Kristine: not alone

[Kristine]

Update:  I have been decreasing the dexamphetamine much more rapidly since the 17th of February (see signature).  I have discussed the my rational for this earlier in my thread (Major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine). My current Dex dose is 3.3mg. If I refer to my notes of previous dexamphetamine decreases (dating back to October 2017), withdrawal symptoms are more pronounced on day 4 to day 7.  The past two days (4th and 5th of March) have been more difficult.  None of this is a surprise to me.  The following symptoms are the most prominent:

• insomnia, wake frequently drenched in sweat gasping for air
• anxiety
• low mood, inner dread 
• mental and physical akathisia 
• Burning skin (my arms feel like they have been dipped in acid)
• Extreme fatigue and muscle weakness
• irritability 
• constant headache and frequent migraine
• worsening cognitive function
• tremor 
• loose stools continue (slight improvement) 

 

Note:

• One very important improvement since decreasing the dexamphetamine since the 17th of February is I have less chest pain and my Blood Pressure is slowly decreasing.  On average it is now 150/80...prior average was 180/90. 
• Also all signs of uncontrollable muscular spasm and jolting are gone (mostly associated with fluoxetine decrease)
• Nausea and acid reflux is gone. Some bouts of queeziness.

 

I will hold now and monitor my symptoms.  Then it is my plan to decrease by either a 5% or 2.5% taper.

[Downbutnotout]

1 hour ago, Kristine said:

Update:  I have been decreasing the dexamphetamine much more rapidly since the 17th of February (see signature).  I have discussed the my rational for this earlier in my thread (Major interaction between Dex and fluoxetine). My current Dex dose is 3.3mg. If I refer to my notes of previous dexamphetamine decreases (dating back to October 2017), withdrawal symptoms are more pronounced on day 4 to day 7.  The past two days (4th and 5th of March) have been more difficult.  None of this is a surprise to me.  The following symptoms are the most prominent:

• insomnia, wake frequently drenched in sweat gasping for air
• anxiety
• low mood, inner dread 
• mental and physical akathisia 
• Burning skin (my arms feel like they have been dipped in acid)
• Extreme fatigue and muscle weakness
• irritability 
• constant headache and frequent migraine
• worsening cognitive function
• tremor 
• loose stools continue (slight improvement) 

 

Note:

• One very important improvement since decreasing the dexamphetamine since the 17th of February is I have less chest pain and my Blood Pressure is slowly decreasing.  On average it is now 150/80...prior average was 180/90. 
• Also all signs of uncontrollable muscular spasm and jolting are gone (mostly associated with fluoxetine decrease)
• Nausea and acid reflux is gone. Some bouts of queeziness.

 

I will hold now and monitor my symptoms.  Then it is my plan to decrease by either a 5% or 2.5% taper.

 Bless your heart. This sounds intolerable. And  your typing? 

[Kristine]

7 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

Bless your heart. This sounds intolerable. And  your typing?

With great difficulty D, love K xo

[Rosetta]

Well, you certainly are inspiring.  I hope to find a time that I feel I can listen to the video of Joann Moncreif.  (I can't allow myself to think about how angry I am.  It's a fuel to depression for me.). You find all these little inspiring quotes for us, and it's so nice.  

 

Good luck with your decreases.  I think you should get a "WD hall pass" because of the fact that some quack, uh "psychiatrist" (ha!) gave you dexamphetamine!!!  And a get out of jail free pass if you kick that guy in the shin with all the might you used to have!!  Oops, la, la, la, la, la . . . What me angry?  I'm not angry.  I'm all about unicorns and rainbows. La, la, la . . .

[Kristine]

Oh Rosetta  you made me laugh! Thank You my friend! 

2 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Good luck with your decreases.  I think you should get a "WD hall pass" because of the fact that some quack, uh "psychiatrist" (ha!) gave you dexamphetamine!!!  And a get out of jail free pass if you kick that guy in the shin with all the might you used to have!!  Oops, la, la, la, la, la . . . What me angry?  I'm not angry.  I'm all about unicorns and rainbows. La, la, la . . .

The shin? Nah....I know a much better place to kick him  

[Kristine]

3 hours ago, Longestroadhome said:

Wow! Thank God for her and others like her.

 

Sometimes I think my family and friends think I am crazy for telling them about the dangers of these drugs. My sister recently was put on Zoloft for depression and thinks it is wonderful. I get ‘the look’ if I try to say anything negative about these drugs. She thinks the fact that she wakes up drenched in sweat throughout the night is menopause.... she is only 40 with a regular cycle. 

