success ☼ Alex Withdrawal or Relapse?

[Nikki]

Alex keep posting with this marvelous news.  I am happy for you and this provides alot of hope for the rest of us:)

[alex]

Fourth day in a row with very low symptoms;

the most persisting symptom is insomnia;does ever get better??

[Nikki]

Alex I don't know about the insomnia....I have not yet arrived where you are...there are so many suggestions for insomnia.

 

Hot shower before bed.

Reading, Meditation and deep breathing

 

I had it on Monday night.  Sleep can really make a difference in everything.....there are a couple of threads here on sleep and insomnia.

 

I should re-read them myself.

[alex]

Thank you dear Nikki;I wouldn't call it insomnia;it is broken sleep.

I get sleep, and I wake up several times during the night, but I am able to get back to sleep right away, w/o too much trouble.

But last night was quite good.I feel it is also improving....

Cortisol nights and mornings are OVER.

[tezza]

Yay for the cortisol nights and mornings being gone! My sleep is still in fragments, too, I think it's the last thing to heal for some of us. I do hope it resolves one day.

 

Hugs!!!

[alex]

Amazing good day today!!!

Clearest window by far...!

90-95 symptom free.

Enjoying life

What an amazing feeling!!

All the pain and suffering is worth it.

 

Hang in there my dear friends.

 

Hugs to you too dear Tezza

[Petunia]

This is such good news Alex.  Hearing that your cortisol nights and mornings are OVER, gives me hope, I'm living for the day when I can wake up and feel normal.  I would be overjoyed to wake up and feel groggy and cranky and be able to have a cup of coffee to wake up and get going. 

 

I've had a few bad nights lately and waking up too early again, but its been hot and humid here at night and I've had a cricket/cicada thing right outside my window, actually I think its in the wall or roof because I can't find it, it keeps chirping very loudly all night.

 

I guess you will be able to write your success story soon

 

Hugs.

[Nikki]

Alex please don't leave us.......we/I need you to show us that hope is out there and recovery is possible

[alex]

Dear Petu and Nikki, I am not out of the woods yet, but there is no doubt that after 20 longs months things has gotten a lot better.

I've given the good fight, just like you have, and it is just a matter of time to start seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

Don't worry, I am not leaving.

 

Hugs,A.

[Lexy]

I hope one day Ill be there too!  Great News

[alex]

I hope one day Ill be there too!  Great News

 

You WILL!!!!

[Jemima]

I'm so very glad to hear that you're getting a lot better! 

[alex]

Thank you my dear Jemima

[alex]

Very strong life stressors;in an unpleasant, scary wave of fear, anxiety, and broken sleep.

Very scary and draining.  

[Nikki]

Alex I have corresponded with people who are off meds and they said (now that time has passed) that they feel much better off than when they were on.....how about you?

[alex]

I am still in the waves and windows pattern.

As a mater of fact, I am in a bad wave right now, after a long clear window......

My hope is that when time has passed, as you say, I will enter a window with no end....

I am struggling with the waves by the moment.

It is good to know that the drug is not hurting me anymore though.

[Jemima]

It seems to take longer to get over Effexor withdrawal than most other antidepressants (exception:Paxil), but you're getting there.  Hang on my friend!  You'll be in my prayers.

[alex]

Thank you for your support Jemima.

[Nikki]

Alex I consider you to be a true success story.    Sorry you are going thru a bad patch.  Is it anxiety?  Or another malady?

 

There is an interesting conversation going on in Tapering Section about various ways to taper.  In your signature you tapered Effexor in 3 months is that right?  Did you have bad WD that started right away.  Is that why you took Xanax and quietiapine?  And then had protracted WD again?

 

In looking back would you have done a slower taper?  Just curious do not mean to dredge up the past.  Would just like to learn from other's experiences.

