Greatful: Is this withdrawal or too many med changes at once?

[Ariel]

@Greatful

You are very brave!

Sending big hugs <3

[Greatful]

I did my first real TRE exercise today.  My gosh if it I didn't experience it myself I would never believe it's  real.

The tremmering and shaking were out of this world.  At one point my hands, head, shoulders, legs were all dancing, wiggling and shaking. So strange and fascinating.   I could not believe it and I knew it was something that should be seen, so I called my husband in from the other room to watch me wiggle.  After awhile it stopped for a few moments and then started back up.  Here is the link to the video I used to do it   https://youtu.be/N8Iw1Z8lolc   The woman does talk for a little while before she shows you the exercise.

 

I would love some feedback from anyone else who has tried this.  🌞

[Ariel]

Hi @Greatful

Thank you for sharing about your TRE exercise! Very interesting to read. 

I'm curious to hear how you felt afterwards and how you've been feeling since. 

Have you found it to have a mentally/emotionally/physically relaxing effect?

Has it been triggering in any way? 

Anything you are willing to share about your experience would be useful (and if you don't feel like talking about it, that's totally cool, too). 

You are very brave to experiment with this new technique. I admire your sense of adventure!

Sending appreciative hugs and healing vibes <3

A.

[Greatful]

@Ariel  Let me tell you it was wild.  I felt a little high when doing it.  Kind of giddy if that make sense.

I couldn't decide if I should be scare or not. I must have a huge amount of pent up tension in me for how much I wiggled🙄  After  I felt a deeper calm deep inside, still had tension and mild anxiety. Then of course my mid to moderate afternoon panic still came back.😬

I did feel a little light headed later when I drove to the store, and some disconnect throughout the day. Of course one never knows what causes what.  Was the light headed disconnect from TRE or normal WD. I didn't have a negative or strong  emotional reaction when I was doing it.  I am going to take today off, I had  some light tremor sensations in my arm this morning.  I am a little nervous to do it again it was so weird, but also somewhat excited to try it again.  I think I'll  have my hubby record it so I can send it to my therapist and if my kids want to see. 

I hope if all goes well that it will release some deep trauma/ or at least deep tension  from my body,  maybe find some inner peace from the underline  fight or flight that I have carried around for year and years.  

I  will keep you posted🌞🙃

 

I guess it good for stress and pains in the body also.🙄

 

How are you doing? 

[Ariel]

@Greatful

Thank you so much for sharing! 

You are very brave, dear friend. Wow. 

I have been curious about it for a long time and haven't yet dared try it. 

Maybe if I weren't so isolated I'd have the courage. The thought of doing it and having an intense reaction and not having anyone to whom I might reach out for comfort, distraction, and hugs keeps me from venturing into uncharted trauma territory for the time being. I'm still feeling very sensitive and self-protective and would like to avoid exacerbating WD challenges, they're hard enough as is. 

I look forward to following along from the sidelines. Thank you so much for sharing your journey!

Sending big, big HUGS,

A.

[Greatful]

Update on the TRE  Tension &Trauma Release Exercise 

Where do I start.  Yes I think it is bring up some deep fear feeling from childhood.  I have experience them just from Withdrawal also.  Flashback to feeling and experiencing that emotions, feeling like you are in time travel and went back in time.  

But I also think it is releasing some deep inner tension.

Let me try to explain.

I did it 2 time the first week and had a emotional set back last weekend.

