JesusSavemefromWD: only 3.5 weeks sertraline enough to destroy me

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@Altostrata

Thanks

I stoped Zoloft on oct 26th at 4mg, I thought it is visible in my signature, isn’t it?  I think u might be right,,.. the brain off craziness feeling is probably a mix of some lingering DPDR, brain fog and inner crippling anxiety cause I can feel inside tremor without physically shaking. I sleep very well but If I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom those 5 -10 mins that I am still half asleep half awake I don’t feel this crazy like feeling. But if I stay up longer and get fully awake, within 30mins the crazy like feeling starts and stays till I sleep again. It’s like my brain doesn’t have the capacity to wake up and be fully alert. 
it is not anesthesia, I can feel all range of symptoms. 
Thank u all, I ll try to push through and I understand my response to Prozac cannot be predicted but if I continue feeling like this all day long every day I prefer to take the Prozac risk than the psychiatric yard and antipsychotic risk. 

[Altostrata]

16 hours ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

I continue feeling like this all day long every day I prefer to take the Prozac risk than the psychiatric yard and antipsychotic risk.

 

You have control over whether you seek psychiatric help.

 

Strongly recommend you focus on developing psychological coping strategies so you can separate your withdrawal symptoms from your beliefs about your mental health.

 

If you feel you must try Prozac, I would start with no more than 0.5mg.

[ChessieCat]

Also be aware of the following:

 

On 7/3/2011 at 4:11 AM, Altostrata said:

Prozac has the longest half-life of any SSRI. After you take it for a few days, half-life is about 16 days. Fluoxetine itself has a half-life of 2-4 days, but as it is processed, your body creates an active antidepressant metabolite, norfluoxetine, which has a half-life of 7-15 days. So Prozac keeps on extending its half-life as it is metabolized.

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fluoxetine , fluoxetine and norfluoxetine inhibit each other's metabolism, extending the half-life of the drug. Because the half-lives are so long, the full effect of Prozac on the brain may not be felt for several weeks.

fluoxetine (1-6 days) ---> norfluoxetine (up to 16 days) ---> other metabolites

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@ChessieCat

@Altostrata

yes that’s what worries me a lot about Prozac. In fact I have seen more bad reviews about Prozac than Zoloft. I have been debating between reinstaining 1 mg Zoloft or starting Prozac. Initially I was tilting towards reinstaining Zoloft but I know I felt horrific on it and I can only explain it by the fact I am a rapid metabolizer so I couldn’t achieve steady state blood stream levels . Others interpret it the opposite way saying if I am a rapid metabolizer a low dose shouldn’t have done nothing good or bad. But it did a lot of damage to me especially during the 3rd week. So I hesitate to retake Zoloft and hesitate to start Prozac as well .... I will preserve a bit longer anyways, praying to God for a clear window so I stay strong and get nothing. Thank u both 

[Jennings]

How have you been?  Hopefully doing better.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

Unfortunately, the last three weeks I ve been in pure hell of inner anxiety, soul dread/ache, depersonalization and visual issues , not to mention tinnitus and eye lid twitches. I have started low amounts of 5htp, it’s a natural aminoacid converted by the brain into serotonin, it’s been a week now , haven’t notice any huge changes other than my eye lid twitches have stopped, could be a coincidence. I am giving one more week and if no relief I ll take the risk of either reinstaining a small dose of Zoloft or taking low amounts of Prozac. This is way to much suffering 4 months in a row now. From ur posts I understand u also aren’t doing that good, I am sorry. I hate the 6 weeks wd lies as well... in fact in my case they told me I  would have wd for only a week since I was on the drug for just few weeks, and here I am 4 months later fighting every day between checking myself into a psychiatric yard, reinstaining or just take the suffering one more day and one more and one more .... 

[Jennings]

I hope this all works out for you.  Your posts were inspiring to me over the last couple months.  They really helped me in some dark moments.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

I had few days earlier in WD that I felt I was going to be ok. I am sorry I can’t say this anymore. Maybe things will change, maybe I ll get a window I don’t know. 
Would u mind answering a couple of questions for me?

1. I see from ur signature u reinstained lexapro after 6 months. Did u get relief after reinstaining? If yes how soon? I know each individual is different but just wondering if people who have been far out in wd can hope in reinstaining 

 

2. Did u feel ok while in lexapro or u had bad side effects?

 

Please don’t let my failure to heal get u down. I am an extremely rare case taking an AD for very short time, and suffering long term 

[Jennings]

I am off Lexapro now but reinstated the first time I tapered.  It took about 8 months for me to feel better.  
 

