Administrator Karma Posted October 19, 2012 Administrator Share Posted October 19, 2012 Hi Alex, Thanks for the update - I know many of us watch for updates from you. Wow, the house in Maine also has mold ... it just has to get better. Do you think you will stay in that state or move back to your home state? I think it is common to be reactive to lots of things when the immune system is compromised/challenged as your is ... when I found out about my gluten allergy I was very reactive to all sorts of foods ... gave up soy, dairy and gluten containing grains along with a few other things. Other people I have met have had lots of sensitivities, but as they heal their sensitivities lesson. Now, 7 years later I can eat dairy and I no longer react to soy ... although I still avoid it. I no longer have the seasonal allergies that I used to suffer with either ... in fact, I no longer have asthma. So, I'm telling you this because as dark as it looks right now, I believe you can get better. I think you are in the worst of it right now. Have you looked at alternative practitioners? What I have found is that the solution doesn't always show up the way we think it will. For me, it showed up as a petite certified nutritionist who worked with me for years. I'm not saying that a nutritionist can solve your health issues, but I am saying that you should keep an open mind and keep looking. Love and light ... and lots of healing energy, Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
alexjuice Posted October 26, 2012 Author Share Posted October 26, 2012 Yes, Karma, totally. I am reactive to everything and I hope you are right, that things settle down. Thanks for your well wishes and support. HUGS to you! UPDATE: I've returned to Texas. I started an antifungal and have paused it to run liver tests after abdominal pain. I've wondered a lot about how much of my ordeal was due to psychiatric medication and how much due to mold exposure. After two months of mold treatment, it's clear to me the answer is both. My hypersensitivity is causing problems. I am dealing with neuropathy in the legs after a bad reaction recently. I took a manageable dose, 1/3 of the standard dosage and 1/6 of the acute-therapeutic dosage. Back in town, I visited with my GP, who is a great guy. Unfortunately, he knows nothing about mold and nothing about iatrogenic psych damage. My visit with him marked a rarity in our relationship. His concern about my shrinking testosterone exceeded my own... I've been watching the slow atrophy for 8 months, so I am not all that surprised. Also, I hold out hope that treating infection will stop the hormonal disturbance. Anyway, he was quite concerned. I've been seeing him since I first left home in 1998, he even has the same nurse, and he's always been compassionate and respectful towards me, even when I was abusing alcohol and acting psychotic under the influence of antipsychotics. We are waiting to move into a rental house. A few snags must be avoided. Hopefully, we will have permanent shelter within a week. Hope you guys are feeling ok. Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted October 28, 2012 Author Share Posted October 28, 2012 Forgot to update taper. Moved down to 2.25 clonazepam, then 2.125, then back to 2.25. Originally at 2.375. I've adapted to the new dose and feel no withdrawal symptoms. My sleep has been terrific for two weeks. Next I intend to decrease the diazepam from 12.5mg to 10. I take other medications and diazepam is too interactive. I have no timetable on the valium taper, no start date. There is a lot going on so I may just start a very slow taper, like 0.04mg/day and hold after a few weeks. Then recommence. I don't want to take the medication any longer nor do I want withdrawal effects. I'll pick my poison and try to limit w.d Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted October 28, 2012 Administrator Share Posted October 28, 2012 Hey Alex I see you are back in TX ... did your mom come back, too? You sound a little more stable being back in your old surroundings. If I recall correctly you have some reasonable doctors available to you there. I understand all about getting off of the benzos especially if they are interactive with your other meds, but ... and you know this ... go slowly and monitor your reactions. Love ya, Alex Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 Thanks for the loves, Karma! UPDATE: We found a place to rent in a nice part of the outskirts of town. Not far from mom's house. It checked out on the field test. Move in this weekend. Finally. Got back two labs. My liver enzymes were elevated so antifunal therapy has been suspended. Also got back genetic testing. I fall into the dreaded genotype group "double 4353" which is rare, in about 7% of Americans. I am