☼ Hello. mammaP checking in!

[Rhiannon]

 

Hello mommaP

 

Oh it has been too long. So many changes for you. I see some are most excellent and some have brought a few bumps. You are making it tho. 

 

I am not at all surprised that you have needed the other day to catch up. I believe you said you re-read some of your thread but I think you might consider giving it another look-see as if it were someone else's thread. The changes you've made are huge and the activities you are partaking in are such leaps. You would be proud of any of us, remember to be proud of you. Moving, driving, meeting new people, going to outings alone (alone!!!), and nurturing yourself. Big stuff happening there. 

 

You remain one of my heroes.

Hear, hear, bravo!!!

 

 

Another fan here!

[mammaP]

Thank you my friends, you all make me feel cared for but honestly I am no hero! 

I am just like everyone else here and soldiering on the best I can.  I am very fortunate that 

I found this site and have got where I am now by following the guidance I found here. It's been 

rocky but the windows are getting longer and the waves less intense.  But overall, even with

the waves it has been much better than when I was taking the full dose and sick for years

unable to function! 

 

My heart goes out to everyone here who is in protracted withdrawal, my experiences have

been a picnic in the park beside some of those suffering with no let up.  I wish I could give

 every single one of you a real squishy mamma hug! 

[Nikki]

Hi MamaP I too was around (took a break and was actually very busy, still am).

 

I did take a look back at the month of May for your posts to catch up with you.  Maybe this will help.....One of my customers who is i his late 70's has spinal stenosis and is a widower.  His children all live in Connecticut and have built a home for him above his son's garage along with the seat that glides up the wall so he does not have to use stairs.

 

Today he told me that he is nervous and sad and just doesn't feel right.  He is not ill and he know it is emotional.  He feels overwhelmed.  He said he spent so much time in his home here in Florida and that has prompted him to think about his wife.  He told me that he is soooo used to things being in a certain place and he has his routine and that changing when he moves has him unsettled.

 

Moving - relocating is a Biggy.  Like you said you went from Scotland to the South of England while going thru your WD.

 

I hope this helps you in some way.  IT TOOK GUTS to make the move you did.  I have a good feeling that in a short time things will smooth out.

 

So nice to speak with you again

 

Hugs Mamap

[mammaP]

Thanks Nikki, it is a very emotional time. I feel fine about it when I'm out and about but really miss 

the rest of my family being close by. I love the house and the area it's just a big change and feels like

I am a million miles away from the rest of family.  It has been a good move though and I know I will

settle down eventually. 

 

I've had problems with my gut for a couple of weeks and have had to seriously get my diet back in order.

It's been too easy to grab carbs and yesterday was a bad day with really awful bloating and runs. 

My own fault entirely for letting my healthy eating slip back into bad habits.  I had shopping delivered today

so it's back to healthy tomorrow.    

 

I measured the tramadol  and discovered that I had cut by only 5% so now I think I've probably been feeling

odd because of my eating rather than withdrawal which is a relief because I can control the food when I put my

mind to it, hopefully will start to feel better again. 

[Nikki]

MamaP on my thread MQ posted a link for the anxietysummit and when I logged on so much of it was about nutrition.  I am a chocoholic so I know about slipping and sliding as opposed to having willpower to eat the good stuff.

 

I saw that there were alot of books about nutrition and emotional well being on that site.

 

Mr. Anxious started juicing and and he got me to start again.  Plus probiotics (they were very good for me).

 

I still need to drop a few more pounds (stones)......willpower, willpower.....exercising is easy - it's the sweets that do me in.

 

It is good that you moved while it is warm weather so you can get out and explore your new surroundings.

 

Hugs

[mattinsmom]

flyby hug

[btdt]

Thanks Nikki, it is a very emotional time. I feel fine about it when I'm out and about but really miss 

the rest of my family being close by. I love the house and the area it's just a big change and feels like

I am a million miles away from the rest of family.  It has been a good move though and I know I will

settle down eventually. 

 

I've had problems with my gut for a couple of weeks and have had to seriously get my diet back in order.

It's been too easy to grab carbs and yesterday was a bad day with really awful bloating and runs. 

