Gonzo: Sertraline 50mg chaos and withdrawal

[Gonzo]

Well, first post of the year. My situation is overall the same as before, "low functioning". My body aged a lot faster these last months, which worry me very much, but I'm hopeful that it's related to various factors and that I can revert it at least in big part. I also have become much more insightful of my life, suffering and all this process than when I made this post. I'm grateful that the withdrawal community exists to offer support, understanding and guidance through all this mess, but at the same time I learned that it falls short in some aspects, that it is too focused in the physical/biological aspect of it and not so much in the emotional/trauma part.

 

It is well known that many many users of mental health services are victims of severe trauma, that's why trauma informed approaches to mental care were created, because there was a need and they were a logical next step. Talking about myself, I was very traumatized even before I got in contact with psychiatry at the age of 20, which only reinforced my previous and already complex trauma adding more layers to it.

 

This article explains it very, very well:

 

https://www.mediafire.com/?c2hd3cwrr3wc3r5

 

In my opinion, to overcome trauma is to able to rest, which is what the body and mind naturally want to do when is traumatized, and which leads to drug intake in a lot of cases to feel some kind of physical and emotional relief. Because the body and mind likes balance (and it finds it one way or another), and when a person is traumatized is in a chronic state of stress/fight-flight mode (post-traumatic stress).

 

You overcome trauma when you identify it, give meaning to it, find validation for your trauma and accept it, because we are meaning-making self-consciouss creatures, we need meaning, to understand, to find relief. All of that being in a safe place. Trauma is a survival mechanism after all.

 

Psychiatry, being 100% not trauma informed, but the opposite, doesn't allow you to heal your trauma (the psychpathological paradigm that tells that your feelings, behaviors, reactions, thoughts, etc, are "abnormal", "illogical", "irrational", "makes no sense", which is gaslighting, so it reinforces the trauma). First, it blocks/suppress emotions through drugs. Second, it doesn't give meaning to internal experiences other than they're "abnormal", "illogical", "dangerous", "dysfunctional", so you can't never recover due to blocking the natural meaning-making and validation process.

 

Of course nothing makes sense when you ignore a person life story and context, its environment, etc.

 

If you can't never identify your trauma, or the situation that lead you to this, if you can't give it meaning, make the changes that you need to do in yourself, in your environment (specially when trapped in very traumatizing/toxic environments), or of environment, if you can't find validation for your experiences and suffering, to your trauma, if you get into the psychiatric hopeless psychopathological mindset, then you can't rest and you become a chronic patient of mental health services, falling in a treatment trap as Sami Timimi says.

 

I came here looking for insight, meaning, and validation.

 

When the withdrawal happens, people like me, already traumatized, get in contact with emotions that you are not able to understand, to give meaning, to see their logic. Overwhelming, very distressing and confusing emotions/internal experiences that almost no one helps you to make sense of. Again, that's what lead me to this website.

 

It's a matter of understanding what happened, you gotta give meaning to all you went through all over the years, to your emotions, to your feelings, to your reactions, to your behaviors, to your thoughts, to get out of the toxic, oppresive and alienating psychiatric psychopathology mindset, that blocks that healing process.

 

You need validation for all what you went through, it's what we naturally do as humans beings, looking for validation and understanding, meaning and connection, to share the load, we are not supposed to do it all alone, by ourselves. And it's a very painful and exhausting process.

 

So it's much more than just physical symptoms for some people. Learning that you were just disconnected for years, that nothing really improved, not inside of you at least. That's the confusion, being drugged you thought you were doing great when in fact you were just drugged, it's what Peter Breggin calls medical spellbinding. Then you stop the drug and everything comes back and you're shocked, confused, unable to understand, unequiped to go through it again, weakened after not making any effort or very little to face the pain by yourself having being emotionally and mentally numbed for years, disconnected, sedated, high, whatever, mislead, lied to.

 

Not only psychiatry ignored my trauma, even when I told the psychiatrist that diagnosed me with OCD that I thought I had PTSD (because of nightmares, flashbacks, etc), it also betrayed me (betrayal trauma) when it didn't tell me what I needed to know about Sertraline, he oppressed and alienated me further.

 

I just disconnected from trauma, for so long and so effectively because of Sertraline that I even forgot that it was there in the first place so everything stopped making sense to me for years as well.

 

If it's trauma, if it's in the environment, there is hope for recovery, because there is possible change, if it's all in the brain then we are hopeless as psychiatry wants us to be, silent, and drugged, some people get rich and powerful that way.

 

We need hope to live a good life!

[Gonzo]

These first two weeks have been extremely exhausting from me, which I see as a sign of trauma processing. I'm more connected that I've been for the past 3 years at least, to myself, to reality. It's still very overwhelming, I have the body of a 27 years old man but my mind and life got stuck in the past, they're not up to date. That is very disturbing for me. It's less disturbing now than in 2023 because I can manage it better, but it doesn't feel good at all.

 

I forgot how to function without Sertraline, how to deal with my pain, my trauma, my emotions, I lost all tolerance to distressing feelings and internal experiences and I lost my healthy coping skills, that's what happened to me. I've been psychologically disarmed to deal with life for the past 7 years.

