TDstruggle: Looking for Hope

[manymoretodays]

Hi there TDstruggle,

On 12/12/2021 at 1:47 PM, TDstruggle said:

I do notice that i have a lot of fear I've never experienced before. It is difficult for me to leave my house at times. I NEVER had that. I've always been an active, wanting to get out and see the world kind of person. I've also noticed that yesterday when I was having a great few hours the fear was less intense.

 

I know, that was a long winded way of saying I'm not sure how to answer your question. If it isn't related to withdrawal then I'm not sure if I can get off the antidepressant and stay off of it. I won't live my life hidden away at home. That is NOT me. I have no other obsessive thoughts, only about health and worried about being unable to move in the future due to the pain.

 

That great few hours you describe, was a Window then.  And that is great.  I always look at Windows as signs of healing and recovery from WD.

And yes, I do think your fears are related to WD.  You'll see both anxiety and even panic listed in Dr. Glenmullen's withdrawal checklist.

 

Your best bet, or if I were you.......I would certainly want to hone up on skills now,  non-drug coping skills for the fears.  If you are comfortable engaging a decent therapist or practitioner to help you with coping skills for WD symptoms......some will do that as well.  Do, take a look at some of the links I'll add, start at the beginning, and you may find some good coping that others have had great success with.

 

***https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/10964-the-dr-claire-weekes-method-of-recovering-from-a-sensitized-nervous-system/

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/13669-ways-to-cope-with-daily-anxiety/

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/5213-sudden-fear-terror-panic-anxiety-or-sensory-overload-from-withdrawal/

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/5997-health-anxiety-hypochondria-and-obsession-with-symptoms/

 

With the pain, physical pain, longstanding now too, you may want to seek out some alternative to medication, only treatments.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/725-lower-back-pain/

 

Keep in mind that you likely have a sensitized nervous system now, and symptoms may even feel a bit magnified.

You are not alone with that here.  Many fellow strugglers, with WD.

 

 

And proceed with caution on any over the counter medications, such as your un-named antihistamine, and definitely consider a taper off it when that time comes.  Caution means look up any medication or substance before ingesting.  Drugs.com is an excellent site to do that.   For single medications, and some OTC meds, use the top search box there.  And then always start low, and go slow, observing your own tolerance and/or reaction to.

And then we also have topics here, on site too:

Antihistamines for withdrawal insomnia(diphenhydramine, doxylamine, hydroxyzine)

Allergies, sneezing, stuffed up, nose, sinus-antihistamines and what to use for allergy relief

 

I'm wondering how you are doing now, today and yesterday too, TDstruggle? 

If you would add in your cessation of Prozac to your signature too, that will be helpful.

And it sounds like so far, there have been more improvements than set backs.  So hoping that is the case still.

There will be some symptoms, yet hopefully lessening over time.

 

How have you done with your looking over and reading the venlafaxine tapering topic.  Have you settled on a more accurate measurement of your 2 doses?

Here is that topic again.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/272-tips-for-tapering-off-effexor-and-effexor-xr-venlafaxine/

Please ask right here if questions too.

 

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system. 

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

Do not make more than one change at a time though in anything.  And as always, start low, and go slow, while observing.  That way you'll begin to get a feel for what might be doing or even causing what.

 

You've had a lot of changes for your system to re-adapt too.  This will take some time, yet I believe you will reach a new stability.  We often refer to that as WD stability.

https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/23081-are-we-there-yet-how-long-is-withdrawal-going-to-take/

#5 and #11 should be helpful for you to look at now

 

And best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

 

[Altostrata]

On 12/12/2021 at 12:47 PM, TDstruggle said:

However, fourteen years ago when I was taking a drug called Ultracet (that they swore was not an opioid or habit forming) for having herniated discs I was also diagnosed with Postpartum depression. During that short time, I was stopping Ultracet. I do recall having some of these thoughts. Now, the question remains, did something happen to my mental state after having a third child, or is this related to the medicine?

 

It was withdrawal from going off the pain drug.

 

Postpartum depression is a bit of a medical mystery, as so many things are when women are involved. Is it permanent? When does it end? Nobody has bothered to look into this, they just keep refilling the drug prescriptions. In my opinion, you probably didn't have it or, 14 years later, it's long gone.