My anxiety was good on Lexapro but I had bad physical symptoms, weight gain, acid reflux, chest pain, too many more to count.  It was also messing with my liver and thyroid, which went back to normal when I came off.

[bijay]

 

1 hour ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

 I have started low amounts of 5htp, it’s a natural aminoacid converted by the brain into serotonin, it’s been a week now , haven’t notice any huge changes other than my eye lid twitches have stopped, could be a coincidence.

Saw your note about 5htp - I would bet the eye twitches stopping was not just a coincidence.  You may want to wait longer than 2 weeks to see  how it works - even with SSRi's it takes 4-6 weeks to feel the full effect.   I know you are suffering and this may be very hard, but it may be preferable to the risk of taking Zoloft or Prozac.       

[JesusSavemefromWD]

9 minutes ago, Jennings said:

I am off Lexapro now but reinstated the first time I tapered.  It took about 8 months for me to feel better.  
 

My anxiety was good on Lexapro but I had bad physical symptoms, weight gain, acid reflux, chest pain, too many more to count.  It was also messing with my liver and thyroid, which went back to normal when I came off.

8 months to feel better after restarting lexapro .... that’s no good.., makes reconsider restarting Zoloft... Did u also feel bad while tapering lexapro or ur nightmare started after jumping off?

thanks 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

3 minutes ago, bijay said:

 

Saw your note about 5htp - I would bet the eye twitches stopping was not just a coincidence.  You may want to wait longer than 2 weeks to see  how it works - even with SSRi's it takes 4-6 weeks to feel the full effect.   I know you are suffering and this may be very hard, but it may be preferable to the risk of taking Zoloft or Prozac.       

That’s exactly what I was thinking and decided to give 5htp a try... I was thinking better risk taking 5htp rather than Zoloft or Prozac. I am only taking 20-25mg per day. It’s been a week as I said and today I think I have a bit nausea (manageable) as I had on Zoloft but also I think I feel a bit more “present” (Dpdr makes u feel u do not exist) but I can’t be very sure. I saw many reports in the internet with people being successful quitting ADs using low amounts of 5htp, so I ll keep taking it for a couple more weeks to see if I can make this WD nightmare bearable but I can’t keep living with such extend suffering much longer. It was a mistake I didn’t reinstate earlier, I should have done it within the first two weeks that my suffering was above human limits but I thought it would pass. Thank u for writing and I hope ur feeling ok

 

[Jennings]

No tapering was easy, I had withdrawals but just pushed through them not knowing I would crash.

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

12 minutes ago, Jennings said:

No tapering was easy, I had withdrawals but just pushed through them not knowing I would crash.

 

 

I guess what I am asking is if u think if there was a low dose that u felt okish ..., I think I remember feeling okish at 6 mg but continued with tapering and crashed badly once I reached 5 mg and even worst when I stopped at 4mg jumping to zero. I wish now I had stayed in that dose but I was afraid I ll get more addicted the longer i stayed on this poison. I now greatly regret discontinuation 

[Jennings]

Yes I do too.  I should of gone much slower.

[ChessieCat]

47 minutes ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

decided to give 5htp a try... I was thinking better risk taking 5htp rather than Zoloft or Prozac. I am only taking 20-25mg per day. It’s been a week

 

Please add this information (with dates) to your drug signature.  Thank you.

 

Instructions:  Withdrawal History Signature

[JesusSavemefromWD]

I ache so much right now..... oh God can’t even find words to describe.... maybe I ll get a window in this inner soul ache (like a knife directly in ur soul) soon... haven’t had one for three weeks 🥺

[ChessieCat]

Please bold the drug names like you have cipralex so it is easier to see them - thanks:

 

August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY

August 28, 2020 sertraline:25mg -3&1/2weeks,tapering 4&1/2 weeks; last dose 4mg Oct 26th

March 1st: 20-25mg 5htp/day

[ChessieCat]

Please add the date and bold the drug name:

 

mild eye lid twitches stopped after a week of 20-25mg 5htp.

[ChessieCat]

@Lostinwonderland

 

You've posted in another member's topic. 

 

There is a vision topic here:

 

vision-symptoms-floaters-snow-blurreddimmed-vision-twitching-dry-eyes-and-pain

 

You could also do a site search in the introduction forum for "glare" or "halo" to find other members who mention the word.

 

[Crochet]

I am praying for you.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 minute ago, Crochet said:

I am praying for you.

Thank you, I really need it, I hurt so much I can’t even pray anymore 

[Crochet]

I'm so sorry.  I wish I could take your pain away.  You are not alone, even though it feels that way.

