success ☼ NaturalBorn: Effexor cold turkey 300 mg

[tntd]

 

Hi NB,

 

I'm glad I can be of some help. 

 

I don't know if you do much reading but you might want to read Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker. He talks about all different types of meds and their long term effects. It may give you some of the answers you are looking for. 

 

I know there are other books out there that I have seen recommended by memebers of SA but so far this is the only one that I have read, other than the withdrawal section of Medication Madness by Peter Breggin. Other than that it is pretty much the success stories from people on boards like this that help us know that we can heal. I've seen stories of complete healing by people from AD's too. Keep in mind that a lot of people don't come back and write their success stories, they are back out enjoying life because they are fully healed. There are also others that never find their way here or never actually join but follow the forum. 

 

You will heal, it will take time, and it will not be fun, but you will heal. We are all struggling through this together and I imagine all of wish that we were doing something else. I know I do!!

 

I know it's hard to stay hopeful when you feel so horrible. I go there too sometimes. I think we all do. The trick is to not let your mind stay there. Find another thing for your mind to do. We can only focus on one thing at a time. Find something you enjoy and immerse yourself in it. 

 

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing energy and hugs to you. 

i'm not really into books, speacilly now! haha, i'm at that point of despair all day long, now i'm even moreworried because i let doctors put me on antipsychotics... the result can't be good, i think being pollydruged makes it all worse, back in the day i should have just used a benzo like 2 times a week or something instead of going into new meds, because now i'm worried about seroquel and trazadone withdrawal, and i'm not stabilized at all!

 

i'm living a horror movie 24/7, i don't know how could i let them put in a new category of meds if i was suffering that much and i knew it was because of effexor, but we can't turn back time.... how i wish we could. the results can't be good because i heard that the more drugs you use the hardest is going to be the recovery, wish i had just one thing to worry about.

 

sorry i can't write a good reply right now, i'm just being drived mad from terror

 

I think Petunia called them terror days. She had them for quite awhile. I get them too. Days in a row with no relief. The only thing I can do on those days is distract and as you have probably noticed even distraction doesn't help 100%. I wish I could help you more. Just to let you know, I was on multiple drugs as well. The recovery is different for everyone. For some it is hard for others it isn't. I wish I knew why. 

 

My heart goes out to you, I truly understand as I'm having a pretty bad day today as well. We can get through this together.

 

Hugs

[NaturalBorn]

 

 

Hi NB,

 

I'm glad I can be of some help. 

 

I don't know if you do much reading but you might want to read Anatomy of an Epidemic by Robert Whitaker. He talks about all different types of meds and their long term effects. It may give you some of the answers you are looking for. 

 

I know there are other books out there that I have seen recommended by memebers of SA but so far this is the only one that I have read, other than the withdrawal section of Medication Madness by Peter Breggin. Other than that it is pretty much the success stories from people on boards like this that help us know that we can heal. I've seen stories of complete healing by people from AD's too. Keep in mind that a lot of people don't come back and write their success stories, they are back out enjoying life because they are fully healed. There are also others that never find their way here or never actually join but follow the forum. 

 

You will heal, it will take time, and it will not be fun, but you will heal. We are all struggling through this together and I imagine all of wish that we were doing something else. I know I do!!

 

I know it's hard to stay hopeful when you feel so horrible. I go there too sometimes. I think we all do. The trick is to not let your mind stay there. Find another thing for your mind to do. We can only focus on one thing at a time. Find something you enjoy and immerse yourself in it. 

 

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing energy and hugs to you. 

i'm not really into books, speacilly now! haha, i'm at that point of despair all day long, now i'm even moreworried because i let doctors put me on antipsychotics... the result can't be good, i think being pollydruged makes it all worse, back in the day i should have just used a benzo like 2 times a week or something instead of going into new meds, because now i'm worried about seroquel and trazadone withdrawal, and i'm not stabilized at all!

 

i'm living a horror movie 24/7, i don't know how could i let them put in a new category of meds if i was suffering that much and i knew it was because of effexor, but we can't turn back time.... how i wish we could. the results can't be good because i heard that the more drugs you use the hardest is going to be the recovery, wish i had just one thing to worry about.

 

sorry i can't write a good reply right now, i'm just being drived mad from terror

 

I think Petunia called them terror days. She had them for quite awhile. I get them too. Days in a row with no relief. The only thing I can do on those days is distract and as you have probably noticed even distraction doesn't help 100%. I wish I could help you more. Just to let you know, I was on multiple drugs as well. The recovery is different for everyone. For some it is hard for others it isn't. I wish I knew why. 

 

My heart goes out to you, I truly understand as I'm having a pretty bad day today as well. We can get through this together.

