Sonia009: Citalopram discontinuation/reinstatement

[Sonia009]

4 hours ago, Sonia009 said:

Is this withdrawal? I wake around 6am, I have to sit up for a minute before standing to go to the bathroom, I feel sort of lightheaded and when I lie down again I feel the same way. If I close my eyes I immediately drift off for a second and dream and I wake up straight away in a panic feeling disoriented, lightheaded and half asleep, it scares me. I feel hot and cold, I cry. My tinnitus is raging all the time. Please can someone advise. Thanks.

Can anyone relate or advise pease? Worrying over it is causing me anxiety.

[HelenR]

5 hours ago, Sonia009 said:

@HelenRThanks Helen. My blood press is ok, it's like I am not fully awake and each time I close my eyes I doze off into a dreamlike state and I get frightened and I wake up. How are things with you?

@Sonia009

I've had a good morning thankyou. I made up my mind to visit my parents. It's been 2 months today since I saw them and I was very shocked how much mum has deteriorated in that short time. I did a few chores and sorted finances etc and my partner cut the lawn. Sadly mum isn't appreciative of any of it due to her dementia, she just asks why we are doing things. Such a horrible disease for anyone to have. 

I'm totally exhausted and have gone a bit woozy now I'm home but my mind is at rest for a bit because I've seen them both . Poor mum can hardly swallow food now not sure if it's her brain forgetting how to or if she is in pain from her hernia.

Anyway I'm resting up now myself as I cannot let it ruin my progress.  Sadly it was the stress of my parents over the last two years that got me in this mess. As I mentioned before, the stress was constant for a few years which in turn caused severe gastritis to erode my stomach which then caused chronic anxiety and the introduction of several PPIs and anxiety drugs. That's how I am where I am nowadays but I don't begrudge my parents for needing me, my other sister was next to useless and let me shoulder all responsibilities for our parents. She has finally stepped up due to me being house bound so now she knows how stressful things have gotten.

Well , enough of me, I'm truly sorry to hear your wave is still awful. I do know what dizziness is like as I had Menieres disease 4 years ago which caused constant dizzy spells, nausea and head pressure. It's indescribable in many ways and so debilitating. I really sympathise with you. Glad your blood pressure is ok though. It must be a withdrawal symptoms and you're going through a horrible wave.  Keep strong and I'm here if you need a moan.

[Sonia009]

@HelenR Hi, thanks for replying. I'm so pleased for you that you managed to see your parents because I realise how difficult that must have been for you. I hope you remain in your window. I'm so sorry your mother is not well, it be difficult for or all of you. You mention that stress was the cause of your problems, I think it is mine too. My husband had a TIA almost three years ago and he's still having effects of mental health issues. He has other health issues too. This has impacted on my own health. Today has been a bad day for me but yesterday was better. Strange how a bad day follows a good day. Still not sure what to do about my med, still on 0.5 mg citalopram, nearly five weeks now. I was hoping a moderator could advise but not so far. I hope you continue to feel better.

[FireflyFyte]

On 1/27/2024 at 5:40 AM, Sonia009 said:

4pm, 0.5 mg Citalopram.

5pm, some relief, still tearful, light headed on head movement especially looking down.

 

Is this still your current pattern?

Generally speaking, if you were experiencing an adverse reaction to the Citalopram you would feel worse after dosing and not better which is leading me towards thinking what you are experiencing is withdrawals.

[HelenR]

1 hour ago, Sonia009 said:

@HelenR Hi, thanks for replying. I'm so pleased for you that you managed to see your parents because I realise how difficult that must have been for you. I hope you remain in your window. I'm so sorry your mother is not well, it be difficult for or all of you. You mention that stress was the cause of your problems, I think it is mine too. My husband had a TIA almost three years ago and he's still having effects of mental health issues. He has other health issues too. This has impacted on my own health. Today has been a bad day for me but yesterday was better. Strange how a bad day follows a good day. Still not sure what to do about my med, still on 0.5 mg citalopram, nearly five weeks now. I was hoping a moderator could advise but not so far. I hope you continue to feel better.

