Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted November 28, 2014 Author Member Share Posted November 28, 2014 Thanks, mammaP, I do aim to please and I DO remember the phone in the loo fiasco! Yep, you can dress the girls up and make 'em smell good but don't give 'em anything expensive to look after...... tee hee What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
btdt Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 My last update was Sept. 30th? Seems like such a long time and so much has happened. I am not ready to go into all of that just yet, I just came here to 'bare my soul' about loneliness, a feeling that has been very foreign to me till lately and now I have had 2 distinct bouts of it in less than a month. I have recently had a crisis over (of all things!) a romantic interest. It never even got off the ground but I have gotten some help on resolving the very big issue that came up surrounding it. I'll talk about that another time, it is still all jumbled up in my mind. Sometime during the summer I realized that when my mom dies I will truly be alone, no more family nearby. It started bothering me for the first time in my life. Up to now, never ever thought about or felt lonely, always ok with my own company and actually preferred it to being around people very much. Decided to do something about it ahead of time (before mom goes) by joining a dating site. (That is a whole 'nother story!) Today I am sitting here and realized Thanksgiving is THIS Thursday. Every year since I have lived in Florida all of the people from the trailer park my parents and I lived in got together every holiday, first with get togethers in the park and then at people's houses when everyone had to leave when they closed the park. That has been since 1994. I always participated but never wanted to stay at these places for a long time, always glad to get home and do my own thing. Felt uncomfortable listening to everyone talk and all were coupled up except me, except one or two and when someone's spouse had died.. Then dad died, and other people either died or stopped coming down to Florida in the winters for whatever reason. Some moved away. Last year, one of the people who had been having Thanksgiving at their house the past several years, her husband died after a freak fall where he hit his head and was comatose for a week. She just turned 90, like my mom. She is no longer hosting all of us. The other lady, the one who always set up these get togethers, is having dinner with her husband at their neighbors where they live. I had called her because I all of a sudden realized I had not heard from her about the holiday. I am talking to her, hearing about how the group has fallen apart and I am feeling a rising sense of PANIC inside, just an awful feeling. I could feel what is was going to be like when they are ALL gone, my mom included. Mind you, she is still sitting in the other room, peacefully watching TV but she could already be dead for all of the closeness we have between us. All these drugged up years I never felt a thing. And now I feel TOO much. And not a darn thing I can do except feel the feelings and make plans for a different life to replace the one I had. For the first time in my life I am needing people and it is pretty scary. To actually want to be around them and listen to the stories of the old ladies talking cooking and children and what not. I always marveled at the kinds of things they found to discuss. I'd sit and listen. I took them for granted, got bored and wished it was time to go home. Now they're gone and I miss them. I never found a group of my own to replace them. Looks like I've got to start doing something about that. Somehow I have gotten old and I never noticed it. Pretty heavy stuff, old age and loneliness. Oh my just read this finally sorry be off the map... I understand not feeling then suddenly feeling too much it is part of the pendulum swing goes too far when it starts up. Can be really bad if your dealing with grief and stuff that has been numb comes to life eekkk is all I can say. The getting old and not noticing is very much something I feel... guess it is hard to notice things when your zoned out in drugville. I liken it to an awakening and some of it is not pretty... a lot of loss if it slides that way. Still it is good to feel verses not feeling better to feel. I find I still slip off the log every now and then and seem to stop feeling or responding to people and situations not sure what that is about but illness sure brings it on. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted December 14, 2014 Share Posted December 14, 2014 I am curious is there anything you can say that happened before the big change.... diet anything... I know I am grasping at straws yet I must ask. WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 16, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 16, 2014 My first thought upon awakening this morning is that it is time for me to write my recovery story. Where in the world do thoughts like that come from? I haven't thought about 'recovery' for months (the last time was in the shower several months ago). Btdt, I will try to answer your question then. I think I will sit with my thoughts for a bit and see if it really is time to write my story. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 17, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 17, 2014 This is such good news CW I don't know where thoughts come from, but that one sounds like a keeper. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 19, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 19, 2014 http://beyondmeds.com/2011/07/28/ssriprotractedwithdrawal/ I need to keep this link handy. When I read this some time ago the whole of wd suffering finally made sense, all of the weird and varied symptoms had a reason and a cause. Once I finally understood it, I knew that I would recover if I could just hang on while my body righted itself. And it has. All I had to do was give it the right framework: diet, rest, gentle exercise and distraction. Not fiddling with drugs and supplements and trying to 'eat healthy'. Plenty of time for all of that (except drugs) once the worst of the wd crisis has abated. Too soon with the meddling keeps wd syndrome active. Alto did a lot of technical research that led to this synthesis of what she learned and how it played out in her experience. Wow. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
btdt Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Odd to go to another site to read her words ...tho I am sure they are here too some place. I can wait on your words lots of time I know your busy..peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Thanks for that. So pleased to hear you are doing so much better. Can't wait for that success story! 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 19, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 19, 2014 Muddles and btdt, you guys are so sweet! The only busy I have been is making Christmas cookies and eavesdropping on the conversations of the new members from PP. I even added some comments, hoping to be of help to them, and have never been so ignored in my whole life. Unfortunately, I am a person with an elephant brain...... they don't need my help and so I will not need theirs, is how I look at it. Seeing your comments this morning really made my day! I did not get much sleep the night before because I was making cookies for a party. On the drive home I realized I was really sleepy (having a bunch of sweets at the party didn't help!) and so when I reached the safety of my house, I crawled into bed for a nap (it was a morning luncheon party with the girls). I SLEPT SOUNDLY FOR 3 HOURS! That's how I know it is time to write my story. Daytime naps, who would believe that is something to be celebrated? And so you know how I knew I was starting to recover? When I wrote one day that I was enjoying taking a shower. Tell that to anyone else and they would not understand. There were other signs, of course, but those stand out clearly. Someone else is reaching recovery, too, and I think it is Petu. I'll have to search her thread but she recently said something about showers too. It starts with something as innocent as that. So the little blurb that Alto wrote ties into this. Recovery becomes more and more visible as the nervous system heals and this is what it looks like. I consider recovery to be that period we reach after the terrible upset when our nervous system goes all haywire: the cortisol-fueled insomnia, the soul-crushing depression and suicidality, the inability to do the smallest thing without alarm and upset. If you haven't lived through that you won't know what I am talking about. Muddles, you'll get there. Mark my words. It just takes a very long time. And btdt, you have already reached that level but you are struggling with so many health problems now. My heart breaks for you but you are not letting it destroy you, you are still fighting. I just hope I have a few good years to enjoy my new found health before the diseases I may have set myself up for as a result of the meds and poor lifestyle choices I made while on them start to manifest. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted December 19, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 19, 2014 Wow a daytime nap! Having struggled with sleep so much I appreciate the significance of this congratulations on such an achievement. I agree I think you're there on the recovery story. Good on you , do much patience and courage Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 19, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 19, 2014 Thanks Dalsaan. I have actually been able to have daytime naps since Sept I think it was. I have managed only less than 5 because I am generally still good about going to bed when I should (which is somewhere between 10-11 pm and out of bed about 6:45 am with one or 2 awakenings to pee). I do, however, sometimes find myself awake (like this morn it was about 4:45 am) too early. Sometimes I can go back to sleep, sometimes it just causes me to get sleepy and ready for bed the next night at 8:30 pm. So I am not completely back to normal but close enough to call it I think. I don't really know how to write my story! (Probably because it has been writing itself in my thread here for months). I'll have to do some reading in the Success Stories forum to get an idea of what to say and how to say it. It seems a whole lot easier just to leave my thread as it is and just stop posting. But that is what many do and that is not such a good thing for those that are still struggling. Kind of a cop out and a cheat. (Though I am only referring to myself here.) I may still be suffering from something I call 'expression anhedonia'. I'd LIKE to write the story but I just don't feel like making the effort. After the first of the year, maybe? Or on Christmas Eve while the house is dark and the tree is lit and I have carols playing in the background. Sounds like just the thing, right? What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted December 19, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 19, 2014 It does sound just the thing. Perhaps you could just list your answers to the question I'm a success because ... Brainstorm it without editing or censuring. And see where you go Just a suggestion Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