 

I hope that in my in my lifetime things change. If not in mine then in my children’s ♥️

Hey LRH,  She has written 3 books which are worth checking out.  Also she was recently interviewed on Mad in America, on the 2nd of March by James Moore (podcast) regarding a ridiculous meta-analysis study "proving" that antidepressants are effective and millions more should be on them.  There was a bizarre media frenzy. Strange considering the media are not usually interested.  Big pharma appears to be involved.  Joanna Moncrieff rips this study apart. Bravo  here it is if your interested. https://www.madinamerica.com/2018/03/dr-joanna-moncrieff-challenging-new-hype-antidepressants/

 

I am so sorry about your sister   I know that "look" all too well.  I feel the change is happening but it Is painfully slow. Big hugs. K xo

[Downbutnotout]

42 minutes ago, Kristine said:

Oh Rosetta  you made me laugh! Thank You my friend! 

The shin? Nah....I know a much better place to kick him  

Why were you taking that? I looked it up? For adhd or narcolepsy? 

[Downbutnotout]

50 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

Well, you certainly are inspiring.  I hope to find a time that I feel I can listen to the video of Joann Moncreif.  (I can't allow myself to think about how angry I am.  It's a fuel to depression for me.). You find all these little inspiring quotes for us, and it's so nice.  

 

Good luck with your decreases.  I think you should get a "WD hall pass" because of the fact that some quack, uh "psychiatrist" (ha!) gave you dexamphetamine!!!  And a get out of jail free pass if you kick that guy in the shin with all the might you used to have!!  Oops, la, la, la, la, la . . . What me angry?  I'm not angry.  I'm all about unicorns and rainbows. La, la, la . . .

Just say no to drugs. 

[Kristine]

42 minutes ago, Downbutnotout said:

Why were you taking that? I looked it up? For adhd or narcolepsy? 

I was prescribed 20mg of dexamphetamine for chronic debilitating fatigue.  It should never be prescribed for this.  The fatigue was due to citalopram WD...undiagnosed by both psychiatrists...the fatigue worsened with the cascade of other drugs he prescribed because he said I had treatment resistant depression.  Of course the high doses of clonazepam, Seroquel and lithium didn't help. Over the years the fatigue is much worse. The dexamphetamine never helped in any way. It just made me sicker.  This psychiatrist is an abomination.  He hasn't seen the last of me 

[Downbutnotout]

4 minutes ago, Kristine said:

I was prescribed 20mg of dexamphetamine for chronic debilitating fatigue.  It should never be prescribed for this.  The fatigue was due to citalopram WD...undiagnosed by both psychiatrists...the fatigue worsened with the cascade of other drugs he prescribed because he said I had treatment resistant depression.  Of course the high doses of clonazepam, Seroquel and lithium didn't help. Over the years the fatigue is much worse. The dexamphetamine never helped in any way. It just made me sicker.  This psychiatrist is an abomination.  He hasn't seen the last of me 

I am so sorry. 

[Kristine]

Made a very stupid medication error with my morning dexamphetamine dose.  My cog fog is bad, so it's not a surprised.  Took 4.4mls instead of 3.4mls...which means I've already taken my entire daily dose.  I fact I'm over by 2mls.  I always take a morning and afternoon dose.  I had been tapering the afternoon dose. And yesterday I tapered the morning dose for the first time. Maybe I'll feel a bit better today with a small unintentional reinstatement!   Okay...so I'll see how I go and make a decision from there.  I would prefer taking the whole dose in the morning anyway because I don't think the afternoon dose helps my sleep.  Sigh 

took a total of 3.5mg instead of 3.3mg (daily total Dex dose) 

[JustCallMeJane]

On 3/4/2018 at 10:22 PM, Rosetta said:

Well, you certainly are inspiring.  I hope to find a time that I feel I can listen to the video of Joann Moncreif.  (I can't allow myself to think about how angry I am.  It's a fuel to depression for me.). You find all these little inspiring quotes for us, and it's so nice.  

 

Good luck with your decreases.  I think you should get a "WD hall pass" because of the fact that some quack, uh "psychiatrist" (ha!) gave you dexamphetamine!!!  And a get out of jail free pass if you kick that guy in the shin with all the might you used to have!!  Oops, la, la, la, la, la . . . What me angry?  I'm not angry.  I'm all about unicorns and rainbows. La, la, la . . .