 

Hugs

 

yeah, on one hand i think this is kind of "normal" because from what i heard, effexor is probably the hardest ad to qui, and i went cold turkey from the highest dosage, so i think it is ok that i'm feeling sh*tty...

and looking back one of the symptoms that went away for good was the derealization, i remember having it quite severily, and then it went away and i never had this again...

so i guess this is "healing". what freaks me out is that on the 4th month i got the worst kind of wave possible, i thought i was dying. so this showed me that healing is not linear at all... i wish i could see small improvements day by day. but that's not how it is.

anyway i plan on beeing on this site for a long time and post everything about this hellish journey...

for some reason i can't get the activation code on benzo buddies, i tried it on 3 different emails and nothing. so i'm gonna have to stick to this one for now haha

wish you the best, some day we are going to be success stories, and really hope that i can get to the "pre med" me again, that would be AMAZING. i can't face the idea of never being the same again....

[NaturalBorn]

Generalizations can be made about recovery time, but they would be based only on anecdotal data and therefore of little practical use. Very few, if any, studies have been done to understand potential causative factors and to quantify the relationship between those factors and recovery time.

but what is your personal opinion on this? i was on effexor originnally for 8 months, then after 4 months reinstated and took it for more 5 months

[tntd]

I hate that the healing isn't linear too. That would be so much easier to deal with. I have also heard that effexor is one of the hardest AD's to get off of which I think means you are doing an awesome job hanging in there even though you're feeling sh*tty. I'm glad to hear that you have seen some improvement in at least one of your symptoms. That must give you some hope. 

 

I got a really bad wave around my third month. It was awful as I had been having windows. Add to that I reached tolerance on my benzo and started having issues with that and it really complicated things so I understand how frustrating all of this can be. 

 

I know you have been worried about not healing, I don't know if you still are. It is a common withdrawal symptom. Here is another quote from Wellness that I found helpful:

 

"We all have the fear that we won't get better, that it is permanent.  All you have to do is read the success stories from people who have come before you, hundreds of people with the same story, and everyone gets better.  I never thought I would get better, I thought I was doomed and would never recover, but it's happening.

 

Of course we obsess while in withdrawal.  Everyone has their pet peeve, but it's all the same, some have sleep anxiety, others agoraphobia, others paranoia, and yet others have hypochondiasis.  The object of the obsession changes, but everyone seem to obsess over their worst fear.

 

Unfortunately there is no easy way out, there is a saying that "the only way out is through"."

 

I agree, we will be success stories. Wishing you the best as well.

 

Hugs and continued healing

[NaturalBorn]

stuff is starting to get real once again, i was sleeping ok during that time, now my first day on 25mgs of seroquel, i only slept 4 hours and missed work again...

[scallywag]

Did you reduce to 25 mg from 50 mg of Seroquel?

[NaturalBorn]

Did you reduce to 25 mg from 50 mg of Seroquel?

no, i stayed 8 days on 37,5

[NaturalBorn]

and i'm planing on staying on 25 for a month, it's just that cutting the pill in a half was not accurate enough, so i prefered to go on with the 25

[scallywag]

You may need to stay at 25 mg for longer than a month. Please give your CNS (central nervous system) time to recover from the 50% decrease in Seroquel.

[AliG]

NB. I was reading this the other day and thought of you. I find it inspiring.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3237-recovery-stories-from-beyondmedscom/

 

Ali

[NaturalBorn]

NB. I was reading this the other day and thought of you. I find it inspiring.

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3237-recovery-stories-from-beyondmedscom/

 

Ali

thanks a lot! i actually have alreasy read those haha

are you familiar with someone recovering 100% total symptom free, without any residuals after a cold turkey? i just can't find one, i am reading intro topics all day with the

☼

on it but everybody is just talking about residuals

i don't mean to be annoying or anything but i just want to know it's possible to get your PRE MED self back

again thanks!

[NaturalBorn]

is it true that on antipsychotics withdrawal psychosis is a risk? i know that after my taper i will be several periods of time without any sleep, should i worry about psychosis? since sleep deprivation can also tear some shades of psychosis

[sarabb]

Hi Naturalborn. Make sure to not taper too quickly, then you will not have sevaral periods without any sleep. Again, only 10% of the dosage unless you want to get in serious trouble. And yes, you can get hallucinations and psychosis by tapering off too quickly. You can read Monica Cassanis blog, she got it. But only from tapering of too quickly.

Best wishes Sara

[Bruin]

Hi Natural Born.......Like you I essentially came of Effexor Cold Turkey but after 15 years of use and also I am 60.

I have also had other drugs to contend with and taper.

I can say it has got better from the hell which hit me 3 months off Effexor. 

The thing about WD is that it can tell you that it is permanent and it will never go.

