KLA324 Posted October 29, 2015 Share Posted October 29, 2015 Thank you, Moody. I've just read your entire thread and it's very inspiring! You are the prime example of someone who got off AD's, still has problems and symptoms, but has decided to not let them control your life. You have won! Congratulations! Karen 1999-Wellbutrin for anxiety/depression-CT after less than 1 yr with no prob 2000-2010-AD (can't remember which) a few times for a few months-CT each time with no prob 2012 - Ambien (sleep) and Propanolol (public speaking anxiety) Jan 2013 - Apr 2014 - Sertraline (25, then 50mg) Ambien after bout with depression Apr 2014 - Apr 2015 - Sertraline 100mg and Amitriptylene 25mg-CT in May/June. Did notice increased anxiety, moodiness. Aug/Sept 2015 - Trazodone 50mg (11 days for sleep), Phentermine 37.5mg 11 days), Tramadol 50mg (2 days for kidney stone pain) Oct 2nd - CT from Trazodone and Phentermine - CRASHED 2 days later. Severe depression, anxiety, constant crying RI Oct 15th - Citalopram 10mg daily, Vitamin D, Fish Oil Capsule, Magnesium, Simply Sleep at night. Will start weaning 11/15 if stable. Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 1, 2015 Author Share Posted December 1, 2015 11 months off. Months of building stress did it`s job and i crashed. Badly. It really is important to be gentle to yourself in recovery. I was not. Feels like I`m back in acute withdrawal. Can`t even sleep. If fall asleep I wake up instantly because I get panic from falling asleep. It`s crazy. Sorry to give this discouraging report but this is normal. Part of the journey. I need to listen more to Claire Weeks instead of my stupid mind. Cheers. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
AmyK Posted December 1, 2015 Share Posted December 1, 2015 I am sorry you feel this way, Moodyblues. Is it mostly mental or physical? Or both? See it as the wave it is. Try to use all the relaxing tools you have. This will pass. Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 1, 2015 Moderator Share Posted December 1, 2015 Quite often there is a bad wave hits in the 9-12 month range after quitting. Most of them seem to last between three to six weeks and then clear up leaving the person feeling better then before they had the wave. I'm sorry to hear that you've been hit by this, it's so disheartening. Don't let the secondary panic get a hold of you and things should be better pretty soon. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 after 2,5 weeks of almost constant panic and hell, i slept for 8hrs straight. Small steps back. I got back most of the mental and physical symptoms in one night. It was crazy. Like stopping cold turkey. Thanks for stopping by Amy and BM. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 3, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hi Moody, I just caught up with the last few months of your thread and was smiling, happy to read about the great progress you are still making. I admire your attitude and the self insight you have developed through this difficult journey, you have kept a sense of humor through this, I think its so important we don't take ourselves too seriously, no matter how bad it gets, there is always something bigger than just us. Sorry to hear you have been hit with a wave recently, but I'm glad you got some sleep, just another prickly bump along the way which you seem to be handling in your unique way, by learning from it and moving forward. Yes, we can remain vulnerable to stress for several years as our recovery continues to build in strength. I like the analogy of recovery being like repairing a table with broken legs. You have to glue the legs back on one at a time and try and balance the table. Then when its all back together and standing properly, you have to wait a while for the glue to harden fully before you can put weight on the table again. It might have been a stool, not a table, I forget, best not to sit on the stool until the glue is dry, you can put your hat on it for now though, so there is some purpose. Thank you for continuing to update, I'm going to re-read your thread from the beginning now I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hi Petu I remember that table thing. I think I read it somewhere here. This kind of massive wave sure is crushing. Makes me very scared and that trauma does not go away suddenly. Good thing this is not my first and I know the reasons behind this crash very well. Most of them unavoidable. This is a good opportunity to practice my coping skills. As hard as this is, it is doable. Onwards. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
