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Erell: struggling with paroxetine

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Mimi79
3 hours ago, Erell said:

I've read a sentence I love in a book :

 

"Don't take your thoughts too seriously" 

 

Simple sentence, but powerfull ☺

Love it!

I have two other quotes I like too:

 

« Don’t listen to the lies of your mind »

 

« Thoughts aren’t facts »

 

Take care, dear Erell!


Oct 2007 - aug 2008: Mirtazapine (for insomnia). Tapered from march until august 2008.

Sept 2008 - Anxiety relapse, so been put on 20mg Celexa - tapered from feb 2009 until august 2010. Dec 2009-Sept 2010: Celexa, Cymbalta. Quit C/T both.

Sept 2010 - Jan 2015: Paxil 20mg.  Jan 2015 - Paxil Poop-out so tapered very fast (over 3 weeks) then switched to 30mg mirtazapine.  Suffered very bad w/d symptoms for

                    3  months. March 2015 - Mirt didn't work so switched to 100mg Pristiq.

April 2015 to oct 2018 : Mirtazapine 30mg + Pristiq 50mg. March 2018 to Dec 2018: Tapered Pristiq (by switching to effexor) and updosed Mirtazapine to 45mg.

June 2019: Adverse reaction to short use of Zopiclone (1 week use). GP put me on Zoloft 50mg. Adverse reaction to Zoloft so stopped it after 10 days.

June 2019-aug 2019: Fast taper of Mirtazapine, sept 2019 hit bad W/D symptoms, so updosed to 45mg. GP put me on 10mg Lexapro, C/T after 4 weeks.

Dec 2019-Jan 2020: Tapered Mirtazapine (45mg down to 37.5mg), but end of january, hit a wall of symptoms, so updose again to 45mg Mirtazapine.

Feb 2020: GP added 50mg SeroquelXR and upped Mirtazapine to 52.5mg. Stopped SeroquelXR after 2 weeks.

21 Feb 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

Seroquel 25mg on and off to help sleep, since may 2019. Ativan 0,5mg PRN, since oct 2019.  Early march '20, stopped both seroquel and ativan.

Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate, Omega-3, B complex vit., D vit. 1000UI. Melatonin, probiotic.

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Erell
On 9/19/2020 at 8:20 PM, Altostrata said:

A week might be enough. You've been moving diazepam slowly.

 

On 9/19/2020 at 8:00 PM, Altostrata said:

Appears to me you're taking too much fluoxetine. Once diazepam dosing gets settled, you may wish to reduce fluoxetine by 0.5mg.

 

Thank you for your suggestion ❤

 

Last few days have brought a welcome relief, I am now left with random depressed feelings and fluctuating chemical anxiety. 

I will hold everything steady for one week and then reassess.

 

Reducing Fluoxetine by 0.5mg scares me a bit, last weeks have been quite a shock. 

I might try a 3% drop and see how it goes.

 

You are a gem Alto, you really helped me hanging during this rough patch.

I don't know how to thank you enough so I'll just send you hugs  (if you like them) ☀️

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Altostrata
2 hours ago, Erell said:

Last few days have brought a welcome relief, I am now left with random depressed feelings and fluctuating chemical anxiety. 

I will hold everything steady for one week and then reassess.

 

Good idea. The diazepam is working on those afternoon symptoms.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Mimi79

@Erell, how are you going these days? 
Send you hugs!

Anne-Marie


Oct 2007 - aug 2008: Mirtazapine (for insomnia). Tapered from march until august 2008.

Sept 2008 - Anxiety relapse, so been put on 20mg Celexa - tapered from feb 2009 until august 2010. Dec 2009-Sept 2010: Celexa, Cymbalta. Quit C/T both.

Sept 2010 - Jan 2015: Paxil 20mg.  Jan 2015 - Paxil Poop-out so tapered very fast (over 3 weeks) then switched to 30mg mirtazapine.  Suffered very bad w/d symptoms for

                    3  months. March 2015 - Mirt didn't work so switched to 100mg Pristiq.

April 2015 to oct 2018 : Mirtazapine 30mg + Pristiq 50mg. March 2018 to Dec 2018: Tapered Pristiq (by switching to effexor) and updosed Mirtazapine to 45mg.

June 2019: Adverse reaction to short use of Zopiclone (1 week use). GP put me on Zoloft 50mg. Adverse reaction to Zoloft so stopped it after 10 days.

June 2019-aug 2019: Fast taper of Mirtazapine, sept 2019 hit bad W/D symptoms, so updosed to 45mg. GP put me on 10mg Lexapro, C/T after 4 weeks.

Dec 2019-Jan 2020: Tapered Mirtazapine (45mg down to 37.5mg), but end of january, hit a wall of symptoms, so updose again to 45mg Mirtazapine.

Feb 2020: GP added 50mg SeroquelXR and upped Mirtazapine to 52.5mg. Stopped SeroquelXR after 2 weeks.

21 Feb 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

Seroquel 25mg on and off to help sleep, since may 2019. Ativan 0,5mg PRN, since oct 2019.  Early march '20, stopped both seroquel and ativan.

Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate, Omega-3, B complex vit., D vit. 1000UI. Melatonin, probiotic.

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Nyfa25

@Erell Salut Erell je viens également aux nouvelles pour savoir comment tu allais ? Il me semble que tu n'as pas publié depuis quelques jours, alors j'espère que ça veut dire que tu arrives pleinement a profiter des journées et des activités que tu fais ? :)

 

Bien a toi et toutes les bonnes ondes pour la guérison 😘


June 25 - July 8, 2020 - 2 weeks on Brintellix, suffered an adverse reaction.

 

25 juin - 8 juillet 2020-2 semaines sur Brintellix, a subi un effet indésirable.

