☼ alexjuice: About

[alexjuice]

Thank you for the well wishes.

 

My situation has worsened. I have excessive number of a toxic mold byproduct called Ochratoxin (A) in my body. Ochratoxin aggregates in the organs and can cause kidney failure or cancer. After 6 months of treatment, ochratoxin is the remaining 'mycotoxin' and now my kidney blood tests are getting worse. On the Uric Acid, BUN, and creatinine I have been producing abnormal results.

 

I am in physical discomfort due to the pain in my back. Skin is very dry, hands are swollen, urine output reduced. I have been through these symptoms before, when I took a medication called Keppra last summer which is metabolized through the kidney, though the symptoms are worse now. The main treatment is to take binding medication to adhere to the toxins for fecal excretion and to take antifungals to eliminate internal mold colonies which continue to produce ochratoxin in my body.

 

This treatment is not going well. I see the doctor again early next week and will see what can be done better.

 

Alex

[Altostrata]

Good thoughts to you, Alex.

[tezza]

Hi Alex,

 

I know you don't rely much on supplements but I just ordered and rec'd a bottle of lactoferrin. Have you heard of it or ever tried? If not, I was wondering if you thought it could possibly help you at all.

 

Just thinking of you...

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lactoferrin

 

Tezza

[tezza]

I haven't seen you on for a few days, I hope you are okay!

[alexjuice]

Hi Tezza,

 

I'm okay, continuing with my antifungal protocol and not posting as much. I hope you are doing okay.

 

Alex

[tezza]

Alex,

 

I'm okay, I was just missing you and became concerned. Thank you for letting me know. I hope you feel better soon,

 

Love,

Tezza

[alexjuice]

UPDATE:

 

While my biotoxin illness had been improving, my symptoms have steadily worsened over the last few months. I got toxin lab results back and the concentration has gotten worse. My reproductive and urogenital system is hardest hit, including kidneys. Basically, one particular toxin was high, I left for Maine and it went down to 0.0 and now it is high once again. I am probably going to go back to Maine to live for a while.

 

I am also looking for a second opinion because my current doctor, who is pretty knowledgable, has some unresolved cognitive impairment (from her own biotoxin illness) and is not 100% reliable. Sometimes she reacts to me and becomes very disoriented. Mainly because of my kidney stuff, I want another doctor look at my case.

 

I am continuing to taper bdz. Obviously, this makes sleep more difficult. I've had the typical anxiety lately. My anxiety basically centers on "You're unsafe!", "You can't trust anyone!" the people you trusted who proved untrustworthy "They will come back to betray again!" So that sucks! But is it really surprising considering I feel like every I trusted led me to the slaugherhouse. It sucks. I am like a latent attachment disorder that will not bloom.

 

I think about my old friends from before this all started, it's been 5 years now since I've seen any of them. It's been six or seven years that I've been viewed as a rock-bottom case.

 

I used to "can;t believe" this mold stuff, coming on top of the Drugs and drugs and bankruptcy. I think maybe all the things are interrelated a bit so maybe it's not as bad luck as much as sort of all one event. In any way, I have been the victim of much bad luck.

 

I intend not to post as much to the board over the next few weeks as I try to sort out this mess. If I leave for Maine, I will not bring my computer so perhaps a much lengthier posting absence.

 

I hope everyone continues to do okay and get better and enjoy the good when there's good to be enjoyed.

 

Alex

[Narcissus]

I am moved almost to tears by your story, Alexejice. I'm so sorry for all that you have lost (this sounds so hollow in text). I suspect that life must have something wonderful in store for you after having made you suffer so deeply. I truly appreciate your wisdom while I deplore the pain that produced it.

 

I think that suffering gives us a kind of insight others simply don't have. I would hesitate to call it a privilege, but it certainly isn't fruitless.

 

Good luck my friend, your best days are ahead.

[basildev]

Good luck Alex,

 

I hope things turn around for you soon.

[Meimeiquest]

May you have wisdom for all these decisions! So sorry it's so hard!