constitutionally poor at clearing mold toxins thus my serious sickness. Also revisited some testing showing high mercury. I don't know how my mercury is so high but my Boston doctor is concerned about it. Yeast and mercury have some sort of interwoven relationship. I don't know, just wrapping my head around this. Some treatments for mold activate mercury and this is a risky thing to do. So I've NAC, ALA, Glutathione, and others are on shorter leashes or cut. I gave thought to dieing yesterday. I'm feeling better. Still I can not lift a 7 pound gallon of water up a flight of stairs with two arms and I have stopped shaving my face as of three weeks ago. Weeks ago, when I was in greater pain, I didn't care about my impotence, weakness, frailty, decay or misfortune. Feeling better, I do feel sadder, seeing all the things in life I can not participate in. It's easier to be very ill chronically than simply ill, because the distractions are no so strong and real life taunts you. It's possible I can make a swift recovery, stabilize on exogenous hormones and move on. It's also possible that I'll develop more illnesses, autoimmune or CFS-type ailments. We'll see. I am going to start a slow taper of diazepam this weekend. I can't wait any longer to ease off. Hope everyone is feeling, okay. Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted November 2, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2012 Hi Alex I'm glad you found a place to rent. I'm hoping that's a turn for the good in lots of ways Wishing you all the best Dalsaan Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted November 2, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2012 It's possible I can make a swift recovery, stabilize on exogenous hormones and move on. It's also possible that I'll develop more illnesses, autoimmune or CFS-type ailments. We'll see. Hey Alex... are you still posting on you tube? This is the first time I've actually heard of someone with problems with mercury. Around here there have been warnings for years about not eating the larger predator fish because of the increased concentration of Hg up the food chain. This may be a good cautionary tale regarding fish oil supplements?? Or did you not take any? Well wishes your way.... Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 2, 2012 Administrator Share Posted November 2, 2012 Good fish oil supplements are supposed to have the mercury removed. More hugs to you, Alex. I'm sure you'll gradually get stronger and recover. You're going to be all right. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 Good fish oil supplements are supposed to have the mercury removed. Many brands test for toxins using a third party and make their proofs available online. Also, I only use fish oil derived from small fishes which are uniformly low in mercury, relatively speaking. My fish oil, like many, comes from sardines and/or achovies. I don't have reason to believe the fish oil contributed to my mercury. I really have no clue why I have so high a mercury load. I don't have metal fillings, never worked a job that entailed smashing flopurescent tubes... I don't get it. Dammit, though. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted November 2, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2012 Many brands test for toxins using a third party and make their proofs available online. I have a consumerlabs subscription, do you know of other good resources? Alex.. I'm glad you are in 'safe' housing and so very very sorry you are going through all this. Unbelievable... NOT. I just don't have the words to adequately respond.. Schuyler As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 2, 2012 Author Share Posted November 2, 2012 I have a consumerlabs subscription, do you know of other good resources? Chris Kresser's Fish Oil Guide I only link him because he's my very good friend. ;-) "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted November 2, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 2, 2012 I have a consumerlabs subscription, do you know of other good resources? Chris Kresser's Fish Oil Guide I only link him because he's my very good friend. ;-) Cool, thanks. Edit.. Woa, they recommend the type I just bought on Amazon. Fancy that! Chris Kresser's Fish Oil Guide Supplemental Jarrow Max DHA Ingredients: 600 mg of omega-3 (250 mg DHA, 36 mg EPA) per capsule; one capsule is one serving. Price: $14.85 (at Vitacost) for 180 capsules. $0.08/serving. Advantages: even after considering the differences in absorptions between Jarrow Max (an ethyl ester) and the two natural triglyceride oils listed above, Jarrow Max is significantly cheaper. It’s possible to get 1g/d of DHA for $0.32. Made with anchovies and sardines, both of which are naturally low in contaminants. Jarrow