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Rosetta

I’m sorry that I have not written back.  I’m limping along at the moment.  I don’t feel terrible, but the homeschooling is really hard, and I have very little energy or patience for much else.  I did have internal akathisia quite severely.  Jump off the roof kind of aka.  I never paced, but I had restless legs and arms.  There was an electric feeling in my arms and legs.  It will go away.  Try to distract yourself and take hot showers or hot baths.


https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/16629-rosetta-ct-may-2011-too-fast-taper-feb-2017/?page=25

2001-2011 Celexa 10 mg raised to 40 mg then 60 mg over this time period

May 2011 OB Doctor's Cold switch Celexa 60 mg to 10 mg Zoloft sertraline (baby born)

2012-2016 - Doctors raised dose of Zoloft up to 150 mg

2016 - Xanax prescribed - as needed - 0.5 mg about every 3 days (bad reaction)

2016 - Stopped Xanax

Late 2016- Began (too fast) taper of Zoloft

Early 2017 - Trazodone prescribed for bedtime (doseage unknown)

Feb 2017 - Completed taper/stopped Trazodone

Drug free since Feb 2017

2017 - Unisom otc very rarely for sleep

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sunnysideup69

Hey lovely @Erell, been catching up on your thread :) I'm so glad to read you're having some relief. Your strength is immense. Sending you lots of hugs.


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Erell

Hello, 

 

thank you dears for your sweet posts ❤️

 

i've not been much on SA this week : while not working and spending a lot of time at home, it is easy to get trapped by screens, and this week I have worked on spending less time on my phone.

I also felt that reading others'stories triggered some catastrophzsing thoughts, and I'm working on not letting catastrophizing thoughts consume my thoughts ;) 

 

I'm trying to be the observer of my symptoms and to detach from them while living "normal life".

I feel a strong need of being able to do 'normal' things like seeing friends, go in town, drive my car... but must confess that I'm not really succeeding (for now) and I'm mostly housebound. 

I dont know how to express it in English, but it's like if I don't know how to do "normal things" anymore : last months have been very hard and I don't know how to "reconnect with reality".

It's like feeling 'crippled', and disconnected. 

Don't know if it makes sense :) 

 

This week, symptoms are mostly an omnipresent anxiety without a cause, with random higher spikes / some intrusive thoughts / strong agoraphobia / slight sleep with lot of dreams / random despair-crying spells.

The random despair-crying spikes makes me feel like in PMS, but last periods were 50 days ago so I don't really know where I am in my cycle anymore. 

 

I'm holding 7mg Fluoxetine at 8am and 1mg Diazepam at 4pm.

As chemical anxiety is quite high and disabling, I keep in mind Altostrata's suggestion to lower my Fluoxetine dose : I plan to take a detailed look at my dailynotes this afternoon and decide what I do next.

 

Wishing you all a nice day ❤️ 

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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mustafa
47 minutes ago, Erell said:

Hello, 

 

thank you dears for your sweet posts ❤️

 

i've not been much on SA this week : while not working and spending a lot of time at home, it is easy to get trapped by screens, and this week I have worked on spending less time on my phone.

I also felt that reading others'stories triggered some catastrophzsing thoughts, and I'm working on not letting catastrophizing thoughts consume my thoughts ;) 

 

I'm trying to be the observer of my symptoms and to detach from them while living "normal life".

I feel a strong need of being able to do 'normal' things like seeing friends, go in town, drive my car... but must confess that I'm not really succeeding (for now).

I dont know how to express it in English, but it's like if I don't know how to do "normal things" anymore : last months have been very hard and I don't know how to "reconnect with reality".

It's like feeling 'crippled', and disconnected. 

Don't know if it makes sense :) 

 

This week, symptoms are mostly an omnipresent anxiety without a cause, with random higher spikes / some intrusive thoughts / strong agoraphobia / slight sleep with lot of dreams / random despair-crying spells.

The random despair-crying spikes makes me feel like in PMS, but last periods were 50 days ago so I don't really know where I am in my cycle anymore. 

 

I'm holding 7mg Fluoxetine at 8am and 1mg Diazepam at 4pm.

As chemical anxiety is quite high and disabling, I keep in mind Altostrata's suggestion to lower my Fluoxetine dose : I plan to take a detailed look at my dailynotes this afternoon and decide what I do next.

 

Wishing you all a nice day ❤️ 

 

Hello erell,

I like that your post is of a little quiet tune, I hope u feel some relief.

Yes, being trapped by a screen is not a good thing at all and yes too, nothing is better than going out side for work and seeing friends ; I dont know how the matter was to be if we dont have friends as well here on SA, I think it was to be severe struggle.

It is good that u are lowering your fluoxetine dose, having less ADs is for sure better.

Thinking of u erell❤.


i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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Cigale

My heart goes out to you sweet @Erell! Though your strength is being tested at every turn, you stay positive and rational and supportive of others. I am thinking of you and sending hugs. 


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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mstimc
1 hour ago, Erell said:

I dont know how to express it in English, but it's like if I don't know how to do "normal things" anymore : last months have been very hard and I don't know how to "reconnect with reality".

It's like feeling 'crippled', and disconnected. 

Don't know if it makes sense :) 

 

Hi Erell

 

This makes perfect sense and it happens to so many of us no matter where we are on the recovery arc.  I still have health anxiety issues and when they take hold in my mind, I, too, don't feel like doing "normal things" .  I spend a tremendous amount of emotional energy just wanting to feel okay again.  I find starting out slow and easy helps--doing very small short-term things that don't take a lot of effort,  even as minor as rearranging files on my computer.  Anything that feels normal but that I can set aside if needed.  It can be so difficult for so very long it gets disheartening, but it won't last forever!


Tim C

Started Paxil for GAD in 1999

Unsuccessful taper attempt in 2006

Paxilprogress helped with a successful taper completed in 2009

Using therapy and CBT to manage my anxiety

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Adili13

Thinking of you a sorry you're having such a difficult time. I relate to many of your symptoms, especially the strong chemical anxiety and feelings of unreality. I spend much of my time inside as well. We will prevail, my friend. I think it's good that you're spending less time on your screen. I might have to follow and do the same thing. Reading stories often sends me down a slope of catastrophic thinking. Best to avoid it entirely until we are more stable! Peace, Erell.


