JesusSavemefromWD: only 3.5 weeks sertraline enough to destroy me

[DaBro]

@JesusSavemefromWD  I read your introductory post again. It seems you had anxiety and panic attacks so went on Sertraline. The anxiety calmed but physical and emotional symptoms started even before tapering. 

 

We know that that the story we are told about our original condition returning is a lie. Your original condition was tight chest and panic attacks, not depersonalisation and emotional issues. 

 

I know in WD it’s hard to think rationally. I’ve been there too. It seems you have been really unfortunate in getting severe WD after such short exposure to SSRIs. 

 

From the outside it seems you’re trying to choose between Prozac, Sertraline or nothing to ‘fix things’. From all the stories I’ve read I think the answer may be that none of them are a magic solution and time and patience are the only proven answer. 

 

I’m not a doctor or admin so I’m giving an opinion not advice. I just know how badly I was looking for a magic solution in my darkest times too. I’ve got a drawer full of (ineffective) supplements to prove it. Your twitches and facial numbing going is perhaps a good sign that healing is happening, albeit slowly. 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@DaBro

thank you for reading. I only had chest tightness before Zoloft, not even panic attacks.

There is no question all current symptoms are adverse side effects from taking Zoloft, which become 1000x worst after quitting. I am looking into reinstating Zoloft in the hopes of alleviating WD symptoms, and later quitting extremely slowly. I am not at all thinking I have recurrence of my previous symptoms, I had none of these symptoms ever before. Even my current doctor agrees Zoloft is the cause of all these and for some reason my brain couldn’t handle quitting it. I know (and my new doctor encourages that choice) the best thing is to take nothing but the suffering is way to much from the moment I get out of bed till I sleep again. No windows either for the last 5 weeks. I am trying to stay strong and positive thinking that my eye twitching and face numbing have left me, and there is clear improvement in DPDR but the other symptoms have increased to the point that I hurt inside and I am in fear all day long . Can’t do anything other than suffering and looking at the walls. I ll try to tough it out a bit more but maybe reinstating a small amount would help this endless suffering. No one can really predict.

Thank u again for ur message and I hope u ve been out of this nightmare. 

[DaBro]

Good luck with your choice. Glad your doctor accepts WD. Mine does too (now). Long walks helped me through the worst- I remember a 5-6 week long wave last Easter. Horrible.

 

26 months was a turning point for me when sleep stabilised and TD and emotional symptoms stopped. Currently at 29 months and hope to be in the success stories soon. 

[Colonial]

There is no question all current symptoms are adverse side effects from taking Zoloft.

 

 Even my current doctor agrees Zoloft is the cause of all these and for some reason my brain couldn’t handle quitting it. I know...... new doctor encourages....the best thing is to take nothing.

 

(August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY)

 

Posted October 24, 2020 (Gridley): You have had an adverse reaction to the Zoloft, which means the drug was poison to your system. The symptoms of an adverse reaction are similar to those of withdrawal, and the symptoms you describe are typical of adverse reaction/withdrawal. Stop taking it now.  The drug is poison to your system.  The symptoms you're feeling are from the adverse reaction to the drug, not withdrawal.  If you've only been taking the drug 3 1/2 weeks, it hasn't gotten its hooks into you yet (that happens after a month or more of taking a psychiatric drug)."

 

It is not unusual for a person who has had one adverse reaction to one psych med to have another.

Since you had the reaction to Cipralex, a pattern is forming.

Starting a 3rd, Prozac is going to carry as much high risk.

 

The question always is separating what may be legitimate WD symptoms from a lingering Adverse reaction.

 

When issues are likely "Just" WD, Reinstatement may or may not be helpful if done early on.

But even then, For some people reinstatement is not all that helpful unfortunately.

 

But when a history of adverse reactions while still ON the med occur, (cipralex and now zoloft) reinstatement carries more risk, even at smaller amounts.

 

Going back to a med that provoked an adverse reaction, or even trying a 3rd (Prozac) while still experiencing the adverse reaction can exacerbate the healing process. After 4 months reinstatement for even legitimate WD symptoms tends to not give significant help. 

 

When symptoms change, it's a sign of moving further on in the healing process.

I also concur with your doctor's theory that the best thing to do at this point is to not take anything.

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@Colonial

thank you for the message. 

we all agree it’s Zoloft causing this and is best  not to take anything but my suffering is getting worst and worst ... I don’t know how much longer I can carry on... definitely not for years...

