☼ alexjuice: About

[areyouthere]

 

While my sister and I get along, it is stressful the idea of her return. This is about my mom, but I also want to take care of myself.

I doubt that many of us here don't have a complete understanding of this type of situation and your feelings about it. Also , at least for me , it's taken many, many years before I realized that I was putting other people first .... sometimes at their unhealthy passive - aggressive "request". I'm not insinuating that in the case of your Mom and her serious operation this is the case; it obviously is a part of life that happens, but because some of us have for so long neglected ourselves emotionally we don't have much practice or good tools to do both- take care of ourselves while at the same time looking after others.

 

It is a delicate balance. I both admire and am jealous of those who innately are able to do both. But acceptance that I am who I am therefore I am ok is also a relief of sorts. It doesn't make it MUCH easier but I think it closes some old doors and opens up new ones to healthier living.

 

Thinking of you Alex. And please DO do those things that allow you to "take care of yourself" and if I may ask.... what are some examples of what means taking care of yourself? For me a walk or taking a break in my own house alone when others are somthering me helps. You?

[Altostrata]

Hugs, Alex.

[alexjuice]

Thanks. Couldn't have come at a better time, needed it.

 

Alex

[alexjuice]

It's hard not to blame myself. And I keep thinking that other people will blame me. I wish I didn't care what other people thought.

 

It's hard.

[Karma]

Alex

 

Why would anyone blame you? (Or should I say who is blaming you?)

 

Yes, if we knew then what we know now we would have made different decisions. We all make choices. In most cases we make the best choices we can with the information we have at the time. Sometimes we make poor choices with the information we have, but that doesn't mean that we deserve to suffer.

 

When you are concerned about what other people think, take a minute to think about whether you really respect the other people ... if not, then it doesn't matter what they think.

 

Karma

[alexjuice]

Nobody in my life understands my complex. Some take the position that if I'm sick from meds, well, that is only a result of my decision to take the medication in the first place.

 

Several I know like this, always in the "gray area". If I attritube a problem to X (say, taking Effexor) they instinctively fight my reductionist explanation by looking for "my part". Since they have no frame of reference for pyschotrauma, they default to some neutral conflict resolution posture, as if Effexor is my ex-wife.

 

Some folks just need to have "two sides" or there brain melts down. Though, curiously, the need for "two sides" presents only when bad "side" is something another doesn't understand and is not happening to them. When the bad side is happening to them and easily understood -- say, they got smashed by a drunk driver -- there is one side at fault. Humans :-(

 

Anyway, yea, I know people with this posture: Who chose to take the Effexor? Did the Effexor pills hold you down and dump themselves in your mouth?

 

You make a good point about respecting the people. I don't respect them. But, right now, most of the people I do respect are busy living their lives and, frankly, I'm not involved in their world. My world is limited.

 

Anyway, that stuff is a thing but my main problem isn't with others but myself. Why I paid all that money for people to tell me how subhuman I was...

 

And WHY I CARE what other people believe about me. I admit I do. If it's a person I don't respect or don't believe has the insight to understand the particulars of my case, I restrict our relationship -- but what they think still bothers me. I feel universally not understood. If I found one person in real life (who wasn't on the payroll) who understood the truth as I see it and towards whom I harbored a significant personal respect, I'd imagine the opinions of idiot-others wouldn't bother me so.

 

Alex

[alexjuice]

UDATE:

 

Found extensive mold in my bathroom. The toilet, tub, tile, etc all removed. I have been living a few days in the little hotel down the road during the remediation process. I am unlikely to go back to my mom's house, so alternatives under review.

 

I got suddenly sicker in Feb/Mar after taking frequent "detox baths" according to the GAPS protocol in that bathroom, unaware of the mold behind, above and beneath me. In May my stool was positive for significant fungal infection, species not identified, most likely caused by ingested mold. I've been treating the fungus for weeks but I'm not sure I'm winning the war.