 

At this point, since feb-march 2017, I've been out of Sertraline for the same amount of time I've been taking it, three and half years. I now realize that I lost all meaning when I was involuntary commited, I just couldn't know it and feel it back then because I was drugged and high.

 

All my withdrawal has been a very painful and exhausting process of coming back to reality and trauma processing. Recently my father got diagnosed with cancer, he is already in chemo. It's making me more consciouss of the past of time and I feel the presence of death like never before in my life, not because he is terminal, which is not, but because it's a severe disease and how many years have passed, I'm not going to live forever, just as him.

 

When I took Sertraline and I was high I felt as if I had all the time in the world, like if time was not a big deal, I also felt like that until 2022, when I was in withdrawal. I think it damaged my time perception, it distorted it. The years were passing by and I just didn't realize it. Sertraline made me forget about my trauma and life problems for years, it did it so well that I thought it was all once for all in the past. That's how good Sertraline worked for me. But it wasn't. I was just numbed, sedated, disconnected, drunk. It confused me, it's what Peter Breggin calls medical spellbinding.

 

https://drstankovich.com/the-dangers-of-medication-spellbinding-and-mental-health/

 

To realize all that is to feel the pain. Very painful. And exhausting. I had a second crash a few months after when my withdrawal started, in 2021, during a traumatic breakup, everything stopped making sense to me again, my reality collapsed, I lost all meaning, my identity, once more, everything became extremely confusing, but even then I still tried to keep the mentality/perception I had when I was high taking Sertraline and high as long as I could. It crashed again in 2023. That's what psychiatry did for me.

 

I've been disconnected from reality for too many years and I just can't keep running away from it.

[Dahlia50]

Hi, I feel the same with time perception and disconnected from reality. You described it wellI. Identify with most things. Sertralin crash. Didnt realize I was taking a drug. Which changed me as a person without me realizing it myself. 
Sincerely 🙏

[Gonzo]

I'm sorry you identify with what I told here but I hope it helps you to validate what you went/are going through, it's a normal experience and you're not the only one. I learned that validation and searching for meaning are extremely important for healing to happen and to happen faster.

 

I also realized how much of hope and passion I lost with Sertraline and psychiatry overall. When I was involuntary hospitalized, in that place I lost hope for recovery, because of how badly I was treated, so oppressed and alienated, humiliated. I wasn't even able to acknowledge that because I was high and disconnected from my real emotions for years, I even thought I was improving, I was just confused by the drug, suffering medical spellbinding.

 

Now I realize that I need to recover that flame again, the lost passion.

[Gonzo]

First post of february... I'm seeing things more clearly, I feel more stable emotionally and mentally, more peaceful.

 

These last days I realized some of the mistakes I made years ago, when I was 19, the moment I got introduced in psychiatric stuff.

 

I was suffering PTS symptoms, Flashbacks, nightmares, anger attacks, deep fear, terror feelings, etc, and it developed into a personal/existential/meaning crisis, I could not understand none of that, I felt like if they were all coming from my past overwhelming me and my present life but like for no logical reason, and I needed to be functional, I felt a lot of pressure to be functional, which I couldn't because of said symptoms, so I started looking for answers, meaning and knowledge, the logic behind these distressing inner experiences, for those problems, in the psychiatric meaning framework, that I thought was scientific, objective, rational, etc, but it was just a scam, I just was ignorant, naïve, because I was scammed, betrayed, like millions of others.

 

For the next 7-8 years I believed in all that bullsh*t as a mean to solve my issues. I didn't realize I was abducted by that psychiatric meaningless and toxic meaning framework, trapped in its ideology, brainwashed, indoctrinated, because I couldn't see its scam and because I was drugged and confused, chemically deceived, suppressed, and lied to by the doctors, recovery for me was impossible because of those reasons.

 

Psychiatry is a cult like belief system, like a sect or a religion, it was so many holes that it just becomes illogical but people still believes in it because as a meaning system is necessary for lots of people and because psychiatry is powerful, it has a lot of economic support and it mimics science and medicine even if it's just pseudoscience, scientificism and all about psychotropic drugs use and abuse, even if their diagnoses lack reliability and scientific validity, not being even close to medical diagnoses, and above everything else psychiatry is need to protect what is considered culturally and socially "normal".

 

It's a ******* mess.

 

I was seducted and abducted by this sect called psychiatry, brainwashed, indoctrinated and trapped for years in its treatments traps, to the point I lost all meaning in my life beyond its meaning framework.

 

I'm still lost, but it feels good to see things differently, I feel free, more than before at least.

 

The evidence supporting the dangers of psychiatric drugs, their lack of utility for medium and long term users, the bad outcomes of the biomedical model of mental health, and the link between mental health issues and environmental factors and trauma is far far stronger that all the psychiatric bullsh*t theories about the brain, and yet still we ignore all that.

 

I'm glad I'm slowly, even if very slowly, starting to be myself again, because I feel like if I have lost 8+ years of my life abducted by a sect and I'm one of the lucky ones that managed to get out of it.

