Erell: struggling with paroxetine

[Erell]

Yes, definitely "more is not better".

 

Took only 7mg Fluoxetine this morning : will now stay there. 

 

The mental and physical restlessness is so intense. 

 

My job now is to wait for activation to fade with the decreased dose and to hang in there.

Edited August 20, 2020 by Erell

[Frogie]

@Erell

 

I hope you see some signs of improvement with the decrease.

 

Take care,

 Frogie xx

[Longroadhome]

@Erell

thinking of you and 

thought you might like  this extract from Baylissa Frederick book 

At the core of our being is our essence . This has remained unchanged and unharmed from the drug and will once again become evident. It is who we really are and to over identify with our symptoms means we could end up forgetting our true selves. It is good for those of us going through WD to spend time reminding ourselves of our core qualities, the ones that may not always be apparent during WD but which we know are still there, and always will be. 
always know that no matter what you are going through , at your deepest level the essence of who you are still exists. Irrespective of the drugs effects that have resulted in temporary challenges, you remain that special person who entered this world as a beautiful healthy baby . 
even if recovery is seeming to take a long time, always remember that your situation is temporary. 
 

[Erell]

@Longroadhome : thank you for this ❤

Yes, the 'real' me is still here, I AM, everytime I breathe I AM.

 

@Frogie : thank you dear, I hope too 🤞

 

--》 Maybe some of you will have ideas to help me :

 

I find that all my usual selfcare tips are irrelevant while feeling like I have drank 1000 coffees : yet, I still think that mindfullness is important and better than diving into catastrophising thoughts.

But while dealing with huge mental and physical restlessness, I don't know how to practice acceptance anymore.

Distractions seems also nearly impossible as I need to move/change activities every minute.

Maybe some of you have some tips that I could discover ? 

 

@Shep : you often said that DR was kind of a spiritual teacher for you. 

I would like to learn to see my huge restlessness as a teacher too, but I struggle cognitively to see how taking the first step.

I get the sense of AAF, but while mental and physical restlessness are huge how can we "float and go on with our lives"?

How can I try and learn to see my current torture as a teacher ?

I'm also a huge fan of The Observer, but don't manage to practice it currently, because my mind is too confused. 

(Of course, no emergency, just willing to grow and learn from others).

 

I've done some researches on SA to be inspired by people going through akathisia but read horror stories and started to think that I will be stuck in this state for years.

So best for me to avoid for now.

 

Well, I'm gonna try to vent my overstimulation by cutting overgrown weeds 😉

Edited August 20, 2020 by Erell

[Dejavu]

@Erell, I wish there was something I could say or do to give you some relief. I'm glad you've made a reduction now and wait with you in spirit for the relief you deserve, and will get.

 

Hang in there a bit longer. After you clear this hurdle, you will be unstoppable!

[Cigale]

Oh my dear @Erell - I am so sorry you are having to endure this and hope with all my heart that you will get some relief very soon. It is evident in all your posts that you have the courage and strength to get through this. Despite your struggles, your updates are filled with kindness, wisdom and humor (and you are writing in a second language - amazing!).

 

I wish I had some tips for you but much of what I would suggest you have taught me 😉. In fact, I am thinking of one time when you suggested gardening. That day I went outside and attacked some huge vining weeds that had invaded our hedge. But I didn't just cut them, I eliminated them! I focused on them 100 percent and got down to their roots and dug and dug until I removed every last bit of them. I was a dirty mess when I finished, but it helped ground me for a bit.

 

Sending healing hugs - Cigale

[Erell]

23 hours ago, Dejavu said:

@Erell, I wish there was something I could say or do to give you some relief. I'm glad you've made a reduction now and wait with you in spirit for the relief you deserve, and will get.

 

Hang in there a bit longer. After you clear this hurdle, you will be unstoppable!

 

This is a delightful message of support, thank you !

 

@Cigale : sending healing hugs to you too ❤

 

 

Well, things seem to evolve : intense restlessness and tension was slightly better yesterday evening and I managed to sleep 5 hours.

 

This morning : the restlessness is still a bit better physically, but not mentally : it is worse.

I have very strong nauseas/queasyness/feeling sick and weird/brain fog. Can't stay up.

The nauseas worsen when moving, but I also still feel the physical need to move.

My brain wants to shut down and sleep but my body can't. 

My body wants to be active and move but my Brain can't. 

Heart palpitations.

