DaveB: trying to stop a roller coaster year

[DaveB]

Has anyone tried the genesight test? Maybe I am looking for answers in the wrong places, but I just don't know what to do at this point. This has just gone on too long and I am feeling very hopeless!

[brassmonkey]

All it's going to tell you is if you have a genetic predisposition to having problems with certain drugs and that those drugs should be avoided in the future.  It will give very little information about how to get off of those drugs once you're having trouble with them.  Psych drugs can't be stopped and started at will without paying a heavy price.  Right now you need to listen to what everyone has been telling you, "it's going to take a long time to stabilize and then slowly taper off of these drugs".  Learning patience is one of the biggest challenges of getting through ADWD.  Everything takes a tremendous amount of time and then some. 

 

Currently you are two and a half months into trying to stabilize after making a lot of major changes in your medication.  If I were being very optimistic I would guess at least two more months before things start to really settle down, but that is just a guess based on how others I have worked with have progressed.  It could take a lot longer, but it will happen.  In the mean time worrying about when it is going to happen is just going to make you more upset and will in fact slow the process down.

 

I would suggest doing a site search on AAF and try to learn those techniques.

[Downbutnotout]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

Has anyone tried the genesight test? Maybe I am looking for answers in the wrong places, but I just don't know what to do at this point. This has just gone on too long and I am feeling very hopeless!

My gene test showed up green (safe) on buspar and I had a terrible reaction to it. It also showed green on lamoutrigine and my vision was blurred.

[ChessieCat]

On 4/28/2017 at 4:03 AM, brassmonkey said:

 

AAF: Acknowledge, Accept, Float.  It's what you have to do when nothing else works, and can be a very powerful tool in coping with anxiety.  The neuroemotional anxiety many of us feel during WD is directly caused by the drugs and their chemical reactions in the brain.  Making it so there is nothing we can do about them.  They won't respond to other drugs, relaxation techniques and the like.  They do, however, react very well to being ignored.  That's the concept behind AAF.  Acknowledge, get to know the feeling involved, explore them.  Accept, These feelings are a part of you and they aren't going anywhere fast. Float, let the feeling float off as you get on with your life as best as you can.  It's a well documented fact that the more you feed in to anxiety the worse it gets.  What starts as generalized neuroemotinal anxiety can be easily blown into a full fledged panic attack just by thinking about it.

 

I often liken it to an unwanted house guest.  At first you talk to them, have conversations, communicate with them.  After a while you figure out that they aren't leaving and there is nothing you can do to get rid of them.  So you go on about your day, working around them until they get bored and leave.

 

It can take some practice, but AAF really does work.  I hope you give it a try.

 

[Cheeky]

Hey Dave,

hoe you feeling ?

[Kostas]

4 hours ago, ChessieCat said:

 

Very well said! 

[DaveB]

5 hours ago, Cheeky said:

Hey Dave,

hoe you feeling ?

 

This morning is better than yesterday morning, and after my rants last night, I actually had a pretty good night considering how bad the day was.

[Cheeky]

5 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

This morning is better than yesterday morning, and after my rants last night, I actually had a pretty good night considering how bad the day was.

That’s good to hear, your improving and that’s the main point.

well I have nothing positive to say except, I just pray I will get stable again , I feel like I’m doomed. It’s all about a few hours feeling good than the aniexty kicks in and doom, I feel like a wreck.

[Rosetta]

Hugs, @Cheeky.  This is really a crazy illness.  Glad you got some relief, Dave.  I did, too.  Very difficult to handle, but I try to hold on to the knowledge that the symptoms change in the evening.

[Cheeky]

10 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

This morning is better than yesterday morning, and after my rants last night, I actually had a pretty good night considering how bad the day was.

That’s great to hear Dave , your getting there. The thing I hate is it’s so hard when you’ve been good and your just waiting to feel that aniexty again . 

I just thank god I have you guys

[DaveB]

17 hours ago, Cheeky said:

That’s good to hear, your improving and that’s the main point.

well I have nothing positive to say except, I just pray I will get stable again , I feel like I’m doomed. It’s all about a few hours feeling good than the aniexty kicks in and doom, I feel like a wreck.

 

You are not doomed, but boy do I know the feeling. Think of how you just had a week of feeling normal, you will get there again!

