☼ Cymbaltawithdrawal5600: Introduction

[Tilly]

Hello Cymbalta,

 

I'm stopping by to wish you a peaceful week. 

 

Be kind to yourself.

 

Tilly x

[mattinsmom]

I agree with what Tilly said. Be kind to you. Be as gentle to you as you have been to me, and I know many others would say the same. It is ok to be where you are at. Maybe don't fight it so hard. Maybe let it happen. Maybe you could just be still and let it pass because we all know that it will. Your umph will come. In the meantime, you are in my thoughts and prayers. (((hug)))

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

MM and Tilly,

 

Thanks for the good wishes and by the way, MM. You said this:

 

 

Maybe don't fight it so hard. Maybe let it happen. Maybe you could just be still and let it pass because we all know that it will

 

Easier to say than to put into practice, sometimes.

 

I have been helping out at the flower shop nearly every day. For a person of my varied talents, there is always something to do and to learn and the owner really can use the help. So that part is going well and is getting me out of the house during the day which is what I so desperately needed. I am able to learn new tasks and there is only one area of my thinking that is broken. I used to be able to visualize the map of a city that has numbered streets both N & S, E & W and figure out where I should be heading. That part is missing in action and I am not sure if it will come back as I have taken to using the GPS and Maps on my phone to find delivery addresses. Just speak the addy into my phone and the route is all laid out and all I have to do is look at my phone for directions.

 

Something interesting has come to light and it is of the "you don't know it till you know it" variety. I remember back around the first of the year, when I lost the one volunteer job, that I was also trying to lose weight. I had been going to the gym and also riding my bike and I was frustrated because I was not losing an ounce. It was so bad that my thoughts turned depressive and suicidal, I was angry that my body would not cooperate and there was nothing I could do.

 

(Talk about the brain working, the power just went off and my brain registered it but my fingers kept typing to a black screen as I have to look at the keys to type. TG for autosaved content!)

 

Have reluctantly been going back to gym but not every day. Happened to see a friend and told her why I stopped going. She told me about a phone app she uses and she has been able to maintain her weight with it for over a year. So I loaded it and got quite a shock. What I thought was "not eating very much" was actually enough for me to gain weight when I stopped exercising and just sat in the house and contemplated dying. For instance, 30 almonds (and I could go through a bag in a few days) is a whopping 207 calories! The app tells me how many calories I am allowed for the day and if I exercise, I get to eat more.

 

So the mystery of not losing any weight was solved. No metabolic problem, just not knowing the proper calorie counts and how much to calculate for the exercise. It will take me a year to lose all of the weight I have put back on: all of my antidepressant weight is back, all 46 pounds of it. The app will keep track for me, all I have to do is log everything properly.

 

The other thing I have noticed is that every joint in my body hurts. I am not sure if some of it might be due to the extra weight, my spine is really stiff and I can hardly bend down anymore. The cymbalta has definitely left my body, I feel every ache now. I wonder if its use for chronic pain numbed my body and allowed me to perform activities that were actually hurting it. All the carrying heavy loads I did, all the grooming and dog washing. I feel every bit of it. I'll have to wait until the weight is off to see if there is any change. Even the bottoms of my feet hurt. Am I going to get to have any kind of life before everything falls apart I wonder?

 

Been making a lot more earrings, it seems to be a more productive use of my time than spending it on the computer. Thank goodness. But the computer stuff kept me going and kept me distracted enough to avoid thinking about suicide too much. Thoughts still flit through my head but not nearly as often and they don't have the 'charge' they did a couple of months ago. I am also crying less frequently.

[Flowers]

Hi CW

 

It was so good to read your post and see that you are getting out of the house to the flower shop.

 

You must have been brilliant to be able to visualise a map of a city! I have never had any sense of direction even when I had lived in my own home town for over 40 years!!

 

Yes, the weight thing is a problem for me too since A.D's. Like you say, it's all the little things like nuts that add up. You can still have them but in moderation. Are you on your feet alot in the flower shop - if so maybe that isn't helping the aches and pains.

 

You must put on some more pictures of the jewellery. I really admire it.

 

Nice to hear that you are doing better than a few weeks ago.

 

As for me I have not been so good but know I have been overdoing things. Have been forced to rest up for a few days and think I am feeling a little brighter today.