My own fault entirely for letting my healthy eating slip back into bad habits.  I had shopping delivered today

so it's back to healthy tomorrow.    

 

I measured the tramadol  and discovered that I had cut by only 5% so now I think I've probably been feeling

odd because of my eating rather than withdrawal which is a relief because I can control the food when I put my

mind to it, hopefully will start to feel better again. 

I would not underestimate the effects of tapering off tramadol.  I did a lot of research on this drug a long time ago as at one point I took it.  It came up when I was researching Effexor they are very much alike. 

I did have a link of published articles and information from other people who had tapered from it on the topix site it has since been deleted so I can no longer give you the link to prior work and be done. I wish I could and find this problem a lot. 

 

I will give you this just so you are aware: 

"Tramadol's mode of action is far from "unknown". It functions through a combination of mu-opioid agonism, serotonin-norepinephrine reuptake inhibition, and NMDA antagonism.

Three pain killing properties in one make for a good drug."

http://www.bluelight.org/vb/threads/524709-Venlafaxine-(Effexor)-similar-in-structure-to-Tramadol/page2?s=3517571c4643f80827baf8640dbb6bb9

 

I know people don't like this site as it discusses illegal drugs but I have found some of the folks there quite brilliant and useful. 

 

Physical dependence and withdrawal[edit]

Long-term use of high doses of tramadol may be associated with physical dependence and a withdrawal syndrome.^[41] The atypical withdrawal symptoms are probably related to tramadol's effect on serotonin and norepinephrine reuptake.^[42] Symptoms may include those of SSRI discontinuation syndrome, such as anxiety, depression, anguish, severe mood swings, aggressiveness, brain "zaps", electric-shock-like sensations throughout the body, paresthesias, sweating, palpitations, restless legs syndrome, sneezing, insomnia, vivid dreams or nightmares, micropsia and/or macropsia, tremors, and headache among others.^[42] In most cases, tramadol withdrawal will set in 12–20 hours after the last dose, but this can vary.^[42] Tramadol withdrawal lasts longer than that of other opioids; seven days or more of acute withdrawal symptoms can occur as opposed to typically three or four days for other codeine analogues.^[42] It is recommended that those physically dependent on pain killers take their medication regularly to prevent onset of withdrawal symptoms and this is particularly relevant to tramadol because of its SNRI properties and, when the time comes to discontinue their tramadol, they do so gradually over a period of time that will vary according to the individual, dose and length of time on the drug.^{[42][43][44][45][46]}

^{http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tramadol#Physical_dependence_and_withdrawal}

 

^{I know you want off drugs.. I know.}  

^{I wonder if you continue to have difficulty like an Ad withdrawal if putting it off a bit would be something to consider.  Since you have just moved and have a lot of new things to adjust to and are missing your family from your other home.} 

^{Having some time to adjust to the new surroundings and getting your sea legs in a new area ... not just becoming comfortable and enjoying you summer but setting up supports you will need for your health care.  Sorry if I am being a worry wart and speaking out of turn... I just think you have taken on and done an amazing job lately with all these changes... and it is a LOT already without adding withdrawal to the list.} 

^{This is just my opinion and I know you did not ask for it I pray your not offended by my speaking up.} 

 

For me to move even if it were for the better would set me back months... I do not acclimatize well going away for a wkend generally means I will not sleep all wkend or will catch an hour or two once I am completely exhausted... I can't even imagine doing what you have done recently. I went cold turkey and have spent the last several years reading withdrawal sites... and seeing others get better when I didn't.  I can't help but think of the old saying this is not a race...

QUALITY 

of life is where it is at. I have gone years with no to poor quality of life. 

I value it above all else.. except health which is for me the same thing. 

 

I wish for you peace health and quality of life... if you can have them at all while on this drugs I suggest you go a bit slower for the time being... have your other family come for a visit get use to your space... set up support care... 

I know I am repeating sorry. Enjoy you summer you deserve to have happy times. 

peace B

[mammaP]

I typed a long detailed and probably boring post about my tramadol experience then poof, 

it was gone just before I clicked  POST  .    