 

This week featured food allergies, inflammation, confusion, vein pain in hands, skin thinning in extremities. I've been seeing a doctor who believes I am under autoimmune attack and we're waiting for antibody results from extensive profile. We'll see...

 

Intestinal integrity doubtful. Oral treatments for autoimmune conditions become problematic if they escape into the blood via 'leaky gut'. Waitandsee approach.

 

I've lost testicular mass and I don't think it's coming back. Gone. I accept it. Currently there are a few explanations for this. Whatever, its better for me to just accept the loss and move forward. However, the problem is unresolved and could continue to worsen. Whatever, for now things are different and that's just that. Reversing the loss has given way to attempts to arrest the problem. I hope those work.

 

Sacrifice the rook, keep the king rolling.

 

Eventually, time runs out. But the clock's ok for now.

[Barbarannamated]

Alex,

 

First things first

{{{HUGS}}}

 

Mold - that could explain your significant downturn since February, no? And possibly a contributing factor prior to that time, it seems. Is your whole house being checked?

 

About other people... I've begun to recognize a peculiar reaction when I mention psych drugs. I used to think it was people not believing me. Or thinking I was irrational because these are *safe drugs*, FDA approved and all. Or finally gone completely offmyrocker and blaming medicine. It fits, afterall, since ive been a "psych case" for nearly 20 years. Funny thing, people used to come to me for info when their docs suggested or prescribed psychotropics. My opinion was respected as long as I was in at least modest agreement with their doc's treatment plan. Not so much when I attempt to warn of the dangers of these FDA approved drugs.

 

The reaction I mention has really thrown me several times. It's a non-reaction of sorts that leaves me scrambling to fill in the blanks. In my frame of mind, those blanks are filled with judgment and doubt of me. I had an AHA moment not long ago. I realized that this odd response comes from people who are taking same or similar drugs or have family being treated with SS/NRIs or neuroleptics. They are "believers". It's not unlike trying to talk someone out of their belief in God or religion. I dont know for a fact that this is the case with your people, but I hope you will considere that possibility before thinking they are judging or blaming you. People involved either directly or indirectly with these drugs are *spellbound* to borrow Breggin's term. They are committed to a paradigm, not only a drug or one medical treatment. To accept what you or I say is to admit that the entire system that they believe in to protect them is broken and not only allowing, but CAUSING, harm.

 

After learning of my experiences, I've noticed that they shut down. They dont immediately ask question or even acknowledge and it leaves a very uncomfortable silence in the relationship. I have an old friend who is a therapist in an addiction program. I hadn't been in touch with her for 20 years, then commented on a Facebook post.... told her of my situation in private message.. then a few months later, she admitted to me that what I said caused her to think and she "decided to stop the Prozac she'd been on". She said she"tapered off" and was doing fine, but we know how that goes. She's been very quiet recently and I'm pondering how to broach the topic.

 

I apologize for taking your thread far off topic, but your words and feelings resonated so strongly with me that I felt compelled to share and encourage you to consider the possibility that this may be going on in your life, too. Are you perhaps reading people's silence as "blame"? And then blaming yourself..

 

Regarding the low testosterone... is there a reason that your endocrinologist is not using replacement therapy? It makes sense to replace what it missing. Ive benefitted from estrogen replacement in reduced pain, improved mood and it helps slow cognitive decline. I am not familiar with testosterone therapy, but suspect it has significant functions in the body as the gonadal hormone. Of course, the endocrine system must be treated as a whole, keeping everything in balance.

 

You are a strong man going through one helluva challenge, Alex. I hate what you've been put through under the guise of "medicine".

 

We are all here for you. Please remember that.

 

Love, Barb

[Skyler]

UDATE:

 

Found extensive mold in my bathroom. The toilet, tub, tile, etc all removed. I have been living a few days in the little hotel down the road during the remediation process. I am unlikely to go back to my mom's house, so alternatives under review.