 

I have so many layers of trauma, even before psychiatry, psychiatric intervention added like 50% more layers to my already complex trauma, that's what it did for me.

 

It took me years to start recovering meaning and to make sense of my difficult life experiences, inner and external experiences, almost no one helped me to do that, because almost everyone is too traumatized to help others deal with their traumas, people get offended and triggered easily, they attack you, they judge you, they gaslight you.

 

Psychiatry says that protracted withdrawal basically doesn't exist, for example, Sertraline withdrawal doesn't exist for psychiatry, so, how to find validation (that do wonders to speed up the recovery process) then when you are suffering protracted withdrawal and confused? Only in places like these.

 

I ended up in psychiatry by myself because of how confused, desperate, oppressed, alienated, isolated and traumatized I was, and psychiatry preyed on me, like sects do, it made dependant of it, weaker, dumber, unhealthier.

 

Not just psychiatry prey on people like me, but the whole MH system/industry, which follows the same core principles, values, beliefs and mindset blindly.

 

I can not describe with words yet how confused and brainwashed I've been, specially how much confusion I experienced when my withdrawal started.

 

There is definitely hope for recovery but man, that road has so many obstacles.

 

[DillyDally]

Im so sorry for what you’ve been through. You articulated this so well, I can relate so so much and it is helpful to see your words of TRUTH so clear and eloquently written out like this. I know you will continue to move forward, to heal.

I am rooting for you.

[Gonzo]

Thanks DillyDally, at this point, I writte all this to let know people that withdrawal can be much more than just adverse and side effects of psych drugs/meds, that it can be a return to an ugly and painful reality.

 

I'm getting stronger, it has been a very slow process.

 

I hope you are doing well and everyone else reading this.

[DillyDally]

2 minutes ago, Gonzo said:

Thanks DillyDally, at this point, I writte all this to let know people that withdrawal can be much more than just adverse and side effects of psych drugs/meds, that it can be a return to an ugly and painful reality.

I agree. The truth does set you free, but freedom comes at a price.

I am so grateful for this community, if this is the world we live in, these are the people who’s experiences, views and truths matter the most to me, that bring me the most comfort.

thank you for sharing. 
 

I am glad you feel you are getting stronger, it is painfully slow, but better for us to be moving slowly in the right direction than still trapped in the wrong one like we had been.

[Gonzo]

Yeah, I couldn't agree more, 100% true, sometimes I miss how I felt when I took Sertraline, I was younger too but I felt like if I had all the time in the world and as if I was going to be young forever. Withdrawal made me wake up, suddenly, I a way that I couldn't understand or process. Cold turkey'ing Sertraline has been one of the worst mistakes of my life, but the truth is I was already living in lalaland for too long without even realizing because I was disconnected, high, numbed, whatever, and no one told me about it. I wish everything was smoother. There is no break form reality. My break was called Sertraline and was fake.

 

There is no deep recovery and true rest following an individualistic psychopathological paradigm/mindset/meaning framework such as psychiatry and mainstream Western psychology, because emotional validation and true human connection is impossible without understanding, and to understand we need to know other people's context and feel compassion, the result is that the only rest comes from drug intake, being legal such as psych drugs or illegal.

 

Our (Western) society is deeply individualistic and radically believes in psychiatry and psychology, so is deeply traumatized and doesn't even know how to deal with trauma anymore except for doing drugs (one of the reasons why everyone is taking psych drugs these days), it's like healing trauma has become some kind of forgotten ancient knowledge.

 

Mainstream Western psychology and psychiatry is too individualistic, too simplistic, too focused on individuals, genetics and biology, it's a cult like pseudscientific belief system full of **** and no one except their victims and some folks seem to realize it.

 

To realize all the years I lost because of psychiatry lies and corruption... There is no scientific knowledge there, there no true solutions, no truth, it's just all about taking psychoative drugs, suppressing emotions, reactions, numbing down the psychic pain, getting high so you become more functional in this highly competitive society... This is what psychiatry is about. It's all a scam, a deception, it looks shinny at first but if you look closer it's all rotten.

 

I was suffering flashbacks, traumatic emotions that I couldn't understand, and sadly I came to the worst place looking for answers, meaning, scientific knowledge, solutions, to psychiatry. Because I couldn't find answers, meaning, scientific knowledge and solutions for my flashbacks and traumatic emotions they overwhelmed me and I got worse and worse and worse.

 

Sertraline gave me a break for 3 years, it deceived me during that time, it was a false solution but no one told me and I didn't know, I was disconnected, high, numbed, and it looked like I was getting better, for a time it felt lime that, but it ended badly with my cold turkey withdrawal.

 

I was just scammed, confused, deceived, lied to, thanks to psychiatry and its drug.

 

People need to wake up, I'm not even against drugs for the most part, but against lack of informed consent and these scummy doctors and psychologists.

[Gonzo]

I was just scammed, confused, deceived, lied to, thanks to psychiatry and its drug, for years!!! And even when the deception came to an end I couldn't understand reality, no one was helping me to make sense of what happened to me and to make sense of the present time reality.