[dalsaan]

Keep your chin up Alex, things have to turn around for you. You are due some luck and everyone here is wishing it for you. Until then it one foot after the other as it often is

 

I wish I had a magic wand (with anti mould technology and the power to pick the lottery)

 

Take care

 

Dalsaan

[alexjuice]

Thanks to everyone for the very kind wishes. I really appreciate them greatly.

 

UPDATE:

 

I feel that it's been darkness for so long. I came from an emotionally repressed family. When I started on Drugs, my side effects created a black sheep and a lot of the darkness and muck of the family got put on me. After living in close quarters with my mother for six months I see dysfunction in my relationship with her. My family is very sick. I have to take that sickness and give it back to those who own it because I am being crushed by it.

 

We moved again. We took a 90 day lease on an apartment. It's insane.

 

I saw a second mold doctor at a mold clinic out of town. I was disappointed. I got more supplements.

 

I have some kidney issues probably caused by mold toxins. My kidney problem is not very advanced, even though it is very scary. When I was at the mold clinic I saw a woman with a very advanced case of mold toxicity. She had mold growing on her tongue, she couldn't walk straight, her eyes were vacant and her memory gone. Her long and stringy black hair covered her face like an evil witch ina horror movie. She was the most dead I've ever seen a living person. I saw the doctor after her. He said he thought I'd make a complete recovery (considering only the mold) as I still had working organs. I figured he probably didn't tell the other woman she'd recover. It was weird.

 

My immune system through this -- the whole 15 year ordeal -- is lousy. I am really scared often. I try to keep calm but life is so limited. I think about the past but I lack good memories.

 

I will be retested for mold toxins soon. Hopefully they go down. I have other infections. I think my digestive problems are caused by infectious protozoa and I probably have some chronic viral or bacterial infections. And I have fungus. I don't know what kind of fungus, except that it's not candida species. It only grows on my skin in one place, on my toes -- white fuzz. It's gross. The lab is trying to culture my stool but it takes a couple of months and is not often definitive.

 

I took an HIV test because HIV is the most common cause in America of immune deficiency. I don't have HIV. This is good, I've always had HIV anxiety.

 

Here's my plan, more or less, for the next 90 days.

 

1. Get mold toxin level down and improve kidney. The mold toxins can be deactivated or eliminated via feces. However, my bowel is inflamed so I'm backing away from the binders. Melatonin may help. Resveratol may help. Hydrogen peroxide, vitamin C, ozone may help. Certain yeasts like S. cerrrrrr and S boulllllll may help.

 

2. Treat gut infections.

 

3. Work on healing emotional trauma of my life to here.

 

4. Get off benzodiazepines.

 

5. Accept it.

 

The body can heal and rebuild. I'm worth getting better.

 

Good luck to everyone and hope yall feel okay today.

[Meimeiquest]

This is silly, but I've been worrying about you...you know we know each other so well! I missed seeing your comments. I guess that's a sort of good report about the mold. Insight about your family of origin is always good news, even if it stinks. Have you ever tried juicing veggies, can you even tolerate it? Wishing you good health!

[Altostrata]

We love you, Alex, we're rooting for you.

[Barbarannamated]

We love you, Alex, we're rooting for you.

 

Yes, we sure are!

[Karma]

 

We love you, Alex, we're rooting for you.

 

Yes, we sure are!

 

Ditto that from me, too.

 

And here is a couple of Karma hugs ...

 

Love you, Alex.

[areyouthere]

Love you buddy. You are one tough cookie. Never give up!

 

RU

[SaltedGingkoNuts]

I just read your 1-minute story. It breaks my heart and pisses me off too! I'm so MAD at these doctors who hand out AD's like it's candy. It stole YEARS from you!!!

I am so grateful to have found this site and will check in EVERY DAY to see how everyone is doing.

Together we can lick this thing!!!!!!!!

-Tim

[mammaP]

Thinking aboutt you Alex. XX

[Rhiannon]

Hi Alex, love you, thinking of you.

[flower]

Alex I have a friend who had serious health issues related to the mold in her kitchen cupboards. She purchased this home not knowing. I just wanted you to know. After alot of cleaning and doc visits she is back to feeling herself. It is possible so hang in there. Moving was not an option for her as she spent her retirement on this house.