 

Best Wishes.

 

Flowers xxx

[Tilly]

MM and Tilly,

 

Thanks for the good wishes and by the way, MM. You said this:

 

 

Maybe don't fight it so hard. Maybe let it happen. Maybe you could just be still and let it pass because we all know that it will

 

Easier to say than to put into practice, sometimes.

 

I have been helping out at the flower shop nearly every day. For a person of my varied talents, there is always something to do and to learn and the owner really can use the help. So that part is going well and is getting me out of the house during the day which is what I so desperately needed. I am able to learn new tasks and there is only one area of my thinking that is broken. I used to be able to visualize the map of a city that has numbered streets both N & S, E & W and figure out where I should be heading. That part is missing in action and I am not sure if it will come back as I have taken to using the GPS and Maps on my phone to find delivery addresses. Just speak the addy into my phone and the route is all laid out and all I have to do is look at my phone for directions.

 

Something interesting has come to light and it is of the "you don't know it till you know it" variety. I remember back around the first of the year, when I lost the one volunteer job, that I was also trying to lose weight. I had been going to the gym and also riding my bike and I was frustrated because I was not losing an ounce. It was so bad that my thoughts turned depressive and suicidal, I was angry that my body would not cooperate and there was nothing I could do.

 

(Talk about the brain working, the power just went off and my brain registered it but my fingers kept typing to a black screen as I have to look at the keys to type. TG for autosaved content!)

 

Have reluctantly been going back to gym but not every day. Happened to see a friend and told her why I stopped going. She told me about a phone app she uses and she has been able to maintain her weight with it for over a year. So I loaded it and got quite a shock. What I thought was "not eating very much" was actually enough for me to gain weight when I stopped exercising and just sat in the house and contemplated dying. For instance, 30 almonds (and I could go through a bag in a few days) is a whopping 207 calories! The app tells me how many calories I am allowed for the day and if I exercise, I get to eat more.

 

So the mystery of not losing any weight was solved. No metabolic problem, just not knowing the proper calorie counts and how much to calculate for the exercise. It will take me a year to lose all of the weight I have put back on: all of my antidepressant weight is back, all 46 pounds of it. The app will keep track for me, all I have to do is log everything properly.

 

The other thing I have noticed is that every joint in my body hurts. I am not sure if some of it might be due to the extra weight, my spine is really stiff and I can hardly bend down anymore. The cymbalta has definitely left my body, I feel every ache now. I wonder if its use for chronic pain numbed my body and allowed me to perform activities that were actually hurting it. All the carrying heavy loads I did, all the grooming and dog washing. I feel every bit of it. I'll have to wait until the weight is off to see if there is any change. Even the bottoms of my feet hurt. Am I going to get to have any kind of life before everything falls apart I wonder?

 

Been making a lot more earrings, it seems to be a more productive use of my time than spending it on the computer. Thank goodness. But the computer stuff kept me going and kept me distracted enough to avoid thinking about suicide too much. Thoughts still flit through my head but not nearly as often and they don't have the 'charge' they did a couple of months ago. I am also crying less frequently.

This post is full of positive change. It reminded me of a Maya Angelou quote:

 

"When you know better, you do better"

 

Your world / life is transforming, slowly but surely, Cymbalta.

 

I hope that the coming week is both peaceful and kind to you.

 

Hugs,

 

Tilly x

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Ah, thank you Tilly and Flowers.

 

Tilly, I hope you start to feel better and you too, Flowers. I had read your thread about too much exercise and I remember thinking that I should have said something but I didn't. Sometimes people have to learn for themselves. Too much exercise was one of the triggers ffor wd syndrome for me, I had been off the drugs for a whole year up to that time. But I decided to start jogging and painting the house and that's how it triggered. Nothing more than gentle walking for one half hour a day is recommended.

 

I have found most people are not very receptive to advice while they are in the throes of wd so I have stopped giving it.

 

I love my diet app! Lost 3.5 lbs in the first week!

 

And now for a rant: to plural most words in the English language simply add an S. Stop adding an apostrophe with the S. It is incorrect. Period.

[Meimeiquest]

What a great update! Would you be comfortable sharing the name of your app? I think I need it too! I eat very healthy food, but not losing.

[Flowers]

Congrats on the weight loss CW. 