 

I got suddenly sicker in Feb/Mar after taking frequent "detox baths" according to the GAPS protocol in that bathroom, unaware of the mold behind, above and beneath me. In May my stool was positive for significant fungal infection, species not identified, most likely caused by ingested mold. I've been treating the fungus for weeks but I'm not sure I'm winning the war.

 

This week featured food allergies, inflammation, confusion, vein pain in hands, skin thinning in extremities. I've been seeing a doctor who believes I am under autoimmune attack and we're waiting for antibody results from extensive profile. We'll see...

 

 

Wow Alex, sounds like you found the culprit. Mold can do everything you have been experiencing. The saying, "If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck.." I've read how dreadfully mold can effect people and in context, your situation rings a loud bell. When do you think you can move back into your own place? How long it will take to treat the mold you are effected with. Do you have any idea as to when you could get back into your own place.

[Karma]

Alex,

 

OMG! The mold is probably the root cause. Mercola's site has some guidance for getting rid of mold: http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/11/01/recovery-from-toxic-mold-exposure.aspx - based on this article I'd say that the diet changes you've already made have prevented you from becoming even sicker. Once you stop inhaling the mold then you will have a better chance to eliminate it from your body.

 

I'm a little confused - do you live with your mother or do you have your own place? Whose place has the mold?

 

When I was first diagnosed with yeast overgrowth my system was too weak for prescription antifungals so my nutritionist used a combination of Smart Silver (not colloidal silver) and Core Cats Claw (homeopathy) combined with diet. Eventually my system became stronger and I did use a prescription antifungal for a short time to finish cleaning up my system. Will your current doctor work with alternative therapies? You will need to proceed cautiously however you move forward to minimize upset due to sensitivity.

 

Alex, I think it is entirely possible that the mold is causing the testicular mass loss. If it helps you to just accept the situation then I understand, but I think that it is possible for you to heal once you get this major issue under control. I've read some information that indicates that toxic mold exposure can result in Hashimoto's thyroiditis ... have they tested for thyroid antibodies? If not you should ask for those tests. Hashimoto's is an autoimmune disease - and as this indicates it involves your immune system.

 

I'm very excited. I think that you may have found the root cause. When I was in my mid-40's I was diagnosed with yeast-overgrowth syndrome, celiac disease and Hashimoto's ... I was on 225 mg Effexor at the time ... and I have healed significantly since discovering my root cause. You are much younger and while your situation may be compromised by AD withdrawal, I still think you have a very good chance of regaining your health.

 

Karma

[alexjuice]

Thanks for the hugs. I'm still not doing well physically. Finding the mold is relieving in a way but it's really just sad. The mold is in an upstairs bathroom ("my bathroom") at my mother's house where I've been living since leaving a sober living home in mid 2009.

 

I'm depressed, not literally.

 

In October, I felt soon to turn the corner from my withdrawal difficulties which had been severely disabling in that summer (I couldn't leave the house largely). Then slowly over November, December and January strange new symptoms emerged. In Febuary I fell apart.

 

I have terrible trouble with memory today, my food reactions have worsened, vision worse, involuntary twiches in the muscles and circulation problems leading to all sorts of issues.

 

Damn. I went to 10 doctors this year. The one who found mold misread her labreport and told me it was candida and not a priotiy, certainly not an explanation for any significant symptoms. See recommended treating my parasitic infection first. Finally, after spinning backwards and getting a 2nd opinion, I discovered I she had misread the parasite report and that there was no parasitic infection. Dammit.

 

Finding the mold is also just a fluke. I happened to be home when a worker dude came over to put in some new tile and I asked my mom that we have it checked it out, maybe if there's water behind the tile there's mold.

 

Right now, I am disoriented after a food reaction, and am so frustrated. I'm getting some tests back soon on some autoimmune stuff. Mold issues and gut issues are, of course, intertwined pretty well with autoimmune... It's that none of it, and I know everyone can relate, none of it had to happen. These last 15 yrs, none of it. Man, sad.

 

Here's the video from the mold removal guys of my bathroom, if anyone curious to see the sheetrock behind my tub.

