Nikki Posted February 17, 2013 Author Share Posted February 17, 2013 The gyn told me he only prescribes the lowest dosage of fluconazole and to half it, so maybe he knows more about fluconazole then most. I do think Celexa may be behind HBP. Printed out what you sent me to bring to Psych Nurse. Honestly, I feel like 'damned if I do and damned if I don't.' When I was on 30mgs. Celexa and 30mgs. Imipramine I was okay. When I was on 20mgs. Celexa and 30mgs. Imipramine I was okay. Getting down there this time around wasn't good. I was my thought to get back down to the lowest doses possible where I felt okay. Hang there and someday taper. Due to the challenges I am presented with now, I suppose it just isn't the time. So...this week Internist and Psych Nurse. I have to come to some form of acceptance on where I am at. This may not happen until I stabilize. I started having those little thoughts of "okay I wish I were dead." Not that would harm myself, just that thought of I wish I could lean against a wall and drop-dead. I want to thank all of you for your loving concern. Got to go to work. Seeing Mom first. Hugs Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted February 17, 2013 Administrator Share Posted February 17, 2013 Hi Nikki Sorry you are having a difficult go of it. I think Barb may be on to something looking at the drug interactions. Working 21 days straight without a break is probably wearing down your immune system, too. I find that as much as I want off of these drugs that I have to reduce at less than 10% of my previous dose or my coping skills become challenged. Get back to a stable dose and then see where you go from there. Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted February 17, 2013 Share Posted February 17, 2013 Nikki, Definitely take this info to your doc. I don't want to speak on something I'm not well-informed of. Perhaps Alto could take a look and offer her thoughts. I'm concerned that a doc may see the potential for Torsades de Pointes (cardiac arrhythmia/ QT prolongation) and try to decrease or DC either imipramine or Celexa too quickly. I believe any arrhythmia can present as and FEEL LIKE primary anxiety. This is common with mitral valve prolapse also. The few doses if fluconazole may have contributed to your increase in symptoms over the last few days. Try not to worry. You've been on Celexa and imipramine concomitantly for awhile, so no cause for alarm. I just wanted to draw your attention to this as a possible explanation for your tendency toward severe anxiety, UTIs, and weight gain (imipramine). It is highly anticholinergic. I realize you've been targeting the Celexa, but it might be a combination of the two that is causing your problems. Cipro also causes Torsades de Pointes. http://www.azcert.org/medical-pros/drug-lists/list-01.cfm?sort=Brand_name Hang in there. Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 I have been doing some research and did go to the website you posted for me. It's amazing how many drugs interact adversely with one another and the whole world it seems is on lots of medicines. In researching HBP medication I checked for interactions with SSRI's and Imipramine as well. I also went over the crazymeds.com for some info. Barb I only took one fluconazole and it was after I started to feel down. I have taken it over the years without any adverse reaction. I do not react well to antibiotics. However when I am feeling okay I can tolerate them. In a WD state it's quite the opposite. They can give me anxiety. I hope the 30mgs. kicks in for Celexa and I would like to get myself back down to 30mgs. Imipramine where I felt good. I just can't make a move anymore. WD just wipes me out. If life were a bowl of Cherries I would consider it. But it ain't, not yet anyway. Thank you for taking the time to look into this and reply. PS I did go see my mother and as soon as I walked in the door she got up and gave me a long and loving hug and then did it again. Just what the doctor ordered Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted February 18, 2013 Administrator Share Posted February 18, 2013 Nothing like a hug from, mom 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus peggy Posted February 18, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 18, 2013 Nikki, i think you should amazing courage and perserverence - i wish you some peace from anxiety and withdrawals ASAP! love and light Peggy Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months laterBack on effexor for another 9 months.Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.Back on effexor - this time for 3 yearsReduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorterJan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years.... 