Wildflower0214 Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Just read the beginning of your thread. And, just wanted you to know, that you inspire me that I can survive. I never glanced at your drug history until just now. I am also a CT, and I'm scared crapless. Just reading back through my own thread scares me. But, your story just encouraged me in the middle of another night without the rest I need. But, I have gotten some sleep, so not complaining. I look forward to reading your recovery story. Peace 2005-Zoloft bad reaction.....2006-Lexepro......2012-Upped Lexepro.......2013-Upped Lexepro......2/2014- Attempted Taper Lexepro...2/2014- Updosed Lexepro.......3/2014-Ativan.....5/2014- CT switch from Lexpro to Effexor..... 5/2014-7/2014-Tapered Ativan from 1mg to .25mg.....6/2014-Bad reaction to Effexor........7/2014- Rapid taper Effexor every other day......7/5/2014- Off Effexor.......7/2014-12/2014 - Ativan .25mg.......12/25/2014 -Taper Ativan by 4% due to paradoxical reaction .24mg...11/18/2015-Taper Ativan 1% CURRENTLY ON: .2376mg Ativan taken in 6 .0396mg doses. Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 19, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 19, 2014 Thanks for stopping by, JDM. You'll want to skip most of my thread and just start reading from Nov 2013 which is where wd syndrome started in earnest and I lost the ability to sleep. Too late to edit my earlier posting about Petu but there is what she said on Dec.14, 2014: What else? I'm jumping in and out of the shower like a normal person again. Ah yes, this is how it starts and if we are smart, we keep noticing things like this. THIS is recovery. The little things. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Bless you. I am so pleased for you - I really am. I can't wait to get to where you are and come here to tell everyone it can be done and cheer them on from the finishing line! I pray for that day. Take care. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 19, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 19, 2014 Muddles, you are really starting to believe that one day you may recover? If so, that is how it starts, that one little tiny belief. You must, however, keep struggling through the horror and drudgery of the days until that starts to happen. There is no way around it. But it is not an idle sitting, waiting. You must be doing the things I counseled: eating 3 meals a day, 1/2 hour of gentle walking a day (and I don't care if it is around the inside of your house to start with), resting in bed for at least 8 hours, drinking at least 8 oz of water a day and distraction distraction distraction. Stay away from supplements (unless it is magnesium or fish oil, I had to skip the fish oil) and resist the temptation to do more than this until you are clearly recovering. For me it took almost a whole year and I swear it should have taken longer if you look at my drug history. You cannot get to where I am now from where I was in such a short time. Your feelings and emotions will come back too but the first things you will notice are the physical. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Addax Posted December 19, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 19, 2014 Your posts are making me smile, CW. I am so very glad for you and thankful for the hope you inspire. 1988-2012: Prozac @ 60mg (with a few stops and starts) Fall 2012: Returned to 40mg after discontinuing and horrid withdrawal Fall 2013: 40mg Fluoxetine, added 150mg Wellbutrin to treat fatigue Winter 2014: Attempting to taper both (too fast) April 2014: 9mg Fluoxetine + 37.5 Wellbutrin Summer 2014: 8 mg Fluoxetine + 0 Wellbutrin (way too fast a drop) Late summer/Early Fall 2014: Debilitating Withdrawal symptoms Fall 2014 - Wellbutrin successfully kicked to the curb but… Oct- Dec 2014: Panicked reinstatement of Fluoxetine ->30mg - held for 5yrs Jan 2021: taper to 20mg Fluoxetine then tapering by 1mg every 2-3 months Fall 2022 - held at 10mg->December 2022: 9mg->Feb 2023: 8mg ->March 2023: brassmonkey slide begins: 7.8mg -> 7.6 -> 7.4->2 week hold (April)->7.2->7mg->6.8->2 week hold->6.6-> 1-month hold ->(June)-6.5->4-week hold-> (July)-6.4 (discontinued brassmonkey slide and slowed taper)-> (Aug)-6.2->(Sept)-6.0->(Oct)-5.9->(Nov)-5.8->(Dec)-5.7->wave!->(Jan)-5.8->(Feb)-6mg and holding. My 2014 withdrawal experience: https://rxisk.org/antidepressant-withdrawal-a-prozac-story/ Link to comment
