success ☼ MrAnxious: 3 months off Effexor XR (6 years on)

[alex]

I am not a doctor, all I know, I`ve learned it here with the fellow sufferers.

Don`t expect miracles, ACCEPTANCE is very important in this hard process.

The only way I know that seems to help adenals is time; in the meantime take care of yourself the best you can, try to eat well, and rest even if sleep evades you.

I can describe my process like this:

 

First: Terrifying, then, terrifying-very difficult; then, very difficult;after almost 11 looong months is getting just difficult.

 

As you can see, it is a hard, slow process.As you americans (or Canadians) say "no free lunches)

 

Hang in there, follow you insticnts, it gets better.

[MrAnxious]

I am not a doctor, all I know, I`ve learned it here with the fellow sufferers.

Don`t expect miracles, ACCEPTANCE is very important in this hard process.

The only way I know that seems to help adenals is time; in the meantime take care of yourself the best you can, try to eat well, and rest even if sleep evades you.

I can describe my process like this:

 

First: Terrifying, then, terrifying-very difficult; then, very difficult;after almost 11 looong months is getting just difficult.

 

As you can see, it is a hard, slow process.As you americans (or Canadians) say "no free lunches)

 

Hang in there, follow you insticnts, it gets better.

Yes this is true, i guess it's a miracle that I am still here right now and yah I take it my adrenals are shot, what I eat sure probably doesn't help, fast food and big comfort meals that lack nutrition big time. I was laughing at the no free lunches cause it went over my head but sounds hilarious. 

 

The hardest part for me I believe is not knowing when I will heal truly or how I can heal when I still have to go off Buspar, ativan...the ativan has only been 0.5mg for about 3 months, mostly everyday but also took some days off. I take it the withdrawal will be hard for that too, but one step at a time. It's been since Oct that I've been off Effexor, in 2 more weeks i'll have graduated my program and have my certificate Today hasn't been too bad and I did get a full sleep last night.

 

Keep in touch Alex, ur advice is knowledge and it is calming and nice to know I have your support , always let me know how you are doing after you comment please

[Petunia]

 

Family doesn't understand why i am not sleeping and they are trying to figure it out when i keep telling them it's withdrawal. Are their any good videos on anti dep withdrawal so i can show them what it's all about so they can understand more, haven't really found much out there.

 

This youtube video was uploaded a couple of days ago: Healing from antidepressants: The power of neuroplasticity

 

[MrAnxious]

 

 

Family doesn't understand why i am not sleeping and they are trying to figure it out when i keep telling them it's withdrawal. Are their any good videos on anti dep withdrawal so i can show them what it's all about so they can understand more, haven't really found much out there.

 

This youtube video was uploaded a couple of days ago: Healing from antidepressants: The power of neuroplasticity

 

 

THANK YOU PETU < YOU ARE AMAZING< how are you feeling my friend ?

[alex]

This great video comes from the IAWP (International Antidepressant Withdrawal Project)

 

I am a member of this Forum and I find the people there amazingly supportive.

 

Good to see something popsitive and reassuring.

[Rhiannon]

I notice you've taken Ativan regularly enough to develop dependence. You might want to take a look at Lexi's thread about Ativan in the benzo area. If you're taking it enough to be dependent it could definitely be contributing to your insomnia and also to anxiety. Benzos cause CRAZY anxiety.

 

Ativan doesn't stay in your system very long so as it wears off you get rebound withdrawal and anxiety effects.

 

The way to smooth that out is to break up your daily dose so that you are taking equal amounts at equal time intervals. This is to keep the level of the drug in your bloodstream more steady so you don't go into those interdose withdrawals.

 

I hate it that doctors prescribe these benzos without knowing this stuff...so of course they don't tell their patients either...and then people end up even worse off than they were to begin with.

[MrAnxious]

I notice you've taken Ativan regularly enough to develop dependence. You might want to take a look at Lexi's thread about Ativan in the benzo area. If you're taking it enough to be dependent it could definitely be contributing to your insomnia and also to anxiety. Benzos cause CRAZY anxiety.