4th March 2015 - 67.5mg; 31st March - 60mg; 24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg; 9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg; 1st Dec - 25.8mg; 28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted February 18, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 18, 2013 Nikki.... about the Serzone: First, I'm surprised your Mom is on it. I thought that it was pulled from the market because of liver problems? I had a break down of sorts in 1996 and because of my history of depression beginning as a teenager I knew I would not be able to get out of the "dark hole" without help so drove myself to the ER. There the psychiatric nurse on call spoke to me, they did an EKG and I was sent home with 6 xanax tabs. , the name of a psychiatrist and my promise to make an appt. with my GP the following day. My GP refilled the xanax and put me on zoloft. I felt better after a week and stayed on Zoloft for over a year even though it had sexual side effects. I got to a point where I got fed up with the sexual side effects and so the same GP put me on Serzone , a "new" AD at that time and one pro ported to have no sexual side effects. The transition to Serzone was very smooth the only complicating factor being that it interacted with the xanax , enhancing xanax's effect so I simultneously reduced the xanax dosage to ameliorate this phenomenon. No problems. The serzone , in fact, did NOT have sexual side effects and that was a huge relief. I do, however, think that I was somewhat emotionally numbed by the serzone. When people on this forum talk about being in a "fog" I am most reminded of the years that I was on Serzone and xanax. I guess it would be impossible for me to say that it was JUST the serzone, but certainly being on that combination ( serzone/xanax) in retrospect made me feel zombie - like. I was on Serzone from then until it was taken off of the market at which time I was put on lexapro. I believe it was at this time that my dosage of xanax somehow got messed up ; probably because of some confusion about the interaction between the serzone / xanax and switching. I'm not sure. But the fact is somehow my dosage of xanax got to 4 mg which is a mighty high dose. I'm paying the price for that now but it is what it is. So , in conclusion, I would have to say: 1) Serzone "worked" for depression. I was not depressed during any of those years or if I had a low mood I knew it was temporary. 2) My prescribing doctor did regular liver screenings because of the reports of liver failure for some patients on it. 3) Ultimately it was pulled from the market , or at any rate I was switched to another AD because of the liver concerns. I personally did not have any indication from the screenings that there was a problem with my liver. 4) Serzone enhances the effect of benzos. Or at least that was a concern at that time. 5) Serzone was one of those weird drugs that for those of us who experience sexual side effects.... it did not. 6) While I was on Serzone I felt zombie- like but did not actually realize this until I went off of it and the fog cleared. Hopefully that will give you some insight. How is your Mom doing on it? RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 The generic of Serzone is on the market. All of the people I have met (not that many) did not have sexual side effects from Serzone and their anxiety and depression lifted. I took it for a week. The Psych who put me on it (while I was in the office) did research on his laptop and a book. He then showed me the statistics of those who had the adverse reaction. They did have kidney and liver issues to begin with and there was those who did not. It was an extremely small number of patients who were effected. Those are the statistics. However the sadness and loss those people went thru was horrible. It does cause brain fog for some. Not for my mom or the two other women I know who took it. I took it to get off Lexapro. Lexapro and Serzone well one elevates the other) so it had to be done in large drops in dose and dropping Lexapro in large doses made me nuttsy. This doctor told me he didn't believe that I was being affected by WD and told me he could not see me. Thank goodness it was only a week. But I did feel foggy. Alot of AM anxiety. Crying stopped. Worried like mad over things I have to take care of. Can't stop the fear and worry over bills. Home insurance, life insurance, health insurance, HOA,car insurance. Mammogram coming up. UTI, is medicine working? HBP. I can't seem to coach myself thru this. I am stuck big time in my own worry. I can't stand my life anymore. Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted February 18, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 18, 2013 Nikki, I'm so sorry you are having these feelings and all the struggles you are going through. Worrying is not going to help anything, I know because I've tried it! Try changing the channel, you are not your thoughts, your thought belong to you. That puts you in charge of them. Think about the happier times you've had and tell yourself, "This will pass and I'm getting better every day, I will be happy and well again". Hugs, Tezza http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted February 18, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 18, 2013 All of the people I have met (not that many) did not have sexual side effects from Serzone and their anxiety and depression lifted. Ye. It worked for me and was good. He then showed me the statistics of those who had the adverse reaction. It was an extremely small number of patients who were effected. I suspected this at the time but didn't want to take the chance and especially since I was one who felt foggy & numb with it. Lex. didn't make me feel tht way. Alot of AM anxiety. Crying stopped. Worried like mad over things I have to take care of. Can't stop the fear and worry over bills. Home insurance, life insurance, health insurance, HOA,car insurance. Mammogram coming up. UTI, is medicine working? HBP. I can't seem to coach myself thru this. I am stuck big time in my own