2008: start Lexapro 10 mg which is quickly upped to 20 mg. 2008:2013 try at least four individual times to get off Lexapro, never get lower than 5mg, settle at 15 mg. 2015: again, attempt to get off Lexapro and get to 5 mg. After 6 months, feel i'm stabilizing but go back on a higher dose because of one stressful event. 2016: go to 20 mg from 15 mg due to work stresses, hit severe tolerance for the first time and become very suicidal. 2016-2017: try viibryd and cymbata in an attempt to feel better. Also add Lamictal 150 at some point. 2017: eventually land on paxil 37.5 and Lamictal 150. January 2018: cut paxil to 25. April-July 2018: reduce Lamictal in 50 mg increments till im off August. 2018: reduce paxil to 20 mg. december 2018: dropped Paxil to 18 mg, SEVERE CRASH. March updosed to 20 mg April 11: dropped to 19.4 mg due to akathsia (still experiencing akathsia symptoms from updose) April 20: 19 mg Paxil May 4: 18.7 Paxil July 5: 18.2 July 12: 17.8 Aug 19: 17.5 Aug 26: 17.3 Oct 20: 17.1 Nov 3: 16.9, 8/17/20: 16.6 after nine month hold, 8/24/20: 16.4, 8/31/20:16.2, 9/14/2020: 16.0, 9/21/20: 15.8, 9/28/20: 15.6, 10/19/20:15.4, 10/26/20: 15.2

 

Medication signature.docx

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Frogie

Hi Erell:

 

I just wanted to stop by and see how you are doing this week?

 

I hope just a little better.

 

Be strong ❤️

 

Take care,

Frogie xx


PREVIOUS medications and discontinuations: Have been on medications since 1996. 

 Valium, Gabapentin, Lamictal and Prilosec from 2000 to 2015 with a fast taper by a psychiatrist.

 Liquid Lexapro Nov, 2016 to 31-March, 2019 Lexapro free!!! (total Lexapro taper was 4 years-started with pill form)

---CURRENT MEDICATIONS:Supplements:Milk Thistle, Metamucil, Magnesium Citrate, Vitamin D3, NP Thyroid

 Xanax 1mg three times a day June, 2000 to 19-September, 2020 Went from .150 grams (average weight of 1 Xanax) three times a day to .003 grams three times a day.

19-September, 2020 Xanax free!!! (total Xanax taper was 15-1/2 months-1-June, 2019-19-September, 2020)

 

 

I am not a medical professional. The suggestions I make are based on personal experience.

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Erell
Posted (edited)

Hello, 

 

@Frogie, @Adili13, @Cigale, @mstimc, @mustafa : thank you, I'm always so pleased and grateful when I read kind words of support on my thread ❤️

 

Feeling a bit selfish too : I've tried today to read others'threads, but I can only notice that I'm still very easily triggered and after a few posts my mind was already gone in a catastrophizing mode. It's like if I don't manage to come on SA these days without panicking or feeling overwhelmed.

I'm also feeling a mix between anger and hopelessness when I read so much sufferings because of foolish doctors. The same story, over and over : i'm sick of this sad scenario. And so angry.

And astonished by the strenght and the generosity of those who come here and work hard to support, share their knowledge, explain, ...day after day.

Thank you, thank you, thank you 💞

 

So I guess I'm going to keep on working on "real life" and coming less on SA for now. Hoping I'll feel strong enough to give support soon !

 

On my side, I'm still holding everything steady : 7mg Fluoxetine at 8am + 1mg Diazepam at 4pm + toothpick Paroxetine

I'm seeing improvements, and I chose to see these improvments as a sign to keep holding rather than lowering my Fluoxetine dose for now.

 

Let's share some nice improvements

 

- I get 6-7hours of sleep most nights, sometimes even more !

- The physical kind of "akathisia", need to move, is GONE

- Violent intrusive thoughts-impulses : they are now very low or nonexistent (!) with occasionnal spikes.

- I'm not living in terror anymore. Anxiety fluctuates, with some challenging spikes but also nicer times.

- My mood is overall better and more stable. I'm often "blah", and compared to the dark hopelessness, blah is wonderful ! :) 

- I'm more "active" and able to engage in activities. Also felt some interest for the news (with moderation ;) ), for the "real world".

 

Current symptoms-situation 

 

- I'm still dealing with chemical anxiety and agoraphobia. Fluctuating, ups and downs..working on trying to live with them. My most challenging an disabling symptom.

- I've developed a kind of "social anxiety" and I'm isolated (trying to work gradually on that)

- I'm very easily irritated with no reason.

- I have random spikes of depression/doom/hopelessness : working on managing them with my toolkit

- exhaustion spikes : there are times during the day while I suddenly struggle to keep my eyes open, feeling exhausted

- spikes of genital pain, like if I had my periods (don't have them since 60 days).

- strong headaches, it comes and go.

 

And a strange one : since 2 weeks, I woke up during many nights with an irrepressible need to laugh, and I can't stop laughing during 10-15 minutes before it calms down.

And I have absolutely no idea why I'm laughing, it is uncontrollable, physical.

Might sounds nice, and to be honest it IS much more nicer than to wake up because of terror.

But it is also a very strange feeling and experience, not so pleasant. I'm getting used to it, but at first it was very disturbing.

Actually, it is a pity : perhaps I'm creating the best humorous show during my sleep and I'm missing a great career because I can't remember my jokes !

 

So, to make it short : struggling mostly with chemical anxiety, and some unpleasant symptoms, but definitely improving and doing better (and sometimes giggling stupidly under my blanket) ☀️

 

Sending lot of love ❤️ 

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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mustafa
3 hours ago, Erell said:

And a strange one : since 2-3 weeks, I woke up during many nights with an irrepressible need to laugh, and I can't stop laughing during 10-15 minutes before it calms down.