However we all do heal even if we cannot predict when. It  takes patience and stamina.

I feel very hopeful for you because you are so young and your exposure has not been that long.

I am sure you will get through this and emerge stronger and wiser ....it is impossible to know when but it will happen.

 

I also am a guitar player and did not pick up my instrument for about a year but now am messing around again.

Not learning anything new but at least am playing.

 

Hang in there and stay connected to this site...there is so much good will and good information here.

 

All The Best 

 

Bruin

[tntd]

Hi NB,

 

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. I hope that you are doing ok after your last cut.

 

Hugs

[NaturalBorn]

thans for the support you guys i really love it. what bothers me most is the cognitive difficulties, it's been really hard to work and do anything that requires thinking. i have all the symptoms possible in antidepressants withdrawal, and reading from people that are still in hell 7 years later just freaks me out so much, i don't know if i can live like that. my mom keeps giving me lyrica, but i just throw them away. i have to pretend i'm doing ok so that the doctor keeps allowing me do my taper, and eventually he will just try to put me on something else, he mentioned linthium on the last apointment, my mom insists on going with me to the doctor, wich makes things a lot harder, because they all still think it's all about depression and anxiety ha I WISH

 

there is no way i'm getting into another pill. already damaged my body to much for that....

[NaturalBorn]

Hi NB,

 

Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking of you. I hope that you are doing ok after your last cut.

 

Hugs

i'm doing pretty much as usual... trying my best to believe i will be 100% someday, even tho the sucess stories on this site are not helping. i don't mean it in a bad way, but everybody talks about residuals and most of them tappered... when i'm on the internet looking for venlafaxine cold turkey stories everybody is talking about permanent this and permanent that.... this is freaking me out

i know i should not be putting this kind of "irrational" fear on me, and it's pretty much uselles to be comparing yourself to the others, but i gotta believe i will recover from this  or else i see no use in this.

litterally every single story that i look on the web about people going cold turkey from effexor mentions "10 years later still not the same" this is to scary for me

[NaturalBorn]

anyway thanks for your support tntd, hope you are doing better from this hellish expirience as well

[tntd]

Hi NB,

 

I was wondering, do you find that your withdrawal symptoms get any worse after reading these scary long term stories? I was just wondering because I know when I read stories that I find activating or scary my anxiety ramps up and so does my cog fog. I have stopped reading them for the most part though I do understand the drive to find someone with a success story. It is possible that those people just don't post because they don't realize how much their success stories would help others. They are just out enjoying life and not looking back. That's why we have to make sure to put our success stories up once we get there.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems with your pdoc and your mom. It must be terribly frustrating. Is there any way to find a different pdoc that is more understanding of the withdrawal process? 

 

As for me I'm starting on my benzo taper tomorrow. I'm at tolerance with it so I don't have a lot of choice. I'm just hoping it doesn't add to my CT buproprion withdrawal sxs, if I'm even still having any. The benzo tolerance and AD withdrawal overlap so their is no way to know what is from what :\ I have to say I'm pretty scared to start the taper. Don't really have a choice so as others have said, "the only way out is through".

 

Hugs

[NaturalBorn]

Hi NB,

 

I was wondering, do you find that your withdrawal symptoms get any worse after reading these scary long term stories? I was just wondering because I know when I read stories that I find activating or scary my anxiety ramps up and so does my cog fog. I have stopped reading them for the most part though I do understand the drive to find someone with a success story. It is possible that those people just don't post because they don't realize how much their success stories would help others. They are just out enjoying life and not looking back. That's why we have to make sure to put our success stories up once we get there.

 

I'm sorry to hear that you are having problems with your pdoc and your mom. It must be terribly frustrating. Is there any way to find a different pdoc that is more understanding of the withdrawal process? 

 

As for me I'm starting on my benzo taper tomorrow. I'm at tolerance with it so I don't have a lot of choice. I'm just hoping it doesn't add to my CT buproprion withdrawal sxs, if I'm even still having any. The benzo tolerance and AD withdrawal overlap so their is no way to know what is from what :\ I have to say I'm pretty scared to start the taper. Don't really have a choice so as others have said, "the only way out is through".

 

Hugs

i don't know, i wake up feeling pretty bad already, and i don't feel like doing anything but reading about this kind of thinkg, it's litterally on my mind 24/7 every second of the day i'm obssessing about my expirience, and i got to say the only thing that brings me some sort of relief is reading about this, at least in my head.

i don't know about getting another doctor help because then my mom will pretty much think i'm going crazy and "resisting to treatment" she buy all this crap from doctors. plus here in brazil people are way more ignorant about stuff, in general. i have talked to probably almost 10 psychiatrists since this hell began in my life, not a single one has A CLUE about this. they may even know about benzos being hard to kick, but they all stick to that 2/4 weeks of withdrawal theory.

it's just ridiculous how wrong all of this is, i bet that in the future we are gonna look at our psych "treatments" just as we look to lobotomies now.

it's pretty much similar.

anyway i don't have much to say my brain feels like it's working on 20% of his capacity. thanks for your support and wish you healing from this hell

hugs!!!!!!!!!