 

 

I am going to see a doctor who evaluates mold exposure next week. Assuming the mold has affected me, it's likely my psych med withdrawal experience worsened the effect and will continue to muddy things with treatment options because of sensitivity. If it hasn't come across clearly, I'm so upset.

 

 

Thanks guys for the help. Hope yall are hanging in.

 

Alex

[Skyler]

What I don't understand is why none of those doctors considered you might have a mold problem. I would think this happens with some frequency in the Texas climate? You must be baffled.. and angry. I sure would be..again WOW.

 

I'm most relieved to think you may be getting to the end of this latest escapade. Now the mold is gone, when should you start to feel better?

[Barbarannamated]

I want to contribute something helpful but just dont know what to say. With each of your posts, I am awed by the incredible strength you have, even though I know you dont feel that right now. 10 doctors in one year... WOW.

 

You're right that this shouldnt have happen, didnt have to. Your anger is more than justified.

 

Love and hugs.

B

[Nikki]

Alex for quite sometime I wake up and cough. I thought it was an allergy, HBP medication, my dogs....

 

I have been removing the carpeting from my upstairs. There was mold on the padding. I washed the cement floors down with bleach.

 

I don't cough anymore. It was the carpets from having them cleaned so much.

 

I still have some more to tear up and then I will tile each room.

 

In Florida, mold is everywhere. I pressure clean my patio and put bleach on it too. This is a tropical climate.

 

The mold may have contributed to alot of your issues. This mold cleanup may aid you significantly.

[Karma]

Love you, Alex - let us know how your doing when you can.

 

Karma

[peggy]

Wow, Alex, i feel mad for you; but also excited - there is no doubt the mould would have contributed to your physical condition...

 

hopefully now you can address it correctly

[alexjuice]

....

About other people... I've begun to recognize a peculiar reaction when I mention psych drugs. I used to think it was people not believing me. Or thinking I was irrational because these are *safe drugs*, FDA approved and all. Or finally gone completely offmyrocker and blaming medicine. It fits, afterall, since ive been a "psych case" for nearly 20 years. Funny thing, people used to come to me for info when their docs suggested or prescribed psychotropics. My opinion was respected as long as I was in at least modest agreement with their doc's treatment plan. Not so much when I attempt to warn of the dangers of these FDA approved drugs.

 

The reaction I mention has really thrown me several times. It's a non-reaction of sorts that leaves me scrambling to fill in the blanks. In my frame of mind, those blanks are filled with judgment and doubt of me. I had an AHA moment not long ago. I realized that this odd response comes from people who are taking same or similar drugs or have family being treated with SS/NRIs or neuroleptics. They are "believers". It's not unlike trying to talk someone out of their belief in God or religion. I dont know for a fact that this is the case with your people, but I hope you will considere that possibility before thinking they are judging or blaming you. People involved either directly or indirectly with these drugs are *spellbound* to borrow Breggin's term. They are committed to a paradigm, not only a drug or one medical treatment. To accept what you or I say is to admit that the entire system that they believe in to protect them is broken and not only allowing, but CAUSING, harm.

 

Thanks for this terrific point Barb. I feel the same. I've even had friends go through withdrawal themselves and not want to hear my 'nonsense'. My friend who, after acute withdrawal passed, developed neuropathic pain (idiopathic to his doctors) and is currently anxious, depressed and struggling with self care. He is not open to the possibility of any position except that his SSRI was safe and he felt better on it. The fact that he feels depressed today, is drinking alcohol again, is waking hours before schedule with anxiety, developed a pain condition typically treated with TCAs... These are independent events unrelated from the cold turkey of his SSRI, which is perfectly safe and actually he felt better on it. Of course he felt better on it, he wasn't withdrawing from it!

 

So there's no point in debating, hopefully his self medication with opiates, alcohol, stimulants etc works out somehow because he is a good fried of mine all the way from school.

