success ☼ Alex Withdrawal or Relapse?

[Petunia]

I'm so glad you are feeling better Alex and that reinstating has helped.  There is some information on this thread about making a suspension for tapering here:

 

http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/3068-pharmaceutical-liquids-to-make-suspensions/?hl=%2Btapering+%2Bxanax#entry33797

 

You have to scroll down for the information about xanax.  It would probably be better if you used the benzo forum to get better support for tapering off this.

[Rhiannon]

Alex, how are you taking your dose? Are you taking it in liquid form? The smallest tablet of Xanax is 0.25.  

 

How long have you been taking it?

 

Because of your prior history of withdrawal and only recently becoming stable, you are probably extra sensitive to other med changes.

[alex]

Hello Rhi; right now I'm taking less than half of 0.25 pill.

I messured it in a scale and it is about 0.05-0.06mg , less than 1/8 of mg.

I am taking it taking pieces from the pill; IDON'T know how to make liquid....

I would really appreciate some advice about this.

 

I've been taking it for a year, bed time.

[alex]

Wonderful day yesterday;very clear window, almost symptom free.

Quire a good night last night;I wake up, but go back to sleep right away.

NO morning anxiety;I'm begining this day very good.

 

Getting better, no doubt about it.

[alex]

Most disturbing and persistent symptom: PSSD (premature ejaculation)

[alex]

Another good day almost symptom free.

Clear window.

[Lexy]

Alex

I'm glad you are having a nice window.

 

Were you on generic or the brand? Immediate or XR?

I'm having such a hard time with the generic immediate release.

My symptoms seem to come and stay for months.

Back in Sept I started with headaches, they lasted for months, now they come and go.

Currently it's the dizziness that won't let up.

[bubble]

Wow, I can't even imagine that many windows in a row Hope they continue!

 

I saw that you asked a question about the liquid xanax. There's lots about it in my thread on the benzo sub-forum. Was struggling with the liquid a lot and thought would never make it but with the help of dear people here I've been on it since November.

 

I have no idea how to do the maths: how many mg of Xanax to dissolve in how many ml of water but RU did the maths for me. that's the trickiest part. The rest is easy if you ever need it again. Hope not but with these beasts you never know...

[alex]

Lexy, I was on generic.

Bubble, thank you for your help.I am very bad with math also...

 

Hugs,A.

[alex]

I think I am on a different stage of WD now.

Awful floating anxiety and panic attacks have subsided almost completely.

Tiredness comes and goes;lack of motivation and anhedonia are issues now, but they also come and go.

Broken sleep still here, but coping a lot better.

Physical symptoms that persist: tinnitus and PSSD (premature ejaculation) does this ever go???

I am having an important sense of overall improvement in the last 2 months.

 

WD has been like this for me: 1st: terryfing, then very difficult; then difficult. Now is betwen difficult and annoying.

 

My fellow sufferers: IT GETS BETTER!

[alex]

Fourth day in a row of very clear window

[Rhiannon]

Hello guys, I'm afraid I've been giving you the WRONG information about the Xanax dose I've been taking.

It is not 0.8mg; is much less than that: it is around 0.06-0.05mg. It is less than one eighth of miligram

That is why I mentioned that it was a very low dose.Even so, I reinstated that low dose last night, and yes, it made a big difference in my sleep.Incredible!

Now I would really appreciate you enlight me what to do next...I want to be drug free, but how to lower such a low dose is something I don't know.

 

Feeling better today.

Alex, one eighth of a milligram is 0.125 mg, not anywhere close to 0.05 or 0.06.

 

Xanax is a very potent drug. 0.25 mg (the smallest tablet you can buy) is equivalent to 5 mg of Valium. So you need to be measuring carefully, even a small variation or mistake can cause symptoms. And you are still not 100% stable from your previous experience with Effexor.

 

I am worried about you. Please hold your Xanax where it is until you can find a more reliable way of measuring it and you can clarify just how much you are taking.

[alex]

You are absolutely right R; I am taking something close to 1/16 mg, wich is in fact 0.06mg.

I measured it in a special scale.

I am cutting a 0.25 pill in 4; 0.25 divided by four:0.0625

 

I was NEVER good with math

 

Thank you for your concern.

[Petunia]

Hi Alex,

 

You are right that a quarter of a .25mg pill is a low dose (0.0625), but it can still have a big effect in a sensitized nervous system.

 

When I was still taking small amounts of xanax, I was only ever taking exactly this amount, but was getting bad rebound reactions.  So then I tried taking even less, 1/8 of a .25mg pill (0.0312),  but I still got a rebound anxiety reaction, so I just stopped taking it.

 

That was before I found this site and learned about proper tapering.