Given that symptoms became a lot worst after quitting 5mg, I  am thinking there is WD along with adverse reaction. When I was at lower doses I didn’t feel that bad ... I have the Zoloft in my hands and keep looking at it, to take it or not to take it?? It’s a no for today but not sure how much longer I can . It’s now almost 5 months I am off. Reinstating is risky but current suffering is extremely bad with no windows for last 6 weeks. There is no way to predict what is the best way to go ahead , what I know is how much it hurts right now and my brain is numb/paranoid despite reduction of DPDR. I do agree Prozac will make things more complicated, since two ssris had hard side effects making me crazy at the so called therapeutic dose, so I have finally eliminated Prozac as an option. But it seems like adverse side effects are dose dependent, so maybe 1 mg Zoloft would alleviate WD without causing much problem. ....

[Colonial]

10 minutes ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

Given that symptoms became a lot worst after quitting 5mg, I  am thinking there is WD along with adverse reaction. When I was at lower doses I didn’t feel that bad ..

 

Assigning causality is always difficult in these issues, especially when the dosing time frame was around 25 days total.  WD cannot be ruled it entirely, but it is just as true to say that what may seem as WD could be part of the Adverse Reaction already in progress and building up that just did not fully manifest until after you lowered the med.  Considering the timing of the symptoms it is just as likely they were part of the overall Adverse affect.

 

Symptoms from adverse reactions can continue to come and vary in intensity after the med is stopped. This pattern is easier to spot with drugs that do not cause WD.  For example, I had some new and more aggressive symptoms to my adverse reaction to an antibiotic AFTER I had stopped taking it. It's like drugs with a very long half life, you may stop them, but once they are in your system, it takes time for everything to play out.   

 

So while WD may be a part of the equation, it may not be, and the ratio of risk- reward of retaking a med or family of meds that are known problematic for you in the hope of some relief 5 months out does seem slim compared to the higher risk. 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

33 minutes ago, Colonial said:

 

Assigning causality is always difficult in these issues, especially when the dosing time frame was around 25 days total.  WD cannot be ruled it entirely, but it is just as true to say that what may seem as WD could be part of the Adverse Reaction already in progress and building up that just did not fully manifest until after you lowered the med.  Considering the timing of the symptoms it is just as likely they were part of the overall Adverse affect.

 

Symptoms from adverse reactions can continue to come and vary in intensity after the med is stopped. This pattern is easier to spot with drugs that do not cause WD.  For example, I had some new and more aggressive symptoms to my adverse reaction to an antibiotic AFTER I had stopped taking it. It's like drugs with a very long half life, you may stop them, but once they are in your system, it takes time for everything to play out.   

 

So while WD may be a part of the equation, it may not be, and the ratio of risk- reward of retaking a med or family of meds that are known problematic for you in the hope of some relief 5 months out does seem slim compared to the higher risk. 

I understand, can’t be sure if I suffer pure ADVERSE reaction or/plus WD. Slim hopes of reinstating to help makes me feel even more hopeless because there is no way I can take this suffering for couple of years as predicted to be the time frame for recovery from ADVERSE reaction. Taking into account the extreme suffering the last 5 months, I regret not reinstating early in the WD process. I will keep pushing and pushing through but I am afraid all I will end up doing is just giving up one day and reinstating at a longer time, decreasing further my slim possibility of reinstating to help. Well, it is what is, I don’t see a way out of this at the moment. Every day I just lay down in bed looking at the walls hurting non stop till time comes for me to sleep again and get relief. I had some improvements around 2&1/2 months off the drug and then became worst and worst ....

[Melany]

You are not alone, hang in there my friend! We'll get through this. 

[ChessieCat]

4 hours ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

no windows for last 6 weeks.

 

BUT you HAVE had windows during the 5 months of being off.

 

Q:  Are you still taking 5-htp?

 

If yes, it may have turned paradoxical on you.  This is something which other members taking various supplements have had happen to them.  At first it seems to help and then things change and worsen.

[ChessieCat]

3 hours ago, JesusSavemefromWD said:

because there is no way I can take this suffering for couple of years as predicted to be the time frame for recovery from ADVERSE reaction.

 

This time frame is NOT a definite and even if it takes 2 years I doubt that the suffering would be consistently bad for all of that time.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

 

BUT you HAVE had windows during the 5 months of being off.

 

Q:  Are you still taking 5-htp?

 

If yes, it may have turned paradoxical on you.  This is something which other members taking various supplements have had happen to them.  At first it seems to help and then things change and worsen.