 

But largely, I've foubd what you say to be the case. I knew a nurse practioner and she would not only refute my position (in spite of the evidence of my battered person) she would get defensive and angry because the implication was that she is not a "good" person helping little old folks -- she's in a nursing home facility -- but a bad person, hurting people with her toxins.

 

Truth is, she doesn't fully know how her medications work and how the work in various combinations. She doesn't know this because the specifics are, of course, unknown and everyone who can read a wiki entry must acknowledge all the holes that remain in our understanding.

 

That's one of the reasons it's so lonely for me, and all of us. we're sick. We're the aggrieved party. On top of our suffering we also face social rejection when emotional/human support is vitally important to us.

 

Alex

[alexjuice]

What I don't understand is why none of those doctors considered you might have a mold problem. I would think this happens with some frequency in the Texas climate? You must be baffled.. and angry. I sure would be..again WOW.

 

I'm most relieved to think you may be getting to the end of this latest escapade. Now the mold is gone, when should you start to feel better?

 

I don't know. It's not on the radar at all. And it does happen with frquency here, my dad actually lost his last home to mold. The home was condemned and demolished and it took years for his insurance company to help out.

 

I think I must have been affected. I took many baths as part of the GAPS program and my withdrawal issues predisposed me to sensitive response.

 

There is a doctor who treats mold exposure. I'm going to see him next week. I hope I am getting towards the end. It can take a long to recover. I know from salivary and blood tests that my immune functino is disturbed. And just getting away from the mold may not be sufficient especially, like I said, with depressed immune response.

 

Mercola wrote a good piece from the alt med perspective (Karma may have linked this already, memoryoye)

http://articles.mercola.com/sites/articles/archive/2011/11/01/recovery-from-toxic-mold-exposure.aspx

 

I will know more soon. I am generally feeling a bit better but the added stresses of having no home, not having my own raised bed which helps with my iaatrogenic reflux disease, have caused me to backslide on some problem areas also. All and all, no mold beats mold. Soon I will live in a permanent non-mold place.

 

Thanks for your support, as always.

[alexjuice]

Alex for quite sometime I wake up and cough. I thought it was an allergy, HBP medication, my dogs....

 

I have been removing the carpeting from my upstairs. There was mold on the padding. I washed the cement floors down with bleach.

 

I don't cough anymore. It was the carpets from having them cleaned so much.

 

I still have some more to tear up and then I will tile each room.

 

In Florida, mold is everywhere. I pressure clean my patio and put bleach on it too. This is a tropical climate.

 

The mold may have contributed to alot of your issues. This mold cleanup may aid you significantly.

 

My bet is you're right. I've talked to a lot of folks, and talked on here, and I just suddenly got a lot worse and now there seems a likely explanation. Like I've said, my psychiatric ordeal probably made the response worse.

 

After reading of mold exposure, I have to think getting away from the mold will benefit me. There are many varieties and some are truly nasty. No matter what, bathing against a mold-wall is not a good idea.

[alexjuice]

Love you, Alex - let us know how your doing when you can.

 

Karma

 

Love you to, Karma.

 

I'll give an update soon. My mom and I are still in a hotel/extendedstayplace. This is our last night.

 

Thanksthanksthanks for the support.

[alexjuice]

Wow, Alex, i feel mad for you; but also excited - there is no doubt the mould would have contributed to your physical condition...

 

hopefully now you can address it correctly

 

Thanks peggy. It sure seems like there must be a connection. I am hopeful too. I'm also tentative about getting hopes high. Medicine has let me down -- consistently. Can I find someone who can help me with the mold while respecting my psychmedtrauma and current benzo use? Like every sick person, I'd give everything (not much left actually) for wellness.

 

Appreciate your kind support, peggy.

[alexjuice]

There are two parts, applicable to nearly all in life, to the goody outcome. Making good decisions and choosing the proper timing for implementation.

 

Timing is critical, I am learning.

 

My advice: Don't wait too long before pulling your shoot. Don't pull your shoot too soon.

 

(Good luck.)