 

And during withdrawal I made the same mistake for a time of looking for their help, of psychiatrists and psychologists, I truly was trapped in that meaning framework/mindset, abducted by that ******* sect!!

 

I thought and felt no one could understand and help me but them. It's like a sect!! It isolates people, people that really need help, human connection, understanding, compassion, validation, to feel safe, etc, then it oppress, control and alienates said vulnerable people, even further, through psychiatric "treatments" that can last a whole life, sometimes being forced, in and out of psychiatric facilities, etc.

 

Why people can't see how frequently all this happen in our society??? Everyone wants to believe that psychiatry is there to help people but it isn't!!!! It exists to keep the social order, to keep the Status Quo, to make people work non stop, to indoctrinate and brainwash, to control people (thoughts, behaviors, reactions, feelings) and to make money selling drugs and creating new mental health industry (chronic) consumers, not to help anyone to recover, because it simply and deliberately ignores trauma!! Individual, collective and intergenerational trauma.

 

It's all so infuriating.

[checco]

Gonzo I made the same mistake as you I sought help just for some anxiety and fatigue and things got at least 10 times worse, I no longer seek their help if so we can call it ,I still have some bad moments but as you say I'm stronger than a short time ago and this helps me in everything. 

[Gonzo]

Sorry to hear that checco, I hope we all heal our psychological wounds soon. I no longer seek their "help" either.

[Gonzo]

These last days I feel like I'm getting over the brainwashing finally. I feel like I was trained, indoctrinated... to see my inner experiences through psychiatric psychopathological lens, my thoughts, behaviors, reactions, feelings/emotions... To see them as meaningless and dangerous. It's the only meaning framework that I had for the past 8 years of my life, I couldn't make any different sense of my experiences other than that. So once I leave that mindset I don't have anything to replace it, I have to rebuild the way I see myself and reality all over again, to find new meaning. It's exciting. I feel free, even if I'm still scared and I have huge challenges ahead. I truly was brainwashed, abducted by psychiatry, trying for years to understand solve my problems through the psychiatric meaning framework (its paradigm, its way to see human distress and experiences, in a meaningless way that its designed to lead to psychiatric drugs use and behaviors, thoughts, feelings, reactions, etc, suppression, inner and external suppression, for psychiatry they don't have meaning and purpose and they must be suppressed/eliminated because they're signs of pathology) and I was not able to realize that it was all bullsh*t, that it was making me suffer, a slave, that it was not helping me, that it was the problem. Psychiatry is a sect, it mimics science and medicine, but it's a sect, a pseudoscientific belief system that loves psych drugs. I clung to psychiatric promises and meaning framework because I was desperate and once I got abducted by it there was no turning back, it was the only meaning framework that I had, the only way to see and understand the world and my experiences, totally replacing my pre psychiatry personal meaning framework/mindset. I guess the damage it caused to me was specially severe because I was carrying a lot of trauma so I was very vulnerable.

 

It seems like this is the beginning of the end of this sh*tty road

[Gonzo]

I went to Surviving antideppresants website because I wanted to make sense of my experience, which was overwhelming.

 

The moment I stopped Sertraline (cold turkey) I got into an emotional chaos and confusion that even today it's hard to describe.

 

When my cold turkey withdrawal started I had a kind of "relationship" with a girl and for different reasons it didn't end well, but in a very traumatic breakup for me, she was emotionally unstable, neglectful, irresponsible and abusive, in my opinion, she was pretty narcissistic, and I was out of control, sometimes abusive too, I did my best to control myself but sometimes it wasn't enough.

 

I met her when I was taking Sertraline so it was a different circumstance than when I stopped taking it cold turkey.

 

The chaos and confusion I got into during withdrawal was one of the reasons that breakup happened, but not the only one.

 

I blamed myself for what happened during the breakup event, even for her abusive behaviors, because I was so confused, and deeply traumatized, for the breakup event and process and all that happened in my life during and after psychiatry.

 

It was not possible for me to make sense of my experiences, I was so emotionally overwhelmed.

 

Even then I managed to function more or less for almost two years, I studied, I socialized, I lived the best I could, until I couldn't function no more, until my reality finally collapsed in 2023.

 

Now I understand that chaos. So in 2015 those flashbacks (emotional type complex trauma flashbacks) were overwhelming and I couldn't make sense of them, but the MADE sense, I just wasn't able to understand them, and I needed to control those postraumatic reactions, so, sadly, I got into psychiatry, through mainstream psychology, searching for answers, meaning, solutions, scientific knowledge, for the objective truth of my experiences, I needed to function, to study, to socialize, I wanted to, and those postraumatic reactions weren't allowing me to.

 

Then, the more I got into psychiatry stuff the more abducted I was, the more obsessive and trapped in its toxic meaning framework, the more confused and the worse everything got for me, it was a huge scam but I couldn't realize it, I was too desperate, confused ans overwhelmed by my postraumatic reactions (flashbacks), until after more than one year of isolation I was totally overwhelmed and the involuntary hospitalization happened (court ordered, so it was basically an arrest, I was treated like a criminal for being in a disturbed mental and emotional state, for being traumatized, even if I hurt no one and I was looking for help and validation).