 

Its really good that you have tapered down to such a low dose, but please don't think that its nothing and having no effect, you have come a long way and are very close to being completely medication free.

[Rhiannon]

Alex, please be aware that the measurement of the weight of the pill is NOT the same as the dosage of the actual drug.

 

My Xanax pill which is 0.25 mg of Xanax weighs 0.133 grams. 

 

I am confused about the numbers you are reporting, if they are the actual weight of the pill itself in grams, or the calculated value of the dosage of the drug in mg.

 

At any rate, it sounds like you've cut rather fast down to about 1/4 of a tablet, and I think it would be wisest to hold there for a while until you are feeling consistently pretty stable and you have had time to figure out how to go about reducing further.

 

I think the Tapering section has some good descriptions of how to make liquids and how to measure them. 

 

Also, please read the stuff in the Benzo section about taking Xanax in multiple daily doses to prevent interdose withdrawal. It's been discussed thoroughly in a number of threads there.

[alex]

 I think it would be wisest to hold there for a while until you are feeling consistently pretty stable and you have had time to figure out how to go about reducing further.

 

 

 

 

 

 

I am holding this small dose Rhi; and doing fine at the moment.

 

Thanks for your concern.

 

Hugs,A.

[Nikki]

Hi Alex....it is so nice to read your posts.  It gives me a sense of hope.

 

Alex my daughter told me that after she got off Imipramine, she had WD and felt bad for about 2 months and then the fog lifted and she started to feel better.  She stills has anxiety and get panic attacks but it is better and she figured why take medication and while on meds have anxiety.

 

I am in the same boat and was wondering if you were too.  What I get out of your posts is that your anxiety is getting better med free as opposed to being on meds and having it????

 

Hugs

[alex]

.  What I get out of your posts is that your anxiety is getting better med free as opposed to being on meds and having it????

 

 

 

Hello Nikki; yes, daily anxiety has subsided a lot.

Now I'm dealing with awful broken sleep and PSSD.

One of the reasons I went off meds was bcause it was giving me anxiety as side effect and many others.

Still struggling but better.

Almost 18 months off.

[alex]

At 18 months off anxiety and depression have subsided a lot.

But broken sleep is very bad;scary as a matter of fact.

I have learned to cope with it;I wake up every hr or so, and I manage to get back to sleep.

One disturbing thought is ALWAYS in my mind: what if this is as good as it gets.....??

And the other is: how long can I endure this situation?

Can anyone relate to this?

Am I going to have a more decent sleep patern ever again??

 

This is tough....

[Nikki]

 

.  What I get out of your posts is that your anxiety is getting better med free as opposed to being on meds and having it????

 

 

 

Hello Nikki; yes, daily anxiety has subsided a lot.

Now I'm dealing with awful broken sleep and PSSD.

One of the reasons I went off meds was bcause it was giving me anxiety as side effect and many others.

Still struggling but better.

Almost 18 months off.

 

 

Alex I think meds have caused more anxiety which is why I asked.  Yesterday evening my daughter nsisted I go to the Fle Market with her to get me out and so we could talk because she knew I was quite depressed.  Bless her heart.

 

She was telling me that just about everyone on planet earth has anxiety to some degree.  I think it's true.  It became an uncontrollable problem for me in 1997 which prompted me to take meds.  It seems to be part of life these days.

 

How do you deal with it now that you are med free?  And is it less than it was while on and tapering meds?

[alex]

Hello Nikki;

I think I am an expert in dealing with anxiety.

I've suffered from it since I was very young.

But never so awful as with WD; let me tell you that I really don't know how I survived the first year.

I didn't know I was so strong...!!

But WE are!!

The symptoms have gotten better in the last 5 months I would say.

I really believe in the capacity of the CNS to "rewire" itself.

I try to be gentle to myself, but also I push myself to do things, and live a normal life, even when I feel bad.

It's not easy, but it works.With baby steps first, and bigger ones lately, I am doing things that only a few months ago I couldn't even imaging doing.

I believe you have to make things happen.

Not to withdraw in your house.

You have to give the fight.

I believe there is a lot of fear and trauma because of this condition.And it is normal.

But again, every time I achieve something, I get stronger and the fear and trauma tends to fade.

It is a war.

I suffered from a nasty major depression that almost killed me, I think that prepared me to endure the Effexor WD.

I am a real survivor; I've been out of the grave twice!! first with the deppression, and then with wd...incredible!

And that terrible experience is making me a much more stronger, wiser and resilient person ever.

All I have to do is hang on and give my body the chance to heal WITHOUT ANY POISON.

 

You will make too.

 

Hugs, A.

[alex]

Clear windows keep coming.

Quite a good sleep last night; I wake up but I go back to sleep w/o problem.

Very low anxiety-dysphoria symptoms during the day.