 

23 hours ago, Kristine said:

Oh Rosetta  you made me laugh! Thank You my friend! 

The shin? Nah....I know a much better place to kick him  

 

Hahaha, when someone peeves me off now, I turn to hubby and say a line from our favourite comedian, John Pinette... "and that's when I killed him, your honour" LOL

[JustCallMeJane]

Hi Kristine, I'm glad you're having some improvements, thanks to your decreases. I just read about your "oops" in dosage today. Hopefully, it won't cause too much of an issue.  HUGS! 

[Kristine]

5 hours ago, JustCallMeJane said:

Hahaha, when someone peeves me off now, I turn to hubby and say a line from our favourite comedian, John Pinette... "and that's when I killed him, your honour" LOL

LOL, I like that  

5 hours ago, JustCallMeJane said:

Hi Kristine, I'm glad you're having some improvements, thanks to your decreases. I just read about your "oops" in dosage today. Hopefully, it won't cause too much of an issue.  HUGS! 

Thank you my friend  so far so good with the "oops"...no worse, no better! 

[Scorpio]

Hello Kristine 

 

‘’just popped onto your thread to say I hope the oops with the medication hasn’t caused you any problems. 

 

My symptoms are the same, still waiting for improvement. 

 

Hugs

[JustCallMeJane]

13 hours ago, Kristine said:

LOL, I like that  

Thank you my friend  so far so good with the "oops"...no worse, no better! 

 

Well that in of itself is a good thing. Status quo isn't always bad... boring, but not bad, lol

 

[Kristine]

1 hour ago, JustCallMeJane said:

Well that in of itself is a good thing. Status quo isn't always bad... boring, but not bad, lol

hey my friend...I've had enough excitement to last me a life time.  I'll take boring anyday!  Unfortunately it doesn't appear to be staying that way today.  No worries, yet another day in feckin paradise  big Hugs  K xo

[Kristine]

Sooo, Not sleeping again (anxiety and akathisia increasing during the evening hours now).  Woke yet again drenched in sweat.  I need to drink loads of water during the day because my urine is extremely concentrated.  Thankfully my BP is much lower...I hope this is due to the Dex drop and not dehydration.  I'm so exhausted.  Took the "correct" dose of Dex today. 

 

Here's a little tune to change the channel and "shake it off"! Love these guys! 

 

 

[Kristine]

3 hours ago, Scorpio said:

Hello Kristine 

 

‘’just popped onto your thread to say I hope the oops with the medication hasn’t caused you any problems. 

 

My symptoms are the same, still waiting for improvement. 

 

Hugs

Thank you for dropping by Scorpio.  I really appreciate your support. I missed your post for some reason! I'm praying you will feel improvements soon. Hugs, K xo

[JustCallMeJane]

2 hours ago, Kristine said:

hey my friend...I've had enough excitement to last me a life time.  I'll take boring anyday!  Unfortunately it doesn't appear to be staying that way today.  No worries, yet another day in feckin paradise  big Hugs  K xo

 

LOL I see a new hit song in the future... "Another day in feckin paradise!" 

[Kristine]

14 minutes ago, JustCallMeJane said:

LOL I see a new hit song in the future... "Another day in feckin paradise!" 

 LOL 

[Kristine]

Hey All,  A little update.  I continue to decrease the dexamphetamine (see sig).  I feel this is the right decision for me.  Not surprisingly the wd is horrible but I'm managing.  The sweating is extreme and every morning I wake in a pool of sweat.  It is mainly my torso, neck and back of my neck.  My hair is saturated.  For the past two days I have introduced "hydrolyte"...just an over the counter soluble tablet formulation to replace electrolytes....and plenty of water.  And more water! My cognitive function has become worse (didn't think that was possible! Ha), irritability is pronounced but if I keep my environment as quiet and calm as possible I am managing to placate the beast.  If it takes hold it's like someone pulling their fingernails down a chalkboard...but internally.  If I don't shut myself off from stimuli that extreme irritability can switch quickly to an internal feeling of rage.  I'm not acting on these feelings.  Mindfulness is very useful at the moment.  The internal vibration, akathisia symptoms, tremor and consuming anxiety has lessened since yesterday but I'm not holding my breath.  Yesterday my mood was very low...I found myself staring into space frequently with tears streaming down my face but I was also suffering DP.  Yesterday I didn't feel anything.  A hollow vast void.  That dead feeling.  However, currently my symptom pattern is extremely labile.  Hour by hour it changes. Minute by minute sometimes.  Emotional and physical....good news is the following symptoms in bold are gone!....nausea and acid reflux also remains at bay. 

