Nikki: hi, my rundown with ADs

[Nikki]

thank you...

 

My daughter has an autoimmune disease "interstitial cystitis" and we were concerned this was flare up. She was in remission for a good run recently.

 

Cipro is not working anymore for certain bacteria due to overuse. So Keflex is being used now.

I have catheters which can help dislodge a blood clot or stone but she won't use them. It provides tremendous relief.

 

She is much better today and was given Levaquin. One of my biggest worries is a UTI. I have had my share and when they happen or when I passed a stone I needed Percusette for the pain.

It is an unbearable pain.

 

This kid takes more medicine than you can shake a stick at. Klonopin for anxiety and pain meds for UTI's or the IC....scary. Far too many antibiotics.

 

Mama Miam.........it never ends.

 

Sitting here trying not to have a nervous breakdown trying to figure things out.

 

Want to stick with my business, need more customers.

 

Jobs out there sux.

 

My mother is on the decline and needs me most of the time, but she will be having Home Health Care shortly. Mom and daughter are like a Tag Team.

 

I wish I had more clarity on my own life, where I should be, what I should be doing to serve me well, how to get there, and keep a lid on it all of the time...

 

[strawberry17]

Nikki

I think you're tremendous, you have so much to deal with in your life and you keep soldiering on.

To answer your question, I am on the emotional roller coaster at the moment and getting the dreaded morning anxiety, but it's better to have it first thing in the morning than last thing at night and keeping you awake all night which is what had been happening to me recently, I find like you it's best to get up and at em in the morning rather than lie there stewing in the anxiety.

I think my life has a parallel with yours, I too work two days a week in a job I love, and we also have our own business which I'm involved in the rest of the week.

I hope your daughter is getting better.

strawberry

[Nikki]

Thanks Strawberry....I think you are 'tremendous' as well I really mean that. You live your life and take time to administer this site and your own blog in conjunction with withdrawing from Prozac.

 

Is you anxiety from WD - or - is it from external stressors?

 

Mine is from external stressors. The biggest stressor is my own life and where I am now and where I really want to see myself.

 

I do listen to a guided meditation CD every night and it helps. Need to add some more to mix it up a bit.

 

I signed up for a free 21 Day Meditation course with Depak Chopra and Oprah online. It's about bringing abundance into your life. Tonight I need to catch up.

 

You can sign on at any time....I really like him and Oprah.

 

In the mornings I get a little weepy.

 

Hugs

[strawberry17]

Nikki

 

My gut feeling is that my morning anxieties are withdrawal, why it's hit so bad now I don't know, tis a mystery, mixed in with a bit of my own natural tendancies to anxiety, I've always felt that a bad withdrawal takes your own most negative emotions like anxiety and ramps it up or amplifies it sometimes to a horrific degree.

Apart from SSRI withdrawal, I like my life and don't feel it's a too stressful one on the whole compared to some people's lives, but withdrawing from these drugs means you have to find a balance if that makes sense, I'm very wary of taking on anything that's going to stress me out unnecessarily.

 

I don't think I'm that great an administrator here lately been too preoccupied with getting a handle on myself. But "every little helps" to quote a British advert.

 

strawberry

[strawberry17]

Forgot to say, I'm starting to read "Wherever you go, there you are" by Jon Kabat-Zim as an introduction to mindfulness.

[Nikki]

Let me know how you like it...

[Skyler]

misc characters appeared during editing.. see corrected repost below.

[Skyler]

She is much better today and was given Levaquin. One of my biggest worries is a UTI. I have had my share and when they happen or when I passed a stone I needed Percusette for the pain.

It is an unbearable pain.

 

Three times to the ER was enough. There is a 2 to 3 hour wait time before treatment begins, the stone does not pass any faster there, and I needed a very large dose of narcotics to stop the pain and associated vomiting. So, by the time the ambulance got me to the ER (I can't walk to a car when the pain gets real bad) and treatment was finally started, the stone is passed at home.

 

Now, when the first signs appear, I take Flomax (same as given at the ER) which opens the urethra and ureter and so aids passage. If there is associated vomiting I take a compazine suppository so it's possible to drink enough water to keep the stone moving through the urethras. At home interventions did the trick for the last two episodes and home care did not result in more pain.