[alexjuice]

UPDATE:

Met today with environmental physician who believes I have a serious infection, likely of toxic mold. I need to submit a urine sample tomorrow and then can start on Rx antifungal protocol. First is nystatin for candida. Then follows some detox, treatment and alterations to living situation and diet.

 

I have been avoiding gluten and sugar and dairy since May. I also need to eliminate ferments, anything with yeast, sprouts, leftovers, tomato products, eggs, any vitamins grown on yeast, pickled/smoked meat or fish, rice.

 

I got results from some hormone labs I ordered two weeks ago. My LH is out range high. This is not good, especially accompanied with testicular atrophy. Some other things reversed trend in the count but I want to wait to see... My autoimmune guy is calling with results as well this week. More to come...

 

Last week, I visited a doctor with whom I'd made an appt two months ago. He ordered labs and I expected to see him in 6 weeks for follow up. His office called today, they got my labs back and want to see me in a few days. Didn't say why on the phone.

 

I have been advised to sell my car and take nothing from my mothers house. Mom bought me a mattress today. I will buy some basic clothing. And start life anew.

 

I feel sick. Tired. This is no way to live well. (I also fired my CBT therapist because I am realizing there just is not enough time for the nonsense.)

 

Timing has never been my strong suit.

[tezza]

I'm so sorry, Alex...love and hugs!

[areyouthere]

 

My advice: Don't wait too long before pulling your shoot. Don't pull your shoot too soon.

 

(Good luck.)

 

This is a good one too! Made me Hang in there. Hopefully just getting out of the mold will help you feel a bit better.

[Skyler]

I have been advised to sell my car and take nothing from my mothers house. Mom bought me a mattress today. I will buy some basic clothing. And start life anew.

 

I feel sick. Tired. This is no way to live well. (I also fired my CBT therapist because I am realizing there just is not enough time for the nonsense.)

 

Timing has never been my strong suit.

 

HI Alex, it's like you left the most important for last.. you have to start acquiring all creature comforts from scratch. So at a time you very much need TLC, you need to leave everything familiar behind, including even food you know. WOW..

 

Hmm, CBT is nonsense. Hmmm No argument from me, and I'm sure you don't feel well enough in any case. Not at all.

 

I'll be watching for more .. gosh. You have a great deal on your plate, and I'm not talking food.

 

Good courage to you ~S

[Barbarannamated]

In all of the chaos, Alex, this jumped out at me:

 

"Start life anew.."

 

Im assuming they found significant mold to advise ditching everything. That explains so much, previous to February.

 

Maybe this can be cathartic? Out with the old..

 

I feel hopeful for you, Alex.

 

B

[alexjuice]

In all of the chaos, Alex, this jumped out at me:

 

"Start life anew.."

 

Im assuming they found significant mold to advise ditching everything. That explains so much, previous to February.

 

Maybe this can be cathartic? Out with the old..

 

I feel hopeful for you, Alex.

 

B

 

Thanks for putting a positive outlook on it, Barb.

 

I'm feeling not very hopeful. Tired... fatigued.

 

I know you mean the best and maybe it sounds renewing -- new place to live, new clothes -- but in my state, I need a stable home and cant shop much and it's hard to make meals. So things are a mess right now.

[alexjuice]

UPDATE:

 

Waiting for confirmation of mold mycotoxins. Went to the doc today, got called back for bad lab news. Least importantly, my kidney measures flipped trend. Still ok, but not a good sign. Much worse news, but less surprising, a major shift in my hormones. My LH which had been HIGH two weeks ago was borderline LOW today. Testosterone dropped to a depressing 180. Free T is under 4 which got flagged low.

 

(Reference: Doc said my total T should not be under 700. 180 is steroidsgonewrong type of low...)

 

T3 too low as well.

 

I have been prescribed Terbinafine, a strong antifungal with the potential to cause serious liver damage. I may seek a second opinion but the only ones worth getting are hours away. I may not even have mycotosis. I should know definitively by the end of the week.

 

I'm scheduled to start Terbinafine in three days. Hope I don't react poorly.