On 01/02/2018 at 9:17 AM, Kristine said:

 

I know that many of the symptoms of w/d overlap with serotonin toxicy.  Not to mention various other conditions.  However, my coordination/muscle spasms/muscle rigidity/gait/hypereflexia have progressively been worsening and are now much longer in duration..I don't think I explained it well on my thread.  I'll try my best.....

• best time is when I first wake in the morning.  As the day progresses my movements get worse
• muscles will seize up...for example. My neck muscles seize/spasm and then my head will jolt backwards. My hands will shake and lock in a 90 degree angle to my wrist. It is all painful.
• My shoulders jolt up and down.  Same with my arms. Jerking motions. Horrible.
• I walk with jolting movements.  If I get a fright/shock...eg loud noise....every muscle in my body goes in to spasm.  I have to use all my mental energy to will my muscles to walk to bed.  Then it's the usual tremors, shaking and muscle convulsions.  My head will violent jolt backwards...over and over again.  This usually leads to muscle rigidity. It is like my whole body is frozen....the pain in my muscles is extreme. 
• I am often in pools of sweat. Sweat literally drips off my hands and feet.
• coordinating and dexterity is also bad....if I am drinking from a glass the tremor is so bad I will often spill the drink (this isn't gone but has improved by at least 80%) 

 

 

Much Love. K 🌻

[Rosetta]

I wish I could give you a big hug, Kristine.

[Kristine]

5 minutes ago, Longestroadhome said:

You are a warrior K ❤️ Fighting through with true guts. 

 

I hope your your day is tolerable with burst of enthusiasm and some joy sprinkled on top. 💫⭐️🌈

Thank you my friend  I just sat in the sun for 5 minutes. A little sprinkling of joy. Much Love K xo

[Downbutnotout]

Talk about a good attitude. You must have a lot of will. 

[Kristine]

16 minutes ago, Rosetta said:

I wish I could give you a big hug, Kristine.

Thank you my friend  if only I could give you a hug as well. Much Love K xo

[Kristine]

1 minute ago, Downbutnotout said:

 

Talk about a good attitude. You must have a lot of will. 

 

Thank you D  much Love K xo

[JustCallMeJane]

DAYUM! My goodness, Kristine, your resolve is titanium. I'm so glad the muscles are returning to normal and can only wish away the agitation and rage for you. I know that it is impossible to hide yourself away from the world 100% of the time, but hope you're able to do so during this volatile time. My thoughts, prayers and hugs continue for you daily. You're a strong woman, this journey is proving that without a doubt! HUGS my friend. 

[Kristine]

3 minutes ago, JustCallMeJane said:

DAYUM! My goodness, Kristine, your resolve is titanium. I'm so glad the muscles are returning to normal and can only wish away the agitation and rage for you. I know that it is impossible to hide yourself away from the world 100% of the time, but hope you're able to do so during this volatile time. My thoughts, prayers and hugs continue for you daily. You're a strong woman, this journey is proving that without a doubt! HUGS my friend. 

Thank you my friend  your support is so comforting and meaningful to me. Much Love and HUGS. K xo

[Kristine]

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~

Ralph Waldo Emerson

[wantrelief]

Hello my strong friend.  I love the quote, thank you for sharing it!  I am sorry you are having some horrible symptoms but on a positive note, that is great news that some of your symptoms are gone.....that is wonderful!!

[Kristine]

14 minutes ago, wantrelief said:

Hello my strong friend.  I love the quote, thank you for sharing it!  I am sorry you are having some horrible symptoms but on a positive note, that is great news that some of your symptoms are gone.....that is wonderful!!

Oh, Thank you my Friend  I feel it's strength in numbers! I'm not sure how I'd be at the moment if I hadn't found SA. Even though my symptoms are horrible, I feel more "in balance" if that makes sense. Also I feel I have shed that ridiculous "treatment resistant depression" label/diagnosis. Thinking of you my friend. Much Love and hugs K 

[wantrelief]

Sounds like much healing is happening, Kristine!  

[RubyJ]

I'm amazed at your strength <3  You've come a really long way judging by your signature.