 

How are you doing now?

[TDstruggle]

Hi Alostrata,

 

I hope you've had a great holiday! Thank you so much for reaching out to me.

 

It's been a busy time the last week or two. I forced myself off the couch and went to Disney World with my family. The first 24-hours were TOUGH. However, I wouldn't let the side effects win and I made it through the week. I did okay through the second half. I did Okay for Christmas, but I felt hollow and sad (not on the couch depressed, though).

 

Mostly, I have ups and downs throughout a day. Some days are harder than others. Mostly I'm still struggling with the fear.

 

What has improved: nausea, upset stomach, brain zaps, depression, hopelessness (still some but not as intense), Darkness (still there but not as suffocating), Brain fog is clearing the last day or so. I managed to write 2k words yesterday and began working on a 2022 business plan.

Still hoping to improve: fear, sleep (although I am now sleeping through the night until around 7:00AM), dealing with pain, tingling tongue (although this is not as often as before).

 

I don't want to adjust medication at all until I'm fully stable and then some. This is what I did wrong before. I pushed and pushed trying to get off and I ended up in bed, praying for God to take me home. I don't want to be back there again. 

 

I'm not sure how long it should take for me to feel 100% at this dosage, but I'm going to try to hang here for awhile. Hopefully that is the right move. Honestly, I'm too scared to face the hell I went through for 8 straight months. Each day, I feel like  a piece of me is put back together. I even managed to leave the house again to go go-carting with my boys and I laughed for the first time in 9 months. I didn't even manage that at the happiest place on Earth last week.

 

 

 

 

[TDstruggle]

On 12/16/2021 at 11:00 PM, manymoretodays said:

Hi there TDstruggle,

 

That great few hours you describe, was a Window then.  And that is great.  I always look at Windows as signs of healing and recovery from WD.

And yes, I do think your fears are related to WD.  You'll see both anxiety and even panic listed in Dr. Glenmullen's withdrawal checklist.

Thank you for sharing Dr. Glenmullen's withdrawal checklist. Knowing that the fear is related to WD will keep me focused on staying off the drug instead of returning to it in order to decrease this overwhelming fear.

On 12/16/2021 at 11:00 PM, manymoretodays said:

 

And proceed with caution on any over the counter medications, such as your un-named antihistamine

I've discontinued the antihistamine. I think that was a couple of weeks ago.

On 12/16/2021 at 11:00 PM, manymoretodays said:

 

I'm wondering how you are doing now, today and yesterday too, TDstruggle? 

I'm doing better. However, I am still struggling with the fear and a few other minor symptoms.

 

If you would add in your cessation of Prozac to your signature too, that will be helpful.

Yes, I will do this tomorrow.

 

And it sounds like so far, there have been more improvements than set backs.  So hoping that is the case still.

There will be some symptoms, yet hopefully lessening over time.

Yes, I have been improving over the last 20 days.

On 12/16/2021 at 11:00 PM, manymoretodays said:

 

How have you done with your looking over and reading the venlafaxine tapering topic. 

To be honest, I've been too scared to dig too deep yet. However, the link for creating your own liquid isn't functioning and I would've been interested in this method. Otherwise, I will attempt to keep cutting the pills down slowly.

On 12/16/2021 at 11:00 PM, manymoretodays said:

 

Thank you again for all your assistance! I hope to continue improving and gaining some strength so that I can face reducing this medication. I just don't want to push too quickly and end up regressing back onto the drug or to end up suicidal again. That was frightening since I've never experience that in my life.

 

I hope you are having a great holiday! Again, thank you for all your help. I could not have remained off the drug if I didn't have this support since the doctor wanted me back on it. I am now on regular release instead of controlled and at 1/3 of my original dose, so I'm going to cling to that accomplishment for now and hope I continue to improve. Perhaps I won't face the horrible side effects with a slower and more gradual taper.

 

 

TDStruggle

On 12/16/2021 at 11:00 PM, manymoretodays said:

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Those all sound like real improvements, and what we would expect from stabilization.

 

Please take care of yourself, keep the recovery going.

[TDstruggle]

I'm having a rough time with pain and fear to the point where I want to give up.  I can tell my husband is starting to give up on this journey, too.