Strong SI and physical need to escape. Kind of mental akathisia. Huge doom feelings are worse than ever. Mind utterly hijacked by doom, helplessness thoughts.

 

@Altostrata : I'm using all the strenght I have left to hang on and not listen to the mental. I never faced such intense doom feelings and mental restlessness. 

This "activation" will probably fade in a few weeks ? 

Is this kindling ? 

I haven't necessarily messed up my switch and could still stabilise on Fluoxetine ?

I am not in acute Paxil WD ? 

I'm asking you to predict the future while you can't. 

I know how ridiculous I sound.

I'm sorry, I didn't know that such a level of difficulties could exist. 

Kind of relieved that you talk about "activation" and not "akathisia ".

 

Utterly amazed by the strenght of all the people who wrote Success stories. Trying to find this strenght in my guts.

 

Trying to not beat myself for having stupidly increased Fluoxetine, even by small amounts.

 

My poor CNS has a lot to digest !

 

I am gonna be ok, right ?

Edited August 21, 2020 by Erell

[Hanna72]

4 hours ago, Erell said:

I am gonna be ok, right ?

Yes dear Erell I am telling you, you will be ok. My switch was also very bumpy, but it subsided within few days. I told myself, I just need to bare with this so my system can repair. 
 

 

4 hours ago, Erell said:

Well, things seem to evolve : intense restlessness and tension was slightly better yesterday evening and I managed to sleep 5 hours !

Always focus on improvements, it really matters, even though it is tiny in our minds, but it IS an indicator that things are moving in the right direction. 
Lets go💪 
Hugs💖

[Erell]

4 hours ago, Hanna72 said:

Always focus on improvements, it really matters, even though it is tiny in our minds, but it IS an indicator that things are moving in the right direction. 

Thank you ! You're right. I hang on to every positive thing that can happen, this is what helps me to go through the day ❤

Your post made me realise that I haven't made a gratitude list in my daily note since several days.

Definitely have to do it again !

Edited August 21, 2020 by Erell

[Vegalia]

Google translation:

 

Dear @Erell

 

Sorry to write in French, hope the admin doesn't mind.

 

Don't look at things about Akathisia you're right. It is surely anxiety-inducing wrongly. I learned something in my bumpy journey: the incredible power of the subconscious.

 

Surround yourself with beautiful images, have fun.

So yes very difficult when meditation or relaxation no longer works as before. Oh ... I know that, very disturbing.

I still continue with cardiac coherence, can you?

 

If you don't have too much physical pain Yes the garden is a good idea.

For me the garden is like life and like WD. I can hardly garden with the pain anymore, but I take pictures instead. I garden every day except if it rained last year in 15-minute sessions.

There are beautiful things: seeds that have been sown and that are growing. Unfortunately, other things have required a lot of investment and are not growing. There are also weeds: very painful and you have to deal with that to take care of your garden. Pulling the weeds can let off steam and we can say to ourselves that at the same time we are removing what bothers us in ourselves. Maybe a strange thought but I believe in the power of the unconscious which is very powerful.

And then ... in the garden there are also sometimes surprises. The wind the birds brought things. So in my garden have grown violets, poppies, buttercups and orchids. And then we can also rejoice and think less about weeds.

Finally, the garden can help to develop mindfulness naturally; easier when you are restless to do an activity in full consciousness rather than mindfulness without support. I did a lot while being on.

 

So like the garden, life and WD also have good surprises.

 

I like this metaphor of the garden.

 

If you have crises, you have to try not to struggle as with panic attacks and accept. Oh yes it's difficult ...

Let the legs move, scream if necessary. It relieves me a bit, is that my experience. My big problem is still not crying though.

Also agree to pacing in your apartment seeing it as a help.

Take a bath too

The relief isn't always there or sometimes just partial, but I try to be grateful.

You can also do some physical activity. Sometimes I wish I could ride a stationary bike or hit a punching bag but my pain makes almost any physical activity impossible.

 

You can do all of this and even better. I think you have more resources and adaptability than me.

These symptoms are recent Erell. Nothing says they will last, absolutely nothing and if it's a previous fluoxetine overdose it will go away pretty quickly.

 

I keep thinking about Brasmonkey and the topic “are we here?” That helps me.

 

Brace yourself my beauty.

 

Lots of love. ❤️

Original post:

 

Chère @Erell

 

Désolée d'ecrire en français, j'espère que ça ne dérange pas les admin. 

