LotusRising: Buspar, Ativan

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

I was probably the exception to the rule, as I usually am.

 

Hopefully you can get it under control. Moving around a lot will cause it too if you already have gut issues.

 

It is hard not having an appetite. I went through that. Now I'm on weight watchers because I went the other way! LOL...

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Sorry it's so late, but wanted to see how you were doing?

 

Hopefully no news is good news!

[LotusRising]

Hi @Frogie

 

I wish I had better news.

 

I had more of an appetite today, which is good , so I ate, but my stomach lining is still very irritated. The abdominal tightening I get from my doses is now causing quite a bit of pain. I’ve tried a dose oF Tylenol without much luck. Hoping I don’t react too badly with my 2200 dose. I hope at some point my body will stop reacting to this drug. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Some good news, then some not so good news.

 

You were able to eat, that's fabulous. Maybe try more protein? I know you're doing the best you can.

 

Hopefully this will let up soon for you. You're getting closer everyday.

 

I think I gave you the link on nausea, and bloating didn't I? If not, let me know and I'll send it to you.

 

Take care.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Yep, a bit of both. 
 

And yes, you gave me the link. I think my problem is slow gut motility. I’m in the process of reading through posts on the site to see what others have done. I may also

need to see my naturopath. It really sucks. I can’t afford to lose any more

weight. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

That does stink. I wish I could give you more suggestions. I do know that O2bhappy has slow digestion, she's not on a lot anymore but you might write her. She could maybe give you some suggestions.

 

I found this link that she actually wrote. Maybe she has t=some tips in it.

 

 

Keep me posted. 

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Thanks, I will try reaching out.

 

I haven't been able to eat anything today except for oatmeal and I still have an awful bloated feeling. I hope this symptom passes - I'm only 112lbs, so losing weight would not be good for me!

 

I tried the link, but unfortunately didn't find any helpful tidbits.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Sorry you didn't find anything helpful on there. I didn't read it before I sent it, so I apologize for that.

 

I would try reaching out to her. She might see that you have in her email and get back to you.

 

Other than that, like I said try all the protien, oatmeal, cheese, peanut butter, sardines, chicken, tuna, yogurt. And eat small meals. Even protein shakes would be good.

 

Keep me posted. I hope it fades as you go further down on your dosage.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

No need to apologize! Any help I can get is great 😊 

 

I did reach out to her, so hopefully she can offer up some advice. 
 

In the meantime, yes, I’m working on small meals and I just got a new protein powder to try and drinking it as I type. First time I’ve been hungry since my oatmeal this morning. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

That's a good sign, drinking protein shakes! Great sign also that you were actually hungry.

 

Hopefully she will reach out to you soon.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Just checking in really quick. I got the booster and going back to bed.

 

I hope you are doing ok. Keep your chin up. You are getting lower and lower.

[LotusRising]

Hi @Frogie

 

Thanks for checking in. I’m doing alright today, better than yesterday for sure. I can tell the tightening is lessening in intensity as the days are passing and it feels good to get lower and lower.
 

Stomach is a little better today, though still eating less than my 9year old daughter. Happy to be getting food in though  

 

Take care and rest up tonight. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

As soon as you get off this, you're appetite will pick up. I'm sure of it.

 

I'm glad the tightening is lesser today. That's a good sign.

 

You take care of yourself.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Just checking in on you?

[LotusRising]

Hi @Frogie

 

Mood is very low. My heart rate is really high today - it goes from 65 to 110-115 when I stand. Tried to walk around the block but up to 130’s and short of breath. Did you have any POTS-like symptoms? I did a site search, but I have trouble reading other peoples stories sometimes. I’m barely eating and it’s like my bowels have almost stopped. I’m assuming all related to wd. Hopefully passes soon. It would also be nice to sleep …

 

Trying to stay positive, but tough day today. 

I hope you’re feeling well post-booster?

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

I'm sorry to hear that. I know that they say omega's will help with heart rate. Maybe try a little updose on that?

 

Have you tried Gatoraide or Propel to for electrolytes? Even juice, tea, 7-up. When my kids were little and had an upset stomach the dr said give them coke, not pepsi and it worked. You might even try that.

 

Just try to eat as much as you can and at this point anything, pudding, jello, anything that sounds good.