I did it this Monday, Tuesday morning I was sitting outside on my covered front porch on my reclining patio chair with my leg drawn up with my knee bent.  Beautiful morning and then my legs started to tremble so I relaxed and went with it, well the whole trembling, tremmering and wiggling started moving throughout my body up to my neck and head.  I just let it happen, it went on for over 5 minutes.  So I must have activated something when I started doing this which now seems like it is set and ready to release easier.  It did it again this morning when I was on my chair, but it didn't last as long.  I probably will do the full set up again to hopefully encourage it to release more out again at one sitting.  I might have to be careful with having my legs bent like that, it might be a how it is being set off.😳  I know you can stop it when you straighten your legs.  That being said I feel a deeper calm deep inside.  Anxiety and panic  is down not gone though but that might just be the ebb and flow of Withdrawal.  I am still kind of freaked out by it but I am going to keep at it to see if my  anxiety stays down and my panic. I will keep you posted.  This can be uses for simple stress reduction and releasing  tension in your muscles.

https://youtu.be/FeUioDuJjFI  Here is a link to the founder of TRE 

https://youtu.be/N8Iw1Z8lolc this is the one I used there is a slight variation with the set up, but she is training under the founder

 

 

I also want to give a big cuto's (sp) for my therapist Molly.  I know therapist can get a bad rap on here.

She is learning more about withdrawal from me and is very supportive. She is amazed at all the things happening to me symptoms wise.  She knows there is a problem with how easy the doctors hand out drugs. She understand that meds do not heal trauma, I stress to her how important it is for her to learn about these drugs, she is on the front lines with her patients.  I bet most our on drugs (maybe I should ask her LOL)  She could possibly learn to recognize when  someone might  be in withdrawal, or ADR, or drug Tachyphylaxis, 

 She is interested, I've sent  her links with information, Medicating Normal, 

 Robert Whitaker on Anatomy of an Epidemic ( the short interview on youtube)

Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and it's Management 

to name a few.  Now she has to look at them LOL

She is going to either go in person or, watch it online,  a seminar put on by Bessel Van Der Kolk M.D Author of 

The Body Keeps Score.. It's in Chicago!  Now to me  that's someone who is willing to learn more about trauma.

She is also going learn more about IFT Internal Family Systems Therapy  So Thank You Molly!🌞

 

Everyone, know that you are unique and special.  Keep putting one foot in front of the other. ♥️

 

 

 

Edited August 4, 2022 by Greatful

[Ariel]

Hello dear @Greatful

I was just thinking about you on my evening walk. 

You are so brave and tenacious. 

Your kindness shines a bright light illuminating all our paths. 

What a special human being you are!

Thank you so much for all that you are and do. 

I appreciate you <3

Admiration, respect, gratitude -- and healing vibes <3

A.

 

[Erell]

Hello dear @Greatful, 
I was thinking of you and wanted to say hello. How are you doing in this late summer ?
I often read your updates and am always impressed by your strenght, thank you for sharing it with us ❤️

Thank you also Thank you also for all the awareness-raising you are doing with your therapist: you are doing an extraordinary job which, I am sure, will be useful to other people!
Seng love and my healing vibes ☀️
 

[Mia1]

Hi @Greatful how are your tapers coming along? How are you feeling tapering Lamictal along with Lexapro? You must be getting close to the end of Lexapro!! 

[Believer]

Hi @Greatful

just popping in to see how you’re doing, how your taper is going.

 

I dropped another 5% a little over four weeks ago. I think I’m starting to see a pattern where I feel a bit better after the drop then worse as the weeks go by. This is what you experience  with your last several drops, correct?

 

Are you still doing the TRE? If so, do you still find that it is calming you?

 

I hope you are doing okay, think of you often.

 

Hugs,

 

Believer

 

[Greatful]

@Mia1 @Erell @Ariel @BelieverThank you for stopping by.  It is nice to be thought of.  I feel pretty isolated, scared and lonely....