 

The last few days the symptoms have increased with tingling tongue, anxiety, moments of depression, pain that is debilitating, and fear of health and pain. I haven't changed anything so I assume this is a long wave. I've looked through all the documentation and understand each person goes through this at different timelines. However, if I give this another month is there a shot that this will improve more? The pain and fear is tough. My husband has been so supportive through all of this, so I guess his comment yesterday about is this worth it  made me realize after 9 months this is a strain on those around me. I was great on the medication with the only side effects being dry mouth and dry eyes and a little weight gain. I can't possible even think about reducing at this point, not until I know that I can improve.

 

I guess I am just looking for some encouragement that there is a chance that I will beat this pain and fear some day soon. I know I've come a long way in the last month, but it isn't far enough.

 

Thanks for any thoughts. 

TDStruggle

[Altostrata]

How are you feeling before and after taking each dose of venlafaxine?

 

Have you always suffered from health anxiety? How much does your husband's attitude affect your feelings about yourself?

 

It can take a long time to dig out from withdrawal syndrome, I'm sorry to say. Perhaps your husband needs to understand you are coping with a treatment-induced chronic condition.

[TDstruggle]

Altostrata,

 

I wish I could say I felt a specific way before and/or after taking venlafaxine but it varies. Sometimes I feel better after taking it, other times twenty minutes after my tongue tingles and I get anxious. Some days I feel fine and don't see a difference. Other days I get anxious an hour or two before I take the does in the evening.

 

I have no history of suffering from health anxiety until I was diagnosed with postpartum six months after I had my third child (At the age of 35). But, again, I stopped taking Ultracet (I took for several months for herniated discs since doctor said it wasn't habit forming) and thats when the anxiety started and I was put on Venlafaxine. Prior to this episode, I had never had anxiety issues or fear of pain/life/health more than anyone else. I was great for the 14 years I took the Venlafaxine until April 2021 when I discontinued. 

 

My husband has been amazingly supportive through all of this. However, I think 9 months of this has us both questioning if I will ever be 100% again. We agreed to give it another 30 days and then reevaluate. I will say that this has been a long wave if that is what I am in. I guess I just was hoping that if I stayed at my current dosage I'd eventually feel 'normal' again. Is there hope for that? If so, should I continue seeing improvements over the next month?

 

Thank you for your time and input. I greatly appreciate it.

[Altostrata]

I'm sorry I cannot tell you and your husband this will all be over in a month. If you have health anxiety, you will need to manage it. Your getting upset about your symptoms can make this a lot harder. See 

 

Health anxiety, hypochondria, and obsession with symptoms

 

On 12/27/2021 at 4:11 PM, TDstruggle said:

What has improved: nausea, upset stomach, brain zaps, depression, hopelessness (still some but not as intense), Darkness (still there but not as suffocating), Brain fog is clearing the last day or so. I managed to write 2k words yesterday and began working on a 2022 business plan.

Still hoping to improve: fear, sleep (although I am now sleeping through the night until around 7:00AM), dealing with pain, tingling tongue (although this is not as often as before).

 

You have seen significant improvement after reinstating only a month ago. If you're sleeping through the night until around 7:00 a.m., that's pretty good. It looks like the tongue tingling may be going away. Please explain more about the fear and pain.

 

You can expect continued slow improvement, but you will have to be patient, working through the symptoms as best you can. You may continue to have The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Generally, we're don't like to mess with something that appears to be working. What are your expectations?

 

[TDstruggle]

I have made no changes to meds, but I am afraid I have taken a turn for the worst. It has been over a week of anxiety, insomnia, depression, nausea, rolling waves of anxiety, fatigue, fear, difficult to leave bed, etc... 

I'm not sure why this is happening after I appeared to be having windows and waves in the beginning. I haven't had a 'window' in weeks. I'm getting scared now that even if I reinstate the medication that I won't improve. It's been 10 months with no real improvement. 

 

Is it normal to have a 'relapse' of the worst symptoms? I'm frightened that the suicidal thoughts will return next.

 

Thank you in advance for your insights. I'm trying to continue my fight in this battle but I feel like I'm losing.  I'm exhausted. 

[manymoretodays]

Hi TDstruggle,

And thanks for checking in and updating.