@Sonia009 I'm surprised no-one has replied to you as yet. They must all be busy but I'm sure they will advise soon enough. It's always nice to get reassurance from someone who's been through it. I do hope tomorrow brings another reasonable day for you, it's the little rays of hope that keep us going.

So sad about your husband. My dad has had approx 4 TIAs over the last few years and just collapsed out of nowhere. So damn scary. He gave up driving 3 years ago but he should have done it much sooner as he's 88yrs old now!! And yes I do feel stress and anxiety is a real killer for some of us who perhaps are prone to it. I've suffered anxiety since my teens but never this bad until I reached late 50s then the last few years up til now I can't tolerate stress what so ever. You have a lot on your plate and to be honest I don't know how you cope with your husband along with what you are going through. Thank god my partner isn't too unwell so I'm looked after very well compared to some people.

I hope you have some support from elsewhere for yourself.

[Sonia009]

@HelenROh dear, sounds like you have had a lot of stress in your life too. I have a daughter but she travels with her job and she lives some distance away. There is no one else to talk to, my mother is the same age as your dad so I cannot burden her, she wouldn't understand anyway. I think I will stay as I am until Monday and then speak to a doctor. Thanks for your support, much appreciated. x

[Sonia009]

59 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

 

Is this still your current pattern?

Generally speaking, if you were experiencing an adverse reaction to the Citalopram you would feel worse after dosing and not better which is leading me towards thinking what you are experiencing is withdrawals.

@FireflyFyteHi, thanks for responding. Yes this is my current pattern but it's been almost five weeks now and I thought I would have made more progress. I am having the occasional better day but this is usually followed by a bad day. Should increase my dose to 1 mg or stick it out a bit longer? Thank you.

[mstimc]

Just now, Sonia009 said:

Hi, thanks for responding. Yes this is my current pattern but it's been almost five weeks now and I thought I would have made more progress. I am having the occasional better day but this is usually followed by a bad day. Should increase my dose to 1 mg or stick it out a bit longer? Thank you.

Speaking from experience, five weeks really isn't that long.  You need to give yourself time and flexibility when it comes to reducing dosages.  I tried to stick to a schedule as an incentive to move forward with my recovery, but I also listened to my body.  If it took two months instead of four, so be it. The time between a given reduction is far less important than a long-term, steady reduction plan combined with practicing coping tools the deal with withdrawal. 

[Sonia009]

6 minutes ago, mstimc said:

Speaking from experience, five weeks really isn't that long.  You need to give yourself time and flexibility when it comes to reducing dosages.  I tried to stick to a schedule as an incentive to move forward with my recovery, but I also listened to my body.  If it took two months instead of four, so be it. The time between a given reduction is far less important than a long-term, steady reduction plan combined with practicing coping tools the deal with withdrawal. 

@mstimcThanks for responding. I reinstated 0.5 mgs almost five weeks ago after jumping off 5.2 mgs last September. I was wondering whether this was enough considering there has been no considerable improvement or should I increase to 1 mg? Thanks.

[FireflyFyte]

1 hour ago, Sonia009 said:

I am having the occasional better day but this is usually followed by a bad day.

 

It sounds like you are experiencing The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization. Are your windows (periods where you feel OK) increasing?

[Sonia009]

18 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

 

It sounds like you are experiencing The Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization. Are your windows (periods where you feel OK) increasing?

@FireflyFyteHi, I wouldn't say they are increasing, they are few and far between, I had a fairly good day yesterday and prior to that I had a reasonably good day a week earlier.

[Altostrata]

On 1/27/2024 at 2:40 AM, Sonia009 said:

Hi, my symptoms are the same pretty much each day as follows:

7am, wake up, feely dizzy, take my time to get up, keep wanting to drift in and out of sleep but it makes me dizzy to do so. Crying a lot, feeling hopeless, here we go again type of feeling. Muzzy head, tinnitus, full ears. Very anxious, edgy. Freshen up in bathroom.

