Muddles Posted June 3, 2020 Author Share Posted June 3, 2020 No - worse. This is the worst I’ve ever felt. I am traumatised. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Avrgejane Posted June 3, 2020 Share Posted June 3, 2020 I’m so sorry!! Are you sensitive to other medications too? Are you functioning? Avrgejane (47 year old female) 2015 - approx. 5-6 months on cipralex due to miscarriage stress, 10 mg, tapered over about 2-3 months successfully 2017 - Approx. 8 months on cipralex due to miscarriage stress, 10 mg, tapered over about 3 months successfully Beginning of July 2017 - took approx 3 Ativan sublingual .5 and about 4 oxycodone for pain from miscarriage. Mid July 2017 - took 1/2 prozasin 2mg (1mg) and 1/4 zoplicone 5mg (1.25mg) for about 2-3 weeks but made me feel awful so I CT. August 2017 - 5 days of vaginal valium 10mg after pelvic floor pain after D&C. August 11, 2019 - prescribed amitriptyline for nerve pain in teeth, started at 12.5mg for a week, then 25mg for a week (panic attacks), increased to 50mg for 2 weeks (panic attacks), increased to 100mg for 4 days (panic attacks) followed by an extremely quick taper - 50mg for 3 days, 25mg for 3 days, 12.5mg for 3 days, 6mg for 2 days. Have not taken amitriptyline since Sept 30th, 2019. Took Clonazipam intermittently (14 in 40 days average .25-50 mg) from Aug 25-Oct 8, 2019. Currently taking 90mg natural desiccated thyroid. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted June 3, 2020 Administrator Share Posted June 3, 2020 Hi, Muddles. While it's good to hear from you again, I'm sad to see it's because you had a bad reaction to an antibiotic. We have several people here who have found an antibiotic will revive a wave of withdrawal-type symptoms. Hang in there, it goes away gradually. As usual, fish oil and magnesium supplements may be helpful, seehttps://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/36-king-of-supplements-omega-3-fatty-acids-fish-oil/https://survivingantidepressants.org/topic/15483-magnesium-natures-calcium-channel-blocker/ You might try a little bit of one at a time to see how it affects you. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted September 22, 2020 Administrator Share Posted September 22, 2020 I am very sorry to report -- I have been informed by her friends: Muddles could not bear the resurgence of her symptoms and took her own life August 15, 2020. Many of us knew Muddles for years. She became a member here in February, 2014. This is heartbreaking, she was on the road to recovery. She will be profoundly missed. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Flowers Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 Thank you for posting Alto. So sorry to hear this news. She was doing so well. Poor Muddles RIP. Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
sunnysideup69 Posted October 11, 2020 Share Posted October 11, 2020 Thanks for posting Alto - this is so sad to read. Dam these drugs and what they create in our systems. RIP Muddles January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR Supplements; 1100mg fish oil daily; also 100mg Magnesium Glycinate. Tried Vagifem 10mcg from mid May 2021 to mid June 2021; caused depression, so stopped. Link to comment
direstraits Posted October 13, 2020 Share Posted October 13, 2020 devastating news...so sorry for her family. deepest condolences.😟 went on Prozac 1994-99,60mg.poopout ct back on 2001-2002,prozac weekly 2002,not working,Effexor 75 mg.?2003-mar.2004 gaining weight 8wk. taper,wellbutrin 150 mg.mar. -may 2004 ctmedfree til july 2005 back to Prozac gaining weight again,back on wellbutrin jan.2006150-300 mg.bad constipation.also was taking aygestin(hormone)perimenopausal irregular bleeding.back on Prozac around sept,?2006,hysterectomy jan30.2007(adenomyosis)off&on Prozac til 2009,citalopram about 1 mo, April 2010 no effect,Effexor again may -mar, 2011.ct,Prozac aug,-dec, 2011 &sept-nov 2012,paroxetine oct,23 2013-may 4 2014 20 mgs.tapered 6 wks.-failed RI in Oct.2014-in protracted WD.started 10 mgs. Fluoxetine May 25 2021 .Stopped fluoxetine May 2022 at 5 mgs. Link to comment
Adown Posted December 10, 2021 Share Posted December 10, 2021 Hello pal... I'm really sorry for the end of this, I miss you and I will keep missing you, you may not be here phisically but you still make me feel emotional, somehow you're here, at least you're and will always be in my heart. Thanks for your help, your support and your spirit of fight. I will keep continue my path with you in my thinkings. Never forgotten. A big hug wherever you are, pal. Always with you... 2005: sertraline + clorazepate until summer 2006, I quit very slowly without any problem and feeling even better. 2008 (around, I don't remember) I tried fluoxetine but leave the second day after a extrapidamidal syndrome. 2010: mirtazapine 30 mg + diazepam 10 mg, both everyday 2011: I tried to quit mirtazapine with the help of the psychiatrist, but nothing. I visit other psychiatrist and everyhing fails when escitalopram+mirtazapine and adding orfidal instead of diazepam, then I was 50mg every 12 hours of clorazepate for fix the damage of the new medication and I back to mirtazapine+diazepam. 2014: still with mirtazapine+diazepam, I quit diazepam, but then I back due I was not feeling better as I expected, I did like this: June 30/20mg, July 15/10mg, August 5mg, September just around 6 days 5mg, October 0, November 0, December back to 5/10, January same. 2015: Trying to quit mirtazapine since August, August was alternating few days between 30/22.5/15, September 22.5/15mg, October 15mg, November 15mg, December 15/7.5/0, January 15/7.5/0. My diagnostic before 2010 (all by doctors) was depression and anxiety, in 2010 was diagnostic with depression, anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, pineal cyst and don't remember if something more. Diagnostic since summer 2014 (all by doctors) is the same adding basal anxiety, agorofobia, anhedomia, depersonalization, derealization, hypothymia, asthenia. I will add obsesive compulsive disorder. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7869-adown-help-me-in-my-history/ Link to comment