 

Extra Flomax Link

[Skyler]

PS... over editing strikes again. I've had FIVE (yup, count 'em, episodes of renal colic so far, and a number of lesser episodes when the stone passed relatively easily without causing a major disruption). The first line above should say three times I've been to the ER... sigh. i try so hard and still flub. ARGH

[Nikki]

I will have to tell my daughter about flomax. I don't think it was used, but then again it could have been in the IV.

 

She initially had a infection. She took Cipro for ten days. Did not work. So the stone coupled with the infection was murderous.

 

Been there, seen it done it....hope to never experience it again.

 

Hugs

[Skyler]

I will have to tell my daughter about flomax. I don't think it was used, but then again it could have been in the IV.

 

She initially had a infection. She took Cipro for ten days. Did not work. So the stone coupled with the infection was murderous.

 

Been there, seen it done it....hope to never experience it again.

 

Hugs

 

I was sorry to hear about the infection... sounded brutal. She needed to go in that time for sure.

Flomax is given PO. They gave it to me when I was in the ER, so now my doc gives me a script for 4 tabs.. it's all I need as I only take them when the pain starts to go into overdrive (spelled colic.. and it is one of the worst pains we can have.. right up there, but then you know that.) I would not have known what they used except I asked. Hum, it was the only thing they got me to keep down that first time... they had to give me ever stronger pain meds four times before it stopped. The doc could not believe it took that much to stamp it out... that was after they kept me waiting for 3 hours of course.. No way I want to go in again for a stone unless there is NO option.

[Nikki]

I had an appointment this week with Psych Nurse Practitioner. I am still at 30mgs. Celexa and 30mgs. Imipramine.

 

I feel the best I have felt in a very long time.

 

Why? Because I am working alot. Busy, money is coming in. My daughter is busy at work too.

My mother has an Aide who can come over as much as she wants and drives her to the doctor, shopping, etc.

 

Right now I am making sure I make charitable donations as a way of saying Thank You God for my business expanding.

 

PSPS

 

She hired me to clean her office every Friday. There is a Psychiatrist, her, and two counselors. And to clean her house as well, that is once per month.

She said 'things were disappearing with the person who was there'.

 

This is my first commercial job. WOW

 

Thank you all for walking me thru the dry spots. Keeping fingers crossed that more business like this will come in......

 

Pet Sitting this weekend at my house for the cutest little Pug My Westie really likes her.

 

Still working at TJMaxx. I work at the Jewelry Counter with a OCD, Controlling, Neurotic employee. She can't seem to help herself and has not idea she drives people crazy.

I do work in other areas too.

 

Question??????

 

When I work there at night and come home at 11:00PM I can't fall asleep. I lay there for hours. I believe I am still wired. I asked the other people there if this happens to them and they said yes. Sux. So I have been in a chronic state of tiredness for the last 5 weeks.

Does this happen to you and how can I overcome it.

 

Also, I need to go in and have the days I am available to work changed to accommodate my business.....I can work there Saturday, Sunday, Monday...wish me luck.

 

Hugs

[Sparrow]

This is great news, Nikki! Really pleased for you.

 

Sparrow

[strawberry17]

Great news Nikki, glad business is going well.

Re the finishing late and not getting to sleep business, I am exactly the same, if I go out for a late evening, it takes me hours to wind down and go to sleep, so I do sympathise.

[Barbarannamated]

Great to hear things are going well, Nikki! You have worked hard through some tough times and glad to hear you are experiencing good results. Positive feedback/reward is the best motivator.

 

Have you tried chamomile or sleepytime tea after work? The fluorescent lighting in stores bothers me, but not sure how you might counteract that. Do they always stay open that late or will you get a reprieve after Christmas?

 

B

[Skyler]

This is my first commercial job. WOW

 

Thank you all for walking me thru the dry spots. Keeping fingers crossed that more business like this will come in......

 

Pet Sitting this weekend at my house for the cutest little Pug My Westie really likes her.

 

Great news Nikki...

[Nikki]

Hi guys....

 

I went to TJMaxx today to pick up a few things. Employees get 20% off this weekend and they asked me if I wanted to stay and work. I stayed from 11-5. I never turn down work or chocolate

 

Thank you for your replies. During the Holiday Seasonthe store closes now at 11:00, after that it's clean up time called recovery. So it is late.