Erell, iam so happy u have wonderful improvements and I know u are struggling too but good to have inprovements to feel motivated .

For the quoted symptomts for u, I suffered it alot, alot, alot,.....,etc; I know it is bothering, I remember some days when I was very depressed and despite that, iam laughing, what!!!!!!?, how come!!!? But of course I knew later they are symptomts so, all those are symptomts for the drugs, nothing more.

I read your words about doctors, foolish doctors; in our culture we say, what happend to you, weren't to miss u and that means you would have been suffering like know even if you havent visited psychiatrists at all erell( I hope u understand my words ).

Hope more improvements for u and more and more from gentler days.


i wasn't on a certain drug all the period. i took many drugs many times and for no very long period but to simplify.

--fluvoxamine maleate100 mg + amisulpride 200mg------started july 2012 and total taper in february 2015 ( 9 months without drugs then)

--sertraline 100mg -------started november 2015 and total taper (withoud reduction slowly) in november 2016( 4 months withoud drugs then).

--sertraline 100mg + quetiabine 25mg ( started in mars 2016 and for 7 months) then fluvoxamine maleate 100mg again for another 7months and after that a something like to use every drug for 14 days and for about 1.5 years.

--my last drug was trintellix 10 mg ( used it in 12/2018and total taper in 4/2019).

symptomts i have now ( bad concentration and problems in short and long memory+ bad depersonalization).

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Altostrata

Good to hear you're feeling a bit better, Erell.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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sunnysideup69

Hey @Erell, have been a bit wrapped up in work, but am letting that go a bit now. Thought I'd drop by and see how you are and am DELIGHTED to read you are seeing some improvements.

Also, the thing about the uncontrollable laughing; I've also had that! It's so weird! I felt a bit like the evil villain in a film....it was kind of 'mwahahahahahaha' for ages!

Anyway, sending good wishes and I know that you're going to see continued healing, now. You're on the right path. xxx


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Cigale
On 10/7/2020 at 2:55 PM, Erell said:

definitely improving and doing better (and sometimes giggling stupidly under my blanket) ☀️

 

Salut @Erell - It is so good to hear that you are doing better my friend. Though it must feel so strange, laughter is supposed to very healing. I hope you continue to improve and have the chance to enjoy the beautiful fall colors. I bet it is lovely in Brittany this time of year. Bisous, Cigale


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Erell

Thank you dears : I always feel blessed when I come here and read your nice support ❤

Especially when I don't spend time on others threads. 

 

You made me laugh @mustafa and @sunnysideup69 : what a strange symptom! Thank you for sharing with me : it always help to know you're not the only one laughing stupidly under yout blanket ;)

 

And Alto, your generosity 💞

 

Well, I might have spoken a bit too soon in my last post : periods came on Sunday 11 Oct and I'm struggling to cope since. 

Last week was made of improvements, I even managed to go to the hairdresser and wait there during 1hour, took initiatives in the house, read books feeling calm, took a nap without anxiety surge ...!

Which seems weird as I was in PMS.

So this time, worst of my cycle is during periods : I'm currently back in terror, feeling shaky, agitated, crying spells, very dizzy, intrusive thoughts and harm impulses, strong body aches, debilitating agoraphobia ...and the list goes on.

Ups and downs eh ? 

 

This is brutal after feeling better : waves and windows. I'm waiting and hoping for relief once oestrogene will go up 😉

Dealing with the usual what ifs and working on ignoring them...at least trying to ignore the "I'll never feel better".

 

 

I wanted to share a few things :

 

---》 I see in my daily notes that last weeks I've regularly had a harder spike of chemical anxiety in the evening.

I wonder if it is a sign of something, or not.

I can't connect it with peak plasma as it sometimes happen around 8pm, sometimes 9pm, or 10pm.

But it happens almost every evening.

Any thoughts  ?

 

---》 Second thing I wanted to share is an anecdote : it seems that my first reaction to Paroxetine when I was a teenager was an adverse reaction !

I don't really remember it, but my parents told me that the first pills made me extremely agitated and gave me terror. The doctor added a large dose of benzo to counteract the reaction, saying it was a "normal reaction to AD's".

So my drug history started with an adverse reaction...!

Well to be honest I don't really know what to do with this info, but I needed to share because for some reason it disturbs me.

Or I could see this as a positive story : I had forgot it, so yes, our minds can definitely forget the sufferings with time, and that's a great news !

(Please, no blaming on my parents : they have made a mistake, and are now willing to learn and support. We are all learning).

 

Well, I'm having a hard time to cope but I do hope I'll come back here soon with another positive update ! ;)

 

Sending lot of love ❤

 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Cigale

You continue to be my hero @Erell! Despite your challenges, you still always find the positives. Even in that early adverse reaction - which makes me angry with the doctor - you can see an upside. You are so strong and your heart is so open and generous! I am sending healing hugs 🤗 for this wave to pass!


2008-2016 - Lexapro 10 mg, tapered to 2.5 mg over one year then CT
Feb 2, 2019 to July 24, 2019 - restart Lexapro 5 mg; July 25, 2019 increase Lexapro 10 mg
Nov 20, 2019 to Dec 11, 2019 - way too fast taper from Lexapro 10 mg to 7.5 mg to 5 mg to 0
Dec 12, 2019 to Feb 4, 2020 - drug free until horrible WD hit
Feb 5, 2020 to Feb 16, 2020 - started Paxil 10 mg, resulted in very bad reaction
Feb 18, 2020 - current - reinstate Lexapro 5 mg and stabilizing

 

daily meditation 10-40 minutes, yoga 30 minutes; CBT & ACT therapy

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Mimi79

Hi dear Erell!

