btdt Posted January 11, 2016 Share Posted January 11, 2016 Happy New Year Muddles WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 12, 2016 Author Share Posted January 12, 2016 Thanks btdt. Hope things are improving some with you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
AliG Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Muddles. I'm lighting a candle too, as we speak , for those we have lost but also for the hope of recovery, in the coming year. Wishing you well. Hugs, Ali. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
luv2knit Posted January 12, 2016 Share Posted January 12, 2016 Hope you are hanging in there, Muddles! Happy New Year! Haven't been on much, and have been in a bad wave since Christmas. XOXO Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 14, 2016 Author Share Posted January 14, 2016 Thanks Ali and Luv. Struggling with that severe, overwhelming depression again. Thought that had calmed down but back in full force. Head pains really drove to the edge last week - I'm not sure what causes them. They are not 'normal' headaches. They are enough to drive anyone to the brink. One thing goes but then replaced with something else. It's like being on a roller coaster. Right now I'm making my way up that awful steep hill, holding on tight and preparing myself for what's coming. Something's coming - I can feel it and I hate it. I want to get off!!!!! 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
AliG Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 Muddles. It's beyond belief, what some of us here have to endure, but you do it with a certain dignity & grace, that I find admirable and inspiring. I'm dealing with the same thing , right now, with the overwhelming depression. It is " the black hole ". ! It goes in waves. I can't even begin to imagine how you deal with severe head pain on top of that. Let's all hang on for that roller coaster ride. Together, we can do this. Hugs, Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 14, 2016 Author Share Posted January 14, 2016 Sorry you're suffering with the awful big black dog too. Thanks for holding on with me. I'm sure one day it will stop and we'll be able to get off!! 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
AliG Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 Thanks Muddles. It will be ok . This is " finite & temporary " !! Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
btdt Posted January 14, 2016 Share Posted January 14, 2016 I know this is chancy but ibuprofen may help the head there was a time I took one every morning... I just could not function without it. If that feels too risky maybe a touch of taurine ... not the entire capsule just a tad... if all else fails cold packs on the neck and head heat on the spine... best ideas I have for head pain actually I would do this one first if it works it is completely non chemical ...no side effects. Deep relaxation always tops. I wish you peace Muddles. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 16, 2016 Author Share Posted January 16, 2016 Thanks btdt. I do use some cold strips on the forehead which help. I also had a couple of paracetamol which I usually try to avoid but was desperate. They helped slightly. Now I'm suffering with the severe depression again. Racing thoughts etc. Not sleeping much. I thought that had gone and I actually had forgotten how bad it was. I mean I always have some level of depression but not the curled up, fetal position kind anymore. Not coping. Scared. Tired. Want this to be over. 16 months off. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
btdt Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 It really sucks as bad as my memory is just now I do remember for some reason I forget the good and recall this crap. I mentioned the ibuprofen as I was reminded of it that day reading Fresh's post about aspertame and an old link I finally took a closer look at. IB made the list... I will go get it... blue = Glutamate Blockers ibuprofen, baclofen, memantine, riluzole, tramado, tizanodine,haloperidal,benadryl,vitamin e,cinnamon, antihistamines, special K which is ketamine, nicotine I was bad when I used it I was in one of my reckless states where I had to do something. I think I took one each morning for months lowest dose advil brand name only. I think it is more apt to be consistent in content. I never touch aspertame or msg the link is here http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/10741-aspartame-depression-and-ssris/ if your up to it. wishing you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Adown Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 Hello pal. As the rest and as you said, wish the best for you and your loved ones. I don't know what to say this time, so well... big pal hug. 2005: sertraline + clorazepate until summer 2006, I quit very slowly without any problem and feeling even better. 