 

I may try the Sleepy Time Tea.

 

I need to color my hair (don't tell anyone), need a pedicure which I do every Friday night,

and I really need to take care of PAPERWORK which I can't stand. Tear up the carpet in my closet this weekend.

 

I can't tell you what a difference it has made in my life that my mother now has a Home Health Aide. The Nursing Agency told me it would make my life and her's so much easier and it has.

 

Okay time for a shower, and pedicure....too late to do my hair.

 

Need to log onto Amazon to order some meditation CD's. Bored with the ones I have. Good prices.

 

Hugs

[Altostrata]

Good to hear you're doing so well, Nikki.

 

The bright lights at work late at night are probably telling your brain it's daytime.

 

When you go home, keep lights low and make sure your bedroom is very dark. A meditation break in the dark when you go to bed might help.

 

How do you get along with melatonin?

[Skyler]

We tend to blame alot on ssri's...the truth is, I always had cravings, but not like I have with ssri's. When I was on Imipramine alone, it wasn't that bad. Not good, never is, but nothing like paxil, lexapro, celexa.

 

Has anyone else had this happen? If you are off ssri's did your cravings for chocolate (sugar) lessen to a more reasonable level?

I was the same.. struggled with 'basic' food cravings, then with Lyrica (same appetite effects), I started craving. 24/7 I think about food. What works is knowing that eating does not stop it. Sure, it's better when the food is actually being consumed, and maybe for about 5 mins after, but right after that it gets worse again.

 

A couple of articles you might want to read... here and here and here.

 

The carvings will get better when you are off the ADs.. but in the meantime try inserting a mindful caution.

[Nikki]

Alto for me Melatonin is like taking LSD. Meditation CD's are good for me....

 

Hope things continue to go well after I drop the dose of Celexa.

 

Being tired from alot of work and not enough sleep is tolerable. I just can't wait to find a Saturday afternoon when I can snooze zzzzzzzzz's would be welcome..

 

Hugs

[Altostrata]

You might want to try this supplement that reinforces the sleep signal http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3432-adenosine-monophosphate-supplement-to-aid-sleep/

[Nikki]

Hi guys....

 

Would like run this by you. Historically, I have never really figured out how to deal with a pain-in-the-butt co-worker. It has been a problem for me since forever.

 

I have always had disastrous results in dealing with a neurotic co-worker. So I sat down and reviewed what I did in the past which didn't work. And what can I do this time around without the drama. Bearing in mind, that "People do what they do because of who they are, not because of me."

 

I have been working in jewelry at TJMaxx. It is very hectic and that is okay. I like selling jewelry. I like interacting with people.

 

The full time employee there is controlling, scrutinizing, blaming. She is a nervous wreck and can't seem to control herself. We work under the constant air that we are thieves. There is the scrutiny, innuendos, and constant accusations of doing something sneaky with the jewelry.

 

I had zero problems with anyone in that entire store. And now I am behind a counter with this witch.

 

She drives anyone who goes behind that counter absolutely crazy.

 

I have been obsessing over it. Obsessing is how I give myself anxiety.

 

I have come to the conclusion that it is not good for me to work in Jewelry. She won't change. I am uncomfortable even touching the jewelry. And I am stressing over going to work. That suxs.

 

I was thinking of asking to be taken out of jewelry and keeping my explanation simple but to the point. Basically the scrutiny, innuendos, and accusations are slanderous. I am uncomfortable even touching the jewelry, and want to keep it simple. The management there really wants me to work jewelry. The other ladies do not work there as much as I do and they said that they try to ignore her.

 

TJMaxx suffers tremendous losses from theft. I am not one of the thieves. I do not like being treated like a criminal.

 

I have a bit of anxiety in the AM and wake up thinking about this. So the anxiety is situational.

 

I have to be aware of anxiety signals. Is it meds, a condition or situational?

 

For the last three years the anxiety was bad. Depression, worry bad too. Alot of it was the economic situation which frightened me beyond belief.

 

 

Suggestions please.....

[Nikki]

Been to ER twice in the last 4 weeks. My daughter has IC again. She has a significant infection which is exacerbating the IC. She has immune to Cipro and possibly Levequin.

