downtongirl: I want to become med-free

[peng]

Sincere best wishes for your dream, downtongirl.

It's a while away, so hopefully you will be considerably better. XO

[tntd]

Hi DG,

 

Congratulations on your daughter's engagement  I sincerely hope that you will be able to help with the planning and do all the things you are dreaming of with your baby girl. My baby girl isn't engaged yet but she is in a serious relationship and I've been thinking I might be in the same situation as you are. Maybe all the preparations will help to distract you from your symptoms and it will be a good thing.

 

I'm glad your psych doctor finally believes you. Mine told me six months to get better from the AD withdrawal. I don't think any of them really know. I hope that you heal faster than he believes you will. 

 

Sending healing energy your way along with hugs.

[AliG]

Hi  DG. I also have one daughter and understand the intensity of this process.  I hope you can stay strong. Your last couple of posts have sounded good. Looking to non- drug methods is the way to go. It can be intensive but worth it in the long run.

[downtongirl]

Ahhh...Peng, T, and AliG....you can't imagine how good your kinds remarks have made me feel.  I truly pray that I will be able to make some beautiful memories with my precious baby girl....I know I am partial but she truly is an amazing young woman....she graduated with her bachelors in 3 years and is working full time pursuing her Masters and has a heart of gold.  I had a nice conversation with my husband during dinner and told him I wanted to purchase a couple of the claire weeks books.  I told him I needed his help to deal with these panic attack responses to my withdrawal symptoms and he said he would help....I am hoping he will....I know this experience over the last 5 years of trying to get off of psych meds and back on them and off again several times unsuccessfully has taken a toll on my family and I have tried my best to shield them from this but I am to a point I need some help and I have told him to be prepared for long periods of crying for no good reason other than I am in withdrawal, be prepared for irritability that may seen directed towards him but most likely it is due to withdrawal, and that my life is pretty unpredictable and I have no idea when it will become more predictable.  I have told him that there may be times when I may look like a heroin addict shaking and sweating but it is what it is....I think I have felt like this withdrawal has been my fault but it isn't.  I have had panic attacks since I was 6 due to sexual abuse I experienced for most of my 2nd grade year at school, then abuse from my first husband and some other traumatic events and after the birth of our second child I just had a melt down and no one in my family knew how to help me or where to go for help so I sought help at the er room and I ended up in a psych hospital on meds that according to the dr.'s were not addictive and did not cause dependence.  I truly think if I had of been given really good counseling with really good family support I could have dealt with life without medicine...but that is not what happened and now I have to deal with the cards that I have been dealt.  I do pray that God will heal means I can return to a life of service to him and my family....I thank you for your support!

[tntd]

Hi DG,

 

Sounds like you had a wonderful conversation with your husband. I hope that it has helped and that he gets it and will be there for you. A supportive spouse can make a world of difference.

 

I just wanted to stop by and let you know I'm thinking of you. You are strong and you can get through this. 

 

Hugs and healing 

[downtongirl]

Well, I thought I would update and I ask for some of the veterans out there to take a look at my update and tell me if they recognize or can relate to what is going on with me.  I thank you in advance.  I had a pretty good weekend.  I did not have to use a sleep aid on Friday or Saturday and slept pretty well.  Saturday I felt really well considering being in withdrawal.  My husband and I went out for breakfast and then we did a couple more hours of hard, physical work....cutting tree limbs, moving tree logs, etc.  Saturday afternoon I felt so good I went and did a little shopping, came home and went to dinner with my husband and son, watched some TV and went to sleep.  Sunday I woke up with some DP/DR but not as bad as it has been...went to church, enjoyed church and ate lunch with my son and husband.  In the afternoon I started feeling irritable, anxious, and depressed mixed up at the same time....pushed through it and went to a music concert Sunday night but had a had time enjoying it.  Did not sleep as well Sunday night...broken sleep....don't know if it was due to the stimulation of the concert or what.  Woke up this morning with less DP/DR and not quite as much of a low mood.  Took my dog for a walk in the sunshine, was experiencing a lot of body aches....probably due to the physical labor and standing on my feet for a couple of hours at the concert....had some dizziness and a very bad headache so I took an ibuprofen and I was very tired so I laid down in bed....something wonderful happened....I fell asleep!  I slept for like an hour and a half and it was peaceful, restful sleep.  

 

I am trying to not get too hopeful but I can't help it....I am wondering if I am experiencing windows/waves at 3 months off of prozac and 1 month off of trazadone?

 

AM....usually brings low mood with DP/DR

Afternoon...usually brings anxiety

Evening....usually brings this one sided brain fog/weird heavy headed feeling on the left side of my head with a headache

Night....usually brings a better mood, more clear head, and better energy with some trouble sleeping

 

Things that are better than they were a week ago....