8am, light breakfast, no real appetite

8.15am, some housework takes around half an hour. Feel hot after it, raised pulse also.

9am, rest on bed with fan on to cool down. That helps.

11 am, 2.5 mg bendroflumethiazide for bp, with a light snack, half hour later feel even worse.

12pm, anadin extra for headache (paracetamol, aspirin, caffeine). Helps with headache nothing else.

Feel pretty much the same until late afternoon.

3pm, cook a meal, eat little.

4pm, 0.5 mg Citalopram.

5pm, some relief, still tearful, light headed on head movement especially looking down.

Try to get on with cooking, clearing away etc.

6pm, shower wash hair.

7pm, back to bed, light snack, watch some tv on small screen, can't watch large screen, sensitive to noise, light.

Generally feel very stressed due to home for circumstances.

8pm, take another anadin extra, if I don't I get a migraine next day.

I may sleep by around 10pm until around 6am unless I'm disturbed or require toimyt a few times. Husband ill has insomnia.I

This has been my pattern for the last few days.

Thanks

 

@Sonia009 we would like to see your daily notes for a few days, 24 hours at a time.

 

It appears you feel worse after you take your blood pressure drug, the dosage might be too high. Please read up on adverse effects of your blood pressure drug. 

 

If it's your blood pressure drug causing the problem, it's not withdrawal.

[Sonia009]

11 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

 

@Sonia009 we would like to see your daily notes for a few days, 24 hours at a time.

 

It appears you feel worse after you take your blood pressure drug, the dosage might be too high. Please read up on adverse effects of your blood pressure drug. 

 

If it's your blood pressure drug causing the problem, it's not withdrawal.

Thank you for replying. I will do as you ask for the next few days. I had so many medication changes since September 2023 which caused a lot of problems, I was in a zombie like state and had to go to A&E. My bloods, ECG, BP, pulse were all fine there. I do wonder whether I had an adverse effect to one of more of them i.e., Propranolol, Amitriptyline, Ramipril, Losartan. I do feel worse after taking my current BP med so this may have to be looked into. I do have many common withdrawal symptoms too which makes it all confusing.

I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

[Sonia009]

I don't think I can write my diary, it's making me more anxious. I realise how I've become worse this past week even, maybe depressed. I was never this as anxious to begin with. I think I need to be on  medication to cope, will have to give this more thought. Thank you.

[bunchesofoats]

@Sonia009 How is today going?

 

Perhaps you can write just a few hours of diary at a time if writing a log of the whole day brings up anxiety. 

 

 

On 2/9/2024 at 9:11 AM, Sonia009 said:

I reinstated 0.5 mgs almost five weeks ago after jumping off 5.2 mgs last September. I was wondering whether this was enough considering there has been no considerable improvement or should I increase to 1 mg? Thanks.

 

Based on what I've read, too much time has passed for reinstatement to be effective. I would not change your citalopram dosage at this time. 

 

 

On 2/10/2024 at 12:26 PM, Altostrata said:

It appears you feel worse after you take your blood pressure drug, the dosage might be too high. Please read up on adverse effects of your blood pressure drug. 

 

This was an astute observation by altostrata. It does seem like the blood pressure medication could be too high for you, based on your increased dizziness and frequent headaches. Changes in blood pressure can result in changes in physical sensations and mental wellbeing. I would speak with your provider about these symptoms and ask them to verify that this is in fact the correct dose for you given your symptoms. Don't let them dismiss your concerns.

 

Maybe eating some fruits like oranges and bananas to increase your electrolyte intake after taking blood pressure medication will mitigate some symptoms. 