I am struggling with the heat here, it was always cooler in Scotland, but here it is very hot already. The thermometer

tells me it is 35c outside in the shade and I am just not used to it. It is 25 indoors and I am cooking! 

 

I went into town yesterday and it was just as hot, then last night was in agony with joint and muscle pain.

The pain was awful and has made me wonder if I will ever be able to be free of the tramadol. 

It is so restrictive, I can't go out and drive  after taking it and that is why I only take it in the evening.

I can't concentrate and spacial awareness just disappears!  I get dizzy and feel nauseous. Can't keep

my eyes open but can't sleep or even keep still for up to 5 hours after taking it.  Then in the morning

have an awful hangover which is probably withdrawal.  By lunchtime my head has started to clear and by 2pm

I might be up to going out if my joints aren't too bad.  I have to be home by 6 ready for the next dose and 

that's it for another day. 

 

I'm not sleeping either because of the heat, will have to try and find a quiet fan for the bedroom, the dowstairs

one sounds like a jet engine! 

 

And I miss the sea........so much 

[Addax]

Hello mammaP.

 

I'm sorry this is such a difficult time for you and that you're struggling right now.

 

Heat is horrible sometimes. There's some folk-tale/story that when the temperatures go above 92 deg F/ 33 deg C people start to lose their minds and anger more easily. I don't know if that's true or not, but it know I can get pretty grumpy when it's very hot. At least when it's cold you can bundle up.

 

I don't know how close you lived to the sea or whether you lived close enough to hear it, but do you think a sound app might be helpful? There are apps you can download that will play various ambient sounds, like rain falling, wind, ocean, even city type sounds. Perhaps a quiet fan and the sound of an ocean background sound would help you sleep? Just a thought.

 

I hope the withdrawal wave and the heat wave pass quickly and you're able to find relief soon!

[Rhiannon]

Wish I had something really helpful to say, but all I have is hello, hugs, and I appreciate you so much. I'm sorry you're having some bumpy times. 

 

Is there anything else they can give you for pain besides tramadol? Personally I feel that the opiates are less dangerous, but most doctors won't agree.

[btdt]

I use the sound of the ocean to sooth me all the time found on utube I use head phones when people are around but a small speaker (cheap) hooked up to the lap top is nice for sleeping as it can fill the room

I have had a lot of pain issues over the years it is a hard call but I prefer to use something I have a better chance of controlling right now use tylenol with codeine thanks to my hypersensitivity I can get away with an extremely low dose.  I have no idea if this would be a better option for your pain or not ... I have tried all other things... all sorts of antidepressants muscle relaxants tramadol...ect... about everything there is.  Lyrica too... tried and refuse to take them at this point for my own reasons. 

I have tried what they call perkacet here but they make my thinking change and I don't like that.  I try everything before a pill too... but I have noticed since the kidney issue I went off the chart with using the T#3 and seem to crave it now when I am not in extreme pain...I increased the dose and use during the kidney issue last wk...now I am short on pills and seem to crave it or think of it maybe when I am not in THAT much pain.  I thank you for bringing this to my mind as I now see I have fallen into a habit or pattern of taking them when I don't need them... with this awareness I will try to hone them back....both dose and frequency.  Seems I will run out soon which is not a good idea... seems I managed to be unaware of all this till writing about it here...how very odd.

I know pain I hate pain it was pain that got me to these drugs in the first place... while I am leery of pills I do not want to live in pain either... we need to seek a balance.  

Have you found a doctor in your new town yet?  Maybe there is something else they could suggest that would be helpful... there could be something new we don't know of that will help. Lets hope there is... then again a new drug... chancy... I am walking contradiction I know and afraid not much help at all. Sorry Momma thinking as I go here may all be useless dribble but still wanted to wish you well and let you know I am thinking of you... 

peace B

[MaryKA]

Hi mammaP, about you missing the sea -- around here where we are now, it really is quite different to where we were (as you know!). Instead of the sea air and changes in sea breezes through the day, we are inland just about as much as we can be in the UK and much further south. You said before you moved that you would miss the sea. It is a pretty special thing to live on the coast. Even when I moved before 10 miles inland, it was always a great 'surprise' to go to the town on the coast and see the sea and all that the coast is. And the sea gives a fantastically distant horizon to defocus your eyes!

