success ☼ Alex Withdrawal or Relapse?

[Petunia]

I'm so glad you had a good day for your birthday, wishing you many more clear windows and a great future.

 

 

Petu.

[alex]

My dear Petu, thank you sooo much!

Yes, yesterday I had a very clear window; the third in one week...

I am convinced that this ordeal will make us wiser, stronger and better persons, beyond our imagination.

 

My love and best wishes ALL the way from tiny Costa Rica to mighty Australia

[alex]

At 15 and a half months off, I would dare to say that despite the waves common to this syndrome, I have seen a 70% or more improvement in a symptom like anxiety that was one of the worst for me.

I also can say that after a bad wave that lasted 2-3 weeks, I've had seen a very good week with at least 3 clear windows in the last 10 days.

The symptom that persists the most is poor sleep; very broken, but at least I'm coping better.

There is a long road ahead but is not that hard anymore (right now)

 

Getting SLOWLY better.

[Lexy]

Are you still taking Xanax?

[alex]

Are you still taking Xanax?

 

Yes;0.125

[alex]

Another very good day today.Despite the fact that I have a lot of stressors in my life, I feel my CNS much more balanced and stronger.

[tezza]

Good news!!!

[Nikki]

that is such good news, you must feel peaceful......

 

Hugs

[Lexy]

Wow Alex,

 

I just read Narcissus's post...he has been having a window too. Then I read yours and it's helping me there is hope for me too!

[annelle]

Hi Alex,

 

Wishing you - somewhat belated - happy birthday here from Denmark! I hope you 60's will be great!

[alex]

Thank you Tezza, Nikki and Lexy; yes, I think after a long terrible struggle I'm starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Hej Annelle, NEVER is too late, thank you very much.

 

Keep on walking;we will make it.

 

Hugs,A.

[alex]

Hello my fellow sufferers;today is the third day in a row in a very clear window.Almost symptom free, especially dysphoria-anxiety-depression.

Am I seeing the begining of the end of this nightmare??

[Lexy]

Can I ask you how did you deal with mood swings? Mostly depression? I've been experiencing these mood swings more so lately.

I only decremented by 1/4 of 1mg a couple days ago.

Can such a small decrease do this to me?

When I cut by 50% more than a year ago yes I had nausea, vertigo, etc but did not have headaches and these feelings of droression.

 

I start thinking what if they don't go away?!

[alex]

Hello Lexy; you ask me how I deal with mood swings; I don't know.....I don't want to scare you but let me tell you that it has been the most hard and terriying experience in my life.I really didn't know I was so strong.But I am, and you probably are too.

I am sorry I can't advice you about tapering because I have been Effexor free for 15+ months now.I've been through hell, but I am glad I endured to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

For what I've seen and read, ALL the people that stays the course, finally gets their reward.

 

Be strong and have faith.

[alex]

Another quite good day; low floating anxiety and low mood.But I must say that my personal situation is not easy right now.

I've had 5 very good days in this past week.No awful anxiety surges at all.

Quite stable.I think even my sleep is getting slowly better. I wake up but return to sleep right away.And I don't recall having a bad night.

I am 15 months and 20 days Effexor free.

[alex]

Night and AM cortisol surges very much abated.

I would say 75-80% in the last weeks.

15 months and 20 days Effexor free.

I've endured HELL.I almost ended all a few months ago.But here I am seeing much better days.

I am beating this s**t....sorry for my french.........

[mammaP]

It is so good to read that you are so well Alex after all you've suffered, long may it continue 

[alex]

Yhank you my scotish friend (a place I'd love to visit some day)

Today was another remarkable good day...

 

It IS happening.

 

Have faith all of you.

[johnson]

Thanks for posting your progress and for not disappearing like most (understandably) do when they get better!

[Lexy]

Yes please stay with us to give us reassurance

[Petunia]

This is such good news Alex, thank you for letting us know, it gives me hope.  I hope this window stays open for you now.

[alex]

Since yesterday, I've been feeling the awful dysphoria: anxiety-dpression-exhaustion mixture....

Not as bad as other times but annoying and scary.

My personal situation doesn't help either.