I’m so sorry that you are feeling worst after such good days. I’m sure you will feel better soon.

 
This strange pattern is very common for me since I’m in withdrawal. The worst part of my menstrual cycle is the week right after the beginning of my period. Most of the time this is when my waves start. I rarely have PMS. And I’ve noticed something else since the last few months. When I’m late for my period to start (long cycle), my symptoms during the next wave are far worst than ever!

Usually, I start to feel better just before my ovulation and I’m okay until the beginning of my next period. Almost always this pattern since the last 12 months. 

 

Remember that you were feeling better in the last weeks. You will come back to this state soon, I’m pretty confident about it.

 

Prends soin de toi, ma chère! 

 

Big hugs from Montréal!!

Mimi


Oct 2007 - aug 2008: Mirtazapine (for insomnia). Tapered from march until august 2008.

Sept 2008 - Anxiety relapse, so been put on 20mg Celexa - tapered from feb 2009 until august 2010. Dec 2009-Sept 2010: Celexa, Cymbalta. Quit C/T both.

Sept 2010 - Jan 2015: Paxil 20mg.  Jan 2015 - Paxil Poop-out so tapered very fast (over 3 weeks) then switched to 30mg mirtazapine.  Suffered very bad w/d symptoms for

                    3  months. March 2015 - Mirt didn't work so switched to 100mg Pristiq.

April 2015 to oct 2018 : Mirtazapine 30mg + Pristiq 50mg. March 2018 to Dec 2018: Tapered Pristiq (by switching to effexor) and updosed Mirtazapine to 45mg.

June 2019: Adverse reaction to short use of Zopiclone (1 week use). GP put me on Zoloft 50mg. Adverse reaction to Zoloft so stopped it after 10 days.

June 2019-aug 2019: Fast taper of Mirtazapine, sept 2019 hit bad W/D symptoms, so updosed to 45mg. GP put me on 10mg Lexapro, C/T after 4 weeks.

Dec 2019-Jan 2020: Tapered Mirtazapine (45mg down to 37.5mg), but end of january, hit a wall of symptoms, so updose again to 45mg Mirtazapine.

Feb 2020: GP added 50mg SeroquelXR and upped Mirtazapine to 52.5mg. Stopped SeroquelXR after 2 weeks.

21 Feb 2020, found SA and staying on 45mg Mirtazapine, waiting for stabilization.

Seroquel 25mg on and off to help sleep, since may 2019. Ativan 0,5mg PRN, since oct 2019.  Early march '20, stopped both seroquel and ativan.

Supplements: Magnesium Glycinate, Omega-3, B complex vit., D vit. 1000UI. Melatonin, probiotic.

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Hanna72

Dear @Erell

Dropping by to let you know that I am so proud of you. You are so strong and your personality of kindness is spread through out this community. You should be so proud of yourself, the resilience you have is with out a doubt a characteristic that will get you to your destination. 
 

“mastering others is strength 

mastering yourself is true power”

                Lao Tzu


Hang in there, it will get better my friend. Hugs 💖



2000/ 20mg Paxil  for panic attacks. Many attempts to quit through out the years, without any success.

2019- January started tapering 20 mg Paxil. 
2019-October 10 mg Paxil , getting ready for a bridge with 20mg Prozac Took about 1 month during switch.

At one point my withdrawals were so bad I went up to 40 mg Prozac, but went quickly back down to 20 mg and very soon after that 10 mg Prozac.

Off  Paxil 2019/ November started tapering 10mg Prozac 2019/December 8 mg Prozac 

2020/January 4 mg Prozac 

2020/15/3 .09 mg jumped off

2020 March 16 off Prozac  Quetipine 25 mg used 1 time in 15 months, oxezapam 15 mg used 5 times 

Suppliments: Magnesium, omega 3 fish oil ( epa&dha) D and C vitamin 

“The two most powerful warriors are patience and time” Leo Tolstoy 

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Erell

Wow, your hugs are delicious, thank you ! ❤️

How blessed we are to have this place to support each other ! ☀️

 

Guys, I thought I would come here to share a bit as I'm stuck between two contradictory voices in my head and feel the need of 'objective' and external points of view before possibly making a mistake because of a surge to "do something".

Of course, I know that nobody can tell me what to do or give me any certainty. It's just that sometimes when our thoughts are hijacked, we don't really know anymore what is real or not.

 

So here is the thing : I'm holding 7mg Fluoxetine since 2 months now and 1mg Diazepam since 49 days.

These two months have been really hard but I've seen some improvments, sometimes subtle, but still, improvements.

Periods came from Sunday 11 October to Thursday 15 October, and symptoms ramped up back to extreme levels since Saturday 10.

Days have been particularly hard, in terms of terror/agitation but also intrusive thoughts-impulses : I try to cope my best but the intensity is brutal and the strong selfharm impulses too ( i'm sad to notice that I've bite my arms several times again because it was too much).

 

So this morning I felt a strong need to "do something" to feel a bit better : wanted to make a 3% drop of my Fluoxetine dose, but resisted and took my usual 7mg Fluoxetine.

 

I'm having issues to make a decision between two voices

 

VOICE 1 : I take too much Fluoxetine and need to drop it

-  Some symptoms I'm currently experiencing appeared this summer while I was probably taking too much Fluoxetine (agitation, need to move, mental need to escape, violent intrusive thoughts-impulses)

- When I look at my daily notes, I have harder spikes of anxiety/shakiness almost every evenings last weeks, and it didn't change when moving Diazepam dose later, so might be related to Fluoxetine.

- I saw improvement because Fluoxetine level was slowly leaching away after too high a dose in August but my body is still saying it's too much.

- Altostrata kindly suggested

 

On 9/19/2020 at 8:00 PM, Altostrata said:

Appears to me you're taking too much fluoxetine. Once diazepam dosing gets settled, you may wish to reduce fluoxetine by 0.5mg.

