Downbutnotout: Started a bridge to get off effexor

[Downbutnotout]

4 minutes ago, Frogie said:

A so so day? I think you must have had a pretty good day! You got out even though you had to force your food down. I never left the house. I don't usually most days. It's 3:30 and haven't even taken a shower. Pretty bad. But I did clean the kitchen! I was productive. I'm staying off so I don't get a headache. It's no fun to have them all the time. I'll be glad to see the eye dr next Monday. Hopefully it's an easy fix and I just need different glasses. Wouldn't that be nice.

 

Try eating smaller meals more often, like your therapist said. Eat protein, even if it's some cheese or peanut butter.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Cleaning the.kitchen is huge. 

[Frogie]

2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

Cleaning the.kitchen is huge. 

Yes it is especially when my fiancé decides to use the stove to cook bacon and eggs lol...

 

I didn't mop the floor, but everything else got done.

 

My fiancé invited our neighbors over to watch the football game Sunday, so now I will need to dust and vacuum and mop the floor.

 

Glad you are doing well.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Kristine]

Hey D,  Just dropping in to see how you are travelling? Did you end up giving the essential oils a go? Find any that you like? Hugs to you from me. K 🌻

[Downbutnotout]

You know,  I was taken on and off so many drugs in the last 6 months, I’m lucky I’m not worse than I am.  it was really ridiculous. I was taken off effexor 75 mg in 2 weeks using the prozac bridge amongst one of my disaster.  yesterday, i was feeling hopeful , and that’s when I asked about essential oils. Today, was not so great. But there’s always tomorrow. Thanks for asking! 

[Kristine]

Hey D,   It's like a roller coaster.  I'm glad yesterday was a little better for you...not so good about today.  Yes, tomorrow is a brand new day 🙂 K xo

[Downbutnotout]

24 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Hey D,   It's like a roller coaster.  I'm glad yesterday was a little better for you...not so good about today.  Yes, tomorrow is a brand new day 🙂 K xo

Thanks. Sometimes, I feel very alone on this site. Mainly because my problems are a bit different from other people.  I do appreciate your concern. And I greatly admire you and other people fighting the good fight on this site. 

[Kristine]

10 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

Thanks. Sometimes, I feel very alone on this site. Mainly because my problems are a bit different from other people. I do appreciate your concern. 

I'm sorry you feel alone...I think we have talked about this before.  I think everyone's problems/symptoms/life issues/coping mechanisms are very diverse on this site.  We are human after all! K 🌻

[Downbutnotout]

Agree. 

[Downbutnotout]

3 minutes ago, Kristine said:

I'm sorry you feel alone...I think we have talked about this before.  I think everyone's problems/symptoms/life issues/coping mechanisms are very diverse on this site.  We are human after all! K 🌻

Good name for a song. There is one. 

[Frogie]

How are you doing?

[AliG]

Hi D. How are you feeling? Symptoms?

[Downbutnotout]

12 hours ago, AliG said:

Hi D. How are you feeling? Symptoms?

Thank you for asking.  My anxiety and mania are better. Also, my sleep. So I’m guessing those are wd symptoms.  I still have to force eating. The depression is pretty relentless. .  I did try to function one day like I did in the old days, and managed to get through it.  I forced it. Did a Zumba class with a friend, ate lunch with her,  spent time with my 95 year old aunt, went out to a religious service at night. Managed to function. It was a big effort, but I did it. Next 2 days depression has been bad. I did join other websites specifically for depression.  My concern is the depression is not a wd symptom. There is no window and waves pattern with it.   I have looked at the non medication ways to get through it. I’ve done some of the meditations, and the breathing techniques. I also have the no emotion thing going. I plan on trying to swim and force some exercise. And I am using the resources here.  I also see you have beaten it using other techniques. Good for you! 

[Downbutnotout]

24 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

I do apologize 10 times over . I do not want to aggravate or cause people extra work . Please forgive me.the only thing I know is to go on my wall and hit reply to the last post.  Ali posted on my wall and I replied to her. Was that the post you were referring to ? I will try to be very careful. 

