success ☼ MrAnxious: 3 months off Effexor XR (6 years on)

[MrAnxious]

 

Hey Mr. A,Are you tracking your symtoms daily? I have a list in a spreadsheet and I rate them out of 10. It helps me to see the pattern and also to recognise that, slowly, I'm getting better. I totally understand how it can feel like you're not getting better through -- it really is a mind f**& isn't it?Congratulations for not taking Ativan for 3 weeks. For my part, Benzos only made things worse. I got rebound insomnia and anxiety from a few pills of Valium. Once I stopped taking the Valium things slowly started to improve.

Spreadsheet sounds like a great idea! Mr. A - Good for you for getting clear of all this stuff. It took a while it seems like, but your story inspires me. I had sleep apnea while on Celexa for some reason years ago. I have some of it when I sleep on my back.I know that for me, getting off Adderall was a huge improvement though I will be struggling now with Cymbalta and then Tramadol. Things are not perfect, but at least I feel a little more authentically grounded in my own experiences off the Adderall. I didn't realize how messed up I felt on the stuff and unreal and half-dead until I stopped.

[MrAnxious]

Cat it makes me feel so good to know that i inspire you I know that you will taper properly and anything you need im here for you. Fish oil and exercise are the biggest thing..lots of walking. I walk 10-18 km a day everyday because it makes me feel better and more grounded. Get out no matter what it speeds up recovery i truly believe. Keep in touch

 

And memi its hard to keep on. But i know i gotta put it back on .what was the whole transition like for you?

[Meimeiquest]

I hated it and couldn't sleep, but I left it on because my test was very bad, my O2 sat dropped to 70 and I stopped breathing for 90 seconds...and my only symptoms were snoring and such fatigue. And it got gradually easier. I only pulled it off once while sleeping, which somewhat surprises me. Then I felt better and started ignorantly dropping meds....so I don't sleep well because of withdrawal. I tried the nasal cushions but could not tolerate them. Now I think some are using a smaller, nose-only mask to avoid mouth leaks, but I am too overwhelmed to make a change. The mask presses under my eyes and is making the bags much worse...that's my biggest complaint.

 

I had a sister diagnosed with sleep apnea years ago. Since I was diagnosed without symptoms, my mom and two more sisters have been diagnosed. We're a mess!

[MrAnxious]

Wow Memi sounds like you have had quite the ride also with all this. Does the brain eventually adjust to the cpap? I have so many questions: sorry. I am just beside myself trying to get this to work. Its my last battle i hope.

[Meimeiquest]

I think it is really important that you leave it on ALWAYS when you sleep or nap. Or, lol, always. Last time I was in the office, the techs were looking at the daily downloads...one woman used hers for 20 hours!

 

I have to say in my non-withdrawal-dominated moments I sleep well and wake up rested.

 

Compsports has had a horrible time of it...she would know more and is on at least one web support group.

 

Keep trying, it is really important!

[Petunia]

Hi Mr. A.

 

Haven't seen you online in a while and I was wondering how you are doing and if you have adjusted to your cpap mask now.

 

Petu.

[MrAnxious]

Hi Mr. A.

 

Haven't seen you online in a while and I was wondering how you are doing and if you have adjusted to your cpap mask now.

 

Petu.

Hey Petu ! Thanks for caring

 

Well so far it's been terrible on the Cpap. I keep taking off the mask and therefor I am not feeling the benefit that I should. My other symptoms have died down since probably the last couple months, but this is the biggest thing i have to get working. I am so tired all day and exhausted. I think that is where most of my symptoms are coming from. I really don't know where to go from here, i always put the mask on but take it off in my sleep when i dont know. 

 

 

How are you doing ?

[Meimeiquest]

Hi Mr. A, Have you called your resp. therapist to see if they have any ideas? This must be a common problem.

[Petunia]

That's great that your 'other' symptoms have reduced.  Like Meime said, keep searching for solutions to keeping that mask on, there has to be a way.

 

As for me, several of my worst symptoms are actually starting to reduce in a consistent kind of way again, since they flared up again earlier in the year when I tried to reinstate Prozac, then Lexapro, and then did another trial of ADHD medication.  So I finally feel like I'm on a good path to recovery.