On 9/19/2020 at 4:18 AM, Altostrata said:

Then, depending on what happens, you might reduce the fluoxetine a bit.

 

As I saw some improvements then, I decided to hold in order to give a chance to my CNS to stabilise on 7mg Fluoxetine.

 

 

VOICE 2 : As hard as it is, this is just a wave and best is to hold everything 

- I saw improvements before periods came. I'm probably just panicking, it's only been a week.

- My symptoms could be because of Fluoxetine dose, but also because of Paroxetine withdrawal, and in this case dropping Fluoxetine would only make things worse

- Make a change while feeling unstable could just makes things worse.This uptick in symptoms could be followed by a window and then I would thank myself for keeping everything stable.

- Two months is not a long time in terms of stabilisation after a switch between drugs.

 

 

 

I'm trying to not make a mistake because of liar thoughts, and swimming my best into uncertainty WD world.

 

Sending lots of love ❤️ 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Gridley
6 minutes ago, Erell said:

VOICE 2

Voice 2 feels more right to me for the four reasons you gave. 


Gridley Introduction

 

Lexapro 20 mg since 2004.  Begin Brassmonkey Slide Taper Jan. 2017.   

End 2017 year 1 of taper at 9.25mg 

End 2018 year 2 of taper at 4.1mg

End 2019 year 3 of taper at 1.0mg  

Oct. 30, 2020  Jump to zero from 0.025mg.  Current dose: 0.000mg

3 year, 10 month taper is 100% complete.

 

Lorazepam 1 mg 1986-1991 CT, resumed a few months later. CT 2000.  1 mg 2011-2016.  Sept, 2016 increased to 0.5 X 3 in split dose. Sept. 2019 increased to 0.625 X 3 after crossover to new brand

 

Imipramine 75 mg daily since 1986.  Jan. 2016 began every 3-weeks 10% taper, down to 15mg.  Aug 2016, discovered SA, updosed to 25mg and holding.  Taper is 66% complete.  

  

Supplements: omega, vitamins E and D3, magnesium glycinate, probiotic, melatonin .3mg


I am not a medical professional and this is not medical advice, but simply information based on my own experience, as well as other members who have survived these drugs.

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Altostrata

Please post daily notes, 24 hours at a time.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Erell
5 minutes ago, Altostrata said:

Please post daily notes, 24 hours at a time.

 

Last two days :

 

Wednesday 14 October

7am woke up with chemical anxiety boiling through my veins.

Take breakfast + 1 fish oil capsule. 

8am : crying without knowing why. Agitated. Feeling hot. Muscles aches.

Toothpick Paroxetine + 7mg Fluoxetine 

9am : Take a 30min slow walk outside.

Feeling dizzy/strong body aches/ surges to escape/anxiety burning through my veins.

10h30 : make a cake, trying to ignore strong anxiety/tension. Painfull muscles. Lot of intrusive thoughts.

Noon : eat a bit, no appetite. Hard to stay on my chair, anxiety makes me want to move, escape.

1.30pm : cry in my bed to relieve some tension. Lot of intrusive thoughts. Head in a vice. Anxiety feels lower.

2.30pm get out of bed. Anxiety is better than in the morning, but I feel huge intrusive thoughts and selfharm impulses. I bite my arms. Strong agitation.

I cry and decide to go outside to do painting work to focus my mind on something.

Afternoon : spent the afternoon painting chairs. Cry a lot and feel very tense, but being active helps with intrusive thoughts and impulses.

4pm : 1mg Diazepam 

5pm : feel a bit better, calmer. Strong body aches. Take a shower 

6pm : 1000mg evening primrose oil. 

Anxiety ramps up. Try to relax with guided video on YouTube.

7.30pm : eat dinner. Painfull anxiety, like if it's burning through my veins.

9pm : still strong anxiety. Spend the evening in my bed trying to relax, massaging my face, listening to soothing music and doing sudokus.

11pm : massive fatigue. Several waking up/surges of terror while falling asleep.

Then slight anxious sleep until 7am. 

 

Thursday 15 October

 

7am : woke up with strong body pain.

Take breakfast + 1 fish oil capsule. 

8am : feel anxiety ramping up through my veins, head in a vice. 

Toothpick Paroxetine + 7mg Fluoxetine 

9am Still strong body aches. Muscles hurt. Anxiety boiling through my veins, agitated. Spent the morning in my room, too much tension and intrusive thoughts. Bite my arms when it's too much. Crying spells.

Noon : eat with parents. Painfull anxiety. Intrusive thoughts a bit calmer.

1.30pm : in bed trying to relax. Body aches. Painfull anxiety, tension.

Too much intrusive thoughts,  I finally go out of bed and take a 30 minutes walk outside.

Then work in the garden.

4pm : still some intrusive thoughts and strong anxiety, but feeling calmer.

1mg Diazepam. 

5pm : still a bit calmer. Watch a cooking show on tv.

6pm 1000mg evening primrose oil.

Play with cat, discuss with parents on couch. Strong tense/anxiety feelings but still calmer, less agitated.

7pm : eat diner. 

8.30pm go to bed to do some relaxation, then Sudokus.

9.30pm spike of sheer terror. Shaky.

10.30pm : terror fade and I'm left with strong anxiety burning through my veins, muscles. Feeling very tense.

11pm Massive fatigue. Several surges of terror /waking up while falling asleep.

Then slept good until 7.30am. 

 

 

Sending hugs ☀️


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Altostrata

My guess is a little more Prozac would help. How about 7.25mg?


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Erell
16 hours ago, Altostrata said:

My guess is a little more Prozac would help. How about 7.25mg?

 

Firstly, I thank you for taking the time to share your opinion.

I must confess that at first place I felt suprised when I read your post : I was trapped between two voices (holding because of improvements before periods, or lowering Fluoxetine dose because of activation) keeping in mind our guess that I might still be taking too much Fluoxetine :

 

On 9/19/2020 at 8:00 PM, Altostrata said:

Appears to me you're taking too much fluoxetine. Once diazepam dosing gets settled, you may wish to reduce fluoxetine by 0.5mg.

