Sept. 2012 -decreased 90mg in 6months. Care taken over by Dr Lucire in March 2013 , decreased last 30mg at 2mg per week over 3 months. July 21 , 2013- last dose of Cymbalta Protracted withdrawal syndrome kicked in badly Jan.2014 Unrelenting akathisia until May 2014. Voluntary hosp. admission. Cocktail of Seroquel, Ativan and mirtazapine and I was well enough to go home after 14 days. Stopped all hosp. meds in next few months. July 2014 felt v.depressed - couldn't stop crying. Started pristiq 50mg. Felt improvement within days and continued to improve, so stayed on 50mg for 8 months. Began taper 28 Feb. 2015. Pristiq 50mg down to 45mg. Had one month of w/d symptoms. Started CES therapy in March. No w/d symptoms down to 30mg. October 2015 , taking 25mg Pristiq. Capsules compounded with slow-release additive. March 2016 , 21mg Link to comment
melanie Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Don't mean to hijack your thread AliG , but here you go Melanie. http://www.buddhanet.net/e-learning/buddhism/bs-s03.htm . The Buddha taught people to recognise that suffering is part of life and that it cannot be avoided[/size] Now , back to the AliG story . . . [/size] [/size] Hey Fresh, Sorry, but this link does not convince me. I found it myself previously... Read the end of the second paragraph... I'll ask Freespirit to answer on my thread. Otherwise, the question won't stop bothering me... Hugs, Mel 1990-1992 Anafranil. OCD under control, extreme social phobia. Hospitalized for the 1st and 2nd time (out of 3). 1999-2002: Prozac 20 mg. Stopped due to severe anxiety. Increased benzo consumption. 2003-2005: AD free (therapy). Feeling good, started working. Persisted 9 yrs in full-time job. 2005-2007: Ixel (milnacipran). SNRI. 2007-2011: Lexapro 10-15 mg. Fatigue and anxiety. Mania. Insomnia. Acne. Shopoholism. Polydrugging with different meds. 2011-2013: Effexor 37,5-150 mg (mostly 75 mg). SNRI. Fatigue and depression, terrible acne with scars, now gone. April 2013: Wellbutrin 150 mg. Hot flashes, extreme appetite, aggression. May 2013 - May 2014: Prozac - from 10 mg to 0 mg, very harsh taper. Functioning great but EXTREME ANXIETY. From May 2014: tried different ADs to replace Prozac, nothing worked, terrible side effects (Seroxat, Zoloft, Luvox, Brintellix, Doxepin, Trazodone). May 2014 back to benzos (Valium) in hope of improvement, aggravated depression and anxiety. Sept. 2014: Lexapro 2,5 mg, highest dose 5 mg for 1,5 months (Spring 2015). Steady decline, anxiety, fatigue. Diagnosed with OCD, dysthymia, social phobia, anxiety disorder, insomnia, eating disorder (first bulimia, then anorexia). Current meds: Seroquel 6,25 mg for sleep - 5 mg since Nov. 5, 2015. Lexapro 1,25 mg since Aug. 4th 2015. Valium, Ambien prn, tapering. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/9984-melanie-should-i-reinstate-lexapro/ Link to comment
Sertramean Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Hi Ali, thanks for popping in on my thread a couple of months ago. You were one of only 2 that did so i'm very grateful Life has been rough for me the last few months to say the least and i see you're exactly one year further out than i am. Can you tell me how that year has been from last October. Have you seen solid improvements in both your mood and withdrawls? Have you found yourself more engaged with the world? i wish you all the best. Seroxat 30mg (January 1998 > till started taper April 2013 > off completely July 2013) this was about my fourth attempt. Prozac 40mg ( July 2013 - Feb 2014) Sertraline 75mg (Feb 2014- started taper Feb 2015 - off May 2015) Mirtazapine - 7.5mg for 2 weeks - 3.75mg one week - 2mg one week (December'15 - Jan 16) Link to comment
Martina23 Posted October 14, 2015 Share Posted October 14, 2015 Hello Ali, I wanted to stop at your thread and look how you are doing. I see you like reading. I dont know any book for Buddhism, but I I am currently reading a very good book, which I can recommend. It is a criminal story or more stories from Old China from the Tang Dynasty. It is from Robert van Gulik and it is called Judge Dee - the Lacquer screen. Robert van Gulik wrote more of Judge Dee stories and I have never seen better books in my life. You open it and have to continue reading to the end. It was prior meant to Chinese readers but then he changed his mind and published also in Europe and other countries. But it is really great ... While reading, you will totally forget you are in withdrawal. 