I'm  getting hit and sucked into a swirling cycle of withdrawal symptoms flu like-fatigue so great at times I can hardly get out of bed in the morning or off the couch,  aches and pains, too tired to type on the computer, it takes a lot of energy, my brain is sizzling so bad at times it's like a constant electrocution.  It's frying in a pan and shrinking 😳 Sometimes just moving my head a little bit sets off a squeezing and more intense buzzing.  Sometimes it's hard to be upright, moving around my brain gets worse and causes me so much distress, so back to the couch LOL  My brain is working like a kaleidoscope, fragmented.   Do any of you get it where your brain feels vacant, I can start a thought but then it drops off line and it's blank like the thoughts fell into a dark hole.  The fluid thought is gone.   It makes it hard to post on here, that and the lack of enthusiasm....Man this is hard, sadly I don't seem to have a problem feeling fear and having  crazy thoughts, obsessing thoughts. 😬

 

So in a nutshell I've been laying low and trying to get through one day at a time. Somedays I get sucked into the fear of "can I do this", I feel  trapped  with uncertainty  of healing from this and somehow know there is no way out but to keep going. I find myself saying I don't want to do this anymore😒  A member told me something the other day and it reminded me that I am healing everyday.... 

 "Just remember every single day you are healing. Even if it's just 3 or 4 neurons that got healed, that's 3 or 4 that never have to be healed again"   

 

It's was  2 years  last June since I started this whole process.  June of 2020 I started my taper off of Prozac.  I try not to think about it to  much.  It makes me angry on how much these drugs have hurt me and how little the doctors know about what they are doing.  Just keep throwing drugs at you to see what sticks.  

 

My hubby thought he might have shingles the other day and looked it up on the internet....Guess what a few of the treatments were,  Gabapentin, some ssri's....... I want to cry in frustration and wish they could see into my brain and how scrambled it is... I try to let go of these thoughts and find someway to stay in the day but I have to admit I get tired and scared when I see how much more I have to go through to be drug free.  It doesn't help when depression is a frequent  symptom  for me....

 

@Believer I haven't done TRE in a week or so.  I was to  fatigued and lack of motivation. Yes I think there release of inner tension deep inside.   The strangest thing is in the last week or so I will have body spasms, sometimes it will get set of by a touch or but sometimes it just sitting there I will have a jerking, shivers or spasm run through my body (not sure what to call them so you can understand).  I heard of people having body jerks or spasm in Withdrawal. My muscles have been alternating between intense weakness, to aching to cramping.  My legs and arms can feel like a hundred pounds.   

 

Way to go on your drop...Yes unsully I feel better, clearer after a drop and then the withdrawal hits.    I wonder if at first your body is happy for the less stimulation from the drug but then it has to do some more adjusting to less of the drug, I got this from Baylissa's book Recovery and Renewal

Down Regulation:

In the  cases of both antidepressants and benzodiazepines, the longer the drug is taken, the more the receptors change to accommodate the raised levels of neurotransmitters.  They become desensitized (less sensitive) or ‘down-regulated’ and remain this way during the time the drug is taken.  When the drug is discontinued, the cells then take time to readapt to the changes or to ‘up-regulate’.  During this period of readjustment withdrawal symptoms can be experienced. 

 

The feeling like I am waking up is one that helps me keep going.  Even though I feel awful, my brain is fragmented, I get depression, I still feel deep inside a clearing, like I am coming out of a drugged fog.  It is also a bit scary too.  I have shifting levels of emotions now that can cause some uncertainty, vulnerability.  I feel more exposed with stronger emotions.  Does that make any sense to you?  Before the drugs would damper them and it made it easier to be more protected.   

 

 

I guess this is not very positive and I feel sad that I can't be more positive and upbeat, so I try not to post to much about myself..But I try to keep putting one foot in front of the other, getting to my pillow every night. Try to focus on my goals.

Hoping that tomorrow it will be better.🌞

I'm told that this will all pass.  I am holding on to that.🌞

 

[Oaktree1]

Greatful

 

I just read this - I am sorry that you are suffering in this way.  The last paragraph that you feel you are waking up is the part that I take away from that - that and Baylissa's paragraph.  I hope that you will find relief soon and that your suffering will ease.

 

Oaktree

[Mia1]

@GreatfulI'm so sorry you are having such a tough time, it will get better. Keep putting one foot in front of the other and pretty soon you'll be better. One day at a time, one moment at a time if need be.