worry. I've been stuck here, Nikki. Too many time in my life to count or remember ( thank God) but I got through them. I don't know how. Some of it is through a haze of meds maybe but much of it is just nature's way to help one forget such times. Kind of like how the memories of the pain from labor and birth seems to be erased from a woman's mind and she will happily get pregnant to welcome another baby into this world. Difficulty in a life time is kind of like having a baby; it can be frequent, it can be painful, it can be long it can be short, and when it's over the reward lasts a very long time and one can always look back and be proud of the accomplishment. But in the moment it sucks . And no one, nothing, not even you can stop it. Maybe that's why breathing and meditation are are part of the birthing process too!!! I don't have a way to say "it will get better" ( although I truly do think it will) but I would be lying if I thought it were going to be easy for you or that it would get better soon. That would be disingenuous of me. BUT. I do recall very upbeat, optimistic posts from you & not so very long ago either. That shows me that there is a very strong spirit of Nikki's that will be very difficult to beat or quiet easily. You just have to fight with her to get yourself out of the cycle of worry. Have you ever read the book "Women Who Run With The Wolves" by Clasissa Pinkola Estes? It is a book of a series of myths throughout the ages from all different cultures from around the world about women. And how as a gender, throughout all different cultures, we seem to have a common set of internal conflict & struggles but we also have a unique psyche that is unbelievably resilient and strong. No one & nothing generally helps these women until they tap into this internal strength. You might like the book if for nothing else but a diversion. In the mean time please be gentle with yourself and know that there is a part of you, a part of all of us that we all have in common, that is a fighter. Try as you might. I don't think you will ever beat her!!!! She's just waiting for you to let her take charge to get you back to the Nikki you know is the one you deserve!!! I can't stand my life anymore. I understand this Nikki. I think all of us here do. I haven't been able to stand my life for much of it. Sad but true. Some times I have to fake it. Hang. RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted February 18, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 18, 2013 All of the people I have met (not that many) did not have sexual side effects from Serzone and their anxiety and depression lifted. Ye. It worked for me and was good. He then showed me the statistics of those who had the adverse reaction. It was an extremely small number of patients who were effected. I suspected this at the time but didn't want to take the chance and especially since I was one who felt foggy & numb with it. Lex. didn't make me feel tht way. Alot of AM anxiety. Crying stopped. Worried like mad over things I have to take care of. Can't stop the fear and worry over bills. Home insurance, life insurance, health insurance, HOA,car insurance. Mammogram coming up. UTI, is medicine working? HBP. I can't seem to coach myself thru this. I am stuck big time in my own worry. I've been stuck here, Nikki. Too many time in my life to count or remember ( thank God) but I got through them. I don't know how. Some of it is through a haze of meds maybe but much of it is just nature's way to help one forget such times. Kind of like how the memories of the pain from labor and birth seems to be erased from a woman's mind and she will happily get pregnant to welcome another baby into this world. Difficulty in a life time is kind of like having a baby; it can be frequent, it can be painful, it can be long it can be short, and when it's over the reward lasts a very long time and one can always look back and be proud of the accomplishment. But in the moment it sucks . And no one, nothing, not even you can stop it. Maybe that's why breathing and meditation are are part of the birthing process too!!! I don't have a way to say "it will get better" ( although I truly do think it will) but I would be lying if I thought it were going to be easy for you or that it would get better soon. That would be disingenuous of me. BUT. I do recall very upbeat, optimistic posts from you & not so very long ago either. That shows me that there is a very strong spirit of Nikki's that will be very difficult to beat or quiet easily. You just have to fight with her to get yourself out of the cycle of worry. Have you ever read the book "Women Who Run With The Wolves" by Clasissa Pinkola Estes? It is a book of a series of myths throughout the ages from all different cultures from around the world about women. And how as a gender, throughout all different cultures, we seem to have a common set of internal conflict & struggles but we also have a unique psyche that is unbelievably resilient and strong. No one & nothing generally helps these women until they tap into this internal strength. You might like the book if for nothing else but a diversion. In the mean time please be gentle with yourself and know that there is a part of you, a part of all of us that we all have in common, that is a fighter. Try as you might. I don't think you will ever beat her!!!! She's just waiting for you to let her take charge to get