Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 What foods should i try to eat? I crave bread and sweets and pizza Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 26, 2015 Author Share Posted June 26, 2015 And my dr my husband got me to see him i don t know when or remember...but i think he said something about me wanting to be a child????????and so to be protected that i am doing it intentionally or subconsc probably I am retarted not wanting to be a child.... This is discusting. Your doctor is an absolute jerk and I'm so sorry you are being treated like this, I am so angry for you. Does your husband not speak up for you? You need to find some doctor who believes you or at least listen to you. You also need someone to speak on behalf of you...someone who is supportive and actually believes and understands this. I always take a friend to the doctor as I am not capable of remembering things or forget why I've gone etc. I am just so, so livid with this situation...I'm actually screaming for you! You will get better than this...promise. I was so much worse on the drug last year. I couldn't make conversations with anyone. I was completely brain dead. Listen to the tapering advice here - get someone who knows you well to help with it. Can't your husband come on here and see what is being advised? He can read other threads too....he needs to understand and help you and if not him - what about a friend or another relative?[/ I don t have anybody anymore I had for years but as i got worse they ...and i am very hard to deal with i am very sick...delusions maybe negative aggresive or angry very confused cannot communicate with anybody brain damage for sure Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Faith..I would think as much nutritional food that you can..does your husband cook for you? Easy to digest foods..cooked vegetables, fruits, chicken, fish, natural yoghurt 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
Adagiooo Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Faith my heart goes out to you. The only reason you are "hard to deal with" is because of these f&$@ing meds. If I were you I would take what the doctor says with a grain of salt. You are not wanting to be a child...you are vulnerable and fragile and scared and sick from the meds. I agree with L&L, try to eat foods that are easy to digest and see if your husband will help you with meal preparation. I wish you so much peace and healing Faith as it seems you are really suffering. You DESERVE to feel better. I hope you feel better. Take good care of yourself and try hard not to eat too many sweets...they can make you feel worse. But I understand the cravings, they can be difficult to combat. Hang on Faith, you'll get through this. 2001-04 Polypharmacy to include Paxil,Celexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Depakote, Ambien, Geodon, Valium, Ativan, Haldol 03/04-11/04 Abilify 11/04-05/07 CT Abilify Non symptomatic 6/07 took Valium, began to experience altered reality and physical symptoms of withdrawal from Valium. 07/08. Abilify 2 mg, 12/08 Abilify 1 mg, 03/09 Abilify 0 mg, 03/08-06/11Altered reality but fully functional 10/12 hospitalized, Invega Depot, 2 shots discontinued, severe insomnia 6/14-10/14 flexeril, discontinued, developed insomnia; 10/14 10 mg Doxepin I week, no help with insomnia; 10/14 Remeron for two days, paradoxical reaction Present Risperdal 1mg, clonazepam 2 mg, Restoril 15 mg. Went from .5 to 1 to 1.5 to 2mg of clonazepam in 2014. Also in 2014, tapered from 2 mg risperdal to 1.5 (fairly slowly but still too fast) and had to up dose back to 2 mg. Got liquid risperdal and started from 2 mg again. Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted June 26, 2015 Share Posted June 26, 2015 Faith, Are you managing to lower the dose of the medication as Alto suggested? I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
AliG Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Faith, I know you're struggling. We're all here for you. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 Thank you all, please stand by me no matter what. I see everything very distorted i am sure of that! I think i went out for a little bit but still in one of my mental states, i remember almost nothing. I think i woke up during the night last night with so much hate and evilness, not reality i am sure, none of these mental changes are in reality. I am fragmented in changing mental states one after another, i think it might be also depersonalisation. I am not with the world, i don t know how to behave or act, i say mean things to my family with such hate and i believe i am right but i am not i am sure. My mind is totally screwed up. I don t exist Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 I don t know if i should drop buspar again because i cannot say if it is worse or not Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 I have moments of fear like crazy i bundle up in my blanket with my pillow on top of my head Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 27, 2015 Author Share Posted June 27, 2015 Can withdrawal make me so fearful and then angry crazyi think much more confused overall very incapacitated and manic like very irritable i don t know what is what paranoid very out of everything like on my own planet Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