 

The heat here is quite different too. Not just on the thermometer but also because of the greater humidity. It isn't like the tropics but enough to notice the difference ... And your living space faces south and has two massive french doors so it is a heat trap. That day I visited was hot and the temperature in the room was pleasant, but you did have to have the doors open. And the patio outside was so hot as to be unusable. 

 

I wonder whether you are homesick? You haven't used this word (I think), but it would be understandable. You have had a difficult move, are facing the full brunt of south-mid UK's summer without much acclimatiziation (but that would help only to a certain extent :| , you are not as close to your family as you expected, and are more reliant on driving than before. That's big stuff. I had homesickness when I was 11, and I didn't know what it was until the girls at the boarding school told me. I felt confused cos I didn't understand and felt that something wasn't quite right. It went away in the end. I was so much younger then It would take longer now if it happened again.

 

Has your daughter decided where she is going to move to? Maybe once she has done that, you will know what distance you are from here and see how that goes. And remember, you can always move again -- once she has moved! I think that her changing her mind after you committed to your move hasn't helped...

 

I can't comment on your wd, I don't know the drugs at all. Sorry. I'm glad others here can share their experience.

 

Lots of love and hugs and mwahs

[Nikki]

Hi...

 

Mostly likely you are adjusting to the heat and your new surroundings.  It is hard to sleep in the heat.  Can you put a small ac unit in your bedroom?

 

MammaP I was wondering if you are still adjusting to the move and yes a bit homesick for Scotland.  It is so normal to feel that way.  I think what I gathered was that your daughter will be moving?  That would add to the emotional aspects of relocating. 

 

I had to look up tramadol.  Is there some substitute for the pain?  I have had luck with Naproxin. 

 

The  thing about this site is that we all try to come up with viable solutions for someone going thru a rough time.

 

Try to remember you just made a move...and alot of people have trouble with  the intense heat.  Be gentle with yourself.....

 

Lots of Hugs

[mammaP]

Homesick..... yes, very definitely homesick  .  There has been so much going on and I've been

enjoying some of the new things. New people, new places etc.  But those people aren't 'special' to

me yet, that takes time.  I love seeing my daughter and the little ones and they keep me sane but they

can't be here every day! 

 

I know I will adjust and do have new friends,  we just need to get to know each other.  I always thought

I was ok on my own. When I was zoned out on effexor I was happy, can you believe that? HAPPY in a 

weird way because I didn't feel much of anything.  Now I can feel again but this new found me is.....

dare I say it........lonely... I have learned to be around people again and had hoped that I would build

a life here, but I still have the same conditions I had before, ones that restrict what I can do and there are

many days when I can't do anything more than get up and take a shower, sometimes not even that. 

 

For the last 10 days or so I've had bowel trouble and can't stray too far. I've registered with the surgery and

need to go see the doctor because this is so unusual for me. I also need a referral to the orthopaedic hospital

because my bone pain has flared up again too. 

I feel close to tears a lot of the time and just want to go home to Scotland, but not to my old home. By the way,

the nightmare neighbour that made my life miserable moved out last month, just a couple of weeks after I moved out!

Unbelievable! 

 

I don't feel like I 'belong' anywhere. I'm homesick but not sure where 'home' is. I love this house and love where it is

but it isn't home yet.   All in all just feeling bleurgh, that's a good word, bleurgh, 

 

As for the tramadol, I took codeine for years but again could only take it at night.  I felt ill after taking it, and most nights

felt like I could die in my sleep and took it just before bed. Without it the pain was unbearable.   When I was in the hospital

following my knee replacement  I almost fainted after my codeine and they started keeping a close eye on my BP.

After taking codeine my BP was dropping very low, so that was stopped and tramadol prescribed. 