 

Take good care of yourself.

[wantrelief]

I too am really sorry you are having such a challenging time @Greatful.  I am heartened to hear you have noticed a shift in what you describe as a "clearing" from deep inside - that sounds like a really positive sign of healing.  I am grateful for you documenting your journey and for your honesty.  I am holding on to what you copied from Baylissa too. You are very brave, Grateful.

[Heath]

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

Yes unsully I feel better, clearer after a drop and then the withdrawal hits.    I wonder if at first your body is happy for the less stimulation from the drug but then it has to do some more adjusting to less of the drug, I got this from Baylissa's book Recovery and Renewal

greatful I have felt this too especially when I didn’t know to go slow.  I have read that’s called the honey moon period. 

 

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

I feel more exposed with stronger emotions.  Does that make any sense to you? 

And yes this totally makes sense. 
Hang on Greatful ! Prayers and healing vibes coming your way ! 

[Kat66]

2 hours ago, Greatful said:

I still feel deep inside a clearing, like I am coming out of a drugged fog.  It is also a bit scary too.  I have shifting levels of emotions now that can cause some uncertainty, vulnerability.  I feel more exposed with stronger emotions.  Does that make any sense to you?  Before the drugs would damper them and it made it easier to be more protected.   

This I totally get. There's a 'rawness' deep inside that is quite frightening. Like the drugs have masked this and the lack of the drug has exposed our vulnerability. For me it also feels like I'm walking on an icy surface that's constantly shifting angles, so there's no stability.

Sending love, as always xxx

 

[Believer]

On 9/7/2022 at 7:48 AM, Greatful said:

Do any of you get it where your brain feels vacant, I can start a thought but then it drops off line and it's blank like the thoughts fell into a dark hole.  The fluid thought is gone. 

Yes, I have had this to varying degrees. I also get pressure and my head feels heavy and foggy. Not the same as having a head cold, but that’s the closest comparison I can think of.

 

On 9/7/2022 at 7:48 AM, Greatful said:

Somedays I get sucked into the fear of "can I do this", I feel  trapped  with uncertainty  of healing from this and somehow know there is no way out but to keep going.

This! What else can we do but hope for a better tomorrow, a better hour or moment even. Hold onto that hope.

 

On 9/7/2022 at 7:48 AM, Greatful said:

The strangest thing is in the last week or so I will have body spasms, sometimes it will get set of by a touch or but sometimes it just sitting there I will have a jerking, shivers or spasm run through my body (not sure what to call them so you can understand).  I heard of people having body jerks or spasm in Withdrawal.

I have had significant rt. arm and abdominal jerks the last 8-9 months. My abdomen will even contract and hold for several seconds. Thankfully this has diminished significantly the past couple of weeks. I get it, all the body sensations, tingling, spasmino, can be disturbing. Hard to ignore, I just try to relax and ride it out. Not easy though and can sometimes wear me down.

 

On 9/7/2022 at 7:48 AM, Greatful said:

Even though I feel awful, my brain is fragmented, I get depression, I still feel deep inside a clearing, like I am coming out of a drugged fog.

This is good, no? I feel like I am on drugs now. Off balance, dizzy at times, walking around like I’m drunk. 

On 9/7/2022 at 7:48 AM, Greatful said:

I guess this is not very positive and I feel sad that I can't be more positive and upbeat, so I try not to post to much about myself.

You’re not alone in this. I really appreciate your honesty. Please keep posting the good and the bad. We are here for you.

 

You remain in my prayers. Keep putting one foot in front of the other.

 

Hugs

[Vasherr]

Hang in there @Greatful, there is always hope!

 

Wishing You a lifelong window!

V.

[Erell]

« sadly I don't seem to have a problem feeling fear and having  crazy thoughts, obsessing thoughts. »
This, exactly ! How can our bodies and minds feel so much while being able to feel so little?! 