 

15 hours ago, Rosetta said:

Hugs, @Cheeky.  This is really a crazy illness.  Glad you got some relief, Dave.  I did, too.  Very difficult to handle, but I try to hold on to the knowledge that the symptoms change in the evening.

 

I do that many days, hold on until evening when I know things will settle a bit. Hoping your relief lasted for a while. 

 

12 hours ago, Cheeky said:

That’s great to hear Dave , your getting there. The thing I hate is it’s so hard when you’ve been good and your just waiting to feel that aniexty again . 

I just thank god I have you guys

 

I feel the same way, don't know what I would do without your support!

 

After a pretty tough morning yesterday, I actually had a pretty great day. A few strong anxiety moments, but overall the day was good like I was coming to the end of this nightmare...then woke up this morning to the anxiety again. Hoping it is like yesterday and will dissipate and I can continue improving from this wave. I decided I am jumping off the Dr. Pepper today. Not sure if that will throw my system off with no caffeine and much less sugar, but it is something that probably needs to be done. Should help with the anxiety once I get through the caffeine headaches and such, and can't hurt the weight gain side effect of Zyprexa that I have been dealing with. 

[Rosetta]

Hi Dave,

 

SA is a bit of a ghost town on the weekends.  I'm sorry you woke up with anxiety again.  

 

I can't be sure, but when I went off coffee it was no much different than normal WD.  I'm now having decaf which has some caffeine.  I think I feel better overall, but that could be an illusion.  I had no headache from reducing coffee and coffee had given me no "up" feeling in a very long time.  So strange what is happening in our bodies!

 

How has reducing by 20 ml been for you?  Any headache?  

[DaveB]

1 hour ago, Rosetta said:

Hi Dave,

 

SA is a bit of a ghost town on the weekends.  I'm sorry you woke up with anxiety again.  

 

I can't be sure, but when I went off coffee it was no much different than normal WD.  I'm now having decaf which has some caffeine.  I think I feel better overall, but that could be an illusion.  I had no headache from reducing coffee and coffee had given me no "up" feeling in a very long time.  So strange what is happening in our bodies!

 

How has reducing by 20 ml been for you?  Any headache?  

 

Reducing has been fine, no headaches yet. I guess I am just scared that this will set me back and make my anxiety worse somehow, not sure why it would or even if it could, but any change is scary to me in this. 

[DaveB]

On 3/22/2018 at 5:22 PM, brassmonkey said:

All it's going to tell you is if you have a genetic predisposition to having problems with certain drugs and that those drugs should be avoided in the future.  It will give very little information about how to get off of those drugs once you're having trouble with them.  Psych drugs can't be stopped and started at will without paying a heavy price.  Right now you need to listen to what everyone has been telling you, "it's going to take a long time to stabilize and then slowly taper off of these drugs".  Learning patience is one of the biggest challenges of getting through ADWD.  Everything takes a tremendous amount of time and then some. 

 

Currently you are two and a half months into trying to stabilize after making a lot of major changes in your medication.  If I were being very optimistic I would guess at least two more months before things start to really settle down, but that is just a guess based on how others I have worked with have progressed.  It could take a lot longer, but it will happen.  In the mean time worrying about when it is going to happen is just going to make you more upset and will in fact slow the process down.

 

I would suggest doing a site search on AAF and try to learn those techniques.

 

I guess I just worry that Paxil and/or Zyprexa simply don't agree with me and I will never get stable on them. Does that make any sense?

[Rosetta]

1 hour ago, DaveB said:

Reducing has been fine, no headaches yet. I guess I am just scared that this will set me back and make my anxiety worse somehow, not sure why it would or even if it could, but any change is scary to me in this. 

 

That's great.  I understand completely about being afraid to change anything, but reducing caffeine has seemed to be good for me.  It could be that I'm simply getting better with time.  As for Paxil and Zyprexa not agreeing with you -- you are getting better -- that's clear.  I do not think they "agree with" anyone, but I do think there no doubt that you are slowly getting better.  

[DaveB]

2 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 

That's great.  I understand completely about being afraid to change anything, but reducing caffeine has seemed to be good for me.  It could be that I'm simply getting better with time.  As for Paxil and Zyprexa not agreeing with you -- you are getting better -- that's clear.  I do not think they "agree with" anyone, but I do think there no doubt that you are slowly getting better.  