I can't take paracetamol (tylenol) regularly because it makes me very sick, vomiting and sweating profusely. Aspirin and

non-steroidals even more so.  A friend of mine with similar drug intolerances  has been prescribed pain patches. She

was also on tramadol and just switched, no tapering, just straight switch. The patches last a week and she is doing very

well with them. No side effects and pain under control but I can't remember the name  . They can only be prescribed

by a specialist pain clinic and not by a gp.  It would be great if I could just pop a couple of aspirin or whatever when the pain

is bad and get relief without all the horrific side effects! 

[mammaP]

Forgot to mention the ocean sounds, I have the sounds on my clock and it plays for 30 minutes

before I go to sleep......that is when I go to sleep, which is not happening much these days!  

[Petunia]

I'm sorry you are feeling homesick and lonely MammaP, its unbelievable the effect these drugs have on us, going on them and then coming off them.  I'm also experiencing extremes of emotions I've never felt my entire life.

 

You have such a positive attitude, I'm sure you will settle in and feel more at home as time goes by.  Have you thought about getting a pet?  A pond with a little water fall?  An indoor water feature....I used to have one that plugged into the wall, it was a bowl with vases which stacked up and water poured down from the top to the bottom via an inbuilt pump, it made a lovely sound, until the water got too low, then I would just hear the pump vibrating.  I live fairly close to the ocean, and wish I could send a section of it to you

 

Have you found somewhere nice for walking yet?  I used to live in the UK and really miss being able to walk through woods and the English countryside.  I got dragged, kicking and screaming to Australia when I was 10 and have never felt at home here.

 

(hugs)

Petu.

[MaryKA]

Awh, mammaP, I am sorry it has all come together at once. It will get better ... it seems like it can only go that way :|

 

M xxx 

[mattinsmom]

Hi

 

I'm sorry that you are homesick and lonely. Its is hard to be either of those things and to be both at the same time is really cruddy. I like the suggestion that Petu made about the little fountain. I have one in my room and sometimes just hearing it soothes the nerves. 

 

I wish I had more to offer. 

[mammaP]

Thanks guys, you certainly keep me going when I am feeling down  .  My daughter came to visit today with the little ones

and you know what? The 5 year old said I need to get a pond in my garden! I think that nails it, a pond it is, or a water feature

as a pond would be a bit difficult  . I would love a pond and have always wanted one but never got there.  My 15 yr old

grandson is coming to stay for a couple of weeks next month and is into gardening so that can be our project. 

 

My stomach is a lot better today, I started the magnesium again and feel a lot calmer and slept a bit better last night.  

My bones are still sore but a magnesium bath helps, will have to go easy on the mag or I'll be in and out of the loo again!

The weather has cooled down a few degrees so is more bearable.  An elderly  neighbour stopped by too today and shared

a cool jug of elderflower juice. She stopped to chat on her way back from the shops and I offered her a seat and a drink .

That is not something I would have done 2 years ago, I would have avoided eye contact and hid until she passed!

 There are so many things that have improved by getting off that drug, the withdrawal is really minimal compared to the side

effects. It's been  torture sometimes but the waves always pass. 

 

Did someone mention a pet? I can't have pets here, it's a condition of the lease. 

I had a rescue dog once, she was 14 and a puppy machine. She had lived in a barn all her life and had been a working dog

catching rats in between having puppies. She was going to be destroyed so I took her in. A gorgeous little JR terrier and she 

settled right in. I house trained her  without too much trouble and she followed me around like a shadow. She was with me for 

4 years before she died at 18.   My daughter was still at home for the first year then it was just me and my little Lady,   . 

When the kids were growing up we had all kinds of pets, rabbits, hamsters etc, chickens, ducks, a ferret that ate one of the

chickens  .  My son was always bringing home some injured or stray animal. Then there were the cats, lots of them, and 

fancy rats........oh my we had 'em all! No wonder I feel a bit lost sometimes!  It will pass as time goes by. I wish my creativity would

come back. Occasionally I get a glimmer of inspiration and do something but it is fleeting and soon evaporates again. 

I just hope that one day my mojo will be back to stay, I just feel lost and without motivation, lots of ideas and desires but all

I seem to do is sit around and think about it all with no energy or inclination to actually do any of it. 