AliG Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hi Moody, I have read your thread, and I just wanted to say how much I admire your strength, and persistence. Acceptance seems to be a large part of your journey , and that is something I'm finding important as well. Some days are harder than others , and you really have to dig deep to find it, at times , but if you persist you will always find it lurking just below the surface .You might have to dig through a few layers to uncover it , but eventually if you try hard enough or dig deep enough , it will resurface, just like a gem. Thanks for the update. Best wishes, Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus bubble Posted December 3, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hello Moody. I somehow identify with you a lot since I think we are the kind of people who actually underplay how we feel and try to stay in control. I sometimes worry about this tendency in myself. This tendency to keep my hands over my wound with all my strength and keep my mouth shut. I am scared of being and appearing vulnerable so when I hurt most I shut myself most tightly. I hope you are not like that. I envy people who can cry out how horrible they are feeling and reach out. Following your updates over the past months I've been reluctant to add one more thing. I know it's not the right time but somehow for the benefit of others who are reading your thread I feel the need to pint out that for me it's not only stress in you case. As somebody who spent quite a bit of time urging you to slow down your taper, I must point out the following:you came here at the end of 2013 feeling horrible after stopping Zoloft. On 24 December 2013 you reinstated 12.5 mg. After a while you started feeling a lot better. But instead of allowing your CNS a nice good hold you started tapering less than a month later. A year after you reinstated you were off again . As I said, I'm sorry for pointing this out now but we are advising people to take their time tapering just so that they could reduce the probability of feeling so horrible. I have every confidence in you that you will take all the measures that need to be taken to reduce stress and that you will once again come out victorious. I myself find it very hard to give up on things which are bad for me but I think I have to do them and that there is no other way. I get very inspired by seeing situations as this as an opportunity to practice coping skills. They really work and they do make us stronger... I hope anxiety loosens its ugly clutches on you as soon as possible and that your circumstances stop being so stressful. From another table collapsed under too much weight... 1 Current: 9/2022 Xanax 0.08, Lexapro 2 2020 Xanax 0.26 (down from 2 mg in 2013), Lexapro 2.85 mg (down from 5 mg 2013) Amitriptyline (tricyclic AD) and clonazepam for 3 months to treat headache in 1996 1999. - present Xanax prn up to 3 mg. 2000-2005 Prozac CT twice, 2005-2010 Zoloft CT 3 times, 2010-2013 Escitalopram 10 mg went from 2.5 to zero on 7 Aug 2013, bad crash 40 days afterreinstated to 5 mg Escitalopram 4Oct 2013 and holding liquid Xanax every 5 hours 28 Jan 2014 Xanax 1.9, 18 Apr 2015 1 mg, 25 June 2015 Lex 4.8, 6 Aug Lexapro 4.6, 1 Jan 2016 0.64 Xanax 9 month hold 24 Sept 2016 4.5 Lex, 17 Oct 4.4 Lex (Nov 0.63 Xanax, Dec 0.625 Xanax), 1 Jan 2017 4.3 Lex, 24 Jan 4.2, 5 Feb 4.1, 24 Mar 4 mg, 10 Apr 3.9 mg, May 3.85, June 3.8, July 3.75, 22 July 3.7, 15 Aug 3.65, 17 Sept 3.6, 1 Jan 2018 3.55, 19 Jan 3.5, 16 Mar 3.4, 14 Apr 3.3, 23 May 3.2, 16 June 3.15, 15 Jul 3.1, 31 Jul 3, 21 Aug 2.9 26 Sept 2.85, 14 Nov Xan 0.61, 1 Dec 0.59, 19 Dec 0.58, 4 Jan 0.565, 6 Feb 0.55, 20 Feb 0.535, 1 Mar 0.505, 10 Mar 0.475, 14 Mar 0.45, 4 Apr 0.415, 13 Apr 0.37, 21 Apr 0.33, 29 Apr 0.29, 10 May 0.27, 17 May 0.25, 28 May 0.22, 19 June 0.22, 21 Jun updose to 0.24, 24 Jun updose to 0.26 Supplements: Omega 3 + Vit E, Vit C, D, magnesium, Taurine, probiotic I'm not a medical professional. Any advice I give is based on my own experience and reading. Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 3, 2015 Author Share Posted December 3, 2015 I hear you bubble. 12,5->0 in one year was fast but it was as slow as my mind allowed me to go. Slower pace would have been wiser. I just had this very strong urge to get this poison out of my body. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted December 3, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 3, 2015 Hi moodyblues, Sorry to hear you are in a wave. I hope it won't be for long and you can be strong and get through it. Thank you bubble for the overview of moodyblue's situation. I think most, if not all, people want to get off as quickly as possible. In fact, if I hadn't suffered very bad brain zaps after missing a dose (several times this happened - I ended up carrying a tablet in my wallet) I probably would have gone CT. It's been from reading peoples' histories that I know I will need patience and lots of it. Take care moodyblues. CC * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 Hi CC I have a huge amount of stress in my life right now. Facing past trauma`s etc. Just too much unavoidable stress and too little time to rest. Back to work now. Time to Practice. Just do and the confidence will follow. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 I survived my first day back to work. Things got really bad in the morning. Huge panic but I was able calm down by listening to Claire Weekes on the headphones and taking some green tea. Rest of the day was good practice. I`m back home and anxious but very proud I was able to go to work. Now I need to rest. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 4, 2015 Moderator Share Posted December 4, 2015 Well done MB. The first day back is always the worst, now you can get in the groove and cruse. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 4, 2015 Author Share Posted December 4, 2015 The first day back is always the worst, now you can get in the groove and cruse. True. I did not have to go back until monday but I wanted do this now so that the shock of monday would be less. I`m glad I did. Facing my fears head on. No anxiety right now. It went away a while ago. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted December 5, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 5, 2015 Hello Moody, Wow, I'm really warmed by hearing how you have got through this crash. I hope you find some peace and rest over the weekend. I can empathise with you on having to deal with past traumas - they don't always want to let us choose when we work with them. And they can tend to intensify a lot of stuff for us. I found mine horribly difficult for a long, long time. But lately I've been finding more and more healing from them, and more tools for coping. I haven't read through your whole thread. I hope you have some sort of support? Counseling etc? One foot then another... KarenB 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 5, 2015 Author Share Posted December 5, 2015 Hi Karen Not through yet but going to the right direction. This crash allowed me to understand what I have been doing wrong so far. It`s going to take a while to forget this trauma. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted December 5, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 5, 2015 Yeah, I guess there are many levels on which we need to forget, let go, release. Takes time. 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 13, 2015 Author Share Posted December 13, 2015 Still in this crushing wave. Fortunately slowly having better moments. Sleep is broken but at least i manage to get few hours of sleep every night instead of complete insomnia. Trying to learn to be gentle with myself. It is hard while working full time and having 3 young children. Nearly impossible task. Fortunately I`ll soon have 2 weeks off work. As bad as things are I am wiser than I used to be. I am not as scared and more accepting. Both keys to a better tomorrow. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus KarenB Posted December 14, 2015 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 14, 2015 That's good Moodyblues - small but sure signs of healing. It's so hard when you are a mama and almost impossible to get time to take care of yourself. Maybe you can find small drops of gentleness to apply during the day to keep you going in between times. A cool cloth on your face, a minute of your favourite yoga pose before you leave the house, a few long breaths outwards before you (try to) go to sleep at night... 2010 Fluoxetine 20mg. 2011 Escitalopram 20mg. 2013 Tapered badly and destabilised CNS. Effexor 150mg. 2015 Begin using info at SurvivingAntidepressants. Cut 10% - bad w/d 2 months, held 1 month. Micro-tapering: four weekly 0.4% cuts, hold 4 weeks (struggling with symptoms). 8 month hold. 2017 Micro-tapering: four weekly 1% cuts, hold 4 weeks (symptoms almost non-existent). 2020 Still micro-tapering. Just over 2/3 of the way off effexor. Minimal symptoms, - and sleeping well. Supplements: Fish oil, vitamin C, iron, oat-straw tea, nettle tea. 2023 December - Now on 5 micro-beads Effexor. Minimal symptoms but much more time needed between drops. Symptoms begin to increase. 2024 April - Updosed to 6 microbeads - immediate increase in symptoms for 4 days. Decreased to 5 microbeads. 'The possibility of renewal exists so long as life exists.' Dr Gabor Mate. Link to comment