faxed me their certificate of analysis, which checked out fine. This is a good choice for those wishing a high-dose of DHA in addition to eating fish or taking one of the natural triglyceride oils above. Disadvantages: has a 7:1 ratio of DHA to EPA. Although I believe DHA to be more beneficial than EPA, the research is mixed on this and some people report that they do better with EPA. As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 4, 2012 Author Share Posted November 4, 2012 UPDATE: Been having trouble breathing now and then for the last week or two. Some of the supplements that I take for mold seem to bring it on, or possibly a medication. But things have not gone back to normal and I sometimes have weird heartbeats or breathing problems in a hot bath or during activity. I am also using a nebulizer to take glutathione and this may be a lousy idea, after some research. I think, come year's end, I'll possess more clarity on my health situation. I'm very uncertain now and look forward. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 4, 2012 Administrator Share Posted November 4, 2012 Pullin' for ya, Alex. Those fish oil posts are great, could you folks add them to the fish oil topic in Symptoms? Thanks. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Nadia Posted November 6, 2012 Share Posted November 6, 2012 Heh, heh, your good friend Chris Kresser... If I remember correctly the Chris Kresser links are already in the fish oil thread. Or maybe they are somewhere else... Anway, Alex! I'm glad you are moving to "clean" housing. I hope that is the first step in what is to be a great period of healing. '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 10, 2012 Author Share Posted November 10, 2012 UPDATE: Moved into rental house. Stopped a binding med. Feel worse, vascular effects. Thyroid janky - neck burn. Rejecting all 'helpful' intereventions from mold doctor, none have worked but all caused rapid heart beat, breathing problems. Difficulty breathing led me to make a doctor's appt and ended up in the ER - they take heart agitations and breathing problems seriously. At ER got chest xray, ekg - both normal. Sent home with prednisone... (If I had a dollar for every unfilled prednisone I'd pocketed lately...) Mold doc checked testosterone and the Free T returned to low-normal (9.9ng/UL) but she did not check the LH so the result is not that meaningful. Have to recheck hormones next week. Also, stopped antifungal after liver enzymes returned elevated. Second stool test for eval, then decided how to proceed. Mercury is a problem. This is probably a bigger problem than I realized. More to come on this. Reduced valium a bit... 5%... May try to cross a bit back to clonazepam. DIAZEPAM WAS A HUGE MISTAKE AND I WILL, I HOPE, SOMEDAY WRITE A POST ABOUT WHY/HOW... So disturbed by testicular mass loss. 3 most-likely causes: malnourishment caused atrophy, cell-death by infection, cell-death by autoimmune attack. There are also other potential causes, more esoteric. I spend much time out doors. Too bad it will colder soon. Thank God the US election is over. I need to have my head examined for watching televisino and surfing general interest sites like the yahoo homepage. Hope everyone is feeling pretty good today. Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted November 12, 2012 Administrator Share Posted November 12, 2012 I vote for malnutrition. Good to hear you're settling in, alex. More hugs to you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 16, 2012 Author Share Posted November 16, 2012 I vote for malnutrition. Good to hear you're settling in, alex. More hugs to you. Hugs back, Alto. Malnutrition is definitely a factor. I started on a different antifungal and, from my reaction, know my gut is impaired. I am struggling to get settled actually but emotionally I am reassured that once settled I should be able to stay settled. The last four months or so have been unbelievable with moving stress. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 16, 2012 Author Share Posted November 16, 2012 UPDATE: Decreased valium 5% or so just over a week ago. Withdrawal minor thus far. But with the long valium half life, I probably need to hold it here a little longer. I hate valium. Currently at 2.25 klonopin (equivalent 45 valium) and 11.x valium (equiv to 11 valium) for a total BZD of 46 units. My reduction -- 5% of diazepam -- is a only a reduction of about 1 BZD unit. Hopefully, things stay ok and I can initiate a more profound reduction -- probably water titrate. Other health stuff: Uncertain path right now. One thing I know helped was a vitamin/mineral IV back in New England. I am looking for a doc to give me same. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted November 17, 2012 Administrator Share Posted November 17, 2012 Hey Alex Did you get a Myers' Cocktail IV? I had a series of those about two years ago and they did help me feel better (I hadn't really experienced any withdrawal symptoms at that point in my taper). I know that with the B & C vitamins in the Myers' that it can stimulating to some people. Myers' includes Magnesium, Calcium, B12, B6, B5, B complex, and vitamin C. You might look for a wellness doctor to support you with those kinds of treatment. So happy that you appear to have a stable place to live now and I hope you find your healing path. Love and light, Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 Hey Alex Did you get a Myers' Cocktail IV? I had a series of those about two years ago and they did help me feel better (I hadn't really experienced any withdrawal symptoms at that point in my taper). I know that with the B & C vitamins in the Myers' that it can stimulating to some people. Myers' includes Magnesium, Calcium, B12, B6, B5, B complex, and vitamin C. You might look for a wellness doctor to support you with those kinds of treatment. So happy that you appear to have a stable place to live now and I hope you find your healing path. Love and light, Karma Yea, it was a Myers Cocktail. Actually a Myers + a little is how my doctor described it. No Calcium though. Added homeopathic remedies, metals (zinc, sel, molyb, mang) and also taurine. Really helped. I think it was the C more than anything else, because it stimulated immune and bowel. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 20, 2012 Author Share Posted November 20, 2012 UPDATE: Got my second stool test back. The first part. I have another test coming back after Thanksgiving. My gut is in much worse shape than in May. I have H. Pylori infection. Fungal infection. Another protozoal positive (parasite)? I may still have mold mycotoxins -- they're very expensive to measure and it's too soon to risk wasting the money. I may also have a chronic viral infection, but due to my weak immune system and not a chronic viral like hepatitis C or something of that nature. The measures showing how effectively I absorb my food (specifically fats) showed extreme malabsorption. No blood cells in stool, which is good. Frustrated! Not just the bad gut but my bad gut is causing destruction systemically, specifically hormonally and immune/autoimmune. Alto, you voted abosorption, and it's definitely an issue. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Nadia Posted November 21, 2012 Share Posted November 21, 2012 Alex, I have a friend with severe gut problems and H. pylori who has had great success with Monolaurin (concentrated lauric acid). She has malabsorption probs as well, and leaky gut and immune probs because of it. Maybe it could help you? N. P.S. What stool tests are you getting? '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 Metametrix GI. I've researched labs extensively and believe them most thorough. I actually can not evaluate the science myself but I the health writers I am most thoroughly familiar with support Metametrix, pretty unanimously actually. At the doctor's on Monday, I added a new supplement, which I haven't yet opened. It's Lauricidin, a monolaurin supplement. Maybe you should be a doctor, Nadia! Seriously, thanks for the input and the interest. I am so tired of all of this - I'm sure you can relate. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 21, 2012 Author Share Posted November 21, 2012 I used to believe I was a permanently disable mental patient, drug addict. I tried to kill myself about it. To survive that to find out it was all a trick and now be too sick to do much differently, saddens me. I am thankful for knowledge. Everything else is an epic disappointment. Thanksgiving, 2012 "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted November 22, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 22, 2012 Thinking of you Alex on this eve of Thanksgiving. If it's any consolation, I would be more thankful if the people holding thanksgiving could understand me more. As it stands, I likely won't go. I fear I am one of those who has a lot and does not understand that thankfulness is something I purposely and obnoxiously cannot recognize. For example, these same people ( in laws) very likely love me and would accept me and my "drug problems" ( they call people who take aspirin "druggies" ) if I could admit to it. I just don't see any reason, as of now, to reveal myself. One day, when I think I understand and love myself, I hope I can "expose" myself to them so I can be accepted. I feel they are waiting for this revelation as it is obvious that I have problems. But what is hard for me is that I want to distinguish my mental health "problems" from what makes me me and I won't allow