[tntd]

Hi NB,

 

Sorry to hear that you are still feeling so awful. I tend to wake up feeling bad also. For me it decreases throughout the day. I have been trying a supplement that is supposed to help with anxiety and agoraphobia and I think it is starting to give me a little help. It's hard to know though as day to day the symptoms wax and wane. 

 

Do you get any relief in the evenings?

 

The doctors here aren't much better. The first one I had that decided I needed to go off my benzo wanted me to half my dose. I convinced her to let me quarter it and when I went into withdrawal she wouldn't believe me. I think there is one doctor in the group I go to that knows anything about benzo withdrawal but still has a hard time believing in antidepressant withdrawal. I'm fortunate that dispite his being unsure he is listening to me and he is letting me do a super slow taper with the benzo. I showed him a titration spreadsheet and he was really impressed, I think that is why he is working with me. He was pretty dubious before I showed the spreadsheet to him. The group I am in has tons of psychiatrists and psychologists most of whom don't really understand what we are going through or they just plain don't believe it. The two psychologists running my DBT group don't know anything about withdrawal and so they try to push me to do things that there is no way my CNS could handle.

 

I did find this quote on facebook today and I really liked it. (It's on a benzo page)

 

"I don't know who said it, but I love it:

STOP LISTENING TO YOURSELF AND START TALKING TO YOURSELF

You may need to read that a few times like I did. There is a huge difference between listening and talking.

In the midst of dealing with withdrawal and recovery, we tend to listen more to negative messages that our minds conjure up. I don't need to give you examples--you already know what those messages are.

In her book, Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer wrote something I'll never forget. She said that you don't have to believe every stupid, ridiculous thought that falls into your head. You get to choose.

If all you do is listen to the negative messages you are telling yourself about how this feels, how it's affecting your life, how you don't know how you will get through, etc., etc., etc., you are likely listening to 99% of things that aren't true. What a waste of time!

Instead, go on the offensive. Start talking to yourself. Start with the truth about who you are--a mighty warrior. Start with the truth about the fact that you've had the strength to survive what most people around you couldn't begin to fathom. Start with the truth that healing is happening, is absolutely possible and that you don't need to be any different than the tens of thousands of others who have gotten to the other side.

But also start talking to yourself about things you enjoy--even if it's hard to think at all. Help rewire your brain by remembering joyful times and create plans in your mind for what you're going to do when you feel better--even later today maybe! Talk to yourself about things that you have to be grateful for (there's millions of them--just look around you).

When you find yourself just "listening" to garbage that your mind is telling you, turn it around immediately. Your brain was made to respond differently to positive versus negative thoughts--even if you don't believe the positive thoughts.

This isn't pie-in-the-sky distraction! This is actively helping your brain heal and is backed by much scientific research (see Dr. Caroline Leaf's book Who Switched Off My Brain? if you want proof 

Do your best today. It's all anyone in the world can do!"

 

I thought it was a good idea and something I am going to try so I thought I'd share it with you.

 

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing thoughts and hugs to you. Wish I could do more. 

 

[NaturalBorn]

I need some moderator help in this question, i'm reading that trazadone has some effects on the gaba receptors as well as benzos, do you guys think they can be similar in terms.of withdrawal? During that traumatic reduction from 150 to 50 e remember having regular panic attacks and awful hand sweating, both of this symptoms i didn't expirienced during my firat venlafaxine cold turkey (i did had some panic attacks but those were really rare) can trazadone be similar to benzo in withdrawal?

[NaturalBorn]

 

Hi NB,

 

Sorry to hear that you are still feeling so awful. I tend to wake up feeling bad also. For me it decreases throughout the day. I have been trying a supplement that is supposed to help with anxiety and agoraphobia and I think it is starting to give me a little help. It's hard to know though as day to day the symptoms wax and wane.

 

Do you get any relief in the evenings?

 

The doctors here aren't much better. The first one I had that decided I needed to go off my benzo wanted me to half my dose. I convinced her to let me quarter it and when I went into withdrawal she wouldn't believe me. I think there is one doctor in the group I go to that knows anything about benzo withdrawal but still has a hard time believing in antidepressant withdrawal. I'm fortunate that dispite his being unsure he is listening to me and he is letting me do a super slow taper with the benzo. I showed him a titration spreadsheet and he was really impressed, I think that is why he is working with me. He was pretty dubious before I showed the spreadsheet to him. The group I am in has tons of psychiatrists and psychologists most of whom don't really understand what we are going through or they just plain don't believe it. The two psychologists running my DBT group don't know anything about withdrawal and so they try to push me to do things that there is no way my CNS could handle.

