LotusRising: Buspar, Ativan

[Frogie]

Yes I think we need to get them all reduced so you feel some relief.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Ok, I'll give it a shot. Thank you so much. I appreciate all your help on such short notice.

 

I hope you have a merry Christmas. I know my kids can't wait for Santa.

[Frogie]

Let me know how you are doing. I will check in the morning.

 

I hope you have a very Merry Christmas. Awww Santa, I remember those days. Now my granddaughter is the youngest at 14. Those days are over. But so magical...

[LotusRising]

Hi @Frogie

Just a quick note to let you know there has been improvement in overall tightness. It has mostly moved into my head, which causes pressure headaches, but it seems to be tolerable at this point. I hope you’re having a nice Christmas and I will post my notes tomorrow. Thanks again

[Frogie]

Glad to hear you are better.

 

Hopefully the tapering will help continuing on.

 

I hope your kids and you enjoyed Santa.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

The withdrawal-type tension headaches went away last night but the tightness started returning with my 2200 and 0400 dose. Should I be continuing on with the every 2 day schedule and reduce my 1000/1600 today?

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

I mixed up my days a bit - I did not reduce today, as I had already reduced yesterday and day before as per your recommendations. I wonder if the the tightness I had overnight was either related to withdrawal, or just that my body hadn't caught up with the reductions yet?

 

Here's last two days notes with reductions

 

Dec 24 

 

0400                clonaz 0.047mg

0400-0930.    tightness - no relief from a bath, rolling, massage

1000                clonaz 0.045mg

1155                 some chest/shoulder tightening, muscles quivering to legs

1330                chest tightening starting - moved to back, scalp, face, throat and neck 6/10

1600                clonaz 0.044mg (reduced)

1930-2130.      tightening in chest and into head - tension headache 5-6/10

2200                clonaz 0.046mg (reduced)

0100-0400      woke with chest tightness 4/10, decreased to 2/10, moved into head 3/10

 

Dec 25             

0400                 clonaz 0.046mg (reduced)

0500                woke with chest tightness, passed

0530-0730.     chest/back tightness 4/10, massage

1000                 clonaz 0.044mg (reduced)

1130-1415        tension into head 5/10

1600                 clonaz 0.044mg

1630-1830.      tension headache 7/10 - very difficult to obtain relief

2200                 clonaz 0.046mg

                          some pounding/pressure to head/neck but did not get worse

2300-0400.      chest tightness on/off 2-3/10

 

My next reduction would be tomorrow if I stay on the every 2 days schedule, but I'll see how I'm feeling with the last two days reductions. I'm wondering if I should just be reducing all 4 doses, as opposed to only the two middle doses, at least until I am more stable. I feel like my body does better when the dosage amounts are similar. What do you think?

[Frogie]

I'm sure it's because your body hasn't caught up since you did it kinda quickly.

 

Hopefully tomorrow you'll be better with another reduction. I would reduce all of them until you catch them all up to .044 then start reducing them all at the same time.

 

As long as it's going well, I think you should try every 2 days because it seems the 3rd day you having such reactions. Let me know what you think.

[LotusRising]

Hi @Frogie

 

Yes, this sounds good to me. I can already feel the tightness creeping back up with doses today. 
 

I will move forward with reducing the 0400/2200 doses tomorrow. 
 

As always, thank you for all your help  

[Frogie]

You're welcome.

 

I think the sooner you get them the same dose, the sooner we can get you off.

 

Hang in there.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

I’m wondering if the 6hr interval might be too long, or if I’m just moving too fast. I am getting a tight chest an hour before my next dose is due. For example, I get tight around 2030/2100 before my 2200 and then the tightness doesn’t recede until about an hour after taking the dose. And then when the dose peaks around 0100, I’m getting tightness from that. Do you think I should be reducing that 6hr window?

[Frogie]

Are you getting these symptoms before every dose?

 

You may be reducing it too fast, but you were getting them when you were holding also.

 

Can you reduce every couple of days to get them all to the same dose, then you might hold 3 or 4 days and see if it lets up any.

 

 

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

It seems I am during the day. I'm not sure about the 0400 dose, as I'm usually tighter during the night anyway from not moving around. I noticed when we switched the schedule to every 6 hours.