 

Ne regarde pas de choses sur l'akathisie tu as raison. C'est anxiogène sûrement à tort. J'ai appris quelque chose dans mon parcours cahoteux : le pouvoir incroyable de l'inconscient. 

 

S'entourer de belles images, se distraire. 

Alors oui très difficile quand la méditation ou la relaxation ne fonctionnent plus comme avant. Oh... Je connais ça, très perturbant. 

Je continue toutefois la cohérence cardiaque, peux-tu? 

 

Si tu n'as pas trop de douleurs physiques Oui le jardin est une bonne idée. 

Pour moi le jardin est comme la vie et comme WD. Je ne peux presque plus jardiner avec les douleurs mais, je prends des photos à la place. J'ai jardiné tous les jours sauf si pluie l'an passé par sessions de 15 mn. 

Il y a de belles choses : des graines qu'on a semées et qui poussent. D'autres choses hélas ont demandé beaucoup d'investissement et ne poussent pas. Il y a aussi les mauvaises herbes : très pénibles et il faut composer avec ça pour s'occuper de son jardin. Arracher les mauvaises herbes peut défouler et on peut se dire qu'on enleve en même temps ce qui nous tracasse en nous. Peut être une étrange pensée mais je crois au pouvoir de l'inconscient qui est très puissant. 

Et puis... dans le jardin il y a aussi parfois des surprises. Le vent les oiseaux ont apporté des choses. Ainsi dans mon jardin ont poussés violettes, coquelicots, boutons d'or et orchidées. Et alors on peut aussi s'en réjouir et moins penser aux mauvaises herbes. 

Enfin le jardin peut aider pour faire de la pleine conscience naturellement ; plus facile quand on est agité de faire une activité en pleine conscience plutôt que pleine conscience sans support. J'ai fait beaucoup en étant sur activée. 

 

Ainsi comme le jardin, la vie et WD ont aussi de bonnes surprises. 

 

J'aime bien cette métaphore du jardin. 

 

Si tu fais des crises il faut essayer de ne pas lutter comme pour les attaques de panique et accepter. Oh oui que c'est difficile...

Laisser les jambes bouger, crier si nécessaire.  Ça me soulage un peu, c"est que mon expérience.  Mon gros problème est de ne toujours pas pleurer par contre.

Accepter aussi de faire les cents pas dans ton appartement en voyant cela comme une aide. 

Prendre un bain aussi 

Le soulagement n'est pas toujours là ou parfois juste partiel mais j'essaie d'avoir de la gratitude. 

Tu peux aussi faire une activité physique. Parfois j'aimerais pouvoir faire du vélo d'appartement ou taper dans un punching ball mais mes douleurs rendent impossible presque toute activité physique. 

 

Tu peux faire tout cela et même mieux. Je pense que tu as plus de ressources et de facultés d'adaptation que moi.

Ces symptômes sont récents Erell. Rien ne dit qu'ils vont durer, absolument rien et si c'est un surdosage antérieur de fluoxetine cela partira assez rapidement. 

 

Je repense sans cesse à Brasmonkey et le topic "sommes nous ici? " Cela m'aide. 

 

Courage ma belle. 

 

Gros bisous. ❤️

 

 

Edited August 22, 2020 by ChessieCat
added Google translation

[Altostrata]

Erell, I believe you are feeling the effects of too much fluoxetine. This is not kindling, though your nervous system may be sensitized from your prior problems with Paxil.

 

Please hang in there. My expectation is on the average, every day you will feel a little better as your fluoxetine level declines. This will work out.

[sunnysideup69]

Rooting for you @Erell, fantastic that the paxil is GONE! 

[Erell]

@brassmonkey :

 

I wasn't really able to understand your post the other day so came back to it today.

And wanna thank you for sharing your expérience, it really helps.

 

Must confess that when I read your post and your sentences about "not thinking" my first reaction was resistance. 

I was thinking " I'm struggling with terrifying intrusive thoughts of harming people, how can I not think while the issue is a thought ".

 

After several reading, I started to understand that even if I can't control those intrusive thoughts, I can work on the fact that I fear them.

 

So yes, here we go again, this is about Acceptance

 

Beyond acceptance of the symptoms, I think I'm dealing with acceptance of uncertainty : as I've never had those kind of thoughts, never experienced aggressive feelings before, I deal with the uncertainty of acting. 

 

So what terrifies me is not the thought/feeling in itself, but the "what if" (going crazy/acting).

 

Well, having said that I still feel afraid.

But you also helped me to understand that I still have choices.