[alex]

  So I finally feel like I'm on a good path to recovery.

 

Hey Petu; yes, it takes time and endurance, but it happens.

I am in the windows-waves pattern, being mornings the hardest, but with an overall improvement.

 

Keep going, you're doing great.

 

Hugs,A.

[MrAnxious]

Yah i have to agree with time passing everyone is doing great and making huge strides.. its the medication that really set us back. Ive made aot of positive changes..walk 10-15km a night with a friend...figure at this point go hard or .... who knows lol. I slept with the mask but it was under the sleeping pill. Still i believe that is progress. Winter is coming folks so be prepared for that seasonal demon and get a light therapy light it helps and take lots of fish oil it helps so much. If you are allergic to fish dont ! Ive lost roughly 8lbs in the past two months through hard exercise even when i cant i can..no excuses. Pain is temporary i have learned. You want something through this hellish journey you got earn it! I will get over you effexor..heck i kinda already have

[tezza]

You sound good!

[alex]

. You want something through this hellish journey you got earn it! I will get over you effexor..heck i kinda already have

 

That is absolutely correct Mr.A., and we will get over that demon Effexor for sure!!

[MrAnxious]

So i dont know what to do i am getting like 4 hours a night with my cpap machine and a sleeping pill but i am not noticing much difference the next day yet and i still feel nervous and anxious sometimes so i am not outta the clear, alot of anxiety talking with new people i dont know after this trauma i feel so broken that i have to get use to people all over again not on drugs. Like i have people calling for a group home job i applied to cause im on assistance, but i feel so nervous still to get out and immerse myself , like i dont quite feel ready and im not getting any younger ill be 31 in two weeks. I just feel stress from this all and need more time maybe. Im just really nervous might still be from messed up sleep or wave who knows...i started reducing buspar 3 days ago again and ive been taking that slow every 4 weeks so ill be happy when im off that in probably another 6-8 months. I havent really taken ativan either which is good.

 

I need all the advice i can get pls guys and gals!!

 

Also i can probably go 1 more month on assistance cause i do want to work just not sure when i can take that stress...

[MrAnxious]

Advice anyone?

[alex]

You are not getting any younger because you will be 31??

 

I am gonna be 60!!!

 

You asked for avdice?

 

I'm sorry if I'm blunt;this very hard process requires from us to be patient,but strong.

You have to look for your inner strength, and try to make things happen.

Try to make an effort and despite your distress, do what you have to do.

You may feel bad at the moment, but I can assure you  will feel better afterwards.

Withdrawing from "life" wont help you.

[Petunia]

Perhaps the stress of looking for work now is increasing your anxiety and symptoms again.  Once you get settled in a new position maybe your recovery will get back on track.  Reducing Buspar may be contributing also.  I took Buspar for a while a few years ago and found that it did help to reduce anxiety, apparently, it only works for some people.  Perhaps it would be better to wait until you are comfortable in a new job before tapering another medication.

 

Getting 4 hours sleep a night is better than 2.

 

Are you still having problems keeping the mask on?  I almost suggested that you try using duct tape, but then changed my mind.  Oops! I just wrote it anyway. 

 

I know you're not doing as well as you would like, but you are doing much better than some people here, including me.

 

Many people get anxious about meeting new people, and lack confidence in unfamiliar social situations, CBT can sometimes help with that.  I wish I could be more helpful, but like Alex wrote, just keep going, take life one day at a time and do what seems to be the next right thing. 

 

You're doing fine Mr. A, this is a wave and it will pass.

 

(hugs)

 

Petu.

[MrAnxious]

Sorry Alex this must be a wave i feel alot older because of the wasted years being drugged. I do feel your pain and i hope you feel better soon, i have just lost myself lately and the support helps alot. I think with impending job..my mask..reduction in buspar is the perfect storm for a wave, lets see in a month from now how i am.

 

Petu you and your words are amazing and really help me in my time of need. I am just scared about the future a career and if ill get back to feeling normal again, i hope ur good my friend, thanks for being there for me.

[alex]

Mr. A, I know how hard it can be; I just want to encourage you to keep on giving the good fight.

It is known that social contact and interaction rewires the brain and promotes neuroplasticity.

It is a matter of balance;not overdoing it, but not withdrawing from the world....