 

Here's yesterday's notes Dec 26

 

0400              clonaz 0.046mg

0530              chest tightness 2/10

0630-0930   increased to back and shoulders 4/10

1000              clonaz 0.044mg

1300-1500.   chest tightening 3/10

1500              heart pounding

1600              clonaz 0.044mg

                      chest tightness/heart pounding starting again x 45mins (until dose onset)

1800              chest tightness starting 2/10, passed

1900              tightening again to chest 4/10, into shoulders, passed

2105              tightening 1/10 

2200             clonaz 0.046mg

2300           awake with tightness - dozed through until 0100

0100            tight 4/10, feeling hard to breathe - needed heat, massage

0230-0400 dozed

 

[Frogie]

Let's just get you to reduce so they are all the same dose. I don't really want to move them around anymore if we don't have to. I am hoping once they are all the same dose and you hold for 3-4 days it might straighten itself out. 

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Ok, that sounds good. 
 

Lots of strong heart pounding today and feelings of heaviness to my upper body and chest. My breathing seemed really slow and shallow for awhile there too. I’m assuming this is all normal, but definitely uncomfortable. It’s hard not to get stressed out with new symptoms. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

That is all perfectly normal, but very uncomfortable. I have the breathing stuff a lot. I just tell myself it will pass, it's just toying with me.

 

Maybe after you get your doses the same and holding a few days will help.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Dec 27 Notes

 

Today is supposed to be my holding day, but I'm wondering if it would make sense to go ahead and decrease my 2200 dose, followed by my 0400 dose tomorrow, instead of waiting until tomorrow morning. These last couple days have been really hard. I feel anxious and scared to go to sleep at night because of waking up with such tightness. I am trying so hard to be positive, but I am in such discomfort on a daily basis.

 

0400                   clonaz 0.045mg 

0530-0800.        woke tight to back/chest 3/10 - heat/massage

0900                    tightening again to chest

0900-1000          stretching

1000                    clonaz 0.044mg

                            still very tight, but into shoulders as well 5/10 (maybe tightening due to not making it the 6hrs, as started to feel relief around 1045 with medication onset)

1230                    body feeling weird, hard to describe the feeling, quivery, and respirations are slow and shallow

1600                    clonaz 0.044mg

1645                    chest tightening, passed

1850-1910           chest tightening 3/10

2030                    chest tightening again 3/10 x 20mins

2130                     chest tightening, but passed

2200                    clonaz 0.045mg

0100                    woke with extreme neck, shoulder, back tightening 6/10 - massage/heating pads, difficult to relieve

0400                   woke again with same

 

[Frogie]

I think it would be ok to reduce those. The sooner you get them all the same, then hold a couple days, I think you might have some relief.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

I opted not to reduce that last dose yesterday, as I got a pretty intense tension headache, so though maybe too much for my body. I dropped my 0400 dose today, but am again suffering from another tension headache. I wonder if I should hold on reducing my 2200 as planned? I've also highlighted what I believe to be the interdose withdrawal from changing my schedule to every 6 hours. It seems to be following a similar pattern today as well. There seems to be a crossover of an hour before my dose and 1-2hrs after I take it. Finding it really hard not to take my dose earlier than scheduled.

 

My schedule today is I reduced my 0400 to .044mg and the rest are the same .044mg/.044mg/.045mg as yesterday.

 

Dec 28 Notes

 

0400                 clonaz 0.045mg

0500.                woke with extreme tightness - heat/massage (lingering tightness from not making it until 0400?)

0930-1130.       very tight 6-7/10, until my 1000 dose kicked in (interdose?)

1000                  clonaz 0.044mg

1215                   brief chest tightening

1250                  heart pounding x 15mins

1330                 heart pounding, tightening into neck x 30min

1530                 brief tightening, passed (interdose tightness?)

1600                 clonaz 0.044mg

2030-2230      chest heaviness into tension headache/ear pain 4/10 (interdose?)

2200                clonaz 0.045mg

 

 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Hold off reducing the dose until the headache goes away. Then once it's gone, go ahead and reduce it so we have you on all dosages the same.

 

You could try moving up 1 hour and see how you do? Maybe that will calm the tightness down. I was just trying to get it closer to bedtime so you didn't wake up as much with anxiety.

 

What do you think? 

 

I'll be away for a while, going to an appointment. But I'll check on you when I get back.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

do you mean move up the 2200 dosage, or all of them? I’m not really getting any anxiety, mostly just the tightness prior to and immediately following dosages, until they kick in. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

I thought you were having problems with the 2200 dose so that's why I suggested moving it up one hour. 

 

It could be waiting too long could be causing the tightness until it kicks in.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Yes, after I reread that, I understood what you meant  Not thinking clearly with this terrible headache. 
 