 

I am feeling much better now I am not exhausting myself overexercising!  Interesting that it made you worse too! Great i now have an excuse not to go to the gym. lol!!

 

Thanks for the grammar lesson - never was my strong point!!

 

Take care.

 

Flowers xxx

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Meimei,

 

The app is Lose It! I have the android version. What is totally neat about it is that it has an integrated barcode scanner so all you have to do is scan the code and the calorie content for most foods comes right up, you just pick the portions. I was completely shocked at how much I was overeating. Now I have totally cut out snacking only because of being to lazy to log what I want to eat into the phone. Successfully passed up some Whitman's Sampler candies when I read they were avg. 170 calories per piece. I have to be careful tho, some days I have been under my calorie limit and even though I am not hungry I make myself eat something. Women should not eat less than 1200 cal/day, too low a calorie count causes us to retain our weight. You'd have to look that one up for the physiology behind as I have forgotten it.

 

Flowers, the grammar rant was not directed at you, I hope you did not think so. There are probably some here who need a brush up though. That is why I haven't been reading here much lately. A lot of stuff really hurts to read in more ways than one.

 

I have a lot of experiential knowledge in my 32 page thread. Too bad no one wants to read it. There are far too many who come to the board and start topics in Symptoms wanting people to give them information instead of them going to find it for themselves. I found out so many things because I read so many things, it all came in handy at some point.

[OffEFFexor]

Hey I read it.  And it helped me.

 

I was using the Lose It app before I got sick, and it similarly helped me.  I had gotten into the habit of using it every day and was pretty good about logging every thing I ate.  As I settled into the delayed withdrawal, the Lose It app helped me notice how severely my appetite was weakened. 

 

I've never in my life had low appetite.  When I was in the worst of depression decades ago, I would crave and eat lots of junk food and gain weight.  That was one of the clues that the delayed withdrawal was not a 'relapse of depression'; because my appetite had vanished.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

I should say that I don't encourage people to read my thread, the first several pages (up till protracted wd started in earnest in Nov 2013) are the ravings of a lunatic whose brain was still under the influence of the drugs. Kudos to you, OE, for reading it.

 

Had I known about Lose It during my year in protracted wd, I would have been able to see the effects of high cortisol on my system and appetite. I had to force myself to eat and I lost a lot of weight. My clothes were falling off me. The same pants that I can barely button and zip now I was able to take them off without unbuttoning or unzipping them. That is why I gained so much weight. When the cortisol levels had fallen (beginning of this year), I was used to eating a certain amount and it piled the weight on me (inactivitydue to depression, anhedonia, apathy and SI did not help my cause either).

 

You were pretty smart to figure that out, OE, that the drugs were doing it. they really mess a lot of things up, not just neurotransmitters.

 

I have had to switch to using another computer, one that I have had in a box since 2012. I am letting the flower shop use mine for the mother's (<--- proper use of an apostrophe) day rush. For some reason this version of firefox (which is the newest one) is not giving me the red snakes for misspelled words. Maybe I will be able to figure out why and then I can try to find out who else was having this problem. I have already had to troubleshoot it not wanting to save the login creds for this site, PITA to type them in everytime I want to post something.....

[Flowers]

Hi CW

 

No offence taken. I am reading through people's threads as much as I can. It is quite time consuming and I haven't got to yours yet! 

  Reading through the members threads who have been here a while can help so much with what us newbies are going through. It gives me reassurance and hope to see that  so many have improved albeit over a long time.

 

Keep up the good work weight watching! I am trying to eat heathily - lots of veg and fruit. If i can't force myself to eat a proper meal I make healthy soups. The tomatoes are so full of flavour here and make a great base for a lot of recipes.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

 

The tomatoes are so full of flavour here

 

Hmmm. British (Canadian?) spelling for flavor, but living in Spain? Must be a good story there. I'll bet it is in your thread, which I have not read yet (so many people, so little time.....)

 

The reason for the great flavor is probably because Spain has old, noble dirt, high in heritage (as opposed to the chemically treated, newer and profane dirt of America). That is my guess, anyway.

[chia1214]

Hi CW - I caught up on your thread. And as you know, I read it from the beginning too, even though you warned me. So glad to read your update, that's great about the flower shop work. I know I could benefit from being involved in something away from the homestead, but not there yet. Baby steps, and I'm starting to waddle without falling down so slow and steady goes my race.