 

Ativan doesn't stay in your system very long so as it wears off you get rebound withdrawal and anxiety effects.

 

The way to smooth that out is to break up your daily dose so that you are taking equal amounts at equal time intervals. This is to keep the level of the drug in your bloodstream more steady so you don't go into those interdose withdrawals.

 

I hate it that doctors prescribe these benzos without knowing this stuff...so of course they don't tell their patients either...and then people end up even worse off than they were to begin with.

 

 

Well you see I've been taking a half of 0.5mg as of late which is 0.25mg about everyday , on weekends i don't take any but I totally hear you on the w/d from them too, it's been a few months of taking the ativan and im sure some of my symptoms will relate to that as for the insomnia etc. It's funny though about the whole window and waves thing, because lately i haven't had to take any sleeping pills (6 days) and i have been sleeping for a few hours and wake and then back to sleep usually until I have to get up for school. It's hit or miss but alot better than last week where I wasn't sleeping for like 3-4 days. I am definitely taking your advice on the ativan and will wean off it slowly. I don't need what I had with the effexor cause i know Benzo have the same w/d or worse. It's such a crapshoot trying to get better.

 

 

Thanks eh Hope you are feeling better everyday RHI

[MrAnxious]

Update : 1 week left of school and then I've made it ! I still can't believe it, especially with this w/d kicking my butt on the daily. It's amazing to see the transformation through the windows and waves: everyone has experienced this I take it ? Like last week I never slept for 3 nights and took advice on Buspar and moved it to before supper and now I am sleeping without the sleeping pill, getting below average sleep but I am getting some as I am dreaming  

 

It's really motivating to see the progress when you are in a window , unfortunately when the wave hits you lose that feeling of progress and have to wait til the window comes back, but it will. It can just take 1-4 weeks in my case. My anxiety/panic id say has gone down 10% it's still greatly there but as I am forced to be out into public and socializing(very hard) i can really see the progression.

 

I know that the Buspar if I took it say at 6-7pm it would keep me awake all night, so sometimes it takes tweaking. And I like to thank Basil I believe on making that suggestion about the insomnia/buspar link. I now take it around 4pm and find myself winding down by bedtime.

 

My fatigue and exhaustion is still very heavy and insomnia and anxiety is still there in full force, but I am seeing the light at the end of the tunnel shining bright waiting for the day for me to envelop myself in it.

 

* Through this journey so far I have learned a great deal about my life, what needs to be fixed, what I need to make myself heal, and the people that I want in my life and the empathy for what others go through. So much more, appreciate the sun alot more, sounds, sights, food tastes better and most of all small moments that Im like :" ah ha " that was nice.

 

So I know that the worst is still not over, but I hold faith that the day will come that the new me will be filled with positivity and not ruminating negativity and where I am healthy and off "the drug". The brain is a beautiful and wonderful and resilent thing.

 

* Also I have started chopping off the "g" letter of "mg" on my Buspar night tablet. It's a really little drop as its just about 1.5mg probably as I have a little tool that shaves it off nicely, gonna wait for a month until I can take off the "m". It's slower than 10% drop so I should be alright but I know I will have w/d from it as well. SO WISH ME LUCK !

 

I also want to thank everyone that has helped me on my journey and commented on my posts ( You are angels to me) and I will be forever grateful for your assistance, anything I can do let me know please !

 

Hang in there "It's going to get better" Faith and hope are the strongest things to hold on too tight.

[lexicon]

What a wonderful post, MrA ..

You truly motivated me today, as I was feeling hopeless ..Thank you.

I appreciated your encouraging thoughts, and the desire to carry on, in this adversity that befell each of us here.

Wishing you healing and wellness MrA.

Lexi

[DrugSlave]

Wow Lexicon, I can't believe the Rehab doctor did that. Yikes.