Just a couple of windows feeling a bit better but never feeling nearly ok. I only took 5htp for 2 weeks, I didn’t want to get used to it. I have been feeling horrific before staring 5htp. Thanks 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 hour ago, ChessieCat said:

 

This time frame is NOT a definite and even if it takes 2 years I doubt that the suffering would be consistently bad for all of that time.

That’s good to hear. On the other hand I am 5 months off and feeling in pure hell , doesn’t seem very encouraging  to me. I am going to sleep now... I ll get complete relief for 9 hrs .... the torture will resume again tomorrow 

[ChessieCat]

Be thankful for small mercies.  Being able to sleep is a real blessing.

[Altostrata]

Obviously, my opinion counts for nothing to you, so I'll have to ask you not to tag me again, @JesusSavemefromWD It seems perfectly clear you want to go on an antidepressant. As this is a site for going off drugs, I have to ask you to continue your discussions about which drug to take with your doctor, not here.

 

Thank you.

[Ebee12058]

On 3/15/2021 at 4:21 PM, Colonial said:

There is no question all current symptoms are adverse side effects from taking Zoloft.

 

 Even my current doctor agrees Zoloft is the cause of all these and for some reason my brain couldn’t handle quitting it. I know...... new doctor encourages....the best thing is to take nothing.

 

(August 15,16 cipralex:went CRAZY)

 

Posted October 24, 2020 (Gridley): You have had an adverse reaction to the Zoloft, which means the drug was poison to your system. The symptoms of an adverse reaction are similar to those of withdrawal, and the symptoms you describe are typical of adverse reaction/withdrawal. Stop taking it now.  The drug is poison to your system.  The symptoms you're feeling are from the adverse reaction to the drug, not withdrawal.  If you've only been taking the drug 3 1/2 weeks, it hasn't gotten its hooks into you yet (that happens after a month or more of taking a psychiatric drug)."

 

It is not unusual for a person who has had one adverse reaction to one psych med to have another.

Since you had the reaction to Cipralex, a pattern is forming.

Starting a 3rd, Prozac is going to carry as much high risk.

 

The question always is separating what may be legitimate WD symptoms from a lingering Adverse reaction.

 

When issues are likely "Just" WD, Reinstatement may or may not be helpful if done early on.

But even then, For some people reinstatement is not all that helpful unfortunately.

 

But when a history of adverse reactions while still ON the med occur, (cipralex and now zoloft) reinstatement carries more risk, even at smaller amounts.

 

Going back to a med that provoked an adverse reaction, or even trying a 3rd (Prozac) while still experiencing the adverse reaction can exacerbate the healing process. After 4 months reinstatement for even legitimate WD symptoms tends to not give significant help. 

 

When symptoms change, it's a sign of moving further on in the healing process.

I also concur with your doctor's theory that the best thing to do at this point is to not take anything.

 

 

 

Hi Colonial, I have severe Anhedonia (the inability to feel positive emotions) when I take any SSRI or drug that affects my Seretonin. I stopped & started lexipro for years bc of this, & recently buspar bc they said it is uncommon for this to happen on buspirone (but of course it did), but then would restart bc of what I know now, were WD symptoms that I thought was just me being anxious or agitated or depressed. I'm 7 weeks post very quick taper (1 month) off of buspirone & experiencing debilitating anxiety, depression, Anhedonia,  extreme light sensitivity, & early waking. I'm considering reinstatement, but would experience severe Anhedonia (w/drawl Anhedonia less severe & not constant) if I do so. I'm wondering if you also think Anhedonia is an adverse reaction & I should not reinstate? The thing with the Anhedonia is that it only started in the last 8 year's, & got progressively worse each time I started & stopped Lexipro. I was on Lexipro on & off since 2004 until Oct 2019. (I know now many of my problems are from doing this, & deeply, deeply regret doing so. But there's nothing I can do about it now). Please let me know your thoughts. I feel no matter which way I turn, whether tapering or continuing with wd, I am going to suffer. 😞

[Colonial]

@JesusSavemefromWD

 

Happy Easter this Sunday!!! ☦️

[JesusSavemefromWD]

Today marks 9 months since my last dose of Zoloft (25mg for 3.5 weeks, tapering to zero for 4.5 weeks). Unfortunately my suffering has remained the same, depersonalization , inner akathisia, soul penetrating ache and dread (many days moaning like a wounded animal), numb brain, can’t do anything not even watch TV, hard to follow a simple conversation with my husband or kids, vision issues, shoulder/arm ache as well. Overall bedridden/housebound and suffering non stop. I am not getting any windows but some nights there is 5-10% reduction of symptoms after 10 pm. I am still sleeping well but can’t seem to think i can keep going like this every day much longer. I understand at 9 months off reinstating is very risky but what choice do I have at this point? I really can’t do this much longer … I d love to hear from short term AD users who recovered after prolong suffering like mine. 
Praying for all AD sufferers.., this is unfair and unnecessary suffering. 
HOW MANY MORE LIFES HAVE TO BE DESTROYED BEFORE DOCTORS and PHARMACEUTICAL COMPANIES GET THE MESSAGE?

