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Erimus: my introduction and journal


Erimus

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  • Moderator

Update: 8th Feb 2022

 

Still being ripped apart by these symptoms every day. Vibrating in legs, head/eye pressure, jaw pressure and bruxism, restlessness, restless legs, shallow breathing, muscle rigidity in legs, dizzy when I stand up. Indigestion is creeping back in.

 

Feel like my nervous system is about to crash again. Just feel so lost and lonely, unsure what to do. Just seem to be stuck in a cycle of nervous system crashing, followed by just constant adrenaline for a few more weeks or months.


Keep questioning myself if I’m doing the right thing holding on 50mg if I feel this terrible, will I ever stabilise? I don’t know. I’ve felt terrible ever since starting this drug in October 2020.


Always trying to do the right thing after reading all the information on this website, it’s hard to keep taking the drug every day at this point. Feel like I may as well begin my taper, how much worse can it be?

 

 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

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  • Moderator

I hate the way people around me don’t understand what I’m going through. They don’t seem to believe it’s withdrawal or the drugs causing this, they think I’m just mentally unstable or ill and I need to see more doctors or a psychiatrist for some magical diagnosis and cure. This forum is the only place I can go where I feel safe expressing my views without backlash. Nobody believes all the symptoms I have are from the drugs, it hurts me to be diminished.

 

 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment

I have experienced exactly the same disbelief from most people and doctors. I don't know what the solution is but I'm sure glad to have this forum. It's truly a life line. You qre safe here we all know exactly what these drugs have done to us. 

11 July 2018 3.75mg zopiclone 14 days missed one dose at least doubled one dose 

22 July 2018 2 mg Valium one week ish

30/july/18 quetiapine 25

31/july/2018 quetiapine 100

1/August/2018 quetiapine 200

14/August/2018 quetiapine 100

14/ September /2018 Quetiapine 87.5mg

Not doing so well on this drop. 

many changes up and down as doctors didn't believe me when I said I needed to go slowly down. Withdrawal became impossible to function and I was hospitalised. 

Feb 2021- now  10 mg olanzapine 

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  • Moderator

@LilabellaIt’s a lonely existence when all those you love and trust think they know what it best for you. I just wish my family would trust me and give me the time and patience I want to deal with this process. It frustrates me when they tell me how difficult the situation is for them, when I am the one living the nightmare each day. 
 

I just wish to be left, I know what is best for my body and mind. Not anybody else. 
 

Good to see you’re preparing to start your taper soon.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment

Yes I understand. Its very difficult I agree. I don't think it's easy for people to understand withdrawal if they haven't experienced it- it just looks like severe mental illness which is what my family have decided I have. I know the truth though and just try to stay strong and hold to my truth. Not so easy at times! 

11 July 2018 3.75mg zopiclone 14 days missed one dose at least doubled one dose 

22 July 2018 2 mg Valium one week ish

30/july/18 quetiapine 25

31/july/2018 quetiapine 100

1/August/2018 quetiapine 200

14/August/2018 quetiapine 100

14/ September /2018 Quetiapine 87.5mg

Not doing so well on this drop. 

many changes up and down as doctors didn't believe me when I said I needed to go slowly down. Withdrawal became impossible to function and I was hospitalised. 

Feb 2021- now  10 mg olanzapine 

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  • Moderator

@Lilabella We already have it hard enough battling our own mind and body every waking minute of each day. We don’t need the extra strain of battling others about it.
 

Quite a few of my family take anti-depressants but haven’t experienced the hell I have with them, so they’re quick to diminish what I feel because they think if it doesn’t happen to them it can’t be real.
 

These drugs have completely broken and ripped me apart in many ways but they won’t ever break my spirit.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
edited at request of member

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

I’ve hit a wave where I feel as worse as I’ve ever felt, after a brief window of not feeling this bad. It’s hard to cope when you are shown some brief optimism to be smashed down to the lowest of the low. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

I hate the way I’m so sensitive to the drugs and dose changes. It’s been almost 5 months since I dropped from 75mg to 50mg sertraline and it’s still hell. My mood is still erratic and my emotions are all over the place. I’m still being crushed by physical symptoms as well. 
 

I had a really intense emotional episode come on this afternoon where I felt consumed by sadness and my eyes welled up with tears. It’s so hard to cope with. The guilt that consumes me wishing I never started the drug is awful.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment

I’m sorry you’re having a rough time @Erimus

 

Try and let go of the guilt. It wasn’t your fault. If you had known then what you know now you never would have taken those meds in the first place. You didn’t know. You made the choice with limited info so it was the best choice at the time.