 

We can't calm the storm, but we know the storm will pass. I try to remember that the strenght we need to cope is already within us and has carried us all this time. ❤️ 

[Mia1]

Hi @Greatful,

 

wanted to stop by and see how you are doing/feeling? Thinking of you!!

[Greatful]

@Mia1  Thanks for stopping by♥️

 

I put my Lexapro taper on hold and I am working on my Lamictal..... Hit a rough patch....Lamictal works on the gaba like benzos....I had some near out of body feelings ugh....I suppose D/R D/P...depression, to name a few symptoms lol But my body aches hit....Weak and tight arm and legs muscles and horrible tingling through them....So sizzling from my brain to my feet LOL.....  I feel better today....

 

Trying to not get swept up in the how long is this going to go on....back to look at my  Recovery and Renewal book  Doing what I can to stay afloat in the midst of this storm. I can say that I have some battle fatigue🙄

 

I read a lot of success stories to help me stay encouraged...

It truly is amazing to read through some of them and how much they suffered too....It also fuels my frustrations that this happens to people...How can the medical field deny it?  Thank goodness for the people like Mark Horowitz, Joanna Moncrieff, Robert Whitaker, ( to name a few) keep working on getting the information out....New thread on SA about a article in Newsweek https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/27930-the-lie-is-now-hitting-the-mainstream-media-newsweek-article/#comment-613890

 

🌞

 

 

 

 

[Heath]

@Greatful I am pleased to hear you are having a good day !  Keep on putting one foot in front of the other!

 

what is your recovery and renewal book ? If you don’t mind me asking. 

 

 I m planning on sharing that news week article with several friends and family 👍 

 

[Escitalopram21]

On 9/7/2022 at 5:48 PM, Greatful said:

I will have a jerking, shivers or spasm run through my body (not sure what to call them so you can understand).  I heard of people having body jerks or spasm in Withdrawal.

Yes! I have had this too lately and last autumn too after the Ct. I suffer mostly from this when Going to sleep. It is like the feeling when you just fell asleep but dream of falling and your body wakes you up to the jerking. (Sorry for the language, can’t seem to find words right now). One night i was having the jerks/spasms all night, didnt sleep at all, oh boy i was tired at work. 
 

Are you suffering from them still? And are they also at Daytime? 
 

It warms my heart to hear that you have felt something clearing up inside ❤️ That is amazing, you deserve all the good feelings. You are healing. Every second of the day. Warm hugs! Thinking of you, youre an inspiration!

[Greatful]

@Heath Hey guy, how are you doing?  I was talking about Baylissa Frederick's book   Recovery and Renewal.

Are you familiar with her?  She has a wonderful website https://mccare.org/  She recovered from  years of tolerance wd then she had protracted WD.  

 

 

[Greatful]

@Escitalopram21

I had what I will call tremors spontaneously. It would do a rapid wiggle or shake.  Kind of like when I did the TRE.

There was a few day mostly in the evening when I was laying on the couch and or in my bed that it would happen and many times in a row. It's seem to be slowing down LOL  Body spasms..  Crazy.  I think I might have a something like you when falling a sleep a few times, but this was more than a jerk.  I suppose it could be the same, we all have our own way of explaining or feeling things.  Hubby is constantly reminding me of that.  I try to explain how my head feels and he tells me that even if he had the same thing he might feel it or explain it differently.... UGH

 

I am so proud of you for working....My phobia is way to strong right now to be with people....😳

 

Thank you so much for the kind words...You are also healing from this horrendous temporary  brain injury.  