And even if my mind doesnt understand the "not thinking/not feeling" part of your post, I can feel that there is something important there.

 

Anyway, I really thank you for helping me growing ❤

Edited August 22, 2020 by Erell

[brassmonkey]

I love your post. The realization that you have choices in these situations is very important and can be built, expanded and used to help control the situations when they arise. Acceptance of the situation is just as important too.

 

The "what if's" of the situation can be very frightening. The idea of losing ones self to "dark urges" is a major fear of most people, and shows that there is "humanity" still in there, even if it is clouded by the drugs. Preplanned violent actions are not a problem because they can be dealt with in a somewhat rational manner.  Because the preplanning takes time we can come to our senses and control the situation before it gets out of hand.

 

It's the spontaneous outbursts that can cause the problems. That's where watching for triggers and building spirals comes into play. By paying attention we can catch things before they explode and can walk away from the situation and disarm it. Takes practice, but the more you do it the easier it becomes.

 

The "not thinking" I was talking about is a technique for breaking the spiral cycle of thoughts. Yes, the "dark urges" are thoughts, but they need energy to be sustained. that energy comes from thinking about them. By being in a safe place and allowing your self to not think any thoughts at all, it lets your mind relax and break the cycle of dark urges. The trick is to stop all thoughts for several minutes. Letting the mind go completely blank, even to the point that if you say in your mind "I'm not going to think about that" you are actually thinking too much. You don't make yourself stop thinking, but rather you let yourself stop thinking without thinking about it. I know that sounds really weird but you will know it when it happens. It will be just briefly the first few times because the first reaction is to think "wow, I wasn't thinking".  But remembering how it felt and letting it happen again and again will build the experience.

 

All people can have extremely dark thoughts, it's just that most people don't seem to worry about them and just let then go. ADWD and psych drugs have a bad habit of dragging those thoughts to the surface and hitting us again and again with them. We are in a diminished state because of the drugs so we have trouble controlling and rationalizing those thoughts and that can be quite frightening. Some of the things that have come into my mind would get me locked away for a long time if I acted on them, but deep inside I know that I never would. They just are not who I am. But when they show up I have to deal with them. Understanding that they are primarily brought up by the drugs greatly helps with that, while trusting in myself to do the right thing does the rest. Now that the drugs have been out of my system for several years the thoughts rarely show up, and when they do it's a matter of "that's interesting, where did that come from, that's not me" and the thought is ignored.

 

Now you probably have a headache from trying to follow that. LOL

[Erell]

On 8/21/2020 at 5:26 PM, Altostrata said:

Erell, I believe you are feeling the effects of too much fluoxetine. This is not kindling, though your nervous system may be sensitized from your prior problems with Paxil.

 

Please hang in there. My expectation is on the average, every day you will feel a little better as your fluoxetine level declines. This will work out.

 

Alto,  you're a gem ❤

"This will work out" is a fantastic mantra!

[Erell]

@brassmonkey : wow, I feel so grateful to benefit from your experience !

 

Fortunately, I don't have pre-planned thinking or concrete images.

 

I think I understand where my resistance came from during my first reading : my thoughts and aggressive feelings don't seem to have triggers and don't seem to be situationnal. 

They appeared recently, concomitent with inner restlessness (too much Fluoxetine).

For example, Yesterday I was feeling slightly calmer during 1hour and started to clean my bathroom. Randomly, intrusive thoughts appeared with a huge amount of inner restlessness. 

 

But your post helps me to understand that then I went to spiralling pretty fast, because of fear.

 

And that's where the "not thinking, not feeling" sounds nice 😄

 

I don't get it yet, probably because of too much restlessness. 

But I'm trying to use some other tips  :

- acceptance 

- love : I listen to meditation about love

- sometimes, exposing myself to the fear (going out to walk and see that nothing happens)

- humour

 

I think that in those kind of situation, part of the issue is that it is new.

I never experienced this before August.

But knowing that others have had those issues does help

 

I wish you a very pleasant day 🤗

[Mimi79]

@Erell We share some difficulties, as disturbing intrusive thoughts are since January my biggest and worst WD symptoms. I have intrusive thoughts of hurting my loved one (especially my dear daughters) and it is a real nightmare, because I love my girls more than my own life. I was happy because I didn’t have any bad thoughts since the last 3-4 months and I naively thought that I was done with that. But since the last 2-3 weeks, it came back with a vengeance. They are as worst as in Jan-feb. It is so hard to accept!