 

I have heart rate problems once in a while. Yesterday I think mine was related to the booster. My fitbit said I was in fat burn mode just sitting, I could watch it go from 75 to 130 without getting out of my chair. Today it is in the 90's, so I think it's a little better.

 

Just keep your chin up. It will get better. Look how far you've come.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

My heart rate always seems to improve as the day goes so it’s not all doom and gloom. I still got out for a walk with my kids and husband and just pushed through the shortness of breath. We’re about to get a deep freeze here, so it was a must to get out. 
 

I am drinking electrolytes and just popped over to the store for some jello - good idea  When I walked in with it the kids were starry-eyed 🤩 

 

Hard to believe I’ve only been on this medication for a little over 3 months and it has changed my body this much. Scary. Just trying to keep my eye on the finish line.

 

Thanks for checking in. It means a lot  

[Altostrata]

Wow, if your kids get excited over Jello -- cheap dates!

 

@MedRN you've done an excellent job backing out of the benzo. I'm sorry this happened. You were prescribed a stunning amount of drug.

 

You sound like you're doing much better.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Your heart rate will calm down. I got my booster and my fitbit says I'm in fat burning mode at 135 and I'm just sitting here...

 

That's great that your kids are enjoying your menu.

 

Just like Altostrata said, you are doing a fantastic job and look how much closer you are to the finish line.

[LotusRising]

@Altostrata

 

I don't think I've ever bought jello before in my life lol

 

And thank you for all your help. Now that my thinking is clearer, when I look back a couple months, I can really see how very overprescribed I was and it's ridiculous that there's such a lack of knowledge in the medical system that allows this to happen to so many people.   

 

Thank you again for your help. I had no idea what was happening in the beginning and am so thankful to have come across this site. 

[LotusRising]

@Frogie they certainly are. Just got a thumbs up!

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

I'm so glad. I wish I could see their little smiles. I bet it made you smile as well.

[LotusRising]

@Greatful

 

I just wanted to send you a quick note - I'm not sure if this is the best way to contact you, or if I should be writing on your thread?

 

A while back, you had sent me a link for a binaural beats called "relax". I had just been starting to listen to binaural beats, but honestly, it's this one in particular that got me through some very tough adrenaline surges in the beginning of my journey. It was a lifesaver for me. Just wanted to say thank you  

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Just checking in.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Bit of an up and down day today after a not very good night. But I still did my yoga and got out driving today, which I’ve been neglecting, so it was good to feel a little normalcy. Still very little appetite, but trusting my body will tell me what it needs and when. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

You are going to have a lot of up and down days until you get off this. 
 

Driving? That’s super! I couldn’t drive or go anywhere by myself for a year after my taper of Lexapro so you’re doing awesome with that.

 

You’re appetite will pick up. In the meantime just do the best you can getting in small meals and protein.

 

Overall I think your doing wonderful. Keep it up. You’re almost there.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Just an update for yesterday:

 

No tightening whatsoever  What a blessed day *knock on wood* I hope it continues.

 

I got out with my husband to pick up a new exercise bike, stopped at save-on not knowing it was 15% day, so it was packed 😳 and then made a final stop at the neighbourhood bakery to pick up a treat for the kids. My heart rate was still running higher than normal today, but managed to do all of this with no anxiety whatsoever, which I guess shouldn't really surprise me, as I did all of these things before.

 

Unfortunately, my appetite is still very, very low, and my whole GI system feels very slow, but I get food in when I can. I've also noticed I'm getting Raynaud's in my toes, which is a new symptom for me. 

 

I had to speak to work today to find out if they can hold my job for me. This was very difficult and I had a good cry afterward, but I have started on some coursework for a diploma that I am taking virtually, so this helps to direct my energy during the day when I feel focused enough to work on it. 

 

Trying to focus on these good things, as I still find most of my days consists of a fairly low mood. And also remembering how far I've come. I think the hardest part is having the normal days, followed by the days with symptoms. But I also know this means I'm healing.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

4 hours ago, MedRN said:

No tightening whatsoever  What a blessed day *knock on wood* I hope it continues.