 

This is so painful. It is like having glass stuck in your urethra. She will be seeing the specialist who diagnosed it. There isn't a cure yet.

 

Send prayers....

[Skyler]

I have been obsessing over it. Obsessing is how I give myself anxiety.

I was thinking of asking to be taken out of jewelry and keeping my explanation simple but to the point. Basically the scrutiny, innuendos, and accusations are slanderous. I am uncomfortable even touching the jewelry, and want to keep it simple. The management there really wants me to work jewelry. The other ladies do not work there as much as I do and they said that they try to ignore her.

Her behavior is a management problem (failure in this case), NOT yours. They are getting the $s to cope with her. The best way to deal with your obsessions is to take action. Ask out! (Sounds like the poor soul should be fired.) Do you think you may be internalizing responsibility for this problem?

 

btw... Keeping it simple is good, but management should know the real reason regardless. They would not want to be working alongside her in an enclosed area either.

 

Been to ER twice in the last 4 weeks. My daughter has IC again. She has a significant infection which is exacerbating the IC. She has immune to Cipro and possibly Levequin.

 

This is so painful. It is like having glass stuck in your urethra. She will be seeing the specialist who diagnosed it. There isn't a cure yet.

Nikki, I'm very sorry to hear your daughter is so sick. I can't imagine what it must be like to have that sort of pain day after day. Dreadful. Give your daughter an extra hug for me?

[Nikki]

thank you S

 

I don't like having conflict at work. When stuff like this has cropped up in the past I had that feeling of being victimized and being backed into a corner.

 

Management doesn't want to hear the BS (IMHO). I am not internalizing responsibility. I am afraid of losing a job due to someone's accusations.

 

She is on our backs the entire shift. There is no room to breath. We are all very nice, responsible, honest women. The work gets done and we all work well together in a cohesive manner without her.

 

She is telling the managers information which is potentially damaging and in some cases - not true.

 

So, how to handle with the least amount of damage?????

 

Keep things in the I statement.

Keep it simple, short and to the point.

Ask to be taken out of jewelry to protect myself.

 

?

[Skyler]

thank you S

 

I don't like having conflict at work. When stuff like this has cropped up in the past I had that feeling of being victimized and being backed into a corner.

 

Management doesn't want to hear the BS (IMHO). I am not internalizing responsibility. I am afraid of losing a job due to someone's accusations.

 

She is on our backs the entire shift. There is no room to breath. We are all very nice, responsible, honest women. The work gets done and we all work well together in a cohesive manner without her.

 

She is telling the managers information which is potentially damaging and in some cases - not true.

 

So, how to handle with the least amount of damage?????

 

Keep things in the I statement.

Keep it simple, short and to the point.

Ask to be taken out of jewelry to protect myself.

What is the reason you think management will come back on you? Far as I can see, they are trying to get you to accommodate a situation they are aware of and should be addressing themselves. Best to sidestep involvement, keep it short and sweet, no more.

 

Was there someone in your distant past who held you responsible for situations over which you had no power, for which you were blamed. An authority figure, a parent?

[Nikki]

Hi...

 

Decided to put this here. Need some help I am spiraling downward. Anxiety, fatigue. Scared, down in the dumps again. You know, those feelings of confusion and hopelessness.

 

I can't seem to snap out of the fatigue. I am at the end of the flu. Taking Bactrim (sux).

 

What's going on with me....

 

My daughter is sick and scared with no cure in sight for the IC. This may be bothering me more than anything. I've been so busy, I have not really been present for her. She is suffering both physically and emotionally. She has chronic pain. She is on a new medication that is supposed to put the bladder to sleep in a sense to give it a chance to rest from the spasms.

 

The Holidays? They are a downer. Why I don't know. Stress? Money? Lonely?

 

I am frustrated with working p/t at TJMaxx for little money. It's very hard work. It is exhausting. But I had to supplement until I make more with my business.

 

And then.....I go to a place of question and fear about what I am doing. I am still trying to put my life together from 2009 job loss and events that followed.

 

I know that everything in my life is here because of me and decisions I've made.

 

Having many regrets and confusion.

 

Haven't felt this low in a good while. I'm scared, again.

 

being busy lately has kept me isolated from friends...

 

Need to talk, looking for answers.