In March, when I started to feel better, I found a little phrase that I was repeating to myself when I had those violent thoughts. I will tell it in French as I don’t want to mistranslate it:

« Ok, j’accueille cette pensée dérangeante car elle fait parti de mon expérience de vie, mais elle n’a rien en commun avec moi, mes valeurs, la personne que je suis. Elle n’est qu’un bruit parasite, je n’ai pas en m’en préoccuper ou à lui accorder d’importance. » 

It helps me to separate those thoughts from myself and remembering that I was not my thoughts. Unfortunately, it isn’t always enough to get rid of those thoughts, but it can helps a little bit. 
 

Have a nice day, dear Erell, and I wish to us all hope and strength to get through  our struggles.
 

Mimi

[brassmonkey]

It can be very shocking when the dark thoughts come out of nowhere for no apparent reason. It really makes on wonder,"how an I capable of such thoughts" and makes one doubt what kind of person they are. All of that is the drugs playing tricks with our mind.

 

It does take a lot of practice to regain control, but each time you try, you make a little headway and the process becomes easier. Trying to calm the inner restlessness will help as the two feed off of each other. Calming exercises, changing the channel, physical distraction will all help to calm the body.

 

It really sounds like you're on the right track with what you are trying.

[Erell]

Thank you SO much Mimi and Brassmonkey.

Your words of support are great comfort  ❤

 

So, I'm at day 5 at 7mg Fluoxetine

 

- physical restlessness still high, but the good thing is there are now oscillations: I have moment where the tension fade and allow me to sit and rest a bit (❤).

The need to move and pace all day long is lower.

 

- mentally it is still highly restless, and is my most challenging symptom : a weird mix between intrusive racing thoughts/doom cloud/agitation/loosing ground/SI/ urges to escape.

It is very hard to cope  and I deeply hope that it will fade with the decrease in Fluoxetine. 

 

- Nauseas and brain fog appears in strong spikes for some hours, then disappear

 

- Sleep : I get between 1h to 5h sleep.

 

Don't know if the toothprick of Paroxetine is a part of the story : I might be taking different microdoses every morning as it is not accurate. 

 

Wish you all a nice day 

Edited August 24, 2020 by Erell

[Cigale]

Bonjour @Erell - Thank you for letting us know how you are doing. You are focused on your improvements and that is so important. I need to do more of that myself. I also want to let you know that I have had to deal with intrusive thoughts. When they first happened, I was terrified because it involved my dearest loved ones. But the book, « Feeling Good » really helped me work through them. The thing that worked for me was realizing that my intense fear reaction to the thoughts meant that these were things I would never do, they were not me and were very scary. 

 

I hope your day is more peaceful. Hugs, Cigale

[mustafa]

Hi my dear @Erell, 

Always thinking of u and hope u are fine now.

I know it is a hard situation but keep hopeful and determined, u are about to taper gentler AD and will have gentler symptomts and I hope u be ADs' free very soon.

Do u still go to the sea?, how it makes difference?.

[sunnysideup69]

Good morning @Erell,

 

How are you doing this morning? Sending a hug from a very rainy London this morning.

[Erell]

Thank you dears  ❤

 

Things are pretty rough.

My parents took me back to their home.

I've lost my job and don't have the finance to pay my flat.

 

I'm lucky that I have a family that can take care of me. 

 

I'm having the hardest time of my life, trying to do my best to keep going.

 

@Altostrata :

- I think physical restlessness has improved : the need to move all day long and to jump out of skin is lower ❤

- Mental restlessness is still extremely high and sometimes unbearable (doom cloud/SI surges/intrusive thoughts/ mental "akathisia"/dread/surges to 'escape').

I hang on to the hope that the Fluoxetine decrease will also help the mental restlessness (which appeared with physical restlessness).

 

Take of you dear friends ☀️

Edited August 25, 2020 by Erell

[mstimc]

1 hour ago, Erell said:

'm lucky that I have a family that can take care of me. 

Hi Erell

 

Several years ago, when I was especially low, my therapist asked me to find some positive things in my life.  One was that I could depend on my family (wife) to be supportive while I dealt with WD and recovery.  It means so much to know you have a safe place despite all the other issues we're dealing with.  I hope you get into a window soon!

[Nyfa25]

Erell, je suis tellement désolée que tu traverses ça... C'est terrible...

 

Je souhaite de tout coeur que ta mauvais vague se termine très rapidement et que tu entres très vite dans une nouvelle fenêtre de bien être...