 

Sending you healing vibes.

 

And you are NOT getting any older.....I am!!

[MrAnxious]

Thanks, I realize i've just had more anxiety since i lowered my buspar so i just have to wait to stabilize at that dose for this month and then maybe hold it their for another month and go down after that. I only have 15mg left but i think still the evil withdrawal is hiding underneath. I have had pulses all over my body after reducing and more anxiety for sure. I am trying to settle the issues with my cpap, i am sleeping with my mask on but i keep taking it off in my sleep and i am taking a sleeping pill which i have to stop. It really feels like a crapshoot like it's really pulling my last nerves.

 

I have tried so hard to get to a better place and although it does, i feel like if i have any stress it's going to break me, like ive made huge progress but their is still that huge getting proper sleep and losing this panicked anxiety that comes over me and i feel like everyone is watching me where ever i go etc. It's wierd. I never had this before the drug and not during it and now it's so intense.

 

Also i am still feeling like am flat mood or de attached. How long does it take for serotonin to regenerate after its been blasted by Effexor or a anti dep med ?

 

It's been 13  roughly  1 year and a month off. 

 

Tried everything too , time is my only healer i hope. 

 

 

You just must understand I never had any of these crazy emotions/thoughts before the drug and not really any anxiety and now it's all clouded and I still feel like im watching my life as it goes by. Like I am in a movie.

[Petunia]

.....this panicked anxiety that comes over me and i feel like everyone is watching me where ever i go etc. It's wierd. I never had this before the drug and not during it and now it's so intense.

 

You just must understand I never had any of these crazy emotions/thoughts before the drug and not really any anxiety and now it's all clouded and I still feel like im watching my life as it goes by. Like I am in a movie.

 

 

Here is my story. Life was good I was 23 years old, sitting in my University Class seminar, participating with my class, when out of nowhere all these feelings came rushing over me, people started to go sideways, couldn't really talk. Long story short I dropped out of University and went home to parents. I Went to an emerg clinic and was diagnosed with Generalized anxiety disorder(Gad).

 

Have you had any other treatment besides medication to help you understand and deal with what happened when you were 23?

 

It sounds to me like you had a panic attack and then possibly developed ongoing anxiety because of it.  I'm not saying that what you have now isn't still withdrawal related, but before medication, something happened.  Medication doesn't cure anything, it only masks symptoms, that's if it works at all.

 

Time will heal the medication damage, but you might want to learn some alternative methods for handling uncomfortable feelings and sensations.

 

Have you read any books about how to overcome panic and anxiety?

[MrAnxious]

Yes i believe that is what i had when i was 23 Petu. I have read many anxiety books and done cbt online and read a book on it. My body just feels like it cant relax ever and its constantly in this anxiety mode ..like i dont know how talking to anybody else will inprove my situation atm. I am not sleeping well at all and i just think thats creating that much nore anxiety. I know that i will have anxiety for life but i hope its not as strong. What methods have you used when you get into a uncomfortable situation? I just feel like the biggest thing ive lost is confidence and self esteem..i am much quieter when i talk,.

[MrAnxious]

Oh another problem is that i seem to garner attention where i go cause i am 6`3 250lbs and have deep blue eyes lol..seems that people are always looking at me and i feel inadequate like i dont fit their bill

.

[Barbarannamated]

Oh another problem is that i seem to garner attention where i go cause i am 6`3 250lbs and have deep blue eyes lol..seems that people are always looking at me and i feel inadequate like i dont fit their bill .

Mr. A,Or....perhaps you "fit their bill" JUST FINE ! .

[MrAnxious]

I know what my problem is once I have looked at it. I just went down on my buspar to 15mg , so far ive had pulses all over my body, heavy anxiety, nervousness, insomnia and a zombie like feel. 

 

 

Thanks Barb ! I really hope so, people make me so nervous right now and i really think its because of what i have been through, i look maybe like i have ptsd or something. I might have to go back up a few mg and then stabilize , its not a huge jump i could wait it out but why torture myself. 

 

Ive learned that alot of people have problems getting off Buspar too, i was a believer that it wasn't that powerful, but all drugs kinda of work the same way in alot of ways..

 

 

I got this.. fight it out or add a few mg.