 

Hugs

[strawberry17]

Nikki I'm sorry you're not feeling so good

Is it the time of year? I hate post Christmas and January, the lowest point of the year for me generally, have you made any cuts in the past 2/3 weeks in Celexa? (sorry I lost track of where you are but have a feeling you've stayed at the same dose a while?)

You do have an awful lot to deal with in your life, it can't be surprising it all gets you down and flu is bound to have an effect as well.

No magical answers, just letting you know I read your post and I feel for you and I hope 2013 will be a better year for you.

strawberry

[mindbend]

Nikki yours is a story of strength and courage! Good things don't last but same with the bad stuff, just remember that you only have to get through one day at a time, don't dwell on choices made and regrets, they really don't serve a purpose other than condemning our actions and making us feel all that much worse. We only can do our best at any given moment, we would all take different routes with foresight but who truly ever gets to do that? That's how we have blessings, good things happen without any warning too. Believe that somehow all the madness we go through is for a reason, and have faith that you will be rewarded for showing up to life every single day even when the going gets tough!

 

I wish you all the peace, patience and strength you need..

[Nikki]

Thank you....

 

I had alot of anxiety today. I haven't had that in a long time.

 

It wasn't this bad until I started taking Bactrim. I get terrible anxiety from Cipro. This is a heavy duty drug.

 

Yes Strawberry, December, January has alot to do with it. I have been working everyday with the Flu. Tired or being tired. When you have your own business, you can't call in sick.

 

I have to talk myself thru this spell. And thank you for helping me. Hope tomorrow is better.

 

I've got to lay down again. Work > lay down > work > lay down.....Mama Mia it's been over a week already

 

Strawberry I have not made a drop in quite some time. 30mgs. Celexa and 30mgs. Imipramine.

Must recover from the Flu, be off antibiotics, etc. to even think about a drop.

 

I realized last night that I stopped Meditating as well. It was helping alot. Need new cd's.

 

If I have anxiety tomorrow, please be around. You are my outlet

[strawberry17]

Nikki I'm around although at work,I read things in my lunch break flu really sucks (there I'm sounding American now).

I've been doing mindfulness practise and I think it really helps with anxiety, in a subtle way. Treat yourself to some new CDs!

[Nikki]

Thank you Birthday Girl:)

 

This was one Helluva Holiday Season.

 

I went from the Flu to a UTI. Lots of antibiotics and I don't like the way they make me feel.

 

So I will begin a nice probiotic, vitamin regime to bolster my immune system.

 

I do well with probiotics.

 

Will add Fish Oil and a multi vit liquid which I think is great.

 

I think I may add Green Vibrance to the mix.

 

 

Here's to New Beginnings

[Barbarannamated]

Nikki,

Do all antibiotics effect you badly (mood, anxiety)? I've been on Penicillin for almost 2 weeks for an impacted tooth and wonder if it's adding to emotionality. I saw that someone reacted badly to tetracycline. I forget who mentioned that.

Of course, hard to tell with emotions of holidays.

[Jemima]

Nikki,

Do all antibiotics effect you badly (mood, anxiety)? I've been on Penicillin for almost 2 weeks for an impacted tooth and wonder if it's adding to emotionality. I saw that someone reacted badly to tetracycline. I forget who mentioned that.

Of course, hard to tell with emotions of holidays.

 

That was me, and I get outright suicidal on tetracycline. It doesn't help at all to know that the drug is causing the depression. I just can't take the stuff. I'm also allergic to penicillin.

[peggy]

Nikki, I am so sorry that you are having such awful issues at work. I can relate to the all consuming anxiety of work related conflicts. i would suggest that you try to write all communications with this woman in a diary so that you have something that you can refer to when talking to management.

 

Here's to a better start to 2013

[Nikki]

Barb....

 

I react to all antibiotics, particularly Cipro, Levaquin and Bactrim. The penicillan ones upset my stomach.

 

These drugs cause anxiety, low moods, no clarity in my thinking, etc. Cipro is notorious for bad dreams and profuse perspiration. In a WD situation these meds compound issues.

 

Cipro should not be mixed with Ibuprofen or Naprosin. Psych Nurse looked that up for me.

 

God I am tired of being sick. Really tired of antibiotics.

 

No matter how much I lay down I still need to lay down some more.

 

I know I sound like a whining woman, because I am