 

One day..........................

 

 

 

 

 

 

, 

 

. 

[mogfish]

Hi MammaP,

 

JUst wanted to give you some encouragement and let you know I too am cheering for you.You have been such a source of encouragement and support for so many of us on this site and I hope the many kind words directed at you give you comfort and hope in your time of need. I'm sorry to read that you are feeling so out of sorts at the moment and I hope this wave passes for you very quickly. 

 

on a side note just wanted to say that I too use the word "Chuffed" and so do some of my friends. perhaps the "old country" still rubs off on many of us Aussies?? 

 

Looking forward to hearing that you have your "Mojo" back.

[dalsaan]

If you are thinking of things to do then the energy to do them will come and I think a pond sounds like a great idea.   Perhaps you could work through some designs.  would you want fish in your pond?

 

My friend installed a beautiful pond in her garden, filled it with fish and then a very big crane came and had breakfast, lunch and dinner.   Apparently it cleaned out every pond within a 2 mile radius

 

take care

 

D

[btdt]

I wonder if the feeling of not being at home or lost is a general hangover from this journey as I feel it too.  A lot of the time.  Especially when I am not well as that is when we need the comfort of home the most.  

When I was in emerg a few days ago the doctor there said there is a new pain medication a bit unlike others she gave me some a few to get me over the hump till the antibiotics kicked in.   I did not take it out of fear... yes fear I don't care if people think me silly or a coward I know the hard implications of drugs and pain both... and chose the pain this time. 

I know you talked of a patch and I have one idea of what it is fenatnol... I know I spelled it wrong but it sounds something like that... it has a caused a lot of trouble for people in Canada... has been on the news a lot here. that is all I know of a patch for pain.

 

I can't say much about this new drug as I have not tried and have not read about it yet not really just looked it up... maybe some other smarter people here could comment... 

this is the wiki link to it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tapentadol

 

No I am NOT pushing a new drug... just saying there is one out there it is my general idea that older drugs are better as at least we know what they will do to us ...once they are off patent the drug companies have less reason to lie about them and I feel more comfortable the truth is known... but if there is nothing else and you need something ... it is up to us to decide if it is worth the chance this time I said it was not.  

This is just for information it says it is the first new drug for pain in 25 years that has been passed in the US... 

 

For me they were not covered on my drug plan..They are pricey.... I was already at the end of my rope for pain... I thought I would have it on hand in case I lost my mind... so I have it but decided I could suffer thru... with the drug I have to take off the edge ... did not really work to stop the pain but helped... so I have not tried it. I am hoping this is a temporary thing for me but if it were going to be forever... I may make a different choice. forever is a long time to be in pain... 

 

Please Momma don't think I am pushing this drug as I am not but I don't like to think you in pain either... there are pain blocks too... that is the other thing people have talked to me about... again I have not tried that either. 

 

Not very chatty today but I like to check in on you :0 hope your day is going well wishing you peace.

[mattinsmom]

Checking in.

 
I am so impressed that you invited your neighbor in for a drink and a chat. It all starts somewhere. 

 

Pond idea - I have a little pond in my front yard. I mean little. I bought a prefab cutout at one of the chain "do it yourself" stores and dug a hole. I know you can't do the digging but maybe your grandson can? I bought a little pump for a fish tank to keep the water moving. I used rocks and hose to build a little waterfall. A friend of mine skipped the building and added a couple of water plants. I bet that sounds overwhelming. Sorry. Maybe you could brainstorm something with your grandson?

 

And fancy rats!!! I had hairless rats for years. I loved those guys. Not many people are fond of rats. 

 

Glad the mag is helping a bit. 

[mammaP]

It is still hot here, English weather is usually the butt of jokes but this summer it is just a 

bit too sunny for me!  A breeze would be nice along with the sun. I'm never satisfied and 

always seem to be moaning about something or other  .  I am so very tired now and seem 

to be going into my 'sleepy' phase! I unpacked some boxes and started to sleep in the spare room,

and sleep better but still feel tired all the time!  I don't sleep all night and wake up a lot but manage

to drift off again usually. Also go back to bed in the afternoon too and sleep for an hour then! 