Cath Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 Hi guys, how do you do this? I have just joined your forum and am an insomniac on day 3 of cold turkey with Cymbalta 6omg per day for 8 years. I have been in hospital for a week with close to liver failure which after every test imaginable they are putting down to long term use of Cymbalta.The withdrawals seem to be worse than the liver failure symptoms. what is the best site to read or where do I look. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus dalsaan Posted December 19, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 19, 2014 Hi Cath Can you please start a thread of your own on the introductions forum with this information. Can you also advise whether you went cold turkey on medical advice due to the liver issues. Each member here has an introductory thread to ask questions , provide updates, keep a record of change. We will provide support to you on your introductory thread rather than trying to do it via the thread of someone else Thank you Dalsaan Please note - I am not a medical practitioner and I do not give medical advice. I offer an opinion based on my own experiences, reading and discussion with others.On Effexor for 2 months at the start of 2005. Had extreme insomnia as an adverse reaction. Changed to mirtazapine. Have been trying to get off since mid 2008 with numerous failures including CTs and slow (but not slow enough tapers)Have slow tapered at 10 per cent or less for years. I have liquid mirtazapine made at a compounding chemist. Was on 1.6 ml as at 19 March 2014. Dropped to 1.5 ml 7 June 2014. Dropped to 1.4 in about September. Dropped to 1.3 on 20 December 2014. Dropped to 1.2 in mid Jan 2015. Dropped to 1 ml in late Feb 2015. I think my old medication had run out of puff so I tried 1ml when I got the new stuff and it seems to be going ok. Sleep has been good over the last week (as of 13/3/15). Dropped to 1/2 ml 14/11/15 Fatigue still there as are memory and cognition problems. Sleep is patchy but liveable compared to what it has been in the past. DRUG FREE - as at 1st May 2017 >My intro post is here - http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/2250-dalsaan Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 So glad you're feeling so much better CW. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 I have glimmers of hope now and again which is a glimmer more than that of a few months ago. You know, I do accept that I won't be that person again but would be thankful if I could get to even 50% of that person. I could go from saying 'I am not that person anymore' to 'I am half the person I was'....that would be enough, not good enough but enough. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Muddles Posted December 19, 2014 Share Posted December 19, 2014 And I am going to take on your advice you have given me - thank you, much appreciated. 2008 - Doctors appointment with stress induced anxiety led to Citalopram prescription. Severe adverse reaction Mirtazapine prescribed - adverse reaction but told to stay on. Poop out - December 2013 15mg Currently on 13.5mg, April 12mg May 10th - 11mg June 10th - 10mg July 8th - 9mg September - 0mg Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 19, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 19, 2014 Muddles, you are unable to conceive at this point that you will recover to 100% and more and the reason is that you are in wd and your brain chemicals are not right (forgive the simplistic explanation). It is like you are in the forest but you cannot see that it is made up of individual trees (to paraphrase the analogy). It's ok. If I had not lived through it myself I would not have believed it either. There is a quote I found one day made by GiaK: I know lots of people who report that once the horror is over that life is delicious in a way they never knew possible. You know what caught my eye? The word 'delicious'. That describes exactly what I have been feeling off and on for the last month. Never before in my life have I ever felt the 'deliciousness of life'. Never. To have reached that state after the horror I went through is amazing. From horror to deliciousness. You can't get there from here, no way no how. So you have to keep hanging in there, you see? You never know when your deliciousness will happen. That quote was in the Symptoms forum and made in July 2012. I find the best stuff when I peruse the 'online list' (better known as 'see full list' on the main page of the site at the bottom) - oftentimes it is the items the search engines are indexing. You'd never think to look for them. It would take years to find all of the gems on this site. And here is another I need to add to my Alto (articles about wd syndrome) list: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201107/antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome I found it by searching the google cache for posts made by Alto to the pp site (which you can only see if someone quoted her). I'm really glad this site has a policy of not deleting posts made by users who have asked to leave the site. Leaves gaping holes in threads...... What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted December 19, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 19, 2014 CW, I'm loving your posts here. Hope, hope, hope. *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 20, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 20, 2014 Thanks, WI. I have to push hope while I can. There was a time when I had none. In fact, as close as this past July I was so depressed and suicidal that I wanted to die. Go back and read my thread during that time. It was really bad and you'll see only the tip of the iceberg there because I refrained from posting a lot of what I was feeling because it did not help. That's why it is so inexplicable that I can feel so good right now. How is this possible? If death had come when I wanted it I would have missed all of this. I am so lucky but in my heart of hearts I know it was not luck that got me here, it was all of the hard work I did just managing to stay alive. Eating when I wasn't hungry. Walking every day when I couldn't see the point in it. Playing endless games of solitaire on my tablet to keep from screaming. Lying in bed, resting. Hard work, all of it. But it paid off. If I can recover, anyone can for you see, I am too smart for all of this. My mind could not see how any of what I was doing could possibly work but I was stubborn and did it anyway. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus WiggleIt Posted December 20, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 20, 2014 I don't know if it's odd or not, but I am coping with the depression well. At least, I consider it to be well. My family might disagree when they see me having uncontrollable crying jags that leave me immobilized on the floor. But I hardly ever have moments of feeling suicidal at all, and for the fleeting moments that I do feel that way, I remind myself that I would NEVER do that to my family. I really need to be grateful that I am able to fight through those feelings. For some reason, it's easier for me to grasp that the depressive emotions are an illusion amplified by the medication, but the cognitive impairment, memory problems, and physical impairments are real, so they are what I fear getting stuck inside of forever. *I'm not a doctor and don't give medical advice, just personal experience **Off all meds since Nov. 2014. Mentally & emotionally recovered; physically not-Dual cold turkeys off TCA & Ativan in Oct 2014. Prescribed from 2011-2014 -All meds were Rxed off-label for an autoimmune illness. It was a MISDIAGNOSIS, but I did not find out until AFTER meds caused damage. All med tapers/cold turkeys directed by doctors -Nortriptyline May 2012 - Dec 2013. Cold turkey off nortrip & cold switched to desipramine -Desipramine Jan 2014 - Oct. 29, 2014 (rapid taper/cold turkey) -Lorazepam 1 mg per night during 2011 -Lorazepam 1 mg per month in 2012 (or less) -Lorazepam on & off, Dec 2013 through Aug 2014. Didn't exceed 3x a week -Lorazepam again in Oct. 2014 to help get off of desipramine. Last dose lzpam was 1 mg, Nov. 2, 2014. Immediate paradoxical reactions to benzos after stopping TCAs -First muscle/dystonia side effects started on nortriptyline, but docs too stupid to figure it out. On desipramine, muscle tremors & rigidity worsened -Two weeks after I got off all meds, I developed full-blown TD. Tardive dystonia, dyskinesia, myoclonic jerks ALL over body, ribcage wiggles, facial tics, twitching tongue & fingers, tremors/twitches of arms, legs, cognitive impairment, throat muscles semi-paralyzed & unable to swallow solid food, brain zaps, ears ring, dizzy, everything looks too far away, insomnia, numbness & electric shocks everywhere when I try to fall asleep, jerk awake from sleep with big, gasping breaths, wake with terrors & tremors, severely depressed. NO HISTORY OF DEPRESSION, EVER. Meds CREATED it. -Month 7: hair falling out; no vision improvement; still tardive dystonia; facial & tongue tics returned -Month 8: back to acute, incl. Grand Mal seizure-like episodes. New mental torment, PGAD, worse insomnia -Month 9: tardive dystonia worse, dyskinesia returned. Unable to breathe well due to dystonia in stomach, chest, throat -Month 13: Back to acute, brain zaps back, developed eczema & stomach problems. Left leg no longer works right due to dystonia, meaning both legs now damaged -7 years off: Huge improvements, incl. improved dystonia Link to comment
Moderator Emeritus Petunia Posted December 20, 2014 Moderator Emeritus Share Posted December 20, 2014 The only busy I have been is making Christmas cookies and eavesdropping on the conversations of the new members from PP. I even added some comments, hoping to be of help to them, and have never been so ignored in my whole life. I noticed that too CW, your link provided access to what many have been most concerned with. Don't take it personally, I think there is a lot of shock, trauma and grief being worked through. Some of what I've been reading in that thread has reminded me of accounts written by ex-cult members describing methods of how control was maintained via a power hierarchy. I'm not a doctor. My comments are not medical advise. These are my opinions based on my own experience and what I've learned. Please discuss your situation with a medical practitioner who has knowledge of tapering and withdrawal...if you are lucky enough to find one. My Introduction Thread Full Drug and Withdrawal History Brief Summary Several SSRIs for 13 years starting 1997 (for mild to moderate partly situational anxiety) Xanax PRN ~ Various other drugs over the years for side effects 2 month 'taper' off Lexapro 2010 Short acute withdrawal, followed by 2 -3 months of improvement then delayed protracted withdrawal DX ADHD followed by several years of stimulants and other drugs trying to manage increasing symptoms Failed reinstatement of Lexapro and trial of Prozac (became suicidal) May 2013 Found SA, learned about withdrawal, stopped taking drugs...healing begins. Protracted withdrawal, with a very sensitized nervous system, slowly recovering as time passes Supplements which have helped: Vitamin C, Magnesium, Taurine Bad reactions: Many supplements but mostly fish oil and Vitamin D June 2016 - Started daily juicing, mostly vegetables and lots of greens. Aug 2016 - Oct 2016 Best window ever, felt almost completely recovered Oct 2016 -Symptoms returned - bad days and less bad days. April 2018 - No windows, but significant improvement, it feels like permanent full recovery is close. VIDEO: Where did the chemical imbalance theory come from? VIDEO: How are psychiatric diagnoses made? VIDEO: Why do psychiatric drugs have withdrawal syndromes? VIDEO: Can psychiatric drugs cause long-lasting negative effects? VIDEO: Dr. Claire Weekes Link to comment