That is wonderful!!!!!  I'm crossing my fingers, eyes and toes😊

 

4 hours ago, MedRN said:

I got out with my husband to pick up a new exercise bike, stopped at save-on not knowing it was 15% day, so it was packed 😳 and then made a final stop at the neighbourhood bakery to pick up a treat for the kids. My heart rate was still running higher than normal today, but managed to do all of this with no anxiety whatsoever, which I guess shouldn't really surprise me, as I did all of these things before.

Another HUGE plus! You were able to get out and face the crowds. Your heart rate, I'm sure will cal down once you are off this. A new exercise bike? How exciting. I have one that sits in the family room and gets dusted once a week lol. I bet your kiddos enjoyed their treat.

 

4 hours ago, MedRN said:

Unfortunately, my appetite is still very, very low, and my whole GI system feels very slow, but I get food in when I can. I've also noticed I'm getting Raynaud's in my toes, which is a new symptom for me. 

I'm glad you are at least eating and getting protein in. That's ok it you eat small things throughout the day. I don't know anything about Raynaud's except it turns your skin colors? I hope it is just temporary.

 

4 hours ago, MedRN said:

I had to speak to work today to find out if they can hold my job for me. This was very difficult and I had a good cry afterward, but I have started on some coursework for a diploma that I am taking virtually, so this helps to direct my energy during the day when I feel focused enough to work on it. 

I'm sorry you had to make that dreaded phone call. Hopefully it went smoothly for you and you'll be able to return when it is right for you. That's another HUGE plus that you started your casework, even virtually. It means you are healing!

 

4 hours ago, MedRN said:

Trying to focus on these good things, as I still find most of my days consists of a fairly low mood. And also remembering how far I've come. I think the hardest part is having the normal days, followed by the days with symptoms. But I also know this means I'm healing.

It's really hard when you have such and good day, then have a bad day. But that's the waves and windows pattern and is perfectly normal. It does mean you are healing. 

 

Overall, all I can say is Woooo Hoooo! You had an incredible day, with many, many more to come.

 

I'm happy for you💃and will do a happy dance.

 

 

[LotusRising]

Thank you @Frogie!

 

Yes, it was a good day!

 

Today, similarly, has so far been tightness free. It's freezing cold here so I haven't been outside, but I did some stairs in the house and also some yoga. My appetite has picked up a little bit today, enough that I've actually been getting hungry and have been able to eat small amounts every 2-3hrs. Huge improvement from the last couple weeks  

 

I think things are on the up and up!

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Sounds like you had a really good day again.

 

That's wonderful!

 

I think you are on the right path to zero!!

[Altostrata]

Good to hear, @MedRN Now you are an expert on the ins and outs of benzo tapering!!

[LotusRising]

 

Definitely a down day today. Woke up with no appetite and whole digestive system shut down. Have only been able to stomach a piece of toast and half a protein shake. My diet was so healthy before this, which makes this all the more difficult. My husband convinced me to ride on the bike for a bit, hopefully that will stimulate my brain to tell those nerves in my stomach that I need to eat.

 

I know there will be ups and downs, just disheartening after two really good days. I guess I will take it as a sign that healing is happening in another area of my body today. 

 

Fingers crossed for a better appetite tomorrow. 

[Greatful]

@MedRN

Your welcome. I use that one a just about everyday......

This is a hard journey we are on.....

hang in there, you are doing a great job😊

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

You're going to have ups and downs.

 

Be happy you had two days in a row.

 

And maybe tomorrow will be better.

 

We will all keep our fingers crossed for you😊

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

Yes, I know the ups and downs are going to be there.

 

I journal every day, so I make sure to write about the good stuff and when I'm forgetting about the good stuff, my husband helps me to find the joy. Today's joy was my kids noticing I was having a bad day, and just popping over to hug me and tell me they love me. So, I will hold on to that today.

 

I'm also grateful that I had two days without abdominal tightening. That's the longest period I've had so far, so definitely something to be happy about   In the meantime, I will continue to get little bits of food in here and there and look forward to my next day without tightening.

 

Thank you for your support frogie 💕

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

That is so awesome your kids gave you hugs and said I love you. That would make up for a bad day any day.

 

You have a great spirit and it will get you through this.

 

Journaly is great. You can pour your heart out and no one hears it. That's how I looked at it, "hubby" never had to listen me complain over and over.

 

I think you are doing great. Hold on to that!