 

There I was heavily gaslighted, psychiatry said that none of my behaviors, reactions, feelings, thoughts, etc, made sense, that they were pathological, that there was something wrong with me, abnormal, ill, something called "OCD", then drugged, coercced, because if I didn't do what they told me to do I was not going to get out of there, they had total control over me, they took my freedom, as if I were a criminal or even worse.

 

My psychiatrist there also deliberately ignored my trauma and when I told him about PTS"D" and my flashbacks.

 

Recovery was impossible for me under these circumstances, then, once I started taking Sertraline, without healing a single one of my psychological wounds and traumas, I started getting confused, chemically deceived, and getting lots of energy.

 

One the one hand I was just high and numbed, because I couldn't emotionally feel my traumas, face them and overcome them to the point I got hopeful because I thought it was finally a thing of the past, it FELT like that, because I was drugged, drugged for years, I even forgot about my traumas, no one told me about this ****.

 

And on the other hand I was just disconnected, from the emotional reality of my life, from my real feelings, enough to see it now. I was deceived, confused, not even realizing, of course not.

 

Then withdrawal happened and I came back to reality, not even prepared, that means that all those postraumatic reactions that I had been disconnected from for years but that I never overcame came back as well, then the deception ended and I was like WTF, it was so confusing, so overwhelming, so ***** up.

 

During withdrawal I made the same mistake as before of looking for answers in the mental health industry and I got even more brainwashed than before.

 

To the postraumatic reactions that I had when I was 19 psychiatry added even more layers, the psychiatric trauma of my hospitalization and betrayal.

 

Yeah, this the chaos I wanted to make sense of, these postraumatic reactions were very disturbing for me because I couldn't understand them, and once I got into psychiatry I started seeing them even more disturbing than before because psychiatry told me that it was BAD, DANGEROUS, PATHOLOGICAL, symptoms of illnesses, that I needed to suppress them, so everything got even worse for years for me, not being able to heal the original trauma and being blocked from doing so thanks to psychiatry and its toxic, oppresive, alienating and meaningless meaning framework, trapped. 8 years I've been living like this, fearing myself, my emotions, my identity, my behaviors, my feelings, my reactions, my intensity.

 

This is the chaos that Sertraline and psychiatry caused in my life.

[Gonzo]

I believed in psychiatry because I thought psychiatry was science and medicine, like everyone else does. Because I thought that psychiatry had the objective truth, because that's what science is about. But during withdrawal I realized that I was stuck, not improving, not feeling better, I started questioning it and I got into antipsychiatry, luckily. It's all a bunch of lies, full of corruption and dark interests. There is no truth in psychiatry, no answers, no meaning and no solutions in psychiatry. If some psychiatric drug "work" for some people for some time, that's ******* great, but is not "medicine", they're just drugs, they change thoughts, behaviors, feelings, reactions, etc, so you can adapt to certain environments and "function". That's not science nor medicine. That's just drugs being drugs. If you're being oppressed in certain oppressive environment and you feel deppressed, that means you are disordered, abnormal, ill? Following psychiatric point of view, the point of view of a bunch of white folks voting what is normal or abnormal, yes, it is, it's not normal, it's illogical, it doesn't make sense, it's a symptom of a medical illness that needs to be treated with psychiatric drugs and/or psychotheraphy, so once your reaction gets suppressed you become healthy again. It's all a total pile of crap! It's dehumanizing. It's stupid and incredibly damaging, DSM/ICD is all about pathologizing the human experience and mental distress so it can be monetized.

 

Psychiatric mindset destroyed my personal beliefs and values and my personal meaning framework. That is not going to happen ever again.

[Gonzo]

The problem with psychiatry goes way beyond its toxic drug treatments and lack of informed consent, it's its whole toxic paradigm, simplistic, too individualistic, its meaningless, oppressive, alienating and isolating meaning framework, its faulty rationale, its lies, its corruption, its dark interests and obscure beliefs. It's just unhealthy, and it blocks recovery, specially the more traumatized the patient/client is, because it deliberately ignores trauma, so (trauma) recovery it's just impossible.

[checco]

Gonzo True, now according to the diagnostic manual any small behavior that goes outside the box of what psychiatry understands as normal behavior (always being positive, calm, and  don't worry, practically an automaton) is seen as an illness and coincidentally there is a pill that is about to be put on the market ready to cure you.

[Gonzo]

Yes, when you know its lies you can't believe them anymore. DSM is a highly profitable marketing tool. Scientists should be ashamed of not seeing it like that, that's what makes me angry. Psychiatry wouldn't be so powerful if scientists would say that it's all bullsh*t, which it is, but they even study its diagnoses as if they are scientifically valid when they clearly are not, they are unreliable and medically unproven. It's all a shame, shame on researchers and scientists that let all this happen, that let people become victims of psychiatry worldwide, they're as guilty as those evil and ignorant doctors that happily prescribe these drugs to everyone and call illeness to what they can not understand/give meaning to.