btdt Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Muddles, you are unable to conceive at this point that you will recover to 100% and more and the reason is that you are in wd and your brain chemicals are not right (forgive the simplistic explanation). It is like you are in the forest but you cannot see that it is made up of individual trees (to paraphrase the analogy). It's ok. If I had not lived through it myself I would not have believed it either. There is a quote I found one day made by GiaK: I know lots of people who report that once the horror is over that life is delicious in a way they never knew possible. You know what caught my eye? The word 'delicious'. That describes exactly what I have been feeling off and on for the last month. Never before in my life have I ever felt the 'deliciousness of life'. Never. To have reached that state after the horror I went through is amazing. From horror to deliciousness. You can't get there from here, no way no how. So you have to keep hanging in there, you see? You never know when your deliciousness will happen. That quote was in the Symptoms forum and made in July 2012. I find the best stuff when I peruse the 'online list' (better known as 'see full list' on the main page of the site at the bottom) - oftentimes it is the items the search engines are indexing. You'd never think to look for them. It would take years to find all of the gems on this site. And here is another I need to add to my Alto (articles about wd syndrome) list: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/side-effects/201107/antidepressant-withdrawal-syndrome I found it by searching the google cache for posts made by Alto to the pp site (which you can only see if someone quoted her). I'm really glad this site has a policy of not deleting posts made by users who have asked to leave the site. Leaves gaping holes in threads...... I don't really understand what your doing to find Altos old posts on pp but I can tell you she did not ask to have her posts on pp removed they were deleted ...so were all of my post. When pp was still active I would find bits of quotes of my posts in other peoples replies that is the same thing you are seeing with Alto's posts Laurie deleted all of Alto and my posts we did not ask her to do that. Just so you know. Alto had a ton of scientific articles compiled on pp and all were deleted a great loss. It is nice to see you upbeat and happy... sure could get use to that and maybe my delicious time is right around the corner maybe the best really is yet to come peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
btdt Posted December 20, 2014 Share Posted December 20, 2014 Muddles and btdt, you guys are so sweet! The only busy I have been is making Christmas cookies and eavesdropping on the conversations of the new members from PP. I even added some comments, hoping to be of help to them, and have never been so ignored in my whole life. Unfortunately, I am a person with an elephant brain...... they don't need my help and so I will not need theirs, is how I look at it. Seeing your comments this morning really made my day! I did not get much sleep the night before because I was making cookies for a party. On the drive home I realized I was really sleepy (having a bunch of sweets at the party didn't help!) and so when I reached the safety of my house, I crawled into bed for a nap (it was a morning luncheon party with the girls). I SLEPT SOUNDLY FOR 3 HOURS! That's how I know it is time to write my story. Daytime naps, who would believe that is something to be celebrated? And so you know how I knew I was starting to recover? When I wrote one day that I was enjoying taking a shower. Tell that to anyone else and they would not understand. There were other signs, of course, but those stand out clearly. Someone else is reaching recovery, too, and I think it is Petu. I'll have to search her thread but she recently said something about showers too. It starts with something as innocent as that. So the little blurb that Alto wrote ties into this. Recovery becomes more and more visible as the nervous system heals and this is what it looks like. I consider recovery to be that period we reach after the terrible upset when our nervous system goes all haywire: the cortisol-fueled insomnia, the soul-crushing depression and suicidality, the inability to do the smallest thing without alarm and upset. If you haven't lived through that you won't know what I am talking about. Muddles, you'll get there. Mark my words. It just takes a very long time. And btdt, you have already reached that level but you are struggling with so many health problems now. My heart breaks for you but you are not letting it destroy you, you are still fighting. I just hope I have a few good years to enjoy my new found health before the diseases I may have set myself up for as a result of the meds and poor lifestyle choices I made while on them start to manifest. was trying multi quote guess I don't know what that means lol whatever I know about being ignored on the pp thread... they ignore me too but I still post there if I have something to say. Don't worry about it... if you want to help somebody tell me why my computer starts doing updates and shuts down what I am doing in my middle of typing something that makes me crazy... I likely would not understand your answer anyway... if my memory mind ever clicks in full gear for good I am going to take a computer course as I hate