 

I didn't expect the fact that my option could be that I'm suffering from Paxil WD and may need more Fluoxetine.

This is destabilising but also very interesting.

 

If you are ok, would you agree to explain how I can learn to interpret better my dailynotes to understand what changed your mind reading them (from the Fluoxetine reduction suggestion to the Fluoxetine increase suggestion)  ?

 

I apologize, I feel ashamed for this complicated switch. I feel tired of failing with this bridge and struggling so intensely since June. Feeling like the further I go the more I deteriorate (in terms of being functionnal in daily life). And don't know how to get out of the mud.

Alto, you probably have gone through worse, but wow this is hard !

Can't thank enough this community for helping me during this hard year.

 

Hope things are calmer on your side and you can enjoy some fresh air ❤️ 

 

 

Dailynotes :

Friday 16th October

7.30am wake up feeling shaky, anxiety boiling through my veins. Painfull legs. Take breakfast + 1fish oil capsule

8am Toothpick Paroxetine + 7mg Fluoxetine

9am : still feeling shaky/high chemical anxiety, feeling restless. Cleaning house.

11am : restlessness and tension a very intense, feel strong urge to hurt myself.Loosing ground. Taking it minute by minute.

Noon : crying spell. Feeling like I need to escape and can't go on. Force myself to eat a bit.

1pm : Read my thread on SA, trying to guess what could be my best option. Feeling exhausted and tensed, anxiety tension. Intrusive thoughts-impulses are more mild.

3pm : go outside to do some painting work on a table. Strong chemical anxiety in my body.

4pm : 1mg Diazepam. Cry a bit to relieve some tension. Feeling very tense, intrusive thoughts are strong.

5pm : spend time on my computer, watch funny videos. Feeling very tense, intrusive thoughts are strong.

6pm : 1000mg evening primrose oil. Painfull anxiety. Intrusive thoughts fade a bit. take a shower.

7pm : no appetite, force myself to eat a bit. Feeling so tense. 

8pm : watch a cooking show ont tv, then try to relax in bed. Feeling tense all evening, insecure. Intrusive thoughts are calmer, just strong chemical anxiety.

11pm : massive fatigue, some surges/jolt while falling asleep. Then slept well until 7.30am.

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Altostrata

I do think you are experiencing paroxetine withdrawal.

 

You were taking 7.5mg then.

On 9/19/2020 at 11:00 AM, Altostrata said:

How long have you been taking diazepam at 4 p.m.? If convenient, that could be a good time for your regular dose.

 

Appears to me you're taking too much fluoxetine. Once diazepam dosing gets settled, you may wish to reduce fluoxetine by 0.5mg.

 

Now, do you now feel better or worse after you take fluoxetine in the morning?

 

It also appears the evening diazepam is helping, but probably too low a dose.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Erell
8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

You were taking 7.5mg then.

I wasn't,  I hold 7mg Fluoxetine since 2 months, since 20 August. 

 

8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

Now, do you now feel better or worse after you take fluoxetine in the morning?

My morning Fluoxetine dose doesn't seem to impact my symptoms. Symptoms ramp up when I woke up.

 

8 hours ago, Altostrata said:

I do think you are experiencing paroxetine withdrawal.

Yes I think too. I knew that Fluoxetine might not cover Paxil WD while starting this bridge.

Now Im trapped : I'm possibly in Paxil WD, but Fluoxetine seems to overstimulate me when I took more than 7mg this summer.

 

If I understand well, here are my options :

- updose to 7.25mg Fluoxetine (risk of making restlessness worse because of Fluoxetine activation)

- keep on holding and hope I can stabilise on 7mg Fluoxetine. 

 

Hard bet, as it is in WD world !

 

Sending you hugs 

 

Saturday 17 October

7.30am wake up feeling shaky, very tense. Some burning skin. Breakfast + 1 fish oil capsule. 

8am Toothpick Paroxetine + 7mg Fluoxetine 

All morning trying to relax in bed. Chemical anxiety stays strong since waking up, feeling tense. 

Noon hard to eat because of strong tension-anxiety. Eat a bit. Feeling very dizzy.

1pm : cry in my bed. Strong doom feelings. 

2.30pm cleaning house. Feeling restless, surges to escape. Tried to go outside but light/noise is too much.

3.30pm : still hard, but feel a bit calmer, lower surges to escape, more confident.

4pm : 1mg Diazepam. Listening to podcasts while cleaning.

5pm restlessness, need to move. Body aches. Dizziness. Still very tense.

6pm : 1000mg Evening primrose oil. 

Watch videos, play a game on phone.

7pm : eat a bit. Strong chemical anxiety boiling through my veins. 

Then go to bed to do relaxation.

9pm : I feel so tense by anxiety, all muscles are contracted. Need to find hope and read Success Stories on SA.

11pm : lights off. Chemical anxiety is hard, very tense. Fall asleep around midninght. Then slight anxious sleep (dreams/waking up) until 7.30am. 

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Longroadhome

@Erell

 

hi there 

in Baylissa book

Hormonal Imbalances:

“symptoms intensifying at this time” 

do you think it could still be from your last period That your symptoms have intensified  ? 

You mentioned I think that they haven’t been regular therefore having one now could have upset your system somewhat . 
just a thought ..


October 2004 -  October 2018 Paxil 20mg

October 2018 - November 2018 15mg Paxil 

Nov 2018 -  2x50 mg Pregabalin to help with Paxil WD

December 2018 - January 2019 10mg Paxil  

January 2019 - February 2019  7.5mg Paxil crashed 

February 2019 - 8.5mg Paxil

August 2019 - stopped both meds for 2.5 days meltdown 

August 2019 -  daily: 50mg Pregabalin April 2020 45mg May 40mg June 35mg, beg July 30mg, end July 25mg

Nov 2019 - 8mg Paxil, March 2020 7.2mg April 6.5mg May 5.9mg June 5.4mg July 4.8mg

 

these dates are approximate 

 

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Altostrata

I apologize, I may have misunderstood your fluoxetine history.