you back to the Nikki you know is the one you deserve!!! I can't stand my life anymore. I understand this Nikki. I think all of us here do. I haven't been able to stand my life for much of it. Sad but true. Some times I have to fake it. Hang. RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 18, 2013 Author Share Posted February 18, 2013 Wow, so lucky to have people like you I can come to. It is comforting to know I can come here. You know anxiety is a pain-in-the-butt - but depression is another thing. Harder to deal with for me anyway. Still depressed and I can feel it in my body and mind. When this happens I k now it's physiological (both chemical and situational). The chemical part is hard to change and it just becomes a vicious cycle. Tezza you are so sweet and today I will make that a mantra. "I am not my thoughts." RU, your right I have an inner strength and resilience. I know that. Sometimes I just break. I did this to myself by lowering the Celexa. I should not have lowered it at all, not at this time. I was doing well where I was. Can't leave well-enough alone. Something Else I am pondering... I really don't think I want to get off AD's. I would like to be at the lowest possible dose. Ideally one pill as opposed to two sounds better to me. I have thought back on my life and regardless of where, who, how when and why; I had sensitivities (anxiety and low grade depression that would surface at times, not much but it was there). I remember this as a kid, teenager, and as an adult. Maybe I just need to accept that it is okay to take medication. Finding the right one and staying put. Honestly, I can't go thru a WD again. Grateful you are all here. If I can help any one of you, please let me know. SEnd my PM if you need to talk. Hugs Celeste Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 HI all Going to Internist today for the blood pressure. Still having anxiety/depression and fear along with not being able to remember things (what people said). God please help me pull myself out of this... Hugs Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted February 19, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2013 You will pull yourself out of this. You've done it before and will do it again. Hang in there, Nikki....Remember windows and waves, we all have them sometimes. Hugs http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted February 19, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2013 I really don't think I want to get off AD's. I would like to be at the lowest possible dose. NIKKI. This is my thought as well. I've had low grade depression since I was a young teen. The only way I can see getting around this is going to southern states for the winter months. I have an Aunt with chronic depression. She lived in Seattle most of her life. Since she has purchased a home in S. Texas she has been able to reduce her AD to about 25% of what she was on .... RU wishing you a sunshine in your heart today!!! Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus peggy Posted February 19, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2013 RU, that was a great post! Nikki, don't think at the moment of whether or not you want to be on medication. That is an unhelpful thought - I have slowly come to believe that our bodies strive for homeostasis -even in an unmedicated state. Anxiety and depression are real emotions that can be useful or damaging. I believe our upbringing teaches us about how we accept or fight against these emotions. I have been re-reading 'The Happiness Trap' and it is really resonating with me. My upbringing taught me that anxiety was not an acceptable emotion - even though my mother was riddled with it and a constant phrase in our house was 'i don't now how i am going to get through the day'- we as children were not allowed to feel anxious and told 'don't be ridiculous - there is nothing to worry about' Well, that was unhelpful! It only taught me that this feeling that i had was unacceptable - not how to manage it and as a child i spent a lot of time worrying about not feeling good - because no one helped me through those times. The Happiness Trap talks about how anxiety is a perfectly normal emotion and it's our relationship with our emotions that paralyse us, not the emotion itself. Ultimately, we need to learn not to manage the anxiety, but how to let it be - in the background of our lives, not ruling it. I think you would really benefit from getting the book and working through it. love and light Peggy Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months laterBack on effexor for another 9 months.Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.Back on effexor - this time for 3 yearsReduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorterJan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years.... 4th March 2015 - 67.5mg; 31st March - 60mg; 24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg; 9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg; 1st Dec - 25.8mg; 28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus strawberry17 Posted February 19, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2013 Peggy I think my upbringing was a bit similar in relation to emotions. Think I'll be looking into that book. *** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/ Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007. Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido. Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 19, 2013 Author Share Posted February 19, 2013 RU I had to laugh....I live in Southern Florida 75 miles north of Miami Beach Loved the Emoticon:) "The Happiness Trap talks about how anxiety is a perfectly normal emotion and it's our relationship with our emotions that paralyse us, not the emotion itself." Peggy Peggy, I was had the same thing in my house and in Catholic Schools. There are many times I can detach from anxiety or coach myself thru it, or simply talk to someone for relief. When it is a chemical issue, I can't seem to get passed it unless I am unbelievably busy and that is just a mask. That book sounds like a must read. Thank you. Hugs Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus peggy Posted February 19, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 19, 2013 Peggy, I was had the same thing in my house and in Catholic Schools. There are many times I can detach from anxiety or coach myself thru it, or simply talk to someone for relief. When it is a chemical issue, I can't seem to get passed it unless I am unbelievably busy and that is just a mask. That book sounds like a must read. Thank you. Hugs you know, i think this is critical -the book emphasises NOT to get passed it. I think this is where we all go wrong - it is an unpleasant experience and we want to be free of it - but the nature of it is to hang on and to draw attention to itself. The idea is to allow it to be, not to try and change it, but also not to focus on it. HA HA you say? I do too, but I really do think it is the ultimate answer - because there will always be anxiety and the need to have skills that can get us through are paramount. I am really working on this at the moment. Started in 2000 - On 150mg most of the time, (but up to 225mg at highest dose for 6 months in the beginning)Reduced off easily first time - but got depressed (not too much anxiety) 6 months laterBack on effexor for another 9 months.Reduced off again with no immediate w/d - suddenly got depressed and anxious ++ again 3 or 4 months later.Back on effexor - this time for 3 yearsReduced off over a month - 6 weeks later terrible anxiety - back on.Rinse and repeat 4 more times - each time the period before the anxiety comes back got shorter and shorterJan - July 2012 75mg down to 37.5mg;, 8/3/12 - 35mg. 8/25/12 - 32mg. 9/11- 28mg, 10/2 - 25mg, 10/29 - 22mg, 11/19 - 19.8mg; 12/11 - 17m,1/1- 15.5mg; 1/22 -14mg, 2/7 14.9mg, 2/18 - 17.8mg - crashed big time: back to 75mg where i sat for 2 years.... 4th March 2015 - 67.5mg; 31st March - 60mg; 24th April - 53mg; 13th May - 48mg; 26th May - 45mg; 9th June - 41mg; 1 July- 37.5mg; 20 July - 34mg; 11 August - 31mg; 1st Sept - 28mg; 1st Dec - 25.8mg; 28th Dec - 23.2mg; 23rd Jan-21.9mg; Feb 7th- 21mg; March 1st - 20.1mg, March 30th - 18mg Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Nikki, I am so sorry it's so hard right now. At beyondmeds.com, there is the success story of a woman who endured many meds and hospitalizations with a diagnosis of schizoaffective disorder. She escaped it all. She wrote that she gets through extreme states by focusing on them instead of fixing them. For example, if she is depressed, she totally isolates herself, goes to bed, and tries to cry as much as she can. But hard to do if you are working 21 days straight! I know there are no easy answers. Meimeiquest 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
Barbarannamated Posted February 20, 2013 Share Posted February 20, 2013 Peggy, I was had the same thing in my house and in Catholic Schools. There are many times I can detach from anxiety or coach myself thru it, or simply talk to someone for relief. When it is a chemical issue, I can't seem to get passed it unless I am unbelievably busy and that is just a mask. you know, i think this is critical -the book emphasises NOT to get passed it. I think this is where we all go wrong - it is an unpleasant experience and we want to be free of it - but the nature of it is to hang on and to draw attention to itself. The idea is to allow it to be, not to try and change it, but also not to focus on it. HA HA you say? I do too, but I really do think it is the ultimate answer - because there will always be anxiety and the need to have skills that can get us through are paramount. I am really working on this at the moment. GREAT point, Peggy! Something i struggle with, too. It's so tempting to do ANYTHING to distract from the dark moments, be it anxiety or sadness or grief or loneliness. For years, the drugs helped me do that and i never addressed the underlying issues. Thanks for your post. Nikki. Sorry about the tangent/ B Pristiq tapered over 8 months ending Spring 2011 after 18 years of polydrugging that began w/Zoloft for fatigue/general malaise (not mood). CURRENT: 1mg Klonopin qhs (SSRI bruxism), 75mg trazodone qhs, various hormonesLitigation for 11 years for Work-related injury, settled 2004. Involuntary medical retirement in 2001 (age 39). 2012 - brain MRI showing diffuse, chronic cerebrovascular damage/demyelination possibly vasculitis/cerebritis. Dx w/autoimmune polyendocrine failure.<p>2013 - Dx w/CNS Sjogren's Lupus (FANA antibodies first appeared in 1997 but missed by doc). Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 I think I make myself more anxious by trying to escape it. I really messed up. Please I need some advise. I am not making good choices with meds. Went from 30mgs. to 25mgs. Celexa in one drop. Increased Imipramine from 30mgs. to 40mgs. to circumvent drop in Celexa. After 12-15 days Boom WD hit as you know. In the mix Keflex for UTI Upped the Celexa back to 30mgs. Dropped Imipramine back to 30mgs. Feel terrible. Fatigue. Anxiety. Depressed (not as bad as a few days ago). Hazy thinking. Fog. Keflex has side effects. Should I take more Imipramine or just ride this out and hope to stabilize. Should be finishing Keflex soon. Need some advise please....alot of work today. Maybe it will help. Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted February 20, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 20, 2013 Hi Nikki, If it were me, I'd try to stay where you are with the 30/30 of celexa and imipramine. You seemed to have felt pretty good there before. Since you've already changed the dosing twice, it may be a good idea not to change it again right now, just patiently wait for stabilization. I've kinda learned this the hard way, myself. Too much changing makes you really wobbly. I'm so sorry you've found yourself in this situation. Trying to re-stabilize is tough! It will happen though. Hugs http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus strawberry17 Posted February 20, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 20, 2013 Hmmm think I'm with Tezza on this, stick with the 30mg celexa and 30mg Imipramine, although I don't know a lot about Imipramine, I do know it really messes you up to keep bouncing around with doses, done it myself. How long have you been on Imipramine? perhaps someone who knows more about that one might have a comment on it. *** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/ Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007. Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido. Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 20, 2013 Author Share Posted February 20, 2013 Hey Folks.... I did speak with the Psych Nurse today. I told her what I did. I told her about taking Keflex. She said Keflex is known to cause anxiety. It is an antibiotic that is used when all else fails. Very potent stuff. It does cause headaches which I have and fogginess. She suggested staying at 30mgs. of each med and if I were on 25mgs. Celexa for two weeks it is going to probably take (2) weeks to bounce back. Take a little Xanax for anxiety. I have had a prescription for Xanax in my wallet for about three months. I never really use benzos. I did fill the Rx today. Like s1335, mornings are bad. Staying in the house does not work for me. I need to get out and of course I went to work, then the County Clerk Office to pay a ticket to the tune of $282. Thank you very much Juno Beach BS Traffic Cameras Still don't feel good. Made a decision that when craziness (thoughts) popped up I would substitute it with a prayer. Do I have to tell you that I did this at least 1 million times. I hope this UTI is clearing so I can get off Keflex. Called office about culture results and did not hear back....Hmmmmm Hope I am on the right drug Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
s1335 Posted February 21, 2013 Share Posted February 21, 2013 Reading thru your experiences reminds me of my previous and current WD episodes. The first three times I had no idea about WD from ad's but thankfully we can know that in time with consistent dosages we'll be back to feeling like real people again! Nikki I'm so glad in a strange way to relate to your symptoms. The heavy sinking depression, particularly in the mornings is a real trial..and I know what you mean about anxiety with things to get done because in this state of mind, getting out of bed is a chore! But in just a few more days the switch will turn on and stabilization will be here. What a blessed near future we have. Just need to make it thru a few more days keeping the end in sight..kind of like as a kid looking forward to your birthday at the end of the month! Hang inI there! Lexapro 20mg 2001-2003 (tried to taper myself too quickly) Back on Lexapro 40mg 2003-2006 (tried to taper...again) On Celexa 20mg 2006-2008 (taper again) Citalopram 40mg 2008-2012 (mid November tried to taper, things got worse) Citalopram 20mg 2012 (late November) Citalopram 20mg 2013 (January started to get a little better but sometime along the way stopped taking Citalopram and started losing track of everything) Bad episode of lack of concentration and lost in thoughts, loss of sleep etc. Ended up in mental hospital for a week and was back on 20mg Citalopram and 5mg Olanzopine and 2mg Benztropine. February 11 2013 Back on 40mg Citalopram and tapering Olanzopine to 2.5mg and Benztropine 1mg under Psychiatric care. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus areyouthere Posted February 21, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 21, 2013 RU I had to laugh....I live in Southern Florida 75 miles north of Miami Beach Hrummmph!!!! So much for THAT suggestion!! Ha! I'm looking at getting a foot of snow tomorrow but must admit it should be fun... I'm with my mother , plenty of food and a new scrabble board. Just like old times!!!!! Hoping tomorrow is a great day for all of us! RU Fall 1995 xanax, zoloft. switched to Serzone 1996- spring 2003serzone/ xanax/ lightbox. b]Fall 2003- Fall 2004? Lexapro 10 mg. Light box /4 mg. xanax.