[bijay]

@JesusSavemefromWD  I just wanted to acknowledge your last post and let you know that I am thinking about you, hoping that you can continue on and start to heal despite all the obstacles.  At least the small improvement of symptoms at night is a change in the right direction.

 

Keep in mind that users who recover are probably not on this forum much, if at all.  It is probably a part of their life that they prefer to leave behind.  The success stories written about here may not reflect your experience with short-term use, but understanding how far people can come (regardless of how they got there) can maybe provide some inspiration.

 

I think it goes far beyond the pharmaceutical companies.  Our doctors are treating patients like chemistry experiments, trying drug after drug (mostly off-label) for problems they don't properly diagnose or understand; we often pay for it with side effects that are treated with even more drugs.  Those of us who may be particularly sensitive are the collateral damage.

   

 

   

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@bijay thank you for the acknowledgement… I just don’t know how much more I can endure this suffering… As time progresses I am loosing hope of any kind of normal life. 
3.5 weeks of Zoloft took everything from me… my family my job, my friends , my ability to even function inside the house. I can’t even take care of my kids and decided to send them to Greece for two summer months with their grandmother so they can have a good time there to a house next to the beach. I ve never been separated from them before and it hurts but I prefer that than having them here with me watching me suffering and not even understanding why. So out of desperation I wonder every day if a low dose of Prozac could help me get back on my feet but I know the answer… too risky at this point.

I hope ur at a better place than me.

[bijay]

@JesusSavemefromWD  It is great you were able to have your kids be with their grandmother for the summer.  You are a good mom to make that sacrifice, as I know being away from them can be hard.

 

I would say I am in a different place, not better.  My symptoms are mostly physical, as this whole drug withdrawal process/drug side effects has shredded my digestive system.

 

I think you are right about the Prozac, given your reaction to the other SSRI's.  Doing things out of desperation never work, from my experience.

 

 

 

 

 

 

    

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

@bijay

sorry to hear ur still suffering…… it’s unbelievable what these poisons can do to people . I hope and pray one day we heal…. 

[JesusSavemefromWD]

At 9&1/2 months off new symptoms are emerging …. Severe depression, ruminating thoughts and fatigue to the point it’s hard to even take a shower 

never ever had these issues in my life…

For God’s shake , I only took a low dose for few weeks, how much more of this suffering? 

[Fromthenetherlands]

So sorry for you. It is horrible what these drugs do. Stay strong you will eventually get better. 

[Cage190]

On 8/8/2021 at 12:26 AM, JesusSavemefromWD said:

At 9&1/2 months off new symptoms are emerging …. Severe depression, ruminating thoughts and fatigue to the point it’s hard to even take a shower 

never ever had these issues in my life…

For God’s shake , I only took a low dose for few weeks, how much more of this suffering? 

 

Hey, I want to make clear the truth that I'm just a begginer. Before me, please take in much more consideration altostrata's, colonial's and chessiecat's opinions before mine. But in my humble opinion (and probably wrong) I believe that what you suffered at the beggining was the tolerance period (the first time in which your drug enters your boy and interacts with the nervous system). Usually this period lasts between 4-8 weeks to vanish. Sometimes people do not start with 25 mg (that's pretty strong) but with much more smaller doses (like 12.5 mg or 6.75) and they increase later. 

 

I believe that you're still suffering from withdrawal because your withdrawal was too fast, and it got overlaped with the tolerance period. I sincerely do not believe antidepressants are addictive, but people do too fast withdrawals that their nervous systems cannot handle. 

 

After 4 years of Zoloft cold turkey, and still suffering, the past April I reinstate Zoloft (1/4 of the original dose). Best thing I could ever made. 4 months later, every day I'm getting better, and better, and better. It's never too late. For what I've seen, an a considerable amount of people improve when they reinstate. Maybe it's your case. Hope it. 