Every second of everyday are body and brain are working to heal.  Warm hugs back to you🤗

[Mia1]

On 9/22/2022 at 3:16 PM, Greatful said:

Trying to not get swept up in the how long is this going to go on....back to look at my  Recovery and Renewal book  Doing what I can to stay afloat in the midst of this storm. I can say that I have some battle fatigue🙄

 

I can really relate to all of this, especially the battle fatigue. I totally have that. I got hit with COVID on top of w/d so it's been pretty intense. I'm starting to get better but it's slow going. Hope you're feeling better 🧡

[KenA]

On 9/22/2022 at 4:36 PM, Greatful said:

 

I had what I will call tremors spontaneously. It would do a rapid wiggle or shake.  Kind of like when I did the TRE.

There was a few day mostly in the evening when I was laying on the couch and or in my bed that it would happen and many times in a row. It's seem to be slowing down LOL  Body spasms..  Crazy.  I think I might have a something like you when falling a sleep a few times, but this was more than a jerk.

I would have these jerks as well. Usually always when I was falling asleep. They would wake me right back up lol. But they passed like everything else

[Heath]

4 hours ago, KenA said:

I would have these jerks as well. Usually always when I was falling asleep. They would wake me right back up lol. But they passed like everything else

@Greatfuland KenA these sudden muscle jerks have happened to me too. Especially when I was drifting to sleep. Never consistent just out of blue , would do it once a week or 7 times a week. They always happened around the time I fast tapered and reinstated in the past and during my continuing slow taper, less but some. I haven’t had these in quite a while. With me they always went away . 👍

[manymoretodays]

Hi Greatful,

Long time and sorry if I was too hard on you.  I still struggle at times, being at all times, the person I am hopefully moving towards being most of the time.  Anger and frustrations are tougher I find to manage, as I was so unable to, for so long......stifled to express those in a healthy way.  Anyway.....that's boring old me.

 

Still plugging away with the Lexapro I see.  Good job.  You are a trooper!   I see you at 2.6 mg now, and decreasing by .02 mL daily. 

So.....so far, I think okay with that kind of linear taper.  I come up with a 10% total drop from July first, when you were at 2.5 mg to October first(I jumped a bit forward) or now being at 2.26 mg.

If it were me, I might want to calculate and drop by percentages, rather than just a set amount soon, as you are navigating the lower doses and getting closer to the end.  Just to be on the safe, harm reduction side.

 

Lexapro   Sept/01/2021  4.90mg>  Sept/25  4.75mg>   Oct/19 4.69mg > Nov/14 4.2mg    Jan/30/2022-- All liquid  4.2mg  (2.20mg at 8am & 2mg at 4pm) 2/17 4mg>  2/24  3.8mg   3/21 3.4mg>  5/2 3mg > 6/1  decreasing by 0.02ml  daily  to 2.7mg>  7/1 decreasing 0.02ml daily to  2.5 mg>  8/1 decreasing 0.02ml daily to 2.26mg

 

I remember asking about blood work, or lab work, and wanted to make sure you were getting electrolytes checked periodically.  If you look at Lexapro side effects......sometimes it can result in hyponatremia, or low sodium.  Possibly another one of your meds might have that listed too.

Here's what Mayo Clinic has to say about hyponatremia:

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hyponatremia/symptoms-causes/syc-20373711

 

I often use Drugs.com, or Medscape to check individual drugs for side effects, or just google a drug by name too works.  And worth checking drug interactions of course too, which you can do at both those sites, and I believe we have done on yours.

 

And......just a possible, please don't get overly worried but you could always call and see when you last had your electrolytes done, and how your Na(sodium) looked.  Just in case that explained some of your symptoms too.  And it's treatable too.

 

It's okay to post when having more difficulties too.  That IS real when it happens.  And you give so much here in a most positive way helping others.

I haven't tried TRE, it sounds cool, interesting.......and might......in the future.  Always finding something new to try and explore.  We ARE adventurers!!  In a good way.

 

Hope today is a good one for you and all of yours.  Thank you for all you do here, and contribute.  Best.

 

L, P, H, and G,

mmt

[Believer]

Hi @Greatful

Popping in to let you know I’m thinking about you. 
 