 

I also found the drop from 75-50mg tough. But i’ve learned from that so I won’t let that happen again. You will stabilise and then you can carry on tapering with your new found knowledge. 
 

Take care of yourself and hang in there x

Sertraline (Lustral):  2014. Sept 50mg. Oct 100mg. Dec 150mg. 2015-2019. 150mg. 2019  Apr-May 0mg. Beg May 150mg. End May 100mg. Late June 125mg. Late Aug 100mg. 2020 Jan 75mg. April 50mg.

2022  50mg. 1Jan 45mg. 1Feb 40.5mg. Water T24Feb 39.5mg. 3Mar 38.5mg. 18Mar 38mg. 25Mar 37.5mg. 22Apr 37mg. 5May 36.5mg. 18May 36mg. 1Jun 35.3mg. 15Jun 34.5mg.  30Jun 34mg. 15Jul 33.5mg. 22Jul 33mg. 5Aug 32.5mg. 19Aug 32mg. 1Sept 31.5mg. 1Oct 31mg.  27 Oct 30.5. 16 Nov 30mg. 30 Nov 29.5mg. 14 Dec 29mg

2023. 2 Jan 28.5mg. 6 Feb 28mg. 10 Mar 27.5mg. 1 Apr 26.5mg. 1 May 26mg. 1 Jun 25.5mg. 1 Jul 25mg. 1 Aug 24.5mg. 17 Aug 24mg. 5 Sept 23.5mg. 9 Oct 23mg.

 

Desogestrel:  2014 -  present:  

Supplements Magnesium. 400mcg  Vitamin D. 10mcg.  Multivit/min. 1 tab. B Complex

 

Certirizine:   2022 May 10mg. Dec 20mg. 2023. 15mg.

 Omeprazole.:  2016 20mg. 2022  20mg.  15Jan 15mg. 9Feb 10mg. 25Feb 6.5mg. 15Mar 3mg. 3Apr 1.5mg.  15Apr 0mg   2023. 20mg. 15 Sept 15mg.

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  • Moderator

@Blossom71Thanks for your kind words. I have a lot of anger for what the drug has done and I feel it has a grip of me. When I have days like today I lose all rational sense, just a couple days ago I was a completely different person. 
 

It hurts me seeing the pain I inflict on my poor mother, as she watches me suffer through this and I have to keep telling her there’s nothing she can do to make it better. That’s the worst part.

 

Its good to see others like yourself making progress, as I hope I will in the near future.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment

Oh I get the anger @Erimus

The more I learn the more angry I am and I find mine is just simmering below the surface and making me irritable.  But, I am slowly starting to accept it as I realise that there is bugger all I can do about what’s passed.  And it was preventing me from moving forward, and I don’t want that.

I am actually finding taking charge of my own destiny quite liberating, although I appreciate that it’s really hard to feel that way on the bad days. 

Sertraline (Lustral):  2014. Sept 50mg. Oct 100mg. Dec 150mg. 2015-2019. 150mg. 2019  Apr-May 0mg. Beg May 150mg. End May 100mg. Late June 125mg. Late Aug 100mg. 2020 Jan 75mg. April 50mg.

2022  50mg. 1Jan 45mg. 1Feb 40.5mg. Water T24Feb 39.5mg. 3Mar 38.5mg. 18Mar 38mg. 25Mar 37.5mg. 22Apr 37mg. 5May 36.5mg. 18May 36mg. 1Jun 35.3mg. 15Jun 34.5mg.  30Jun 34mg. 15Jul 33.5mg. 22Jul 33mg. 5Aug 32.5mg. 19Aug 32mg. 1Sept 31.5mg. 1Oct 31mg.  27 Oct 30.5. 16 Nov 30mg. 30 Nov 29.5mg. 14 Dec 29mg

2023. 2 Jan 28.5mg. 6 Feb 28mg. 10 Mar 27.5mg. 1 Apr 26.5mg. 1 May 26mg. 1 Jun 25.5mg. 1 Jul 25mg. 1 Aug 24.5mg. 17 Aug 24mg. 5 Sept 23.5mg. 9 Oct 23mg.

 

Desogestrel:  2014 -  present:  

Supplements Magnesium. 400mcg  Vitamin D. 10mcg.  Multivit/min. 1 tab. B Complex

 

Certirizine:   2022 May 10mg. Dec 20mg. 2023. 15mg.

