Elexi Posted May 23, 2022 Share Posted May 23, 2022 (edited) Original topic title before reducing the length of it: I cold turkey’d too many things, the worst being Celexa, due to misdiagnosis and emotional blunting. I’m struggling. Let me preface this by saying I have had unstable mental health as far back as I can remember. I was an anxious and depressed child. I used to SH as a teenager and was put on Paxil, but I hated it and quit after a couple months. I did not use medication for any mental health reasons for at least 10 years after that. I have been told I’m bipolar by people close to me, and I think doctors eat that up and once you’re branded bipolar, that’s your identity. But that’s neither here nor there; the main takeaway from that is I was put on several different medications and hated the way I felt on all of them. My first return to psych meds was in the summer of 2015 with a diagnosis of GAD which turned into GAD and bipolar 2. I was put on Celexa 20mg. It was pretty good for a while. I was then put on Lamictal 150mg and took both, but the Lamictal made me feel like a zombie so I didn’t take that long. I kept up with the Celexa. After my gastric bypass surgery, the Celexa didn’t work as well. I was then bumped to 40mg and that’s where I stayed. I was starting to feel severely depressed, emotionally numb, and had anxiety creep back in so I was put on Wellbutrin 300mg and buspar 15mg on top of the Celexa. I took this combo for maybe a year but I was horribly noncompliant for the most part and it never really did much for me. I CT’d the buspar and Wellbutrin. I was to a point (and still am) where laughing felt like a chore. Crying is almost non existent unless it is a major sad event (death). Interest in things and smiling are difficult to come by. The only emotion I felt was rage. I was either apathetic or enraged. That’s when I was given the ultimatum to treat my bipolar disorder, as I was often verbally abusive to my SO and would have meltdowns. Jesus this is embarrassing. I finally gave in and started seeing a psych through telehealth. Big mistake, told them about my previous dx. That was enough to not even evaluate me, and I was started on some antipsychotics in addition to the Celexa. This was the beginning of a long spiral of multiple medications that ended with Latuda that made me so depressed I cried constantly. There was no tapering involved really, maybe just a two week period of dropping while introducing something else. I went through Abilify, Trileptal, Latuda, Abilify again, and Lamictal. My brain felt so fried at this point I said I’m done, and stopped taking everything except my Celexa. After stopping all of these meds I was so far depressed and anhedonic I decided I was done taking everything and needed a brain reset. I ended up taking 10mg Celexa a few weeks and then dropped to nothing after 6.5 years. After reading this forum, I realized this was probably one of my big mistakes. Now not only did I have severe mood disturbances, I felt physically sick. The physical symptoms went away after a few weeks. The last time I took Celexa was at the end of February this year. Now I am dealing with a whole host of other issues. It turns out I’m not bipolar, I have ADHD. Again, not knowing any better that I shouldn’t take anything that alters my brain, I’ve been on stimulants and back to Wellbutrin. NOTHING is helping. The anhedonia and apathy are killing me. I feel no emotion towards anyone. I am not interested in anything. Every moment is painful. ADHD meds are doing nothing for me. I guess I am looking for support. Advice. Anything. Something that tells me my brain damage isn’t permanent. Something that tells me I will feel emotions again, that I won’t think my favorite past times are a waste of time, that I will feel love towards my SO and family again. I felt emotional blunting with Celexa, but nothing like this. I don’t know what to do, and my doctor is useless when it comes to this. Edited May 23, 2022 by ChessieCat added original intro title before shortening Story begins July 2015 with Celexa, 20mg. Sometime 2017: increased Celexa to 40mg after gastric bypass. Stopped taking Lamictal, I was never really compliant with it anyway. June 2021-July 2021: Abilify 5mg, Trileptal 600mg. Stopped Abilify&Trileptal, changed to Latuda 20mg September 2021: Titrated up gradually to 80mg Latuda; thought emerging major depression was due to the medicine November 2021: Done with Latuda, couldn’t take it anymore. Switched back to Lamictal, gradually back up to 150mg. Added back 300mg Wellbutrin due to crippling depression - at this point on Lamictal, Wellbutrin, and Celexa. Celexa dropped to 20mg. January 2022: Fried, and done with bipolar meds. Dropped Lamictal. February 2022: Decided I’m going to stop taking Celexa too. No range of emotions for years, crippling depression. Tapered extremely fast, from 20 to 0 in about 3 weeks. March 2022: Evaluated for ADHD as suggested by doctor. Put on stimulants. current meds: Adderall 15mg daily, Wellbutrin 400mg daily, Lunesta 3mg daily Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus getofflex Posted May 25, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted May 25, 2022 Hello, and welcome to SA. We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs. Is your ultimate goal to get off of psychiatric medications, including your Adderall, Wellbutrin and Lunesta? On 5/23/2022 at 2:47 PM, Elexi said: I guess I am looking for support. Advice. Anything. Something that tells me my brain damage isn’t permanent. Something that tells me I will feel emotions again, that I won’t think my favorite past times are a waste of time, that I will feel love towards my SO and family again. I felt emotional blunting with Celexa, but nothing like this. I don’t know what to do, and my doctor is useless when it comes to this. If you decide to get off your psych meds and stay off, then it is highly likely that your brain damage is not permanent. And, yes, you will eventually feel emotions again. I believe these drugs work by numbing out our feelings. They also tend to blunt and reduce our cognitive function. Who knows what else they do to our brains. This is why I decided to get off of them. From your history, you have been on a carousel of various meds, and this is probably why you feel so emotionally dead. The more we go on and off various drugs, the more they tend to do this. You are probably also experiencing withdrawal from having tapered off the Celexa so quickly, which contributes to this feeling. Thanks for giving us your drug history. Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work. This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and be very cautious about changing our doses: How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization This link is rather long, but it really helps understand what takes place during recovery and withdrawal, and helps you see how and why recovery is a slow, gradual process. What is Happening in Your Brain? (Explains why recovery takes so long) Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms Stability is really important. Please read the link about stability: Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. Magnesium Omega 3 Fish Oil I've given you a lot of information. Take your time to read it, and please let us know how you are doing. Please do not private message me. Only tag me for urgent questions about tapering and reinstating - thank you. ***Please note this is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a doctor who understands psych meds and how to withdraw from them, if you can find one. Lexapro Started Apr 15 2010 - 10 mg; started taper August 2017, recent taper info: Apr 2 '20 0.18 mg; Jul 16 0.17 mg, Aug 23 0.16 mg, Oct 7 0.15 mg, Nov 8 - 0.14, Jan 16 '21 - 0.13, Feb 7 - 0.12, Feb 22 - 0.11, Mar 26 - 0.10, May 21 - 0.09, June 15 - 0.08 Aug 16 - 0.07, Oct 6 - 0.06, Nov 21 0.05, Dec. 17 0.04, Jan 14 '22 0.03, Feb 19 0.02, Apr 18 0.01, May 15 0.005, Jul 8, 0.00. Psych Drug Free as of July 8, 2022!! Woohoo!!! other meds: Levothyroxine 75 mg magnesium in small amounts at 4 AM, before bed suppl AM: fish oil, flax oil, vit C, vit E, multivitamin, zinc suppl 8 PM: magnesium 350 mg, extended release vitamin C, melatonin 2 mg Paxil 2002 - 2010, switched to Lexapro 2010 Trazodone 50 mg. 2002 - 2019, fast tapered in 2019 Xanax 0.5 mg as needed 2002 - 2019, up to 3x weekly Link to comment
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