Allergies are showing too, probably pollen, stuffy nose and itchy swollen eyes. 

 

There is so much to do before my grandson comes to stay.  The village is having an 'event' of sorts

with everyone having yard sales, the perfect opportunity to offload some stuff and make a few quid 

in the process so need to dig stuff out. 

. 

I need to wake up and DO SOMETHING instead of sitting here moaning with my fingers .

 

Going, going.... gone 

[EternalOptimist]

Hi Mama P. Have you seen or do you know of this flameless fountain candle?

http://www.amazon.com/Emerson-Flameless-LED-Candle-Fountain/dp/B00HMUWAFY/ref=sr_1_16?ie=UTF8&qid=1403380393&sr=8-16&keywords=Flameless+fountain+candle

[btdt]

Doing the sleep thing too Mamma a couple of naps a day could be the infection still or just me yet again I can never be sure.   I don't know about you but when I hit these patches I simply cannot stay awake I have no idea what it is but have learned to just settle down and wait it out as nothing I have done to change it has worked it  just ends when it ends on it own terms is all I can see. 

peace

[mattinsmom]

Flyby. 

Did you go to the event/sale? 

[mammaP]

Flyby. 

Did you go to the event/sale? 

The sale is next month MM, sounds like it might be a good day. 

 

 

I spoke to my new doctor and explained what has been going on re my bones, and she is arranging 

x rays and a referral to a specialist orthopaedic centre. Hopefully it wont be too long because I'm in a lot 

of pain these days.  I wish I didn't need to go there, I would be very happy if I never saw another hospital 

in my life! 

 

It's cloudy today so a bit cooler than it has been which s a huge relief  .  Yesterday I went out and found 

another garden centre with a little tea room just 5 minutes away.  There was a lady at the next table 

talking on her phone ( speakerphone too ) about her bowel problems and how the doctors aren't taking

her seriously.  We were all treated to a vivid description of her bodily fluids as she complained very loudly.

Poor woman was distraught and I felt quite sorry for her even though I didn't really want to hear all that  .

 

Before I left I wanted to go and ask her if she had stopped taking any drugs recently, and to put any drugs

into the interactions checker at drugs.com.  What has this site done to me?    

[mattinsmom]

Gotta love speaker phone  

[Littleredhead]

Hello Mamma P, I've been reading your diary (lurking) for months now.  I don't always sign in so I can just read as a guest.  I wanted to let you know that all of your writing has helped me a great deal with my WD.  Just reading and finding information from others has helped me to try new things, i.e., supplements, meditation type music, etc.  I stopped my poison at the end of January, and have so far, been able to cope with the WD symptoms.  The physical pain in my muscles has been the most difficult for me, but I refuse to take anymore drugs for the pain.  Of course my muscle aches are not anywhere near what you've endured, and I wanted to tell you what an inspiration you've been to me.  I still have my moments/days of feeling down or angry at the world, but at least I know where it is coming from thanks to this site and people like you who write as often as you do.  Anyway, just wanted to let you know you are one of my Hero's in life, because your writing is so full of positive words when I'm feeling like hammered kitty doo doo.  Thank you for sharing your story.

 

Love & Light to you,

Littleredhead

[btdt]

I am glad you have found a doctor and that the weather has changed for the better.  I don't like too hot weather either and we are getting our share can't wait till it turns cool again.  Having a tea room five minutes away has to be a bonus the bowel chatter lady can't be there all the time... give it another shot peace Mamma.

[mammaP]

Hello Mamma P, I've been reading your diary (lurking) for months now.  I don't always sign in so I can just read as a guest.  I wanted to let you know that all of your writing has helped me a great deal with my WD.  Just reading and finding information from others has helped me to try new things, i.e., supplements, meditation type music, etc.  I stopped my poison at the end of January, and have so far, been able to cope with the WD symptoms.  The physical pain in my muscles has been the most difficult for me, but I refuse to take anymore drugs for the pain.  Of course my muscle aches are not anywhere near what you've endured, and I wanted to tell you what an inspiration you've been to me.  I still have my moments/days of feeling down or angry at the world, but at least I know where it is coming from thanks to this site and people like you who write as often as you do.  Anyway, just wanted to let you know you are one of my Hero's in life, because your writing is so full of positive words when I'm feeling like hammered kitty doo doo.  Thank you for sharing your story.