 

I had similar weight fluctuations to what you described. I recently dropped off a couple bags of my smaller sized clothing to the thrift shop, it was depressing me to see them sitting there in the tote. I thought I'd lose this excess by now. I put on about 25 pounds. So maybe I'll check into that app too. My husband got me an iphone and I am slowly learning how to use it. Some days I get very frustrated. I had only ever used a flip phone until the end of December, never even sent a text. So big learning curve for me. He said he ordered a user's manual for me, so I'm looking forward to getting that.

 

Have a nice evening!  -- Chia

[btdt]

Just catching up with your life CW glad things have worked out in so many different ways.  I used that lose it on the computer for a time it helped me a lot too bit of a pain when I am not in a mood to log stuff.  I gave up on it sometime I don't recall when but I liked it too for awhile. 

Flavour is spelled that way in Canada I have given up and with trying to correct the world and just go with flavor... why fight it?

 

Just wanted you to know I was here see how you are doing and say hello. Hope things keep going well.

peace

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

I have lost 9 pounds since April 21 when I started the LoseIt tracker on my phone. I have it set to lose 1 lb a week but I see I have been losing more, probably because I am active at the job and I don't account for that. So straight calorie restriction works well for weight loss. My daily calorie allotment started out at 1344 (I am 5'3" and age 65) and somewhere along the line it decreased itself to the high 1200's, in response to my lighter body I am sure. If I go over on a certain day it notifies me, if I am under it does that too. I can go by the average for the week and it will tell me if I am trending over/under and I can eat a few more calories if I want. It is the weekly week numbers that are important. I have noticed that my weight varies by as much as 4 pounds day to day. I do morning weight when I first get up, after I pee, and with my light housecoat on. When it first drops a half pound I record that and then I do not record any decreases until they occur again. Because of the daily variance I don't want to have a wiggly graph, I prefer a straight downward slope. Yeah!

 

The best days are when I am not really hungry and maybe because of work, I don't eat lunch or just have a light snack. I will come home with 500 or so calories left to be eaten and some days, instead of eating one of my frozen meals (I am not in the cooking recovery stage yet) I'll just snack the rest: ice cream, nuts, chips. I can eat anything I want (and I do), it is simple calorie counting. When I have eaten at least 1200 cals for the day I stop eating till the next day. I mentioned before that women are cautioned not to go below 1200 cals/day.

 

I found out something interesting: I have always hated eating breakfast because it causes me to get ravenously faintingly stomach growlingly hungry way before lunch. Always. So I have been experimenting with those frozen breakfast sammiches (I do the turkey meat kind as I don't do beef or pork). The ones with just a whipped egg patty (either white or with yolk) and cheese slice do not cut it. I tried the healthy choice turkey sausage/egg/cheese concoction and yea! that did the trick. It is that turkey patty that prolongs digestion and is the key to preventing those hunger pangs. I learned in wd that I absolutely have to eat breakfast so that was the reason for the experiment.

 

All this is elementary nutrition anyway. But my personality (and some of yours I am sure) detests extra weight and wants it gone NOW. My wd ravaged body doesn't deserve to be subjected to severe calorie restrictions and I sure don't want to risk protracted wd rearing its very ugly head again. So slow it is and I just avoid looking in the mirror or glass windows and doors so I don't get discouraged. One of these days I am going to start adding in some exercise. I wanted to see if calorie restricion actually worked first.

 

I love LoseIt!

 

(the link is upthread somewhere, I am too lazy to link it today as I am on a tablet).

[btdt]

Eggs are also a source of choline which is very important to healing your liver and or detoxing it.  If my memory is correct there are few sources. 

I LOVE lose it too!

 

Though I am not doing it now and have not used it in a long time.. I did use it for a time. Lost a lot of weight but was also following the fatty liver diet to improve liver health.  I felt a lot better then. I won't get into my resistance to start over not here. 

 

One thing I noticed about the Lose It system is it tracked my food and kept an eye on what I was eating... when I fell off the diet I still put in what I was eating... they sent me a note saying a large amount of my calories were coming from diary.  So left to my own devices and cravings I eat too much diary.  I have read a lot of books about weight the 4 hour body .. wheat belly... and others getting something from then all.  One thing I see over and over is often the foods we are craving eating on our own are the ones we are actually allergic too and we keep eating them to stop the wd type reactions to the affect they have on our bodies.  