 

I hope this is the case, today has been a very bad day! I just don't get it, I had a great day yesterday. Had some anxiety moments but they passed. I woke up to fairly substantial anxiety, went and worked out and felt better for a few hours after. Then anxiety hit from about 1-2 but then it went away. I was off work and went to lunch with my wife, then took my boys night-skiing last night and I felt almost completely normal. Today has just been a full day grind, I simply don't get it!

[Cheeky]

2 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

I hope this is the case, today has been a very bad day! I just don't get it, I had a great day yesterday. Had some anxiety moments but they passed, I was off work and went to lunch with my wife, then took my boys night-skiing last night and I felt almost completely normal. Today has just been a full day grind, I simply don't get it!

Dave  I know what you mean, everything you say I feel like I could have said it myself.  There is a really good gacebook group that I get support from, if you like I can add you . All the support you can

get is a good.thing

[DaveB]

47 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Dave  I know what you mean, everything you say I feel like I could have said it myself.  There is a really good gacebook group that I get support from, if you like I can add you . All the support you can

get is a good.thing

 

Thanks for the offer, but I don't really do facebook. What is the name of the group? Are you doing better today?

[Cheeky]

13 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

Thanks for the offer, but I don't really do facebook. What is the name of the group? Are you doing better today?

This morning  that aniexty apon  waking , now after a couple of hours better, I hope the rest of the day will be okay .

how are you doing ?

[DaveB]

18 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

This morning  that aniexty apon  waking , now after a couple of hours better, I hope the rest of the day will be okay .

how are you doing ?

 

Had the morning anxiety again...but today it hasn't really dissipated. Just kind of kept plugging all day, busy day at work so maybe that was part of it. I felt GREAT yesterday, when I went to bed last night, I didn't think there was any possible way today would be a bad day..but here we are. Anxiety is actually FINALLY starting to dissipate now, at 5PM, so there is that!

[DaveB]

4 hours ago, Rosetta said:

 

That's great.  I understand completely about being afraid to change anything, but reducing caffeine has seemed to be good for me.  It could be that I'm simply getting better with time.  As for Paxil and Zyprexa not agreeing with you -- you are getting better -- that's clear.  I do not think they "agree with" anyone, but I do think there no doubt that you are slowly getting better.  

 

It is encouraging that you from the outside looking in think I am slowly getting better. I think I am to, but a times (like most of today) I doubt it. 

[Cheeky]

2 hours ago, DaveB said:

 

Had the morning anxiety again...but today it hasn't really dissipated. Just kind of kept plugging all day, busy day at work so maybe that was part of it. I felt GREAT yesterday, when I went to bed last night, I didn't think there was any possible way today would be a bad day..but here we are. Anxiety is actually FINALLY starting to dissipate now, at 5PM, so there is that!

Dave it’s like your explaining my days, it’s comforting knowing I’m not the only one but also sad at the same time   That we’re going through this.

[Dalalea]

10 hours ago, DaveB said:

throw my system off with no caffeine

Dave, How was your first day without Dr. Pepper? Did it have any influence on your day?

I thought of you about 2:00 this afternoon when I was sitting on my couch staring at the TV, and wondering why I could hardly move, like I was in a daze that I couldn't snap out of. I wanted to be active but my mind and body just couldn't make it happen. Then, I realized I forgot my morning coffee! (I guess I have a little bit of a dependence on that one cup a day.) I got up and made that cup and within a few minutes, I was able to move myself forward. Such an odd, scary, and helpless feeling!

I hope your day is ending with some peace.

Dalalea

[DaveB]

17 minutes ago, Dalalea said:

Dave, How was your first day without Dr. Pepper? Did it have any influence on your day?

I thought of you about 2:00 this afternoon when I was sitting on my couch staring at the TV, and wondering why I could hardly move, like I was in a daze that I couldn't snap out of. I wanted to be active but my mind and body just couldn't make it happen. Then, I realized I forgot my morning coffee! (I guess I have a little bit of a dependence on that one cup a day.) I got up and made that cup and within a few minutes, I was able to move myself forward. Such an odd, scary, and helpless feeling!

I hope your day is ending with some peace.

Dalalea

To be honest, it was really bad! Just felt the anxiety all day, with little breaks if any at all. It has been a while since that happened. Could be that maybe cutting it out is throwing my system a bit? Maybe just an unrelated wave? Does anyone know has soon you can expect to see positive results from cutting sugar and caffeine? 

[Dalalea]

2 minutes ago, DaveB said:

positive results from cutting sugar and caffeine? 