 

Courage,courage ❤

 

Google translation:

 

Erell, I'm so sorry you're going through this ... it's terrible ...

 

I wholeheartedly wish that your bad wave ends very quickly and that you enter a new window of well-being very quickly ...

 

Edited August 26, 2020 by ChessieCat
added Google translation

[Cigale]

🤗 ma chère Erell. Holding you in my heart. 

[Dejavu]

Erell, I think of you every day and send you healing energy.

[Frogie]

Erell,

 

You are in my thoughts.

 

Sending you lots of good vibes and hugs

[Subzero42]

Erell,

 

Does your family understands what you’re going through ? Mine does not and only thinks I’m a wreck.

 

It’s sad cause it can make a huge difference to have a supportive family not only financially speaking

[Erell]

Hello dear friends,

 

Thank you for you nice support, it helps me A LOT ❤

 

Wow, what a journey eh ?

I realize now how things are special with Fluoxetine because of its long half-life.

And how a small amount can make a big différence.

 

 

Well, one week at 7mg Fluoxetine,  here I am :

 

- physical restlessness  : a lot better !

I'm now able to sit still, able to sleep 5hours (❤).

Things are still difficult : I live all day with a strong restlessness feeling in arms and legs.

But the absolute necessity to shake/move/jump out of skin is much lower 😊

 

- mentally : I still feel highly restless.

Too much surges.

 

I struggle to cope, but put my efforts on focusing on the improvments, even if they are tiny ones.

 

I'm hoping that the decrease will help with mental restlessness and intrusive thoughts and surges. As these symptoms appeared with Fluoxetine increase.

 

I do consider Diazepam everyday, mostly when surges (harm and self harm) are too intense.

But my wish is not to add more drugs, and after 3 years without benzo I'm too afraid of a possible paradoxical réaction. 

It is hard to be afraid of yourself.

 

Again,  thank you : your healing vibes are great comfort ❤

 

Edited August 27, 2020 by Erell

[ChessieCat]

Wow, that's great news that things are improving.  Thank you for letting us know.

[Erell]

13 hours ago, Subzero42 said:

Erell,

 

Does your family understands what you’re going through ? Mine does not and only thinks I’m a wreck.

 

It’s sad cause it can make a huge difference to have a supportive family not only financially speaking

Hello 

 

No my family doesn't understand, but I don't think that people can understand the intensity of our symptoms.

And it's better like that : I'm glad they don't have to go through this !

 

As I'm now living with parents, I choose carefully my words  : I don't talk about harm and self harm impulses, it would just scare them.

And the risk would be to end with more drugs.

 

They do see that I'm very restless, and it seems that these new symptoms have a positive outcome : they now believe me that it is the drug that put me in this hard place.

But they still think that more drugs could help...

 

I'm doing my best to cope, protect my family, my life.

 

Take care ☀️

[mstimc]

I've found that no matter how much my loved ones sympathize and support me, they can't really understand what we're experiencing.  Having your own mind become your worst tormentor is something that has to be experienced to be understood.  Still, having their support is often enough; like you, I try to be grateful for their patience.  Take care Erell!

[Erell]

Hello @Altostrata,

 

I'm sorry to tag you, I'm looking for some words of wisdom and comfort. 

I am very tired.

 

Activation symptoms :

 

- physically : some things are lower (need to pace/shake all day long). Still restless. Physical urges to escape.

- mentally : hard to bear. Dread/intrusive thoughts/ doom/ surges/ loosing ground.

- sleep : I wake up every hour with "restless legs" in all my body. I think I get around 4-5 hours sleep.

- everything feels too much for my brain : light, sounds, interactions. Everything seems terrifying.

 

New symptoms :

- since yesterday evening my body rejects everything I eat (vomit). 

- inner vibrations + feeling like on a boat

 

When I look at daily notes, I think there are improvments (physical restlessness). But the mental restlessness is so hard and beyond everything I knew before August that I have issues to cope.

I know you can't do much, but I think I need some words of hope and support.

 

Take care ❤

Edited August 28, 2020 by Erell

[mustafa]

 @Erell, iam very sorry u are feeling bad but I think I need to remind u with something; you could bear more than what u describe now and beared harder suffer. I know it is too hard but, let the hours go, u will feel better very soon.

Please let me know how it goes for u.

[Longroadhome]

Thinking of you @Erell

one day this will be over and you will be free of WD 

 

So sorry your going through this