alexjuice Posted October 26, 2013 Author Share Posted October 26, 2013 Thanks. It means a lot to know you guys are rooting for me. I am getting better in some ways, I hope, but my bone disease keeps getting worse. I do believe I will recover and I am happy to know you all. best, Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted October 26, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 26, 2013 Lots of love and hugs, Alex!!! http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
alexjuice Posted October 31, 2013 Author Share Posted October 31, 2013 Lots of love and hugs, Alex!!! Thanks so much tezza! HUGS to you! "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted October 31, 2013 Author Share Posted October 31, 2013 Update: Going a little batty, definitely some withdrawal since i completely finished benzos back in september... I am all over the map. I have struggled with starts and stops for a long time with diet but also treatments and tapers... I am still alive after everything and I still have all of my pieces, in theory, so maybe I can come out okay but otherwise I am too discombulated to safely manage my own treatment but I do not know who else to entrust... I've seen a number of practitioners alt, the mold doc, the parasite doc, the acupuncturist, chirpractor... none are anywhere near comprehensive and I am on my own... On the other, I am closer to health than ever before because I am off for the first time in 17 years horrific toxic paralyzing drugs... I believe that my infections and the chronic mycotoxin illness, lyme and inflmmatory bowel disease and allergies are ALL traceable to a syndrome of severe toxicity due to my 17 years of taking poison pharmaceutical drugs. I think I had problems before drugs too but the drugs made all 100x worse and, not the oldest cause but are the main cause of all the causes. The energy healers get readings on cellular toxins which mine show strongly for pharmaceutical toxins. The problem is that I have gut infections, a profound gluten/dairy/yeast/corn intolerance and I am quite malnourished. A lot of the mold treatment involves using binders like cholystyramine and clay. After a year of binders I am taking a break because I am too depleted. The alt doctors recommend Medi Body baths and coffee enema and mg sulfate and these are ALL TERRIFIC things but I am toooo weak to do them... I also cannot do the sauna because I do not sweat in it so Smiley says wait... She says keep doing the baths but I know I can't do any of them right now so I will try again in a week to ten... I am trying the UNDA homeopathic remedies for DRAINAGE to assit in detox... These show extremely usefulness as I had to stop the first remedy because of extreme foot pain which I think is mycotoxins detoxing from storage and impacting the bone... I got a less potent remedy and I will try this one next... I will let you guys know because I think the homeopathic drainage remedies show a lot of promise for me and probably for a lot of you guys, since they do not have drugs and they do not have mold... So more to come on this... One week left on ivermectin, pyrantel palmoate (or whatever) and tinidazole. These last six weeks have been rough on my body but almost done with the course. Hopefully some of the crazy neurological symptoms are due to these drugs. My liver is enlarged so I know I am taking a whipping -- blood tests okay but Smiley rechecked today... I don't care if my lvier fails at this point I am better to be damned for doing... but it hasn't failed so far... ;-) I'm going back to CBT therapist who saw me for free last year. She insisted I take responsibility for my decision to take psychiatric medication and I didn't think she was right.... I realize that her viewpoint is useful and I would like to see her. It's been a year and I look terrible but I am eager to see her and see how she is doing. I am also trying to visit w/ an old friend for a coffee drink (water bottle) on Friday. I have only seen one friend one time (same guy back in April) since I left my mothers place with the mold last August so I am excited... just for old times: November Goal -- Gain 5 lbs to 160 this month! Hope you guys feel ok! Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted October 31, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 31, 2013 Sounding good Alex!!! We're all behind you and your recovery! HUGS!!! RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted November 1, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 1, 2013 Hi Alex! Hugs to you. As always, your courage is inspiring. I've done well with the GAPS protocol but I just wanted to say--30 days isn't long. Especially given that you've been taking antiparasitic drugs, which wreak havoc with the intestines (and everything else, actually). Please don't be discouraged if you don't get results in that time frame. I would expect it to take more like four to six months to notice improvement. That's how long it took me the first time I did it, and I was actually already in pretty good shape when I started. Anyway, your health issues are so complex and you've become such an expert on them that you probably don't need to hear advice from me, but I just wanted to say, you might want to give the gut healing a bit more time than that. Also I agree that it's likely you're having some shakedown withdrawal from the benzos. That will probably go on for some months yet. As always, my fondest affection and respect to you. And hugs. Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Thanks Rhi, your words mean a ton to me. You are a tremendous person dealing with your own health and wellness issues w/ considerable grace IMO. I am definitely shaking down from the benzos. I am suffering from cravings and other behavior consistent w/ depletion of dopamine. I have heard from a psyhciatrist that my tongue movements which started last time I dc'd benzos were actually a remnant of nervous system damage done by antipsychotics and related to dopamine. The bdz cover it up and since I am off them I have suffered from binge behavior and I it feels like a lack of dopamine and other 'chemical imbalance' -- ha, pun intended. I feel ashamed actually to see myself when I get overwhelmed w/ a food craving and tear into some food like a crash survivor on a barren island being brought water for the first time... I hate what I am but I am doing everything I can to rebuild my body, survive and thrive. Best. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted November 1, 2013 Share Posted November 1, 2013 Thinking of you as I just ate about 15 mini candy treats . Now I am going to go pull it together! Why did I throw all that Adderall away? 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 1, 2013 Author Share Posted November 1, 2013 Hah! Meimequest, damn that Halloween candy! Hang in there!!! "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Jason Posted November 2, 2013 Share Posted November 2, 2013 Update: Going a little batty, definitely some withdrawal since i completely finished benzos back in september... I am all over the map. I have struggled with starts and stops for a long time with diet but also treatments and tapers... I am still alive after everything and I still have all of my pieces, in theory, so maybe I can come out okay but otherwise I am too discombulated to safely manage my own treatment but I do not know who else to entrust... I've seen a number of practitioners alt, the mold doc, the parasite doc, the acupuncturist, chirpractor... none are anywhere near comprehensive and I am on my own... On the other, I am closer to health than ever before because I am off for the first time in 17 years horrific toxic paralyzing drugs... I believe that my infections and the chronic mycotoxin illness, lyme and inflmmatory bowel disease and allergies are ALL traceable to a syndrome of severe toxicity due to my 17 years of taking poison pharmaceutical drugs. I think I had problems before drugs too but the drugs made all 100x worse and, not the oldest cause but are the main cause of all the causes. The energy healers get readings on cellular toxins which mine show strongly for pharmaceutical toxins. The problem is that I have gut infections, a profound gluten/dairy/yeast/corn intolerance and I am quite malnourished. A lot of the mold treatment involves using binders like cholystyramine and clay. After a year of binders I am taking a break because I am too depleted. The alt doctors recommend Medi Body baths and coffee enema and mg sulfate and these are ALL TERRIFIC things but I am toooo weak to do them... I also cannot do the sauna because I do not sweat in it so Smiley says wait... She says keep doing the baths but I know I can't do any of them right now so I will try again in a week to ten... I am trying the UNDA homeopathic remedies for DRAINAGE to assit in detox... These show extremely usefulness as I had to stop the first remedy because of extreme foot pain which I think is mycotoxins detoxing from storage and impacting the bone... I got a less potent remedy and I will try this one next... I will let you guys know because I think the homeopathic drainage remedies show a lot of promise for me and probably for a lot of you guys, since they do not have drugs and they do not have mold... So more to come on this... One week left on ivermectin, pyrantel palmoate (or whatever) and tinidazole. These last six weeks have been rough on my body but almost done with the course. Hopefully some of the crazy neurological symptoms are due to these drugs. My liver is enlarged so I know I am taking a whipping -- blood tests okay but Smiley rechecked today... I don't care if my lvier fails at this point I am better to be damned for doing... but it hasn't failed so far... ;-) I'm going back to CBT therapist who saw me for free last year. She insisted I take responsibility for