[Petunia]

My body just feels like it cant relax ever and its constantly in this anxiety mode ..like i dont know how talking to anybody else will inprove my situation atm.

 

I know what you mean, its such a physical thing, not something triggered by thoughts and beliefs.

 

You asked what I've used when in an uncomfortable situation.  I'm not sure if you have read my thread, but my life is very different now from what it was before my too fast taper and other life events.  I'm no longer 'out there' in the world, working, socializing, its difficult for me now to do some of the most basic things in life.

 

But I can still answer your question about what I do when I need to do something, but I'm finding it uncomfortable.  I first accept that I'm feeling awful.  I don't like it, but I accept that there's nothing I can do to stop the feeling.  I reaffirm to myself that the feeling, as awful as it is, is not going to harm me, even though its like major warning sirens going off in my body.  Then I resign myself to going ahead and doing what I need to do.  Then, as much as humanly possible, I stop thinking and focus on what it is I'm trying to do.

 

Eighteen months ago I was having to do this every time I got in my car to drive somewhere.  It was probably some of the most difficult times of my life, I would be shaking and sweating, having hot and cold flashes every few minutes, feeling like I was about to die.  It went on for months, but it has slowly improved, I'm still nowhere near back to normal though.

 

Withdrawal anxiety is nothing like 'normal' anxiety.

 

The reason I mentioned your previous panic attack and anxiety was because of something your wrote recently about the way you sometimes feel, it reminded me of your original symptoms.

 

For me, in the evenings, I'm generally feeling better physically.  My body seems to be able to relax, but sometimes I will get 'normal' anxiety, or old insecurities will arise, and then, I can use the cognitive tools to stop the old patterns of thinking, its actually very easy now.  But when I'm in the grip of withdrawal anxiety and depression (which I never used to get), nothing stops the physical sensations, apart from time. For me, there's two kinds of symptoms, one is withdrawal related and there's nothing I can do about it, one is 'normal' old anxiety, which I can handle much better now, being able to tell the difference probably helps.

[Janie]

Good post Petu. I think I know what you mean.  When I recovered to a certain degree, I started feeling like I could sometimes deal with the anxiety and keep it from escalating or control it. Maybe that was 'normal' anxiety. At other times it seems to be totally out of my control - not triggered by thoughts or events - just the body going crazy. I'd like to learn more cognitive tools. The counselors I've seen do NOT really address it!  You gave good advice about dealing with the warning sirens!! It's good to know you have improved. I'm sure you will continue to make progress.

 

Mr. Anxious, you mentioned online CBT?  I will have to look for that.  I have some questions for you:

do you have obstructive sleep apnea or central system apnea (faulty brain signal to breath)?

Did you have any feelings of choking or stopped breathing before you had the test and got diagnosed? what made  you suspect it, if anything?

I'm getting insomnia again, and read that morning anxiety can be caused by sleep apnea. Maybe I should be tested.

 

I agree with the idea of trying to stay on one dose of buspar for awhile since you are stressed with a job hunt/new job, new people at work etc.  I think we can best heal if our lives are stable.  Get used to the job and feel less stressed before reducing again. It might be best to wait several months 3-4? instead of reducing again soon.

 

i was thinking if you take the sleeping pill you might be able to train yourself to keep the cpap on all night, gradually reduce the sleeping pill and maybe be used to the mask by then.  Sounds difficult.  There must be more tips your provider could give or adjustments to it perhaps.

 

Do you have a counselor?  If you could find a good one it should help with social anxiety. It seems only the big cities have therapists that really specialize in CBT.  There are none near me. They say' oh everyone uses that, we all know how to help with that' but then they don't use it. I will have to get my own workbook. I do find just talking to someone, friend, relative or counselor often helps calm me down or lift my mood. It's a kind of release and helps put things I'm anxious about in perspective.  I have some very real stressors that can't be talked away but it still helps to talk to someone about it, even if they don't use CBT. 

 

You've come a long way and although still suffering, we have to remind ourselves how far we've come. You have been so brave and strong to been through all you have been through. I admire you!  In another 6 months or even if it takes a year, you can get to feeling good and normal!  You have many decades in life ahead to enjoy. 