[Nikki]

Hi Alex

 

FYI most people have dysfunctional families. You are not alone in this arena. Can you practice detachment. In other words....your Mom/family do what they do because of who they are, not because of you. That has helped me.

 

Alex a friend of mine had mold in her condo. She had it resolved but she ended up with a systemic candida.

 

What she has done is to totally eliminate carbs, sugar and the like from her diet. She has taken Nystatin and Diflucan. There has been so much improvement and she is fine now.

 

I recently purchased SolarRay Probiotics and they are the best I've used so far. It keeps yeast at bay.

 

My brother just did a Liver/Kidney/Colon Cleanse and he could not believe what toxins, stones and crystals he had developed over the years.

 

It returns the flora to it's natural state.

 

Lots of Hugs Alex

[alexjuice]

Thanks for the support everyone. I feel so grateful for all the kindness here!

 

UPDATE:

 

Another bad diabetic-ish evening after too much carbohydrate drove my blood sugar over 180 for an hour or so. Terrible side effects of the hyperglycemia -- leg pain and numbness, extreme weakness, thirst, vision deterioration. I am, I suppose, functionally diabetic. If I took a carb-loading test I'd probably break 200. I am very careful to space my carbs and I rarely get over 140 but lately glycemic control been worse. I'm looking into possible ways to address this... I've also struggled with severe constipation. I am looking at ways to address that as well.

 

Back pain. Low, mid and high.

 

I am continuing to decrease benzodiazepines and have been sleeping well, surprisingly. I think bentonite clay has helped and i made a post about it.

 

I am very mindful of the air I breath and I bought a couple of houseplants. My bedroom is noticeably cleaner and more comforting for me since I bought them. I think I will buy more actually. Another mold patient of Dr. Smiley's recommended I purchase some hearty, air purifiying plants, and I am very grateful for the suggestion.

 

Inexplicably cold weather for May in central Texas. It was in the 30s the other day with highs in the 40s. This is nearly unprecedented. Typically May starts 100 days of 100+ degree weather. It felt surreal to see people in hooded coats, winds whipping cold misty air by their chafing faces... Today is very nice. I look forward to the heat and the sun. I am able to tolerate it and sweat and dryness is advocated for my mold issue.

 

I am such a different person than i was just a few years ago. I used to hate the light, I lived at night. I loved the rain. I loved the smell of coffee and cigarettes. I could eat whatever i wanted with weight gain being the only real consequence. Those days are gone for now and maybe for ever. I wish I was healthy.

 

Good luck,

Alex

[SaltedGingkoNuts]

Sorry about your rough night. I watch my blood glucose closely also (I am a Type-2 diabetic and now wonder if I'll ever be able to stop the anti-depressant because of the help it gives me for the neuropathy).

Will keep checking in on you, for sure.

 

-Tim

[Barbarannamated]

Alex,

 

Are you tolerating the sun and heat better than in the past? If so, what do you attribute that to?

[alexjuice]

Sorry about your rough night. I watch my blood glucose closely also (I am a Type-2 diabetic and now wonder if I'll ever be able to stop the anti-depressant because of the help it gives me for the neuropathy).

Will keep checking in on you, for sure.

 

-Tim

 

Hi TIm,

Thanks, it was a rough night. I am fortunate that nights like that are rare events. My blood sugar is usually pretty well controlled and I've not been diagnosed with diabetes myself. I don't know about the specifics of your situation though it's possible you may be able to address neuropathic pain without needing an antidepressant. I think that that is likely actually, but you'll have to see what works for your and your health.

 

Good luck,

Alex

[alexjuice]

Alex,

 

Are you tolerating the sun and heat better than in the past? If so, what do you attribute that to?

 

Hey Barb,

Yes tolerating it vastly better. This time 2 years ago I was wearing sunglasses just to look at the computer screen and rarely left the house during that summer because of the Texas sun.

 

I do have a fungal infection and my body probably needs the light and the heat more now. Also, a lot of time has passed (2 years) and I have, perhaps, healed enough in that area that the brightness doesn't bother me like it used to. Finally, at that time I was living with a constant toxic exposure that made every neurotoxic symptom much worse. I probably do not emphasize the degree of the toxin level at my mother's home - if the toxins had been 1/500th of their measured level the home would still have classified an environmental hazard.