[bijay]

@JesusSavemefromWD I am so sorry you are going through this. For myself I have found that even just going through the motions can be helpful.  Maybe you don’t feel like you can pray, maybe not with the feeling it normally requires, but doing it anyway can have a positive effect.  All you have to do is say the words.  Even fake laughter changes body chemistry for the good (look up TED talks on laughter yoga).  These things are not cures, but withdrawal is all about coping, and buying time for your body to heal.

 

I will pray for you too.  Every little bit helps.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

You only die once ... but people in withdrawal die many times every day .... 

[Crochet]

This is true, and I hope you have some relief.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@Crochet

thanks for writing. I had a few hrs yesterday afternoon feeling a bit better (I don’t mean feeling good or even okish, I just mean not being in hell) but today I am back to hell. Although I think 5htp is slightly helping I am pretty sure I can’t keep doing this ... I ll soon take the risk of reinstaining. I was feeling bad on the drug but at least I was able to function. I wish I had never touched it , I was happy and super active before Zoloft I just had some chest tightness. I don’t blame myself but the doctors who so easily prescribed it, as well as people around me telling me not to worry and it is a good med that will help me. I should have trusted my instincts... I remember the first day taking this drug I said to myself ...”this is a mistake, ur going to regret this” and then said it’s ok just trust the doctors ... 

I hope ur doing better than me

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@Altostrata

hi, I am pretty sure I ll take the risk and go back to a tiny dose of Zoloft. It’s 4 months I am off and this hell is non stop with the exception of 50% improvement of DPDR. If I knew I ll be ok in a year I would preserve this hell but I doubt I will and then it ll be really late for reinstaining (maybe it’s already late at 4 months off). My question to u is this: it’s clear my brain got used to Zoloft 25mg within few weeks and couldn’t handle jumping off at 4mg following 4 weeks tapering. Assuming restarting Zoloft at a low dose of 1mg works , and I increase slowly and stabilize at a low dose let’s say 4-5 mg staying there for months, will I ever be able to completely quit even at an extremely low tapering rate? I mean if I was in it for few weeks and couldn’t handle stopping it, would I ever be able to quite after months on a low dose? I know there are no definite answers but was wondering if this is smg other members have accomplished... reinstaining, stabilizing, and one day completely quitting. 
thank you 

[Crochet]

Hi JesusSaveme,

 

Today is a better day than the last three days.  I need to force myself to get some groceries.

 

I've been thinking a lot about the past and why I decided to take the meds.  Therapists (not medical doctors) encouraged me to take meds at 36 years old and I chose to listen.  I even pursued meds with my primary.  I've never seen a psychiatrist and through the years, doctors have simply checked in to make sure I'm not depressed or anxious regarding my AD.  And I lived in a happy little bubble not realizing the ramifications.

 

I was really active, too.  I'm trying to think of this as just being 'sick.' And this works, until the mental components of the sickness go haywire.

 

We are in such a weird/awful/surreal situation and it's hard to come to terms with everything.  Let's get through this, we can.

 

Take care,
Crochet

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

4&1/2 months off Zoloft 

I am getting worst and worst, and windows are basically absent. 

- depersonalization mixed with a brain numb/weird dizziness/feeling I have lost my brain/crazy/paranoia 

- all day crippling inner fear for no reason

- excruciating soul dread/inner ache to the point I moan like a wounded animal most part of the day 

- intense tinnitus but I can handle this symptom 

I can’t continue like this all day long every day, I only get relief when I sleep (I sleep good since the 2nd month of my WD).

Please advice @Altostrata, @ChessieCat, @brassmonkey  and 
other moderators which of the following would u do u were me (two options given by my new doctor who does believe it’s WD, but told her I can’t take it anymore )

1. Go back to 1mg Zoloft and slowly increase to 5mg if I don’t get relief at 1mg. I felt bad on it but on lower doses I think I remember not feeling that bad. She thinks is more likely to help me with the WD symptoms but she is afraid I will never be able to go off it in the future no matter how slow i taper (based on my severe WD after just 3&1/2 weeks of use and 4 &1/2 weeks tapering)

or

2. start 1mg Prozac . She thinks it’s risky introducing another drug but it is possible it has less side effects than Zoloft and if it works to relief Zoloft WD is more likely i will be able to come of it in the future.

 

Please advice, I can’t do this any longer, the suffering is too much. I know u can’t decide for me, but I am asking what would u do if u were me, based on your experience with other members here. Keep going like this is impossible. I have started 5htp (20mg/day) last two weeks; eye lid twitches as well as face numbing is almost gone, but no improvement on mental symptoms. 