 

I just can't believe parts of my body are shriveling away, my immune system is collapsed, I can't believe after everything of the last decade+ that I am where I am medically.

 

Alex

[areyouthere]

Alex, I'm so sorry to hear all of this. You have been through so much Have they confirmed any mold in your system or is the medication to be a proactive step? How is the clean up going? Are you back home yet?

[Brandy]

Alex, I feel so bad for all you're going through.

 

I'm confused whether the doc who ran those tests is the environmental doctor, and if not, whether it's the environmental doc who prescribed terbinafine.

 

If there are two doctors involved, can you coordinate the two re test results and also to get another opinion re whether you need to start an antifungal before getting more definitive results about what mycotoxins may be affecting you?

 

Environmental specialists can be very useful but from things I've read, I think some of them can go overboard on their specialty sometimes. I think that is true with every medical specialty.

 

Not saying they can't be very helpful, just to make sure they're not in "when you have a hammer, everything looks like a nail" mode. (I started mentioning that quote to my doctor after we both were leery of some advice I was given by a new mercury-free dentist I went to. I had learned of this dentist from my doctor when I needed to find a new one after my previous incredibly wonderful dentist died. Anyway, I was hesitantly starting to say that hammer quote and my doctor filled in the rest of the sentence before I could finish, with a rueful smile on his face.)

 

You may really benefit from proper treatment for any mold-caused issues. But I think you need someone to coordinate what's going and on and help you sort it all out, including what are the priorities at any given time.

 

It's very upsetting when multiple problems are happening at one time, I know. But often they have a common cause and aren't as overwhelming as they seem. Hard to see that at the time, I know. Do bear in mind that, just as neuroplasticity is real, organs and cells replace themselves and heal also. I'm hoping so much that being away from (and if necessary treating) the mold situation will let your body get back on track soon about healing.

[Barbarannamated]

I'm sorry, Alex. I can hear how emotionally (and physically) exhausted you are.

 

Has your doctor proposed a treatment plan for the endocrine and immune issues? I'm on mobile and can't see your sig, so please disregard my question if answer is there.

 

Also, feel free to let a POW! fly my way. There's nothing more irritating and alienating than someone saying "look at the bright side" in this situation. I'm sorry.

 

EDIT: Cross posted with Brandy.. Her comment about many issues having a common cause is an excellent point. I thought my case was endocrine ("my whole body is shutting down") when Rhi commented that it's more an immune system problem at the root. That was an AHA! moment. It didnt change what's wrong, but allowed me to see the common thread and made it a tad more manageable in my mind.

 

Hugs,

B

[alexjuice]

Alex, I feel so bad for all you're going through.

 

I'm confused whether the doc who ran those tests is the environmental doctor, and if not, whether it's the environmental doc who prescribed terbinafine.

 

Thanks Brandy. I am not currently that good at either typing nor thinking so I'm not surprised of confusion. Basically, there are 3 doctors.

 

1. Dr. Smiley - She's the doctor I was referred to for mold. I don't know that she labels herself environmental work though I did.

 

2. Dr. Thinning - He's the doc I saw today. He's an integrative doctor who I scheduled a long time ago and my appt just happened to come up in late Aug. I went and he ran tests, the tests I talked to above.

 

3. Dr AI - An autoimmune specialist who I saw to intepret some autoimmune related labs.

 

Smiley and AI will get copies of the Thinning labs from today. Smiley runs point on the mold, assuming there's a problem. AI runs on the autoimmune, assuming same.

 

I will get lab tests back from Real Time Labs in Texas which all three endorse as a reliable lab for mycotoxin analysis. If the report confirms toxicity, Smiley's plan is to attack the infection, expel the leftovers and rebuild the immune system. There are a number of Rx and nonRx interventions involved.

 

I will also get back labs on autoimmune stuff from Dr. AI.

 

If there are two doctors involved, can you coordinate the two re test results and also to get another opinion re whether you need to start an antifungal before getting more definitive results about what mycotoxins may be affecting you?