 

MrAnxious, congrats on getting off Effexor. I hope your symptoms subside soon.

 

One of the withdrawal effects for me has been an aversion to alcohol. I drank 20 beers a week for over 25 years. Simply don't enjoy it now. It tastes weird, feels weird, and when I try one I don't want another. Off beer.

 

Weed. I smoked it for about 10 years. Enjoyed it very much but recently I have found that I became too introspective while under it's effects. I would ruminate about things that happened years ago. I found it was contributing to negative thoughts for me. I think partly because I have been seeing a therapist and analyzing myself. Some of it has been good, but some of it not so good. After a month off weed, the cravings are gone. No problem. Easy as could be. On it for 10 years, one month off....boom, done. Man, I wish getting off Effexor was that easy.

 

Don't drink, don't smoke, don't drink coffee. Nothin'. Frickin' Angel here folks  ....now the meds is a different story...

 

I just started the 10% method and it was too much of a drop for me. I think I will try a drop of 2.5% next time. I have been tapering off Effexor for over a year. It might take me another 3 to 5 years to get off this stuff. Holy crap.

[lexicon]

Yes drugslave it happened. In retrospect I learned that that is the last

place on earth you would want to go for help ..!!

I think taking it slow with the effexor, will ensure safe tapering.

 

But it sure helps to have a sense of humor..

Stay positive, because sooner or later we all heal.

Now if I could solve my Ativan situation ..that would be a blessing ..

 

Wishing you well, and success with the Effexor.

Lexi

 

 

Congratulations from me too, MrA ..

[MrAnxious]

What a wonderful post, MrA ..You truly motivated me today, as I was feeling hopeless ..Thank you. :)I appreciated your encouraging thoughts, and the desire to carry on, in this adversity that befell each of us here.Wishing you healing and wellness MrA.Lexi

I am so glad it helped you Lex, you are a wonderful soul and will get through this battle, anytime you wanna chat just private me ! and hang in there cause the bad days will turn into good days.

[strawberry17]

I'm happy for you Mr A, it's been great to watch your progress

[Karma]

Mr. A. so happy to hear you have nearly made it through your program - what a success!  I am also delighted to hear you report that you have found a way to get some sleep - I was worried about you.  Thanks for posting the positives in your journey as well.

 

Karma

[MrAnxious]

Thanks karma and strawberry your help along the way and advice has been a godsent, the journey is still long as i still have to come off buspar and ativan but atleast im prepared for it and it will be my last medication ill ever be taking psychiatrict wise, cross my fingers, just hope my receptors open up soon !!!! 8 months in

[MrAnxious]

Graduated the program and now I don't know what the heck to do. I have all these emotions and not sure where to put them in check. Basically I can take the next month off to myself which is really good but lately I have had all negative emotions about my future and friends and just don't feel good about myself. I can't say I have been really exercising, so i am gonna go for a blade today and maybe a walk tonight, but you would think I could be happy and proud of myself for what I just accomplished. 

 

I am only 8 and half months out now from the Anti depressant so i still have to give myself time, i could be back in a wave right now or it could be that i don't have a routine and too much time on my hands. Anybody have any suggestions. This is the toughest fight ever cause you know how i was feeling decent last week.  Now I just feel full of anxiety and down in the dumps. Like i don't have any meaning or something.

 

I am staying at the cut that I have made on buspar, maybe this is contributing to the hightened anxiety but it's not like it's a huge drop probably 5%. I will stick with same drop for another refill still so 4-5 weeks and then ill slowly drop again. I really don't think it's cause the way I feel right now.

 

I just want to feel good about myself and have a clean healthy brain again. Support people

[Karma]

Hi Mr. A.,

 

First CONGRATULATIONS on graduating from the program!  Take a look at what you were able to accomplish while dealing with insomnia and anxiety - really something to be proud of  .

 

I think that what you're experiencing is a combination of anxiety over your future now that you have graduated the program (still a part of withdrawals I think) and a lack of structure.  Setting a normal waking and sleep time and planning some exercise will probably serve to help take the edge off a little.  Give yourself permission to take a break, but give yourself a new goal and a deadline to get back to it.

