Thorin Posted October 11, 2022 Author Share Posted October 11, 2022 Hi MMT, Thanks for dropping by. Seems I am improving although today has been not great (still ok though). Assuming it's from the double dose? We'll see. Just looked at your signature. Seems we have similar pharma stories. Gives me hope that I'll be off them eventually. Bit of a nightmare trying to com off though. I believe my very original experience, when I was put on an antidepressant for the first time was also situational overwhelm. Fallout from leaving a place of limitless trauma and not having the skills or support network to cope...... Not something we should be medicated for so much as have a support network put in place and give us some good therapy. Anyway! too late now..... I'll check out the link you posted. It's only happened a handful of times but better that it doesn't happen at all. I decided not to worry about the name change. If someone I know miraculously realises this is me hopefully they'll be compassionate. Thanks again for dropping by! Cheers Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 11, 2022 Author Share Posted October 11, 2022 Daily med notes: Monday 0830 - 0.125 mg clonazepam bad sleep, woke up with some anxiety and weakness in body. Likely due to some alcohol Saturday night. Will have to avoid that 1300 - 0.125 mg clonazepam (0.6ml CBD oil) brain quite foggy and hard to focus, concentrate. Mind jumping around quite a bit. Some mild anxiety and mild pressure in head. 1900 14mg Lurasidone. Finished work early. Mostly relaxing afternoon. Managed a nap. 2030 not feeling any emotion or any pleasure really. 2050 Fish oil multivitamin D3 magnesium 2230 0.125mg clonazepam Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 13, 2022 Administrator Share Posted October 13, 2022 If you keep drinking alcohol, there's no use in your posting daily notes. What we'd see is that the alcohol is affecting your symptom pattern. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted October 13, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 13, 2022 alcohol-wine-and-beer * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 13, 2022 Author Share Posted October 13, 2022 Thank you. Will read through this later. Have to admit having some drinks has been a relief. Will cut back Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted October 13, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 13, 2022 Thor, Just find an alcohol substitute like ginger ale or something. Even a teeny little bit can mess with you now. Don't drink. You are likely still recovering from the last drink now.......even though it's been what.... a week? You'll discover new reliefs. And it won't be forever that you can't drink. I think I saw a vacation coming up.......and so just cautioning you.......much better off abstaining from the alcohol now and for some time. Had to say it. I went with some herbal teas, mild ones, more yoga, walks, experimented with non-coffee coffee, etc. Make it an adventure. You won't miss the alcohol and you won't regret abstaining. L, P, H, and G, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus manymoretodays Posted October 17, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 17, 2022 How's Thor? Any updates? Hoping you are feeling okay, some pleasure and just normal existance. Or even some of that WDstability. L, P, H, and G, mmt Late 2023- gone to emeritus status, inactive, don't @ me, I can check who I've posted on, and I'm not really here like I used to be......thanks. Started with psycho meds/psychiatric care circa 1988. In retrospect, and on contemplation, situational overwhelm. Rounding up to 30 years of medications(30 medication trials, poly-pharmacy maximum was 3 at one time). 5/28/2015-off Adderal salts 2.5mg. (I had been on that since hospital 10/2014) 12/2015---just holding, holding, holding, with trileptal/oxcarb at 75 mg. 1/2 tab at hs. My last psycho med ever! Tapered @ 10% every 4 weeks, sometimes 2 weeks to 2016 Dec 16, medication free!! Longer signature post here, with current supplements. Herb and alcohol free since 5/15/2016. And.....I quit smoking 11/2021. Lapsed. Redo of quit smoking 9/28/2022. Can you say Hallelujah?(took me long enough)💜 None of my posts are intended as medical advice. Please discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical provider. My success story: Blue skies ahead, clear sailing Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 18, 2022 Author Share Posted October 18, 2022 Hi all, sorry for the radio silence. I’m interstate at the moment with limited reception so can’t connect my laptop. I have been recording daily symptoms etc and will post them all in one go when I can. Thanks!!! 