 

[Downbutnotout]

 Am I doing the right thing? I’m having trouble not obsessing aboutit. I feel constant dread and a level of anxiety every day. Other seem to have a windows and wave pattern. In the beginning I thought I did, but as time goes on this is not happening. I am able to sleep but waking up is not good. I also feel a constant feeling in my head. It’s like an awareness that there’s something missing. I am considering getting medical help. I hope nobody objects to me asking for advice. Maybe there’s someone on here who has felt like me. 

[powerback]

2 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

 Am I doing the right thing? I’m having trouble not obsessing aboutit. I feel constant dread and a level of anxiety every day. Other seem to have a windows and wave pattern. In the beginning I thought I did, but as time goes on this is not happening. I am able to sleep but waking up is not good. I also feel a constant feeling in my head. It’s like an awareness that there’s something missing. I am considering getting medical help. I hope nobody objects to me asking for advice. Maybe there’s someone on here who has felt like me. 

Hi D,you seem to me to be in a bad neuro fear emotion ,nobody would object to you asking for  advice ,please breathe and calm your mind.

I had these bad mornings for a long time and there back lately after a break ,you will need to read the coping strategies and practice ,breathing and believing  they will pass ,I like to massage my temples when I wake ,some days I could be hours before I feel right and ready for the day .

 

I really doubt very much anything is missing ,your panicked  mind is thinking this up[ obviously your mind and not you per say ].

When our anxiety is very high it winds us up like a spring .

I caught myself thinking today  "oh what if I have something in my brain " ,my anxiety was taking the fact I had headaches for days and just running wild .

 

Of course if you think you need medical help that's totally your decision ,no one can tell you not too .

Be safe and take care .

[Downbutnotout]

I really want to stay strong and not seek medical help. I just want this to end. I haven’t been myself for so long I’m losing my memory of what I was like. This is very frightening. I am so mad at myself for being such a wimp. Thanks for your comment and support. I know you’ve had problems too. 

[powerback]

4 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

I really want to stay strong and not seek medical help. I just want this to end. I haven’t been myself for so long I’m losing my memory of what I was like. This is very frightening. I am so mad at myself for being such a wimp. Thanks for your comment and support. I know you’ve had problems too. 

You cant be calling yourself a wimp,this process is exhausting ,cut yourself some slack .I'm far from qualified to say don't get medical help ,that would be wrong for me to even consider telling you that.but way up the pros and cons .of course we want quick fixes ,but medical help doesn't guarantee instant relief ,ive been at that place were I would dream of being sedated  .

No one would judge you on a decision that you made but make it an informed one and don't give DRs total power over your health and well being .

If we aren't practicing the coping tools we are not giving ourselves a chance to get away from the medical community's hold over us . 

 

No way do I mean to say toughen it out ,that's wrong but if we know we gave it a good go then we can live with what ever medical decision we make .

[Littlegrandma]

Hi D

i think a lot of us feel like wimps. It’s hard not to when you feel so lousy and it doesn’t seem like the pain (emotional and/or physical) is ever going to end. Sometimes it’s hard to control the tears. But I think a lot of that is just emotions that have been stifled for so long coming out. But some of it is just plain fear and sadness for the loss of our lives as we once knew them. 

 

Ive had very few moments of windows in the last 8 mo, but I feel like I’m healing, making a little progress. You’ve got to believe your brain will heal. Otherwise, without hope, this would be for naught. 

 

I think youre doing so much better.... playing mahjong, lunching, going to church. Some of us have so many physical symptoms, it’s difficult to leave the house. Hang in there, D. This too shall pass.     xx Lg

[Downbutnotout]

Oh, you haven’t had them either.  If you’re crying, that’s a good thing. I hope it passes soon. I haven’t had any good emotions come out.  I have to keep telling myself a doctor is not going to help me. Just make me sicker. I was doing things like biting my own hand, and running up and down the stairs. This was after agreeing to take buspar. And the psychiatrist telling me to keep taking it after telling her this. So, would it be smart to continue down this path?  What else do they have to offer? Nothing. 