[checco]

In reality there are many scientists who oppose this narrative of psychiatry and pharmaceutical companies, but unfortunately they do not have the financial means of the pharmaceutical companies that which finance biased studies, sometimes clearly and sometimes they are financed secretly bench. The pharmaceutical companies have such a wealth of money as to prevent any opposition to their narrative even those who wrote the D.S.M were in the pay of the pharmaceutical companies even now the major psychiatrists and the bodies that represent them are financed by the pharmaceutical companies.

[Gonzo]

Yeah, I know they exist, but I think they're mainly inside of the antipsychiatry movement. Yes, psychiatry is buffed because of Big Pharma economic interests. It's all so corrupt.

 

I lost all meaning in my life beyond the meaningless, oppresive and alienating psychiatric meaning framework, because of these bastards, corrupt people and ignorant.

 

Sadly, psychiatric meaning framework/paradigm is standard training for both therapists and psychiatrists all over the world. People don't know half of it.

[checco]

Gonzo Yes, it's all true, I just hope that everything they forced us to suffer has an end, I understand your hatred against the whole system and I feel the same, now I don't take it lightly lightness not even an aspirin, I try to avoid any drug, I suffered from gastritis which forced me to go to the hospital in emergency and I was prescribed a drug I looked it up on Google and it turned out that it was an antidepressant now used for gastritis I preferred to keep the gastritis, I had to take it for months knowing that this would give me problems I didn't take it.

[Gonzo]

I'm sorry to hear that Checco, let's hope everything gets better for us soon. We are much more stronger than those bastards think.

[checco]

Only the hope that all this will end keeps me going Gonzo

[Gonzo]

You already made a great amount of progress coming to this place, when others validate your experience recovery speed up. Hang on there.

[checco]

Gonzo We must recognize every small step forward and for this I am especially grateful to the people who founded this site, knowing that it is not you who is the problem but who should you helping was a lifeline. The misfortune of this situation is being well for a period and then falling back hard. Sometimes I am almost terrified of being well for fear of being hit by a very hard wave. I believe that when this is over we can say we are healed.

[Gonzo]

Yeah, I agree, I think I feel the same as you do checco.

 

I'm trying to get comfortable with the same post-traumatic reactions and traumatic feelings/emotions that I've been dealing and stuck with for the past 8 years of my life, unable to reprocess them, overwhelming me, all this inner tension, trapped in my body, because of psychiatric toxic Sertraline drug treatment, Sertraline withdrawal and chaos, and psychiatric toxic and meaningless meaning framework and indoctrination, its psychological training, that its all about suppressing "symptoms" of "mental illnesses/disorders".

 

Psychiatry never helped me to make sense of this experience and to release all that tension, it made it even worse.

 

Like I said multiple times, when my withdrawal happened I had to deal with all the unprocessed trauma, that I had been disconnected for years, together with the inability to reprocess it, because of the psychiatric toxic and meaningless meaning framework/indoctrination, I was trained to see my experiences through its psychopathological lens.

 

Humans overcome, reprocess and heal traumas when they find meaning for those difficult and painful experiences and validation from others, specially in a safe environmenvironment.

 

If you can't find meaning and validation, healing traumas becomes impossible, and you get stuck with it, trapped with your traumas, unable to move foward, recovery can not happen.

 

The meaning-making process of traumas is difficult and painful, and it can be exhausting, specially when done alone.

 

But it's just impossible when trapped in the psychiatric mindset, because it tells that there is no meaning behind those reactions, behaviors, feelings, thoughts, etc, that they're not connected to anything meaningful, that they're a product of a malfunctioning brain, that's the psychiatric meaning framework, it's totally meaningless, a dead end.

 

So once you get stuck in the psychiatric sick mindset recovery is truly impossible, they're right then when they say that mental illnesses have no cure, because once you get trained to think and react that way about yourself no healing can happen, you get distressed forever and taking drugs to numb the pain is the only way out.

 

You can't also receive other people validation because they can't understand your experience, and you can't communicate it either in a way that it makes sense, there is no common ground for understanding, because when you're trapped in the psychiatric sick mindset everything is meaningless, you just have a broken brain and nothing else, there is no other "logic" than that behind your behaviors, thoughts, feelings, reactions, etc.

 

The way you think about your inner experiences and react to them is called metacognition, it's part of the human natural and necessary meaning-making process, and psychiatry completely corrupts it, it blocks it.

 

It's a masterfully crafted paradigm to create new chronic consumers, to keep the social order intact and Status Quo and to ignore any critic, because it's all in the brain (a broken brain, so it doesn't make sense, it's not valid), and they have the authority to say so, because they're the "experts", the "scientists", and people must listen to them.

 

Psychiatrists and psychologists/therapists are like cult leaders in our society.

 

**** all this ****.

[checco]

Gonzo I recently discovered trauma and its devastating effects, but when you are on drugs or in withdrawal from them you can never understand what is happening to you, you can only understand this after you have realized that those who say to cure yourself are actually only hurting you. Once you have faced the acute phase of withdrawal and are more lucid you can begin to understand the discomfort that has caused you led you to turn to these charlatans there is no chemical imbalance in us. This takes time and not many have the strength or have time no one pays for the people who are not there the more people who have taken their own lives or will no longer be able to be independent is a real injustice.