Dealing with fatigue and low energy, but also getting noticeable better.

Low tinnitus;PSSD.

Way far from the horror of one year ago...

 

Very close to 18 months Effexor free.

 

Healing DO happen fellows.

[Lexy]

[Clear windows keep coming.

Quite a good sleep last night; I wake up but I go back to sleep w/o problem.

Very low anxiety-dysphoria symptoms during the day.

Dealing with fatigue and low energy, but also getting noticeable better.

Low tinnitus;PSSD.

Way far from the horror of one year ago...

 

Very close to 18 months Effexor free.

 

Healing DO happen fellows.

 

 

I'm glad to hear that, gives me hope.

[alex]

At 18 months off I`m seeing improvement but my sleep is very messed up.

I've been taking xanax at bed time to help with this, trying to keep a low dose.

Right now I am at 0.06mg aprox.

The thing is that how do I know that my sleep is gonna improve if I am taking benzo?

Should I hold on until the symptoms of Effexor wd get better??

I don't want to depend on the benzo, but I need to sleep.

I've tried to quit and my sleep gets critical.

I am very scared and lost .

Please help.

WHAT SHOULD I DO???

[alex]

I am in a wave of fear and hopelessnes.

I have seen improvement;no doubt.

But my sleep is messed up and I've been taking a little benzo to help (0.06mg)

It is a low dose (I believe) but I DEPEND on it to have some decent sleep.

I want to quit, but I can't;insomnia scares the hell out of me.

I am 18 months off.

Should I wait and hold??

PLEASE I need some some advice here.

[Altostrata]

Merged topics with Intro topic. Alex, please don't start topics when what you're doing is asking questions about your dosage.

[tezza]

Hi Alex, I would hold at that low dose and hope for improvement in sleep, if I were you. Any time I struggle to get enough sleep, I will hold. I hope you get the rest you need, soon!

 

Hugs!

[alex]

Thank you Tezza.

I'll do that.

 

Hugs,A.

[Lexy]

For myself I take a Benadryl 1 hour before bed. It was either that or Dr had prescribed Ambien or Trazodone. I opted for the over the counter. I'll probably taper off that too, but for now it's working.

 

Alex, I've been on generic immediate release and I think that's the main reason I have so many headaches and vertigo 24/7. I've been scared to switch because when I was at 150 I was on the XR but it gave me so much anxiety. The day I cut to 75mg anxiety went away but I also switched to the immediate release the same day I made my cut in half.

 

I don't know if I should go back on the XR. I'd like to do the liquid when I get down lower. I just need to get rid of my headaches and dizziness.

[alex]

Hi Lexy; I wouldn't mind about the regular or XR Effexor.I think it's pretty much the same thing.

I can't give you too much advice or any, but keep walking and tapering the way you have doing.

I'll give Benadril a thought.

[alex]

Struggling with horrible insomnia;forced to take a little benzo.

Very scared and lost.

[Petunia]

Hi Alex,

I'm sorry you are having insomnia again, I had a few rough nights last week, but was back to sleeping well again last night.  When you say you had to take a little benzo, do you mean that you updosed the xanax?

 

Sleep patterns seem to go in windows and waves too, if we can resist the urge to used drugs (or increase drugs) to get through a few difficult nights, sleep returns naturally and then we have avoided more drug related problems.

 

I hope you are sleeping better now.

 

Petu.

[alex]

.  When you say you had to take a little benzo, do you mean that you updosed the xanax?

 

Hello my dear Petu;no, as a matter of fact, I`m holding the same small dose:0.06 aprox.

I am having clear windows, and there are days almost symptom free; but insomnia is relentless...

I hope it starts to get better soon.

 

Thank you for your support.

Hugs,A.

[Petunia]

Thanks for clarifying that Alex, its good you didn't take more. I hope your sleep improves soon.  Its all part of the widows and waves I expect, my sleep hasn't been so good over the past few weeks, I never know what to expect.

 

You are having some good days, almost no symptoms, that's great.

 

Hugs

Petu

[alex]

I think I am in a new level of wd;much better days now,with very low anxiety levels,or non at all.

Cortisol mornings are over,still have broken sleep, but I am starting to deal with it MED FREE.No more benzo in the last few nights.

I wake up, but go back to sleep, w/o too much trouble.

I can eat ANYTHING I want w/o problems.

PSSD still there, but coping better.I have difficulties, but I enjoy it, very important!!

More energy, more hope and good feelings.

And overall feeling of wellness.

At 18 months off, this is my update.

My recipe: TIME,ACCEPTANCE, PATIENCE,FAITH and a lot of COURAGE.

 

Hang in there, all of you!

[Petunia]

That's a great update Alex and congratulation on being off the benzos

 

Completely med free!