Introduction - Extremely healthy and happy to a shell of myself, where to go from here. 10 years on prozac

[Cpcxx2]

Hello all,

 

I have been reading this site for awhile but recently decided to join. Please forgive me for any misspellings or anything poorly written as my brain is not what it once was as a result of these drugs. Even finding the motivation to write this post took me multiple days.

 

My parents were very pro-medication at a young age, I developed OCD around age 10 and took Zoloft for approximately 2 years as I was told I needed it to get better. I was also on Ritalin from age 5-13. I went through most of high school and college unmedicated, until the end of college around age 21 deciding to seek out adderall again as my grades were starting to take a hit. I also had a breakup at the time and a doctor put me on 40mg fluoxetine (prozac). I wasn't even that sad but he said it would help take the edge off. I didn't think twice about this drug after taking it, and somehow ended up taking it for the following 10 years.

 

Fast forward to age 31 (about 1.5 years ago) Things were going incredibly well in my life, recently married, job going well, driven and enjoying life, and I looked at my pill one day and thought, Why am I still taking this? I learned about the long half life of this drug and since I was told 10mg was the lowest dose, I asked my doc to change to 10mg which he did without a real question. I went from 40 to 20 to 10 in about a month, and then started taking the 10 every other day, every third day, every 4 days, and so on, until I got to one pill every two weeks. Since this was the minimum dose, I figured this was the most drawn out "taper" possible. I took my last pill somewhere around October of 2022 and oddly enough, the 2-3 weeks that followed were incredible. Life was brighter than it had ever been, I was happy and motivated to take my life to even another level i had not yet experienced.

 

About one month off the drug, I started to notice some very strange effects. My body and mind did not feel right. I had extreme mood swings and fatigue, complete loss of libido that has never returned, and other symptoms. I got my testosterone tested and it was very low, in the first percentile for my age. Health is my biggest passion and I had done nothing to cause this, I had continued my extremely healthy eating, active lifestyle, great sleep etc so I found this very odd. I eventually went back on the drug for approximately 1.5 months to see if it helped with my issues and libido (and I had genital numbness), but it didn't seem to make any meaningful difference (I also dont think I tried it long enough) so I did the same "taper" again around Feb of 2023. Looking back my taper was probably more of a cold turkey than a taper, given my last dose was still a full dose (10mg).

 

My testosterone level started to improve, but not without a ton of other symptoms coming and going over time. Whole body pains, cognitive issues, weird mental issues like extreme difficulty making decisions among other things. This has been an ever evolving range of symptoms, with some things sticking around changing in severity and others coming and going. My current symptoms which have been around for quite some time are an extreme lack of motivation and a strong sense of apathy. This is also accompanied by severe anhedonia. Every simple task has become difficult, and I often feel like I am stuck in the mud with the way I interact with the world in my new state. I struggle to work my job in whhich I have been a high performer for many years, and I require a lot of daily assistance from my wife and father. I feel like a burden on those around me, I am no longer the same person and I keep desperately searching and trying to find that person again. 

 

I have considered a reinstatement, but do not want to slow down my recovery - but at this point I am getting kind of desperate for some relief. It is hard to say if I have experienced any real windows, but I guess things are changing, even if not for the better, which signals something is going on in my body. I continue to care for my body in every way imaginable from a great diet, sleep, exercise. However I am sure there are other things I could be focusing on to heal more quickly. Open to any and all suggestions or advice. Thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read this.

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm deeply sorry to read that you were put on drugs at such a young age.  However, I'm optimistic that if you stay off psych drugs, you will eventually recover, and go back to living a good life.  The secrets are extreme patience, and endurance, and learning some non drug coping techniques.  

 

Can you please give us specific information in your signature about your drug history for all drugs and supplements you are on and have been on, especially for the past 18-24 months?  Please only give us drug names, dosages, and dates, as best you can remember.  Please read the link below for instructions.  

 

How to List Your Drug History in Your Signature

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.  This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications when we taper too quickly.   And, as in your case, withdrawal is often delayed by 1 - 3 months.  

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

 

It is not uncommon for symptoms to morph and change, and to come and go.  Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Important topics about symptoms, including sleep problems

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

 

Stability is really important when we are tapering off psych meds.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

Because you have been off the drugs for a year, I believe you would be better served by learning some coping skills, rather than reinstating the drug.  Reinstatement is most effective when the person has just recently jumped off the drug.  I just want to reassure you that with lots and lots of time and patience, and continuing to take good natural care of yourself, you will recover eventually.  We strongly suggest you completely avoid alcohol, as this will further destabilize you and make your symptoms worse.  Also avoid other mood altering substances.   Please hang in there, and let us know how you are doing. 

Edited February 3 by getofflex