[Sonia009]

@bunchesofoatsThanks for your post. I had a bad weekend, blood pressure and pulse escalated, shortness of breath, tiredness, dozy, heightened anxiety. I had to ring the NHS out of hours service because I didn't know what was going on. The doctor had me check my pulse and blood pressure over the phone several times, asked lots of questions and advised me to go to A&E if it worsened otherwise see my doctor the following day. Thankfully in didn't worsen, I think it was a panic attack. I saw my doctor today and my blood pressure, pulse and oxygen levels were perfect. I think Alostrata was correct 're my BP med, he's now taken me off the diuretic bendroflumethiazide and put me on a beta blocker that will help both BP and fast heartbeat, bisoprolol, low dose 1.25 mg, it's also effective for anxiety. He told me to take 10 mgs Citalopram also? I haven't done this yet, I came off 5.2mg last September so 10 mg seem too high. I do need to control my anxiety though.

[HelenR]

1 hour ago, Sonia009 said:

@bunchesofoatsThanks for your post. I had a bad weekend, blood pressure and pulse escalated, shortness of breath, tiredness, dozy, heightened anxiety. I had to ring the NHS out of hours service because I didn't know what was going on. The doctor had me check my pulse and blood pressure over the phone several times, asked lots of questions and advised me to go to A&E if it worsened otherwise see my doctor the following day. Thankfully in didn't worsen, I think it was a panic attack. I saw my doctor today and my blood pressure, pulse and oxygen levels were perfect. I think Alostrata was correct 're my BP med, he's now taken me off the diuretic bendroflumethiazide and put me on a beta blocker that will help both BP and fast heartbeat, bisoprolol, low dose 1.25 mg, it's also effective for anxiety. He told me to take 10 mgs Citalopram also? I haven't done this yet, I came off 5.2mg last September so 10 mg seem too high. I do need to control my anxiety though.

@Sonia009you're going through it aren't you. I'm glad you didn't end up at A&E as that would have caused more anxiety. Our hospital is so under staffed. Last time I was there it took 5 hrs to get some antacids for my gastritis.

Let's hope you will improve in a slight change in your meds. I do feel that jumping up to 10mg citalopram is extreme especially if you managed to get to 0.5mg but I'm no doctor. It just means your body will possibly need a few weeks of adjustment to get used to 10mg. It's a hard decision to make. Maybe see how the bisprolol goes first before any more adjustments.

[Sonia009]

15 minutes ago, HelenR said:

@Sonia009you're going through it aren't you. I'm glad you didn't end up at A&E as that would have caused more anxiety. Our hospital is so under staffed. Last time I was there it took 5 hrs to get some antacids for my gastritis.

Let's hope you will improve in a slight change in your meds. I do feel that jumping up to 10mg citalopram is extreme especially if you managed to get to 0.5mg but I'm no doctor. It just means your body will possibly need a few weeks of adjustment to get used to 10mg. It's a hard decision to make. Maybe see how the bisprolol goes first before any more adjustments.

@HelenRThanks for your post Helen, hope you're still in your window. Yes, I agree, I'll stick with 0.5 mg for now, perhaps that with the anxiety relief effect of my new med it will be sufficient.  If I did increase it would be 5mgs, I'll see how it goes. I started free CBT therapy online with NHS too, I find that helpful, it's called Silvercloud. Best wishes.

[HelenR]

33 minutes ago, Sonia009 said:

@HelenRThanks for your post Helen, hope you're still in your window. Yes, I agree, I'll stick with 0.5 mg for now, perhaps that with the anxiety relief effect of my new med it will be sufficient.  If I did increase it would be 5mgs, I'll see how it goes. I started free CBT therapy online with NHS too, I find that helpful, it's called Silvercloud. Best wishes.

@Sonia009 I had a few weeks of online CBT/counselling which helped me a bit so worth having it as our NHS can't offer us much else.

I'm still having a couple of hours of windows a day. Went to see mum again this morning and did a few bits around her house. I find after the event is when I suffer, I'm exhausted after 2 hrs with mum but I do cram a lot in when I'm there. I just need to remember not to overdo it or I'll go down with a bang but in these windows it's so nice to make myself useful plus enjoy a bit of sunshine which I've lacked for months 

I don't take these good moments for granted as last year it but me in the backside when it returned.