2008 (around, I don't remember) I tried fluoxetine but leave the second day after a extrapidamidal syndrome. 2010: mirtazapine 30 mg + diazepam 10 mg, both everyday 2011: I tried to quit mirtazapine with the help of the psychiatrist, but nothing. I visit other psychiatrist and everyhing fails when escitalopram+mirtazapine and adding orfidal instead of diazepam, then I was 50mg every 12 hours of clorazepate for fix the damage of the new medication and I back to mirtazapine+diazepam. 2014: still with mirtazapine+diazepam, I quit diazepam, but then I back due I was not feeling better as I expected, I did like this: June 30/20mg, July 15/10mg, August 5mg, September just around 6 days 5mg, October 0, November 0, December back to 5/10, January same. 2015: Trying to quit mirtazapine since August, August was alternating few days between 30/22.5/15, September 22.5/15mg, October 15mg, November 15mg, December 15/7.5/0, January 15/7.5/0. My diagnostic before 2010 (all by doctors) was depression and anxiety, in 2010 was diagnostic with depression, anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, pineal cyst and don't remember if something more. Diagnostic since summer 2014 (all by doctors) is the same adding basal anxiety, agorofobia, anhedomia, depersonalization, derealization, hypothymia, asthenia. I will add obsesive compulsive disorder. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7869-adown-help-me-in-my-history/ Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 16, 2016 Author Share Posted January 16, 2016 Thanks btdt. Sick of this having to avoid everything and not being able to do things that would usually help the 'normal' brain. Just plain sick and tired. My body and mind are extremely tired. I don't know how to keep going day after day - having to pretend to everyone that I'm half ok when im not. I don't want to bring the family down and my plea for help constantly falls on deaf ears and drives people away. Thanks Adown. Bid hugs to you too. Thinking of you. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
btdt Posted January 16, 2016 Share Posted January 16, 2016 I so hear you loud and clear been the same way for a good part of most the recent years... when I crack and say I can't do this... everything gets quiet nobody answers or hears me. This is a very lonely existence and the limits make it ever worse I agree and I know... we feel so bad some times we crack and it falls on our loved ones then we feel even worse or I do... there is no even ground where wd is ok and I can say I need this as nobody can provide what I need... I can't even do it.. or don't even know what I need and it shifts constantly.... one day I can do something and I am ok the next I can't go near it cause of a smell or some other system default I cannot identify... one day I can drive another day I can't quite pull it off... months go by where I can drive I can do this and that and I expect to be able to do those things then there is a shift and I can't what the hell is this... how much longer ... all those questions and no answers... So yes I know I just don't know how to remain completely flexible for the next bit that is coming that I can't guess now... and at the same time maintain a face for those I love and find some solid ground for my feet. The skills I have learned so far I guess are important but the fact is I can very quickly be put right back to needing bed and a relaxation video for my survival... it makes not sense it does not seem to be ending and it will change... it will change is often the hope I hang on to... cause it will over and over again it has changed for the better... and yes for the worse... so when things are bad I know I can count on change for the better to come. Anything that has worked for you in the past now is the time to pull out your tool box and use it all. I wish you peace with love B WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