depression and anxiety to define me. I'm better than that. No real point to this... but your post struck me. I can't say that I feel your pain or understand who you are. But what I say is that I understand the yearn to be understood and accepted ... I feel that too. I accept you for who you are Alex. At face value. Unconditionally. I can also say that admire you... especially your intelligence and writing ability. You are an eloquent writer. I know a bit about good writers ; enough to say that you have a gift for being able to express your thoughts, feelings and experiences in many different ways that are easy to read and understand. For example, when it comes to the medical, technically complicated stuff, you yourself comprehend what you read so well that you are able to relay it in a way that anyone ( like me) can understand it. That is not an easy task. When you are writing with urgency it comes across as urgent and one reads it more intensly. When you write about a more casual, everyday occurance , the reader immediately senses the tone and can anticipate a piece of writing that will very likely include a bit of clever, ironic, but most enjoyable wittiness that we all will be able to relate to. I guess that I will end by saying that I am thankful for Alexejice's contribution of his sharing his writing talents here. RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Nadia Posted November 26, 2012 Share Posted November 26, 2012 Metametrix GI. I've researched labs extensively and believe them most thorough. I actually can not evaluate the science myself but I the health writers I am most thoroughly familiar with support Metametrix, pretty unanimously actually. At the doctor's on Monday, I added a new supplement, which I haven't yet opened. It's Lauricidin, a monolaurin supplement. Maybe you should be a doctor, Nadia! Seriously, thanks for the input and the interest. I am so tired of all of this - I'm sure you can relate. Wow, Alex, what a coincidence! I hope you try it and it helps you as much as it has helped her. She has been really struggling for so long and is oversensitive to so many things, but had no troublesome reactions to that at all and incredible improvement. I looked up your thread because I was looking at a website that Rhi posted about: planetthrive.com, looking up stuff on neuroplasticity. The website is for people who suffer from Multiple Chemical Sensitiviy, but there is a some stuff on there on problems caused by mold exposure. The basic idea is that due to a virus, a trauma, an exposure to a toxin or a chemical, etc., your brain's sympathetic nervous system gets out of wack. All sorts of things start to malfunction neurologically, and your immune system becomes affected as well. What you said about your mercury levels being high came to mind when I read that it could be that the damage caused makes your body unable to properly detoxify. So that could explain why you have high mercury even though you haven't had very high exposure to mercury. What is interesting is that there are a couple of programs out there like Gupta's Amygdala retraining and another program by Annie Hopper that people have had sucess with. The idea is to repair your body and brain's vicious cycle of sensitivity and reaction through conscious exercises that provoke neuroplasticity. Both the programs are adamant about saying that this doesn't mean that the problem is just in your mind. However, you can do exercises to help your body and brain reach a healthy homeostasis that will then help you heal. Since you are so reactive to anti-mold meds, I was thinking this could be an option? Recently I have seen some improvement, and I think it is based on conscious effort on my part to exercise new patterns of thinking. It can all sound like hocus pocus, but like you say, I'm so tired of all this, and I've become convinced that I need to find a way to help direct my brain to health. I've also thought how important it is to think in more positive patterns, and how I can suddently be much better in a new environment, at least temporarily. And how even severe illness like cancer can be affected by the brain. So... I haven't shelled out the money for the programs, and I'm still skeptical (I am oh, so skeptical always), but I'm trying to cobble together some techniques from the forums. My skeptical nature goes off with the mention of EFT and NLP, but hey... I've tried everything else, haven't I? Why not give it a go... they stress this isn't a magic cure and it requires 6 months of at least one hour a day of "retraining" your brain. That in itself is a good sign. Anyway, I thought I would mention it, because so much of what I've read on that site so far reminded me of stuff you have mentioned you are going through. Let me know your thoughts on this! And as I go forward with my plan I'll let you know if I have any success with this for my issues. The programs are not developed specifically for AD withdrawal OR mold toxicity problems, but I have a feeling they are broad enough to help. Certainly they could not hurt. The thing is they require a firm commitment. After two years of this hell, I'm ready to try! Check out these links: http://planetthrive.com/2009/08/mold-illness-web-resources/ http://planetthrive.com/2009/10/ashok-gupta-interview/ http://planetthrive.com/2009/08/amygdala-retraining™-program/ '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 Nadia, Thanks for the links. I've checked out those sites before but thanks for thinking of me. Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 26, 2012 Author Share Posted November 26, 2012 Thinking of you Alex on this eve of Thanksgiving. If it's any consolation, I would be more thankful if the people holding thanksgiving could understand me more. As it stands, I likely won't go. I fear I am one of those who has a lot and does not understand that thankfulness is something I purposely and obnoxiously cannot recognize. For example, these same people ( in laws) very likely love me and would accept me and my "drug problems" ( they call people who take aspirin "druggies" ) if I could admit to it. I just don't see any reason, as of now, to reveal myself. One day, when I think I understand and love myself, I hope I can "expose" myself to them so I can be accepted. I feel they are waiting for this revelation as it is obvious that I have problems. But what is hard for me is that I want to distinguish my mental health "problems" from what makes me me and I won't allow depression and anxiety to define me. I'm better than that. No real point to this... but your post struck me. I can't say that I feel your pain or understand who you are. But what I say is that I understand the yearn to be understood and accepted ... I feel that too. I accept you for who you are Alex. At face value. Unconditionally. I can also say that admire you... especially your intelligence and writing ability. .... Thank you for all those wonderful sentiments, RU. My birthday was the 23rd -- was that Thanksgiving -- and life just keeps on, as you know. Nothing feels normal right now. A couple of friends from far away emailed me with questions about how I liked my Turkey or if I watched some football. They don't get it. Someday life may be back to normal but it's not back yet. No where close. I'm glad I have this forum and you guys who aren't interested in what I am buying for Xmas. Anyway, I'm in a downer of a mood, but I did want to express my gratitude for your kindness and empathetic sentiments. Thanks, RU. Appreciate much. Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 27, 2012 Author Share Posted November 27, 2012 UPDATE: What do I call my mold doctor? Dr. Smiley? My confidence in Dr. Smiley deteriorates as time passes. She is mold-centric and all my symptoms will resolve, she tells me, once I have completed my detox which, to her great surprise, keeps not following the grand plan. For instance, I take her stuff and the have trouble breathing, trouble with ligh tolerance and my left eye is twitching and insulin resistance getting worse, vision getting worse .... And Smiley is like, "that's mold. those are all mold symptoms, you're just having many at once. keep doing what you're doing." My current residence may be problematic as well. I'm again having vascular inflammation/pain and worsening pains and numbness of the lower legs. Dr. Smiley thinks I need to find another place to live. Maybe Smiley is right. But I've lived in like 5 places in the last three months ... Beyond the stress, beyond the expense, the pure logistics of moving around without stuff like clothes, medical records, etc is a nightmare. Smiley also recommended a hormone urine test but I opted for a less expensive blood test results of which I will get soon. Also, continue to look for a doctor to prescribe an IV treatment. I had a appt about this today and learned that here, my state, I need to first take a blood test to rule out rare genetic disorder which causes exploding kidney (or whatever) when IV vitamin C administered. "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Nadia Posted November 28, 2012 Share Posted November 28, 2012 Alex... what was your assessment of those sites? You don't think it might help? '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 29, 2012 Author Share Posted November 29, 2012 I appreciate the suggestion and I've even downloaded some of the Gupta material and watched it. It's something worth incorporating. I don't think it's hocus pocus or anything. And detoxification is a problem for me. But I am doing badly from a GI perspective and I'm largely working on antimicrobials. It's been a while since I was over there though. Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Nadia Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 Thanks, Alex... the reason I asked is because I'm considering starting a 6 month "training" with the Gupta material, or maybe cobbling something together from the posts on the discussion board. I think it might help accelerate my healing, but it's hard to know without having a complete grasp on what the techniques are. I have mixed impressions about NLP and EFT. I have seen some videos online of people doing tapping and it seems like they have replaced whatever problems they have with manic OCD behaviors. But Rhi has said a lot of people don't get it. She pointed to posts by a certain person on the discussion boards that "get it". Aside from the specific methods, I am becoming more and more convinced that brain-training type of therapies can have a positive effect on us for issues such as hypersensitivity. This is not to say that our issues are psychosomatic, but that our brains are really powerful and can affect the physical. There are studies on meditation that show this, for example. I think I just need to develop a regular practice, and I'm still evaluating what the best options are. Anyway, just wanted your opinion since you've got a good eye. I figure we have to bring out the whole arsenal if we can! Good luck with the antimicrobials. My friend has had a real journey with finding what works for her as well. She is also hypersensitive, and her doctor also is frustrated with her and tells her to stick to things that she knows are hurting her. But she has picked and chosen and luckily the Monolaurin has really helped her. '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment
alexjuice Posted November 29, 2012 Author Share Posted November 29, 2012 UPDATE: I got my testosterone tests back and result showed low-normal. Total testosterone back to 400. If I can get back to eating/absorbing food, I may get even better. Am hopeful to start on IV treatment soon. Been doing acupuncture and bought $20 worth of chinese herbs. Circulation and digestion are still poor. I called my therapist, Dr. Caring to see if she has an opening. Haven't seen a therapist or psychiatrist since... Aug? Sept? Miss it and dont. My mindset at the moment reflects my limited existence. I'd like to get better or get worse fairly soon. I don't think I have much more tolerance for the status quo. It's sometimes even better when its worse. Right now, my life is unsustainably unpleasant. Luckily, change is certain. Hope everyone is feeling okay today. Alex "Well my ship's been split to splinters and it's sinking fast I'm drowning in the poison, got no future, got no past But my heart is not weary, it's light and it's free I've got nothing but affection for all those who sailed with me. Everybody's moving, if they ain't already there Everybody's got to move somewhere Stick with me baby, stick with me anyhow Things should start to get interesting right about now." - Zimmerman Link to comment
Nadia Posted November 29, 2012 Share Posted November 29, 2012 I totally relate to the horror of the middle ground... it's like when you are coming out of the flu and you still feel crappy, but not crappy enough to be able to sleep or just give up. Luckily like you say that changes too. '94-'08 On/off ADs. Mostly Zoloft & Wellbutrin, but also Prozac, Celexa, Effexor, etc.6/08 quit Z & W after tapering, awful anxiety 3 mos. later, reinstated.11/10 CTed. Severe anxiety 3 mos. later & @ 8 mos. much worse (set off by metronidazole). Anxiety, depression, anhedonia, DP, DR, dizziness, severe insomnia, high serum AM cortisol, flu-like feelings, muscle discomfort.9/11-9/12 Waves and windows of recovery.10/12 Awful relapse, DP/DR. Hydrocortisone?11/12 Improved fairly quickly even though relapse was one of worst waves ever. 1/13 Best I've ever felt. 3/13 A bit of a relapse... then faster and shorter waves and windows. 4/14 Have to watch out for triggers, but feel completely normal about 80% of the time. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Skyler Posted November 29, 2012 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted November 29, 2012 Or well enough to think about what you want to do (know what you are missing), but too lousy to get a move on. As always, LISTEN TO YOUR BODY! A proud supporter of the 10% (or slower) rule. Requip - 3/16 ZERO Total time on 25 years. Lyrica: 8/15 ZERO Total time on 7 or 8 yrs.BENZO FREE 10/13 (started tapering 7/10) Total time on 25 years. Read my intro thread here, and check the about me section. "No matter how cynical you get, it's almost impossible to keep up." Lily Tomlin Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now