It doesn't get to the edge anymore...

It is "tolerable"

Sleep still bad but been able to sleep 5-6 hrs broken.

 

Very very tired.

 

Hanging on;

[alex]

I just finished a singing lesson; not bad.

Feeling better.

I've noticed that the waves are not as strong and they don't last long.

In other words, IT IS GETTING SLOOOOWLY BETTER.

 

Hang in there everybody.

[Nikki]

Alex is it soooo nice to hear about better times.  It is so refreshing.

 

Whatever the personal issues are, they in and of themselves can be anxiety producing which is a normal reaction.

 

The line can blur for me in this area, although I am having a bit more clarity than a few years ago.

 

Hugs

[alex]

 

 

Whatever the personal issues are, they in and of themselves can be anxiety producing which is a normal reaction.

 

The line can blur for me in this area,

 

 

I've had personal issues before, but this anxiety is something else:I know I've never had something like this.

It is the syndrome without a doubt.

It is amazing to notice how your CNS regains homeostasis and stressors that knocked you out of balance, now are not so bad...

 

Thank you Nikki

[alex]

I am in a wave since 3-4 days ago.

Not as bad as before but bad enough; anxiety, depression, intrusive thoughts...

I am having bad personal times, and I wonder sometimes what is what.The line blurs to me....

But I've had bad times before and haven't had this awful feeling.

 

I need some reassurance here.This IS w/d isn't it? and it DOES go away does it???

 

Very tired and scared.

[tezza]

Yes, my friend, it is WD. It will pass and you will feel better again. When I have personal issues going on, it shakes everything up in WD for me.

 

The blurry line is from WD, it gets confusing in a wave.

 

Lots of love and BIG HUGS!

 

Tezza

[alex]

 Even though the  awful anxiety has subsided,one of the most terrible symptoms is the feeling of hopelessnes and doom..depression... that my life isn't going anywhere...

Oh please, tell me that this horrible feeling goes away....

 

Hanging on.

[tezza]

Yes, it does go away, Alex. I felt that way for almost two years and I reinstated the dose I left off for only two weeks. It can take a long time for some of us.

 

I still have an occasional flashback of those feelings but they don't last right now. I've felt better for almost four months so there is definitely hope for others.

 

I'm not exactly who I used to be and may never be but life is so much different and I do believe it will happen for you.

 

Are you tapering Xanax?

[alex]

Thank you for your support Tezza.

No, I am holding the low dose of Xanax (0.10) but I really don't think it has anything to do with the waves.

Even though annoying and scary, waves are definitely not as strong as a few months or weeks ago.

 

I am so glad you are doing better.

 

Hugs,A.

[tezza]

It's a real good sign that the waves are not as strong as before. That's the way it happened with me, it's pretty common in the process of healing.

 

We just have to remind ourselves of those windows and remember how the waves have been worse, therein lies our hope.

 

 

Thank you, Alex, I'm glad I'm better, too. If it can happen for me, it is possible for anyone. It seemed like I was sick almost like someone that CTd and didn't reinstate at all. I'd hate to think WHERE I'd be if I had not reinstated.

 

Hugs, tezza

[mammaP]

That is such a shame that you are having a bad wave after feeling  better Alex.

It will pass and the window will open again, I hope it is very soon for you. 

Mamma hugs. 

[Petunia]

I'm sorry you are having another wave Alex, but like Tezza wrote, I think its a good sign its not as bad as they used to be.  It means you are following what seems to be a 'normal' pattern of recovery.

 

I hope you are feeling better again soon.

[alex]

My dear friends: yes, I believe I am on my way to recovery.

It is a matter of time. patience and courage to beat the incredible and terrible damage that these drugs do to your body.

I have noticed that some symptmos are slowly abating while others have disappeard.

Living the day, and hanging on.

 

Love to you,A.

[Altostrata]

Such good news, alex!

[Rhiannon]

It's so good to hear how much better you're doing, Alex. The waves are disappointing but as you know they do pass, and as you have seen over time they get shorter and not as bad and the good times get longer and more dominant. You're doing great! Thanks for keeping us posted.