And yes, I think I am running into this problem a lot with the new schedule. I guess we will see how it goes when all doses are the same. If I can, I will reduce my 2200, but I’ve had this tension headache all day in varying degrees. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Take care of the headache then you can reduce the dose so they are all the same.

 

I know exactly how you feel. Today is the 1st day I haven't had a headache in a week. I think mine was too much holiday.

 

Feel better.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

The headaches seem to be tied to the reduction. I noticed they waned in intensity when my dose hit its peak. This last headache was so intense in pain/pressure to head/ears, it was at a 9/10 pain. It has not even passed yet. Tried tylenol 250mg with no luck and afraid to try more. Can I take ibuprofen? Wondering about taking my last dose earlier and if I should updose my 0400 back up to .045mg, or just ride it out. I don't know what else to do for the pain. I used ice packs, but both headaches today lasted over 4 hours.

[Frogie]

You can take ibuprofen. Just try not to take regularly or you’ll end up with rebound headaches. It’s very common to get headaches and unfortunately your best bet is to take ibuprofen or Tylenol and ride them out so we can get you off this stuff.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Ok, thank you. Maybe I will try a small amount of ibuprofen.  I hate how this has made me so scared to take anything.

 

If I wasn't tough enough before, I sure as hell will be when this is done ...

[Frogie]

Take 1/2 the dosage and see how you do. If you don't have any problems and it helps that's what I would stick with.

 

It is a real eye opener though. At least for me it has been.

 

I hope it helps.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Dec 29 Notes from yesterday

 

I wasn't able to drop the last dose yesterday. I will do that tonight. Should I go forward with lowering all 4 doses tomorrow as well? I don't know that I'll be able to hold for 2 days. The tightening just seems to get worse as soon as I stop decreasing and has been increasing throughout the day today.  Please let me know what you think. 

 

0400            clonaz 0.044mg

0530-0830 chest/back/shoulders tightened 4/10

0915            chest becoming tight again 

1000            clonaz 0.044mg

1000-1400  chest still tight/tension into head, headache/ear pain 2/10, increased to 5/10

1430-1530  tension headache coming back (dose wearing off)

1600            clonaz 0.044mg

1700            still tightness in chest/diaphragm area, moving into jaw/head

1800            8/10 pain, decreased to 4/10 at 1900, 2/10 by 2000

2200           clonaz 0.045mg

0030           tightening into glutes/back 4/10

0430           tightening into shoulders/back 5/10

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Let's get you lowered as soon as you feel you're able. I think once you get them all the same dose and start decreasing them all at once this will hopefully straighten out.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Ok, I'll lower the 2200 tonight and see how I do overnight and try to hold for tomorrow. Holding is definitely the hardest thing to do when all you want is to have it out of your body and be rid of the awful discomfort.  It takes a great deal of patience, but if I really take a look, I can see that I have improved. As they say, patience is a virtue . . .

 

I hope it sorts itself out too. Thank you frogie

[Frogie]

You’re welcome. I’m glad I can help. I’m sure crossing my fingers that this works for you 😊

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Dec 30 Notes - dropped the 2200 dose, holding for today. We talked about starting to reduce every 2 days until the tightness recedes. Should that still be the plan? The tightening has lessened for sure and I am able to walk around more, which is noticeable improvement. I am definitely still getting the tightening with each dose though. I always get a little concerned when I start to feel better, because it seems that I get hit with another heavy round of tightening. Although now that the doses are all the same, perhaps that won't happen? What do you think is the best way to move forward?

 

0400             clonaz 0.044mg

0430             tightening started into shoulders - heating pad and fell back asleep

0530             tightening into back 3/10 - heating pad again, massage

1000              clonaz 0.044mg

1000-1130.   tightness to chest/intercostals 1/10

1245.             mild headache, tightening into head/neck 2/10

1300-1515.    tightening into chest/neck/head/jaw 3/10

1600              clonaz 0.044mg

1720              mild tightening into chest

1810              headache/pressure into ears 4/10

1930             chest tightness increased to 4/10, moving into shoulders

2200.            clonaz 0.044mg

0030             tightening to chest/shoulders/back 2/10

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

I'm glad you were able to get all the doses the same and you have a little improvement. That is awesome.

 

I think if you're good with reducing every 2 days, let's try that and see how you do. I think the faster you get off of this the better you will feel.

[LotusRising]

@frogie

 

Yes, I will give it a shot. So, I’ll reduce all 4 doses tomorrow by .001mg right?

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Yes. I think you should try it and see if that will help. I really think we need to get you off of this as soon as your body will allow.