1 Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 Hi all, Back home from a much needed holiday with family. Can't say I'm happy to be home but I figure most people feel like that when a holiday ends. I've been recording my dosing times and symptoms and thinking about moving forward with my tapers. I think I need to hold on everything for a couple of months until I'm fully stabilised. I'm then thinking about continuuing the hold on Lurasidone for a while and restarting the taper of clonazepam. Pretty keen to get off this medication as I believe it makes me confused and forgetful. Also pretty nervous about restarting this taper. In the past it went pretty well but I was protected by a higher dose of Lurasidone. That protection is no longer there with me being on such a low dose of Lurasidone. I'm keen on people's thoughts about this plan and will do some reading on this site about benzo tapers. I haven't been taking any dextroamphetamine at all which makes me happy. There is potential for me to have to take it occasionally for work but this will be a LAST RESORT and avoided if at all possible. If there's a way of doing the work without taking ANY dex then that is definitely preferable. Will have to see how I go, and hopefully, as I come off the clonazepam I won't ever need the dex again!!! Man I hope that is the case! I am SO over medication, psychiatry and much of the western medication model. I think if I can come off the clonazepam entirely it will feel like such a win as well. I really need that right now..... Anyway, here's my log for the recent couple of weeks. Windows and Waves.... Thanks everyone!!! Tuesday 11 Oct 0830 0.125mg clonazepam woke up early to a cortisol dump. Still feeling numb from the Lurasidone. Bit of trembling in limbs, slight sensation in head. Also some dizziness, difficulty focussing. Stressed about work stuff. 1300 0.125mg clonazepam. Have been experiencing some neuro emotions. Not TOO intense but there. Some dizziness at times 1500 (0.4ml CBD:THC). I get this strange sensation in my chest, like something hard and hot in the centre of my chest that keeps drawing my attention. It’s been present a lot over the last few months but had slowed down, but has come back since I tried the last drop of Lurasidone. Very disconcerting feeling. 1900 14mg Lurasidone 2230 0.125mg clonazepam Wednesday 12 Oct 0830 0.125mg clonazepam early wake up. Small cortisol dump 0900 actually feel human today. Couple of weeks holiday 1100 little bit of anxiety 1300 0.125mg clonazepam 1515 mild anxiety and dizziness. But stressed 1900 14mg Lurasidone 2230 0.125mg clonazepam Thursday -travelling for a holiday 13 Oct 0830 0.125mg clonazepam woke up early but no real cortisol dump. Stressed and anxious though 1300 0.125mg clonazepam 1430 stress and anxiety very high today. Have a lot on an 1600 anxiety reduced a bit 1700 anxiety increased. Seems to be in relation to what’s happening around me (on a flight) 1900 14mg Lurasidone 2200 0.125mg clonazepam Friday - 14 Oct Woke up early. Feel mildly stressed but ok so far. Bit of weakness in body. Maybe this is normal for me now? 0830 0.125mg clonazepam 1200 getting some neuroemotions. Feeling stressed when I don’t think I should. 1300 0.125mg clonazepam 1900 14 Lurasidone 2030 akathisia 2200 0.125mg clonazepam. Symptoms seemed to come in waves with some windows during the day. Saturday - 15 Oct Lots more socialising than I am used to 0830 0.125mg clonazepam. Sleep was reasonable 1000 some neuroemotions. Not overwhelming but strong. 1100 getting some spikes in anxiety. Different to how I have been experiencing it. Rather than consistent anxiety it will come in like a short sharp wave. 1300 0.125mg clonazepam 1900 14mg Lurasidone 2230 some occasional anxiety spikes and neuro emotions 0.125 mg clonazepam Sunday - holiday - 16 Oct 0830 - 0.125mg clonazepam low grade stress and anxiety. 1300 0.125mg clonazepam 1900 14mg Lurasidone experiencing neuro emotions. Hard to feel joy and happiness 2230 0.125mg clonazepam Monday 17 Oct Ok sleep 0830 0.125mg clonazepam 1300 0.125mg clonazepam. Feeling foggy, neuroemotions, stress, hard to feel happy despite being in a beautiful spot. Hard to know whether it’s me or meds. 1900 14mg Lurasidone apart from periods of neuro emotions reasonable good 2230 0.125mg clonazepam Tuesday 18 Oct Poor sleep but woke up feeling some happiness. Neuro emotions kicked in after a bit but tolerable 0830 0.125mg clonazepam 1300 0.125 mg clonazepam. Working hard to feel positive. It’s difficult to keep it up. 1430 neuro emotions have appeared less today. Less anxiety also. 1900 14mg Lurasidone 2130 Getting my some strong waves of fear. Strong churning in my stomach. Not sure what’s going on. I ate some sweet things which I wouldn’t normally have. Wonder if that’s it. 2200 0.125mg clonazepam. Been having some strong neuro fear Wednesday 19 Oct Good sleep, woke up with slight dread and stomach churning. Manageable. 