[Gonzo]

I hope what I wrote here helps you to heal, checco.

 

Making sense of our difficult and painful experiences in a meaningful and personal way and finding validation for them is extremely important for healing and recovering.

 

People search for understanding, meaning, validation, answers, knowledge, solutions, etc, in psychiatry, but there is none of that to be found there because psychiatry doesn't exist for those reasons, but to make money selling psychiatric drugs through the psychopathologization of "abnormal" human experiences and creating chronic mental health industry consumers, to keep its power (imbalance), to maintain the Status Quo/social order in society and communities, to hide bigger and more complex societal issues, etc, not to heal you, not to help you recover.

 

If you realized that truth, and being here, you're well on your way to recovery.

 

The funny thing is, Sertraline could have helped me, if the bastards didn't lie to me and told me the truth, if I had taken it for one year maximum, because I was in a accute crisis and I really was emotionally and mentally overwhelmed and in need of help, but they ***** up my life.

 

Some of these drugs can even be helpful short-medium term, but they're so dumb and greedy and evil sometimes too that they make them 100% damaging, abusing prescriptions.

 

These people shouldn't be mental health workers.

 

I was psychologically trained to see in my experiences "symptoms" of "OCD" and other "mental illnesses/disorders", the damage that this indoctrination caused to me is and was huge, it derailed me and ***** up my life when I was just traumatized, having postraumatic reactions and desperately using different coping behaviors to self-soothe, when I just needed validation and understanding from others.

 

Even after all these years, I'm still scared that I can be arrested and hospitalized again against my will, just for being distressed and acting "abnormal", I'm still traumatized.

 

It's the psychiatric trauma.

 

I guess the biggest challenge for me once I've been able to more or less make sense of my experiences is getting over the psychiatric brainwashing/indoctrination and psychiatric trauma, it blocks my recovery, that is what was behind my Sertraline lalaland reality and withdrawal, plus the loss of meaning in my life and the coming back to an ugly and painful reality that I had totally forgot about, but the pre psychiatry trauma, all those traumatic emotions and post-trauaumatic reactions that I couldn't understand, tolerate, accept, integrate in my pre psychiatry meaning framework (that I lost and replaced by the psychiatric toxic meaning framework, mistakenly thinking that it was the path foward, a better meaning framework than the one I had and the objective truth) and overcome is the core of my "dysfunction" and what I really need to deal with, psychiatry just made it 100x more difficult to do, the bastards.

[Gonzo]

8 years ago I was looking for the truth, I was 19. I got into psychiatry scam through mainstream psychology, which shares its same meaning framework, because I was looking for answers, meaning, knowledge, solutions for my life problems and "psychological issues", I couldn't be functional because I was suffering postraumatic reactions due to unprocessed trauma, I was looking for the objective truth there, because I thought psychiatry and psychology were science, I even got hopeful because I believed in its promises, and not only I was scammed and brainwashed, indoctrinated in its toxic and meaningless meaning framework, without me realizing it back then of course, but I got worse and worse and one year and half later I was involuntarily hospitalized. I was basically arrested and locked down in a psychiatric ward by a court order, then labelled as mentally ill and drugged against my will, lacking informed consent. I was very distressed, going through an accute crisis, I desperately wanted to find meaning in my life and to be "functional", but my freedom was taken away from me and I was treated like a dangerous criminal just for acting distressed and "abnormal", and my already existing and complex trauma was aggravated by the psychiatric abuse and trauma. I just needed to make sense of my experiences and postraumatic reactions in a safe place, to reprocess my trauma, to find meaning.

 

Now that I'm getting over the psychiatric brainwashing and indoctrination I need to rebuild my pre psychiatry meaning framework, piece by piece.

[Gonzo]

I was taking a shower and I started to remember very clearly the logic behind my actions 8 years ago, when I was 19. Because of these emotional flashbacks and postraumatic reactions I was distressed and confused, I couldn't understand and accept them, I was angry to feel like that again for "no reason", those emotions and reactions were coming from my traumatic past that I thought I had already left behind so I was very angry, I didn't know how to react and it was making me violent and "dysfuntional", I couldn't concentrate, be around other people, I was paranoid, etc, so I couldn't study, and I wanted to study, to move foward in my life, to be "functional". Somehow, I realized that I needed to feel safe around others to be productive, to study, to concentrate, etc, so I tried to find new meaning in my life, to understand what was happening to me, and how to control it, in order to feel safe around others, be myself, be "functional". I tried to develop a new perspective on things, a new meaning framework, a better one, a new personal identity even. I was hopeful and full of energy. Sadly, that's when I got into psychology and psychiatry, and everything started going downhill, because of psychiatric bullsh*t, lies, deception, scam and oppression I got worse, and worse, and worse, more confused, more dettached from reality, more distressed. My family didn't help either. But that's what I needed, to feel safe, to reprocess all my unprocessed traumas, to give meaning to my difficult experiences and to find new meaning in my life. In order to be "functional", my main objective, and to live fully, I needed to feel safe, back then I understood that. Then with psychiatry I started to loose all meaning and getting more confused, specially when I started taking Sertraline and disconnecting from the emotional reality of my life, which was traumatic even before the psychiatric trauma, and when I started believing the stupidity of my psychiatric diagnosis, "OCD".