 

I find that my work routine provides structure and in turn it provides distraction from how I am feeling and therefore, I tend to be able to withstand uncomfortable feelings better.  I also found that after my dog was injured and caring for her became part of my routine that I actually felt that I had more purpose and less feelings of melancholia.  Now that she is well and I am back to my old routine I had to find a new balance all over again.  But again, it is about having some structure and focusing on something other than how you are feeling all the time.

 

I'm really very proud of you and I hope you will be gentle with yourself as you define the next chapter of your life.

 

Karma

[alex]

First of all CONGRATULATIONS for your achievement!

I think it is perfectly normal that now that you have accomplished this goal, you feel a little lost.

But you will find motivation again very soon;also, 8 and a half months off is not much.You will keep improving no doubt.

 

Dr. Breggin says we are brave people..and he is right.

 

Sending you good vibes!

[lexicon]

Thinking of you MrA ..

Congratulations .. You are certainly an inspiration,

to each of us, who care about you.

Take good care of you, and keep walking one step at a time.

Sending you hugs,

Lexi

[MrAnxious]

Thank you guys that made me feel alot better, yah im guessing i am in the heat of things right now and i have to find things to keep me busy i went for a roller blade earlier today. Ive had alot of thoughts and emotions in the past month..leaving my placements i shed a few tears and finishing school and leaving peers...this has been quite the ride and i think my biggest problem is living at home in a negative environment everybody seems to be downers..need some good friends or somebody i can hang out with..

[strawberry17]

Well done Mr A I've been following your progress and you have so much to be proud of, you could be going through a wave at the moment, keep on keeping on!

[Rhiannon]

Just have to add, CONGRATULATIONS! both on your graduation (and getting through school in withdrawal) and on your progress with tapering.

 

Also, I agree with what Karma said, about having some structure and distraction, how much that helps. Another thing I've found is that having social support is crazy important to how well I feel. As important as getting exercise, and that one's pretty important for me. It doesn't even have to be best friends, just making sure I interact with other people at all makes a huge difference. So that's something else that might be different now that you're not in school.

 

You're doing great, though. I hope you feel proud of yourself--you should!

[MrAnxious]

Thanks everyone for your heartfelt replies, sorry for the lack of response ! Its hard to feel any accomplishment lately because ive been hit with a big cloud of depression, is this normal..does this happen in withdrawal ? Im worried that its not going to go away now, really hoping this can happen in a wave, the only thing i can think of is it happening after a night of drinking ( i know i shouldn't have) but that morning i felt anxious and extremely depressed , i figured its just a wave but hard to think anything when you are riding through sad..no motivation...wanna be alone days. Staying strong knowing im in this deep with no turning back ! Also with school being done and slowly coming off the buspar, gonna wait another refill aka a month to drop another 5%. Thoughts anyone

[Karma]

Hi Mr. A

 

Alcohol will confuse your nervous system and that could well be contributing to how poorly you are feeling ... it is very likely that is contributing to your depression.

 

My suggestion is that you not make any changes until you feel more balanced.  I have found that if I wait until I'm feeling fairly stable I am more successful with my decrements.  As a matter of fact, I've been holding my Effexor decrement for nearly 3 months and I am definitely seeing sublte stability that I haven't seen when I decrement every 4 weeks.

 

Be patient with yourself and give yourself a little time ...

 

Karma

[johnson]

Please read this article on excessive drinking.

 

http://ezinearticles.com/?Why-Alcohol-Causes-Anxiety&id=1809817

[strawberry17]

Yes to everything Karma said, drinking can appeal but sadly alcohol is definitely a depressant and will make you feel worse, and definitely don't do anything withdrawal wise at the moment, hope you start feeling better very soon.