0830 0.125mg clonazepam 1300 0.125mg clonazepam 1900 14mg Lurasidone 2230 0.125mg clonazepam Thursday 20 Oct Poor sleep 0830 0.125mg clonazepam 1300 0.125mg clonazepam 1900 14 mg Lurasidone 2230 0.125mg clonazepam Very few symptoms for the day Friday 21 Oct Ok sleep 0830 0.125 mg clonazepam 1000 mild sensations in head 1200 sensations in chest and head. Neuro emotions (anger/anxiety). From strong coffee?. Seem to be getting more windows? Less waves? 1300 0.125mg clonazepam. Getting some strong anxiety, fear and dread today. 1600 lost half a day to neuro emotions, stress and anxiety 1900 14mg Lurasidone 2130 0.125mg clonazepam Saturday 22 Oct Very poor sleep Some anxiety/dread this morning. Heading home from holidays 0830 0.125mg clonazepam 1212 getting waves of slight neuro emotions, anxiety and dizziness 1330 symptoms present but not severe 1600 0.125mg clonazepam 1900 14mg Lurasidone 2230 0.125mg clonazepam Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 I guess I should add that I'm experiencing mild PSSD I think..... Just no interest which is unusual for me. I get flashes of happiness and pleasure with life like i used to feel which I hope means these emotions will return fully one day. Overall there is a slow improvement in my life experience at the moment but this seems like such an overwhelming journey!!! With so much difficulty ahead. Occasionally I am able to imagine a world where I am off all medication and am experiencing joy and stability. Wonder if I'll ever get to that place..... Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 Also @Altostrata a while ago you mentioned that ideally I should take the clonazepam 12 hours apart but I was taking the lurasidone at 1900 which made that difficult. I can change the times I'm taking my meds so I could take clonazepam at 0830 and 2030 (with another dose in the middle) and shift the time I take my Lurasidone (currently 1900) to a later time maybe? Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 23, 2022 Administrator Share Posted October 23, 2022 Have you completely stopped drinking alcohol? This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 I have one or two here and there but that is it. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 I can’t seem to tolerate it very well anymore. I need some other way to get relief and blow off steam Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 23, 2022 Administrator Share Posted October 23, 2022 Correct, you cannot tolerate alcohol now and it messes up your symptom pattern. On 10/12/2022 at 11:26 PM, Altostrata said: If you keep drinking alcohol, there's no use in your posting daily notes. What we'd see is that the alcohol is affecting your symptom pattern. If you want peer support here, you cannot drink alcohol. Discussing any symptoms arising from that is a waste of our time. Please post your symptom pattern when you have not had any alcohol for 2 weeks. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 Ok Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 Just out of curiosity what does peer support entail? Management of symptoms? Advice on taper methods. I still don’t really understand? I’m willing to cut out all alcohol if it will help me. While I have never been an alcoholic I have used it to relax and blow off steam for most of my life. Stopping completely is a big shift in my life. I feel like so many good things are being taken away by these damn medications! Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 This journey is really difficult. Having been medicated from 16 I’m discovering as I reduce medication that I don’t know myself or my body very well. The way I experience emotions is really changing as I reduce medication. A very strange experience that I will write about soon. Very keen to know whether anyone else has experienced a change in the way their emotions feel. I’m also so much more aware of my body now. To the point of having some health anxiety which I’m trying to get on top of. When completely medicated I would just power through physical activities and even though I got tired it didn’t really bother me. Now my body lets me know very quickly and very loudly when it doesn’t like something. And it seems to be less tolerant than it used to be. In addition to coming off medication and all the changes and symptoms that go