 Omeprazole.:  2016 20mg. 2022  20mg.  15Jan 15mg. 9Feb 10mg. 25Feb 6.5mg. 15Mar 3mg. 3Apr 1.5mg.  15Apr 0mg   2023. 20mg. 15 Sept 15mg.

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  • Moderator

@Blossom71 On days like today I have so much anger pent up within me, it only takes a small thing to make me snap. It upsets me because before all this I was never an angry person, I was compassionate and caring. I have to try hard to refrain from snapping at my family, they don’t deserve it and it’s not me.

 

The feeling of lost time is rather destroying as well. When you’re only 21 you feel like you should be taking on the world. I need to find a way to work around these unhelpful thoughts.

 

Edited by ChessieCat
edited at request of member

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment

I wonder whether it’s the more caring and compassionate people who end up in our situation and on meds. I am an empath who absorbs others struggles and feel them deeply. I am getting much better as I get older at not absorbing others pain, but it’s been hard.

 

I’m also someone who used to keep my feeling inside and they tended to come out eventually as major upset or anger. I’m getting better at expressing my feelings in a calm way rather than keeping them in until I snap but I’m still (and will always be) a work in progress.
 

Finding a way to deal with and work your way around the unhelpful thoughts I think is the key to us getting off the meds, and staying healthy without them.  Anything you do to help that now will stand you in good stead for that.
 

Take care @Erimus

Sertraline (Lustral):  2014. Sept 50mg. Oct 100mg. Dec 150mg. 2015-2019. 150mg. 2019  Apr-May 0mg. Beg May 150mg. End May 100mg. Late June 125mg. Late Aug 100mg. 2020 Jan 75mg. April 50mg.

2022  50mg. 1Jan 45mg. 1Feb 40.5mg. Water T24Feb 39.5mg. 3Mar 38.5mg. 18Mar 38mg. 25Mar 37.5mg. 22Apr 37mg. 5May 36.5mg. 18May 36mg. 1Jun 35.3mg. 15Jun 34.5mg.  30Jun 34mg. 15Jul 33.5mg. 22Jul 33mg. 5Aug 32.5mg. 19Aug 32mg. 1Sept 31.5mg. 1Oct 31mg.  27 Oct 30.5. 16 Nov 30mg. 30 Nov 29.5mg. 14 Dec 29mg

2023. 2 Jan 28.5mg. 6 Feb 28mg. 10 Mar 27.5mg. 1 Apr 26.5mg. 1 May 26mg. 1 Jun 25.5mg. 1 Jul 25mg. 1 Aug 24.5mg. 17 Aug 24mg. 5 Sept 23.5mg. 9 Oct 23mg.

 

Desogestrel:  2014 -  present:  

Supplements Magnesium. 400mcg  Vitamin D. 10mcg.  Multivit/min. 1 tab. B Complex

 

Certirizine:   2022 May 10mg. Dec 20mg. 2023. 15mg.

 Omeprazole.:  2016 20mg. 2022  20mg.  15Jan 15mg. 9Feb 10mg. 25Feb 6.5mg. 15Mar 3mg. 3Apr 1.5mg.  15Apr 0mg   2023. 20mg. 15 Sept 15mg.

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  • Moderator

I’m experiencing intense flu-like symptoms at the moment (body aches and cold shivers). These tend to be worst first thing on a morning before I take the sertraline, and late in the evening. I’m assuming this is due to withdrawal from the sertraline, and my nervous system still struggling to adjust to the lowered dose. They seem to improve an hour or so after taking the sertraline at 1100.

 

I experienced a similar pattern of symptoms in November 2021, leading up to when I crashed on December 6th 2021. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

I came across a great video by a chap called Will Hall, and the harm reduction approach to tapering. One line that particularly stood out to me’ “allow yourself the flexibility to learn as you go”.


It really strikes me as I struggle with the prospect of my tapering timeline. I think we all get those thoughts where we want to get off as quick as possible, sometimes you just need that rational input from someone to kick you back into reality.

 

Video link is here - 

 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
9 hours ago, Erimus said:

It really strikes me as I struggle with the prospect of my tapering timeline. I think we all get those thoughts where we want to get off as quick as possible, sometimes you just need that rational input from someone to kick you back into reality.