Sorry to hear that your WD symptoms are rearing up again and you are feeling exhausted.

Has anything else changed prior to the last weeks of symptoms?

 

Have you ingested alcohol, or any other psychoactives?  Pressure to return to full wellness before your body/spirit/mind are ready?  Or to get things done?

The first week of a new year can be filled with anxiety for even those not in WD.

And it sounds like anxiousness is one of your primary banes.

Are you able to find an assist in helping you practice new coping skills, until you find some that help?

Any help from the links, I posted here: https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/26057-tdstruggle-looking-for-hope/?do=findComment&comment=566175

 

Keep on keeping on, it sounds like you've got a tough case of protracted withdrawal syndrome, and although your reinstatement helped a teeny bit, it did not completely resolve things.  And shoot, I'm sorry.

 

Give us a day or 2 or 3 again, if you would in the Notes format.  You did it before in December.....so I'm hoping you recall.  Times on the left and then your drug by name and dose on the right, as well as any symptoms before and after on the right.

 

Are you taking any supplements.  I can't recall if you had tried Magnesium or Fish Oil/Omega 3's.

We don't recommend a lot of supplements on SA, as many members report being sensitive to them due to our over-reactive nervous systems, but two supplements that we do recommend are magnesium and omega 3 (fish oil). Many people find these to be calming to the nervous system.  

 

Magnesium, nature's calcium channel blocker 

Omega-3 fatty acids (fish oil) 

 

The rule is to just add one new change, or thing at a time though, and always start low, go slow, make observations along the way too.

 

I did see your comment too, about one of the links in the Effexor/venlafaxine being broken.  I'm not finding the replacement for that, so will remove it.  There are still working links in topic, with explanations about how to make a liquid from the immediate release form, and around it's solubility.

Are your still dosing with 6.25 mg immediate release venlafaxine at 7:30 am and 7:30 pm?

I will be able to see the answer to that in your Notes too.  Are you still just cutting pills too?

 

Oh, again, so sorry to hear that you are in the soup of struggling to cope right now.  And the intensity of neuroemotions CAN be fierce.  Sending encouragement, and healing beams your way.

 

Best, L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

[Bestill]

I just wanted to send positive vibes and let me you know how strong you have been.  I hope you find your relief soon!

[TDstruggle]

Hi Manymoretoday,

 

Thank you for your response. I haven't changed any medication. I avoid alcohol and I am trying to eat healthy. However, exercise is an issue due to herniating another disc.  I'm trying to walk daily but that is about all I can do right now.

 

Just to clarify, yes, I reinstated Venlafaxine but at only a 1/3 of the original dosage. I was originally on 37.5 CR and I am now on about 12.5 mg regular release. I'm scared I'm never going to get better at this point. Not even if I went back on the original dosage. It's been a loooong 10 months.  

 

Thank you for all your help!!

 

Date: 1/9/2022

 

5:45 AM woke to rolling anxiety and feeling flu-like

8:00 AM got out of bed and watched tv with husband

8:30 AM took 6.25 mg Venlafaxine

8:45 AM tongue tingling. Nausea a little better.

10:00 AM ate half a pancake and went back to bed.

Noon: Don't want to get out of bed. I want to fade away, but I forced myself to get up and I managed to fold laundry. I was so weak, hard to do anything. Anxious and stomach upset but less than early morning.
1:30 PM drove son to birthday party

2:00PM Tried to work some but gave up and watched television.

3:30PM played some cards with husband (I hate watching tv so he started playing cards with me to help distract me from how awful I feel)

4:30 Picked up son and drove him to dinner for part two of birthday party. I waited in parking lot so I didn't have to drive tired.
5:30 PM returned to finish card game with husband

6:30 managed to eat half a fillet and water. I couldn't stomach any greens.

7:00-10:00PM watched tv

8:00 PM anxiety started to pick  up.

8:30 PM took 6.25 mg venlafaxine

10:00PM exhausted went to bed and fell to sleep quickly.

 

Date: 1/10/2022

3:48 AM woke to major panic wave and then hot flash. Worst morning in over a month.