KT38 Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 How long have you been off btdt? Dec 2014 I tried Zoloft 25mg for one week (adverse reaction - extreme anxiety and felt like I was on an amphetamine). Dr. said to quit cold turkey, so I not only quit Zoloft but also 2 weeks of Xanax .25mg -- extreme dizziness, hyperarousal and anxiety began! On Jan. 29, 2015 my psychiatrist put me on new stuff and this is how my next 2 months and 7 days looked like (I was having the same bad reactions to all of these):Effexor XR 37.5mg (3 days) - throwing up, heart palpations, night tremors/convulsions or something where whole body shakes for a second, Prozac 10mg (15 days), Prozac 20mg (7 days) - internal restlessness, electric current through body/brain (not zaps), agitation, intense fear and could no longer nap at this point (still can't today because of this), Lexapro 5mg (4 days) - same as Prozac, a horror show...extreme internal agitation, Lexapro 7.5mg (2 days), Lexapro 10mg (16 days), Zoloft 12.5mg (3 days)...she said try it again since my blood relative does well on it, Zoloft 25mg (7 days) - same as before and getting worse!! Zoloft 50mg (6 days), Zoloft 25mg (4 days and then came off cold turkey on April 8, 2015). I used Xanax .25mg about 7 times per month through all of this until June 30, 2015 (my last benzo dose). Extreme anxiety, nervous system traumatized, mental akathisia, anger triggered by nothing but the brain totally going off on its own, feeling of a pressurized electric current going through me like my brain and body are trying to explode, stress reaction x10000 to everything, waking in terror lasting all day, fear, very sensitive, brain can't keep up, don't know what to do with myself, feeling like everything is going too fast and I can't keep up, helium head, deep depression like something is ripping out my soul, out of my mind, can hardly drive or be alone, cognitive issues, simple tasks are so complex and straining, feel disturbed because the brain can't process anything right even though your brain tries so hard and it makes you go mad, episodes of deep anguish with a sick toxic poison feeling (like you have some unknown virus). Link to comment
btdt Posted January 17, 2016 Share Posted January 17, 2016 How long have you been off btdt? 8 years if you want to talk about me please see my thread as linked at the end of my posts I don't want to muck up Muddles page Thanks WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 17, 2016 Author Share Posted January 17, 2016 Btdt - Dr Healy reckons this is related to peripheral neuropathy - that's what he has put in my letter. You mentioned foot drop whilst you were on Effexor. A lot of people get this with peripheral neuropathy. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 18, 2016 Author Share Posted January 18, 2016 I think there is much more involved though btdt. I'm done trying to figure it all out. Struggling today with the breathing again. The pain is insane. The darkness in my head I just can't escape but like you said btdt - I will have to sit and wait for the shift. Please hurry. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Cherry47 Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Muddles, I so feel for you with those headaches! Contending with the same thing myself, can't put pressure on any part of my head, sitting up all day and half the night, am exhausted. Hope you get past this soon, yes please hurry! Chronic Fatigue Syndrome for 32 years, given AD for this condition alone in 2000 Zoloft 100mg for 15 years, last five of these complained about adverse effects, unable to tolerate other meds even supplements Slowly felt sicker, advised by different Dr maybe on ads for too long Cut back 100 - 50 over 6 months, still getting worse, so stopped over about 6 weeks starting Dec 2014 First month, slow, emotional, useless then POW! Horrendous withdrawal symptoms, completely non-functional for about five months, slowly started to come back to life and continue with waves and windows, still more bad than good, but bads are less bad, and goods slightly better each time Link to comment
divalee Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Muddles, and all here who are suffering so much.......let us all hold on to each other on this roller coaster ride...please....don't let any of us let go..... This will end for all of us one day.....just you wait and see.....we will fly over that rainbow to beautiful sunshine again...just you wait and see. Cherry, btdt, AliG, Adown, KT38. thank you for also helping me through this year I have been with all of you. You are precious gems who light my darkest times.....I do miss Pugknows a lot.....she was such an inspiration. Muddles - it will end - someday it will.....I think meditation and mindfulness helps a lot - but it seems I cannot even do that ...I will keep on trying If happy little bluebirds fly Beyond the Rainbow So can.............you.................and............I ......... Love Lee Zoloft started for 8 years - 150 mg capsules Started tapering December 3, 2011, Off Zoloft May 17, 2013 While tapering WDS were tolerable Off Zoloft debilitating WDS the worst starting around 6 months off even worse after 18 months off Now 35 months off - still in a terrible wave for months now. Link to comment