Nano Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 Hi, moody. I'm 7 months off zoloft, and 19 months off clonazepam. I folow your post because I identify with your situation. I'm from Argentina sorry for my English. What simtonps are you having now? Are they worts than 3 months ago? Thanks clonazepam 2008-2010 clonazepam and fluoxetine 2010-2013 clonazepam and sertraline january 2014 - may 2014 sertraline may 2014-may 2015 last dosis 17mg Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 14, 2015 Author Share Posted December 14, 2015 Well I was thrown back to acute wd about 3 weeks ago. Too much continuous stress, pushing myself too far. Did not realize my cns was still so badly sensitized. All I needed was a big enough trigger and I was back on nonstop panic attacks, burning hands, blurred vision, insomnia, absolutely horrible sound sensitivity with tinnitus, depression, anxiety, the whole bunch. It is getting better. Right attitude is needed with acceptance. Once again I learned a lot from my biggest setback so far. Hopefully I won`t make the same mistakes in the future. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 14, 2015 Moderator Share Posted December 14, 2015 Glad to hear that things are settling out. Attitude is key!!! 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
Nano Posted December 14, 2015 Share Posted December 14, 2015 oh! really really hate setbacks! Your experience help me a lot, because I´m starting to feel a little better and is important to know that I don´t have to play with my CNS. I really hope you get better. Saludos!!!!! clonazepam 2008-2010 clonazepam and fluoxetine 2010-2013 clonazepam and sertraline january 2014 - may 2014 sertraline may 2014-may 2015 last dosis 17mg Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted December 15, 2015 Author Share Posted December 15, 2015 First panic attack free night in 3-4 weeks. Slept about 7hrs. CNS is calming down slowly. The night before when panic was tormenting me I imagined lying on my back outside in a sunny forest. I took my hands off my chest and relaxed them as wide as i could. Then I just hoped in my mind that panic, fear and anxiety would come. I did not fight back or try to distract myself, I just smiled. I had to do this many times but the feelings faded every time and eventually I was able to sleep 5hrs straight. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
AmyK Posted December 15, 2015 Share Posted December 15, 2015 I am so happy to hear that, Moody. You have the tools. I believe everything will be fine. I wish you a calm and nice day. Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
Moderator brassmonkey Posted December 15, 2015 Moderator Share Posted December 15, 2015 Excellent way of handling the panic attacks. For the most part they only will last a few (10-15) minutes if left to their own devices. Not adding the secondary fear to them is hard to do, but is the best thing there is. I'm so glad you got a break last night. 20 years on Paxil starting at 20mg and working up to 40mg. Sept 2011 started 10% every 6 weeks taper (2.5% every week for 4 weeks then hold for 2 additional weeks), currently at 7.9mg. Oct 2011 CTed 15oz vodka a night, to only drinking 2 beers most nights, totally sober Feb 2013. Since I wrote this I have continued to decrease my dose by 10% every 6 weeks (2.5% every week for 4 weeks and then hold for an additional 2 weeks). I added in an extra 6 week hold when I hit 10mg to let things settle out even more. When I hit 3mgpw it became hard to split the drop into 4 parts so I switched to dropping 1mgpw (pill weight) every week for 3 weeks and then holding for another 3 weeks. The 3 + 3 schedule turned out to be too harsh so I cut back to dropping 1mgpw every 4 weeks which is working better. Final Dose 0.016mg. Current dose 0.000mg 04-15-2017 "It's also important not to become angry, no matter how difficult life is, because you can loose all hope if you can't laugh at yourself and at life in general." Stephen Hawking Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted March 11, 2016 Author Share Posted March 11, 2016 Still alive. Still crawling back from the worst wave so far. It`s been soon 4 months since my crash and I`m finally having moments of normality, hope, confidence in the future. I have never worked this hard towards my recovery. I was too passive and fearful. Time is important but fear can keep us down. Until it is faced. Be brave, be patient. Enough counting days or months. This will take as long as it will. 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
AliG Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 You're right . It will take as long as .......... you're doing well , MB Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
