LotusRising: Buspar, Ativan

[LotusRising]

@Greatful Yes, I have just recently experienced the heaviness in both my arms and legs. Very strange sensation. 
 

Yes, I was a fully functional person before taking these meds. My baseline anxiety was minimal compared to what I’m experiencing currently, and now, I am not even able to work or even exercise  and my kids are wondering what happened to mom. I am trying to practice acceptance and go day by day. I know it will get better. 
 

I listen to binaural beats every night before bed

[Frogie]

7 hours ago, MedRN said:

Thank you @FrogieI think I remember it happening when all this stuff started, so hopefully it will pass. 

It will. You just have to believe.

[Ktven48]

@MedRN

 

Hang in there. I’m right there with you. So are many others in this forum. I’m telling you this and myself this - We can make it. We deserve to.

[LotusRising]

@Altostrata  @Frogie

 

I'm just starting Day 5 of my 5% reduction and not doing so well. I have been in a perpetual wave of panic/anxiety/adrenaline/tinnitus since 0400 this morning. I have also not slept at all for the last two nights and when I close my eyes the anxiety becomes worse. Can I updose in between my regular doses? It is 0715 my time, my usual doses are 0500/0900/1300/1700. You had suggested an updose of 0.005mg previously.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

I think at this point you could updose to 1/2 of what you tapered.

 

Just remember it might take up to 4 days to feel the updose.

 

Have you tried melatonin by chance? You might try .3 mg. That might help calm you so you can sleep.

 

Keep up with the notes so we know how you are doing.

 

Hang in there.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Edited November 22, 2021 by Frogie

[LotusRising]

@Altostrata @Frogie

 

I added in the 1/2 dose (0.005mg) at 0730 this morning. I'll add it into my 0500 dose tomorrow. I hope it brings me some relief. I have used melatonin in the past, but for the last two nights, as soon as I close my eyes, the anxiety comes back in waves. So, I'm super tired but at the same time have to try and stay awake to prevent the anxiety from surging. It's very strange. 

 

Nov 22 Day 4 of 5% reduction

 

0500                clonaz 0.05mg liq

0500-0900.    anxiety on/off, mild chest tightness

0900                clonaz 0.05mg liq

0900-1200.     on/off chest tightness, anxiety 3/10

1300                clonaz 0.05mg liq

1500-1830      anxiety 3/10, fluttery in chest/stomach type of anxiety

1845                chest tightened 3/10, tinnitus

2030                in bed, anxiety 2-3/10

2045                feels like heart pounding, but heart rate is normal

0130                 still awake, startling when closing my eyes and anxiety increases with eyes closed

0400-0800      small panic attack with tinnitus, morphed into another attack with chest/arm tightening and panic coming                            in waves with chest so tight, it felt like squeezing on my windpipe. Still have tinnitus 5/10

 

 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

I would try this updose and see if it helps. Like I said, it won't be immediate. Hopefully though it will get you relief.

 

Just do lots of self care, get fresh air/walks (if able),  don't watch TV or be on a computer an hour or two before bed, take a nice hot bath/shower before bed, take a nap if you're able. Meditation helps a lot. 

 

Most of all be kind to yourself. 

 

Please keep me posted.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

Edited November 22, 2021 by Frogie

[LotusRising]

@Frogie @Altostrata I've been getting a lot of burning in my scalp today since taking this updose. Do you think it's my body saying no. I have had previous burning, but not to this extent.

[LotusRising]

Does anyone have trouble with extreme muscle tension - it's like I can feel my nerves all of a sudden fire very quickly and then the muscles on the inside of my body start to tighten up. Makes breathing very difficult. It happens to me almost every day. I can physically feel where the nerves are firing and sometimes they move around to different parts of my chest or stomach. Anyone else? I am finding this one of my toughest symptoms, along with waking in panic. I've just opted to try to stay awake, as it can take me over an hour to get my breathing regulated again.

[Frogie]

I have that very same symptom (or close to it). But I call it my nerves being on fire and snakes and spiders crawling through my veins. Does that make sense?

 

Just like @Greatfulsaid, a weighted blanket works wonders. And I useca heating pad here and there too.

Edited November 23, 2021 by Frogie

[Greatful]

@MedRN

I had what I will call muscle twitches or spasms in my arm.  It was crazy I could watch the muscle move.

Can you sleep/nap in a recliner? I also recommend a weighted blanket.  I carry one around the house to sit/lay under.  We also have one on our bed.