Hope the weather is sunny wherever you are in the UK and I shall be rooting for you once you start your new medicine regime.

[FireflyFyte]

1 hour ago, Sonia009 said:

Yes, I agree, I'll stick with 0.5 mg for now, perhaps that with the anxiety relief effect of my new med it will be sufficient.

 

I think it makes sense to stay at 0.5mg and see if your windows improve.

 

1 hour ago, Sonia009 said:

If I did increase it would be 5mgs,

 

We generally recommend small up-doses here so you may want to try 0.75mg or 1mg to see if you get relief versus jumping up to 5mg.

[Sonia009]

39 minutes ago, FireflyFyte said:

 

I think it makes sense to stay at 0.5mg and see if your windows improve.

 

 

We generally recommend small up-doses here so you may want to try 0.75mg or 1mg to see if you get relief versus jumping up to 5mg.

@FireflyFyteThanks for your advice, will do, much appreciated.

[Sonia009]

1 hour ago, HelenR said:

@Sonia009 I had a few weeks of online CBT/counselling which helped me a bit so worth having it as our NHS can't offer us much else.

I'm still having a couple of hours of windows a day. Went to see mum again this morning and did a few bits around her house. I find after the event is when I suffer, I'm exhausted after 2 hrs with mum but I do cram a lot in when I'm there. I just need to remember not to overdo it or I'll go down with a bang but in these windows it's so nice to make myself useful plus enjoy a bit of sunshine which I've lacked for months 

I don't take these good moments for granted as last year it but me in the backside when it returned.

Hope the weather is sunny wherever you are in the UK and I shall be rooting for you once you start your new medicine regime.

@HelenR Good for you Helen, I'm sure they appreciate all you do. I know what you mean about paying for it later, same here. I must try to get to see my mum too, hopefully soon.

[HelenR]

On 2/12/2024 at 6:35 PM, Sonia009 said:

@HelenR Good for you Helen, I'm sure they appreciate all you do. I know what you mean about paying for it later, same here. I must try to get to see my mum too, hopefully soon.

@Sonia009 how's things with you? Any improvements come your way?

[Sonia009]

2 hours ago, HelenR said:

@Sonia009 how's things with you? Any improvements come your way?

@HelenRHi, thanks for asking. I was on my new beta blocker for two days but I had to stop because it gave me hallucinations. Yesterday I started a new med for bp, Ramipril 1.25 mg, a very low dose but my bp is normal. I'm still on 0.5 mgs Citalopram, after watching a Dr Mark Horowitz video I decided not to change my dose. Still getting dizziness but my recent med changes have contributed to that. Getting morning anxiety but I think my withdrawal symptoms are causing this. So, no change really, just trying to carry on and taking breaks when tired. How are you?

[HelenR]

6 hours ago, Sonia009 said:

@HelenRHi, thanks for asking. I was on my new beta blocker for two days but I had to stop because it gave me hallucinations. Yesterday I started a new med for bp, Ramipril 1.25 mg, a very low dose but my bp is normal. I'm still on 0.5 mgs Citalopram, after watching a Dr Mark Horowitz video I decided not to change my dose. Still getting dizziness but my recent med changes have contributed to that. Getting morning anxiety but I think my withdrawal symptoms are causing this. So, no change really, just trying to carry on and taking breaks when tired. How are you?

@Sonia009 ooh that must have been scary having hallucinations. Some meds just aren't right for you. Let's hope the Ramipril is ok with no adverse effects.

I've been busy with mum etc, think I'm tired as I feel off balance but my anxiety is capable. Just wish my gastritis would go away as that's painful but I'm still embracing this so called Window!  This time round I'm fighting harder and trying to change my attitude towards a lot of things but it's probably because I'm not so bad as last year. It's easy to be positive when you feel a bit better. 

I'm glad you're sticking to your tiny dose of citalopram. Sometimes it's better to hold on because it can be a gamble otherwise. 