not knowing what is going on ...yet I know my brain is not always good and it comes and goes like lightening. You know one thing I was thinking was I was doing well.. had a lot of steps over the years of getting well... a lot of srtuggle but I was really getting there...I think... setbacks always came with getting ill needing meds ect.. always set me back. I don't just think it is all just illness with me yet I still think I am affected by taking the drugs and the fallout... I do believe it full force CW I am not saying any other person will ever have this but I think that is what is going on with me. It could be the 18 years being drugged or something else but I have not been fully recovered since I went off the Effexor 7 years ago I just want you to know how I see that. I am not trying to terrify anyone to think they may be like me but I am not pulling any punches on the truth of my situation either. It is not easy for me to see how this are sitting as you say there have been so many other health issues of late.... recovery from Ad withdrawal has been back burner stuff but believe me I know it makes illness more challenging ... I would like you use that term you used but can't recall it tho I just read it I .. I can't put it into words properly just yet as I can't get my sea legs long enough to see clearly... to get perspective. I had a time I thought I was almost done then things shifted I don't know why maybe it was the long term use... I just want it to be clear... is all still love seeing you enthused and happy... does the heart good... peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
mattinsmom Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Just a quick fly-by. It sounds like you are doing fantastic which is so very nice to hear. I remember back over the summer and you were not okay. Wow how much things change. A success story you most certainly are. Wishing you happy holidays. Current: Lorazapam: 2mg: 4/9/15: 2mg - 1.5mg: already sick/nothing noticed. No changes in sleep noted after illness. Lamictal: 7/27/13 - 8/6/13: 400mg - 500mg(dr order) mouth sores, headache, cognitive/balance, heart palp...8/7/13 - 8/23/13: 500mg - 400mg; symptoms↓...10/10/13: 350mg; fever/flu-like <2-weeks...12/30/13: 325mg; fever/flu-like symptoms <1-week...2/10/17: 300mg; no significant changes noted. Discontinued: Omeprazole: 09/2103 40mg...5/1/14: 20mg... 8/21/14 = 0 Wellbutrin: 11/22/13: 300mg – 225mg...12/6/13 delayed reaction- mood swings, weight↓, heart palp/chest pain, alerting...12/14/13: 187mg; physical symptoms↓, neuro emotions ↑, weight stable...12/20/13: 225mg; physical symptoms return, emotions stable <1-week, weight↓...4/21/14: 187mg; weight↑...5/17/14 (neurologist ordered discontinue asap):168mg; headache, mood swings, ↑weight, sleep flux...5/24/14: 150mg; headache, mood swings, ↓cognitive/balance...6/2/14: 112mg; see above, weight stable, <3-weeks... 6/28/14: 100mg; moody...7/25/14: 87.5mg; family troubles... 8/4/14: 75mg; headaches; moody... 8/9/14: 50mg headaches... 8/12/14: 37.5mg; 8/17/14: 25mg...8/26/14 = 0 Hydroxyzine; 10mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. Mood changes/rage Buspirone: 7.5mg: 5/20/15 *prn 4/5 times then dc'd. No changes. Link to comment
tgirl Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 CS, Just wanted to say that I have read your thread and find it to be very encouraging! Keep up on the posting so that we can all benefit from your improvements! Merry Christmas! Tina April 2014 remeron 45mg. June 2014 abilify 2.5 remeron wasn't working so abilify was then added September 2014 woke up with anxiety x 100!!!! Pdoc then took me from 45 to 7.5 within a month and took abilify from 2.5 to 0 Currently Remeron 7.5 Vitamin d 5,000 iu taking for about 3 years October 2014 added fish oil/omega 3 1000 mg per day Levothyroxitine 100 10 years or so Dec 2014 started tapering 10% every 10 days-no problems. August 2015 down to 0.1 mg Woke up with severe anxiety-sleep issues-racing thoughts-depression. 9/9/15 up dose 1 mg. Link to comment
WinningThrough Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Thanks, WI. I have to push hope while I can. There was a time when I had none. In fact, as close as this past July I was so depressed and suicidal that I wanted to die. Go back and read my thread during that time. It was really bad and you'll see only the tip of the iceberg there because I refrained from posting a lot of what I was feeling because it did not help. That's why it is so inexplicable that I can feel so good right now. How is this possible? If death had come when I wanted it I would have missed all of this. I am so lucky but in my heart of hearts I know it was not luck that got me here, it was all of the hard work I did just managing to stay alive. Eating when I wasn't hungry. Walking every day when I couldn't see the point in it. Playing endless games of solitaire on my tablet to keep from screaming. Lying in bed, resting. Hard work, all of it. But it paid off. If I can recover, anyone can for you see, I am too smart for all of this. My mind could not see how any of what I was doing could possibly work but I was stubborn and did it anyway. I've found this very inspirational today, CW. Thank you. The only way out is through. Aug 2013 - Augmentin leading to akathisia Sept-Nov 2013 - Citalopram 20mg, severe reaction, off at 5mg. Valium 4mg, prn Oct 2013 - 5 zopiclone tablets, 7.5mg End Nov 2013-end Feb 2014, Seroquel, top dose 150mg, off at 25mg End Nov 2013-early march 2014, Zoloft 100mg top dose, off at 25mg End