 

I posted the following to another member in October last year and it is ironic because they posted yesterday saying they felt impatient so I reminded them of this post.  Please read the whole post, not just the summary that is visible:

 

  

On 10/29/2021 at 8:22 AM, ChessieCat said:

I am glad that you are aware that your taper could take a long time.  It may help you to remain patient during that time.  However, please expect that there will be times when you start being tempted to go faster.  I think it is understandable.  We can get the stage where we just want it over and done with.  If/when that happens please post about it here in your Introduction topic.  It was very helpful for me when I got impatient.  It was good to get support from other members; people experiencing tapering and withdrawal are the only ones who truly understand this journey.  However, I also found that typing out my musings would get it out of my head and quite often by the end of my post I would realise how silly it was to go faster.

 

Good luck, and remember, taper according to your body/symptoms, not the calendar.  And hold for longer if there are any times when there is additional stress (good and bad; members taking holidays have experienced waves) in your life, or you are sick.

 

And only one change at a time.  And another thing to consider.  Even if you are going okay with your taper, sometimes it is nice to take a break for a while and give yourself a rest.  I did 2 long holds during my taper, one of 3 months and another of 7 weeks.  Things were going well but even though I was feeling okay I thought it would be good to hold and give my brain a chance to make any adjustments that it might need to do that I wasn't able to notice.

 

And do not put everything down to withdrawal.  If you hit a rough patch, do some detective work and think about what else might have happened.  And if you get a symptom that could possibly be a medical issue not related to withdrawal, it is better to get it checked out, not only to get quick treatment, but also to allay any fears, which adds stress.

 

Please continue to update your Intro topic and remember to come back to write your success story once you are recovered and been off for at least 1 year.  I know that is a long way off, but other members find it very encouraging to be able to read about people who have managed to get off their drug.  Thank you.

 

Edited by ChessieCat

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
  • Moderator

@ChessieCatYes, many thanks for compounding my senseless thoughts. I notice that this thought pattern only really occurs when my brain is thinking irrationally, but it is perhaps a good thing that I have begun to notice this trend.

 

The hardest part is trying to be rational when the brain is behaving irrationally haha. I’ve come to realise now that the best chance I have at succeeding in withdrawal is by holding at this moment in time. It’s difficult because I feel I am not doing anything but I keep reminding myself that I am actually allowing my body to catch up from the chaos of the last year.

 

Many thanks 

Erimus

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus
14 hours ago, Erimus said:

I notice that this thought pattern only really occurs when my brain is thinking irrationally,

 

It's interesting that you state this, because as posted in that quote, I would often find by the time I typed up my respond I had started "thinking straighter".

 

14 hours ago, Erimus said:

It’s difficult because I feel I am not doing anything but I keep reminding myself that I am actually allowing my body to catch up from the chaos of the last year.

 

Exactly!  You are doing something.  I'm sure you don't think of sleeping as doing nothing.  We think of sleeping as resting because our bodies need rest.  So does the brain.

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Feeling restless and agitated tonight. Hands down the most unpleasant of all the symptoms I experience. Can’t sit still and have that sort of chemical anxiety/fear feeling hanging over me. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Scratch that, restless arms is the most excruciating thing I have experienced in my life. Makes me want to scream because of the constant urge to move my arms when I try to sleep. Can’t believe what these drugs have done to me.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator Emeritus

* NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA *

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED:  (6 year taper)      0mg Pristiq  on 13th November 2021

ADs since ~1992:  25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq:  50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity)  Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021   LAST DOSE 0.0025mg

Post 0 updates start here    My tapering program     My Intro (goes to tapering graph)

 VIDEO:   Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management

Link to comment
  • Moderator

21st Feb:

 

Another real bad day today. Mood is erratic to say the least, legs vibrating/buzzing on and off all day. Flu-like symptoms pretty bad, indigestion causing me trouble again. Anxiety has been difficult for the last 3-5 days as well. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

For my records: 22nd Feb 

 

Another real rough day today, following on from yesterday.

 

 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

I think it’s important for me to understand that I’m never going to be symptom free or ‘good’ whilst on the medication. The difficult part is understanding when the withdrawal process has stopped and what I’m experiencing each day is just the adverse affects the drug has on me.