 

If I were you, I would reinstate at a lowest dose (maybe 2.5/3mg) to see what else. And wait. Maybe you developed and a adverse reaction to sertraline (zoloft). Maybe another antidepressant could help you. If I were you, I would search the best psychiatrist in my state and ask council from him. An a good psychiatrist, that kind that listens to you, that invests part of his time thinking in the best possible treatment despite their economic interest. Psychiatrist are maybe the brightest physicians, and more in your country, Canada, where like the States, it's so hard to become a psychiatrist. Every day, they see the most difficult cases you can possible imagine in hospitals and they do the best job with optimal results. 

 

Hope for you the better, 

 

DavidPT

[JesusSavemefromWD]

1 hour ago, Fromthenetherlands said:

So sorry for you. It is horrible what these drugs do. Stay strong you will eventually get better. 

@Fromthenetherlands

thank you for writing in my thread .., unfortunately I am not doing well at all …. I wasn’t expecting such long and constant suffering after just few weeks on a low dose. Can’t change the past but I feel I have to do smg cause I am at the end of my rope … Some symptoms are just way too much to live through … depersonalization and akathisia together is simply hell …. sorry for the bad news . I read ur thread and I can see ur doing better, keep up the good work, it looks to me like ur healing …

[Fromthenetherlands]

@JesusSavemefromWD

 

Stay strong. It wil eventually get better. My prayers are with you.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

55 minutes ago, DavidPT said:

 

Hey, I want to make clear the truth that I'm just a begginer. Before me, please take in much more consideration altostrata's, colonial's and chessiecat's opinions before mine. But in my humble opinion (and probably wrong) I believe that what you suffered at the beggining was the tolerance period (the first time in which your drug enters your boy and interacts with the nervous system). Usually this period lasts between 4-8 weeks to vanish. Sometimes people do not start with 25 mg (that's pretty strong) but with much more smaller doses (like 12.5 mg or 6.75) and they increase later. 

 

I believe that you're still suffering from withdrawal because your withdrawal was too fast, and it got overlaped with the tolerance period. I sincerely do not believe antidepressants are addictive, but people do too fast withdrawals that their nervous systems cannot handle. 

 

After 4 years of Zoloft cold turkey, and still suffering, the past April I reinstate Zoloft (1/4 of the original dose). Best thing I could ever made. 4 months later, every day I'm getting better, and better, and better. It's never too late. For what I've seen, an a considerable amount of people improve when they reinstate. Maybe it's your case. Hope it. 

 

If I were you, I would reinstate at a lowest dose (maybe 2.5/3mg) to see what else. And wait. Maybe you developed and a adverse reaction to sertraline (zoloft). Maybe another antidepressant could help you. If I were you, I would search the best psychiatrist in my state and ask council from him. An a good psychiatrist, that kind that listens to you, that invests part of his time thinking in the best possible treatment despite their economic interest. Psychiatrist are maybe the brightest physicians, and more in your country, Canada, where like the States, it's so hard to become a psychiatrist. Every day, they see the most difficult cases you can possible imagine in hospitals and they do the best job with optimal results. 

 

Hope for you the better, 

 

DavidPT

@davitPT

thanks for ur advice. There is not a single day that I haven’t thought of going back to Zoloft or starting low dose of Prozac. But I am too scared to do … there are people here who had a good experience reinstating but others became much worst so it is a gamble. I agree with u I suffered from both start up effects and withdrawal (although I did taper for 4.5 weeks after being on it for just 3.5 weeks). But I disagree with u on antidepressants not being addictive … if someone takes a pill for some time and cannot function after stopping , then I call this addiction. Most scientifically appropriate term seems to be dependence, but no, I call it addiction if I was fine and now cannot function without it. I also don’t think Pdocs are smart, most of them only reproduced what pharmaceutical companies tell them. Thankfully my current Pdoc is one who listens and given that I never had such symptoms before zoloft she agrees it is the cause of my problems and has given me three choices: 1. give it more time (I don’t think I can do it much longer) , 2. Try a low dose of Prozac … maybe smg was not compatible with me and Zoloft and 3. Reinstate a low dose of Zoloft, so basically is what ur suggesting as well.

I have few questions for u if u don’t mind (I can’t believe u quit after just 30 days and suffering for 4 years)

1. During these 4 years did u see any improvements at all?

2. You mention ur feeling better after reinstating (so happy for u) but I see ur akathisia is still there. Mine is life threatening I don’t get peace of mind at all , so I just wonder how come u can feel better when akathisia is still there?