[MrAnxious]

Well said Karma i have felt more stable today. I have also started healthy eating to speed up my recovery. I am staying away from alcohol now that i know its affect on me the next day. I think moderation is the key. I am waiting for another drop in the buspar for atleast another month, knowing that i am hyper sensitive. Thanks for the article johnson, sometimes in withdrawal we are looking for a feel good..but anything that makes you feel up will also make you feel down in w/d. So i am hoping this wave is coming to a end.

 

Question : From most peoples experience hearing success stories, ive heard that one day the person in protracted w/d wakes up and everything feels good..like their withdrawal is gone..is this true?

[MrAnxious]

Okay I must be rolling through a wave, my jaw has been clenched more when im waking up, my head has been more depressed, my anxiety has re appeared aka worry- i have next to no energy and i just feel so defeated- like I am 9 months off effexor and feel like i start to feel good and wham back to feeling poopy but with different symptoms each time. I know this sounds like the typical waves and windows. Things that have improved is my sleep, my constant fight or flight is slowing down, i just went to a baseball game major league with 45,000 people yesterday..my biggest problem is i am so fatigued and have no motivation aka a depressed brain still i believe...never felt this way before medication...also i graduated with my certificate to help elderly and people but i fought for that and now have no motivation..i have about one month left where i can rest...comments and suggestions people they all help

[MrAnxious]

Ia there anything i can do for this exhaustion feeling it has gotten to the point where its a everyday feeling and i am getting used to it..will my energy come back im losing hope with this lack of motivation/energy...i am pushing myself everyday with a long rollerblade even when im wiped...how long is this gonna go on for i am 9 months out atm..

[Petunia]

I don't think anyone can tell you how long this will last, but I understand your frustration.  Read through the windows and waves topic again. This is just my opinion, but I think if you are feeling exhausted, then that's your body trying to tell you something.  Switch to light exercise, like walking, temporarily.  That way, you are still getting some exercise and relaxation at the same time, but not wasting energy, which your body probably needs to be using at the moment for healing purposes.

 

Its good that your sleep has improved and anxiety decreased.

 

What are you going to be doing when your month of rest is over?

[MrAnxious]

I don't think anyone can tell you how long this will last, but I understand your frustration.  Read through the windows and waves topic again. This is just my opinion, but I think if you are feeling exhausted, then that's your body trying to tell you something.  Switch to light exercise, like walking, temporarily.  That way, you are still getting some exercise and relaxation at the same time, but not wasting energy, which your body probably needs to be using at the moment for healing purposes.

 

Its good that your sleep has improved and anxiety decreased.

 

What are you going to be doing when your month of rest is over?

 

Yah I know their is no timeline for withdrawal and still I hold hope that their is It's wierd cause I can rollerblade for 4 kms a day in the past 4 days ,just trying to rid the depression part that is the wave over me in the last week, but that has lighten up now. It seems like the exercise has pushed me outta depression but I am still just maybe mentally and really physically exhausted. I think the exercise is great but maybe i should go slower. I work up quite the sweet, but im talking motivation too, maybe it's from the depression , but i feel like "where did my energy go" ? Like I remember having lots of energy on the effexor but that's because it stimulates the norephinerene receptor i think? Who know's. After the rest of this month and next, then I have to get a job from the certificate that I got. Which is okay, but huge scary step and in the midst of recovery...so who know's , I guess just take it as it comes ? Like I am trying to think if I am stuck in a huge 3-4 week wave. Or if a window will come i forget about the good times when I start to revert back to the drug. Apparently the drug builds in the tissue for so long and fills it up, it release it when the drug is void from your system and constantly release pockets of the drug thus giving that withdrawal feeling. Not sure if this is entirely true but it's a theory i was reading.

 

I'd say anxiety around people is still there,more than I can ever remember feeling, clenched jaw in the morning lately. Feeling like a zombie sometimes staring off feeling, feeling like i am living in a movie type like watching myself go through the motions but not being attached to them ? * Here to interesting late night rambles* I do think in a way my personality is coming back but I am also confused to who I am or suppose to be(minus the 6 drugged years) I went on at around 23 until 29...so it feels like that chunk of my life is gone because i was feeling like a zombie more or less and didnt know it for that long.. It's so many emotions and feelings and feelings of now what steps do i take to get my life back, car, job etc..