AliG Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Just keep following "Alto" until you're out of the "woods". Yes, it can make you "all of that". You will be ok. Many SSRI's and SSNRI's over 20 years. Zoloft for 7 years followed by Effexor, Lexapro, Prozac, Cymbalta, Celexa, Pristiq, Valdoxan, Mianserin and more - on and off. No tapering. Cold turkey off Valdoxan - end of May 2014 Psych Drug - free since May 2014 . Link to comment
btdt Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Your doctor is an idiot... child my ass, what d*ck. I was much like you when the doctors were done with me too. You will get thru this and one day laugh at him gleefully... I hope. Keep dropping... keep eating... whatever comes it is the drugs just keep going one foot in front of the other... all these states are drug related they will improve as you gradually heal. it takes time for you body/brain to heal. Try to ignore the healing noise and the doctors that are idiots I know it is difficult but do you best and just keep going.... when your going thru hell keep going I heard it was Winston Churchill who said that... think War cause this really is a war on drugs... our own personal war at the same time seek peace all the peace you can as it will help your body to heal.. anything that soothes other than drugs ... give it to yourself. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
LoveandLight Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Yes, faith..I struggle to keep up with my violent mood swings and personality changes..from hour to hour..not in my character..it's definitely not who we are x 2000 - sertraline for job anxiety low confidence (17 years old) ..which turned the next 16 years into nightmare! On/off sertraline severe withdrawals every time. 2014 - felt better as reduced dose of sertraline no more inner restlessness. Doctor rushed off again. Hit severe withdrawal. Lost the little I had in life. Couldn't get stable again on 12.5mg. Was switched to prozac. Had severe reaction to prozac..came off in November 2015 at 6mg as felt more confused and damaged on it..Even more withdrawal ..rage, depression, dyphoria, near constant suicidal ideation, self harm impulses, doom, concrete block in head, unable to do much of anything with this feeling in head..went back on 6mg of sertraline to see if would alleviate anything. It didn't..reduced from December to June 2016 came off at 2.5mg sertraline as was hospitalised for the severe rage, suicidal impulses, and put on 50mg lofepramine which in 2nd week reduced all symptoms but gave insomnia which still have..psych stopped lofepramine cold turkey..no increased withdrawal symptoms new symptoms from lofepramine except persistant insomnia which has as side effect. Taking Ativan for 8 months for the severe rage self harm impulses 1-3 times a week (mostly 2 times a week) at .5mg. Two months (I'm unsure exactly when the interdose started to happen) ago interdose withdrawal seemed to happen..2 days I think after the Ativan. Nightmare that could have been avoided! Link to comment
bluebalu86 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Faith, we're here for you and will not abandon you. I agree that your doctor is clueless and a jerk. It's all because of the meds. Listen to Alto's advice - she has your best interest at heart and will do everything in her power to help you. Please try to make your husband, a relative or a friend read this thread, understand your situation and assist you with tapering the drugs. I suffer from depression, anxiety, pure-o ocd, and panic attacks since 2004. Been on multiple different psychiatric drugs since 2006. Never had a significant WD problem before, only brain zaps for a month and then I'd be fine...............Been on Cipralex (escitalopram) 15 mg and Fluanxol (flupentixol) 1 mg since Sep 2014. Stopped taking the Cipralex after a fast 20-day taper.Took the last 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 5th, 2015. Then took Seroxat (paroxetine) 10 mg for a week, and stopped it too. Severe WD started suddenly on Feb 16th. RI 5 mg Cipralex on Feb 18th, 2015. RI worked and was relatively stable for a while................April 7 - decreased Fluanxol from 1 mg to 0.5 mg and took it at this dose for a week. - BIG MISTAKE; April 13 - WD starts creeping in; April 14 - RI full dose of Fluanxol 1 mg => severe muscle twitching and jerking when trying to relax and fall asleep, overwhelming sense of doom, dread, terror, and horror, insomnia, hoping to stabilize.Tried doing a 10% cut off Fluanxol in the end of May for a few days, but quickly updosed to full dose because the twitching returned.Experiencing waves and windows in the following months.Unsuccessful brief taper attempt of Fluanxol by 5% on November 1st. Symptoms hit the next day. Too scared to continue tapering, reinstate full dose.Severe crash in November after stupidly trying a barbiturate on November 9th. Grave mistake. Sense of unshakable inescapable internal torture, like my soul is in hell being tortured, terror/horror/dread/doom (probably akathisia?) that gets especially bad when trying to relax and fall asleep, muscles twitch, jerk and move on their own, shaking, insomnia, can't eat, confusion, disorientation, brain not working normally. Never felt so bad in my entire life. Never experiment with other meds while in WD! Praying to God I stabilize and get back to my baseline.December - things getting even worse. January - unbearable suffering Link to comment