[Littlegrandma]

I wish you’d give it more time. It may be that adding more drugs is going to make the situation way worse. You haven’t had good luck with that in the near past.  Time and a positive attitude, which coming from me is ridiculous. I’m tough but my attitude needs adjusting. I feel like a mole in the whack-a-mole game.  Keep getting beat down. I pop up for a quick look out that window, and bam. Knocked back down. But when I pop up, the view and air is nice!!

xx Lg

[kesh]

1 hour ago, Downbutnotout said:

I really want to stay strong and not seek medical help. I just want this to end. I haven’t been myself for so long I’m losing my memory of what I was like. This is very frightening. I am so mad at myself for being such a wimp. Thanks for your comment and support. I know you’ve had problems too. 

I'm feeling the same. Not the wimp bit. But I'm frightened so much today that I keep thinking another type of pill will help. I have no idea how my old self disappeared and I got in this horrible nightmare. The trajectory at the moment seems just downhill, l used to get enough windows to keep me hopeful. I'm jealous of friends that have been fixed by pills. I wish I trusted the idea that with time the brain heals itself. That waves are part of the healing process.

 

I hope we both recover and this becomes just a bad memory. 

[Downbutnotout]

2 hours ago, kesh said:

I'm feeling the same. Not the wimp bit. But I'm frightened so much today that I keep thinking another type of pill will help. I have no idea how my old self disappeared and I got in this horrible nightmare. The trajectory at the moment seems just downhill, l used to get enough windows to keep me hopeful. I'm jealous of friends that have been fixed by pills. I wish I trusted the idea that with time the brain heals itself. That waves are part of the healing process.

 

I hope we both recover and this becomes just a bad memory. 

That would be great. At least I’m not the only one feeling this way. This is funny. I went to a choir practice on the wrong day. So, I went and visited my 95 year old aunt who has dementia. Her mind might be gone, but she’s a lot happier than me. Her dementia and my decline happened about the same time. How long have you been at this? I looked at your drug signature, never mind. I read your posts. You sound very young. I hope you get over this akathasia. I think you have a good chance to recover. 

[kesh]

43 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

That would be great. At least I’m not the only one feeling this way. This is funny. I went to a choir practice on the wrong day. So, I went and visited my 95 year old aunt who has dementia. Her mind might be gone, but she’s a lot happier than me. Her dementia and my decline happened about the same time. How long have you been at this? I looked at your drug signature, never mind. I read your posts. You sound very young. I hope you get over this akathasia. I think you have a good chance to recover. 

I'm not young! I'm 51.

 

I'd like some statistics on recovery, of people who use the SA method. Everyone says "time and tapering will heal your brain". But who knows if that's true. All I know is because of my catastrophic reaction to meds it's probably my only option. 

[Downbutnotout]

7 minutes ago, kesh said:

I'm not young! I'm 51.

 

I'd like some statistics on recovery, of people who use the SA method. Everyone says "time and tapering will heal your brain". But who knows if that's true. All I know is because of my catastrophic reaction to meds it's probably my only option. 

Well, you’re younger than me. I’m freaking old.

[AliG]

On 1/22/2018 at 1:37 PM, Downbutnotout said:

Thank you for asking.  My anxiety and mania are better. Also, my sleep. So I’m guessing those are wd symptoms.  I still have to force eating. The depression is pretty relentless. .  I did try to function one day like I did in the old days, and managed to get through it.  I forced it. Did a Zumba class with a friend, ate lunch with her,  spent time with my 95 year old aunt, went out to a religious service at night. Managed to function. It was a big effort, but I did it. Next 2 days depression has been bad. I did join other websites specifically for depression.  My concern is the depression is not a wd symptom. There is no window and waves pattern with it.   I have looked at the non medication ways to get through it. I’ve done some of the meditations, and the breathing techniques. I also have the no emotion thing going. I plan on trying to swim and force some exercise. And I am using the resources here.  I also see you have beaten it using other techniques. Good for you!