I'm holding at 5mg for another few months now . I was ready to reduce in December but hit by COVID so my plans had to go backwards. Must admit I'm terrified of the thought of a taper but I shall probably reduce my citalopram by 2% and start off so slowly.

Hope your husband's been as well as he can be so you can relax a bit.

 

[Sonia009]

1 hour ago, HelenR said:

@Sonia009 ooh that must have been scary having hallucinations. Some meds just aren't right for you. Let's hope the Ramipril is ok with no adverse effects.

I've been busy with mum etc, think I'm tired as I feel off balance but my anxiety is capable. Just wish my gastritis would go away as that's painful but I'm still embracing this so called Window!  This time round I'm fighting harder and trying to change my attitude towards a lot of things but it's probably because I'm not so bad as last year. It's easy to be positive when you feel a bit better. 

I'm glad you're sticking to your tiny dose of citalopram. Sometimes it's better to hold on because it can be a gamble otherwise. 

I'm holding at 5mg for another few months now . I was ready to reduce in December but hit by COVID so my plans had to go backwards. Must admit I'm terrified of the thought of a taper but I shall probably reduce my citalopram by 2% and start off so slowly.

Hope your husband's been as well as he can be so you can relax a bit.

 

@HelenR Hi, happy for you that you're still in a window, hope your mum is doing ok. The gastritis must be very unpleasant,especially with all else going on. You've probably overdone it a bit, happens to me too, brings back the horrible symptoms of withdrawal and makes them worse sometimes. I'm hoping the ramipril will be ok this time around, it gave me a dry cough and aches and pains before but this is a much lower dose. I just wish the dizziness would go away. I think I would hold on 5mg if I were you too, give your body a chance to heal and hopefully enjoy a nice long window. When you do start to reduce, I agree, slowly is the way to go. My husband is up and down too but seem determined to push on. Wishing you all the best.🙏

[bunchesofoats]

Hey @Sonia009, how've you been? How have you felt with the ramipril?

[Sonia009]

1 hour ago, bunchesofoats said:

Hey @Sonia009, how've you been? How have you felt with the ramipril?

@bunchesofoatsHi, thanks for thinking about me. I think the ramipri l is going ok but giving me some aches and pains particularly my neck, but for the last few days my dizziness has been worse, maybe it's a side effect and maybe some withdrawal from the bendroflumethiazide making it worse. I've been on my 0.5 mg reinstatement for almost seven weeks now, sometimes I wish I had never reinstated. Prior to the last few days I had a lovely two hour window when I felt normal and symptom free. It gave me hope but when I got up the next day my dizziness was worse and has been so for a few days now. It's so disheartening, I had a bit of a panic attack yesterday with palpitations, still getting some anxiety, weepy, head fullness, tinnitus, occasional nausea and occasional brain zap. My extreme tiredness have passed.

Hope you are doing ok too, I know you have your own challenges. Thank you for caring.

[Sonia009]

Can anyone tell me if this is withdrawal. I wake up with a heavy feeling in my head, wash up, go  downstairs make tea and toast, tidy up for around 15 minutes, cleaning etc then have to lie down  because I feel so hot and need the fan on me. I cool down but sometimes get too cold I need to warm up again. Sometimes I feel faint but it passes. I have a stiff neck and lumbar backaches also. I had bloods checked 3 months ago, ecg, all normal.

[Sonia009]

I feel so desperate. I can't stop crying. I'm getting bad dreams even when I close my eyes and still awake. My head and ears feel full, I feel depressed. I've been like this for a few days and I'm too scared to get up. I'm afraid I am getting worse not better. I had a two hour window last week, that is all and things have gone downhill since.

[HelenR]

40 minutes ago, Sonia009 said:

I feel so desperate. I can't stop crying. I'm getting bad dreams even when I close my eyes and still awake. My head and ears feel full, I feel depressed. I've been like this for a few days and I'm too scared to get up. I'm afraid I am getting worse not better. I had a two hour window last week, that is all and things have gone downhill since.

@Sonia009 I'm sorry to hear this. Do you think it's a reaction to your ramipril?