 

Thank you Alex

[Petunia]

How are you feeling today Alex?  Thank you for posting on my thread yesterday,  its good we can all support each other through these waves. Many of us seem to have been hit with them over the last week or so.

[alex]

Alex I consider you to be a true success story.    Sorry you are going thru a bad patch.  Is it anxiety?  Or another malady?

 

There is an interesting conversation going on in Tapering Section about various ways to taper.  In your signature you tapered Effexor in 3 months is that right?  Did you have bad WD that started right away.  Is that why you took Xanax and quietiapine?  And then had protracted WD again?

 

In looking back would you have done a slower taper?  Just curious do not mean to dredge up the past.  Would just like to learn from other's experiences.

 

Thank you Alex

 

Hello Nikki;it seems that Effexor is a very strong drug, and I was taking a high dose (150mg) for 4 years.

That is why maybe I've had such a hard time with w/d.

Regarding tapering, I think I did it too fast, but at least I didn't cold turkey.

I don't know if that made any difference, because let me tell you that a week later after my last dose absolute hell came to my life.

I really don't know how I made it; I was very close to suicide.It has been the most horrendous experience of my life.

But I endured without reinstating, because I knew it could have been worse.Somehow I gave my CNS the chance to heal.And it has.

As I've said here before,things have slowly progressed from terrifying to difficult.

I am healing, there is no doubt about it.But it has been after 18 long months, that I start to see real progress.

Now I can count four, five, even seven days in a row of clear windows,despite the fact that I am going through a hard spot money wise.

I still have waves and setbacks, but now are the exception, not the rule.

I truly believe, that at this pace, I'll be much better by the end of the year(I really hope so)

Regarding my symptoms in my setbacks, I define them as dysphoria, an awful mixture of anxiety, fear,hopelessness,exhaustion, depression....quite a nasty combo.

The symptoms that persists the most, no matter what is broken sleep, but somehow I manage to get some sleep in that on and off pattern.

This is serious bussines, no doubt.

The Xanax I took it to help me sleep, and in a very low dose,never helped me much.

And Seroqel I took it because the ignorant shrink kept me saying that I am bipolar.They don't know sh***t about this.

But I took these two drugs for a short time and in very low doses.

I really don't think they gave me any w/d trouble;it has been the nasty Effexor all the time.

 

One thing is for sure: Windows are getting better and longer and waves shorter and milder.(it is hard to tell though when you are feeling bad.)

 

So, yes people heal from this terrible condition, and the BEST thing is that I am not taking the poison that was making me more ill every day anymore

 

Hang in there, it gets better.

 

How are you feeling today Alex?  Thank you for posting on my thread yesterday,  its good we can all support each other through these waves. Many of us seem to have been hit with them over the last week or so.

 Hello my dear Petu;as a matter of fact, I've had a very good today, practically symptom free.

Wave was short lived.

I am on the good track again.

 

You will too, I have no doubt in my mind.

Remember: SURVIVAL MODE

 

Hugs, A.

[alex]

Quite a good day today;very clear window.

Despite very strong stressors.

CNS tends to re-balance no matter what.

[Lexy]

I'm glad to hear thst Alex

 

I think this drug gets a hold of you and doesn't let go, its hold gets tighter and tighter. If you manage to loosen one part it then grabs another.

 

It doesn't matter how long you've been on it...I was only on it for 8 weeks and it's made my life miserable.

Keep posting

[alex]

I think this drug gets a hold of you and doesn't let go, its hold gets tighter and tighter. If you manage to loosen one part it then grabs another.

 

 

I disagree with you dear Lexy; after 20+ months of struggling, Effexor's grip is getting weaker every day.

It is a tough battle, maybe the toughest of all, but we can win.Just as the thousands of people who  have done it.

I was reading an old post from one year ago;I was dying;dying....I really don`t how I made it

But I did.

My body and mind are wonderful;they wont be beat by a damn chemical.

I am angry;and that is good.Just a few months ago I was such a wreck, thay I wasn't even able to get angry...