6:00 AM gave up trying to sleep and got out of bed (Nausea, stomach upset, exhausted, anxious, burning skin, memory issues)

7:00 AM got kids off to school

7:40 AM left for blood work (Hard to stay awake to drive. So tired yet rolling anxiety)

8:30 AM - 6.25 mg Venlafaxine

8:45 AM drank water and ate a few almonds

9:00AM tried to work but can't. 

9:30 AM tongue tingling but nausea better. Anxiety a little less.

10:00 AM Hoping to get a nap soon.

 

I will try to journal the next couple of days. My memory is so bad right now I'm having issues remembering some of what I did the last two days.

 

I read through all the literature and links. I've been trying to use breathing exercises and acceptance and rolling with them. I will try to get more exercise since that is the only thing I'm lacking. 

 

 

 

[Altostrata]

Have you accidentally forgotten any doses or taken them off-schedule?

 

What is the status of the tongue tingling now?

[TDstruggle]

19 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Have you accidentally forgotten any doses or taken them off-schedule?

 

What is the status of the tongue tingling now?

No, I haven’t missed any doses.

Yes, my tongue is still tingling.

 

I had a couple of hours that were better today. I managed to sleep until 6:00AM but still struggling with the rest. 
 

 

[Altostrata]

When is the tongue tingling worst? Is it better or worse after you take each dose of venlafaxine?

[TDstruggle]

2 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

When is the tongue tingling worst? Is it better or worse after you take each dose of venlafaxine?

I have it on and off all day. I have had it ever sense I went off Venlafaxine originally. I had it when I took Prozac also. I do get a tip of the tongue tingling ten minutes after taking it, though. 

[Altostrata]

1 minute ago, TDstruggle said:

I do get a tip of the tongue tingling ten minutes after taking it, though. 

 

Is this consistent? How long does it last?

[TDstruggle]

I have the tingling tongue on and off all day. 
it comes and goes. I had it before I took it tonight.

[Altostrata]

The tongue tingling does not appear to be an adverse effect of venlafaxine. It may be a leftover from withdrawal syndrome.

 

You might increase venlafaxine slightly, to 15mg total per day. How are you measuring your venlafaxine doses?

[TDstruggle]

Altostrata,

At the moment, I am cutting pills. I was going to make the liquid compound but the link to directions on how to do that didn’t work. I am going to try to find a pharmacy that will make the compound for me. Unless  you know of another link on how to make it myself.

 

Thanks for all your help!

[Altostrata]

See Tips for tapering off venlafaxine (Effexor)

[manymoretodays]

23 hours ago, TDstruggle said:

Altostrata,

At the moment, I am cutting pills. I was going to make the liquid compound but the link to directions on how to do that didn’t work. I am going to try to find a pharmacy that will make the compound for me. Unless  you know of another link on how to make it myself.

 

Thanks for all your help!

 

Hi TDstruggle,

And yes, I know, and am so sorry that you are still in it, so to speak.  And that it has been such a hard 10 months now.

 

And yes, go to the link, Alto gave it to you above.

You are presently using the 25 mg tablets, correct?

Intermediate or regular release, right?

And I am quoting down below directly from the tapering topic.

 

  

On 5/5/2011 at 9:01 PM, Altostrata said:

Make a liquid suspension of immediate-release venlafaxine tablets
Titrating using a liquid is very good for very small measured decreases in dosage, allowing more precise measurements.

• Have immediate-release venlafaxine made into a compounded liquid by a compounding pharmacy.
• Make a solution of immediate-release venlafaxine and water yourself.
  Technically, venlafaxine is water-soluble (http://chemicalland21.com/lifescience/phar/VENLAFAXINE%20HYDROCHLORIDE.htm ) There are reports that you can make a solution yourself.  Also see How to make a liquid from tablets or capsules
•  
• According to Allen, L. V. (2016). Compounding: Venlafaxine Hydrochloride 15 mg/mL. U.S. Pharmacist, 41(11), 43–44, a compounded liquid retains potency for 28 days. Recommend keeping a homemade liquid no longer than 7 days, in a dark, tightly capped container in the refrigerator to avoid light degradation and spoilage.
• Because its half-life is so short, immediate-release venlafaxine is taken 2 or 3 times a day.

 

 

And yes, compounding is one option for doing a liquid.

The other would be a home made.  The link that went obsolete(it just was linked to awhile ago, and then sometimes they just no longer link up anymore) was just reports on making homemade solutions.  It was from Drugs.com, but I could not re-find it.