 

In all humility, I don't have a good answer to a lot of the 'why' type of questions. If I did, I'd know what to do right now and I don't.

 

Alex

[alexjuice]

Inspired by some old Notes I found in my Facebook account, I wrote this on May 6, 2013:

 

25 Things About Me

 

1. I've made about $50,000 by working during my life.

 

2. As someone from a broken home, I envy people who admire their parents.

 

3. I have a back log of individuals and institutions whom I'd like to sue.

 

4. My proudest accomplishment involves breaking out of voluntary confinement.

 

5. Other than my the members of my family of origin, Paul Pierce is the person I've watched for the most hours.

 

6. I've eaten a drug everyday of my life since sometime in 1997.

 

7. I wish I was born five years earlier even though that means I'd be five years older this year (2013).

 

8. My least favorite cities are Houston and Los Angeles.

 

9. I am 34 years old and I think my home town was way cooler 'back in my day' and feel sadness for what it's become.

 

10. I probably will never seriously socialize with many (maybe any) of the people who I spent the most time with since the turn of the millenium.

 

11. I like the people that I know a lot than I like people in the aggregate.

 

12. Some say I repeat myself or belabor a point too often.

 

13. I hit my intellectual peak at age 15 or 16, at least the data supports this idea.

 

14. I try not to start sentences with "I feel that" or "I feel like"

 

15. The most important lesson I've learned thus far in life is to pay attention to what people do and not what people say.

 

16. I learned a lot more about life drinking beer at strip clubs than I learned in courses at college.

 

17. When I land in Boston and walk outside of Logan airport the air smells like home even though I left New England 25 years ago.

 

18. My favorite thing about my childhood is the memory of the grass: soft grass, bare feet.

 

19. I admired my grandmother sooner than this was fashionable.

 

20. The sports figure I most admire is Larry Bird.

 

21. I think about handcuffs, visualize handcuffs, all the time. I'm wearing handcuffs right now.

 

22. I'd like to get married. Shame about marriage.

 

23. I'd like to have kids. Shame about marriage.

 

24. My weight has fluctuated by close to 100 lbs in an 18 month period twice in my life, neither time do to exercise or specific dieting.

 

25. I am not dating anyone because right now I have nothing to offer.

 

...

Five years late, I am.

[alexjuice]

Noticed a headache a few days. Yesterday some ear pain and ringing in ears. Today sinus pressure, worse ear pain, sound sensitivity and ringing. I'm going to see the doctor tomorrow. I think I have a sinus or ear infection.

 

I added my alexej yahoo email to my signature. Alexej.radina is a stage name of mine.

 

Hope you guys are feeling ok today.

 

Alex

[Karma]

Drive by hug, Alex,

 

Karma

[alexjuice]

Thanks for the hug. I've been feeling a little but not doing much better. I hope I recover or crash out by year end. I'm in an okay place right now about my health because I am working on gratitude and doing my best to accept reality.

 

Been taking doxy for sinus infection and loading probiotics. My ears have stopped ringing and my headache is gone, so that;s good. I'm also drinking more bone broth which generally helps me.

 

I am going to try to eat the Perfect Health Diet once again, though because of my mold exposure I am having trouble with any dairy products, eggs, and anything dried or yeasty. I also think my prostate problem, which began as a weight lifting injury early in w/d, has a yeast component.

 

I am grateful that my family, as much as they disappoint me, have supported me in trying to reclaim my life after 17 years of psych Drugging.

 

Lastly, I may go back to Maine. My sister is very pregnant and my mom wants to spend time with her. I also got some alternative health care in Mass that I can't get here in Texas. So that's a possibility in the coming week or weeks.

 

Hope everyone is feeling okay today.

[areyouthere]

Hi Alex,

 

Gratitude is a good thing. Mining for the diamonds can be rough when the overburden so is deep.

 

You sound good today. It must be working!!!!

 

I hope above all hopes , at this moment, that you are granted more days like today more frequently in your near future.

 

Hang tight.