AmyK Posted March 11, 2016 Share Posted March 11, 2016 Wd is so hard. You will get better and better. As you say, hope and confidence is important. You are doing great! Hang in there. Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 Just stopping by to say hi. Never lose hope, people. Never 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
AmyK Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 You're right! How are you, Moodyblues? Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 Much better that last time i wrote. I`ve even had some days that were almost back to normal. Still far away from healed. I`m extremely sensitive to stress. Especially work related. I`m working much more from home these days and that has helped a lot. I take short walks and ride my bicycle whenever I have enough energy to spare. I try to interact more and more with my family istead of crawling back to my shell. Good days are still outnumbered by bad ones but i`ve learned to seek good moments in each day. They are always there. If nothing else then just the fact that i survived another hopeless day. The right attitude helps a lot. Despair is a very destructive companion. Hope is much better so i keep making more and more room for hope. Good days feel so great but are so easily forgotten during bad ones. That is why finding good in every situation is so important. I just keep taking each day as it comes and try to learn from them. Little by little bad feelings and reactions are replaced with only a memories of them without any feeling associated with it. I had too much time to gather fear so I am not one of those fortunate ones who will heal quickly. So be it. I hope you are doing well, Amy. 1 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted June 8, 2016 Member Share Posted June 8, 2016 I am so glad to hear from you! So you are starting to get some good days, that's great (and also how it goes too). Once you start getting those you are crossing over into a different phase of healing. I just came out of another bad spot and now my footing feels pretty solid. I can exert myself with exercise and not trigger anything (that happened last summer when I was able to take a zumba class). The emotional stuff gets a little easier to handle and sleep is a bit better but I still wake sometimes too early. I am thrilled you came back to give us an update. I saw your post last night but sometimes, when it is bedtime, I cannot keep my eyes open one more minute so I shut off the computer and made a note to look up your topic this morning. I hope things continue to improve for you! What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
AmyK Posted June 8, 2016 Share Posted June 8, 2016 I am ok, thanks, Moody. I just wonder. Did you have any wd symptoms when tapering 0.1 mg each week (from 1 mg and down)? I would love to do that, but it seems impossible for me. Current dose: 0! Free! Quit June 2017. 2017: Last dose zoloft: 17 June 0,00065 mg 18 May 0, 001 mg 14 May 0,002 mg 9 May 0,003 mg 28 April 0,006 mg 19 April 0,009 mg 8 April 0,013 mg 25 March 0,019 mg 22 March 0,039 mg 18 March 0,052 mg 16 March 0,079 mg 4 March 0,086 1 March 0,099 mg 22 February 0,11 mg 15 February 0,13 mg 6 February 0,145 mg 24 January 0,15 mg 19 January 0,19 mg 10 January 0,20 mg 3 January 2016: 0,98 to 0,22 mg; 2015: 2,35 to 1,01 mg; 2014: 4,9 to 2,5 mg; 2013: 9,1 to 5,1 mg; 2012: 15,7 to 9,7 mg; 2011: Started on 25 mg - then 50 mg- dropped to 25- to 12.5 mg - back to 25 mg - after 18.75 mg started tiny tapering to 16.6 mg Started on 25 mg Zoloft in March 2011 due to stressrelated tinnitus that gave me panicattacks. Had a terrible reaction to Zoloft from start, but was told to "hold on". After four months I was stuck. Therefore the long taper. Crazy, I know... Super sensitive to drops and have dropped by 4-6 % from the previous dose. Link to comment
moodyblues78 Posted June 8, 2016 Author Share Posted June 8, 2016 I am so glad to hear from you! Likewise CW. I´m very glad to hear this new positive tone in your posts. You used to be even gloomier than me 08 Cipralex 10mg for about 6 months. 11-12 Cipralex 20mg. Unsuccesful WD. 12-13 Zoloft 100mg with Diazepam 10-20mg as needed for anxiety.Fall 13 Tapering Zoloft 100->50->25->12,5->0 in 2,5 months and CT Diazepam. 12/24/13 RI Zoloft 12,5mg. 1/21/14 11mg 3/18/14 9,9mg 2/18/14 8mg 4/22/14 7,6mg 5/5/14 7,2mg 5/12/14 -> cutting 0,5mg per week, holding when necessary. 8/18/14 -> cutting 0,25mg per week holding when necessary. 10/20/2014 -> cutting 0,1mg per week, holding when necessary.12/28/2014 Jump! Link to comment
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