with that I’ve also been doing therapy for the first time in my life (for about 10 months now. I have significant childhood trauma). This involves sitting with very difficult feelings and sensations. I realise now that medicating my whole life was all about not feeling these emotions and accompanying sensations. It was all about feeling NOTHING. Or as little as possible. Then I could pick and choose the easier, simpler emotions and feel only them. Not a good way to live, not even really living I guess. Coming off medication requires SO much effort and energy and involves walking straight into the unknown and letting the darkness come to the surface. Then sitting with it. Making friends with it if you can. Sometimes I’m proud of how far I’ve come. Sometimes I’m terrified of how far I’ve got to go. I’m damn tired ALL the time though that’s for sure. Would definitely appreciate a kind word, a positive story of someone succeeding at this and confirmation that it’s all ok. Sorry if that sounds needy. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
itiscomplicated Posted October 23, 2022 Share Posted October 23, 2022 I'd say the point of cutting out all alcohol is that it interacts with all of the medications you take, and the effects can last days even from one drink. It's like adding another medication when you drink, and then, at best, no one can know anymore what's being caused by just the drugs or tapering/withdrawal. At worst, it could destabilize you more, and make everything harder. For me, on certain meds, just one beer would sometimes affect me for days afterwards: things like sleeping all day, or becoming very irritable. It is really frustrating, since though you'll see warnings to not drink alcohol with certain medications, most doctors, when asked, will say it's fine to have a drink or two. That's also a reason to keep stimulant and benzodiazepine use consistent every day, but yes, those drugs aren't always prescribed to be taken like that. I'd be careful with the combination you're on; I've experienced devastating effects, including delusions/psychosis (not something I've ever experienced before), from being on and then abruptly stopping a "cocktail" with two antidepressants, a stimulant, a benzo, and a "mood stabilizer." About Latuda - that was a very unpleasant drug for me to be on. It didn't do much at first, and eventually would cause dark, irritable depression symptoms about an hour after I took it. Then, akathisia (tapping my foot, progressing to my entire leg, eventually needing to pace). When I stopped taking it, though, I ended up simply switching to who knows what else, and it was already part of a "cocktail." 1 2003 - Ritalin, Vyvanse 2004 - Wellbutrin 2006 - Temazepam, possibly an antidepressant 2006 to present - testosterone cypionate, 100mg every 10 days 2008 - Clonazepam 2011 - Chantix, Adderall, Vyvanse, Lamictal 200mg 2012 - Lamictal 200mg, Wellbutrin 2013 - Lamictal 200mg, others 2014 - Lamictal 200mg, Latuda, Prozac, Clonazepam, Gabapentin, others 2015 on - Lamictal 200mg, Sapphris, Vraylar, Clonazepam, Lithium, Wellbutrin, Desipramine, Effexor, Adderall, Seroquel, Depakote, others, ECT 2018 to 2022 - medical cannabis for headaches 2022 (ended in March) - Lamictal 200mg, Wellbutrin XL 300mg, Adderall 15mg, Lexapro 5mg, Xanax 0.5mg (prn) Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 23, 2022 Administrator Share Posted October 23, 2022 If you want peer support to go off your drugs, you'll have to eliminate any symptom confounders, such as drinking alcohol, or we cannot monitor potential withdrawal symptoms properly. Sorry for the inconvenience. If you want to continue drinking, you can hang out here, but the staff won't get involved in coaching you through a tapering process. This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 23, 2022 Author Share Posted October 23, 2022 I'll stop drinking any alcohol. I'd rather get off the meds than have a drink. @itiscomplicated sorry you had such a hard time. I definitely won't be abruptly stopping anything. I plan on going VERY slowly....... Latuda is a horrible drug isn't it. It hasn't been good for me. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 24, 2022 Author Share Posted October 24, 2022 Arrived home from my family holiday (which was lovely apart from minor withdrawal symptoms) at 4.30 am after a MASSIVE day of travel. Rested for the day. Got up this morning and had a difficult therapy session and was absolutely wrecked afterwards! All my stamina gone! I tried to read reports for work but my brain wouldn’t concentrate. Although looking back at my life I’m sure I have ADHD, I fully believe long term benzo use has made me SIGNIFICANTLY worse! I’m down to a very low dose of clonazepam now but not off completely. I don’t want to use the dextroamphetamine I’ve been prescribed but not sure how I can do my job without it until my brain heals after completely stopping clonazepam! I have kids, rent etc….. it was lovely on holidays. I didn’t take dextroamphetamine once. I didn’t have to focus on anything and could just let my mind wander where it wanted. I’ll try coffee first if I can’t concentrate (I’ve cut that back A LOT. I do not use it every day). But if that doesn’t do the job I may have to try the dex again. With the goal of coming off the clonazepam and then stopping dex entirely when I can think again. I’m open to other thoughts on this. I REALLY don’t want to take the dex of there are other options. At the moment changing jobs is not an option although I will consider this in the future if I have to. on a side note. I’m reading peoples stories here and am so impressed by their strength and resilience. So many have been through hell and they DO NOT GIVE UP. I have great admiration for you all! Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 24, 2022 Author Share Posted October 24, 2022 What does everyone do to feel good? I’m going to try quitting drinking (I’m not a massive drinker but will frequently have one or two). It’s time to stop completely for a while. But what to replace it with?????? Open to trying almost anything. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
conkaia Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 6 minutes ago, Thorin said: What does everyone do to feel good? I’m going to try quitting drinking (I’m not a massive drinker but will frequently have one or two). It’s time to stop completely for a while. But what to replace it with?????? Open to trying almost anything. I stopped drinking 7 weeks ago. Replacing it with going walks in nature and alcohol free mocktails if I'm out. It sucks but needs must. 1 August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 24, 2022 Author Share Posted October 24, 2022 You had me until ‘it sucks’ 😅. Do you go out often? Is it still fun if you’re not drinking? I don’t go out that often anymore but I admit I miss it at times. I will go out for dinner occasionally and have always enjoyed a few drinks with dinner. It will be hard to stop that I think. The walking is good isn’t it. I started walking and even jogging occasionally about 2 months ago. It always makes me feel a bit better, if not always ‘good’. Yesterday I was experiencing some very strong anxiety and after a short jog the anxiety receded significantly. I was then able to address some of the emotions that were making me anxious. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
conkaia Posted October 24, 2022 Share Posted October 24, 2022 3 hours ago, Thorin said: You had me until ‘it sucks’ 😅. Do you go out often? Is it still fun if you’re not drinking? I don’t go out that often anymore but I admit I miss it at times. I will go out for dinner occasionally and have always enjoyed a few drinks with dinner. It will be hard to stop that I think. The walking is good isn’t it. I started walking and even jogging occasionally about 2 months ago. It always makes me feel a bit better, if not always ‘good’. Yesterday I was experiencing some very strong anxiety and after a short jog the anxiety receded significantly. I was then able to address some of the emotions that were making me anxious. Lol. I haven't really been OUT out since I stopped drinking. Although I did go to a concert last month and hated every minute of it; I felt really self conscious. But that's more down to withdrawal, as I wouldn't have felt like that out sober normally. I have been out for dinner and would normally enjoy a couple of drinks. I find it easier to skip that than to skip drinking at bars or clubs. Exercise really does help me. I have noticed feeling better and being able to feel more rational after I've exercised. Its just so draining having to deal with this on top of other stressors in my life. I feel so angry about whats happened to me this year August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