 

I did find this quote on facebook today and I really liked it. (It's on a benzo page)

 

"I don't know who said it, but I love it:

STOP LISTENING TO YOURSELF AND START TALKING TO YOURSELF

You may need to read that a few times like I did. There is a huge difference between listening and talking.

 

In the midst of dealing with withdrawal and recovery, we tend to listen more to negative messages that our minds conjure up. I don't need to give you examples--you already know what those messages are.

In her book, Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer wrote something I'll never forget. She said that you don't have to believe every stupid, ridiculous thought that falls into your head. You get to choose.

If all you do is listen to the negative messages you are telling yourself about how this feels, how it's affecting your life, how you don't know how you will get through, etc., etc., etc., you are likely listening to 99% of things that aren't true. What a waste of time!

Instead, go on the offensive. Start talking to yourself. Start with the truth about who you are--a mighty warrior. Start with the truth about the fact that you've had the strength to survive what most people around you couldn't begin to fathom. Start with the truth that healing is happening, is absolutely possible and that you don't need to be any different than the tens of thousands of others who have gotten to the other side.

But also start talking to yourself about things you enjoy--even if it's hard to think at all. Help rewire your brain by remembering joyful times and create plans in your mind for what you're going to do when you feel better--even later today maybe! Talk to yourself about things that you have to be grateful for (there's millions of them--just look around you).

When you find yourself just "listening" to garbage that your mind is telling you, turn it around immediately. Your brain was made to respond differently to positive versus negative thoughts--even if you don't believe the positive thoughts.

This isn't pie-in-the-sky distraction! This is actively helping your brain heal and is backed by much scientific research (see Dr. Caroline Leaf's book Who Switched Off My Brain? if you want proof

Do your best today. It's all anyone in the world can do!"

 

I thought it was a good idea and something I am going to try so I thought I'd share it with you.

 

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing thoughts and hugs to you. Wish I could do more.

i dom't really feel better on the evenings, except when i take my meds around 10pm

 

Then i feel a little bit more relaxed and maybe even calmer.

there is just so much in my head telling me i wont recover that it's just hard to have faith

 

I went cold turkey from the highest dosage, mixed alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, RIDICULOUS amounts of benzos, opiates, muscle relaxants throught out my withdrawal, went on amtipaychotics, and pretty much had all of the most severe symptoms.

There were days wich i would mix 2 different benzos (in really high dosages, like 8 pills) with morphine and alcohol.

I seriously abised my body.

 

Now most of my symptoms are being masked by trazadone amd seroquel, i cant even imagine how i'm gonna feel when i taper those.

if right now my symptoma are beyond debilitating.

i know i'm sounding dramatic but i really don't see a good outcome from this.

I didn't even knew how to take care of mtself before this hell imagine now

[fuerza]

 

Hi NB,

 

Sorry to hear that you are still feeling so awful. I tend to wake up feeling bad also. For me it decreases throughout the day. I have been trying a supplement that is supposed to help with anxiety and agoraphobia and I think it is starting to give me a little help. It's hard to know though as day to day the symptoms wax and wane.

 

Do you get any relief in the evenings?

 

The doctors here aren't much better. The first one I had that decided I needed to go off my benzo wanted me to half my dose. I convinced her to let me quarter it and when I went into withdrawal she wouldn't believe me. I think there is one doctor in the group I go to that knows anything about benzo withdrawal but still has a hard time believing in antidepressant withdrawal. I'm fortunate that dispite his being unsure he is listening to me and he is letting me do a super slow taper with the benzo. I showed him a titration spreadsheet and he was really impressed, I think that is why he is working with me. He was pretty dubious before I showed the spreadsheet to him. The group I am in has tons of psychiatrists and psychologists most of whom don't really understand what we are going through or they just plain don't believe it. The two psychologists running my DBT group don't know anything about withdrawal and so they try to push me to do things that there is no way my CNS could handle.

 

I did find this quote on facebook today and I really liked it. (It's on a benzo page)

 

"I don't know who said it, but I love it:

STOP LISTENING TO YOURSELF AND START TALKING TO YOURSELF

You may need to read that a few times like I did. There is a huge difference between listening and talking.

 

In the midst of dealing with withdrawal and recovery, we tend to listen more to negative messages that our minds conjure up. I don't need to give you examples--you already know what those messages are.

In her book, Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer wrote something I'll never forget. She said that you don't have to believe every stupid, ridiculous thought that falls into your head. You get to choose.