Things have changed from terrifying to difficult.

[Petunia]

 

My body and mind are wonderful;they wont be beat by a damn chemical.

I am angry;and that is good.Just a few months ago I was such a wreck, thay I wasn't even able to get angry...

 

 

  I like this attitude Alex, and I agree that this is a good kind of anger which can be used to add strength to our recovery efforts.  I noticed this feeling in myself for a few seconds yesterday, a kind of angry determination to not let the drugs 'win'.  It feels good when some positive feelings come back.

[alex]

Nasty wave of anxiety; it seems that the Effexor w/d wont let go...

Tired, discouraged and very sad.

[skybert]

Hang in there! It will get better. You know it. But this crap fools us every single time! 

I'm with you. Tell me the same the next time I'm lost! Everything else have passed and this will to. 

Nothing can prepare us. But just when we think we are lost forever and fighting the urge to end it all, it turns. 

 

-Sky
 

[Nikki]

Alex is the anxiety out of the blue - or - is there a trigger?  I know, you know how much I detest anxiety.  It sux....there is a post (long one) over at the other website on anxiety and getting past or over it.....it's very good and I have been trying to implement the advise he gave.

 

It's like saying to the anxiety "okay bring it on, give me what you've got."  "I am going to sit here right now and feel it all."

 

Alex this technique can work alot of the time....I will send you a PM..

 

Out of most of the people here on the site I can see very clearly that you are coming out of  protracted WD. You are getting better and better....which is why I look forward to reading your posts.  Hugs

 

Alex this is from Alto:

 

I've experienced the waves, or lurches. I've noticed the converse -- I'll have a window when I feel better, then a trough, which feels just as bad as ever, except a little different. Over time, the windows have gotten more frequent and longer, and the troughs not as deep and shorter. So, on the average, I've gotten slowly better. Kind of like 1 step forward and 5 steps back, then 2 steps forward and 5 steps back, then 3 steps forward and 4 steps back, then 2 steps forward and 3 steps back, then 3 steps forward and 3 steps back....uh, where was I? I should talk, because after 3 years of lurching forward, I took a giant lurch down -- too much stress at a critical time. But since then, it's been the same slow, lurching slog forward.

[alex]

Quite a good day today.

[alex]

Second day in a row with very low anxiety;almost no DP and acceptable levels of energy.

PSSD in the form of premature ejaculation still bothers me, but at least I can function...I am 60.....

[Petunia]

This is good to hear, you are definitely having more windows than waves now, and your waves pass very quickly. Thank you for posting these positive updates.

[alex]

Thank you dear Petu;I just found a post I made in spanish in another help site, over a year ago.

I was in a very bad condition; as a matter of fact, it is a scary letter.I was dying;or I thought I was.

I was in the 9 month mark.

Today is still difficult, but Way different from those terrifying days.

My recovery, as well as yours is on schedule Petu;don`t ever forget that.

If I endured, you will too.

 

Hugs,A.

[alex]

HUGE step tonight towards recovery!!

I had this important singing presentation, that I`ve been working on for the last months, and it was a big succes....!!

For me is double victory because I beat the beast of w/d.

I've found out that part of the formula for succes is been gentle to yourself, yes, but also and very important, doing what you must do, despite the symptoms.

OMG, one very good thing that w/d has giving me, is the knowledge that I am much stronger than what I thought.

"What doesn`t kill me makes me stronger...."

I am tough, I didn't know that before Effexor w/d.

Feeling great tonight.

[Petunia]

Congratulations Alex, this is so great .... I'm not sure where I read this, but I remember reading that singing is actually good for withdrawal or for stimulating brain cell regeneration, or something like that.

[alex]

Very disrupted sleep last night;on and off on and off, all night....will this ever get better??

[Jemima]

Alex,

 

Check out this post:  clare I survived hell after withdrawing from Effexor

 

The answer to your question is yes!