 

Just an interesting tidbit. 

 

Congratulations on great success CW WAY TO GO!!!!!!!!

[WiggleIt]

CW... You sound great. I've not much energy to say much more, but I am following you and happy for you.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Thanks for commenting B and Wig. I am not there yet, far from it. But getting there as are we all.

 

Today is 31 years alcohol free. How time flies when you are having fun.....

[johnson]

Hey CW,

 

It sounds like you are getting better. That is great news!

[direstraits]

 

todayis 31 yrs. alcohol free

that's wonderful! congratulations!

 

and good to hear you've been able to lose weight-that's what always bothered me most about ADs-the weight gain-I'd go off start to lose then back on & just blow up! I've lost over 15 lbs. since being off paxil-keep up the good work!

 

also wanted to say how much better you're sounding lately! so happy for you!

[Flowers]

Hi CW

 

It's good to read how well you are doing and losing weight too. You deserve a pat on the back for putting in the effort to lose weight when you have everything else to contend with too. It's so easy in withdrawal not to eat properly and just grab anything to ease hunger pangs or nausea.

 

I really admire you for going out to work, losing weight and getting your life back on track during difficult times.

 

It's so good to read some happy news - good wishes to you.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Johnson, Dire and Flowers: I love it when I get comments from all of you! I do wish I could call myself a recovery story and I actually thought about it again recently but the time is not yet. I have a pretty nasty paresthesia in my thigh as a result of the period of physical inactivity brought on by the wd syndrome of the past and my goal in weight reduction is to see if that is the reason (in addition to the fact that the extra weight was making me feel much worse).

 

I logged on this morning to paste a copy of something I found on a website after I did a search for a cryptic comment made to me by some numnutz on the dating site. Has no relation to anything but I want to remember to explore it when I have more time.

 

 

Auric Attacks
These are attacks on the auras of people as in the cases of possession, but the attacks are much less serious and the predator does not inhabit the victim. The most common type of an auric attack is when a relative goes and visits a patient in a hospital or attends a funeral wake. The places are identical to those enumerated above for possession, as these locations are loaded with ghostly predators. So after an attack, when the victim comes home he experiences symptoms of 'influenza', but there is no temperature present. He gets weaker and weaker by the day, even though he feeds himself voraciously. He puts on weight, but he gets more and more debilitated. This continues until he reaches a state in which he cannot even get out of his bed. Of course, the doctor has no idea what is going on, even after numerous tests have been carried out. Finally, the attack may wear off on its own, but it may take months or years. Basking in the sun and an overseas trip may help to clear the condition. However, a healer can put the patient back to health in one or two sessions of healing. These auric attacks are quite common, and very few people realise it. They are often misdiagnosed as chronic fatigue syndrome.

 

Misdiagnosed as CFS? Weird..... I am sure the person who wrote this has never had any exposure to withdrawal syndrome. I am thinking of the fact that the aftermath of the really acute phase (and its prolonged recovery period) has been likened by some to be 'like CFS'. So that is why the above writer's description intrigues me.

 

I also want to make note of the fact that I survived some criticism at work which in the past would have prompted me to leave the job. 2 people complained that I was 'bossing' them. I want to get to the point where this does not cause me such extreme anguish because I am starting to see that after 65 years of being who I am this is going to be an immutable fact of my personality and that instead of me worrying excessively about it and trying to change, people need to learn to 'get over' me. I have decided to make it their problem instead of mine.

[nz11]

Yeah way to go CW. Hey i think that is a sign of some healing....when you brace yourself knowing that you have triggered a cognitive implosion and then the wave/ tsunami of mental carpet bombing doesnt occur. Its a pleasant surprise.

 

The world needs more of us and less of them!!!

 

Well done on losing weight.

nz11

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

nz11,

 

I love your way with words....

 

Mental carpet bombing indeed!

 

So glad you stopped by. (I read all of your posts, btw)

[nz11]

oh shucks i feel some false humility coming on.

 

i'm jealous ...wish i could loose weight. (jusr wish you americans would go metric ).