 

So that's what I need, to feel safe again, the same thing I needed 8 years ago and that psychiatry made impossible for me to obtain.

[Gonzo]

First I tried to understand why I felt like that, overwhelmed, anxious, in danger, triggered, etc, for no "logical" reason, it was illogical to me to have those "psychological issues", I couldn't make sense of them. An identity is a meaning framework, a way to see and react to the world, and to feel safe I needed to "improve", "add value", to "replace" my identity or to "develop" a new one, because my identity was rooted in trauma, it was a "dysfuntional" identity, and that's what I tried to achieve, even when I was involuntarily hospitalized, until the very end, until psychiatry imposed me the sick identity of "OCD", one that can not change because they say so, because they say it has no cure, so recovery and change are not possible. And I would have not believed that this identity was real like if it wasn't for the fact that I had been chemically disconnected, deceived and confused for years. I only believed in that sick identity when the withdrawal happened, due to how confused and lost I was. Psychiatry ignored my trauma, devaluated and pathologized my real identity and imposed to me its sick identity of "OCD", naturally, feeling safe was not possible. But when I was drugged I didn't care either because I was high, apathetic, numbed, whatever, I was just drugged and disconnected from my real emotions, real needs and real identity. To be "functional" is to be productive in this capitalistic society, so if you can't be productive, for whatever reason, psychological or physical, you become "dysfunctional", "ill", "disordered", "abnormal", and you need to be productive and "functional" to survive, it's how you earn money. 

[Gonzo]

I've been trying to recover for the past three years from an illness that doesn't exist, that psychiatry imposed to me, trying to suppress its "symptoms" to "heal" myself, trapped in my own head, stuck in my mind, self-obsessed, self-absorbed, isolated in its sick mindset from the rest of the world, an "illness" that, as most other mental illnesses, was "discovered" and invented by psychiatry just to make money with it: "OCD".

 

What a scam, what a prison of lies, what a harmful and pseudscientific belief system.

 

I'm happy to become consciouss of all this crap, I feel free.

 

I escaped the mental health industry.

[checco]

11 hours ago, Gonzo said:

Sono tre anni che cerco di riprendermi da una malattia che non esiste, che la psichiatria mi ha imposto, cercando di sopprimerne i "sintomi" per "guarirmi", intrappolato nella mia testa, bloccato nella mia mente , ossessionato da se stesso, egocentrico, isolato nella sua mentalità malata dal resto del mondo, una "malattia" che, come la maggior parte delle altre malattie mentali, è stata "scoperta" e inventata dalla psichiatria solo per trarne profitto: "DOC ".

 

Che truffa, che prigione di bugie, che sistema di credenze dannoso e pseudoscientifico.

 

Sono felice di prendere coscienza di tutto questo schifo, mi sento libero.

 

Sono fuggito dall’industria della salute mentale.

Gonzo Currently, how would you say things are going for you, you have symptoms, you have improved a lot since the beginning of your journey, you have a normal life. Would you be ready to write your success story on this site, I just wanted to understand your situation better (if you are willing to talk about it)

[Gonzo]

I'm not still "functional", sadly. I'm slowly understanding and getting over my original problems, which I already described in detail, the ones that I needed to address and I couldn't for years because of psychiatry. I will writte a success story once I become functional and I feel like I have overcome my problems. Thanks for asking checco.

[checco]

Gonzo I wish you the best , I asked you about the success story because I thought you could write it I didn't want to rush you , as time goes by it will get better , you are also young I have seen people very advanced in years on this site having to deal with all this and they have been successful.

[Gonzo]

Thanks checco, I appreciate it.

 

I couldn't recover because I was stuck in the sick mindset of psychiatry, that sick mentality has been the most damaging part of psychiatry for me, by far.

 

I was trying to recover/heal from a mental illness that I don't have and that it was imposed to me when I was 20, because mental illnesses are supposed to be medical diseases but they can't be proved medically, so how can they be real diseases? They can't. Psychiatry confused me for years, specially once I was diagnosed and drugged.

 

When I was 21 or 22 my psychiatrist told me that I had to take Sertraline for the rest of my life, that means that I have an incurable illness, no hope of recovery for me. I didn't believe her, I wanted to recover, and I tried to. But from what? From a false medical illness that doesn't exist, from a brain disease that can't be medically proven. I've been stuck in that sick mindset all these years, in the psychiatric toxic, oppresive, alienating and meaningless meaning framework, trying to recover from that imaginary illness...

 

Yeah, now I'm getting out of that cult like belief system that told me I was doomed forever to be "dysfunctional" and "ill", slowly overcoming the indoctrination, because I was deeply brainwashed, but I'm doing it. So once I finally do, real recovery from my unaddressed postraumatic reactions and psychiatric trauma, from my real problems and not the problems that psychiatry invented and imposed to me, will naturally happen.

 

I hope you get better soon checco. Fuerza.