my decision to take psychiatric medication and I didn't think she was right.... I realize that her viewpoint is useful and I would like to see her. It's been a year and I look terrible but I am eager to see her and see how she is doing. I am also trying to visit w/ an old friend for a coffee drink (water bottle) on Friday. I have only seen one friend one time (same guy back in April) since I left my mothers place with the mold last August so I am excited... just for old times: November Goal -- Gain 5 lbs to 160 this month! Hope you guys feel ok! Alex Alex, may I ask how tall you are? I would kill to be 160, but I am 5'10", and just under 140. I keep losing weight. I have to say, Alex, I think the majority of your problems are from Effexor XR. The other things going on are bad timing in and of themselves, however I don't know that you'd be suffering THIS much had you neveer been on such drugs as Effexor. I was on it, and it destroyed who I was. Literally. So sorry you'are going through this. jason Zoloft: 2002 - sometime 2003 CTCelexa: 2004 - 2007 20 mgEffexor XR: 2007 - 2009 300 mg!!!Effexor XR: 2010 - 2011 tapered down to 18.75 mg, hard time with interdose withdrawalProzac: 2011 5 mg till October, then got more depressed tried to updose to 10mg for three days and I became suicidal and very illtapered to 2 mg then stopped Feb 20, 2012. Restarting Celexa 10mg March 2017 due to rough patch in my life (anxiety and depression).Link to my intro page hereAlso : was addicted to Klonopin 2004 - 2008, tapered in 2008. Still have on hand for panic, but rarely used. Suspected mold infection living in moldy room 2012. Supplements I take: Multi, probiotic, wild Alaskan salmon oil, C, D3, methylB12, niacinamide, whey protein isolate Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 3, 2013 Author Share Posted November 3, 2013 Hey Jason- I used to be 6-2 but I think I've shrunk a bit due to stress on frame. Effexor and the antidepressants were bad for me. I tend to feel like the antipsychotics were the worst but I'll never know. I also tend to think the benzos were the least bad but all were bad. I went 17 years, basically, taking a psych drug everyday and this has, yes, contributed to my destruction. I feel very out of it. I can't control my impulsive eating. I am considering trying something more drastic to influence my neurotransmitters. I think I am dopamine depleted -- that's too simplistic but my reward center is all messed up. One thing for me is that I had lowish cholesterol so I took a break from any charcoal/cholystyramine because they will deplete and I need every mineral/vitamin. Thanks for the well wishes. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted November 3, 2013 Share Posted November 3, 2013 I think you need some fun for your little dopamine-driven brain cells . Seriously, I went to a seminar where they recommended non-food, especially relational, pleasure to regulate the dopamine reward system. Someday...you will have a life with fun in it. 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 3, 2013 Author Share Posted November 3, 2013 I think you need some fun for your little dopamine-driven brain cells . Seriously, I went to a seminar where they recommended non-food, especially relational, pleasure to regulate the dopamine reward system. Someday...you will have a life with fun in it. Yes so true Meimequest. I have been feeling better lately despite being more deranged neuologically. I went to a local chicken wing restaurant (one I used to work at and know the menu well) and got a table in the restaurant by myself and ordered food and ate it there in the restaurant. Unfortunately I didn't handle the chicken and sweet potatoes too well but overall it was a huge success. This is the first time I have eaten in a restaurant alone in over a year! It was a terrific feeling to see the people and feel like I am a part of here among them! I ate some coconut milk ice cream afterwards and this made me sick. I don't know what to do about my food cravings and intolerances. It seems like I don't have any juice to do anything about it... It's like addiction. I promise tomorrow no more sweets and then I cheat. I will try again to eat well. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 3, 2013 Author Share Posted November 3, 2013 UPDATE: Ate out chicken (see above post) and then convinced myself I should try to make whipped cream b/c maybe its the dairy protein that is bothering me. Ate too much whipped cream w/ coconut milk icecream and blueberries and cranberries. BG hyper/hypo ... bloated. How leaky is my gut? hormones so depleted. Shaving every 2-3 weeks now, very sparse. Probably relateed to leaky gut. But I keep eating stuff I react to and I react to pretty much everything. FOODS I TEST TO: Grains, Corn, Rice, Potato, Sweet Potato Milk, Cream, Yogurt, Dairy Garlic, Green Bean, Tomato, Yeast (Brewer/Baker), Egg Yolk and White, Pinto/Black Bean, Coffee, Tea, Dried Herb, Psyllium Don't eat that stuff and cook at home. OK, Alex, listen. You are very toxic from drugs. You then inhaled mycotoxins. You have compromised immunity w/ infectious pathogens destroying your gut lining... Take a few months and take out the allergenic foods, attack the infections and you will start to get better... Take all steps to temporarily neutralize self-destructive behavior caused by neurological damage of psychotropic toxicity... Tomorrow to collect morning specimen for neurotransmitter evaluation... Start to go to AA or something to be around people... Walk for exercise... Cook at home and clean the apartment for spotlessness. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted November 4, 2013 Share Posted November 4, 2013 Alex, First... kudos on taking yourself out for chicken! I think that just being around people - the energy - can be helpful, especially when in a weakened state. I rarely go out anywhere and find it exhausting to carry on conversation with people I know (or am expected to talk to). Second... What method of neurotransmitter evaluation are you doing? Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 4, 2013 Author Share Posted November 4, 2013 Thanks Barb. I am feeling poorly because of some food choices but it felt good to go out for a meal alone! I am sending in a urine test for the neurotransmitters. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Narcissus Posted November 4, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 4, 2013 Start to go to AA or something to be around people I've thought about doing this too, I even went to one meeting. I enjoyed it, it was helpful to be around people who were struggling and who were, for the most part, serious about getting better. I'm not really sure why I never went again. Have you gone to any meetings, Alex? 3 Years 150 mgs Effexor 2 month taper down to zero 3 terrible weeks at zero Back up to 75 mgs 2 months at 75 6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine. 3 month taper back to zero 1 HORRENDOUS week at zero 2 days back up to 37.5 3 days back up to 75 One week at 150 - unable to stabilize. Back down to 75 mgs At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012. "It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 5, 2013 Author Share Posted November 5, 2013 I am going to go to a meeting today, to get out and about, Narcissus... I'll see how it goes. UPDATE: Great day yesterday. Ate carrots, brussel sprouts, EPIC paleo bars (too many), butternut squash, chicken tortilla soup. Nothing off the prohibited list! Let's carry that into today! Reconsidering lower fat version of GAPS -- I can't digest that fat... Then also continue to detox. Try Premier Mini_LiverGB flush working up to a full GB/Liver flush eventually. Castor oil on abdomen... Add Myers cocktail. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 6, 2013 Author Share Posted November 6, 2013 Best day in long time. Got Myers IV this morning and felt much better afterward. Followed diet 100%. Walked around the mall for a few minutes before got a little weak. Also some new organic sheets and pillows. Maybe soon I will look into replacing some clothes and possibly buying a bed and television. Bones are not doing great but maybe stabilizing. Seems likely that leaky gut/food allergies play a role in bone loss... Also Need to collect sample and send off urine test kit. Maybe I should restart GAPS?? We'll see. Do I need more carb sources? Been watching TV comedies on netflxi and really like laughing. I don't like many shows thesedays but am enjoying Arrested Development seasons 1-3. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Narcissus Posted November 6, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 6, 2013 but am enjoying Arrested Development seasons 1-3. Great stuff! Glad you're doing okay, alex. 3 Years 150 mgs Effexor 2 month taper down to zero 3 terrible weeks at zero Back up to 75 mgs 2 months at 75 6 or so months back to regular dose of 150 - was able to restabilize fine. 3 month taper back to zero 1 HORRENDOUS week at zero 2 days back up to 37.5 3 days back up to 75 One week at 150 - unable to stabilize. Back down to 75 mgs At 75 mgs (half original dose) and suffering withdrawal symptoms since October 2012. "It is a radical cure for all pessimism to become ill, to remain ill for a good while, and then grow well for a still longer period." - Nietzsche Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted November 7, 2013 Administrator Share Posted November 7, 2013 It sounds like there might be some improvement, Alex. Getting out, being around people, thinking about buying things to make your life a little brighter ... those sound like positive steps. Remember, I'm always rooting for you. Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted November 7, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 7, 2013 Best day in long time. Been watching TV comedies on netflxi and really like laughing. I don't like many shows thesedays but am enjoying Arrested Development seasons 1-3. Way to go Alex, very good to hear. Nothing like a good laugh.. you will get there! As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 13, 2013 Author Share Posted November 13, 2013 UPDATE: Here's the latest hypothesis on my case... General toxicity (chemical, heavy metalm more) cause weakened constiution allowing infection which further taxes elimination and then mycotoxins build up and ongoing toxicity from infection and psychiatric drugs. Infection and congestion (liver/colon/kidney/lung) becomes runaway dominoes... leaky gut, mineral deficiency, bone matrix lead, inflammation, allergies... Need to detox and clean cellular environment... Following the order of colon, liver, kidney, blood, lymph cells... First stop Premier Mini Liver Gallbladder flush... Start herbal antiinfective herbalist... Colon cleans if necessary ... Full liver flushes thereafter... Recovery in 100 days? Is it possible? "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted November 13, 2013 Administrator Share Posted November 13, 2013 I don't know if recovery is possible in 100 days, but we would love to hear of improvement in 100 days. Take it at your own pace, Alex. Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
Cookson Posted November 13, 2013 Share Posted November 13, 2013 Really inspirational to read Alex, Its been hard for you but when the roof starts caving in and push comes to shove In your times of hardship you just keep on going. Its frightening how these drugs hijack the fundamental operational functions of are brain and that of are normal bodily processes. And looking at the current unpleasant, difficult predicament you are in now after exposure to this neurotoxin modelling glue It is absolutely criminal how they get away with distributing these drugs. Too your recovery! 2013-July 1st Citalopram 20mg () 2013-August 19th ended Citalopram cold turkey med free. (Took them for 7 weeks) When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; But when I became a man, I put my childish things away. - 1 Corinthians 13:11 Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 13, 2013 Author Share Posted November 13, 2013 Thanks Cookson! To your recovery as well! I am starting to think I need to start acting 'as if' I am recovered because I can do certain things but I hold back because I am afraid of exerting myself and having a setback. But after 3 extremely sick years, following 15 years of debilitation, I am more and more believing the biggest risk is in cautiousness... I met w/ my friend old about 10 days ago... he thought I looked better than I did when I saw him in April thougb i still look sick. He and I are going to try to take a short walk this weekedn. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted November 15, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 15, 2013 Let us know how the walk goes! I agree with you, it's a delicate balance between "hold back to protect yourself" and "hold back too much and weaken yourself." I definitely find that I do better if I push myself to get out and do things a bit--except when I don't and it makes me worse. Sigh. But you being you, if anybody can figure it out and make it work, I have confidence you can! Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 16, 2013 Author Share Posted November 16, 2013 I don't know if recovery is possible in 100 days, but we would love to hear of improvement in 100 days. Take it at your own pace, Alex. Karma Yea, I don't know either... I am feeling a bit better, but a long ways left to go "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 16, 2013 Author Share Posted November 16, 2013 Let us know how the walk goes! I agree with you, it's a delicate balance between "hold back to protect yourself" and "hold back too much and weaken yourself." I definitely find that I do better if I push myself to get out and do things a bit--except when I don't and it makes me worse. Sigh. But you being you, if anybody can figure it out and make it work, I have confidence you can! Thanks Rhi!! I am still leading more towards believing holding myself back is the best course but I am really itching to participate a bit more. It is a tough balance. In the past I have tended towards too much caution but it only takes one overreach to setback very far. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 Returned labs. Cholesterol still low, another evidence for worms/protozoa in intestines. Waiting for neurotransmitters test. Got back mycotoxin sample and mold toxins are neglible, so that's good news after a year of treatment. Not going to be well in 100 days but have been doing better overall, though this is relative. Continued hideous bone pain in arms and legs and joint problems. Perhaps this is fungal? Or due to deficiencies? High lead? Finished the ivermectin and other drugs last week. Liver still bloated up. Trying to decide what to do next? Also constipated and bowel nerve problems again. Constipation is a huge prob. Keep trying to eat hypoketogenic diet -- GAPS didnt work for now. Takes all my energy to spin the wheels. Round and round, next week my birthday another year older. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 Gratitude that I have this thread to go back and read... Coming on three years and invaluable personal health records here. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted November 17, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 17, 2013 Your liver and bone symptoms may improve now that you're off the ivermectin. Do you get to stay off it now? Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 17, 2013 Administrator Share Posted November 17, 2013 My guess is malnutrition plays a large part in your bone and muscle problems. The Myers cocktail seems to help quite a bit. Can you get it more often? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Rhiannon Posted November 17, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 17, 2013 Also, given your diet (and, I agree, malnutrition) I don't think you need to assume that low cholesterol is due to parasites. I don't, of course, know--your situation and various health problems are things I don't have much experience with. But I do remember in school when we were studying parasitology, being told how hard those anti-parasitic medications are on the body. There's a reason for that, it's complicated, but basically, anything that will poison a parasite will also poison your own cells. Hard on the liver. So I'm hoping you get a break from that now for a while. Hopefully you will find a way to get more nutrition and calories and protein into your body soon. Started on Prozac and Xanax in 1992 for PTSD after an assault. One drug led to more, the usual story. Got sicker and sicker, but believed I needed the drugs for my "underlying disease". Long story...lost everything. Life savings, home, physical and mental health, relationships, friendships, ability to work, everything. Amitryptiline, Prozac, bupropion, buspirone, flurazepam, diazepam, alprazolam, Paxil, citalopram, lamotrigine, gabapentin...probably more I've forgotten. Started multidrug taper in Feb 2010. Doing a very slow microtaper, down to low doses now and feeling SO much better, getting my old personality and my brain back! Able to work full time, have a full social life, and cope with stress better than ever. Not perfect, but much better. After 23 lost years. Big Pharma has a lot to answer for. And "medicine for profit" is just not a great idea. Feb 15 2010: 300 mg Neurontin 200 Lamictal 10 Celexa 0.65 Xanax and 5 mg Ambien Feb 10 2014: 62 Lamictal 1.1 Celexa 0.135 Xanax 1.8 Valium Feb 10 2015: 50 Lamictal 0.875 Celexa 0.11 Xanax 1.5 Valium Feb 15 2016: 47.5 Lamictal 0.75 Celexa 0.0875 Xanax 1.42 Valium 2/12/20 12 0.045 0.007 1 May 2021 7 0.01 0.0037 1 Feb 2022 6 0!!! 0.00167 0.98 2.5 mg Ambien Oct 2022 4.5 mg Lamictal (off Celexa, off Xanax) 0.95 Valium Ambien, 1/4 to 1/2 of a 5 mg tablet I'm not a doctor. Any advice I give is just my civilian opinion. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 My guess is malnutrition plays a large part in your bone and muscle problems. The Myers cocktail seems to help quite a bit. Can you get it more often? Yes absolutely. I will get the Myers again on Tuesday. I can get it once a week which I have been the last few weeks. The IV definitely helps. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 17, 2013 Author Share Posted November 17, 2013 Also, given your diet (and, I agree, malnutrition) I don't think you need to assume that low cholesterol is due to parasites. I don't, of course, know--your situation and various health problems are things I don't have much experience with. But I do remember in school when we were studying parasitology, being told how hard those anti-parasitic medications are on the body. There's a reason for that, it's complicated, but basically, anything that will poison a parasite will also poison your own cells. Hard on the liver. So I'm hoping you get a break from that now for a while. Hopefully you will find a way to get more nutrition and calories and protein into your body soon. The cholesterol may not be from the parasites though low total cholesterol is one of the most common symptoms of protozoal infections (like malaria) and also worm infections. It doesn't change treatment the why. Yea the parasite drugs are hard on the body. And could be contributing to the bone pain though the pain predates the drugs. I am probably done w/ the drugs and will continue w/ the herbal antiparasitics. I am hopeful overall that I can remineralize. Eventually I want to do a very nourishing GAPS type diet to rebuild. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
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