If all you do is listen to the negative messages you are telling yourself about how this feels, how it's affecting your life, how you don't know how you will get through, etc., etc., etc., you are likely listening to 99% of things that aren't true. What a waste of time!

Instead, go on the offensive. Start talking to yourself. Start with the truth about who you are--a mighty warrior. Start with the truth about the fact that you've had the strength to survive what most people around you couldn't begin to fathom. Start with the truth that healing is happening, is absolutely possible and that you don't need to be any different than the tens of thousands of others who have gotten to the other side.

But also start talking to yourself about things you enjoy--even if it's hard to think at all. Help rewire your brain by remembering joyful times and create plans in your mind for what you're going to do when you feel better--even later today maybe! Talk to yourself about things that you have to be grateful for (there's millions of them--just look around you).

When you find yourself just "listening" to garbage that your mind is telling you, turn it around immediately. Your brain was made to respond differently to positive versus negative thoughts--even if you don't believe the positive thoughts.

This isn't pie-in-the-sky distraction! This is actively helping your brain heal and is backed by much scientific research (see Dr. Caroline Leaf's book Who Switched Off My Brain? if you want proof

Do your best today. It's all anyone in the world can do!"

 

I thought it was a good idea and something I am going to try so I thought I'd share it with you.

 

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing thoughts and hugs to you. Wish I could do more.

i dom't really feel better on the evenings, except when i take my meds around 10pm

 

Then i feel a little bit more relaxed and maybe even calmer.

there is just so much in my head telling me i wont recover that it's just hard to have faith

 

I went cold turkey from the highest dosage, mixed alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, RIDICULOUS amounts of benzos, opiates, muscle relaxants throught out my withdrawal, went on amtipaychotics, and pretty much had all of the most severe symptoms.

There were days wich i would mix 2 different benzos (in really high dosages, like 8 pills) with morphine and alcohol.

I seriously abised my body.

 

Now most of my symptoms are being masked by trazadone amd seroquel, i cant even imagine how i'm gonna feel when i taper those.

if right now my symptoma are beyond debilitating.

i know i'm sounding dramatic but i really don't see a good outcome from this.

I didn't even knew how to take care of mtself before this hell imagine now

 

 

Hey NB! So sorry to hear that you're suffering. Just remember that this is normal for now. I know it's hell, but it's completely expected. You mentioned earlier that the constant derealizatsion stopped at some point. I think this is an amazing improvement. You might not notice it, but you are slowly getting better. Don't get fixated on the drugs (legal and illegal) you've taken. I know people who have been on antidepressants and have abused alcohol and stronger drugs (all at the same time) and they're completely fine right now. The reaction you are feeling right now may be from just one drug or one withdrawal.

 

Also, have you considered tapering more slowly? I know it's easy to feel trapped if you're still taking this poison. I certainly feel trapped. But going completely drug free in a short period of time is not worth it symptom-wise. This is coming from experience, because I thought I could do a rapid taper from Valdoxan which is said to be an AD without any side effects or withdrawal symptoms (ha-ha). I felt my health deteriorating when I cut my dose in half. I now plan to let my body stabilise and do a very slow taper.

 

I still follow your thread daily and I'm rooting for you so much. You don't have to take care of yourself like you did before. You're so strong for dealing with this every day, you have to tell yourself that. I mean, if I compare the most stressful periods in my life to what I'm going through now, they seem like a walk in a park. It may not be apparent to others, but you're giving all you've got every single day. Maybe it helps you if you think about your situation as if it was happening to a dear friend of yours. What would you say to him? Wouldn't you think he's an incredibly strong person for having lived through all this?

 

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way!

[scallywag]

Withdrawal from a drug that has psycho-neuro effects could result in a symptom of anxiety, fear, panic, whether the medication is trazodone, a benzo, an SSRI.

[NaturalBorn]

 

 

Hi NB,

 

Sorry to hear that you are still feeling so awful. I tend to wake up feeling bad also. For me it decreases throughout the day. I have been trying a supplement that is supposed to help with anxiety and agoraphobia and I think it is starting to give me a little help. It's hard to know though as day to day the symptoms wax and wane.

 

Do you get any relief in the evenings?

 

The doctors here aren't much better. The first one I had that decided I needed to go off my benzo wanted me to half my dose. I convinced her to let me quarter it and when I went into withdrawal she wouldn't believe me. I think there is one doctor in the group I go to that knows anything about benzo withdrawal but still has a hard time believing in antidepressant withdrawal. I'm fortunate that dispite his being unsure he is listening to me and he is letting me do a super slow taper with the benzo. I showed him a titration spreadsheet and he was really impressed, I think that is why he is working with me. He was pretty dubious before I showed the spreadsheet to him. The group I am in has tons of psychiatrists and psychologists most of whom don't really understand what we are going through or they just plain don't believe it. The two psychologists running my DBT group don't know anything about withdrawal and so they try to push me to do things that there is no way my CNS could handle.