You can go to How to make a liquid from tablets or capsule,  that link is above, in the quote, and see how you would make your own liquid too.  And one of the working links, even shows that it is soluble, your venlafaxine in water.  That's pretty good, when or if, you want to do that.

 

You could do say, 25 mg of venlafaxine to 25 mL of water, and have a one to one concentration even.  We don't recommend keeping homemade solutions for too long, but generally store it in the fridge, protected from light, and use within 3-7 days, is good advice I think.

 

So, with a 1 mg per 1 mL solution, your mL(volume) and mg(dose strength) would be the same.  With your present dose, you'd do 6.25 mL morning and evening. 

 

You would want to carefully cross over to liquid though, rather than just go straight to liquid from solid.  Here is the link on doing that:

Cross Over: Changing form(e.g. tablet to liquid) of drug OR.......

Take a look, read that over ^, and then keep in mind that if and when you go to liquid, you again listen to your body, and the rate of each step, can be adjusted as needed.

 

Then, you could try 15 mg/day of your venlafaxine too, by doing 7.5 mg in the morning and then 7.5 mg again in the evening.

 

So anyway, let me know if you have more questions about making your own liquid venlafaxine.  Okay?  You may need to crush a tablet to get it to dissolve, but first I would put it in a container, add some distilled room temperature water, and see if it dissolves on it's own.  I did make a do it yourself liquid with my last drug oxcarbazapine/Trileptal, and it did dissolve on it's own.  It took a little while.  Not more than half an hour, as I recall.  And as you read through the "How to make a liquid" topic you'll see it described, how we swirl, or gently shake our solutions before drawing them up too.

If it doesn't dissolve you pulverize it first.

 

Again, I don't want to overwhelm you about this from the get go.  And so look at the links, don't freak out.......write out any questions you might want to ask, and then ask them here, on your page.

 

The equipment needed is pretty easy to get too.  Mixing containers with lids, oral syringes can be often found on Amazon.  Some pharmacies will give away oral 5 mL syringes too.  Costco gave me several when I asked.  I don't know if you have Costco where you are at, but they were helpful.  I even talked with a pharmacist there once, and shared my last tapering with him, I was checking some of my supplement interactions with him.  He almost seemed supportive of what I was doing.  I think he was!

 

I thought I saw you asking me if you would ever get better too.  Yes TDstruggle, I think you will.  It's hard I know, and I just want to say I think you are doing some valiant work, with hubs and kids, and keeping going with it all now.  And thank you, you did a great job of NOTES again. 

And if Alto thinks updose, well, I agree......it might be just the thing you need now.  Doing it slow and steady.  And then if things improve, like they did, however briefly with your reinstatement.  It may be more long lasting too, the improvement.  Then, you just sit tight for sometimes several months, and then attempt a nice slow taper again, at a later date.

 

Okay, mull things over now, do your reading.  Talk to hubs too even, as I think you have said that is helpful for you now, and he's supportive......and then let us know.  Or ask more questions.  Whatever.

 

Yes.  You too, will get better.  Believe it!  Sending vibes, patience, healing, whatever you need......angels, respite angels and comfort.  Loads of comfort.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

 

Edited January 13, 2022 by manymoretodays
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[TDstruggle]

To whom ever might be able to help,

 

Seven weeks ago to the day, Friday, January 13th,  I returned to my original dose of Venlafaxine (37.5 CR one time a day at night). I'd reached my limit after a ten month battle and couldn't hold on any longer. I was embarrassed and felt like a failure so I didn't post about this change. My PC told me I wasn't improving and I agreed. She told me I'd probably need to go to 75 mg CR to balance but I didn't listen and I began taking my 37.5 CR.

 

After two weeks, I started to improve. Yes, I still had symptoms (tongue tingling and anxiety mostly) but I was able to function. I actually managed to work, take care of my house, children, husband. Although, the tingling tongue and some waves of anxiety would hit it was manageable and I felt blessed to have a life again. I was so desperate to have some sort of normalcy back, I convinced myself that if I continued that things would eventually improve and I'd return to my pre-discontinuation self. 