Pugknows Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Hi Faith. Your situation breaks my heart. If I was well, I would get on a plane and take care of you and your children. You will be fine, sweetheart, as soon as the warring meds inside you are untangled and you can begin to stabilize. Do your best to listen to Alto's voice. Shut out the rest of the world and let her help you. She always tells you to do just one thing so as not to confuse you. Please try to do the one thing she advises, then the next thing, okay? Love you, Pug. January 2012 - Prescribed 900mg gabapentin and 30mg Norco for lower lumber spinal stenosis pain. September 2013 - Spinal fusion surgery, 6 levels. Hospital ramped up meds 1500mg gabapentin, 100mg Norco, 80mg Oxycontin, 25mg Fentanyl patch. January 2014 - Sever nausea daily and with back pain every 4 hours. 2 trips to ER. First endoscopy found ulcer. Treated with Sucralfate and PPI. Second endo in May found no ulcers. Doctors said it was the opiates causing the nausea. CT'd Oxycontin, Fentanyl patch. July 2014 - Lost 48 lbs. due to not eating because of severe nausea. GP prescribed Prozac 20mg and Ativan 2mg prn. Tried for 4 days, quit. Two week followup GP said keep taking Prozac. 4 days, quit again. Ativan taken rarely prn for anxiety and appetite. August 2014 - Went to detox. Off opiates. Still nauseous, helmet head, drugged feeling. Doctor CT'd gabapentin. Ended up in ER. Found 2 gallstones. Gabapentin reinstated at 900mg. Tried botched up and down taper to get off Gabapentin. No tapering advice from doctor. Said to just CT again. September 2014 - Coded on table during gallbladder surgery. Developed liver biloma due to CPR by doctor. Had bile bulb inserted for 2 wks to drain. October 2014 - Gallbladder removed. Still nauseous, 3am cortisol surging, drugged helmet head, vertigo, breathlessness, whooshing head, heart palps. November 8th, 2014 - CT'd gabapentin suggested by family and 4 different doctors. Was told no withdrawal is associated with gabapentin. Have been in hell ever since. No windows, just one big tsunami every day with same symptoms for 4 months. December 26, 2014 - Found SA. At least I know I'm not insane. My family thinks I'm doing this to myself. Akathesia has become unbearable. March 10, 2015 - In absolute daily hell with no relief. Currently taking magnesium 200mg before bedtime. Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I cannot give any goodness back to you... I dropped another 1/4 buspar yesterday, bad timinig maybe because i am almost in that period of the mth, i feel i need to move my body like crazy, hissing in my head i want to smash it, can t open the mouth, i am soooo evil and mean i just want to strangle somebody, cannot stand my family teeth are sharp as hell they hurt my tongue i am biting itand hurt with knives in them head twiching from one side to another, i am mad Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 All the nerves in my body are screaming ( that is i think since my brilliant dr ct off valium in the hospital) Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
btdt Posted June 28, 2015 Share Posted June 28, 2015 When my mouth was like that it seemed I did not want to open it a warm compress and opening the mouth just a bit seemed to help some. This too will pass hormones suck and many people speak to the effects being a bit rougher when they are hormonal and tapering. I am sure if you look you will find others saying the same thing. How about a warm bath? WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I have nerves screaming everywere my tongue my face legs back teeth eyes inside my ears feet God how i was on the floor screaming and totally crazy when they took out the valium, i feel like doing that now, and the evilness of the mind all my muschels twitching and the answer i just have anxiety stupid incompetent criminals Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 When my mouth was like that it seemed I did not want to open it a warm compress and opening the mouth just a bit seemed to help some. This too will pass hormones suck and many people speak to the effects being a bit rougher when they are hormonal and tapering. I am sure if you look you will find others saying the same thing. How about a warm bath? I ll try but scared of it and of the bathroom it looks like a grave like i cannot breathe in there now i have to try and take the morning meds my husband gets upset if i ask him he starts being mean Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 Yes, faith..I struggle to keep up with my violent mood swings and personality changes..from hour to hour..not in my character..it's definitely not who we are x I think i am changing minute to minute Does anybody cries alot when the mental state changes and wants to kill themselves ? And head tight and hurts like crazy along with tight jaws and neck? Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 28, 2015 Author Share Posted June 28, 2015 I cry so bad i am sobbing desperately one moment and i could kill myself then changes into something else Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I think it is akathisia with something else like movement disorder. My mind is going and going i am in my bedroom and i am so evil and my jaws is tight and moving my mind is so dark and head twiching from side to side i am so affraid i keep rocking in my bed cannot stand myself or anybodyelse i feel death in me and around me Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted June 30, 2015 Administrator Share Posted June 30, 2015 How much buspirone are you taking now, Faith? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 Half of 10 mg tablet at evening and 5 and a half morning. My mental process i think this is the right term to use, is nonexistent, its broken and i am sure it was horribly broken before too in the hosp and prior to that and with it my body is twisting neck puling back like it s going to break and if i fall asleep i woke up with helish vibrations inside don t know if it is part of akathisia or some other neurologycal hel i cant describe. I cant describe well anything with this mind and the pain in my head and the feeling of worms eating inside it along with change in mental process on and on i don t know who i am or what is going on i think i might have withdrawal also Would clonazepam create akathisia? I tried to go out a bit with my family but is was hell a lady came to me asked if i was ok i was absent couldn t understant the buldings were cut like my head felt cut in half along with eyes i was hurting so much I think this might be worse than dyng you die but you don t stp dying you die constantly Thank you to anybody that cares i am not making any sense i know Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Adagiooo Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Faith, I'm sorry you're suffering so terribly right now. Just hold on and keep posting on the site. You will get better, you will. I don't know if clonazepam causes akathesia, but it may be that all the different medications you're on are causing severe agitation or even Akathesia. Do not despair, you will get your mind back...but it's going to take some time. And you are making sense. Your descriptions of what you're enduring are very clear. I'm sending you hope, peace, healing and and a big comforting ((((((hug)))))). If you want to pm me please feel free to do so, I will get back to you as soon as I see it. 2001-04 Polypharmacy to include Paxil,Celexa, Risperdal, Seroquel, Depakote, Ambien, Geodon, Valium, Ativan, Haldol 03/04-11/04 Abilify 11/04-05/07 CT Abilify Non symptomatic 6/07 took Valium, began to experience altered reality and physical symptoms of withdrawal from Valium. 07/08. Abilify 2 mg, 12/08 Abilify 1 mg, 03/09 Abilify 0 mg, 03/08-06/11Altered reality but fully functional 10/12 hospitalized, Invega Depot, 2 shots discontinued, severe insomnia 6/14-10/14 flexeril, discontinued, developed insomnia; 10/14 10 mg Doxepin I week, no help with insomnia; 10/14 Remeron for two days, paradoxical reaction Present Risperdal 1mg, clonazepam 2 mg, Restoril 15 mg. Went from .5 to 1 to 1.5 to 2mg of clonazepam in 2014. Also in 2014, tapered from 2 mg risperdal to 1.5 (fairly slowly but still too fast) and had to up dose back to 2 mg. Got liquid risperdal and started from 2 mg again. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted June 30, 2015 Administrator Share Posted June 30, 2015 Faith, when is your next decrease of buspirone? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
RivkaE Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Dearest Silver Star, I posted for the first time today because I know what you are going through -- I posted for the first time today myself. I'm looking for compassion. We are in this together. You must treat yourself like a dear child. This is extremely difficult, for part of our disorder is to feel completely responsible for our condition. You are not! We only sought help and were made far more ill. We were just trying to do what was right for ourselves. I was such a champion of drug treatment -- who knew??? You can only try to do what you can do, which is right now try to hang in and either try to find a Dr. who will listen to you, or if you have someone close to you who can be entrusted with this -- try to get her or him to do it. This is your second step. Writing here is your first. Clearly you are strong, have survived so much and will survive this. A mantra for you (and for me!). Just writing you is teaching me how to regard myself. Use my eyes now -- and see yourself as being able to come through this in a much better place than you find yourself now. You heard it all from the others before me: yes there is a reason we went on these meds in the first place, but they have now created a condition with a life of its own. I can only add in regard to meds that I recently learned propanalol is contra-indicated with anti-depressants. I am right with you, as are so many others. Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Thank you, blessings. I am so damaged that my dr told there is no scientific explination for so many symptoms mental and physical and so horrible therefore it is conversion disorder. I am tired to fight for another moment to moment in pure hell for months and years, i am exhausted, i am not human anymore. I haven t been free of mental and physical torture for years maybe, i haven t gone to my kids birthdays or their games in years, house bound or hospitalized always in sheer hell trying to withdraw or starting something else .....no lucidity, pain pain physical torture mental torture and it continues with no memories, no sense of dates no time no year just out of my mind fighting like crazy to get better, battering myself, my body to get better...tried naturopathic drs, accupuncuture, chiro, massage, therapy... I do not have a sound mind anymore, far far from it, i have gained so much weight i think i don t know i cannot commprehened or realize it, abused, traumatized and trauma continuues, marriage is innexistent to me i am in my own crazy deformed reality, can t have interaction with my kids i am so retarted.....they probably grow i am absent and nuts and more torture coming... Me and my dr is like we speak two dif languages, he doeasn t understant what i mean (because i am so reduced) i don t understand what he means.....sometimes maybe i do if my mind processes are better for a second but i forget because the processes are so disconected....no joy, no love no laughter just torture and more torture, try to be able to take those poisons when the alarm sounds without even knowing what i am doing, i live for torture, loneliness, fear terror, taking poisons every 4 hours, making their lives hell because i am handicapped and hard to take care of, no friends because it is so bad that they cannot help anymore....i cannot go with my famyly on trps or vacations.....what am i going to do alone in the house in such horrible states?????and pain and crazyness......God I hope you do exist and you forgive me and send me some help, to all of us. Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 1, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 1, 2015 Please focus and answer my questions clearly and simply, Faith. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Thank to everybody that is writing to me, i can barely read or make sense of the posts, Idon t want pity I want to give love, to feel empathy, to not be so so sensitive and punish myself and hate myself and everything around so bad, I want to feel happiness, i want my mind clearer and my head free of this horrible mad sensations, i want peacein my mind and my body, i want to make my children laugh and not cry or affraid i might kill myself, i want to have control over me and my body to teach my children everything i can and i know, to understand their homework to realize that they go to school to cook for them lots of healthy foods and cookies, to leave this bed be able to comprehend to speak to socialize.....it is to late, there have been years of getting worse, i have no memories but flashbacks of hospitalisations, and that is it....10yrs of descent into madness with my kids being taken care of grandparents, friends, my husband alone........and torture Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I will try Altostrata, i am sorry if i did anything bad Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 1, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 1, 2015 Faith, when is your next decrease of buspirone? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Altostrata, Last one was June 27, that is what I wrote. So next one would be July 1st.... Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted July 1, 2015 Administrator Share Posted July 1, 2015 Thank you. Please help me by simply answering my occasional questions. I don't have time to post often in your topic. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Faithbarelysurviving Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 I don t know it may too fast.... Please have patience and read : a great Mental Health Care System indeed/Never been hospitalized prior to starting meds -Not sure all is accurate:2005 Diag. with major depression and anxiety after second birth -switched AD,getting worse (maybe:Celexa, Effexor, Wellbutrin-diagnosed with bp -Zyprexa, stopped it fast, got hosp.,Seroquel incr. at 300mg, wors. depr, akathisia bad, -changed dr.,dropped Seroquel 300mg to 100mg !!!- -new dr.got me off Seroquel in 1 mth at home!!Lamictal to help...getting worse,was also taking Clonazepam -severe muscle twiches, dp/dr,neck and shoulder muscles tight straight like cement, psychotic, bedridden for 1yr -Got put on Zoloft in the hosp.,and 3 mg of Clonazepam, "Stabilized" some after some months, 5-6, -Came off Zoloft by dropping some weekly, not knowing better!debilitating symptoms, got back on, tried to reduce Clonazepam after research.Prof. Ashton; hosp., asked dr. to follow Dr Ashton, he dropped 3 mg Clon. in One day!put on much less Valium...hysterical,pain,rage,couldn t breathe,akathisia etc etc -Zoloft up to 200mg!, hyperv. muscles tight like cement...my dr., on vacation!!Other dr red.zoloft, gave me Remeron Current meds:Buspirone 20mg,Tegretol200mg,Trazadone 50 mg,Clonaz. 3mg,Escital.15mg,Propran.20mg,Bupropr.150mg,Baclofen30mg,Gabapentin200mg, taken 4 times/day in various comb Link to comment
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