EdinburghGuy: Dilemma, tapering 10 years fluoxetine, dr wants me on venlafaxine

[EdinburghGuy]

Daily note: 17/7/18

Calm after acupuncture
Crying alot during and after acu puncture - feels like the real me came through, not so Prozac angry

21:30 No bad reaction from Chinese herb so far. 

 erection seemed after acu puncture, don't want pssd again. 

Slight burning in head and feel good usually at this time in the evening.
More crying which feels like a release.

4:00 slept, woke up back feeling a bit better (will see if it lasts) brain feels cool instead of burning.

Morning cortisol 6 and 7am

9am Prozac, sad but calm cold feeling, no bad reaction so far from herb. Hunger gnawing feeling straight after taking pill, will eat something. Had another cry. Just want to be in bed but will go to acu puncture today and tomorrow.
Very difficult to help myself right now, everything is a huge effort.

11am tired fatigued, lying in bed, again craving ice cream and sugar.

Feeling in body lying down haven't had since I was a child. Strange feeling like my body is extremely heavy made of rocks. Like body is really heavy weight - hard to describe

12:50 bit of burning head after meat, but shortly have nicer calmer colder feeling 

2:00 nice cold feeling in head, sad but relaxed. Not totally
Depressed. No anxiety.

17:20
No crying this time during act puncture. Sore left arm, when I am anxious my left hand shakes, maybe blocked there. Slight palpitation during. Generally Calmer today. Taking Chinese herb as need to see for myself. 

18:00 very depressed headache. No panic or anxiety. Sushi,  pizza slice

18:20 bit better after bottle of water

18:50 pleasant cold feeling in head, depression better.

Need to do cbt, cognitive stuff for emotional spirals etc. But so unmotivated and want to escape.

19:40 dinner. few tears. Took second dose of herb (two a day) might book Thurs and Friday act puncture too just to try.

[EdinburghGuy]

36 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

You should take up much of what you post about here with a face-to-face counselor. We do not provide such services.

 

I understand, will just ask questions now and again. Need to spend more time researching and educating myself now anyway.

[Altostrata]

I don't see any exercise. Get out and walk.

[EdinburghGuy]

6 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I don't see any exercise. Get out and walk.

I walked all day to get to acu puncture,before and after, it is in another town. I walk all the time. Will try going back to the gym next week.

[EdinburghGuy]

On 7/17/2018 at 11:45 AM, jonnypeters1234567 said:

How are you today? Do you recommend accupunture?

Updatea: first acupunture felt beifit, not felt much 2nd and 3rd time, got two more, next is monday, No reaction so far from herb.

[EdinburghGuy]

On 7/17/2018 at 11:45 AM, jonnypeters1234567 said:

How are you today? Do you recommend accupunture?

P.s. but felt a pulse in the back of my head with the needle today. Anyway no bad reactions so far.

[jonnypeters1234567]

3 hours ago, EdinburghGuy said:

Updatea: first acupunture felt beifit, not felt much 2nd and 3rd time, got two more, next is monday, No reaction so far from herb.

Sounds promising. Hows your day been?

[EdinburghGuy]

W18/7/18 time, drugs taken, symptoms

Can't remember if woke up at 3am, if I did it wasn't long
6am and 7am cortisol, 7am was worse than 6am. Need bathroom straight after.

8:00 very depressed, suicidal ideation, sore head, go back to be bed. Really feels like chemical depression, not enough stuff in head.

8:40 took Prozac, gnawing hunger straight after, bad depression, sore head. 

Crave sugar, head feels better after some but more anxious

9:20 head better. Chinese herb

10:05 thinking about situation, incredibly angry, rage, suicidal ideation. Can't forgive.

Shower etc. Ready to go out. Spend all day outside.

11:00 same anger, ideation

12:00 slight less anger, lunch hot burrito, making to do list for next week
.
15:00 first act puncture was good. Not feeling much benefit other two times. Got a deal for two more. Next is Monday.

Very depressed, ideation, hopeless feeling, weak tired. Sore feet from walking. 

4:00 train home, writing, depression bit less. Hot feeling in head.

17:30 OK, hot head,  very slight trembling

18:15 OK, distracting with movie, feel good almost normal, hot burning head feeling

19:07 OK, few tears, still hot head feeling

19:48 slight anxiety, palpitations, still strange burning sensation in head.

20:00 OK 

21:00 , dip in mood, doing simple sorting task makes head sore, weak worn out, sore head. Little anxiety. Still hot head feeling. 

21:30 Go to bed, since wd get light headed more easily, sore head from doing simple tasks like filing.

22:00 same, sexual function seems normal, no pssd

23:00 ate before bed, protein, head a bit bettrr

23:41 same weird hit head feeling, tired, will try and sleep

5:50 morning cortisol, bathroom straight after, not as intense as other times

9:40 was difficult to get back to sleep but did eventually, depressed 

[EdinburghGuy]

13 hours ago, jonnypeters1234567 said:

Sounds promising. Hows your day been?

Not so good, depression is my main symptom , new for me. Uploaded yesterday's diary, will distract myself today. I think acu puncture has had some benefit though.

[Songbird]

I think it's quite common to feel depression once anxiety has calmed down.  It must be quite exhausting for the body to keep producing adrenaline and stay in fight-or-flight mode for an extended period.  Maybe try to think of the depression as your system taking a bit of time out.  Despite the depression, I think the anxiety calming down is a good sign. 

 

Here are a couple of topics you might find helpful, including tips about handling depression and neuro-emotions:

Neuro-emotions

How I am coping with depression

 

I'm glad you've felt some benefit from the acupuncture.  Instead of thinking over the situation and getting angry, it might help to write down your thoughts and feelings on paper.  Mindfulness and acceptance techniques could be very helpful for you.  Try to be kind and gentle with yourself.  It's good that you're able to get out and do some walking, and distract yourself with movies and so on. 

 

Please keep posting your daily journal, it's very helpful for us to see what's happening with you.

[EdinburghGuy]

Thanks for comment. Very depressed today, wanted to go to the cinema but was too run down to even do that. Need to be quiet for a few days, wont check here for a bit. There might come a point where I do not take the advice here and do what the doctor wants, or something I want to try. I apprciate the help but I am in no position in life for this battle alone, no support, parents could die any day, eating away my savings etc. Every route I take seems to have suffering -even holding etc. Anyway have an apointment with phyciatrist 27th, need to meditate and think about what I want to do. Even if the choice causes more suffering etc. Helping myself is so hard right now. Anyway going to watch some movies in bed today to escape. Not sure if this makes sense. Thanks with you time and patience with me.

[ChessieCat]

Hi EG,

 

Just wondering how your are?

[Rosetta]

EdinburgGuy,

 

 How are you doing?

[Rosetta]

Hi.  I hope you are feeling better.  -Rosetta 

[PsychologicalSafe15]

@EdinburghGuy Did your vivid dreams vanish ?