 

 

[Believer]

I had that starting in the small of my back that worked it’s way up to my neck over a few week. At times wrapping around my rib cage making it difficult to breath, at which time it would spasm. Heat/cold and time. Oh and Tylenol.

[LotusRising]

Yes, I think I know what you mean @Frogie

 

I've ordered both a weighted blanket and wedge pillow as you and @Greatfulhave recommended. I am also finding that a heating pad is working for the tightness in between the 3-4 baths I'm having per day. Thankful my husband works from home so he can give me massage, which also helps tremendously.

[LotusRising]

Nov 22 Notes - Updosed today by 2.5% (0.005mg) .22mg/day

 

0400-0830            panic, waves of chest tightness/squeezing 5-6/10, tinnitus 5/10, trembling - had a bath, massage

0500                       clonaz 0.05mg liq

0730                       clonaz 0.005mg liq

0900                       clonaz 0.05mg liq

0930                       tinnitus still 5/10, anxiety in chest remains at 3/10, upper body really tight, closing my eyes makes                                        anxiety worse and makes me feel off-balance/dizzy, trembling feeling in chest

0930-1230             muscles will not relax - had a bath/massage, which helped

1300                       clonaz 0.05mg liq

1500                       closed eyes for short meditation and woke into panic attack with chest/stomach tightening, 45mins

1500-1900             anxiety on/off 4-5/10

1900                       clonaz 0.0625mg tab

2000                       whole upper body tight, bath and massage, mild scalp burning, tinnitus 4/10

2050                       in bed

2050-0230            afraid to sleep, afraid of waking into panic attack, upper body tightness on/off - used heating pad

0230-0500            couldn't keep eyes open, slept on/off - didn't wake with panic attack

0500                       clonaz 0.05mg

                                lots of chest/torso tightness/anxiety on waking 4-5/10

 

Really tough day yesterday, both emotionally and physically. Thankful for no overnight anxiety.

[Frogie]

1 hour ago, MedRN said:

Yes, I think I know what you mean @Frogie

 

I've ordered both a weighted blanket and wedge pillow as you and @Greatfulhave recommended. I am also finding that a heating pad is working for the tightness in between the 3-4 baths I'm having per day. Thankful my husband works from home so he can give me massage, which also helps tremendously.

Hopefully these things will help. You're lucky to have such a kind and caring husband that is helping you through all of this. I hope the updose will give you some relief very soon.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Just wanted to check in with you.

 

I hope you're doing a little better.

[LotusRising]

@Altostrata

Hi @Frogie My daytime anxiety has been down today, but I noticed that the nerve tightness I've been getting, has increased and into different areas of my body over the last two days. About an hour after my evening dose tonight, I became tight and then it progressed into an adrenaline surge. It makes me think paradoxical reaction to that evening dose. Do you have any thoughts on this? This is my third day on the updose.

 

I've also been doing a lot of reading on kindling. As I have previously tapered off of ativan in 2012, I wonder if this is a possibility? 

[Frogie]

Try to give it a couple more days and see what happens. You could always lower your night dose if needed. I hate for you to go up and down because it's so hard on your system. Hang in there, hopefully you'll feel better very soon.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie Ok, I can see how I feel tomorrow. It is 3 hours after my last dose and I am still feeling very restless and agitated, with lots of energy. I will post my notes tomorrow.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

If you are still having these symptoms you may need to decrease just a tiny bit more as you could be having a paradoxical effect on this evening dose. 

[LotusRising]

@Frogie Yes, I was thinking the same thing. I had these symptoms most of the night and into the morning. How much should I decrease? I updosed by 0.005mg, a 2.5% increase. Should I decrease by the same amount or even smaller?

[LotusRising]

 

@Frogie @Altostrata

 

Here's my notes to follow my above comment.

 

Day 2 Updose

 

In the last 4 nights I have slept only about 4 hours, with no daytime napping, as I feel too awake to sleep. I feel like I'm waffling between paradoxical and withdrawal symptoms. 

 

0500                     clonaz 0.055mg

0500-0600        slept on/off

                            upper body tightening/stiff

0730                   nausea, woke with chest/torso tightness - had bath, massage

0800                   tinnitus, nausea

0900                   tinnitus, nausea

                            clonaz 0.05mg

0915                    torso/chest tightening starting

0930                   still nauseous

                            closing my eyes prompts anxiety in waves and more dizziness

1200                    tightening in torso/chest, gradual 2-3/10 and into neck, mild itching to scalp throughout afternoon

1300                    clonaz 0.05mg

1545                    slow, gradual tightening into chest/neck

1700                    clonaz 0.0625mg

1845                   chest, armpit tightening up, proceeded into adrenaline surge

2025-0200.        still feeling energized, restless, tinnitus on/off

0200                   still awake with waves of anxiety, so tired but can't sleep

0240                   feels like another adrenaline surge

0400-0500.        dozed

 

 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

You've slept 4 hours! That's pretty good.