Dec-2013-early April 2014, lorazepam 1mg prn April 3rd 2014 zoloft 5mg for a few days. 18/4/14 - zoloft, 1mg. Came off at 0.35 mg,14th June 2014 29 June 2014 - 1mg lorazepam, last ever 29 June 2014 - med free Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 24, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 24, 2014 Oh wow, thanks mm, tgirl and WI. I did not see that you guys had posted anything here for me, been busy with trying to figure out that quoting problem and learning some mod duties. Yeah, mm. How could I have gotten to the lowest point in my whole life this summer and then feel as good as I do now only a few months later? The only answer is that healing is mysterious and when it reaches a critical mass, it shows up more pronounced. Or else I am holding my tongue differently, ha ha I am glad you liked the quote, WI and Merry Christmas to you too, Tina and to everybody too! I still plan on trying to write my recovery story on Christmas Eve. Hey! That's tonight!!!!!!! I better get a crackin'. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
btdt Posted December 24, 2014 Share Posted December 24, 2014 Oh wow, thanks mm, tgirl and WI. I did not see that you guys had posted anything here for me, been busy with trying to figure out that quoting problem and learning some mod duties. Yeah, mm. How could I have gotten to the lowest point in my whole life this summer and then feel as good as I do now only a few months later? The only answer is that healing is mysterious and when it reaches a critical mass, it shows up more pronounced. Or else I am holding my tongue differently, ha ha I am glad you liked the quote, WI and Merry Christmas to you too, Tina and to everybody too! I still plan on trying to write my recovery story on Christmas Eve. Hey! That's tonight!!!!!!! I better get a crackin'. So now your a moderator I hope it all goes well for you congratulations I am sure your computer expertise will be helpful to the site. peace WARNING THIS WILL BE LONG Had a car accident in 85 Codeine was the pain med when I was release from hosp continuous use till 89 Given PROZAC by a specialist to help with nerve pain in my leg 89-90 not sure which year Was not told a thing about it being a psych med thought it was a pain killer no info about psych side effects I went nuts had hallucinations. As I had a head injury and was diagnosed with a concussion in 85 I was sent to a head injury clinic in 1990 five years after the accident. I don't think they knew I had been on prozac I did not think it a big deal and never did finish the bottle of pills. I had tests of course lots of them. Was put into a pain clinic and given amitriptyline which stopped the withdrawal but had many side effects. But I could sleep something I had not done in a very long time the pain lessened. My mother got cancer in 94 they switched my meds to Zoloft to help deal with this pressure as I was her main care giver she died in 96. I stopped zoloft in 96 had withdrawal was put on paxil went nutty quit it ct put on resperidol quit it ct had withdrawal was put on Effexor... 2years later celexa was added 20mg then increased to 40mg huge personality change went wild. Did too fast taper off Celexa 05 as I felt unwell for a long time prior... quit Effexor 150mg ct 07 found ****** 8 months into withdrawal learned some things was banned from there in 08 have kept learning since. there is really not enough room here to put my history but I have a lot of opinions about a lot of things especially any of the drugs mentioned above. One thing I would like to add here is this tidbit ALL OPIATES INCREASE SEROTONIN it is not a huge jump to being in chronic pain to being put on an ssri/snri and opiates will affect your antidepressants and your thinking. As I do not update much I will put my quit date Nov. 17 2007 I quit Effexor cold turkey. http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/1096-introducing-myself-btdt/ There is a crack in everything ..That's how the light gets in Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 24, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 24, 2014 Yeah such as it is. I am the only one on the site who cannot embed a youtube video, some computer nerd I am. You can do that one, how about a tutorial for me? I have to go to the store or else we won't have Christmas dinner tomorrow..... What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
Member cymbaltawithdrawal5600 Posted December 24, 2014 Author Member Share Posted December 24, 2014 So now your a moderator I hope it all goes well for you congratulations Thanks btdt. It is mainly for my talent for helping people with technical stuff, the nerdy side of life here. But I will have to learn the people skills and other helping stuff too, I'll learn, hopefully by watching the other mods. And if you look in Off Topic, I finally figured how to get a vid embedded. Sheesh. What happened and how I arrived here: http://survivingantidepressants.org/index.php?/topic/4243-cymbaltawithdrawal5600-introduction/#entry50878 July 2016 I have decided to leave my story here at SA unfinished. I have left my contact information in my profile for anyone who wishes to talk to me. I have a posting history spanning nearly 4 years and 3000+ posts all over the site. Thank you to all who participated in my recovery. I'll miss talking to you but know that I'll be cheering you on from the sidelines, suffering and rejoicing with you in spirit, as you go on in your journey. Link to comment
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