[/b] 2004 - Fall of 2009 10 mg Lex, 150 mg Wellbutrin XL % 4 mg xanax November 2009- Sept. 2011 10 mg lex., 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax [/b Sept.2012- July 2012 20 mg Lex 300 Well. XL, 4 mg Xanax My mantra " go slow & with the flow " 3/2/13.. Began equal dosing 5 Xs /day xanax, while simultaneously incorporating a 2.5 % drop ( from 3.5 mg/day to 3.4 mg/day) 4/6/13 dropped from 300 mg. Wellbutrin XL to 150 mg. Difficult but DONE! Down to 3.3 mg xanax/ day / 6/10/13 3 mg xanax/day; 7/15/2013 2.88mg xanax/day. 10/ 1/2013...... 2.5 mg xanax… ( switched to tablets again) WOO HOO!!!!!! Holding here… cont. with Lexapro. 1/ 2/2014.. tapered to 18mg ( by weight) of a 26 mg ( by weight) pill of 20 mg tab. lexapro. goal is 13mg (by weight OR 10 mg by ingredient content) and STOPPED. Feeling very down with unbalanced, unpredictable WD symptoms. 1/2/2014- ??? Taking a brain-healing break from tapering anything after actively tapering something for 1.5 years. So… daily doses as of 2/2/2014: 18 mg by weight Lex, 150 mg Well. XL, 2.5 mg xanax, down from 26 mg by weight Lex., 300 mg well. XL, 4 mg xanax in August, 2012. I'll take it. 5/8/14 started equivalent dose liquid./ tabs. 5/13/14 1.5 % cut. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus strawberry17 Posted February 21, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 21, 2013 Interesting about the powerful antibiotic then, that could explain a lot, hope you don't have too many days of that left to take, yes what s1335 says, focus on the fact that there is light at the end of the tunnel and you will start to feel better soon, focus on that light. *** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/ Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007. Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido. Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 21, 2013 Author Share Posted February 21, 2013 I took the Xanax last night along with Keflex ~ and Celexa/Imipramine. I can't tell you how much better I felt this morning. It must have been more of the AD's and some Keflex, not a very good mixture. Dr. office called, yes I am on the right med. Saints preserve us, I never want to go thru that experience again. I was able to get down from 40mgs. of Celexa to 30 without a problem, so that is good. Please remind me not to do anything again. Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted February 21, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 21, 2013 Hi Nikki, I'm so glad you are feeling better. Xanax should have made you sleep very well since you're not accustomed to it. Be careful with that one. If you still wish to come off the celexa, as you did before, maybe you could get good and stable and proceed with much smaller cuts. Of course, it's your choice, just thought I'd mention. I hope you continue to feel very well! Hugs http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Administrator Karma Posted February 23, 2013 Administrator Share Posted February 23, 2013 Hi Nikki I'm glad you were able to find some relief. You know when it is so consistently bad, sometimes we just need a break and we've got to do what we've got to do to get that relief. Been there, done that, own the t-shirt . Very happy to hear you are on the right antibiotic and I hope this is the last UTI you see! I agree with all the great advice to get stable and then consider the next move. Here is a Karma hug ... probably not as good as a Mom hug, but its the best I have. Karma 2007 @ 375 mg Effexor - 11/29/2011 - 43.75 mg Effexor (regular) & .625 mg Xanax 200 mg Gabapentin 2/27/21 - 194.5 mg, 5/28/21 - 183 mg, 8/2/21 - 170 mg, 11/28/21 - 150 mg, 4/19/22 - 122 mg; 8//7/22 - 100 mg; 12/17 - 75mg; 8/17 - 45 mg; 10/16 40 mg Xanax taper: 3/11/12 - 0.9375 mg, 3/25/12 - 0.875 mg, 4/6/12 - 0.8125 mg, 4/18/12 - 0.75 ; 10/16 40mg; 1/16 0.6875 mg; at some point 0.625 mg Effexor taper: 1/29/12 - 40.625 mg, 4/29/12 - 39.875 mg, 5/11/12 - Switched to liquid Effexor, 5/25/12 - 38 mg, 7/6/12 - 35 mg, 8/17/12 - 32 mg, 9/14/12 - 30 mg, 10/19/12 - 28 mg, 11/9/12 - 26 mg, 11/30/12 - 24 mg, 01/14/13 - 22 mg. 02/25/13 - 20.8 mg, 03/18/13 - 19.2 mg, 4/15/13 - 17.6 mg, 8/10/13 - 16.4 mg, 9/7/13 - 15.2 mg, 10/19/13 - 14 mg, 1/15/14 - 13.2 mg, 3/1/2014 - 12.6 mg, 5/4/14 - 12 mg, 8/1/14 - 11.4 mg, 8/29/14 - 10.8 mg; 10/14/14 - 10.2 mg; 12/15/14 - 10 mg, 1/11/15 - 9.5 mg, 2/8/15 - 9 mg, 3/21/15 - 8.5 mg, 5/1/15 - 8 mg, 6/9/15 - 7.5 mg, 7/8/15 - 7 mg, 8/22/15 - 6.5 mg, 10/4/15 - 6 mg; 1/1/16 - 5.6 mg; 2/6/16 - 5.2 mg; 4/9 - 4.8 mg; 7/7 4.5 mg; 10/7 4.25 mg; 11/4 4.0 mg; 11/25 3.8 mg; 4/24 3.6 mg; 5/27 3.4 mg; 7/8 3.2 mg ... 10/18 2.8 mg; 1/18 2.6 mg; 4/7 2.4 mg; 5/26 2.15mg; 8/18 1.85 mg; 10/7 1.7 mg; 12/1 1.45 mg; 3/2 1.2 mg; 5/4 0.90 mg; 6/1 0.80 mg; 6/22 0.65 mg; 08/03 0.50 mg, 08/10 0.45 mg, 10/05 0.325 mg, 11/23 0.2 mg, 12/14 0.15 mg, 12/21 0.125 mg, 02/28 0.03125 mg, 2/15 0.015625 mg, 2/29/20 0.00 mg - OFF Effexor I am not a medical professional - this is not medical advice. My suggestions are based on personal experience, reading, observation and anecdotal information posted by other sufferers Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted February 23, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 23, 2013 Hi Nikki, I've been there, too but I turned down the t-shirt, I woulda just used it for a sleep shirt, anyway.. You're gonna make it through this! You've given me hope when I felt hopeless, thank you for being there for me. I