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Martina23 Posted October 16, 2015 Share Posted October 16, 2015 Hello Ali, how are you today? And are you really doing this Yoga? When I was a child I did yoga for eyes. I was and I still am very shortsighted (I dont see well to longer distances) and through yoga training my eyes went better but then I stopped doing it they are again not so good. I have luck that contact lenses exist. For the normal exercise is yoga for me too slow. I like step aerobic or something dynamic, like dancing, running, swimming and I like water skiing so much. I like water very much. But it is maybe because I am acquarius in the zodiac, and they need water a lot. Which sign of zodiac are you? 05/2013 Lyrica 100 mg / per day for pain + PGAD resulting from caesarian delivery11/2014 started to taper: 50 mg per day/ for one week then c/tafter one month reinstated at 50 mg /per days of 10 July 2015 drug free- symptoms OCD Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted October 18, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 18, 2015 Hey Ali - this will appeal to your analytical mind - Dr. Stasha Gominak discusses Sleep and Vitamin D Hope you're having a good day - maybe you saw the sun today? (it was so lovely here!) "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
luv2knit Posted October 18, 2015 Share Posted October 18, 2015 Just stopping by to say Hi, Ali. Thoughts and prayers. XOXO Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus JanCarol Posted October 21, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 21, 2015 Hey AliG! I thought of you while I was reading an article in New Scientist magazine. In it, it talked about dolphins and whales - the great sea mammals - and how they sleep. In order to stay afloat in the water and breathe and not die - they only sleep half of their brain at a time. Called "uni-hemispheric sleep" the left half of the brain will sleep while the right half runs things, or vice versa. The application in humans is this: in severe sleep deprivation, parts of our brain might go to sleep. It is essential for healing and functioning. Part of the brain being asleep explains sleep-walking, for example. But other times, part of your brain might be asleep and you don't even know it. Full beta consciousness - except that the part of a lobe might be having some downtime and you wouldn't even know it. So there is a very real chance that, even though you get severely sleep deprived, your brain is still healing. It's just slower than full sleep. Additionally, travel might be good for sleep deprived because - as I found out on my trip - at least there is always something to see and do, even when you're too tired! I hope you see this beautiful sun today! "Easy, easy - just go easy and you'll finish." - Hawaiian Kapuna Holding is hard work, holding is a blessing. Give your brain time to heal before you try again. My suggestions are not medical advice, you are in charge of your own medical choices. A lifetime of being prescribed antidepressants that caused problems (30 years in total). At age 35 flipped to "bipolar," but was not diagnosed for 5 years. Started my journey in Midwest United States. Crossed the Pacific for love and hope; currently living in Australia. CT Seroquel 25 mg some time in 2013. Tapered Reboxetine 4 mg Oct 2013 to Sept 2014 = GONE (3 years on Reboxetine). Tapered Lithium 900 to 475 MG (alternating with the SNRI) Jan 2014 - Nov 2014, tapered Lithium 475 mg Jan 2015 - Feb 2016 = GONE (10 years on Lithium). Many mistakes in dry cutting dosages were made. The tedious thread (my intro): JanCarol ☼ Reboxetine first, then Lithium The happy thread (my success story): JanCarol - Undiagnosed Off all bipolar drugs My own blog: https://shamanexplorations.com/shamans-blog/ I have been psych drug FREE since 1 Feb 2016! Link to comment
starburst Posted October 21, 2015 Share Posted October 21, 2015 Hi AliG. I don't understand much about spiritual stuff, Buddhism etc. The only prayer I seem to be able to manage these days consist of one word........HELP. That is as spiritual as I get I'm afraid. You are welcome to use it too if you want, It might help Hope you are doing o.k. Link to comment
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