 

I did find this quote on facebook today and I really liked it. (It's on a benzo page)

 

"I don't know who said it, but I love it:

STOP LISTENING TO YOURSELF AND START TALKING TO YOURSELF

You may need to read that a few times like I did. There is a huge difference between listening and talking.

 

In the midst of dealing with withdrawal and recovery, we tend to listen more to negative messages that our minds conjure up. I don't need to give you examples--you already know what those messages are.

In her book, Battlefield of the Mind, Joyce Meyer wrote something I'll never forget. She said that you don't have to believe every stupid, ridiculous thought that falls into your head. You get to choose.

If all you do is listen to the negative messages you are telling yourself about how this feels, how it's affecting your life, how you don't know how you will get through, etc., etc., etc., you are likely listening to 99% of things that aren't true. What a waste of time!

Instead, go on the offensive. Start talking to yourself. Start with the truth about who you are--a mighty warrior. Start with the truth about the fact that you've had the strength to survive what most people around you couldn't begin to fathom. Start with the truth that healing is happening, is absolutely possible and that you don't need to be any different than the tens of thousands of others who have gotten to the other side.

But also start talking to yourself about things you enjoy--even if it's hard to think at all. Help rewire your brain by remembering joyful times and create plans in your mind for what you're going to do when you feel better--even later today maybe! Talk to yourself about things that you have to be grateful for (there's millions of them--just look around you).

When you find yourself just "listening" to garbage that your mind is telling you, turn it around immediately. Your brain was made to respond differently to positive versus negative thoughts--even if you don't believe the positive thoughts.

This isn't pie-in-the-sky distraction! This is actively helping your brain heal and is backed by much scientific research (see Dr. Caroline Leaf's book Who Switched Off My Brain? if you want proof

Do your best today. It's all anyone in the world can do!"

 

I thought it was a good idea and something I am going to try so I thought I'd share it with you.

 

I'm keeping you in my thoughts and sending healing thoughts and hugs to you. Wish I could do more.

i dom't really feel better on the evenings, except when i take my meds around 10pm

 

Then i feel a little bit more relaxed and maybe even calmer.

there is just so much in my head telling me i wont recover that it's just hard to have faith

 

I went cold turkey from the highest dosage, mixed alcohol, marijuana, cocaine, RIDICULOUS amounts of benzos, opiates, muscle relaxants throught out my withdrawal, went on amtipaychotics, and pretty much had all of the most severe symptoms.

There were days wich i would mix 2 different benzos (in really high dosages, like 8 pills) with morphine and alcohol.

I seriously abised my body.

 

Now most of my symptoms are being masked by trazadone amd seroquel, i cant even imagine how i'm gonna feel when i taper those.

if right now my symptoma are beyond debilitating.

i know i'm sounding dramatic but i really don't see a good outcome from this.

I didn't even knew how to take care of mtself before this hell imagine now

 

 

Hey NB! So sorry to hear that you're suffering. Just remember that this is normal for now. I know it's hell, but it's completely expected. You mentioned earlier that the constant derealizatsion stopped at some point. I think this is an amazing improvement. You might not notice it, but you are slowly getting better. Don't get fixated on the drugs (legal and illegal) you've taken. I know people who have been on antidepressants and have abused alcohol and stronger drugs (all at the same time) and they're completely fine right now. The reaction you are feeling right now may be from just one drug or one withdrawal.

 

Also, have you considered tapering more slowly? I know it's easy to feel trapped if you're still taking this poison. I certainly feel trapped. But going completely drug free in a short period of time is not worth it symptom-wise. This is coming from experience, because I thought I could do a rapid taper from Valdoxan which is said to be an AD without any side effects or withdrawal symptoms (ha-ha). I felt my health deteriorating when I cut my dose in half. I now plan to let my body stabilise and do a very slow taper.

 

I still follow your thread daily and I'm rooting for you so much. You don't have to take care of yourself like you did before. You're so strong for dealing with this every day, you have to tell yourself that. I mean, if I compare the most stressful periods in my life to what I'm going through now, they seem like a walk in a park. It may not be apparent to others, but you're giving all you've got every single day. Maybe it helps you if you think about your situation as if it was happening to a dear friend of yours. What would you say to him? Wouldn't you think he's an incredibly strong person for having lived through all this?

 

Sending hugs and good thoughts your way!