 

Love & Light to you,

Littleredhead

Thank you LRH,  If my experiences help someone else then it's worth sharing them. Sometimes I think I moan too

much on here! 

 

I have been away at my daughters for a few days then my 3 year old grandson came for a sleepover for the first time.

He was up at 5,15am, he is an early riser and full of energy so it's no surprise that I am now exhausted! It was worth it

though, he is a delight and is such a funny little thing. I love how they use their imagination to amuse themselves. A 

cardboard box became a 'tunnel' to crawl through and a blanket became a tent. The house is in chaos but what the heck!! 

He had a blast and so did grandma but oh it was sooooo good to see daddy pull up in the car to take him home  .

Nice long bath with lots of epsom salts and now ready to go to bed and it's only 9.45pm. Hopefully will get some good sleep

and then I will tackle the chaos that looks like a whirlwind has blown through the house 

[EternalOptimist]

Awww, you had a grandma experience. How sweet. My sons are in their 30s and I have no grandchildren yet. In any case thank you for responding on my thread to which I replied. How can I access that video outside of this site? The one on healing from antidepressants. I have a few friends that would benefit. Thank you

EO

[Rhiannon]

Aw, what a cute whirlwind though! And I'm sure daddy was delighted to get the break too. Maybe we should start calling you grandmammaP?

[mammaP]

Aw, what a cute whirlwind though! And I'm sure daddy was delighted to get the break too. Maybe we should start calling you grandmammaP?

The cute whirlwind wore me out! He is adorable, very inquisitive and a very vivid imagination.

He can easily occupy himself and doesn't need constant entertaining. A cardboard box was his favourite 

toy, and he loved throwing things down the stairs to see them bounce, and wrapped himself round and

round in the curtains. I just couldn't help laughing at him and his antics! He went to bed like a little lamb

and went straight to sleep but was up at 5.15am as always. Mum and dad were very grateful for the lie

in and the little one had a ball at Grandmas 

 

Then another wave hit....... and I feel the usual why am I here rubbish. It is stupid and there is no logic to

it. I've been doing great, with more windows than waves and the waves have been relatively mild but now

it feels like it has been like this forever!  Now I'm back to the awful insomnia, not long ago I was sleeping 

during the day and a few hours at night but now I'm back to hardly any sleep at all. 90 minutes of sleep

then tossing and turning and fitful dozing.  

 

I have to go to the clinic for blood tests, the hospital for x rays and then the gp, who is referring me on to

the consultant.  I feel sick because since I moved there has been change, good changes, and I've put off

all the medical stuff as long as I could but now it starts all over again. I don't want to feel like this and don't

want to go for tests and doctors and surgery all over again.  

 

I've been trying to read the threads and can't take things in.  I read words but they aren't reaching my brain,

like trying to read a foreign language  .  

 

And there are problems with my effexor beads. I opened a new pack a few days ago and instantly could see

that the capsules looked different. Same colour but slightly different size, and the beads are larger. They just

don't look the same and I think they may be affecting me. I was taking 4 beads,  and feel like it is too much, so

last night took 3 and had some dizziness today.  I don't even know if the 3 are the equivalent of the 4 or if that

is too much. Tomorrows job is to count the darned things. I need to try and find an unopened capsule from the 

old pack so I can count one of those and compare the 2. Hopefully will be able to work it all out. Why do they 

do things like that? Same brand just different size capsule and beads, obviously been packed somewhere else.

. I feel like most of us here and just want to flush them away and tough it out, but I know it isn't the answer.

2 years I've been tapering now and it will be another few months or even a year before I'm free of the effexor.

 

Meanwhile I'm holding the tramadol, can't rock the boat until I've got the effexor sorted again. 

[btdt]

I hope you find good doctors and good news when you see them.  

I wish you sleep and peace