Go well.

Was wondering how on earth i had accumulated over 3000 views!

Mind you i know of some people out there  who have over 15,450!! views ..Holy Eketahuna...Oh boy!!

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

 

Mind you i know of some people out there  who have over 15,450!! views

 

12 more views since 2 o'clock? Must be a slow news day....

 

Some people can't help but stare when they are passing the scene of an accident......

 

Hey! I am proving to myself that just plain old daily calorie reduction will do the trick. I am hoping to lose the weight slowly enough that I don't get all hangy dangy with my skin. A pound a week has been very doable and I can eat anything I want, just not over what my daily allotment for the day is (a little less than 1250 cals right now). I am finding I am able to tolerate a slight amount of hunger between meals and this is a good thing. But I am still too heavy, all of my joints still ache just not as bad as 9 pounds ago.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

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[Addax]

I also want to make note of the fact that I survived some criticism at work which in the past would have prompted me to leave the job. 2 people complained that I was 'bossing' them. I want to get to the point where this does not cause me such extreme anguish because I am starting to see that after 65 years of being who I am this is going to be an immutable fact of my personality and that instead of me worrying excessively about it and trying to change, people need to learn to 'get over' me. I have decided to make it their problem instead of mine.

This IS very significant! I can't imagine it was easy. Yay for you, CW!

 

Working, weightloss, shrugging critism; All great stuff!!! (though being bossy isn't really a critism in my book. That kind of critism has to do more with the person criticizing than the one "bossing.")

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

That is what I thought too, when I analyzed it.

 

Why did these people feel the need to tell the boss those things? And why did she feel she needed to tell me? I did not command (use a forceful tone) nor word anything in such a way as to make it seem I needed to be obeyed as a 'boss' but I have gotten that stuff all my life. I am still blind to my effect on others, it seems. And maybe my tone was bossy, idk.

 

I am a cultivatedly assertive person, of that there is no doubt. I understand most people have a problem with that especially since I have avoided positions of authority my whole life.

 

I am just tired of feeling guilty for being the way I am and I told the boss if those people want me to leave then I will. I have my self confidence back now and I am pretty sure I can make my way by myself, I don't need the flower shop (but I love it like crazy!)

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Pasting in IE now works as follows: can 'CTRL+V' or choose 'paste' from the browser edit menu but the paste function in the right click menu is still greyed out.

 

That is what I thought too, when I analyzed it.

 

Why did these people feel the need to tell the boss those things? And why did she feel she needed to tell me? I did not command (use a forceful tone) nor word anything in such a way as to make it seem I needed to be obeyed as a 'boss' but I have gotten that stuff all my life. I am still blind to my effect on others, it seems. And maybe my tone was bossy, idk.

 

I am a cultivatedly assertive person, of that there is no doubt. I understand most people have a problem with that especially since I have avoided positions of authority my whole life.

 

I am just tired of feeling guilty for being the way I am and I told the boss if those people want me to leave then I will. I have my self confidence back now and I am pretty sure I can make my way by myself, I don't need the flower shop (but I love it like crazy!)

 

Quoting now works, I thought I remembered that being broken so that is a win for IE (no more of that 'quote' and 'timestamp' stuff, hopefully).

 

An update while I am here: went to the water park today and it was delightful. Even went down the big slide and though my suit was jammed up my wazoo, it was as much thrilling and fun as I remembered it being before the ugliness of wd. Yay!

[mattinsmom]

((((HUG)))

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Oh how I love boredpanda.com! Watched this vid over and over and over again and each time 29 weeks came up, I couldn't stop laughing! (I also loved the 'outtake' at the end).

 

 

The boss says I am 'growing on' my co-workers. That's good, right?

 

Have lost 15 pounds in a hair over 60 days, woo hoo!

[Flowers]

Loved the vid! What cuties!

 

Glad that your work colleagues are getting to know you better. Hope they feel rotten for going to the boss about you.

 

You are doing so well - a few weeks ago this would have shattered you!

 

Had to chuckle at the thought of you in your swimsuit tearing down the slide! lol!

 

What is it you say in USA? - way to go CW!!

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

Thanks for the vote of confidence, Flowers. I thought about going to the water park again over the Fourth but it kinda seemed like old hat and I did not want to spend the day feeling slightly dizzy again. Something about floating down their 'Lazy River' on the provided inner tubes makes me slightly seasick and mars my enjoyment of the day. I refuse to take any pills for it, though.