How are your head and jerking symptoms, I hope you’re getting some relief. My jerks were gone for about a week and a half then showed up again, but aren’t as harsh or happening as often, yay for that.

 

Hugs to you.

[Finnishgirl]

On 1/15/2022 at 6:47 PM, Greatful said:

@Frogie  @manymoretodays

Here is my daily log for Thurs. and Friday

I rounded the times to the hour, half hour

My # scale is 1-10    1 is good and 10 is bad.

1-13 Thurs.

 restless sleep up once to go to the bathroom, 

back to sleep slept fairly sound until

4:30am-    Panic, brain intense with panic, fear,  7/10 weak/heavy muscle,   anxiety Body and                            brain buzzing like static 7/10  White music

5:30am-   100mg magnesium

6:30am-    symptoms decrease  5/10

7am-          .0625 Xanax    Brain squeezing 7/10  dizzy inner shaking 5/10 ear pressure 5/10

                   dr  4/10  Brain and body buzzing/static 5/10  Low mood 4/10

8am-           Lexapro 4.20mgai   37.5mgai Lamictal-    Breakfast 

9am-         Muscles feel cold/ frozen 7/10  brain squeezing/ numb in back,  Buzzing brain 

                  and body,  Anxiety  all at 5/10 Brain freezing/ cold on top

10am-       Left side of face numb ( I get numbness that moves around my face mostly on my l

                  side and around my left eye comes and goes)

10am -      tried to do some light housework got over stimulated and above                                                   symptoms ramped  up to 8/10  started to pant, heavy breathing, shaky

11:30am-   Lunch and  back on recliner

 

12pam-   Decrease in symptoms 

1pm-  Vitamin C, Probiotic, Omega 3  

1pm- 3pm Meditate 

3pm- Buzzing in brain and body '  5/10  Brain sore and tight on top

4"30pm  Magnesium 100mg

5pm-  Dinner  and Omega 3 symptoms are about the same but at 3/10

6pm-  Brain really squeezing

8:pm- Xanax .0625mgai 

9:30-  Trazodone 25mgai  and a pinch (.1mg?) of Melatonin (trying to taper off so it might be                                                                                                          a placebo thing)

9:30pm- meditation/white noise

10pm lights out white music

Brain hurts or has something going on all day.  body/ muscle weakness all day and dizzy when standing 

 

1/15  Friday

1:30am- wake up  set white noise for a few hours

4am- Wake up panic in body and brain anxiety fear 8/10

4:30- Magnesium 100mg  white noise and calm breathing

6am- Decrease in symptoms 6/10 but now add in brain squeezing brain cold/freezing 7/10                  weak  muscles and dizzy when standing 6/10

7am- Xanax .0625mgai  Brain still doing it's stuff and now body and inner shaking

8am- Lexapro 4.20mgai - Lamictal 37.5mgai  Breakfast, same symptoms as above now add                on  ear  pressure

10am- headache and brain panic 

12:30pm- lunch and Vitamin C, Probiotic, Omega 3  Symptoms about the same 5/10

1pm to 3pm- meditate  small bursts of panic, brain crushing in on top  

3:30pm  50mg of Magnesium

5pm  make dinner, super weak in arms and legs and shaky 8/10  Brain cold/ burning (hard to tell) 6/10  Omega 3

5:30 Anxiety 6/10 panic 6/10

6:60 Buzzing/static through body and arms and legs 6/10

7pm- crushing/ burning/cold brain. 7/10 These sensation are on the move around my brain all day            everyday and intensity will very. for 2 to 10

8:30pm- Xanax  .0625mgai 

9:30m- Trazodone 25mgai- a pinch of Melatonin

9:30-10pm  set  white noise for a few hours and meditate

10pm lights out

I generally fall asleep fairly quick.  

 

 

The  thing that is the hardest is the brain that has so some much physical things going on.  It feels like it miss shaped or missing a piece most of the time and I feel like I can think with a half a brain, Blunting then my ocd paranioa morphs more.  Blunting makes it hard it think.