hope to be as good a friend to you. Love and hugs, T http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Nikki Posted February 24, 2013 Author Share Posted February 24, 2013 Hi everyone..... I don't want to go over the sleep-post. I don't want to carry bad feelings either. Resentments are like swallowing poison and hoping the other person dies. I am not going to get off AD's. This is a site for people who have or who are getting off AD's. The individual stories are very sad and for me very scary. I feel deeply for anyone going thru this type of hell. Been there. I think my own life and striking out on my own in business scares me every day. Trying to rise above it and get to a place of security and confidence. It's a daily task. The quandary is I want to help and support others, but I may need to focus on affirmations, meditations, books, activities and such to keep my own head above water. Strawberry asked me to think about it over the weekend. She's a doll. I've know her a long time. Soooo, I am going to try to stay off the site for awhile. If I log on, I will try to stay on this thread only with things that seem to help with 'whatever. (life). My default button is negativity. Need to change and emit a new frequency for me. Thank you so much for everything....Love you all in a special way. Something else. In the last few weeks I noticed a shift in responses to members who are in a bad way. I saw this happen on another website. It reminded me of that and I guess those uncomfortable feelings came up again. You are all in my prayers. I'll keep in touch just not to the degree I was. You were there in a pinch and I can't thank you enough... Hugs and more Huds Intro: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1902-nikki-hi-my-rundown-with-ads/ Paxil 1997-2004 Crossed over to Lexapro Paxil not available at Pharmacies GSK halted deliveries Lexapro 40mgs Lexapro taper (2years) Imipramine Imipramine and Celexa Now Nefazadone/Imipramine 50mgs. each 45mgs. Serzone 50mgs. Imipramine Link to comment
Meimeiquest Posted February 24, 2013 Share Posted February 24, 2013 Dear Nikki, You've probably read the Harm Reduction paper and know that it recommends approaching stopping meds with curiosity...just see what happens. One positive possible outcome he mentions is just having more confidence in your medication, being sure that you need it. It sounds like you've come to that place. I may well arrive at that place regarding lithium. I just want to wish you the very best and to thank you for the kindness you've shown me. Very best, Meimeiquest 1st round Prozac 1989/90, clear depression symptoms. 2nd round Prozac started 1999 when admitted to dr. I was tired. Prozac pooped out, switch to Cymbalta 3/2006. Diagnosed with bipolar disorder due to mania 6/2006--then I was taken abruptly off Cymbalta and didn't know I had SSRI withdrawal. Lots of meds for my intractable "bipolar" symptoms. Zyprexa started about 9/06, mostly 5mg. Tapered 4/12 through12/29/12 Wellbutrin. XL 300 mg started 1/07, tapered 1/18/13 through 7/8/13 Oxazepam mostly continuously since 6/06, 30mg since 12/12, tapered 1.17.14 through 8.26.15 11/06 Lithium 600mg twice daily, 2.2.14 400mg TID DIY liquid, 2.12.14 1150mg, 3.2.14 1100mg, 3.18.14 1075mg, 4/14 updose to 1100mg, 6.1.14 900 mg capsules 7.8.14 810mg, 8.17.14 725mg, 8.24.24 700mg...10.22.14 487.5mg, 3.9.15 475mg, 4.1.15 462.5mg 4.21.15 450mg 8.11.15 375mg, 11.28.15 362.5mg, back to 375mg four days later, 3.4.16 updose to 475 (too much going on to risk trouble) 9/4/13 Toprol-XL 25mg daily for sudden hypertension, tapered 11.12.13 through 5.3.14, last 10 days or so switched to atenolol 7.4.14 Started Walsh Protocol 56 years old Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus tezza Posted February 24, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 24, 2013 Dear Nikki, I've missed your early morning posts so much! You were always on early when I came on, I hope you'll reconsider what you said about not coming on very much. I kinda thought of you as my morning buddy! Your posts have always meant a LOT to me! You are in my prayers too and I'm not just saying that, it's true. Hugs and love, Tezza http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1644-tezza-risperdal-withdrawal/ Seroquel and Mirtazipine Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus strawberry17 Posted February 24, 2013 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 24, 2013 Nikki I'm glad you came to this conclusion, I think you made the sensible decision (and I really really didn't want to delete you). *** Please note this is not medical advice,discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner***http://prozacwithdrawal.blogspot.com/ Original drug was sertraline/Zoloft, switched to Prozac in 2007. Tapering from 5mls liquid prozac since Feb 2008, got down to 0.85ml 23/09/2012, reinstated back to 1ml(4mg) 07/11/2012, didn't appear to work, upped to 1.05ml 17/11/2012, back down to 1ml 12/12/2012 didn't work, up to 1.30ml 16/3/2013 didn't work, bumped up to 2ml (8mg) 4/4/2013 didn't work, in July 2013 I reinstated Sertraline (Zoloft) 50mg, feeling better now. A few months down the line I switched to 5ml liquid Prozac and tapered down to a compromise dose of 3ml liquid Prozac and have stayed there ever since, no withdrawals and no emotional blunting/loss of libido. Link to comment
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