3. Did u suffer initial side effects when u restarted Zoloft? 
4. does ur current Pdoc think you ll be able to stabilize and safely withdraw at some point and be back to normal, or u ll have to stay on Zoloft for life? My current Pdoc is afraid that if I go back on Zoloft or start Prozac I might not be able to ever come of it, given how much I suffer just discontinuing a short time/low dose 
 

thank you for your time and I hope u keep feeling better

[JesusSavemefromWD]

15 minutes ago, Fromthenetherlands said:

@JesusSavemefromWD

 

Stay strong. It wil eventually get better. My prayers are with you.

I hope ur right. I don’t care I lost my job, friends, social life, physical stamina due to Zoloft … all I care is to be able to be a mother again to my two boys. As more time goes by and I don’t have even an hour of peace , I have to admit i am loosing hope. However, I have had tiny improvements, it is clear I had, but not to the point that I can function a bit…. I think if we had a deadline on when this suffering will stop, it would be easier to endure it. If I ever get out of this I have specific plans in mind to promote awareness of the deadly side effects of ADs (really I mean it deadly, ADs can physically or mentally kill a person …In my case is a mental death for now). As a neuroscientist I know the theory about brain”s plasticity is true and I still hope for mine to do it’s job although as I said loosing hope 10 months in this process. But can’t blame me for loosing hope; it is only normal human response to constant inhuman suffering…. 

[Cage190]

1. Yes and no. I certainly improved in different areas, but only by a 10-15% (of the 100% until this day). The other 90-85% has been due to mindfulness (in two years, I have practised 2000 hours), yoga, and a supplement I took 3 weeks (that saved my life). 

 

2. Akathisia usually only appears (as a side effect) when you are taking the drug. Once the drug is off, the akathisia caused by the drug disappears. If you're still suffering akathisia, it's due by a 99.999% to an a rapid withdrawal (in my opinion). I still suffer from akathisia, but I can feel how is vanishing every day, in a very slow manner, specially this last month, the fourth. Akathisia usually triggers violent and suicidal thoughts (both suffered). In my case, this fourth month I've experienced an a strong improvement in violent thoughts/anger (which I suppose it means akathisia is getting mild also). But you've to keep in mind that all this feelings are vague and completely subjective. Maybe I'm incorrect. 

 

3. Yes. I started Zoloft at 50 mg. Pure hell. Insomnia, absolute loss of appetite, day nightmares, panic attacks, strong cognitive deficits, mild suicidal ideation. Disappeared in one and a half weeks. 

 

Feb 17: Took Zoloft 15 days. Pure hell, stopped CT due to side effects. Side effects lasted until hypomania appears. 

March: after one week stopped CT, I suffered mild hypomania. I was feeling fantastic, perfect, super creative, super smart.

April 17: I suffered a brain collapse due to initial CT. Mild psychosis. Hypomania has gone.

May 17: got kind of worse.

June 17: feeling better, but my brain was kind of impaired. It was hard for me to speak fluenty or read difficult topics.

July 17: restarted Zoloft 50 mg. All my cognitive problems due to CT disappeared in just a week (there was no more tolerance period, in this reinstate 0 days of tolerance period). I was feeling better and better, maybe too much. Got scared. I remember suffering an a side effect (something completely banal) but something that scared me enough (probably it was due to an a side effect, or some kind of kindling due to the previous cold turkey interruption). And then all the history is at my post.

 

4. Absolutely yes. But, in my case, slowly, extremely slowly. Here they recommend the 10% tapper. But probably I'm going to do the 5% or 2.5%. 

 

And anyway, if for some reason I would need the drug my whole life, I would take it without any dubt. Of course it has side effects, there's emotional blunting, or sex troubles. But, well managed by a good psychiatrist, they help much more than they worse things (remember, that's my opinion, always subjective). 

 

You need to think that, here, we're relatively alone. This forum peer to peer based is really helpful, you're going to find really key information that maybe in Mayo Clinic or Harvard Hospitals are incapable to give to you. But keep in mind, that psychiatry is composed by hundreds and hundreds of psychiatrists, neuroscientists, world class researchers that they're doing their best job. An a whole pharmaceutical industry, the best universities with the best minds are working everyday, to get closer to the root of the disease, to the perfect medicine, to the perfect molecule, to the perfect treatment. I believe that except a few cases in which evil psychiatrists they've broken the hypocratic oath, and commit a negligent practice, finding and trusting an a good psychiatrist is priceless. 

 

For me it's a truly honour to help you. A real pleasure. 