 

Can you hold maybe a couple more days on this dose and see where you are then? If you really think you need to decrease I'd cut the taper in 1/2, so 0.0025 and see. But you're going up and down so much so fast I hate to see you do that unless you don't think you can try a couple more days to see how it goes.

 

For the nausea, I'd try some saltines and maybe some ginger ale. Eat light meals. 

 

You're doing great though.

Edited November 24, 2021 by Frogie

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

I've only slept 4 hours in the last 4 days. Not 4 hours last night. I'm not sure if you misread that. I'm feeling increasingly worse with each dose I take. I have been awake for most of the last 4 days. This is probably the worse I've felt. I thought we would be decreasing the evening dose due to the paradoxical reaction?

[Frogie]

I'm sorry, I did misunderstand you.

 

Maybe go ahead and decrease in 1/2 like I said and try that.

 

Just keep up the notes for us and we'll go from there.

 

Hopefully you'll be able to take nap or a nice hot bath.

 

Take care,

Frogie xx

[LotusRising]

@Frogiecan you please clarify what you mean by decrease in 1/2? I had done a 2.5% updose and am getting paradoxical symptoms, do you mean decrease my evening dose by 1.25%?

[Frogie]

I'm sorry. I meant you updosed by 0.005, so I would cut your updose in 1/2 to 00.0025. Decrease it by 1.25% just like you said.  Does that make sense? 

 

I hope this will help.

Edited November 24, 2021 by Frogie

[LotusRising]

So, do this for the 1700 dose, or can I split that between the 1300 and 1700? Feeling a bit worried about how I'm doing right now.

[Frogie]

Let's split it and see how you do😊

 

Hang in there, we'll get it figured out.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie 

 

Ok, so to confirm, my total daily dose will now be .215mg.

 

I currently take .055mg at 0500, .05mg at 0900, .05mg at 1300 and .0625mg at 1700. This would up my 1300 dose to .055 and decrease my 1700 dose to .055mg. It's not a problem to increase that 1300 dose? Sorry for all the clarifying, but I'm having a lot of trouble concentrating today. It's not one of my better days.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

It's ok to have off days. We all have them. 

 

Are you having the most trouble with the 1300 and 1700 doses? If you're doing ok with the 1300 dose, I would leave it alone and decrease your 1700 dose to 0.0620 and try that. That's an 8% decrease, maybe it will help.

 

If you're having problems with both doses I would decrease the 1300 dose to 0.0620 also.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie

 

I'm currently having trouble with all doses today. I can feel everything peak about 2 1/2 to 3 hrs after I took both my 0500 and 0900 dose. 

 

4 minutes ago, Frogie said:

the 1300 dose to 0.0620 also.

 

My dose at 1300 is currently at 0.05mg, not .0620. So, the problem is that it would be increasing the 1300 dose from 0.05mg to 0.055mg and decreasing the 1700 dose from 0.0625 to 0.055mg. I have almost constant inner akathisia today and had it pretty much the entire night last night.

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Hold that thought. I just updosed your 1300 dose.

 

Let's try to decrease your 1300 dose to 0.04 and your 1700 dose to 0.057. That's a total of .202 a day.

Edited November 24, 2021 by Frogie

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

I hate for you to drop all your doses so fast, but if you needed to, you could drop your 0500 dose to 0.05 and your 0900 dose to 0.04. Only if you think it would help. I just hate to see you go up and down. That just wreaks havoc on your system.

[LotusRising]

@Frogie is .2175 to .202 a 7% decrease? Have I calculated that right? I know I didn’t tolerate the 5% decrease. I just know that I’m getting progressively stronger reactions today from my 0900 dose. And I need to take my 1300 dose in 45mins. 

[Frogie]

@MedRN

 

Yes it's a 7% decrease, but you could try this taper. It would be a 3.49% decrease and see how you do.

 

0500  0.053

0900  0.048

1300  0.048

1700  0.0609

 

Total from 0.2175 to 0.2099 

 

That would be a lot smaller decrease and maybe tolerated better.

 

 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Frogie