btdt Posted January 18, 2016 Share Posted January 18, 2016 Try cold packs for your head Muddles cold on the neck heat on the spine is what I do. Meditaiton...I am a broken record it helps. wishing you peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 28, 2016 Author Share Posted January 28, 2016 Akathisia has hit. Waking up earlier and earlier every night....sweating, heart racing, severe doom and depression everywhere - even in my legs!!! My eyesight is off - double vision. Severe SI! This is bad. Never had it this bad and it's been pretty horrific all the way through. I'm scared. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Laura1981 Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 So sorry to hear this Muddles. You really deserve a break from all this horror. Did anything trigger this? Did you eat anything? Any chemicals around? I hope it goes away soon. Feb 2015 Took venlafaxine for 5 days only... experienced withdrawal that made me completely non-functional Mar 2015 took under 1mg of Sertraline for 10 days in an attempt to combat Venlafaxine withdrawal. Got adverse reactions. After stopping Sertraline, withdrawal got much worse. New, horrific symptoms. June 2015 Still non-functional but slowly getting better. Still brain zaps, migraines, sweating, heart racing, depression, crying spells September 2015: 24/7 brain zaps, twitches in the face, no concentration, bad memory, language skills deteriorating. Profile feed: http://goo.gl/3g2GRn Sign this petition for a blackbox warning on Prozac in Ireland: https://www.change.org/p/leo-varadakar-hpra-the-lack-of-a-blackbox-warning-on-prozac-in-ireland-and-its-use-by-the-hse-in-under-18-s?recruiter=63289046&utm_source=share_petition&utm_medium=facebook&utm_campaign=share_for_starters_page&utm_term=des-lg-no_src-no_msg Link to comment
luv2knit Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 (((Muddles))) hoping this is all short lived, and that you start to stabilize soon! Zoloft 100 mg. daily for Chronic Fatigue Syndrome since Oct. 1994 / Synthroid 88 mcg. daily / Supplements: Neptune Krill Oil-1,000 mg. twice daily/Astaxanthin 10 mg. twice daily/Ubiquinol 100 mg. twice daily (These 3 have allowed me to discontinue (approved by doctor) bp meds I was on. Calcium Citrate 500 mg. daily/Vitamin D3 2,400 iu daily/K2 (MK7) 100 mcg daily (osteopenia and fam. hist. of severe osteoporosis). Stress B Complex (1/2 dose)/Quercetin (for allergies/asthma)/Magnesium (400 mg. oral glycinate and about 50 mg. magnesium chloride spray oil a day, divided throughout day). Tapered Zoloft about 6 wks. Totally off since the end of July (25-29, 2014). 3 wks. vertigo at end of taper, then 3-4 wks. OK, followed by withdrawal symptoms increasing in severity (nausea, gastric disturbances, loss of appetite, insomnia, restlessness, jitters, anxiety, agitation--jumping out of my skin--possible akathisia?) Seem to have paradoxical reactions to everything new, even Vitamin C. Severity of akathisia comes and goes, but is constant to some degree. Hard to leave house, and cannot be home alone. (Retired) Link to comment
AliG Posted January 28, 2016 Share Posted January 28, 2016 Muddles. Sending love and support , your way. Love, Ali Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
btdt Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 If you can a bath may help... plain old water and all the other things I said already... stay in bed if you need to and can if you can't walk.. did I say that already I think I did.. walk in the house if you can't get out. Use up the adrenaline...deep relaxation if you can even it you can't try it... try tapping... WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted January 29, 2016 Share Posted January 29, 2016 This is my guy for tapping he has a few videos.. peace Muddles relaxation in case you not up to looking it up. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 29, 2016 Author Share Posted January 29, 2016 I don't think it's anything to do with the senstivities although I'm extremely sensitivie to everything right now. Something's changed. I'm not sleeping well - this awful doom feeling in my stomach. Nothing like anxiety, I'm not sure what is is but It's that bad I am being pysichally sick. Sweating, heart racing and just really not good at all. Mentally - just awful. Don't know what to do with myself at all. Want it to stop. Thanks for your support and these vids btdt. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted January 29, 2016 Author Share Posted January 29, 2016 It doesn't really feel like adrenaline. I really can't describe it. Just horror. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Flowers Posted January 30, 2016 Share Posted January 30, 2016 So sorry Muddles - I can't think of anything that might help you but I really hope this soon passes for you. Hugs Flowers xxx 15 yrs on 20 to 30 mgs CITALOPRAM. MAY 2014 Increased to 40 mgs per day.SEPT/NOV 2014 tapered in 6 weeks down to 10 mgs as per Dr instructions due to violent nightmares/palpitations.Given Noctamid (lormetazepam) to help with anxiety. On average took 2mg per day for 8 weeks.No taper was advised.DEC 2014 WD severe. Nervous tic in eyes and limbs, muscle pain,fluct temp, weakness, dep and anxiety, nausea, giddy, unstable when walking. Different Dr suggested taking 20mgs CIT. BROMAZEPAM 3mgs up to 3 x daily for anxiety.DEC 9 2014 Updose CIT to 30mgs. Only taking BROMAZEPAM in emergency.DEC 31 2014 Settling at 30mg CIT - helping with depression. No Brom for 2wks.Found SA.APR 2015 Trying to stabilise on 30mgs CIT. JAN 2016 Started Cit Taper reducing by 5% per month. 28.5 mgs FEB Taper held bereavement. APR Taper resumed 27mgs . MAY 25.50 mgs . JUNE 24 mgs . JULY I stupidly mixed up my BP meds with CIT. Consequently took no CIT for 3 days and doubled my BP meds. Waiting for the fallout....Holding for a while until any chance of repercussions have abated. SEPT taper resumed to 22.5 mgs . OCT 21 mgs .NOV 19.95 mgs DEC crashed. 2017: FEB 3rd updose to 20.5 mgs to try to stabilise.FEB.switched over to 75mgs of Venlafaxine XR for 3 weeks.Too stimulating so switching back to Cit. 12 March 37.5 Ven and 20 Cit. 21 March 18mg Ven 20mg Cit. 4 April 9mg Ven 20mg Cit. Xanax .50mg when needed. 13 April 0 mgs Ven, 20mg Citalopram. Xanax .50 mg per day. 5 May reinstated a small amount of Ven to stabilize 1 mg twice a day. 20 mg Citalopram at night. Xanax .25 mg twice per day.Other Meds: Losartan (BP)Started 1993 at 50 mgs at night. Seretide (Asthma) Started 1996 at 1 puff twice a day. Jan 2019 Antibiotic Ceclor 500mgs twice a day for bronchitis and Atrovent 2ml capsules twice a day for asthma. Finished the course of both Jan 17. XANAX Jan 27 - Feb 3 2019 Failed Valium Crossover. Feb 14 2019 Updosed Xanax by .0625 Feb 17 2019 Decreased Xanax by .0625. Back to .50mg daily. Update Xanax 28.2.20 tapered to .1250 mg 8am .25 mg midnight. Update Xanax 11.8.21 tapered to .25 mg at night. Current Meds 28.2.19: CITALOPRAM 20mg taken at midnight. VENLAFAXINE .9 mg twice a day at 8am and 10pm. XANAX .50 mg split into 4 doses per day. 10am .0625mg / 2pm .1250mg/ 6pm .0625mg / midnight .25mg.Update 10.8.22 .25 mg at night. LOSARTAN 50 mgs taken at midnight. SERETIDE 1 puff taken at 8am and 10pm. 7.7.19 VENLAFAXINE UPDATE: Started tapering 10% every 4 weeks. Currently .4 mg twice a day at 8am and 10 pm. 2.9.19 .36 mg x 2. 1.10.19 .32 mg x 2. 26.11.19 .29 mg x2. 26.12.19 .26 mg x 2. 23.1.20 .23 mg x 2. 20.2.20 .21 mg x2.20.3.20 .19 mg x 2. 21.4.20 .17 mg x 2. 19.5.20 .13 mg x 2. 18.6.20 .11mg x 2 .18.7.20.10 mg x 2.1.9.20.09 mg x 2. 30.9. 20 .08 mg x 2. 1.11.20 .07 mg x 2. 2.12.20 .06 mg x 2. 8.1.21 .05 mg x 2. 4.2.21 .04 mg x 2. 9.3.21 .03 mgx2. 7.4.21 .02 mg x 2. 9.5.21 .01 mg x 2. 21.6.21 .01 mg x 1. 11.8.21 ZERO! Link to comment
Muddles Posted February 1, 2016 Author Share Posted February 1, 2016 Thanks flowers. Hugs to you too. Just more to add the to the Symptom list. I thought things were maybe getting a tad better but no, just worse than I ever have been. I am in agony mentally and physically 24/7. My sleep is near enough none existent. I feel like I have nothing in my brain. Like I've been deleted. Yet I'm still alive. That's the hardest thing. It's not anhedonia. It's a complete human deletion. Pile on tons of other in-humane symptoms - the suffering is something you would only think could happen in a horror show. I appolgise for my non-ending depressive posts for the past two years. Apart from that half an hour window I got a few months ago I have has no sign of hope. No signs of me ever returning to even 1% of who I was before this. The recent decline has left me totally incapacitated. My friend suggested I look into getting a mobile scooter so at least I could get out. Thing is - I don't even want to go out. My brain is that that messed up that I can't cope going out - some kind of agoraphobia on top! I was going to do a symptom list - maybe something I could look back on but I'm too scared. It's just too much. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