 

Ever since starting sertraline in October 2020 I’ve never felt good, but I did reach a point from Feb-March 2021 where things were more or less the same level of rubbish each day. I guess that it was I need to aim for, and what I would consider to be my withdrawal normal.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

For my records: 23rd Feb

 

Another bad day at the office for me. Not a happy camper at the moment. Consumed by anxiety/fear this evening after a rough day of head pressure, facial grimacing and fatigue.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

For my records: 24th Feb

 

Another day of anxiety, been bad all week with it. Digestive problems to boot as well; constipation, reflux etc

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • Moderator

5th March:

 

Flu-like symptoms (chills, shivering, body aches, fatigue), head pressure, eye pressure

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Getting battered by symptoms today. Exactly 9 days after the last peak on Feb 24th. Always seems to follow this pattern where it builds up until it reaches its peak on day 8-10ish. Then it resets and start building up again. Wonder how long this will go on for. It’s been 5.5 months since I dropped from 75 to 50mg, and 3 months since I crashed. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Sometimes I feel like I may as well have cold turkeyed the medication because of the amount of disruption it’s caused. I can imagine cold turkey is somewhat comparable to what I’ve experienced in the last 10.5 months with the 3 dose changes I’ve done in that time. If i’d have stopped in May 2021 I’d probably be feeling similar to how bad I feel now, yet I’m still taking the things.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
  • Moderator

Another day, another dawn. Each day that passes is a day closer to health. I’m looking forward to reaching a point where I’m relaxed enough to sit and read. At the moment the restlessness, agitation and anxiety make it almost impossible to sit still, never mind read, for large parts of the day. I still spend an awful lot of time in fight or flight mode each day. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment
3 hours ago, Erimus said:

Another day, another dawn. Each day that passes is a day closer to health. I’m looking forward to reaching a point where I’m relaxed enough to sit and read. At the moment the restlessness, agitation and anxiety make it almost impossible to sit still, never mind read, for large parts of the day. I still spend an awful lot of time in fight or flight mode each day. 

Sorry to hear how tough things are for you @Erimus. I share in your hope for the future. Although I am still suffering hugely, I am now able to sit and watch TV which I couldn’t do this time a year ago - the thought of being still terrified me and I was jumping out of my skin. I hope this passes for you soon too and the feelings of restlessness settle. You’re doing a good job of documenting your journey, it definitely helps to look back on the good and bad days. Hang on in there. 

Mid-August 2020 - started 15mg Mirtazapine, increased to 30mg 2 weeks later. Late-September 2020 - switched to 20mg Paroxetine as Mirtazapine exacerbated RLS. October 2020 - stopped Paroxetine because of worsening RLS, muscle twitching and general restlessness.

Mid-October 2020 - Switched to 50mg Sertraline. Restlessness, muscle twitching and other symptoms even worse. Stopped taking it on 18 November following advice from GP - took every other day for a week before stopping completely. Mid-November 2020 - GP prescribed Propranolol to take as and when required for anxiety. Have only taken a few times as it makes me very light headed. January 2020 - currently taking magnesium citrate powder in evenings to help with RLS. Also taking high strength omega-3 fish oil. 
 

 

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  • Moderator

Thanks @HealthHopeHappiness. Yes, I find it hard but I watch the TV from around 8-9/10pm most nights. Like yourself at one point I couldn’t even do that. Sometimes it’s hard but I force myself and sometimes I enjoy it a little. I seem to bounce between either extreme fatigue or anxiety/restlessness now each day. The restlessness is at its worse 4-8pm each day.

 

Its vital that we have this support network through this. We are alone in our lives but never alone in our suffering whilst we post on here. The best thing is that everyone here understands what you feel each day. I’m absolutely positive all of us are capable of recovering.

 

Kind regards,

Erimus

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment

Hi @Erimus

 

I held at 50mg for ages and I think it was the best thing I could have done.  I was in really good shape before i started my smaller tapers and I'm sure what's why they have been reasonable smooth sailing so far. I'm not without symptoms and some days they are harder to ignore but they don't stop me going about my daily business. I am just so thankful for the folks here or i would have had no idea, and would have been in a whole world of hurt now.  I hope things level out for you soon

Sertraline (Lustral):  2014. Sept 50mg. Oct 100mg. Dec 150mg. 2015-2019. 150mg. 2019  Apr-May 0mg. Beg May 150mg. End May 100mg. Late June 125mg. Late Aug 100mg. 2020 Jan 75mg. April 50mg.