[Altostrata]

I think maybe we've been through this discussion before? Please review your Intro thread.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@Altostrata

we have discussed it but I don’t think there was any clear conclusion. I understand u generally suggest going back to the same drug (Zoloft in my case) but I think my doctor made a good point about not being able to quit ever in the future. In addition, I was not feeling as bad as now while on Zoloft, but I did have a lot of bad side effects . So , I was wondering if it is less risky trying to relieve my current symptoms with Prozac which might not have as bad side effects as Zoloft for me and might be easier to quit in the future due to its long half life. Switching to Prozac is also suggested in the withdrawal section of this site. What would  u do if u were me?
thank you

[Altostrata]

What were the adverse effects of Zoloft, and at what dosage?

 

Usually a lower dose means lower adverse effects. 

 

If you prefer your doctor's advice, by all means follow it. Please confer with them if you do not get the results you want.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@Altostrata

thanks again. My doctor agrees with all of us here that this is WD, and she gave me to options to choose. I don’t seem to be able to quit Zoloft after just few weeks on it, so my doctor worries that going back to Zoloft might relief WD but I might never be able to quit Zoloft no matter how slow tapering. I find her concern logic.
The 3-4 weeks I was on 25mg Zoloft, I experienced

- 2-3 times during the 3-4 weeks, out of my body experience lasting for few hrs/feeling I am loosing my mind / screaming loudly to my husband help help i lost my mind. Different feeling from the Dpdr 

-very dry eyes, a bit swollen 

- inner fear on and off during the day 

- a couple of panic attacks 

- spaced out, brain fog but not constant .

when I started tapering (tapered for 4&1/2 weeks) every 5 mg I would drop, I experienced for 4-6 days 

- severe DPDR few hrs per day 

- fear/panic 

- some days eyes not focusing properly 

-light tinnitus for few minutes

 

4-6 days after of each drop things seemed to get better and I continued tapering. 

Once I dropped below 6 mg hell started (about 5 months ago); i have had constant non stop 

-severe DPDR

improved around 2 months off the drug and keeps improving every 3 weeks I think but still way from normal.

- crazy like feeling, like my brain is numb, vacant, dissociated from my body ; this feeling keeps getting worst, it’s like the crazy feeling I had 2-3 times during the three weeks on Zoloft.

-vision issues, eyes don’t focus properly , my face image in the mirror doesn’t form properly; very slight improvement 

- intense tinnitus ; getting worst 

- constant inner fear/terror, getting worst and worst after 3rd month off Zoloft 

- soul despair/ ache, like literally a knife in my soul Getting worst and worst, after the 3rd month OFF Zoloft

- eye lid twitches, crawling sensations in head, face, legs; have stopped about two weeks ago.

I realize it sounds like I am improving but overall I am getting worst because the more the DPDR improves the worst the inner terror and soul dread (to the point I can’t even stand on my feet, every time I try to walk or do smg in the house I moan like a wounded animal, without having any physical pain). It’s like my brain uses all serotonin to recover from DPDR and there is none left for regulating emotions ...I don’t know how else to explain it. Even my doctor tells me to try to take nothing but I swear to God this torture is beyond words. I suffer to the point that I prefer to die than live like this. 
Sorry for the long reply, I am hopeless... I was thinking maybe 1 mg of Zoloft could relief this inner dread and terror ... but I am afraid in the future quitting Zoloft will be impossible. Zoloft targets dopamine receptors along with serotonin auto receptors, so some of the WD symptoms I have are similar to cocaine addicts like the fear . Prozac doesn’t target the dopamine receptors so maybe i would have less side effects ?? I don’t know ... this is a nightmare i would never have imagined following 4 weeks on zoloft

thank you very much 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@Altostrata

I kept thinking and thinking between Zoloft and Prozac and I decided Zoloft. It seems like more members had hard time changing drugs and I also read somewhere that Zoloft is more selective compared to Prozac (Zoloft targeting only one subtype of serotonin receptors) and thus expected to have less side effects. So I will not risk switching, which agrees to what you have been suggesting to me from the beginning. My only question now is if  1mg of Zoloft will stabilize me and if I will ever be able to quit in the future. I guess will just have to see.

also , I found a few other people describing this “ I am losing it” feeling after starting SSRIs and they rushed to the hospital where they were diagnosed with serotonin syndrome. I am not sure if I experienced serotonin syndrome as i didn’t go to the hospital to confirm it, but really did feel like I lost my mind and left this world .

[Altostrata]

To be absolutely honest, you lost me somewhere back in your ruminations. I've given you my best guess. You might read back and see if you can find it. Otherwise, do what you think is best.

 

If you prefer to follow your doctor's advice, I'd be more than happy if you followed up with him or her.