btdt Posted February 5, 2016 Share Posted February 5, 2016 I can't make it stop but it sounds like it is time to circle the wagons when the idea of making a list is frightening for some reason that cued me in I recall it. Now is time for colouring baths when you can and decent food when you can... NO news to hell with it the world will do fine without you for a time. Cartoons light shows read your kids story books or maybe no shows this is survival mode relaxation tapes rest quiet music all you can get. If you can make a place maybe your bed ....my place was my bed as I rent a room so it was mostly my bed gather some things to your place so you have them. I don't care if your 40 if a teddy bear to hug helps it helps get it in the place so it is handy... pillows ... water you have to stay hydrated. And ask for help when you need it. Like all the other things this one will pass too. It really will it just takes time. Once you have a tool box of things ideas plans and real things to get thru the rough spots you will always have it that is the only up side and when this is done you will have a new understanding of how metal tough your really are... I imagine some day in the future when I am fully well small things will no longer bother me... compared to this they will not register and I hope that is true. I wish you peace. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 I have lost hope btdt. Do you know what this damage resembles? An ice pick frontal lobe Labotomy. The damage is that severe that I don't even knownhow to explain the damage. I need my frontal lobe to explain it...to help myself, to research etc and I can't do it. It's so severe that I don't even realise how severe it is until I go out into the normal world and see people....it makes me feel like I'm not part of the human race. I have nothing in common with any living human being what so ever. It's not just anhedonia. Not even dp/dr. It's just a sick, sick feeling of half of my brain has been numbed with the freezing stuff the dentists use to numb gums. I can't think of the name. This probably doesn't even make sense. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted February 7, 2016 Author Share Posted February 7, 2016 Can someone lock this thread please? I don't think I'm doing myself or anyone else any good posting here anymore. I get desperate and don't think before I come and post. I would rather not have that option. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted February 7, 2016 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted February 7, 2016 Lidocaine I think. You are doing fine. I don't think you need locking or your intro. does. I understand the horror and all the yuck you describe. Even the feeling like you have become some menace to the forum here. You are not. You are describing what I am feeling at times too. I have even had some frontal head pressure that is new and leads to automatic thoughts of it's all over. Thoughts that this really is the end of my life not just withdrawal anymore. Then they finally go. I am not hearing desperate but good descriptions of stuff that I can't describe and then I just say........thank God.......me too..........it's almost comforting. This stuff is awful........horrible...........and I hope we both forget it when it is gone. It will be gone someday. It will. Stay with us. Let us hold you on up for a bit and understand. Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Adown Posted February 7, 2016 Share Posted February 7, 2016 Can someone lock this thread please? I don't think I'm doing myself or anyone else any good posting here anymore. I get desperate and don't think before I come and post. I would rather not have that option. You the have right to for express yourself, pal, to unburden (if my English is right)... A hug. 2005: sertraline + clorazepate until summer 2006, I quit very slowly without any problem and feeling even better. 2008 (around, I don't remember) I tried fluoxetine but leave the second day after a extrapidamidal syndrome. 2010: mirtazapine 30 mg + diazepam 10 mg, both everyday 2011: I tried to quit mirtazapine with the help of the psychiatrist, but nothing. I visit other psychiatrist and everyhing fails when escitalopram+mirtazapine and adding orfidal instead of diazepam, then I was 50mg every 12 hours of clorazepate for fix the damage of the new medication and I back to mirtazapine+diazepam. 2014: still with mirtazapine+diazepam, I quit diazepam, but then I back due I was not feeling better as I expected, I did like this: June 30/20mg, July 15/10mg, August 5mg, September just around 6 days 5mg, October 0, November 0, December back to 5/10, January same. 2015: Trying to quit mirtazapine since August, August was alternating few days between 30/22.5/15, September 22.5/15mg, October 15mg, November 15mg, December 15/7.5/0, January 15/7.5/0. My diagnostic before 2010 (all by doctors) was depression and anxiety, in 2010 was diagnostic with depression, anxiety, avoidant personality disorder, pineal cyst and don't remember if something more. Diagnostic since summer 2014 (all by doctors) is the same adding basal anxiety, agorofobia, anhedomia, depersonalization, derealization, hypothymia, asthenia. I will add obsesive compulsive disorder. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/7869-adown-help-me-in-my-history/ Link to comment
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