NoMeaning25 Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 On 9/22/2020 at 2:24 AM, Altostrata said: I am very sorry to report -- I have been informed by her friends: Muddles could not bear the resurgence of her symptoms and took her own life August 15, 2020. Many of us knew Muddles for years. She became a member here in February, 2014. This is heartbreaking, she was on the road to recovery. She will be profoundly missed. I hope you understand, that not all of us recover. I hope you do not deny that some of us suffer more severe than others. I spoke to muddles right before she took her own life. She suffered greatly. I am still severely suffering, with no let up of my symptoms. Im at a point where i cant hold on anymore. I am not alone. There are many old timers who stopped posting on here, who are still disabled 10,15,20 years later. Ive lost all hope. Im completely disabled. Ive waited and waited but the more ive been waiting the sicker ive become. Was on Citalopram 20mg since Feb 2008 - switched to Paxil 20mg in August 2010 Tapered way too fast in April 2012 by skipping days. Taper completed in 6 weeks Tried prozac 20mg for 3 days - felt spaced out, not better. Tried 30mg Cymbalta for 2 days. SEVERE ADVERSE REACTION Antidepressant free since 14 August 2012 Birth control on and off during this time - Last taken 18 June 2017 - Morning after pill Started mainly using 0.5mg Xanax beginning 2016 for severe panic attacks and anxiety due to trauma Xanax on and off never more than 0.5mg at a time, never taking it 3 days in a row - used sparingly 6 Years antidepressant free - Still in severe withdrawal with over 60 symptoms Severe setback started May 2018 with no let up to date. Developed many new symptoms like tremors, inner vibrations, insomnia, visual distortions and dr/dp are 100x worse, i have severe sensitivity to movement, My dizziness and vertigo got worse and it now feels like im constantly rocking on a boat, my anxiety is sky high, suicidal idiation is back, i feel extremely brain damaged Link to comment
ShadowDancer Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 There are some people over on benzo buddies who couldn't recover in 10+ years as well. Started to think like some of the neurons are permanently dead due to these drugs causing excitatoxicty. Lexapro 10-20mg 2016-2018 2 full years cold turkey no withdrawals, Lexapro 10-20mg 01/2021-08/2022 cold turkey missed doses, alternated between high and low doses, no withdrawals 1/7-1/14/2023 Ciprofloxacin for 1 week 500mgx2 in January 2023, resulted in headaches that went away in 2 months 3/21-3/35/2023 Oxybutinin for 4 days 3/21-3/30/2023 Ofloxacin 400*9 days in March, gave me insomnia 3/23-3/25/2023 Passiflora+Valerian Capsule for 2 nights, doesn't work. 3/26-3/29/2023 Unisom (Doxylamine) for three nights, it would work on the second night but would not do anything on the 3rd. 03/29-05/10/2023 Mirtazapine 7.5mg/15mgs depending on the night this also would work for 3 nights, I would switch to Unisom every 4th night. Took for a total of 15-20 times in 42 nights. 5/11/2023 Atarax(hydroxine) only once but spiked my tinnitus and gives me DP/DR in the morning, after this I could fall a sleep on my own with no meds. Later on Unisom also spikes my tinnitus. 06/01/2023 Brain Zaps start, I get back to alternating mirtazapine,passiflora, melatonin, for 40+ more days. Symptoms got worse. 06/15/2023 Trazodone 50MGs once. Did nothing. 3/2023 - 9/2023 NAC, Alpha lipoic Acid, Magnesium, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Calcium. Once or twice I took 5HTP and L-theanine. Took Fish Oil Omega-3 for 1-2 months. 11/8/2023 250mgs of Keppra ONCE. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted February 28 Administrator Share Posted February 28 Not sure why anyone is arguing about this. No one can tell the future. What does believing you'll never recover gain for you? Are you looking for a reason to kill yourself? You always have the choice of suicide, and I respect that. I'm very sorry Muddles is gone. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
checco Posted February 28 Share Posted February 28 I have thought about suicide at various times in my life, I don't judge those who have taken their own lives.After suicide there is no turning back, the condition of many is difficult and unbearable. But it is not a degenerative disease, we are not sure whether it will get worse or stay that way throughout one's life, in fact, this tends to improve very slowly. These people who are no longer here are always in my thoughts, they are victims of a sick system that is deaf to every voice of those who suffer after taking these drugs. 1 I started very young taking psychotropic drugs with various suspensions and withdrawals mistaken for relapses, I don't know if this can affect what happens to me now. I can neither The drug nor the dose. 2013-2014 wellbutrin (I don't remember the dose) 2015-2016 brintellix 30 mg 2016-2017 sertraline 50 mg I stopped taking it and had a seizure which was mistaken for a flare of the disease replaced with mirtazapine in 2018 30mg at 10.30pm then stopped taking it because I was gaining weight Too september 2019 has november severe withdrawal symptoms anxiety i woke up shaking then found this site reverted to 3mg mirtazapine and within 15 minutes all symptoms vanished.After stabilizing for 4 months I began to reduce by 10% every 4 weeks manageable symptoms end of reduction 28 January 2022 Last dose of mirtazapine January 27 0.1 mg manageable symptoms until July 2023 where a wave caused by Stress made me incapacitated in bed. I take micro doses of lamictal 0.5mg for 4 days 0.7mg for 4 days 1.2 for 4 days 1.7 for 4 days the dose that seems to help is 2.2mg more than this starts to cause problems.Now down to 2mg Link to comment
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