 

 

If you can answer all this it would blow my mind SOMEBODY ! Is it normal to feel like this in withdrawal?! So many positives but still some negatives.

 

 

Mr. A

[Petunia]

If you can roller-blade for 4kms on a regular basis, then I would say you're doing pretty good.  If I'm lucky, I manage a 10 minute walk to the park or to a local grocery store maybe twice a week and I really have to psyche myself up for it and I can never manage it before 2pm.

 

I recently read something about how in withdrawal and other conditions which unbalance the nervous system, its important to do the right kind of exercise because some kinds can make it worse.  For example, endurance exercise increases stress and slows down healing.  It seems that intense exercise, for short periods, followed by rest can be helpful, but even that is too much for some people or in the earlier stages of healing.  Its probably a combination of balance and paying very close attention to how your body is responding to what you are doing.

 

I dont know that theory about drugs building up in tissue, I remember reading something about it building up in bones, are bones tissue?  I prefer the theory which suggests that our brain and nervous system change and adapt while being on medication, (are damaged) then when the meds are stopped, it has to go through a process of changing back to the way it was before without drugs.  We basically have to grow new brains and nervous systems, depending on which parts were effected and for how long.

 

You wrote "Feeling like a zombie sometimes staring off feeling, feeling like i am living in a movie type like watching myself go through the motions but not being attached to them"

 

That's a common symptom, called depersonalization or derealization, I can never remember the difference.  I think its DP, not feeling connected to yourself or other people.  I experienced DP/DR for months at a time, now it just comes and goes, don't worry, it will stop eventually.

 

You wrote:  "I do think in a way my personality is coming back but I am also confused to who I am or suppose to be(minus the 6 drugged years) I went on at around 23 until 29...so it feels like that chunk of my life is gone because i was feeling like a zombie more or less and didnt know it for that long.. It's so many emotions and feelings and feelings of now what steps do i take to get my life back, car, job etc.."

 

I don't think anyone is 'supposed' to be anyone.  We are all changing all the time in response to our experiences.  Perhaps you would do better not to think in terms of trying to get your old life back, but instead, you are building a new life, a better life.....one step at time.  A life more suited to the person you are and are becoming.

 

This difficult withdrawal experience and suffering which you are going through now will make you a more compassionate person and a better source of comfort and support for the people you are going to be caring for in your future career.

 

You are doing really well, focus on the positives.

 

 

[MrAnxious]

Thanks petu, that cleared up and gave me some ideas

[DrugSlave]

Yea, that was a good post Petu.

 

The career you are pursuing sounds very fulfilling. You should feel good about yourself that you have chosen to help others. They will benefit and so will you. Nice work dude

 

take care

[MrAnxious]

Yea, that was a good post Petu.

 

The career you are pursuing sounds very fulfilling. You should feel good about yourself that you have chosen to help others. They will benefit and so will you. Nice work dude

 

take care

 

 

Thank you so much for the kind comments Drug slave, how are you doing in your w/d ?

 

Also do you think when people recover fully they can be happy and enjoy life to the fullest, or is recovering just not having withdrawal syndrome? I am just going through a tough wave right now i think and am kinda discouraged.

[MrAnxious]

Okay so i am at a period where i am not sure what is going on. I feel a slight depression when i wake up in the morning and than flat line through out the day. I notice i am staying up very late but than sleeping in until 1-3pm. I really don't have anything to get up for but I feel like such a lazy bum. No energy or motivation. I am pushing myself to rollerblade everynight which is nice. I am wondering if this is a wave that i am in. Like sometimes it gets confusing to whether its a wave or window? Can a wave go on for a long time? Whats some of wave time periods you guys have went through..neefing some love here.