2022  50mg. 1Jan 45mg. 1Feb 40.5mg. Water T24Feb 39.5mg. 3Mar 38.5mg. 18Mar 38mg. 25Mar 37.5mg. 22Apr 37mg. 5May 36.5mg. 18May 36mg. 1Jun 35.3mg. 15Jun 34.5mg.  30Jun 34mg. 15Jul 33.5mg. 22Jul 33mg. 5Aug 32.5mg. 19Aug 32mg. 1Sept 31.5mg. 1Oct 31mg.  27 Oct 30.5. 16 Nov 30mg. 30 Nov 29.5mg. 14 Dec 29mg

2023. 2 Jan 28.5mg. 6 Feb 28mg. 10 Mar 27.5mg. 1 Apr 26.5mg. 1 May 26mg. 1 Jun 25.5mg. 1 Jul 25mg. 1 Aug 24.5mg. 17 Aug 24mg. 5 Sept 23.5mg. 9 Oct 23mg.

 

Desogestrel:  2014 -  present:  

Supplements Magnesium. 400mcg  Vitamin D. 10mcg.  Multivit/min. 1 tab. B Complex

 

Certirizine:   2022 May 10mg. Dec 20mg. 2023. 15mg.

 Omeprazole.:  2016 20mg. 2022  20mg.  15Jan 15mg. 9Feb 10mg. 25Feb 6.5mg. 15Mar 3mg. 3Apr 1.5mg.  15Apr 0mg   2023. 20mg. 15 Sept 15mg.

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  • Moderator

Yes, we’re much more likely to be successful in tapering if we set the right foundations @Blossom71. I’m planning on holding the sertraline at 50mg until at least September, which would be 12 months on the same dose. I’ve learnt a great amount of patience through this ordeal, to say the least haha.

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment

We are learning patience the hard way @Erimus, especially as we're here for the long haul. I started reducing in 2020 and I reckon it's going to be 2027 when I finally get off.  It took me some time to come to terms with that because I was frustrated and angry, but to be honest it's been much easier since I have.  I like to think i will gradually see the old me returning as i gradually get lower rather than having to wait until I'm off completely. Who knows what the reality will be but it keep me going!

Sertraline (Lustral):  2014. Sept 50mg. Oct 100mg. Dec 150mg. 2015-2019. 150mg. 2019  Apr-May 0mg. Beg May 150mg. End May 100mg. Late June 125mg. Late Aug 100mg. 2020 Jan 75mg. April 50mg.

2022  50mg. 1Jan 45mg. 1Feb 40.5mg. Water T24Feb 39.5mg. 3Mar 38.5mg. 18Mar 38mg. 25Mar 37.5mg. 22Apr 37mg. 5May 36.5mg. 18May 36mg. 1Jun 35.3mg. 15Jun 34.5mg.  30Jun 34mg. 15Jul 33.5mg. 22Jul 33mg. 5Aug 32.5mg. 19Aug 32mg. 1Sept 31.5mg. 1Oct 31mg.  27 Oct 30.5. 16 Nov 30mg. 30 Nov 29.5mg. 14 Dec 29mg

2023. 2 Jan 28.5mg. 6 Feb 28mg. 10 Mar 27.5mg. 1 Apr 26.5mg. 1 May 26mg. 1 Jun 25.5mg. 1 Jul 25mg. 1 Aug 24.5mg. 17 Aug 24mg. 5 Sept 23.5mg. 9 Oct 23mg.

 

Desogestrel:  2014 -  present:  

Supplements Magnesium. 400mcg  Vitamin D. 10mcg.  Multivit/min. 1 tab. B Complex

 

Certirizine:   2022 May 10mg. Dec 20mg. 2023. 15mg.

 Omeprazole.:  2016 20mg. 2022  20mg.  15Jan 15mg. 9Feb 10mg. 25Feb 6.5mg. 15Mar 3mg. 3Apr 1.5mg.  15Apr 0mg   2023. 20mg. 15 Sept 15mg.

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  • Moderator

Yeah it’s quite a daunting prospect. I regularly remind myself that I don’t need to be completely off the drug to regain myself, and if I can taper in a way that still allows me function it’s a bonus. I’ve read a lot of Rhiannon’s posts on micro tapering and I find it helpful when I get down in a hole about it all. 

Active Monday-Friday UK time

 

Taper calculator spreadsheet

 

MEDICATION:

1) Sertraline:

50mg - Oct 2020, 100mg - Dec 2020, 50mg - April 2021, 75mg - May 2021, 50mg - Sep 2021, 55mg - 23 Feb 2024, 60mg - 20 March 2024, Start tapering - 24 April 2024

Current dose: 55.09mg  (1 July 2024)

2) Mirtazapine:

15mg - Nov 2020

SUPPLEMENTS:

Cod liver oil, Magnesium, Vitamin C

Link to comment

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