 

 

The inner shaking and buzzing range from 2 to 7 most days.   

Extreme dizzy when standing  comes and go from day to day and will be as bad as 2 to 10

My over all depression is now more of a low mood that from 2/10 to 5/10

Reg anxiety is coming down from day to day to  3/10 to 7/10

 I also have noticed I can hardly do anything without physical I get to over stimulated and the brain/body goes nuts.🥴

 

 spring my symptoms  hovered  between a 8/10 to 8/10 with symptoms.

 

 now around 4/10 to 7/10   When I am at my worst in doesn't seem to last as many days, if I take care of myself and lay around. 

 

Mia1 has taught me so much with meditation, about how to work with the relentless thoughts and so much more.  I know I still have so  much to learn.  Acceptance is a hard one for me. I hope it will come.  I guess that I let it out of the bag that I am Finn and have that built in SISU 

I will have to use it........You my  two fellow Finn's will hold me accountable lol

Do you know what SISU means?

 

Let me know what to do next....Switch to liquid?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I also have noticed I can hardly do anything without physical I get to over stimulated and the brain goes nuts.🥴

 

 

 

 

 

 

          

       

Hi @Greatful  I cannot believe there are so many Finns here. I am Finnish and live in Finland. @Frogie suggested that it would be good to me to get in contact with you, since I have a pretty similar background with the med merry go round. I am now feeling crappy and now waiting until I start tapering.

 

By the way, sisu is a noun for having the guts. My other son is christened as Sisu ❤️  (Sisu Armas which means Sisu My Love). @manymoretodays was wondering what a Swedish-Finn is. Some swedes moved here centuries ago and they still speak Swedish but of course consider themselves as Finns My grandfather is a Swedish-Finn.

[Ninabird]

@Finnishgirl

Im sorry you are going through this mess. I couldn’t help but read in amazement that we have the same brain WD symptoms. I feel for you. The brain symptoms are brutal. 
wishing you love and hugs. 
ninabird. 

[Erell]

Hello dear @Greatful, 

How are you doing these days ?

 

There is something about you that never ceases to amaze me and I am grateful for that: your ability, despite the storms you are going through, to offer your compassion, support and positivity here.
It's no small challenge to do that when everything seems to be marked by fear, so thank you! You always remind me that even in the midst of the darkness and the feeling of being stuck in the mud, it is possible to choose what we want to be and what we want to give in this world, and offering solidarity and compassion is one of the most beautiful choices we can make. ❤️ 

 

I send you warm hugs, so that you know you're supported, believed, and not alone ☀️

[Mia1]

Hi @Greatful wanted to stop by and see how you're doing?

[Escitalopram21]

On 10/19/2022 at 6:01 PM, Finnishgirl said:

My grandfather is a Swedish-Finn.

Hello! I am a swedish speaking Finn 😄
 

Hello dear @Greatful

Cheering for you. Thank you for stepping by my thread ♥️ 
 

[manymoretodays]

On 10/19/2022 at 9:01 AM, Finnishgirl said:

By the way, sisu is a noun for having the guts. My other son is christened as Sisu ❤️  (Sisu Armas which means Sisu My Love). @manymoretodays was wondering what a Swedish-Finn is. Some swedes moved here centuries ago and they still speak Swedish but of course consider themselves as Finns My grandfather is a Swedish-Finn.

 

My grandpa was a Swedish Finn.  Other grandpa was a Finnish Finn.  And then us descendants, after they came to America.  One grandma Swedish-Finn as well or maybe purebred.  Unsure.  Say that all very rapidly Ole. 

And the other likely Finnish Finn, she immigrated alone with my grandpa(one of her children), after his Dad was murdered.

 

I cannot not wait until I travel to Finland someday soon.  I can't believe it's on the horizon for me now.  Hoping to find a relation, but happy to just see some of the townships(some now changed names and all) of my ancestry(roots).