I'm so sorry you had a bad day. I've had quite a bit of experience with cutting both sugar and caffeine over the years. It always takes 4 days for me to feel better after cutting sugar. I have fatigue and brain fog for those four days. Caffeine withdrawal usually causes me headaches and/or fatigue. Obviously, I'm still getting some caffeine at this time but I limit it to one cup a day and don't really have anything with much caffeine in it the rest of the day.

I haven't tried cutting either during withdrawal. Today showed me that I may experience caffeine WD with greater intensity now than I did before.

It felt different than usual and if I was in a pattern of anxiety, I think it would have made me very anxious just because the feeling was so intense and I felt I didn't have control. Since I'm in more of a depression pattern right now, it hit me with some depression today.

Just an idea.?

I really hope you get another window like you had the other day very soon! You deserve it after so many days like today.

Dalalea

 

[Downbutnotout]

On 3/22/2018 at 7:36 PM, Downbutnotout said:

My gene test showed up green (safe) on buspar and I had a terrible reaction to it. It also showed green on lamoutrigine and my vision was blurred.

I did figure out my  psychiatrist forgot I was  taking ativan 2 weeks before I started the buspar and maybe that’s why I overreacted. Maybe the gene test works just fine. 

[wildchild93]

12 hours ago, DaveB said:

To be honest, it was really bad! Just felt the anxiety all day, with little breaks if any at all. It has been a while since that happened. Could be that maybe cutting it out is throwing my system a bit? Maybe just an unrelated wave? Does anyone know has soon you can expect to see positive results from cutting sugar and caffeine? 

This makes complete sense to me given that sugar acts on the same chemical pathways as drugs and alcohol and actually realeases dopamine in your cns. I don’t eat much sugar, but I remember when i first started (and sometimes still) I would get hard core cravings for alcohol because my brain desperately wanted that dopamine release that it was being starved of in a sense. I hardly ever drank, it was so strange. Sometimes I still eat something sweet before bed because it helps to calm me down and give me a chance to go to sleep. I don’t have any science to back that up whatsoever, but I totally ate a little piece of cake before bed last night and slept 7 hours. 

[brassmonkey]

Caffeine has a very short half life of about 4 hours, so a person will start to feel the effects of stopping fairly soon.  Various studies have shown that the symptoms build over the first several days, plateau and then subside anywhere from a week to two weeks after quitting.  Once the symptoms have ended recovery can begin, primarily  learning to live with a lower energy level.

[DaveB]

2 hours ago, brassmonkey said:

Caffeine has a very short half life of about 4 hours, so a person will start to feel the effects of stopping fairly soon.  Various studies have shown that the symptoms build over the first several days, plateau and then subside anywhere from a week to two weeks after quitting.  Once the symptoms have ended recovery can begin, primarily  learning to live with a lower energy level.

 

Ok good to know, and cutting caffeine is pretty much universally good for withdrawal, correct? Especially if it manifests as anxiety?

[Cheeky]

43 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 

Ok good to know, and cutting caffeine is pretty much universally good for withdrawal, correct? Especially if it manifests as anxiety?

God I just can’t stop the coffee and I have about 4 cappuccino ‘s a day. I have always drank a lot and I don’t think it makes any difference to me. If I don’t have one I get anxious, I think  I’m addicted to it.

[Cheeky]

Hey Dave,

how are you ?

[DaveB]

11 minutes ago, Cheeky said:

Hey Dave,

how are you ?

 Today has been a struggle but it is starting to get better. You?

[Cheeky]

27 minutes ago, DaveB said:

 Today has been a struggle but it is starting to get better. You?

This really sucks, me too. 

[wildchild93]

Good luck this week Dave! Wishing you all of the best

[DaveB]

21 minutes ago, wildchild93 said:

Good luck this week Dave! Wishing you all of the best

 

Thank you, you too! 

 

Positive note: After a terrible morning yesterday, the anxiety lifted and I had a pretty good afternoon and evening. Morning anxiety was not too bad this morning, and I slept soundly til my alarm at 7:40. That has not happened much if at all, I don't usually wake too early, but it is usually about 7 - 7:15 I wake with too much nervous energy to go back to sleep. Not the case today, my wife's alarm actually went off at 7:20 and I woke for a little bit, but pretty much slept right through it going off and her getting up. Hopefully this is a good sign?

[Rosetta]

That sounds like a great sign!!!