 

Thank you for the comment you left on my post the other day, too.  I'm sorry that coming off the Dexedrine is so hard for you!  It's funny how each of us as individuals reacts differently to these different drugs.  I feel that doctors don't always take that into consideration enough, and then they tend to blame patients for reacting in a way they don't expect!

 

Out of curiosity, do you ever have trouble getting the dextroamphetamine?  It's a schedule II drug here in the States and I've had trouble in the past (mostly in one particular state) actually getting my prescription filled.  Is it better in Australia? 

[Kristine]

Hey Ruby, Thank you for dropping by and your kind words...my signature is ridiculous...

4 hours ago, RubyJ said:

Out of curiosity, do you ever have trouble getting the dextroamphetamine?  It's a schedule II drug here in the States and I've had trouble in the past (mostly in one particular state) actually getting my prescription filled.  Is it better in Australia? 

In Australia dexamphetamine is a controlled substance and is a schedule 8 medication.  I believe this is the equivalent to a schedule 2 medication in America (not sure).  To prescribe the medication a psychiatrist is required to write an application for authority to prescribe dexamphetamine.  In my case this should have been rejected because of the exsisting medications which would have a major drug interaction and my "fatigue" is not an indication to prescribe such a drug.  Many powers at play with this particular medication catastrophe. Therefore, once the prescription was processed I never had any problems filling it at a pharmacy.  I wish I had! Love K xo

[manymoretodays]

9 hours ago, RubyJ said:

Out of curiosity, do you ever have trouble getting the dextroamphetamine?  It's a schedule II drug here in the States and I've had trouble in the past (mostly in one particular state) actually getting my prescription filled.  Is it better in Australia? 

 

Hi Ruby,

I never had a problem getting the generic amphetamine salts(for Adderal I believe).  I'm pretty certain that you can't go get scripts filled much before the 30 day timeframe or so......that the script is written for.   No problems with Vyvanse either.  I never stayed on my stimulants however.   You've done 30 years of dextroamphetamine at 30 mg.?!    And are also on the fluoxetine AND Wellbutrin.  Will take a look over on your introduction.

 

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Hi Kristine!  I see the yucko symptoms from the 4th of March and the improvements since the 31st of January.  I'm not getting a feel for if these are day long symptoms or intermittent on some of them..........I think I did see a breakdown on the previous page?  The night sweats sound awful.  The improvements are nice though.

 

Maybe once a week or so post with the standard format for a couple of days:

 

Keep notes on paper about your drug dosages and daily symptom pattern

 

A symptom pattern that occurs regularly over several days could mean the symptoms are from withdrawal, other adverse effects of drugs, or something else you do on a daily schedule.

 

In the course of discussion in your Introductions forum topic, you may be asked to keep notes on paper of your daily symptom pattern, including when you take your drugs, their dosages, and any symptoms.

 

What we need to see for every individual day over several days is:

- Time and dosage for drugs taken in morning
- Time and description of any symptoms in the morning
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in afternoon
- Time and description of any symptoms in the afternoon
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in evening
- Time and description of any symptoms in the evening
 
- Time and dosage for drugs taken in middle of the night
- Time and description of any symptoms in the middle of the night (such as waking)
 
And so forth. A diary, in chronological order, such as:
 
6 a.m. Woke and vomited
8 a.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
10 a.m. Had diarrhea
10:30 a.m. Ate breakfast
11:35 a.m. Got a headache, lasted one hour
12:35 p.m. Ate lunch
4 p.m. Stomachache
5 p.m. Took 2.5mg Lexapro
6 p.m. Ate dinner
9:20 p.m. Headache
10:00 p.m. Took 50mg Seroquel
10:20 p.m. Headache got worse
10:30 p.m. Fell asleep
2:30 a.m. Woke, took 3mg Ambien (NOT "took 1/2 tablet Ambien")
2:45 a.m. Fell asleep
4:30 a.m. Woke with headache

 

An appointments diary is perfect for this and can be bought at stationery stores. 

They have a page for each day with times for appointments which can be filled in with doses, symptoms etc as shown by Alto.

 

Good Lord.......I know you are doing your best with so many symptoms, and just keeping up with what you can in your life now.  All the way down to 3mg. from 10mg.  on your Dexamphetamine!!!!  Yowsers with a bit of hallelujah??!!!

 

I'll probably have the chamomile with lavender tea tonight......and honey of course from the plastic tub.

 

Much Love, peace, healing/inrecovery, and growth,

mmt

 

 

Edited March 10, 2018 by manymoretodays