 

akathisia seems very  low to non existent since Friday evening

 

depression....having low mood period but not as low as a week ago

 

Anxiety....still anxious but sort of fading into a zombiesh type of mood

 

GI issues....are better than they were last week

 

Still experiencing a fair amount of the "I don't care...WHATEVER kind of zombie mood....don't know if that is part of the DP/DR or maybe my bodies/brains way of protecting me from having so much anxiety.

 

Still having a lot of dizziness/vertigo

 

I almost think I may be making a very small bit of progress....am I being over zealous in thinking so?

[downtongirl]

Well I did not get a response to my last post so I thought I would try again.....

 

My symptoms are changing some better some worse.

 

The symptoms that seem to be better are the anxiety and depression.  The mood swings are not as severe.  Also, the inner vibrations, shaking, restlessness has improved ....not completely gone but better.  I consider this improvement.  It has been this way pretty consistently for about a week.

 

The symptoms that seem to be the same are insomnia....still terrible.  Blurry vision, dizziness, brain fog still bad.

 

I am familiar with and have read the windows and waves threads but My question is ....has anyone had their mental/emotional symptoms improve or go away before their physical symptoms improve?

 

Thank you in advance for your response!

[AliG]

Hi DG.  You are sounding more positive. I'm glad you have had some easing of certain symptoms. That's a good sign. Some relief of the anxiety and depression must feel good at this point.

 

Your symptoms are changing - some better some worse - and that's the pattern of recovery. It might be good to watch this again if you haven't already  :

Healing from antidepressants. Patterns of recovery/

 

I can empathize with your feelings on insomnia as I had it for a long while. All I can say is that it gets better with time as long as you don't add a sleep med to the mix. In my experience they tend to throw the balance off and hinder progress long term. I preferred to experience some pain in the short term for long term gain, even though it was close to two years. Not so short term ! LOL. 

 

To try and answer your question I don't think there is one easy answer. From what I have experienced and seen in others here, there  isn't any " rhyme or reason " to this process. I found like all of "withdrawal", that symptoms were in a constant state of flux. One week it would be physical the next emotional and sometimes a mix of the two often changing hourly/ daily alternating between the two states. It is like the Rubik's cube analogy. Each piece can slot into place at the end but the process is made up of a myriad of combinations in the meantime.

 

It's sometimes hard to tease out what precipitates a wave of either origin as the mind/ body are inextricably linked .

 

Also, often a physical symptom can lead to an emotional one, as in the case of sleep deprivation. It can lead to a lot of neuro - emotion as well as depression and anxiety. Where does one symptom start and another leave off ?  It's impossible to say.

 

It's interesting to question these things but often we just don't know the answers to some of the more intricate workings behind this process.

I have heard some say that the emotional symptoms lasted longer and that has been my experience also but I don't think it's universal.

 

Suffice to say that if you're feeling less symptoms of any kind then you're definitely moving in the right direction. I hope this keeps up for you.

Ali

[Lindux]

I would advice to start eating really healthy, lower dosages slowly, work out, live happy life. 

[Chicago77]

DG, 

 

My brain fog is sooooo bad too. I can't focus or concentrate on anything. Very restless too. My fatigue is so severe at times that I feel like I was in the beginning of WD. I don't feel confident at work at all anymore. I used to be a sharp, successful business woman and now I feel like a stupid vegetable. LOL 

[tntd]

Hi DG,

 

I have been looking at a supplement called lactium. It is supposed to be helpful with sleep. Altostrata has a thread on it http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/357-update-on-milk-peptides-lactium-for-sleep/ I just talked to my doctor about taking it while I'm tapering a benzo and he said it is fine. The thread will tell you exactly what it is and what it does. They even posted parts of studies on it.

 

So glad to hear the mental aspects are abating, I hope they continue to stay gone.

 

Hugs

[tntd]

Hi DG,

 

Haven't heard from you in awhile. I hope things are going well for you. I hope you had a good holiday season. 

 

Thinking of you,

 

Hugs

[RealMe]

On 11/16/2016 at 5:50 PM, downtongirl said:

Well I did not get a response to my last post so I thought I would try again.....

 

My symptoms are changing some better some worse.

 

The symptoms that seem to be better are the anxiety and depression.  The mood swings are not as severe.  Also, the inner vibrations, shaking, restlessness has improved ....not completely gone but better.  I consider this improvement.  It has been this way pretty consistently for about a week.

 

The symptoms that seem to be the same are insomnia....still terrible.  Blurry vision, dizziness, brain fog still bad.

 

I am familiar with and have read the windows and waves threads but My question is ....has anyone had their mental/emotional symptoms improve or go away before their physical symptoms improve?

 

Thank you in advance for your response!

I'm looking for any help I can find regarding tinnitus which I am suffering from.  Did you find relief from this symptom?  Can you offer me any advice?  Thank you.

[Fightingawar]

@downtongirl are you still in this site??

[Carmie]

Hi downtongirl, 

 

How have you been doing? Sending hugs🤗

[Martina23]

I am also sending hugs. I hope you feel good. Martina