 

Which brings me to the reason for posting: I am shocked (but not surprised) at how many members, even after reading the information on the site (though I wonder, do people read? There are so many repetitive questions about stuff that has been covered to death in the symptoms forum, for example, but the same questions keep getting asked in new topics anyway) that a lot of members still have a deep belief in the efficacy of psychoactive drugs to 'treat' disturbances of mood and feeling and also the belief that the turds that prescribe the drugs know what they are doing.

 

Stop eating pills, people. Get wise and get off and never look back. The dam things only work to take a functioning organism and turn it into a flat, lifeless, uncaring being who is blind to their effect until they try to get off them and then they are in for more misery than they ever bargained for. Kinda like all the bad stuff is stockpiled only to return with a vengeance once the chemicals are removed.

 

In order to recover any semblance of your 'true' self (whatever that is), is going to take years. The body cannot remake itself overnight and the hell has to be endured until it goes away on its own. No benzos, no Z drugs (I survived without sleep for almost 6 months and lived to tell about it), no magic supplements or magic electrical devices are going to help and they just serve to further delay healing. Find something to keep yourself occupied while the healing is going on, like a permanent subscription to the cat vid channel on YT for instance if you can't sleep. That is far better than visits to a clueless shrink who has no clue what these powerful drugs actually do and would stop prescribing them in a heartbeat if they knew how much people suffer when they try to go off them. Let one of them agonize through months of suicidal 'depression' and see how THEY feel about the drugs afterwards.

 

Why don't we get any recovering psychiatrists on these boards I wonder? Maybe their belief that they 'know better' on how to treat unhappy people (for is that not the reason most of us started these drugs to begin with? Some degree of unhappiness? Or the manifestation of it?) insures they will never consider taking the stuff they so cavalierly dish out?

 

Stop believing the hype, stop believing in 'pills' and start trying to figure out what is wrong in your life and work to change that instead.

 

Dammit! I did not know these things did not (and would not ever) work. I lost 8 years of my life because of them. I did some great stuff but somewhere along the line my ability to plan for the future got disrupted and now I am pretty much screwed. It is hot as Hades right now in Florida and the AC seems like it is running all of the time. I had been keeping the thermostat at 81^o but lowered it to 80^o because mom is now using the oxygen generating machine 24 hours a day and it generates a lot of heat in her room. That one degree of change bumped the electric bill up about 30 bucks. So out of the 600 odd dollars I am getting for social security now that they started making me pay for medicare, the rent (which includes the elec and water) was $530. When mom dies, how far is that monthly allotment going to stretch to cover food, transportation, sundries? It won't. I am not looking forward to spending my later years sweating in 95^o hear in the summer with no AC but what am I going to do? No pill will ever fix what I did to my life.

 

I am screwed. And it is my own fault. I was the one who went to the doctor because I could not stop crying and asked for pills. A child of the baby boom years, constantly bombarded with TV ads touting pills for everything. It is ten (no hundreds) of times worse now, all the advertising for that crap. And the people who come here are as indoctrinated as I ever was and the only difference is most of them cannot see their own secret bias in favor of psychiatry and pill taking.

 

You'll never beat this if you keep relying on pills. No pill will ever fix what I did to my life and it is not going to fix yours either. I am positive of that.

[cymbaltawithdrawal5600]

This is going to be a rant, I am hurting and I need to let some of the pain out. I have no one to talk to if not for this screen, so if you are in a bad place, go read someone else's thread.

 

 

Stop believing the hype, stop believing in 'pills' and start trying to figure out what is wrong in your life and work to change that instead.

 

Oh such fine words from an arrogant ass. I wrote that some time ago after reading post after post here of people wanting to take this drug or that supplement to 'fix' themselves. What if you know what is wrong in your life and it happens to be 'you'? What do you do then?

 

The problem is me, I have known it for years but I cannot figure for the life of me how to change who I am. I am unemployable, permanently so it seems and I don't know what to do. But I do know that I don't want to try anymore. I hate myself, I hate life and I don't want to be here anymore. And there is not a pill in the world that can fix that. How much longer do I have to wait until I just die?