Administrator Altostrata Posted October 25, 2022 Administrator Share Posted October 25, 2022 On 10/24/2022 at 3:27 AM, conkaia said: I stopped drinking 7 weeks ago. Replacing it with going walks in nature and alcohol free mocktails if I'm out. It sucks but needs must. The best idea! Enjoy the forest bathing. "Forest bathing" reduces cortisol, aids mood, immune system The importance of recognizing you're feeling good @Thorin you don't have to have ADHD to feel "cog fog" from benzos. That's a common adverse effect of the drugs, as it is from lurasidone. Occasional use of dextroamphetamine will also confound your symptom pattern, should you have withdrawal symptoms. 2 This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner. "It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein All postings © copyrighted. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 26, 2022 Author Share Posted October 26, 2022 Hi Alto, 10 hours ago, Altostrata said: @Thorin you don't have to have ADHD to feel "cog fog" from benzos. That's a common adverse effect of the drugs, as it is from lurasidone. I have been managing not to take the dex and have been doing ok without it actually. It seems to vary from day to day. Does the clarity return once you cease taking the clonazepam and lurasidone? Feeling reasonable today and very hesitant to put anything in my system that may upset that. Cheers Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 26, 2022 Author Share Posted October 26, 2022 On 10/25/2022 at 1:25 AM, conkaia said: Exercise really does help me. I have noticed feeling better and being able to feel more rational after I've exercised. Its just so draining having to deal with this on top of other stressors in my life. I feel so angry about whats happened to me this year I know what you mean about the anger. On top of the neuro emotions I am livid at the doctor that did all this to me. And disgusted that I just took him at his word. I assumed he knew best because he was a 'professional'. No the meds are causing me hell and it will likely take years to come off them completely. Plus recovery time after that (who knows how long that will take). I am trying to use this time to better myself so when I'm finally off the meds I'll be better than I ever was. I'm exercising, eating healthy, trying to find things I enjoy that don't involve putting alcohol etc in my body. I am slowly improving and I can see that some times, but when the waves come I fear that I'm stuck like that, or maybe that's me off meds..... But it never is. I always improve in time. I've had a few real scares coming off these meds though and that trauma seems to stay with me. Keep doing the things that make you feel good. And the things that should make you feel good but don't because of the withdrawals? Do them too because eventually they'll start to feel good as well. That's what I've been finding anyway. 1 Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 26, 2022 Author Share Posted October 26, 2022 I'm so frustrated. I now realise that when the doctor first put me on Xanax to treat anxiety, the anxiety was a symptom of withdrawal from Effexor. 16 years I've been on benzos because of that doctor! I would raise my concerns about being on benzos with the doctor repeatedly and he would calmly and patiently tell me "I wasn't addicted' and 'as long as I didn't eat them like lollies it was fine'. I was VERY addicted..... for many years! I never abused them, just followed instructions like a good patient. But I was very addicted. And I'm still not completely off them! I wish there was some way I could hold this doctor to account for his arrogance and ignorance. It would be bittersweet to see him pay for the damage he's doing to many, many people. Where to direct my anger??????? Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
conkaia Posted October 26, 2022 Share Posted October 26, 2022 6 hours ago, Thorin said: I know what you mean about the anger. On top of the neuro emotions I am livid at the doctor that did all this to me. And disgusted that I just took him at his word. I assumed he knew best because he was a 'professional'. No the meds are causing me hell and it will likely take years to come off them completely. Plus recovery time after that (who knows how long that will take). I am trying to use this time to better myself so when I'm finally off the meds I'll be better than I ever was. I'm exercising, eating healthy, trying to find things I enjoy that don't involve putting alcohol etc in my body. I am slowly improving and I can see that some times, but when the waves come I fear that I'm stuck like that, or maybe that's me off meds..... But it never is. I always improve in time. I've had a few real scares coming off these meds though and that trauma seems to stay with me. Keep doing the things that make you feel good. And the things that should make you feel good but don't because of the withdrawals? Do them too because eventually they'll start to feel good as well. That's what I've been finding anyway. I completely identify with everything you've said. I've been traumatised by adverse effects of medication before (see my signature) and this has triggered me big time. I fear I'll never get over this but I need to have faith in my body's ability to heal. I can see improvement but its certainly a long slog and its very difficult to detach from intrusive thoughts at times. Another thing I've got into is cold water dips in nature. I live in Scotland so this is a challenge, as the water is freezing and I don't like being cold! But I figure nothing is as bad as the hell of withdrawal and the achievement is def rewarding August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 26, 2022 Author Share Posted October 26, 2022 10 hours ago, conkaia said: Another thing I've got into is cold water dips in nature. I've been trying to do this in conjunction with breathwork, Have a look at Wim Hof. I can only handle short cold showers but there's a local group that does ice baths. I'm struggling with the inconsistency in how i'm feeling. I can go from not functioning/barely able to work or drive to sort of ok in a 24 hour period. Then back again. For a few months there I could hardly function and didn't know what was going on. I could barely have a conversation with people and just lay on my bed all the time. That slowly improved but never got to 100%. I then tried to drop down a small amount (greater than 10%) of my main medication and hit the ground bad. Reinstated and joined this group at the same time and then learned that what was happening was withdrawal. I have two medications to come off and they're two of the worst. I'm down from 40mg of Lurasidone to 14 mg and holding and I have 0.375 mg of clonazepam left. It's going to take such a long time to come off. Sometimes I don't think I can do it. Sometimes I'm SURE I can't do it. But you push on because you have people that need you. How does the cold water seem to help? Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 27, 2022 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 On 10/26/2022 at 6:28 AM, Altostrata said: Occasional use of dextroamphetamine will also confound your symptom pattern, should you have withdrawal symptoms. I most definitely have symptoms. The worst seems to be a weird sensation starting in my chest and radiating out through my whole body. Maybe low-moderate level akathisia? I'm only guessing that's what it is. Sometimes this sensation gets the better of me and I think I can't take it anymore. Low dose CBD:THC and movement seems to help. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Thorin Posted October 27, 2022 Author Share Posted October 27, 2022 Ok, so after doing a deep dive I now understand that my most difficult withdrawal symptom to tolerate is actually akathisia. The deep dread, strange sensation starting in my chest and radiating through my entire body. The need to stretch and contract my muscles, the desire to scream to get it out of me. It’s horrific. I used to experience it as a direct side effect of taking Lurasidone but it didn’t come with the dread and was much easier to tolerate. I just had the urge to constantly move my legs and body at times. It’s changed now. While I don’t have the urge to move to the point that I can’t help it, it’s so difficult to tolerate that at times I’d do anything to make it stop. I’m glad I have a family that need me around as an incentive to push through. Sometimes it’s too much. Conversely, sometimes I have an ok day. Notice I don’t say a good day. They’re not really happening. But I’ll take an ok day gladly at the moment. Age 16 (1995 - 2000) -Paroxetine Age 21 (2000-2004) - Effexor 37.5mg Age 24 (2004-2012) - Lexapro (70mg), Xanax minimum 2mg Xanax a day About 32 (2012-2017?) - Every mood stabiliser under the sun (not at the same time) and minimum 2mg Xanax a day; occasional amisulpride About 35 (2017-current) - Lurasidone 80 mg, quickly titrated down to 40mg, Pristiq (50 mg), minimum of 2mg Xanax a day About 41 (2020) Switched from Xanax to clonazepam and started tapering at 0.125 mg each reduction, tapered off Pristiq with a cross taper at the end, low dose of dextroamphetamine. Age 42 (2021) Tried to taper off Lurasidone three times. Quick taper from 40mg to 0 mg over a couple of months the first time. Reinstated at 20mg. Tried twice more to taper from 20 mg to 0 mg dropping by 5 mg each reduction (about every 2 weeks). Age 42-43 (April 2022) 20mg-18mg; May 18mg-16mg; June 16-14mg; September 14-12mg; September 12-14mg reinstated. February 2023 - hiccup with brand change, Back to Apotek brand and switch to homemade suspension. Age 44 (August 2023 -restarted clonazepam taper). Start dose 0.375mg. 1/9/2023 - 0.365mg; 1/10/2023 - 0.324mg; 1/11/2023 - 0.264mg; 1/12/2023 - 0.25 mg (holding); 1/2/2024 - 0.232mg; 1/3/2024 - 0.221mg; 1/4/2024 - 0.205mg; Health regimen: walks, hot/cold showers, ice baths, breathwork, mostly healthy diet, therapy...... Open to ideas! Supplements: Milk Kefir, Mag, Omega 3, CBD/THC. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus ChessieCat Posted October 27, 2022 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted October 27, 2022 Your new topic has been moved to an existing topic here: for-people-who-were-drugged-as-children * NO LONGER ACTIVE on SA * MISSION ACCOMPLISHED: (6 year taper) 0mg Pristiq on 13th November 2021 ADs since ~1992: 25+ years - 1 unknown, Prozac (muscle weakness), Zoloft; citalopram (pooped out) CTed (very sick for 2.5 wks a few months after); Pristiq: 50mg 2012, 100mg beg 2013 (Serotonin Toxicity) Tapering from Oct 2015 - 13 Nov 2021 LAST DOSE 0.0025mg Post 0 updates start here My tapering program My Intro (goes to tapering graph) VIDEO: Antidepressant Withdrawal Syndrome and its Management Link to comment
conkaia Posted October 28, 2022 Share Posted October 28, 2022 On 10/26/2022 at 11:54 PM, Thorin said: I've been trying to do this in conjunction with breathwork, Have a look at Wim Hof. I can only handle short cold showers but there's a local group that does ice baths. I'm struggling with the inconsistency in how i'm feeling. I can go from not functioning/barely able to work or drive to sort of ok in a 24 hour period. Then back again. For a few months there I could hardly function and didn't know what was going on. I could barely have a conversation with people and just lay on my bed all the time. That slowly improved but never got to 100%. I then tried to drop down a small amount (greater than 10%) of my main medication and hit the ground bad. Reinstated and joined this group at the same time and then learned that what was happening was withdrawal. I have two medications to come off and they're two of the worst. I'm down from 40mg of Lurasidone to 14 mg and holding and I have 0.375 mg of clonazepam left. It's going to take such a long time to come off. Sometimes I don't think I can do it. Sometimes I'm SURE I can't do it. But you push on because you have people that need you. How does the cold water seem to help? I've heard of Win Hof, I need to look into his stuff. To be perfectly honest, the cold water doesn't do anything for the symptoms. But it does help me feel better for managing to challenge myself. WD really is a rollercoaster; I can vouch for that. I'm still trying to stabilise on 2mg Cipralex and I don't intend touching it for at least six months after I stabilise. Its going to take me years to get off the remaining dose too and I feel really frustrated about being in this position. There's been times in the past five months that I've felt suicidal due to the severity of the psychological symptoms. But as you say, I have people that need me and I would never act on those feelings. I guess we just need to hang in there and keep telling ourselves WE CAN DO THIS. August 2004: Citalopram 20mg for "postnatal anxiety". May-Sept 2011: Adverse reaction to the contraceptive pill, causing severe anxiety and panic. Was switched from 7 years on Citalopram to Lofepramine briefly, then Mirtazapine 30mg. Was an anxious, depressed, suicidal wreck and got misdiagnosed with GAD by a psychiatrist. I now realise my symptoms were all medication related, as opposed to so-called psychiatric diagnosis. October 2011: Pregabalin 450mg and propranolol 40mg TID added by psychiatrist. Feb 2013: Tapered off pregabalin 450mg; stopped propranolol. July 2013: Switched from Mirtazapine 30mg to Cipralex 10mg in a two-week cross titration, which caused horrific withdrawal symptoms lasting months. April 2015: Increased to 15mg Cipralex. 2017: Was treated by a clinical psychologist for medication-related trauma and slowly tapered down to 2mg Cipralex over the next four years. December 2021: Switched from Cipralex tablets to drops to facilitate further tapering; this caused withdrawal reaction lasting approx 6 weeks. May 2022: Experienced severe withdrawal reaction after inadvertently taking expired drops. 3rd June 2022: Reinstated 2mg Cipralex drops. Stabilisation hindered by drinking alcohol socially; didn't realise impact of this. Nil alcohol since September 2022. Supplements: Cycling Magnesium, Omega 3, Evening Primrose, Vitamin D3, Vitamin C, Vitamin B Complex, Zinc, Ashwagandha, Sage. Had been taking these prior to withdrawal incident. Feb 2023: Relatively stable and aiming to hold on 2mg Cipralex and with a view to tapering down in 2024. Tapered off Ashwagandha. Link to comment
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