 

Hope you the best, 

 

DavidPT

[Cage190]

On 8/15/2021 at 2:11 PM, JesusSavemefromWD said:

@Cage190

thanks for ur advice. There is not a single day that I haven’t thought of going back to Zoloft or starting low dose of Prozac. But I am too scared to do … there are people here who had a good experience reinstating but others became much worst so it is a gamble. I agree with u I suffered from both start up effects and withdrawal (although I did taper for 4.5 weeks after being on it for just 3.5 weeks). But I disagree with u on antidepressants not being addictive … if someone takes a pill for some time and cannot function after stopping , then I call this addiction. Most scientifically appropriate term seems to be dependence, but no, I call it addiction if I was fine and now cannot function without it. I also don’t think Pdocs are smart, most of them only reproduced what pharmaceutical companies tell them. Thankfully my current Pdoc is one who listens and given that I never had such symptoms before zoloft she agrees it is the cause of my problems and has given me three choices: 1. give it more time (I don’t think I can do it much longer) , 2. Try a low dose of Prozac … maybe smg was not compatible with me and Zoloft and 3. Reinstate a low dose of Zoloft, so basically is what ur suggesting as well.

I have few questions for u if u don’t mind (I can’t believe u quit after just 30 days and suffering for 4 years)

1. During these 4 years did u see any improvements at all?

2. You mention ur feeling better after reinstating (so happy for u) but I see ur akathisia is still there. Mine is life threatening I don’t get peace of mind at all , so I just wonder how come u can feel better when akathisia is still there?

3. Did u suffer initial side effects when u restarted Zoloft? 
4. does ur current Pdoc think you ll be able to stabilize and safely withdraw at some point and be back to normal, or u ll have to stay on Zoloft for life? My current Pdoc is afraid that if I go back on Zoloft or start Prozac I might not be able to ever come of it, given how much I suffer just discontinuing a short time/low dose 
 

thank you for your time and I hope u keep feeling better

Sorry I did not quoted the message. Answer is above

[Cage190]

On 8/15/2021 at 2:11 PM, JesusSavemefromWD said:

@Cage190

thanks for ur advice. There is not a single day that I haven’t thought of going back to Zoloft or starting low dose of Prozac. But I am too scared to do … there are people here who had a good experience reinstating but others became much worst so it is a gamble. I agree with u I suffered from both start up effects and withdrawal (although I did taper for 4.5 weeks after being on it for just 3.5 weeks). But I disagree with u on antidepressants not being addictive … if someone takes a pill for some time and cannot function after stopping , then I call this addiction. Most scientifically appropriate term seems to be dependence, but no, I call it addiction if I was fine and now cannot function without it. I also don’t think Pdocs are smart, most of them only reproduced what pharmaceutical companies tell them. Thankfully my current Pdoc is one who listens and given that I never had such symptoms before zoloft she agrees it is the cause of my problems and has given me three choices: 1. give it more time (I don’t think I can do it much longer) , 2. Try a low dose of Prozac … maybe smg was not compatible with me and Zoloft and 3. Reinstate a low dose of Zoloft, so basically is what ur suggesting as well.

I have few questions for u if u don’t mind (I can’t believe u quit after just 30 days and suffering for 4 years)

1. During these 4 years did u see any improvements at all?

2. You mention ur feeling better after reinstating (so happy for u) but I see ur akathisia is still there. Mine is life threatening I don’t get peace of mind at all , so I just wonder how come u can feel better when akathisia is still there?

3. Did u suffer initial side effects when u restarted Zoloft? 
4. does ur current Pdoc think you ll be able to stabilize and safely withdraw at some point and be back to normal, or u ll have to stay on Zoloft for life? My current Pdoc is afraid that if I go back on Zoloft or start Prozac I might not be able to ever come of it, given how much I suffer just discontinuing a short time/low dose 
 

thank you for your time and I hope u keep feeling better

Sorry, now when I've reread I've seen restart Zoloft (third point)

 

When I restarted Zoloft, I restarted at 6.25 and I stayed there for 15 days. The first day was like heaven, I remember feeling euphoric. Then, the euphoria disappeared and maybe at the 10th day I began feeling some kind effects, like having hopelessness and remember some mental agitation. Disappeared maybe in 2-3 days. 

 

Then I increased to 12.5 mg. I remember feeling more wellness immediately. But, it only lasted 10 days, because I suffered something called kindling reaction. I began having the same that I mention previously, multiplied by 5. Then, after a week that achieved the peak of that kindling, the following week I was like heaven. And then, 3 months later, I can honestly say that I haven't suffered any kind of kindling in this frame. 