 

You could increase diazepam. You're not taking very much.


This is not medical advice. Discuss any decisions about your medical care with a knowledgeable medical practitioner.

"It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has surpassed our humanity." -- Albert Einstein

All postings © copyrighted.

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Erell
On 10/18/2020 at 6:22 PM, Altostrata said:

I apologize, I may have misunderstood your fluoxetine history.

No problem Alto, you're not supposed to learn and remember everyone's drug history 😉

In fact, it is a good news that your mind doesn't overload with it 😄

 

I made a difficult switch between drugs and despite being cautious it didn't went as well as I hoped and I didn't expect to experience such high intensity in symptoms.

Now I'm just facing tricky decisions, as everyone here.

Paxil WD, too much/not enough Fluoxetine, destabilised CNS...these seems to be the tricky bets someone has to do when switching drugs.

 

For now I just hope I can regain some functionality, like being able to do some food shopping.

And, as everyone, hoping I'm making the best decisions to help my CNS on my path to a drug free life ☀️

Edited by Erell

2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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Nyfa25

@Erell je suis désolée que tes symptômes s'aggravent.. Je pense fort à toi en t'envoyant de bonnes ondes pour un rétablissement 😘

 

mes symptômes à moi vont et viennent au cours de la journée c'est usant..

 

Si je peux me permettre de te conseiller d'aller tester de l'acupuncture ? Ça calme mes symptômes un peu pendant quelques heures et me donne un peu de répit et d'espoir pour la suite!


June 25 - July 8, 2020 - 2 weeks on Brintellix, suffered an adverse reaction.

 

25 juin - 8 juillet 2020-2 semaines sur Brintellix, a subi un effet indésirable.

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sunnysideup69

Hey @Erell,

Checking in to see how you're doing? Sending love ❤️ 


January 2008 to April 2015 Citalopram 20mg to 5mg, reducing in 50 per cent leaps. Jumped off at 5mg

March 2016 used MDMA triggered setback

April 2016 Citalopram 10mg October 2016 cut to 5mg, May 2017 cut to 2.5mg

May 2018 used MDMA triggered setback

June 2018 Citalopram 2.5mg up to 10mg, then back to 5mg

July/ August 2018 7.5mg, then 10mg

June 2019 updosed to 20mg Citalopram

August 2019 cold switch to Venlafaxine 75mg XR

 

 

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Erell
On 10/26/2020 at 2:02 PM, sunnysideup69 said:

Hey @Erell,

Checking in to see how you're doing? Sending love ❤️ 

 

Hello Sunny,

 

How nice of you ❤

 

Well, I didn't reply sooner because I'm a bit sick of my history and my updates during this hard switch and wanted to wait to report improvements 😉

 

Unfortunately things are pretty hard lately.

My dailynotes show that I've seen nice improvements at the beginning of October. I was able to drive, to sleep, to laugh a bit, to read a book...!

Periods came on 11th October and I'm in a hard wave since : high anxiety/terror, poor sleep, crazy intrusive thoughts, restlessness, strong agoraphobia,...

Feels like I'm back at square one, days and nights are really rough.

 

I try to convince myself that my previous improvements are a good sign.

I also tell myself that after this nasty wave I might see a beautiful window.

That's the kind of story I tell myself to stay strong ☺ 

 

Altostrata kindly suggested that I might benefit from a slight updose of Fluoxetine, and I think about it everyday. But I feel so scared of making intrusive thoughts and restlessness worse, I can't make the move.

So I hold and wait for brighter days !

 

I read Rhiannon's posts on SA to remember the importance of holding rather than making changes, and that people tend to stabilize if they wait steady.

I read Brassmonkey's posts where he advised me to stop making drug changes in July.

I read Aberdeen's threads and yours to remember that people ahead me made switch between drugs and finally stabilised, and even got drug free !

I need to thank you @brassmonkey for mentionning your budy Aberdeen : I read her story a lot and it always gives me some strenght !

 

Honestly, I could use some encouragements 😊 😊 😊

Sometimes my confidence in my ability to get better after an almost CT of Paroxetine is very low and I feel doomed.

 

If people do think that I'll stabilise eventually and get a bit more functionnal, I'm always glad to hear 😊

 

Sending hugs ❤

 

(We are back in lockdown in France, and even if I know that it's a bit selfish...it kind of makes me glad : people are stuck in their houses just like me...and I feel less pressure 😇)

 

(I sound negative, probably because I'm struggling and getting tired of this failed switch, but I also have a lot of luck : I have wonderful parents, and even if they still think that they MUST BE something to help you get better, they support me and show me lot of love. Nothing is always all negative !)


2006 : 20mg Paroxetine + Bromazepam(no specific dose) 

2008 : cold turkey of both

2010 : 20mg Deroxat + Bromazepam

2013: Switch from Bromazepam To Prazepam (long half-life)

2014-June2017 : Prazepam taper, 3% drops. 

2018 to August 2019 : Paroxetine 20mg taper (3% every 15 days).

- 22nd August updosed To 10mg (was at 8.4mg) because of a big wave. 

25th Sept 2019 To April 2020 : found SA, holding at 10mg Paroxetine. 

 

April 2020-August 2020 : Paxil to Prozac bridge. Details https://www.survivingantidepressants.org/topic/21457-erell-struggling-with-paroxetine/?do=findComment&comment=499847

 

Current Supplements : magnesium citrate/ fish oil/ evening primrose oil 

 

Current medication :

7mg Fluoxetine + toothpick Paroxetine (since 20 Aug 2020)

1mg Diazepam (since 29 Aug 2020)

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