 

yes i think i'm gonna stay on 25mgs of seroquel for longer then a month, then half of it for another month, and trazadone i'm thinking about staying on a long time, i was expecting to just get free from drugs at the beginning of 2017, but that's just nonsense, thanks a lot for encouraging me.

so healing is gonna have to wait for a while

i'm also gonna stay a long time away from any alcohol and other drugs, for at least 3 years. then i will try some marijuana and see if it causes me a setback or what.

i'm also thinking about buying some melatonin, i have tried a bunch of supplements, and all they did was mess my stomach, but i haven't tried this one yet, and i could really use some sleep aids.

[NaturalBorn]

Withdrawal from a drug that has psycho-neuro effects could result in a symptom of anxiety, fear, panic, whether the medication is trazodone, a benzo, an SSRI.

but is trazadone similar to benzo in acting on your brain?

[sarabb]

Hi Natural born

Have you tried yoga recently? I thought it could give you some peace i the middle of the hell you are in now. You can start with just a few poses. You can find it on the internet and youtube.

I wish you the best.

Sara

[sarabb]

And I know its very individual what helps so you can try it and see if it helps you but fresh organic fruits has helped my body from overtoxificating. And my body is sometimes now and was many years ago in a state where nothing helped, not yoga, not cleansing cures, nothing. Is it the same with you or is there something that gives you a kind of release? Also classical music has helped my brain, it feels like it creates some kind of order in my head. You can search on spotify or youtube on relaxing classical piano music. Arthur Davidson is good and Frederick Chopin. I really hope you will try some of this because if I can save just one from suffering as much as I have done and still do sometimes it will give me peace.

Greetings Sara

[NaturalBorn]

thanks sara, i did tried it a couple of weeks ago, but didn't felt any difference, yesterday i didn't slept at all, i took 12,5 of ambien, 25 seroquel and 150 trazadone, and nothing.... this is just to scary

[sarabb]

I do not really have an overview of how much you used to take, but I know, as the moderators say that you should taper one at a time. And do you use the 10% rule? You really need to follow that down to the details and dont skip anything. I think tonight you should try everything I have written, if it dosnt give you peace or work, try the next The most important thing is just to not panic and dont beat yourself in the head if it do not help. And I can mention healers, clairvoyants, meditaion. Everything is worth trying if you wanna get whole out of this hell. Im so sorry for you buddy that you have to be in this hell. I myself have tried it for 5 days once. No human beings can live without sleep.

Sorry if you dont undertstand what I say, english is not my first language.

Oh, and by the way, if you get the surplus to it you can go to the kitchen and cook. I sometimes do that. Its a good distraction if youre in pain and it gives you something else to think about. You dont have to be the next noma cook, but just make something simple. Maybe vegetables in the owen. You need to give your body the best foundation to heal and recover. And I believe tasting good food plays a role in healing.

Now i have pretty much said everything I do myself to recover.

Dont ever give up. Keep ya head up.

Sara

Write to me again tomorrow if you have slept tonight...

[dowdaller]

Hold fast man, you got to be patient I know you want to get off all the crap. But it makes it harder in the long run. You are doing great. As times goes on.you will get more windows. I got a few days last week were i felt great. Just keep going mindfulness helps me through the real nightmare days. If i can do it, you can too.

[tntd]

I know how much you struggle NB so I thought you might like this quote that I found on a Facebook Benzo site:

 

Hoping & Coping in Benzodiazepine Withdrawal &Recovery

June 12 · 

One more thing to share today. Such a powerful dialogue between Frodo and Sam in The Return of the King from Lord of the Rings trilogy. Really applies to this journey we are on:

FRODO: I can’t do this, Sam. 
SAM: I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy. How could the world go back to the way it was when so much bad had happened. 
But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something. Even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back only they didn’t. Because they were holding on to something. 
FRODO: What are we holding on to, Sam? 
SAM: That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for."

 

I hope you are finding some peace today,

Hugs 

 

[sarabb]

Have you slept recently? Im writing to you because Im getting worried because you havent answered me back. I would be glad to hear anything from you , that you are alive and still fighting. Really bad things can happen when people do not getting enough sleep

[sarabb]

*get

[NaturalBorn]

Have you slept recently? Im writing to you because Im getting worried because you havent answered me back. I would be glad to hear anything from you , that you are alive and still fighting. Really bad things can happen when people do not getting enough sleep

sorry sara, i haven't slept at all in 2 days, and only got 2 hours of sleep the night before this, and a new symptom is showing up, i'm getting super dizzy walking in my own house, like really freaking dizzy to the point i have to sit and breathe in the middle of my way to the kitchen

i haven't reduced any dosage any further, neither taken anything new, i'm just freaking out here, i had to quit my job again (of course my family doesn't understand)

and now i'm just housebound again... i'm considering rehab for some reason