 

I can feel how everyday I'm getting better. I'm going to wait until 9th month, and then, increase the dosage to 18 or 25 or stay at 12.5. It depends of the amount of progress of the next months.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

On 8/16/2021 at 12:45 PM, Cage190 said:

Sorry, now when I've reread I've seen restart Zoloft (third point)

 

When I restarted Zoloft, I restarted at 6.25 and I stayed there for 15 days. The first day was like heaven, I remember feeling euphoric. Then, the euphoria disappeared and maybe at the 10th day I began feeling some kind effects, like having hopelessness and remember some mental agitation. Disappeared maybe in 2-3 days. 

 

Then I increased to 12.5 mg. I remember feeling more wellness immediately. But, it only lasted 10 days, because I suffered something called kindling reaction. I began having the same that I mention previously, multiplied by 5. Then, after a week that achieved the peak of that kindling, the following week I was like heaven. And then, 3 months later, I can honestly say that I haven't suffered any kind of kindling in this frame. 

 

I can feel how everyday I'm getting better. I'm going to wait until 9th month, and then, increase the dosage to 18 or 25 or stay at 12.5. It depends of the amount of progress of the next months.

Ok thanks… I honestly don’t think I ll find the guts to retry Zoloft , it messed me up from day 1. I am glad ur reinstatement works and u keep getting better and better. 

[bijay]

@JesusSavemefromWD  With you experiencing toxic effects from the very beginning, I really think you are very gutsy to stay the course and not reinstate. 

 

You said earlier that you are often bed-bound.  I hope you are able to find something you can do for yourself, even if it is very passive, like listening to music or podcasts.  Little things like that can matter. 

 

Hoping you can find a little peace today ❤️

[JesusSavemefromWD]

14 minutes ago, bijay said:

@JesusSavemefromWD  With you experiencing toxic effects from the very beginning, I really think you are very gutsy to stay the course and not reinstate. 

 

You said earlier that you are often bed-bound.  I hope you are able to find something you can do for yourself, even if it is very passive, like listening to music or podcasts.  Little things like that can matter. 

 

Hoping you can find a little peace today ❤️

Unfortunately last couple of months I don’t get out of bed at all. I feel so weak like I have noodle legs . I cannot enjoy anything while in bed due to depersonalization. I honestly don’t know how I am surviving this ….Never experienced smg like this before zoloft. Approaching 10 months off and I am in constant suffering 

I don’t think there is anything that can be done at this point but I am putting my story out , hoping to stop some people from the mistake of putting the first AD pill in their bodies. “ I ll try it for a short time and if it doesn’t work I ll just stop it…” right? No!!!! Only 3.5 weeks was enough to bring unimaginable suffering and still can’t see any light at the end of the tunnel. DO NOT TAKE ADs, DO NOT, save urself the misery I am going through … I was perfectly healthy before zoloft, working, raising my kids, keeping my house clean, socializing, travelling , exercising …. I only had some chest tightness due to work stress… look at me now bedridden staring at the walls … which don’t even look real due to my depersonalization. 

[bijay]

@JesusSavemefromWD Just curious, but how are you getting your story out?  It deserves to be told, but it really is more important to spend your time and energy on self-care right now.

 

Studies have shown that bed rest can quickly debilitate even well-conditioned athletes.  If you do not get out of bed your legs will continue to weaken.   If you feel unstable you can get a walker.  If you can post to this website, you can do other things too.  You will not enjoy it, it will not feel at all like the way you used to feel, but it will be a step in the right direction.

 

If there is anyone in your life right now who can help get you out of bed, please tell them you need them. 

 

Peace and love to you.

[JesusSavemefromWD]

Today marks 10 months OFF Zoloft (took it only for few weeks). Nothing to be happy for… instead of seeing improvements new symptoms are popping up,. Along with severe depersonalization, mental akathisia, visual issues, inner dread and fear, now crippling depression and anhedonia is added. Even my sleep which was a great peaceful 10 hrs sleep has now turned into broken toxic sleep. There is nothing I can do since I can feel these is all chemically induced… some kind of bran shock/damage from Zoloft …

 

I don’t see how I can just keep living like this waiting for a miracle to happen … I am afraid I ll soon be up to my one year anniversary and still just surviving every day. I honestly wasn’t expecting so severe and  long lasting suffering after just few weeks on low dose of Zoloft. Evil Zoloft u took everything from me… To anyone out there thinking of starting ADs… please don’t … they can seriously hurt u even if taken for short time… I am unfortunately a living example of this