 

Dr. Thinning believes Smiley's plan is sound. Dr. AI is not an expert but will give an opinion. I can also get another opinion of two from other physicians but they don't generally work in this area. Dr. Thinning recommended a doctor, Dr. Richey Something in somewhere far away if I want an expert opinion. I know where to find him, he's a well known mold guy. I will wait for the test results before thinking that far ahead...

 

Environmental specialists can be very useful but from things I've read, I think some of them can go overboard on their specialty sometimes. I think that is true with every medical specialty.

 

....

 

You may really benefit from proper treatment for any mold-caused issues. But I think you need someone to coordinate what's going and on and help you sort it all out, including what are the priorities at any given time.

 

It's very upsetting when multiple problems are happening at one time, I know. But often they have a common cause and aren't as overwhelming as they seem. Hard to see that at the time, I know. Do bear in mind that, just as neuroplasticity is real, organs and cells replace themselves and heal also. I'm hoping so much that being away from (and if necessary treating) the mold situation will let your body get back on track soon about healing.

 

These are good points. My concern is taking a strong antifungal and having a bad reaction to it due to hypersensitivity and damaging my liver. On the flipside, losing my fertility/body parts while taking no action would be very difficult. It's going to depend on the labs. If it's a mycotoxin problem, I'm likely to do something though not hurriedly.

 

This isn't the hardesst thing I've been through, but whatever it is, it is awful. I wake up and grab my body parts and they are smaller week by week. These body parts may return to 'normal' but they may not. Testicular atrophy in most cases is not reversible.

 

I don't want to front run the diagnosis. And, of course, you make a lot of good points. I should know more later on this week.

 

Thanks for your caring response.

 

best,

Alex

[alexjuice]

I'm sorry, Alex. I can hear how emotionally (and physically) exhausted you are.

 

Has your doctor proposed a treatment plan for the endocrine and immune issues? I'm on mobile and can't see your sig, so please disregard my question if answer is there.

 

Also, feel free to let a POW! fly my way. There's nothing more irritating and alienating than someone saying "look at the bright side" in this situation. I'm sorry.

 

EDIT: Cross posted with Brandy.. Her comment about many issues having a common cause is an excellent point. I thought my case was endocrine ("my whole body is shutting down") when Rhi commented that it's more an immune system problem at the root. That was an AHA! moment. It didnt change what's wrong, but allowed me to see the common thread and made it a tad more manageable in my mind.

 

Hugs,

B

 

HUGS back, Barb.

 

Doing stuff, trying to find a place to live, it's sooo damned hard. No need for POW!. Haha. I love you Barb!

 

As to the commonality of cause, no doubt there's something to that.

 

I also don't have baseline, really. I'm in uncharted waters. I am going to wait and see what I find out in the next days

[alexjuice]

Terrible day.

 

Got lab results from Dr. AI. I was reactive left and right. I have more antibodies 'out of range' elevated than any patient he's ever seen, though he's had patients with higher elevation in each particular test. I got flagged for pancreatic/islet, hepatic, testicular/ovarian, and a bunch more. He formally diagnosed me with Hashimoto's which my last integrative physician ruled out and refused to treat.

 

All this autoimmune stuff could be related to mycotoxic exposure. It likely is but may not be. I need my mycotoxicity test results from the lab. Today I got a call from that testing laboratory. Results were expected in today, as a matter of fact. Instead:

 

I learned my sample is invalid/untestable as it just arrived at the lab after being floating lost in the postal netherworld for 8 FRICKIN DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

So I don't know the degree of mold toxicity (if any) because there is no sample to test. How do I know what course to take without those results?

 

I can not believe this is happening.

 

EDIT: All of the autoimmune positives do not equate to formal diagnoses. I don't have diabetes for instance. I am at a much higher risk for developing it though as some autoimmune destruction is underway.

[Barbarannamated]

I just don't know what to say..

 

We're all here for you, Alex. Please post when you feel up to it.

 

Hugs.

B