 

RU

[alexjuice]

Tapered down benzos a bit further. Having bowel trouble particularly nerve pain and loss of sensation inside the colon as well as disturbed BMs, probably do to protozoal infection.

 

Having achieved a lower dose of BDZ I intend to try anti-protozoal prescription drug protocol. I am a little afraid of any cconsequences but I am more alarmed at the nerve problems in my bowel.

 

At this point, I've decided I prefer to be damned for doing in the invarying "damned if I do, damned if I don't" connundrum defining my health.

 

So hopefully I can rid myself of this parasitic disorder and start to recover my health.

 

Again, I may soon return to New England for medical treatmetn. I don't have much confidence in my doctor here in Texas.

[alexjuice]

Met with Dr. Caring today and discussed her assuming Dr. Y's position writing my prescriptions.

 

Have had a skin rash with blisters all over my arm for a few days. I don't know what's causing it, possibly an allergc reaction or maybe some sort of infection...

 

I feel very anrgy about my drugging at the recommendation of Dr. FG ... As I lower the BDZ I feel more desire to move my tongue and I get extremely angry and the damage that has been done to me. He can rot in hell. If I improve my health situation I intend to sue him...

 

Also on that note I have seen a number of health care providers who try to talk me out of pursuing a lawsuit against FG. They think it will be bad for me, that trying to sue him is dwelling and 'not letting go'... I think that I may not be able to sue him because he didn't technically do anything wrong under the law (I'm not saying that's the case but saying that might be how a lawyer finds it.) However, it feels like these other healthcare providers have a knee jerk reaction to the idea of lawsuits and that talking to them about it is like going to St Augustine's church to talk to Father Patrick about how Father Samuel sexually assaulted me over at St Joseph's ... It's hard to take advice from someone 'inside the cathedral..." I say FU to "not letting go"... It's called accountability and I have a right and a duty to THE TRUTH to pursue that course to get it on the record that I don't and never did fit the diagnostic criteria (however stupid those are) for Schizoaffectve or Shizophrenia and I ended up on mass drugs because my doctor was drugged and after that when I went to rehab DR FG didn't want to tell the rehab shrinks that he had put me on those medications while he was intoxicated... I thinkn that's the truth and I look forward to finding an attorney who is willing to help me get that on the record. To hell that I am going to walked over like a 2nd class citizen by a 2-bit drunk with a needle in his arm.

[Barbarannamated]

AGREE! AGREE! AGREE!

 

Exceptionally well articulated, Alex. I have also felt the unified resistance of the fraternity of MDs on several occasions now. Even those who know the dangers and recognize obvious wrongdoing want to steer clear of anything litigous, regardless of side.

 

I spoke briefly to some lawyers at the 2011 ISEPP Convention. At the time, they were plannng to approach these SSRI / psych drug damage cases from a different (interesting) angle. I will get their info to you in case you in case you'd like to contact them.

 

"Let it go" does not sit well with me, either. Perhaps at some point I'll have the strength to fight.

 

B~

[areyouthere]

I say FU to "not letting go"... It's called accountability and I have a right and a duty to THE TRUTH to pursue that course to get it on the record that I don't and never did fit the diagnostic criteria (however stupid those are) for Schizoaffectve or Shizophrenia and I ended up on mass drugs because my doctor was drugged and after that when I went to rehab DR FG didn't want to tell the rehab shrinks that he had put me on those medications while he was intoxicated... I thinkn that's the truth and I look forward to finding an attorney who is willing to help me get that on the record. To hell that I am going to walked over like a 2nd class citizen by a 2-bit drunk with a needle in his arm.

 

I hope that you do whatever you can to set the record straight. I understand to some degree your strong feelings about righting a wrong - especially one that is covered up.

 

In a strange way it is similar to what is happening in education reform right now. I think we are hurting kids not helping them. There will be a day ( I hope) when I can find the avenue and courage to stand up for what I feel is right.... and that is exposing the truth.

 

We ALWAYS have the right to expose the truth.... it is when and ONLY when we know the time is right ( and we can't get hurt by it) it is our duty IMO. If it is your time and the stars are lined up... kick some ass. It'll give the rest of us something to look forward to..... OUR time!

 

RU