 

Last Thursday, February 24th, my anxiety began to kick up again. Tongue tingling increased and some mini-panic attacks occurred.  I chalked it up to still getting better and told myself it would take time to return to how I felt before this nightmare of a journey began. 

 

Yesterday, the anxiety kicked up even more. I made excuses that it was my fault that I needed to handle things better, and told myself there was no reason for concern because I'm back on the meds.

 

Today, at 11:00 AM, a depressive state hit so hard I almost burst into tears in the middle of physical therapy. I managed to get to my car, but I could only sit. I couldn't move for several minutes, as if it would be too difficult. I decided it was a "moment" and it would pass. I went to the grocery store and home and at that point I had to face facts. ALL my symptoms had returned; digestive issues, panic attacks, rolling anxiety, depression, intense pins and needles on my tongue, sense of hopelessness, unable to concentrate, etc... 

 

It is seven weeks to the day since I returned to the original dosage of my meds. When I went off of them ten or eleven months ago, there was an eight week delay before it hit so hard I couldn't breathe and almost took my own life. *I have no history of suicidal thoughts or ANY of these symptoms even before taking Venlafaxine excluding some anxiety*  I do not want to let it get to that point again. It shouldn't, right? I mean, I'm on medication. *sigh*

 

Okay, so that is my confession of losing the battle and returning to meds and my cry on the page asking for help.

 

If anyone has any input of why this is happening please let me know. Will it continue getting worse? Is there still a chance I will improve? Should I break down and finally go see a real psychiatrist instead of my PC and a telehealth psych nurse who gave up on me and tried to give me an antipsychotic? Why did I improve substantially only to fall back down again with no med changes over the seven weeks?

 

I apologize for my plea and long winded post but I cannot return to the person I was a few months ago. Do I want off the meds, yes! Do I want to be stable first, yes! 

Can I get stable? I don't know.

 

Thank you for taking the time to read this and to provide any advice if you have any.

 

Here is a summary of dates and events:

January 13th upped from 25 mg Venlafaxine to original dose of 37.5 CR Venlafaxine

mini-improvement January 13th-27th (Able to start eating and did some work.)

more improvement January 28th- February 18th (Wrote a book and worked, feeling able to function more. Creativity pouring out of me. Ready to start the next book. Able to eat. Wanted to leave the house.

Still doing well but not more improvement, perhaps a little increase in symptoms February 18th - 24th (Still working and creative. Just more tingling tongue and rolling anxiety)

February 24th- 28th - noticeable increase but manageable. (Still working but anxiety is more frequent and distracting)

March 2nd during the day, worse and becoming bothersome (anxiety, tingling tongue)

March 2nd evening, increase of anxiety and lack of concentration

March 3rd woke with some anxiety but manageable

march 3rd 11:00 AM to now - All symptoms returned (nausea, digestive, sense of hopelessness, worry, can't focus, don't want to eat. Don't want to move but can't sit still. It is hell)

 

*I have not missed any pills, I do not drink alcohol, and I am exercising and eating well. 

[Altostrata]

Hello, @TDstruggle Ordinarily, we advise reinstatement of a much smaller dose. Did your doctor advise you to take 37.5mg? Did you discuss your adverse effects with your doctor?

[TDstruggle]

3 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Hello, @TDstruggle Ordinarily, we advise reinstatement of a much smaller dose. Did your doctor advise you to take 37.5mg? Did you discuss your adverse effects with your doctor?

Thank you for your response.

 

I was at 25mg when we reinstated. I had minor improvement but not much over eight weeks. This gave me significant improvement but then deteriorated. Yes, she was aware and wanted me to go to 75 mg but I refused and agreed to try the 37.5 controlled release. This is the primary care physician that took me off of it originally. 

[Altostrata]

5 minutes ago, TDstruggle said:

I had minor improvement

 

We would have told you to leave well enough alone.

 

You told your doctor about your current symptoms and she wants you to increase your dose because why?

 

We cannot provide backup if you're following your doctor's instructions. What is your current question?

[TDstruggle]

I am sorry if I troubled you. I was doing terrible at 25 mg at 12 weeks. I had minor improvement but it didn’t last. I was not able to function. I wanted my life back and I was desperate. I will not post again. My apologies. 

[Altostrata]

If you have adverse effects from the increased dosage, what would you want to do?