I went through similar last year and am now susceptible to reactions to any new medications so I stay clear of taking new ones. I guess you need the ramipril. Last year I could have easily jumped over a cliff if I had the energy. I had head, ear pressure. Funny feelings at the back of my head, depression, nightmares etc. it eventually subsided after 9 months. I feel for you Sonia.

[Sonia009]

@HelenRThanks Helen. I've only been on ramipril very low dose for a week. Maybe it's side effects from that and withdrawal from bendroflumethiazide. Maybe it's the Citalopram withdrawal/ reinstatement or a combination of all, I don't know. I did dye my hair last week? I'm sorry you went through this too, the thought of nine months of this is horrifying. My gums are sore now too. My eyes are feeling strained. I'm trying to get on with things but it's getting harder. Hope you're doing ok.🙏

[HelenR]

3 hours ago, Sonia009 said:

@HelenRThanks Helen. I've only been on ramipril very low dose for a week. Maybe it's side effects from that and withdrawal from bendroflumethiazide. Maybe it's the Citalopram withdrawal/ reinstatement or a combination of all, I don't know. I did dye my hair last week? I'm sorry you went through this too, the thought of nine months of this is horrifying. My gums are sore now too. My eyes are feeling strained. I'm trying to get on with things but it's getting harder. Hope you're doing ok.🙏

@Sonia009 it's hard to tell which tablet is causing all of this. I was on a few meds all at once last year as doctors didn't know what to do with me as my anxiety and gastritis were horrendous. In the end the side effects of the meds were too much so I had to stop all of them and just reinstated a small 5mg of citalopram. I'm in such a better place lately. I've had a great Window that's lasting a while. I'm keeping everything crossed it will carry on so I can start to taper my citalopram.

I remember having symptoms I'd never dreamt I would have and still experience plenty but luckily to a lesser degree lately. Sometimes I can't distinguish if it's stress related or withdrawals.

I do hope you get a decent window very soon as this will give you some hope.

[Sonia009]

@HelenR Thanks Helen, your post means a lot to me. It's good to be able to talk with someone when you feel so lonely. I agree, stress plays its part and distinguishing between that and withdrawal is confusing. I'm glad you're still in your window, sounds great, let's hope it's a turning point for you. I managed to shower and wash my hair, dressed, made myself a boiled egg and toast around noon but I cannot stomach anything else just yet. I took a food shop delivery, tidied around but I'm resting again just now. Thanks for caring.x🙏

[mstimc]

4 hours ago, Sonia009 said:

I feel so desperate. I can't stop crying. I'm getting bad dreams even when I close my eyes and still awake. My head and ears feel full, I feel depressed. I've been like this for a few days and I'm too scared to get up. I'm afraid I am getting worse not better. I had a two hour window last week, that is all and things have gone downhill since.

Try to concentrate on that window.  My first window lasted maybe 20 minutes, but from then on I knew I would recover eventually. If the symptoms can diminish for a while, they can diminish forever.  I know how disheartening it can be to go back into a wave, but recovery is a rollercoaster, not a steady climb.  You are going to have more windows, and unfortunately, more waves.  But focusing on long-term improvements is key.  Don't judge your recovery by how you feel day to day.  Sometimes it takes months to see steady improvement.  It takes time and patience, but you will get there! 

[Sonia009]

17 minutes ago, mstimc said:

Try to concentrate on that window.  My first window lasted maybe 20 minutes, but from then on I knew I would recover eventually. If the symptoms can diminish for a while, they can diminish forever.  I know how disheartening it can be to go back into a wave, but recovery is a rollercoaster, not a steady climb.  You are going to have more windows, and unfortunately, more waves.  But focusing on long-term improvements is key.  Don't judge your recovery by how you feel day to day.  Sometimes it takes months to see steady improvement.  It takes time and patience, but you will get there! 

@mstimcThank you so much for your reassuring reply. It's such a let down after feeling really good for a couple of hours to going back to feeling worse than ever. I appreciate your kind thoughts.x🙏