[MrAnxious]

Quick update : hey everyone, ! Well im still struggling, but now its with a sleep apnea mask. I just cant fall asleep when its on my face. I can with a sleeping pill but they arent the cure or the trick for me. My brain wont shut off once the mask goes on and with my insomnia anyways its that much worse. Ive tried everything, and i am so exhausted and yawning all day. I can take the next month off but i feel so pressured by people thinking things...like he is milking this time off etc..im sick okay !!! Its been 1 year since any effexor, i am probably still in the thick of it..just not sure anymore..

[Petunia]

I'm sorry to read that you're still struggling Mr. A.  After a year, its quite possible there are still some withdrawal effects and the added stress of trying to deal with the sleep apnea mask wouldn't be helping.

 

Do you absolutely have to use it?  Maybe you could try just not using it for a few nights.  If you're not getting any sleep anyway, perhaps you could get some sleep without the mask, it might break the insomnia cycle which has now got connected with the mask.

 

Its just an idea, I really don't know what else to say.

 

(hugs)  Petu.

[Meimeiquest]

Have you already checked out the possibility of a dental appliance? Have you talked to the respiratory therapist?

[MrAnxious]

Thanks petu and memi. Yes i am going to look into the dental appliance, it only works for 50% of people so its worth a shot. I AM JUST SO TIRED OF BEING TIRED.

[Lexy]

 

My body just feels like it cant relax ever and its constantly in this anxiety mode ..like i dont know how talking to anybody else will inprove my situation atm.

 I know what you mean, its such a physical thing, not something triggered by thoughts and beliefs. You asked what I've used when in an uncomfortable situation.  I'm not sure if you have read my thread, but my life is very different now from what it was before my too fast taper and other life events.  I'm no longer 'out there' in the world, working, socializing, its difficult for me now to do some of the most basic things in life. But I can still answer your question about what I do when I need to do something, but I'm finding it uncomfortable.  I first accept that I'm feeling awful.  I don't like it, but I accept that there's nothing I can do to stop the feeling.  I reaffirm to myself that the feeling, as awful as it is, is not going to harm me, even though its like major warning sirens going off in my body.  Then I resign myself to going ahead and doing what I need to do.  Then, as much as humanly possible, I stop thinking and focus on what it is I'm trying to do. Eighteen months ago I was having to do this every time I got in my car to drive somewhere.  It was probably some of the most difficult times of my life, I would be shaking and sweating, having hot and cold flashes every few minutes, feeling like I was about to die.  It went on for months, but it has slowly improved, I'm still nowhere near back to normal though. Withdrawal anxiety is nothing like 'normal' anxiety. The reason I mentioned your previous panic attack and anxiety was because of something your wrote recently about the way you sometimes feel, it reminded me of your original symptoms. For me, in the evenings, I'm generally feeling better physically.  My body seems to be able to relax, but sometimes I will get 'normal' anxiety, or old insecurities will arise, and then, I can use the cognitive tools to stop the old patterns of thinking, its actually very easy now.  But when I'm in the grip of withdrawal anxiety and depression (which I never used to get), nothing stops the physical sensations, apart from time. For me, there's two kinds of symptoms, one is withdrawal related and there's nothing I can do about it, one is 'normal' old anxiety, which I can handle much better now, being able to tell the difference probably helps.

[Lexy]

MrAnxious

I hope you are better.

 

Petu

How can you tell the difference between normal and withdrawal anxiety?

[Lexy]

mrA

 

Experiencing anxiety, can't tell if it's WD or normal anxiety. I've been micro tapering and had put a hold due to severe headaches, now headaches are lessening but anxiety is back. I just decremented from 48.75 to 47.5 in a week. It's hard for me to believe I would feel so much anxiety from such a small decrement.

I've read your thread and you've come a long way. What are your thoughts?

[Petunia]

Lexy, I sent you a PM

[MrAnxious]

Hey lexy and Petu ! It makes sense lex that you feel how you do on a small increase. I have been off effexor for a year now and i have to say the buspar has let me down easier but everytime i decrease that now i feel crummy and anxiety for 3-6 days everytime. I believe that is the rest of the effexor w/d showing through. In away the buspar has been a savior for w/d but i have to come off that now. I have 15mg left which isnt much for buspar. I really want you guys on my facebook so we can chat all the time send me private message k