Carmel2001: Getting my life back

[Carmel2001]

Hey everyone. My name is Taylor. I’ve tried 3 different SSRIs and Wellbutrin. I’m now a month and a half off and still don’t feel right. This experience opened my mind up to so much trauma and negativity. I’ve had to move back in with my parents. Now that I can finally work, I do so all the time as a distraction. I just want to be happy and independent again. I still sometimes get intrusive thoughts or spikes of anxiety/depression. I’ve also recently been diagnosed with Covid a second time which has added a lot of stress since I feel physically awful. I’m worried this experience has ruined my life. I have no desire to reinstate so I’m trying to push through. I want to enjoy life though and not just complete tasks. Anyone else feel the same or have words of encouragement?

[getofflex]

Hello, and welcome to SA.  We are a volunteer-run community of people who have been or are getting off of psychiatric drugs.  I'm sorry about the bad experiences you've had coming off these drugs.  It sounds as if your nervous system is in withdrawal from frequent drug and dose changes, and abrupt discontinuations of the drugs.  It's good that you are able to work again - it means you are improving and you are recovering.  You should continue to recover, as long as you take care of yourself.  Let me share some information with you that will help you understand what is happening, and hopefully avoid this again in the future.  

 

Thanks for the drug history.  Can you please add dates or approximate dates (at least month and year, plus early/mid/late month) to each drug and dose?  Thank you. 

 

Here is some important information about how these drugs actually work.   This explains why we get symptoms from going off of these medications, and why it's so important to taper slowly and carefully, and be very cautious about changing our doses: 

 

How Psychiatric Drugs Remodel Your Brain

 

 

This helps you understand what withdrawal syndrome is: 

 

Video on Recovery from Psych Drugs

 

Windows and Waves Pattern of Stabilization

 

Here is a link with checklists of common WD symptoms: 

 

Dr Joseph Glenmullen Withdrawal Symptom Checklists

 

 

Here are some techniques to cope with symptoms: 

 

Non Drug Ways to Cope with Withdrawal Symptoms

 

Stability is really important.  Please read the link about stability:

 

Keep It Simple, Slow, and Stable

 

 

We don't suggest many supplements, but 2 that many of us find helpful are magnesium and omega-3 fish oil. Here are the links for info about those. It is suggested to add one at a time, and start with a low dose to see how it affects you. 

Magnesium

Omega 3 Fish Oil

 

I've given you quite a bit of information here.  Please read through it, and mull it over, and we will take it from there. In the meantime, take care of yourself, and take heart.  We in this forum have been through this, and we understand first hand the pain and discomfort you are going through.  Please know that the brain is amazing in it's healing abilities.  It takes time, but healing can and will happen. 

[Carmel2001]

Thank you for all of the info! I really appreciate it. I’ve tried searching different topics but I would really appreciate any advice or coping strategies for intrusive thoughts and SI? I didn’t have them pre meds and now anything can set them off. It’s terrible and I want them gone

[Carmel2001]

Update: I don’t know if I wrote it anywhere else but I tested positive for Covid a second time this week. It has completely skyrocketed my anxiety. I now feel so so depressed. Like the worst I’ve felt in my life and idk what to do about it. I don’t want to reinstate meds because they gave me panic attacks. So do I just try to ride it out? I feel so miserable and sad, almost like there’s no point. But I know I wasn’t like this before and want to be better.

[getofflex]

These symptoms are quite common during withdrawal.  I'm very sorry you now have COVID on top of it.  Please realize that COVID may have been way overplayed and sensationalized by the media.  The current strains are milder than the original COVID was 2 years ago.  I believe I had omicron in early January, and I'm fine now.  It was like a cold, but with aches and pains, nausea, and cog fog for several weeks after the respiratory symptoms resolved.  The best thing to do is to not panic about it.  It should last no longer than 14 days.  Please read this link, it will help you cope with WD and COVID as well: 

 

Steps for Managing WD Symptoms

 

Here are some links to help with the symptoms you asked about: 

 

Intrusive Thoughts, etc.

 

Repetitive Intrusive Thoughts

 

For Those Who Are Feeling Desperate or Suicidal

 

Here is how to do advanced searches on this site: 

 

Site Search

[Carmel2001]

Hey everyone. Here’s another update. I got into a local grad school doctoral program. I was in school in the fall when the side effects from meds made me pull out. I was excited until today the thought of enrolling lead to a spike in anxiety and panic. How do we get over this to try new things? I’m worried to decline the offer and then be better in august and miss out. Currently I manage two part time jobs so I feel like it can’t be that different. It may be the thought of moving out on my own. Pre meds, I moved states, started school, and a new job with no issues. Meds gave me panic attacks and now deviations from the norm or things I haven’t done in a while induce anxiety spikes. On the meds I couldn’t leave my house which is now remedied so im hoping everything else will go away too. I just feel like I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to settle and do a job I don’t like, but I don’t know if my body will agree with me. Im so torn. How did y’all reintegrate into society? If I was only on meds maybe two months, is there a chance I can return to normal by august?

[getofflex]

18 hours ago, Carmel2001 said:

How did y’all reintegrate into society? If I was only on meds maybe two months, is there a chance I can return to normal by august?

I'm still working on reintegrating into society.  Some days I'm fine, others not.  Yes, I think there is a very good chance you will have improvements by August.  I don't know about being 100% recovered by then, these things take time.  Please read 

 

How Long is Withdrawal/Recovery Going to Take

Edited April 20, 2022 by getofflex

[Carmel2001]

Hey everyone. Back with another update. Saw my psychiatrist today and even showed him a study about withdrawal. He doesn’t think that’s it. He wants me to reinstate a low dose of Wellbutrin. He also told me I need to work on being positive and grateful for my life. I’m so disheartened. I’ve been so miserable the past two weeks. Daily migraines all the time, nausea, appetite loss, heightened anxiety/panic, raging depression, derealization, and really bad SI. I just feel like I don’t care anymore. No one listens or believes me. Does anyone get any relief or do we just have to ride it out? Will reinstating help at all? How do I find a doc to listen to me? I feel isolated and desperate. I don’t want this to last much longer, it’s literally hell. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. I’m tired of being miserable and idk what to do to get better.

[Carmel2001]

Another update. I think I had a small wave but now I’m miserable. Back to debilitating panic and depression. My fam is putting pressure on me to go back to grad school. Which part of me wants to but it feeds my panic. But if I don’t go or feel defeated then it fuels my depression. I’m so down with headaches and SI. Idk how were all going through this. I commend everyone because I feel like I’m in hell. I just want to feel normal. Any tips for panic? What helps pull you out of your depression? How do you cope with routine changes and being on your own? I’m so desperate