 

Hi D. If your sleep is good : it helps such a lot ~  to get that regeneration each night. It sounds like you are active, to a degree, which is also positive. I think the depression is probably a withdrawal symptom and there is no real reason to assume otherwise. Just a thought ~ have you cut gluten from your diet ~ as this can sometimes exacerbate depression/ anxiety?

 

I would continue to do what you are currently doing but perhaps start to look into more of the non- drug coping techniques and find something that really resonates with you ~ whether it is yoga or mindfulness/ meditation videos etc. I know you've tried some of them but it needs constant practice and persistence. You mentioned Zumba, which is great also. It can be anything that brings you joy and /or peace.

 

Have another look through this topic :

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Ali

[Downbutnotout]

6 hours ago, AliG said:

 

Hi D. If your sleep is good : it helps such a lot ~  to get that regeneration each night. It sounds like you are active, to a degree, which is also positive. I think the depression is probably a withdrawal symptom and there is no real reason to assume otherwise. Just a thought ~ have you cut gluten from your diet ~ as this can sometimes exacerbate depression/ anxiety?

 

I would continue to do what you are currently doing but perhaps start to look into more of the non- drug coping techniques and find something that really resonates with you ~ whether it is yoga or mindfulness/ meditation videos etc. I know you've tried some of them but it needs constant practice and persistence. You mentioned Zumba, which is great also. It can be anything that brings you joy and /or peace.

 

Have another look through this topic :

Non-drug techniques to cope with emotional symptoms

Ali

I’m certain the depression is piggy backing on my original depression. I had a trigger. I’m just going to have to deal with it. 

 

[Downbutnotout]

18 hours ago, Littlegrandma said:

I wish you’d give it more time. It may be that adding more drugs is going to make the situation way worse. You haven’t had good luck with that in the near past.  Time and a positive attitude, which coming from me is ridiculous. I’m tough but my attitude needs adjusting. I feel like a mole in the whack-a-mole game.  Keep getting beat down. I pop up for a quick look out that window, and bam. Knocked back down. But when I pop up, the view and air is nice!!

xx Lg

My logic tells me it would.now would be a good time for a window.

[Littlegrandma]

3 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

My logic tells me it would.now would be a good time for a window.

🤞🏻 Hoping for a window for you D. 

I wouldn’t mind one myself. I’m day7 into my small taper, so not expecting miracles for awhile. 

Very nauseous w/ anxiety right now. Trying to distract. I need to go to Costco,  but that might be too much. 

 

Hope youre having an easier day!!

[Downbutnotout]

Well, I am having my usual day. Not so great. But at least you’re on a program, and I bet you believe in wd unlike some of the medical professionals. 

[Littlegrandma]

There’s no doubt about wd. These flu/hangover like symptoms aren’t anything but. This is not typical anxiety either. And D, I’ve had the blues before, but never this crushing depression. 

Its withdrawal!!!!!

 

i wouldn’t wish it on anybody, except maybe 5 min to Drs I see, so they can understand what I am going through. 

[Downbutnotout]

at Least you know you will eventually feel better.

[Frogie]

9 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

at Least you know you will eventually feel better.

You will too!

 

I have been through h**l and back and still going through it.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[Downbutnotout]

47 minutes ago, Frogie said:

You will too!

 

I have been through h**l and back and still going through it.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

I hope. 

[Downbutnotout]

Glad for the support. 

[Frogie]

33 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

Glad for the support. 

You will make it! Everyone has a bad day. 

[Littlegrandma]

2 hours ago, Downbutnotout said:

at Least you know you will eventually feel better.

And you will too. 

Somedays it’s hard to believe this will get better. Be glad you don’t have all the physical symptoms on top of the depression. I’m not diminishing the depression, it’s horrible. But you need to believe it will go. We need to reverse the process. Hold onto any happy moment and try to stop dwelling on the bad. We can’t go back in time. What’s done is done. Let it go. Think of all the wonderful things in your life. Fight for the sake of your 4 yr old grandson. You’re in withdrawal. The depression will fade. But you have to fight for your mental well-being. The pills have made things worse for you. Give your brain time to stabilize, to heal. You can do this. 

Im rooting for you, D.